Hi Swistle!
My husband and I are expecting our third child, a boy, at the end of May 2021. We already have a daughter Millie Jean (middle name after my grandmother) and Howard Gorman (named after both my husband’s grandfathers).
Our last names sounds like “Boat” but with an F.
I am having a difficult time coming up with a name for this little guy. I feel like I used all the good names with my other children!
To add to the issue, my husband has rejected everything so far. The only name he has liked is “Cody” which while has the E sound like Millie and Howie feels too 90’s for what I consider the more classic/vintage names of Millie and Howard. I don’t dislike it but it feels like there are better options.
Names we’ve considered (and have been rejected by my husband):
Thomas
Robert (my husband’s middle name)
Samuel
Bennett
WesleyI’ve ran through all the male family names and I don’t know that there is anything particularly good that we could use except possibly Gregory after my husband’s father.
Are there names similar to Cody that might work?
Help and thank you in advance!
Obviously there are no rules that sibling names must go together in any way, and there are many good reasons to do otherwise. But the name Cody is a STARTLING CLASH with Howard. If you had just Millie, it would be fine: Millie is more vintage/antique revival while Cody is 1990s Live with Regis and Kathie Lee—but it’s not uncommon for parents to have different naming styles for boys and girls, so it could work just fine. But once you went with Howard/Howie, in my opinion Cody went out of the running.
(Again, there are no rules, and we COULD make it work if the circumstances were right. Let’s say you had felt forced to use the name Howard for your first son because of a family tradition on your husband’s side of the family. And let’s say that as part of that deal, you very reasonably negotiated Full Naming Rights for the next child; and your long-time favorite name, also the name of your dear brother, was Cody, and you were writing because you were anxious now that that represented a startling style clash. Well, in that case I would say ABSOLUTELY Howie and Cody could work just GREAT together, and that it was good there was such a nice easy explanation ((“Family naming tradition!”)) for the startling clash of Howard and Cody.)
I do have one way to save Cody, if you want it, and that is for you to use it as a nickname for a name similar to Howard. I’m not really seeing any names-similar-to-Howard that would work with the nickname Cody, but on the other hand I tend to be (1) picky about what counts as a nickname for what and (2) not good at coming up with creative nicknames (others have come up with Bix for Beatrix and Jet for Juliet and Cole for Nicholas, and I would never have come up with any of those). So perhaps some commenters can use their skills here. And perhaps you have a family name with good strong C and D sounds in it that you initially passed over but it would click into place with this idea.
But I don’t actually suggest trying to save Cody, or for us to all spend a lot of time trying to find a name similar to Cody that your husband might consider accepting as a Cody substitute. Instead I suggest that the next step in this process is for you to take a break from your role of coming up with names, and your husband take a break from his role of rejecting all your ideas, and instead the two of you switch jobs for awhile: HE does the work and research involved with coming up with a list of names he likes and is willing to use for this baby, and YOU evaluate his choices. A role swap can be very clarifying for some couples.
This might also be a good moment in the process for the two of you to take a look at the balance of family names so far. There is no reason family/honor names MUST balance out, and in fact in many cases and for many good/valid reasons they DON’T balance. But I still feel it is good to check in, just to see how things are going, especially in situations where the parents are having trouble agreeing and it might help to know whose turn it is to have their wishes honored. Is your household’s surname from your husband’s family? And then your son has first and middle names after your husband’s family. And your daughter has, as her middle name, one name from your family. Okay! So I would certainly recommend a good search of YOUR side of the family tree before choosing names for this baby! But if that has already been done, and there are no names left that you want to use, then I think we should lean a little more toward your name preferences this time around—and especially if there WERE family names you liked from your side but that your husband dismissed.
The whole time I was writing the above, I was ITCHING to get started on a list of names that would work with Howard. (And with Millie, too, but I am more concerned about “brother names” or “sister names,” less concerned about brother/sister names—because of the aforementioned normality of style differences.) Because Howard is a family name, I don’t think names MUST go with it, and I think everything on your name idea list works, with the possible exception of Bennett—which has more of a surname-name crisp preppy contemporary sound to me and doesn’t seem like it works as well with Howard’s warm vintage coffee-and-doughnut-in-a-diner appeal. …I lost track of that sentence somewhere. What I was saying was that because Howard is a family name, I don’t think future sibling names MUST be the same style, and I think your name list works well for names of an adjacent/compatible style. But it feels much more fun to come up with names of the same style and time period—and I think that, unlike with the name Cody, you’re going to end up feeling extremely Cutting Edge when all these names start coming back into fashion.
According to the Social Security Administration, which has online records starting in 1900 (downloadable starting in 1880), the name Howard was nicely popular in the early-to-mid 1900s: it was Top 50 when the ranked records began in 1990, and stayed there until 1943. So what I’m going to do is check in with the Top 50 in 1900, 1910, 1920, 1930, and 1940, and see what little Howard’s friends and classmates would have been named back then. In addition to the ever-popular James/John/William/Charles/Thomas, we have:
Albert
Alfred
Arthur
Bernard
Carl
Clarence
Earnest
Edward (repeats ending of Howard)
Francis (Frank)
Frank
Fred
George
Lawrence
Louis
Oscar
Ralph
Roger
Stanley (repeats ending of Millie)
Warren
The way my heart flutters at a number of those, while I simultaneously think “Oh, but I don’t know, is it too…Old Man?” is what makes me think these names are NEARLY RIPE and will soon be back in our midst. Think of all the pets that people named Jack and Sam and Max right before those names stopped being Old Man and started being Extremely Preschool. NEXT UP: Alfred and Louis and Stanley!
I was going to say which names I had particular soft spots for, but it would be quicker to say which ones I don’t like as much (I am not going to do that). I will pick JUST A FEW. I have had a soft spot for Roger ever since hearing that an old-timey nickname for it was Hodge. HODGE. I have a soft spot for Warren not only for political reasons but because of a long-time family friend who was good-natured and warm and kind. George and Louis and Frederick and Franklin are all already on my own boy-name list, and Albert and Alfred are names I probably wouldn’t use in my own family’s sibling set but feel very warmly toward and would like to see used more. I have a soft spot for Clarence because of the book Life with Father by Clarence Day, which I got in a $3/bag library book sale and have read many many times since then. I gave up awhile ago trying to push people into using the name Carl/Karl, but I still think it’s a great underused name. I have a soft spot for Earnest, one of the few male names that can be considered a Virtue Name. I’ve had a soft spot for Edward ever since I started using it as a blog pseudonym for one of my kids.
I suggest taking another look in your family tree to see if you can find any of these warm, endearing names that might look a whole lot fresher on a sweet little baby with older siblings named Millie and Howie.
Name update:
Hi Swistle!
I wanted to share a name update with you. I thoroughly enjoyed your response to my question and I loved the reader suggestions in the reply.
I will say that after reading your response, I was able to get my husband to move on from the name Cody (LOL).
So, our little guy arrived a couple of weeks early. My husband and I had somewhat of a short list of names but nothing was really standing out to either of us so at the time of birth we were nameless (which was also the case with our other children so nothing new and I wasn’t stressed). I had taken a liking to Henry but felt it was more popular of a name than I wanted to use.
After he arrived and spending some time, we decided on…
Walter Gregory
He is just precious. He completes our family and our trifecta of old people baby names!
If you are open to non traditional nicknames Rory as a nickname for Gregory would be cute. Was going to suggest Bo as a nickname for Robert but doesn’t go with the last name…
Gregory is my FIL’s name so I have definitely put that on our list!
I just love the suggestion of Roger, Clarence and Lawrence. I also think Douglas/Dougie would make a great brother for Howard. One of my guilty pleasure names is Irving and I also that would pair nicely. I agree with Swistle that Cody is an outlier in style for the sibling names.
I love the suggestion of Doug/Douglas/Dougie
I agree that we are sort of doing your husband’s work for him. I would love for him to figure out WHY Cody has appeal? The cowboy aspect? Its cheeriness? If it’s the long o sound, I suggest Arlo or Winslow. They are more vintage to fit better but have some pep!
William, nn Cody could work (Buffalo Bill Cody)
We named our son Nico Vernon after my husband’s Grandpa Vern and I initially pushed hard for Vernon as the first name. I wanted to call him Van. Now that he is named, we love the popularity of Nico (there are a few in our local elementary school, so for my preferences that makes the name familiar but not oversaturated) and we love the old-fashioned pairing of Vernon. Sometimes we call him Vern, or Grumpa Vern if he’s being grumpy. My husband even said maybe we should have just named him Vernon and called him Vern. But we love his name.
So all that to say, I vote for Cody Vernon, or Vernon Cody!
What about a first name starting with Co and a middle name starting with Dy, with nn Cody? Something like Conrad Dylan or Cornelius Dyson (nn Cody)
Cody can also be a nn for Dakota.
A few names that have the cowboy-ish/Western appeal of Cody but aren’t out-of-place with the midcentury warmth of Howard:
Lincoln
Leland
Wilder
Clay
Weston
But yes, co-sign heartily on your husband coming up with more than a one-name list!
I agree with Swistle that it should be hubby’s turn to suggest names, however I’m wondering why he likes and/or is stuck on Cody. Aside from the early 90s vibe, my association is Wyoming and then cowboys. Maybe old-timey cowboy-adjacent names might lead you somewhere fun?
Virgil
Wyatt
Wayne
Wade
Carson (my association goes from Carson City straight to Carson Daly, so ymmv)
Cyril (Cy)
Everett (Ev)
Beaumont (Bo, Bowie – whoops, too close to Howie)
Judson/Judd
Clayton/Clay
Clifford (Cliff) <– Howie and Cliff is really old-man-name-on-baby-boy-cute to me. The F might blend into (F)oat though.
And Kit Carson, which is very cowboy
I agree that Cody is a startling style difference, but I’m kind of fan of unusual/unexpected nicknames that are a bit of stretch. Perhaps Conrad might fit the bill? I think Howard, Millie and Conrad are nice together and perhaps could give you a reason to use Cody if you like.
Ooh I love the suggestion of Conrad and also suggest Walter or Carl!
I think Conrad is perfect. Conrad = Co—d = Cody
It works.
I wonder if you treated Howard as a a surname style instead of vintage, whether we could find you something to get you to the nickname sound of ‘Cody’ and/or if might open your brainstorming more?
Coburn nn Coby or Bernie
Colbert nn Coley or Bertie
Coleridge nn Coley or Ridge
Coleman nn Coley or Mannie
Conway nn Conn or Wade
Corbett nn Cory or Kit
(You could keep going and going with options that start with Co-)
I love so many from Swistle’s list (especially Albert with the nn options Albie and Bertie!). The only other ones that sprang to mind are Wilfred and Bruce. I met a Wilfred called Wolfie and fell in love (though the possibility of the nn Will is probably too close to Millie). And I recently met a toddler named Bruce and I was so pleasantly surprised. Millie, Howard, and Bruce!
What about Clive? It’s just the best underrated Grandpa name IMO.
Clancy, please!
Leland, Lionel, Walter, Vincent. I once saw a kid named Norman at the zoo and it seemed INCREDIBLY hip. Or maybe the parents and kid just seemed hip and that made the name hip.
Love the cowboy-adjacent names suggested above for Cody substitutes!
Too bad Robert is out: Robert nn Bobby is one of my faves and it’s a nice bridge name between Howard and Cody. (Other nicknames for it are Robin and Hobbs).
Is possible for Robert to be a middle name? Robert and Gregory would be great middle names because of family importance.
Lawrence – Law, Laurie
(Probably not even a remote possibility, but Donald – Donny, Ducky)
Raymond – Ray
*** WALTER – Wally
Gerald or Gerard – Jerry
Ronald – Ronny
Marvin or Martin
Ernest – Ernie
Reginald – Reggie
Albert – Bertie
Jeremy or Jeremiah – Jerry
Nicholas
Michael – Mikey or Mickey
Christopher – Kit
Douglas
Anthony – Tony
Walter Gregory! 😍
Reading through, loved the suggestions of Clifford (Cliff or Ford!), Douglas (Dougie or Doug), and Conrad. I wasn’t aware of nicknames for Conrad, but googling says Cord is a nickname so Cordie/Cord could work and is similar to Cody. Dr. Conrad Hawkins is the lead character on the tv show The Resident and he makes it feel like a fresh/hip revival name. I also think Alfred (Alfie/Alf/Fred) is excellent with Howard!
I actually don’t see a huge clash in Howie and Cody, and I think it’s to do with the Backstreet Boys, or maybe it was NSync, but Howie makes Howard lean 1990s to me! But it doesn’t sound like you’re in love with that one anyway. I think your list of Howie and Ben, Howie and Sam, Howie and Wes, Howie and Tommy all sound great and maybe need to be back on the table! Since Howard is an honor name, I think you should pick the name you love most regardless of style match as that’s pretty subjective anyways, and it will give you the most satisfaction in the end. Brainstorming separately would probably work best, and then ranking each others choices without vetoing might help. Make sure there’s a minimum number of names that must be suggested!! Ie you each have to bring 3 names to the table! Good luck!
Yeah, in your shoes I would nix Cody. It’s not your style, and Cody seems like a sibling of Kyle and Justin. A totally different paradigm than Millie and Howard.
Names from our grandparents’ and great-grandparents’ generation now sound so novel yet warm and comforting at the same time. I love the Old Man Name revival!
Totally seconding others’ recommendations of Marvin, Clifford, Stanley, Walter, and Conrad.
Or how about Gordon, Harvey, or Hugh?
Ooo, love Gordon with Howard, and Gordy is a bit like Cody!
Or how about Grady?
Btw, if the letter writer doesn’t like Cody, she could always point out the similarity in the beginning sound to Covid and Corona and that it might get negative subconscious reactions these days.
I came to suggest Grady as well!
LOVE Alfred, Frederick, or just Fred with the nickname of Freddie — then you get the style and the -DEE ending of Cody.
Ooh, Freddie would be great.
A lot of good suggestions above:
I agree that it’s time for your husband to make a list (and as Swistle often says, without him comparing each name to Cody and finding it wanting).
A few more suggestions that feel like they fit well with Millie and Howie:
Calvin (nn Cal)
Carsten
Louis (nn Lou)
Jacoby nn Coby (or Jake, which is a great fit with Millie and Howard)
George
Murray
Alan/Alvin/Allan/Allen (nn Al)
How about Elias, Elijah, or Elliott, with the nn Eli? Millie, Howie, & Eli
Or Quincy. Millie, Howie, & Quincy
Walter is a name I see meshing so well with this sib group. Walter Robert Foat or Walter Gregory Foat both sound so distinguished. Mille, Howie, and Walt….this is perfection. I wouldn’t hesitate to use Wally as a nickname, either, but some may feel it is too similar to Mille.
Walter is a name I see meshing so well with this sib group. Walter Robert Foat or Walter Gregory Foat both sound so distinguished. Mille, Howie, and Walt….this is perfection. I wouldn’t hesitate to use Wally as a nickname, either, but some may feel it is too similar to Mille.
I like the idea of being cowboy adjacent or last name.
I believe the style is classic with a twist.
So with Millie Jean and Howard (Howie) Gorman
Brooks
Cooper
Wade
Eames
Enos
James
I love the name Gregory.
I don’t know why but I feel like Wesley and Calvin are both a little bit Howard, while Wes and Cal are both a little Cody. Name associations are weird!
Joseph nickname Jody
I like Robert, nn Robbie. Millie, Howie, and Robbie.
I agree with pretty much everything Swistle said, especially about looking to your side of the family for at least the middle name. Maybe even your maiden name could work as the first or middle?
I like the suggestion of Gregory, nn Rory, for you. A few others that I think work with your surname and sibset (avoiding another M or H name):
Winston
Walter
Frederick, nn Freddie (I actually like the alliteration)
Clayton
Conrad
Everett
Garrett
Rufus
Barnaby, nn Barney
Jasper
Sullivan, nn Sully
Oscar
Montgomery, nn Monty
Gideon
I thought of Stanley and Kurt like Swistle. I really like those ones. I also like Wallace — Millie, Howard, and Wallace….Millie, Howie, and Ace. I also like Gilbert. It has so many awesome nickname possibilities – Gil, Bert, Bertie, etc. I’m a fan of Roland.
Nothing to add except that I’ve seen Clarence suggested, and Clancy, but I love Clancy as a nickname for Clarence!
I also wondered about Claude or Clyde? And I do love Clive.
How about Harvey?
My daughter actually suggested this after I wrote to Swistle so it’s on our list now!
It’s funny. lots of the names that are still a little bit ‘out there’ for American naming are now fairly mainstream in the UK. I can think of two little Ernests. lots of Alfies (some of whom will be Alfred), quite a few Franks, and lots and lots of little boys called Louis, Oscar, Edward and Arthur. Anyway! Trust me they all wear really well in real life.
Can I suggest a name I always mentally pair with Howard? Grahame/Graeme. Which I feel is totally ripe for the very-now nickname of Gray. Millie, Howie and Gray?
I have a Louis! He’s currently 3 and we often call him Lulu. He probably won’t want that nickname when he’s older but he loves it now.
Here are some suggestions. Some are similar in style to Howie and Millie, some are cowboyish like Cody, some share similar sounds to Cody
Warren
Warner
Morgan
Grady
Wesley, Wes
Oscar
Eugene
Nolan
Waylon
Roland,Ollie maybe?
Lionel, Lennie, Leo
Leonard, Lennie
Frederick, Freddie
Doyle
Shane
Wyatt
Wayne
Lane
Desmond, Dez
Edward, Eddie, Teddy, Ned, Ward
Tobias, Toby
Elias, Eli
Lewis, Lewis
Boone
Garret,Gary
Elliot, Eli
Burton, Burt
Glen
Paul
Gentry
Carl
I see someone else thought of it too, but I came to suggest Conrad, with the optional nickname Cody if you’re husband is still set on it.
Coby also seems like a fresher take, which you could get through via Jacob or Colbert or Claiborne (maybe that’s a stretch, but just an example of a workaround).
There are lots of good suggestions in the comments. Two of my personal favorites to add are Cyrus and Errol.
What about Jacoby (Coby)?
August (nickname Gus)
Clarence (nickname Clancey)
Archer (nickname Archie)
Have you looked at the names of women in the family? A lot of the more vintage style names have feminine versions for originally masculine names. Perhaps there is something there you could use.
After reading this, I can’t stop thinking about Olivier, nickname Ollie. Millie, Howie, and Ollie…Love!
Spencer! Or maybe Preston.
Howard, Millie and Spencer. Swoon!
Oscar, nn Oz or Ozzie is perfect!
What about Harold, nn Hal or Harry?
I love the name Walter! Great job on his name!