Baby Girl Black or Cohen

Dear Swistle,

We want to name our baby girl-to-be after my grandmothers. She’s our first child, so no siblings. She’s due this fall. We don’t know yet what her last name will be, since my husband and I have different last names, but it will be either Black or Cohen.

Together, my grandmothers’ names were: Geulah (pronounced Guh-oo-lah), Rose (nickname Ronnie), and Naomi. We would be happy with a combination of any two of the three names for the first and middle name, but want the first name to be after either Geulah or Rose. We don’t need the names to be the same as my grandmothers’ names, just similar enough to know who the baby is named after.

We don’t want to use the name Geulah, but like the idea of a name that starts with G and has an L in it. I was looking at names and found the name Geila (pronounced Guy-lah), which I think is beautiful (and my husband likes too), but we worry it might be too hard to pronounce and people might pronounce it Gay-lah (we live in the US). We don’t really like the name Gail.

We like the name Rose as a middle name, but not as a first name (similar for Naomi), but again don’t need the baby to have the exact same name as her great-grandmothers.

Generally, we want to avoid names that are too trendy or too common, but also don’t want to name our child something that no one can pronounce or understand. Our minds are spinning trying to think of good name options, and I love your advice so I was hoping you’d have suggestions for good name combinations! Thank you!

 

At first glance this looks like an interesting and solvable math puzzle: Here are three names A, B, and C; you want to use any two of the three; the first name must be either A or B; the middle name can be A, B, or C. We can almost picture the show-your-work area of our math worksheets, where we would have to write the equation and remember to indicate that after we choose the first name we need to remove that option for the middle name. This is going to be fun!

We begin working. Let’s see. The first name must be A or B—but A is difficult and you don’t want to use it as-is, and other versions of it are either similarly difficult or else you don’t like them. Well, okay, that’s simple enough: we will use B! …Oh, but you don’t want to use B as the first name. Hm. *scribbles and erases* *thinks* *scribbles and erases* *thinks* *raises hand to ask the teacher for help*

You want to honor your grandmothers by using their names, but you don’t actually want to use their names as first names. This is a completely understandable situation, and it happens to many, many parents. One common option is for parents to use an honor name they don’t like as the middle name, and choose a name they DO like as the first name. A second option is to use a name they don’t like as the first name, but use it with a nickname they DO like (Geulah/Lula, Rose/Ronnie, Naomi/Mimi). A third option is to give up on honoring grandparents in this way, and instead honor them in other ways. My favorite for you is the first option: choose a name you like as the first name, and use one of the three grandmother names as the middle name. If you’re planning to have more children, save the extra names for them.

Or there’s that other option you mentioned, which is to look for substitutes for the names. That’s a path I normally avoid, because I feel it dilutes the honor so much. My own name is Kristen; if a baby were named Kinsley after me, I wouldn’t feel that was any connection at all to my name, even though it starts with K and has an I, S, an E, AND an N in it just like my name. But my opinion on this is far from universal, so let’s look for some names that start with G:

Gabrielle
Gaia
Galen
Galina
Garnet
Geneva
Genevieve
Georgia
Gia
Gianna
Gillian
Gloria
Goldie
Grace
Greta
Guinevere
Gwen
Gwendolyn
Gwynne

None of these seem to me to capture the essence of Geulah; the ones that seem closest to me are Gaia, Galina, Georgia, and Gloria. I wonder if there just aren’t enough G names to find what we’re looking for. Maybe a name like Julia or Abigail or Lula or Twila or Tallulah or Eulalie would be more reminiscent. Julia Rose Cohen. Abigail Naomi Black.

If I encountered the name Geila, my first two attempts would be rhymes-with-Layla and rhymes-with-Sheila. I would not get to the Guy sound without help. Let’s see if we can think of some words/names where -ei- is pronounced like long-I; that’s usually what I need to help me across a pronunciation hurdle. I thought of Heidi and Lorelei and Eileen and Reilly—but those aren’t helping enough in the face of Reid and Ryleigh and Leighton. Geiger and Geisel should REALLY help—but I’m thwarted by geisha. My eye also skips from the Ge to the L, making me think of gel and compromising what I know must be a hard-G.

The name Geila is completely unused in the U.S. right now, and that is probably the heart of my problem: if I KNEW a Geila, it wouldn’t take me long to remember how to pronounce it. The first few times I would say to myself “Like Eileen!,” and then after that it would just seem natural, the same way I’m able to remember Lorelei and Leighton and Leigh without mnemonics. But if I were the one named Geila, who had to be the first Geila everyone met, I think I would get very tired of pronouncing and spelling my name.

For these and other reasons, my inclination has been to stick to Rose and Naomi. Naomi Rose is gorgeous—but you don’t want to use Naomi as the first name. So, Rose Naomi. But you don’t want to use Rose as the first name. So then let’s look for Rose-like names:

Azalea
Cosette
Dahlia
Flora
Hazel
Iris
Josie
Primrose
Romy
Rosa
Rosalie
Rosaline
Rosella
Rosemary
Rosie
Rowan
Ruby
Violet
Zinnia

Plus all the double-name options: Emma Rose, Ella Rose, Anna Rose, Mia Rose. Would Mia Rose or Mimi Rose or Noa Rose seem like Naomi + Rose? Would Lula Rose or Julia Rose seem like Geulah + Rose? Would Rose Noelle seem like Rose + Naomi?

Or would you want to work with Ronnie? You could go Rose —> Ronnie —> Veronica.

Or what about this option: a name you like as the first name, then pick TWO grandmother names as middle names, but use them as they are. FirstName Naomi Rose Surname. Or Firstname Geulah Rose Surname. Or whatever combination sounds best with the chosen first name and chosen surname.

 

 

 

Name update:

Dear Swistle,

I wanted to update you on the name we ended up choosing for our daughter: your post and the comments were all very helpful, and we ended up going with the name mentioned in the very first comment (and others!). We’re Jewish, so it’s common to have a name variation to honor someone. Our daughter’s full name is Galia Ruth Cohen Black. We were able to get the G-L and similar meaning for the first name, and an “R” for the middle name (and we gave her both of our last names!). We decided that Galia, while it isn’t common in the US, sounds like “Talia” so will be recognizable enough. For her middle name, we were going to use the name “Rose”, but Ruth Bader Ginsburg died just before she was born so in honor of her we changed our daughter’s middle name last minute (literally–we decided this in the hospital the day she was born!).

Thank you again!

28 thoughts on “Baby Girl Black or Cohen

  1. Alison

    Based on the last name Cohen, it seems like one or both of you may have Jewish heritage, likely Ashkenazi. It is actually very traditional to use initials and not use the actual name of an honoree in Jewish communities, such as among Ashkenazim. This is particularly true if the honoree is still alive, but is also very true for when the honoree has passed away. In US Jewish communities, it is TYPICAL to hear people (especially children) say things like “I’m Michael, named for my great-grandpa Moshe” or “My name is Alana, I’m named for my great-grandma Anne.”

    Reply
    1. Heather

      This is exactly what I was going to say! I personally love this tradition and plan to do the same with my child. What about Guilia or Guiliana or Gianna??

      Reply
  2. Jordan P

    My favorite idea is imbedded in there. Geulah Rose or Geulah Naomi orrr Geulah Naomi Rose all with the nickname Lula!

    Reply
  3. Ash

    Sometimes parents pick a name that has the same meaning as the name of the person they’re honouring, so that’s one approach.

    I also feel like the writer says they want to name their daughter after a grandmother, but then they don’t actually want to name a their daughter after a grandmother. So why force it? If it’s not coming naturally, or if it’s not an easy choice, then just pick a first name you love and the middle name is a perfect spot as an honour name.

    Reply
  4. AJ

    If you love Geila then you can absolutely make it work. My first had a name that isn’t common in the US and I had some worries after he was born when I found myself repeating it frequently. But then when he’d met all the neighbors and everyone at school, it just became his name with no questions and I have zero regrets; it suits him perfectly. However, I’m not sure it sounds like you love the name Geila. Do you plan on having more kids? What do you envision for their names? If you do plan on more but you’ve used honor names on this baby, what then? I’d just suggest you don’t pigeonhole yourself just for an honor name unless you love what you’ve chosen. If you love Geila, then absolutely go for it.

    Reply
  5. StephLove

    Based on the last name Cohen, I’m assuming the family is Jewish and using an initial for a namesake will seem perfectly natural. So I’d just go with the G or R name you like best to give yourself flexibility. I think Gemma, Rosemary, and Ruth are pretty and underused.

    Gemma Naomi
    Gemma Rose
    Rosemary Naomi
    Ruth Gabrielle

    Reply
  6. RL

    Geulah means “redemption”, which shares the same meaning with the Hebrew name Galya (or Galia), if you like those.

    Or you can use it as your little one’s Hebrew name and make reference to it (or not) with a G name for the English version. You could do Naomi Rose, eg in English, and Geulah/Galia in Hebrew.

    For the name Rose, did your grandmother have a different variation that you like better? For example, my grandmother had the name Raisa that was Anglo-fied to Rose when she immigrated.

    Reply
  7. Kerry Clifford

    Geila pronounced Guy-la seems like a perfectly acceptable level of mild name annoyance.

    Or, if mispronunciations would bother you more than people thinking you made up a name or didn’t know the traditional spelling, what about Gyla?

    Reply
    1. Jodie Sheppard

      I agree, if you like the name Geila, why not consider spelling it in a way that is less confusing? Gilah (like Lilah), Gyla, Gylah, Guylah…

      Reply
  8. TheFirstA

    Oh, I love the idea of Veronica nicknamed Ronnie in honor of Rose! My family never does direct honor names, it’s always some kind of variation, and this is the exact sort of honor name that makes me feel excited! I wish I knew about names you like-it’d be easier to get an idea of your style. If you lean more modern, unisex, maybe Cameron would get you to the Ronnie bit? Other ideas I’d consider for a Rose namesake would include another Flower name (Iris, Violet, Daisy, etc). I assume you’ve already ruled out all the Rose combo names? Rosalie, Rosamund, Rosemary, etc?

    Geulah seems like it would be easier to honor with a sound-alike, rather than with the G initial. Tallulah or similar. Did she use a nickname? Or have a middle or Hebrew name (I’m guessing your family may be Jewish based on Cohen) that you could use or do a variation of instead? Oh–what about Giuliana? Or you could use the English spelling Juliana if you think the sound alone aspect is enough. Otherwise, I think the best bet would be to simply use any G initial name.

    Reply
  9. Iris

    Olga Lula
    Rosamond Talulah nn Ronnie Lou
    Golda Naomi
    Lula Rose
    Rosa Lou
    Rosalie Geulah
    Primrose Naomi nn Ronnie

    Reply
  10. S

    I realize you didn’t ask for help with the last name, but one thing to consider might be how the last name could “spin” the first name. For example, if I encountered a Geila Cohen, I might assume the pronunciation of “Gee-la,” as Gila is a Hebrew name. I’d be less inclined to make that guess with the last name Black.

    As an Ashkenazi Jew, I also think using an initial for a namesake is perfectly acceptable.

    Reply
  11. L.

    My first thought is to pluck Eula from Geulah. I would definitely skip Geila if it’s going to bug you that everyone thinks it’s Gay-la. I think I would do Eulalie. Or maybe rework Naomi to Noemi. Gaia Rose would be nice. I find your rules kind of confusing and unduly strict, to if you are not coming up with a winner that ticks every single box, maybe peel the rules back and open yourself up to more options that still honor your grandmothers.

    Reply
  12. LK

    In Russia Galya/Galia is always a nickname for Galina.

    If your looking at Hebrew names, there’s also Galit.

    I have an Augusta/Galit named for a grandmother whose name in Yiddish was gittel.

    Reply
  13. Maree

    I’m going to make assumptions about your ethnic identity based on the names you have listed, I apologise if those assumptions are wrong (but that might give you an idea about how they will be percieved, which is useful anyhow).

    I googled Geulah and saw that it means ‘redemption’ and is linked to the parting of the Red Sea and also to Passover. I then googled Passover derived names and got a great list including Miriam, Aviva and Rose inspired Yiddish names including Varda and Raisa. Do any of those work?

    Personally, I love Naomi it is one of my all-time favourites. Naomi Geulah would mean Pleasant Redemption which is pretty neat. I would be very tempted by that.

    Reply
  14. Maggie

    Commenting after the update was posted…

    I LOVE THAT THEY GAVE HER THE MIDDLE NAME RUTH.

    Sorry for the all caps, just didn’t know how else to emphasize it to accurately convey the strength of my feelings.

    Reply
  15. Alison

    I am crying!! My baby girl was born just a few days before our beloved RBG passed, and I seriously considered changing her Hebrew name to Ruth. Her great grandparent-honoring initials in English were already set in stone, on the birth certificate, signed sealed and delivered.

    (I posted up top about Ashkenazi naming traditions, how initials are common for honoring family members!)

    Reply

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