Baby Girl Shays-Potter, Sister to Innis

Wise Swistle,
We would love your help deciding on a name for our daughter who is now 8 days old and still nameless. We have narrowed it down to our top two options but just cannot choose. I know it’s very short notice but even if you haven’t got time to answer I’d love it if you just posted our question to hear what your commenters think as everyone always has great ideas here!

We have a son called Innis (spelt differently but pronounced like that), which is a Scottish name that means river island. We are English/French (me) and Scottish (my wife). We deliberately chose a Scottish name for our son as I carried him and we wanted the connection to my wife’s family but that’s not a requirement this time. Baby’s surname will be double barrelled and sounds like Shays-Potter (initials C-P). Middle names will be after our grandmothers and we don’t mind about the overall flow, we just want to pick the first name based on its own merits.

Our top two options are Sorrel and Tarn. Sorrel is my absolute favourite name and I love the idea of a plant name for a baby born on the first day of spring. My wife also really likes it but is worried it sounds like sorrow, especially in her accent, and she finds it slightly hard to say. Tarn is her preferred option, and is more meaningful for us as a family. The word tarn is used in Scotland/northern England for a mountain lake, and we like the water connection with her brother’s name and the wild/outdoorsy feel as we are keen hikers and lovers of nature. Tarn is also a river and area in France where we went on our first holiday together, so has a joint Scottish-French connection as well as nice memories for us. I do love it but am worried it’s too short (all the names I love are at least two syllables, even though I do love Tarn I feel somehow that it’s not ‘me’ if that makes sense) and not namelike enough. Is it too out there?

Sorrel is the name of my heart that I would be devastated to let go of but I don’t want to use it and for my wife to regret it so I’m leaning towards Tarn. She in turn is leaning towards Sorrel because she thinks (probably accurately) that I love it more than she loves Tarn (which was originally my suggestion) and she doesn’t want me to regret not using Sorrel. So we are at stalemate! We are planning on having one more baby after this so could save either but obviously can’t guarantee it would be a girl. If this baby had been a boy (we didn’t find out until she was born) we would have used Guthrie.

Sorrel is currently 4001st in the name ranking for England, Tarn has been registered a few times for boys but never for girls. Innis’s name is 3411th in England but 83rd in Scotland. (If you’re interested you can track name rankings for England and Wales at names.darkgreener.com).

Other options we’ve recently eliminated but could reinstate if we can’t agree between Sorrel and Tarn: Delphi, Petra, Odette, Vesper.

We’ve reached a point where we feel stuck in our own echo chamber and just really want outside opinions on how these names come across to other people!

Thanks so much,
Izzy

 

If I put it through the “Which name would I want for myself?” test, I choose Sorrel. Tarn to me sounds almost indistinguishable from the word darn, and reminds me of the words tarnish and torn; sorrel doesn’t sound like the word sorrow the way I say it. Sorrel sounds somewhat name-like, even though it is not currently used as a name in the U.S., because it sounds like Laurel and Coral and the surname Norrell; I can’t think of similar names to bring Tarn into the name realm. But these are United States English impressions of the names, which may not apply.

I know she’s already 8 days old, so this suggestion could feel like too large a step back, but I do think it might actually help to kick out both Sorrel and Tarn, especially if we’re at the point where both of you feel like you can’t even use your own first choice because of how it would make the other parent feel.

Just yesterday we covered Our Favorite Names Starting with D, so Delphi from your list catches my eye, though I’d make it Delphine. Odette would be my next pick: unusual but familiar.

 

 

 

Name update:

Thanks so much for posting our question! Just wanted to let you know we decided to go for Sorrel. All the positive comments helped my wife feel more sure about it. We’re still saving Tarn for a future daughter though despite nobody seeming to like it! It was actually quite reassuring to see how many of the problems people had with it were specific to an American accent/background (e.g. I’ve never heard of the word tarnation). We have a few more years to psyche ourselves up anyway! For now we love Sorrel’s name, she is our hopeful little springtime sprout. Thank you!

54 thoughts on “Baby Girl Shays-Potter, Sister to Innis

  1. Kaye

    I arrived at the same Sorrel conclusion VERY quickly by asking myself the same question: I would not want to be named Tarn. Sorrel sounds name-like and I doubt that anyone would make the leap to sorrow, even if I can see that they can sound similar in some accents (they don’t in mine). Tarn, however, does not feel name-like, and it brings to mind tarnish and tarnation and tar and darn in any accent. I appreciate that to you it feel like a water-related geography name, but unless you live in a region where the word is used, it won’t to the majority of people, who will always ask her to repeat her name, convinced that they misheard. Sorrel is unusual but lovely, and if people react with questions about her name, I predict that they will be questions of pleasant interest rather than confusion. “Innis” and Sorrel. It’s perfect. Do it.

    Reply
  2. M.

    I would counsel against using Tarn. For me the immediate associations are darn, torn, tarnish, and tarnation. None are positive.

    Would you consider using Guthrie for her? I knew a woman named Guthrie when I was growing up and it never struck me as being a masculine name (if anything, it seems like a surname). Since you already love the name, just a thought.

    I also like Swistle’s suggestion of Delphine or Odette. Both are lovely and would travel well.

    Reply
  3. Kerry

    Also here because I prefer Sorrel. It won’t matter if it sounds a little like sorrow, and however your wife says it will be beautiful. If you like nicknames, either Sora or Rella seem like great options.

    Reply
  4. Meigh

    Definitely Sorrel, but can I put in a vote for Vesper just in case you abandon both? Our youngest has Vesper as a middle, and I love it more every day.

    Reply
  5. Kerri

    I have a bit of a hard time pronouncing Sorrel (the R and L sound always trips me up), but I think I prefer it to Tarn, as well. Tarn doesn’t pass the “would I want this name for myself” test.
    That being said, I did grow up with a Karn, so Tarn sounds perfectly namelike to me.
    It would be devastating and overwhelming to me to have to completely start over at this point in time, but if you decide you’re truly at an impasse, Delphi and Odette are both lovely.

    Reply
  6. Edie

    Another vote for Sorrel, although I can appreciate the multiple meaningful connotations of Tarn for your family. I think the meaning of Sorrel is beautiful and reasonably familiar, and I don’t think it looks or sounds too close to “sorrow” (I speak with an Irish accent).

    I also have a positive association with the name Sorrel from the character of Sorrel Forbes in Noel Streatfeild’s Curtain Up (also known as Theater Shoes).

    I had vaguely known the word “tarn” for a lake before, but wouldn’t have remembered the meaning off my own bat. I agree with Swistle and others that, unfortunately, “tarnish” comes to mind. A quick Google also brought up TARN as an acronym for the Trauma Audit and Research Network in the UK – perhaps not a crucial consideration, but might be worth bearing in mind given that the word is so rarely used as a name.

    (Your attitude and your wife’s, whereby you are each solicitously leaning towards the other person’s current No. 1 name out, is lovely and refreshing, by the way!)

    Reply
  7. Ann Sharfstein

    I love the name Sorrel. I have loved it since I was a little girl due to a favorite book, Theater Shoes by Noel Streatfield. One of the main characters is Sorrel (her siblings are Mark and Holly).

    But, I do sort of agree you should leave both Sorrel and Tarn behind and chose something else. Of your choices, I like Petra the best.

    Reply
  8. Laura

    I think of Sorrel and Tarn, I like the other commenters, would choose Sorrel for myself. If your wife is leaning the Sorrel way, and Sorrel is the name of your heart, maybe your should just take the yes and let your wife lead the way on the final baby.

    Reply
  9. Marisa

    I vote Sorrel as well, since you do love it so much. Sorrel Shays-Potter sounds nice! Delphi Shays-Potter is my second pick.

    Reply
  10. Suzanne

    Another vote for Sorrel. I love the way it sounds.

    And… in second place, Vesper, which is a name I would LOVE to use for a child.

    Congratulations on your new little one!

    Reply
  11. alex b

    Congrats!!
    I’ll throw in a vote for PETRA!! Love it. Awesome character in Ender’s Game.
    All your choices are nice, but I do prefer your alternate list better than the two mains, myself. Delphi is awesome; “Del” is a cool nickname. Or Vesper! Or Odette! You can’t go wrong.
    Can’t wait to hear what you choose!

    Reply
  12. Caz

    I like Sorrel the best, but I recognized both as outdoorsy nature names. Tarn is also used in the outdoors community here if you’re a moderate+ hiker, mountaineer etc.

    Unfortunately, I’m thinking this all through, I then made the connection to Sorel which is a boot brand/ manufacturing company here in NA and couldn’t I think it even though the spelling is different. So now I’m torn. Tarn? (Ha, sorry).

    What about Taryn?

    Reply
  13. moll

    This letter feels like gift of the magi but with baby names. The generosity is refreshing! As an American, I didn’t understand the appeal of tarn until I imagined it in most British accents – to my ears, more like “tahn” and not like an old cowboy saying “what in tarnation.” Of course there are rhotic accents in parts of the UK, but I’m imagining you’re saying it without the “r,” and possibly with a slightly softer t than Americans use. It’s much prettier that way.

    Vesper is gorgeous, too. I love nature-y word names for you, like Meadow, Lark, Aspen, Rowan, Briar, Bloom, Blossom, Linden, Fern, Myrtle … well, and Sorrel and even Tarn. That didn’t help! If we lived in a universe where Heather hadn’t already been heavily used as a name in the 70s-80s, it would be amazing.

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  14. Ashley

    I agree that when I think about which name I’d prefer to have myself I lean strongly toward Sorrel. It sounds a lot like Laurel so will be familiar enough that I think people will get used to it quickly, but it has the appeal of being unusual.
    If you reconsider your runner up names I like Delphi a lot.

    Reply
  15. Renée

    Another vote for Sorrel, partly because yes I’d rather wear it, but also – born on the first day of spring! It’s like she chose it for herself.

    And if you’re planning on more kids, Tarn could work well on either sex, in my opinion. Perhaps it’s more of an everyday word name where you are? I wonder if you’d consider lengthening it and using Tarn as the nickname of meaning, like Tarquin or Alastar?

    I also like the idea of considering Guthrie for baby girl. To me the name is associated with the American folksingers, and definitely surname (which belongs to any sex) and is reads as though you’re in the UK, so perhaps you’re removed from that association.

    Reply
  16. Genevieve

    I think Sorrel sounds much more namesake (and more appealing) than Tarn. I recognize Sorrel as a name, from Theater Shoes (which I had forgotten about but which was great) and from occasionally hearing of someone named Sorrel, and because of the rhyme with other names. Tarn I recognize as a landscape feature but never as a name, and given the stats you mentioned about names in England, it sounds like it would be much the same there. I don’t think it’s likely that people would hear her name as Sorrow, and the word sorrow isn’t used all that commonly nowadays (compared to sad/sadness). Since your wife is leaning towards it because she sees you love it more than she loves Tarn, and since Innis was named to recognize her side of the family, I think you should go with Sorrel.

    If you can’t make yourself choose Sorrel, I do like all of your alternatives, and the nature names others have mentioned. I’ll also throw in some more plant names, in case any of these make your heart sing: Saffron, Clover, Flora, Hazel, Aster, Chloe (meaning ‘green shoot’), Cicely (a flowering herb), Dahlia, Viola, Yarrow.

    Reply
  17. Cupcakes

    Picture yourself using these names in everyday settings: “Tarn has a bad diaper rash.” Sorrel! Come down to dinner!” To me, Sorell works a little better as a name than Tarn does. But I don’t love Sorrel because it reminds me of the brand of boots. In my family, we also use the first syllable as a nickname, i.e. Soph for Sophie, and the first syllable here would be “Sore.”

    I’d suggest:
    Laurel
    Terra
    Taryn
    Willow
    Delphine
    Scout
    Ivy
    Isla
    Layla

    Reply
    1. Cece

      I don’t think you’re pronouncing Sorrel the way someone with an English or Scottish accent would? In my English accent it wouldn’t be ‘sore’ it would be like the first syllable of ‘sorry’, like the o in ‘on’ rather then the o in ‘or’. Does that make sense? I asked my American husband and he said it the same way but he said in a Canadian or Upper Mid West accent it could sound more like ‘sore’.

      Reply
  18. kate

    For me personally, Tarn doesn’t pass the “would I want it as my name” test. I’m familiar with its meaning but it just doesn’t hit my ear as a name and I think I would find clarifying/repeating it tiresome.

    I wonder if it would be worth rethinking your plan for the middle names? Tarn would work beautifully as a middle, where lack of familiarity isn’t an issue.

    Reply
  19. Marissa

    I vote for Odette but do like the spring connection you were trying to achieve. Verna also means spring if that helps any.

    Reply
  20. belinda bop

    If it were me, between Sorrel and Tarn, definitely Sorrel for all the reasons others have mentioned. Tarn sounds too much like “darn” or “tarnation.” Maybe the kid would grow to love it, but it’s one of those names that could be burdensome to wear.

    But I LOVE your runner-up names. Odette! Delphi or Delphine! PETRA! All so striking and fabulous. If your wife is really not feeling Sorrel, there is great potential in the second string.

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  21. kellyelkman

    I prefer Sorrel to Tarn, and your runner up list is fabulous! I particularly love Odette and Delphine. So cute!

    Reply
  22. Geeni

    I vote for Vesper!!!!

    Vesper has crisp clear syllables, similar to Innis, which makes them both easier to pronounce with the hyphenated, multinational last name. Such a lovely bell-like onomatopoeia to it. Never considered it as a name before today and I AM IN LOVE!

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  23. April Stevens

    Congratulations! I think all of the names on your list are beautiful. I personally wouldn’t choose Sorrel only because a parent finding it difficult to say would be a deal-breaker for me (I’m worried it wouldn’t grow easier to say with time), but otherwise I love it. Odette is my very favorite from your list, though I keep going back and forth, too, since they’re all so lovely!

    Reply
    1. Jd

      I also had this concern – if one parent can’t say the name easily it seems like a deal breaker. I like Sorrel and think of horses (it’s a horse color).
      I like Tarn, and think the meaning is special, but because it’s not a common word or name it might make a tough name. You’d always have to spell it, people would hear it wrong. I think it should be the middle name.

      Reply
  24. Cupcakes

    I thought of a few more for you:

    Lochlan/Lachlan (or you could spell it Lochlyn/Lachlyn/Lachlynn if you want it to be more feminine). I know a boy named Lachlan. His family is Irish or Scottish, and he goes by the nickname Lachy (pronounced like “Lockey”). It’s adorable.

    Wren (kind of similar to “Tarn” in being one syllable and nature-themed, but I think more recognizable as a name.

    Aisling (pronounced “Ash-ling”) the actress Aisling Bea wears this name so beautifully, and I think it would age well.

    Lark – another bird name.

    Aidan/Aidyn- I like this with Innis.

    Reply
    1. Maree

      Lachlan is a really interesting name to me. I see it as a really good example of the differences between US and UK names (Australia leans UK with the odd US surprise!). Lachlan rode the wave to super-popular status here in Australia some years ago. My oldest is 16 and it was very much top ten his year and probably over the 10-15 years before. My youngest is little and there aren’t really any little Lachys around, it is aging out.

      It is one of my favourite names so it has been really interesting to see how it is being picked up in the US. I am seeing far more variant spellings than I’m used to here. (Here it has a Jack vibe – ie Dad’s particularly love it and it is probably more of a conservative name like Matthew than a hipster name like Lewis). I am also interested that it is seen as a much more viable name for girls over there.

      I’m glad it is getting some love but I’m also really interested as a name nerd :) I also think it would be lovely for this family….

      Reply
  25. Kanah

    I, too, vote for Sorrel out of the two options. I have a reservation due to the natural shortened version of the name being Sore…but, if you wouldn’t naturally shorten it, I’d use it over Tarn. Tarn also seems more masculine to me.

    If you eliminate both names, I like Odette from your list. Good luck! Please update us!

    Reply
  26. Cece

    Sorrel! Sorrel! Please use Sorrel!

    It’s been one of my favourite names since my Noel Streatfeild-reading childhood, and my parents actually named their house Sorrel House. Obviously both names are rare but I think Sorrel is much more of an indentifiable name and is also just (IMO) very pretty and lovely to say. Tarn to me reads very masculine, not based on usage but just as an association, even though logically I appreciate that makes zero sense.

    Reply
  27. Cupcakes

    I thought of another one!

    Torrin. I knew a girl in school named Torrin and I thought it was a really beautiful name. It means “from the hills.” Kind of a nice mix between Tarn and Sorell. Torrin Shays-Potter

    Reply
  28. Maureen

    Another vote for Sorrell! Lovely!

    (And this name does remind me of the winter boots, but to me it is a positive association! They are BRAND NAME, HIGH QUALITY boots! Only SOMETIMES in my childhood did we purchase them!)

    Reply
  29. Ira Sass

    Another vote for Sorrel!
    Tarn sounds harsh and not namelike to me- I have an American accent though.
    I also thought of Laurel as an alternative to Sorrel that also has the nature/plants/spring connection. Or Lake, Lark, Robin, Wren, Arden.
    I do also like Vesper. Not sure if the associations with Christianity would bother you- apparently it’s also a cocktail so that’s something to take into consideration.

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  30. Maree

    I love Sorrel, which is all herb to me. It reminds me.of Rue and Sage.

    I’m familiar with Tarn the word from fantasy novels but my brain said boy (which is fine but an interesting data point). I knew a little boy years ago who’s middle was Tahn.

    I like Isla and Skye as Scottish water themes.

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  31. Rae

    I wonder if you might both love Starling! Dazzling, unusual word name, nature imagery, and some of the sounds from both your current top choices. Starling & Innes.

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  32. Kerry

    I really want to know what it means to not be able to pronounce Sorrel with a Scottish accent. It seems, on a surface level, like a word that exists in both Scottish and American English, so there are just multiple correct versions. Does the Scottish version roll the R slightly and put a little more emphasis on the L? To me that would be the opposite of a problem, and a completely different situation than an American English speaking parent that can’t confidently say Myrddin or Aiofe, for example.

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  33. Liz

    Because of Theater Shoes, Sorrel makes me think of Holly. Thinking of Theater Shoes made me think of Party Shoes and one of the main characters, Selina.

    What about Violet? Brook? Rill? River? Dale?

    Reply
  34. JMV

    I’d eliminate both Sorrel and Tarn, and reintroduce the runner up names. I especially like Petra.

    No one mentioned this as an issue, but I’d hesitate on Sorrel because it rhymes with Oral. I love the heart shaped leaves though.

    Reply
    1. Cece

      Again, I’m really confused by an English/Scottish accent vs an American one here! In an English accent those are two quite separate sounds. Sorrel is a soft ‘o’ like ‘long’ whereas in a UK accent oral would be more like ‘aw-ral’?

      Reply
  35. brims

    I’d choose Sorrel over Tarn, but (American) have some odd associations with both that make me not love either. Some of your others are excellent, and I’d adore a little Odette or Petra! Delphine called Delphi is also darling! Please let us know what you decide!

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  36. Nine

    I would choose Sorrel over Tarn as well, but ditto to the weird, non-helpful, American associations with Sorrel (only Sorrel I’ve ever heard of was the actor who played Boss Hogg on the Dukes of Hazzard, not exactly a modern reference to concern yourself with!).

    Would Monroe work for a girl if Sorrel and Tarn are off the table? Or does it have too strong a connection to Marilyn?

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  37. ab

    I would choose Sorrel over Tarn.
    I like the suggestion of Taryn as an alternative to Tarn.
    Delphine, with the nickname Delphi, is lovely.

    Additional names to consider:
    Adair — ford (or shallow place in the river) at the oaks or happy spear, pronounced a DARE
    Afton — a river in Scotland, Swedish for afternoon or evening
    Ardeth — blooming meadow or fields, pronounced AR deth

    Reply
  38. Carrie

    I’m so late to this that I’m sure the baby already has a name but I will say that I think I may have a personality similar to your wife in that I will often defer to someone else’s opinion if I think they are more emotionally attached or excited about something than me. 99% of the time I am genuinely happy to do this – the other persons excitement and happiness is contagious and makes me excited about the choice. However there is that 1% that I regret it and get mad at myself for not pushing harder for what I want. I think it’s awesome that you are so thoughtful to your wife and want to make sure this doesn’t become a regret of hers. Because of this I think Swistle’s may be right and you should take both Sorrel and Tahrn off the table. In which case I vote for Odette or Petra from your alternate list.

    To my American ear I think Sorrel – rhymes with Laurel – is beautiful (Laurel is one of my fave names) but I have to assume you are pronouncing it like your wife describes with an AH sound like sorrow which takes it down a notch for me. I am also wondering if in your dialect the AR sounds like Air and is pronounced like Tare-n rather than rhyming with barn? Which actually makes me like it better.

    At the end of the day I think all of your name choices listed are lovely. I also trust that your wife will stand up for the choice that she wants and won’t let this become a regret.

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  39. kellyelkman

    Congrats on little Sorrel! It’s a wonderful name, and I think Tarn will make a beautiful sister name someday.

    Reply
  40. Jodie

    Hi, I’m from Australia and think Tarn is a lovely name. I know of someone with that name and it doesn’t make me think of any negative word associations at all. I also think Sorrel is beautiful. Do you pronounce it like Laurel or like Sah-relle or Saw-relle? Jodie.

    Reply

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