Dear Swistle,

I’ve been a lifelong name nerd, and I’ve been reading your blog for years – I just love it. I could talk about names all day long, but of course, it’s harder when it comes to actually naming your own children. I don’t think I wrote in about my first son, Graham Matthew, who just turned 2, but we’re expecting another baby in March, and facing a few naming dilemmas.

If this baby is a girl, we have a name picked out that we’ve loved since our first pregnancy – Ava. We’re 99% sure we’d still choose Ava (saying that knowing we had a different name picked out for Graham our entire pregnancy until we met him and changed our minds!).

But we’re struggling with a boy name. We love Graham’s name, and we’d love to find a similar name that hits the same points for us as Graham:

1) It’s familiar, but not super common. Graham was almost named Jack – and now there are two other Jacks in his daycare classroom, so we’re a bit relieved we didn’t go that route (although Ava is extremely popular, so obviously it’s not a deal-breaker for us to pick a top 10 name!). We just like that it’s a name that seems fresh, but you’ve also definitely heard it before.

2) It’s a no-nickname name. My husband is Matthew, goes by Matt, and it’s a minor annoyance to him to have a legal first name and the name he goes by. And I just don’t tend to like nickname names. Again, not a deal-breaker, but a preference. (Also, daycare kids have started calling Graham “Graham-o,” so I realize no name is nickname-proof!).

3) It doesn’t end with -son. This is the saddest one for me. With the last name Petersen (not how it’s spelled), one of my favorite boy names, Harrison, is out. Harrison Petersen just doesn’t work, as much as it breaks my heart to cross it off the list.

Names I like:
– Everett (my #1 favorite, I love it – to me, it hits all the points above, goes so well with Graham, and makes my heart want to burst when I think of having a son named Everett. Of course, my husband doesn’t like it. He thinks, especially paired with Graham, it sounds too pretentious. What??)
– Carter (both my husband and I like it, neither of us are sure it’s the name)
– Henry (another one my husband doesn’t like – and one I pushed for in my first pregnancy to no avail!)
– Rowan (a pretty strong veto from my husband)
– Harris (not sure I love it, absolutely sure it’s on the list as a replacement for Harrison)

Names my husband likes:
– Aiden (we live in Minneapolis, so I worry that Aiden Petersen sounds too much like former Vikings football player Adrian Peterson, but maybe I’m overthinking it – plus, I just don’t love it)
– Colin (just ok to me)
– William (I like the name William, but I don’t like any of the nicknames)

Names we like but can’t use because of family/close friends:
– Jack (coincidentally, our best friends used this name for their son born this summer, not knowing Graham was almost named it – they have great taste. :-) )
– Ben
– Miles

Also, both of our maternal grandfathers were named Vincent, so we think it might be nice to use it as a middle name to honor them both (and our mothers). This is not a requirement, as we’ve found that many names we like don’t go with Vincent, but also wondering if you have other ideas that would go well with that?

Is there a name out there that is classic but feels fresh, is not a nickname name, goes well with the (infuriating) last name that ends in -son, and I can get my husband to agree to? I feel like I peruse the same lists over and over (including reading Baby Name Wizard cover to cover and back again) and nothing is popping out at me. Would love some new ideas!

Thank you!
Kristen

First of all: high-five, name twin. I won’t go so far as to say Best Spelling, since there are many things to be said in favor of Kristin and so forth, but I do get a little thrill to see Our Spelling.

Secondly, I think the obvious solution here is for your husband to come around to the name Everett. It’s the best name. We get so, so, SO many letters where there is a best name, and the ONLY problem is that the other parent doesn’t like it, and so we all put our heads together to come up with not-that-name options—and then we get the follow-up and it’s like “Yay, the other parent came around!” Could we not WILL this to be one of those cases? Everett Petersen! Graham and Everett! It meets all the preferences!! COME ON!!!!

Also: it’s not pretentious. It isn’t. I know that’s a subjective thing, and a matter of opinion and whatever, but also: he is wrong. Tell him Swistle says Everett is not only a dapper gentleman name but also a cheerful farmer name. Everett, in flannel and denim, leaning on the fence chewing on a long straw, considering if it’s time to sheer the sheep yet. It’s part of the name’s charm, that you can easily picture an Everett sipping a cocktail OR slopping the pigs OR BOTH.

And it’s familiar but not super common! It’s a low-nickname name! It doesn’t end in -son! It is FABULOUS with the middle name Vincent! Tell your husband this: Swistle says “COME. ON.”

SIGH FINE. Okay, then I want to rule out all your husband’s choices. William is too common with a name like Graham, and also they both end in -am, and also it is NICKNAME-RICH—pretty much the exact equivalent of Matthew/Matt except WAY MORE SO. Aiden is too common too, though much better on the nickname thing. In 2018, according to the Social Security Administration, there were 2,165 new baby boys named Graham, 14,516 named William (plus another 19,837 named Liam), and 11,531 named Aiden/Aidan. Colin is good, popularity-wise (1,472 new baby boys in 2018), and there is Colin Firth to consider.

Let’s do consider him

I mean, LET’S

I do like the name Colin. With Graham, I like it better than Carter, except that YOU don’t like it better. But I feel like Carter spins Graham to a surname name, while Colin spins it more toward the gentleman/farmer thing I like so much, not that that means YOU have to like it so much. Also, with a brother named Graham, Carter shares a few too many letters/sounds with the word cracker.

Let’s see if we can find some more names along the Graham/Everett lines, in case your husband doesn’t come to his senses, I mean come around to what is clearly the best name, I mean change his mind.

Clark; Clark Petersen; Clark Vincent Petersen; Graham and Clark
Davis; Davis Petersen; Davis Vincent Petersen; Graham and Davis
Dean; Dean Petersen; Dean Vincent Petersen; Graham and Dean
Edmund; Edmund Petersen; Edmund Vincent Petersen; Graham and Edmund
Elliot; Elliot Petersen; Elliot Vincent Petersen; Graham and Elliot
Harvey; Harvey Petersen; Harvey Vincent Petersen; Graham and Harvey
Louis; Louis Petersen; Louis Vincent Petersen; Graham and Louis
Nolan; Nolan Petersen; Nolan Vincent Petersen; Graham and Nolan
Oliver; Oliver Petersen; Oliver Vincent Petersen; Graham and Oliver
Reid; Reid Petersen; Reid Vincent Petersen; Graham and Reid
Simon; Simon Petersen; Simon Vincent Petersen; Graham and Simon
Wesley; Wesley Petersen; Wesley Vincent Petersen; Graham and Wesley

I included some nickname-having names, because I get what your husband is saying about it being a pain to be both Matthew and Matt, but on the other hand that seems like (1) a perfectly ordinary name situation, like how you and I always have to spell our names so people know it’s the K & -en version, and also (2) Kids These Days don’t go by nicknames as commonly as When We Were Young. That is, any Matthew I grew up with was a Matt and that was that: the full version got brought out on the first day of class and at graduation; but Matthews born now are commonly called Matthew, and Williams are commonly called William, and so forth, and so I feel like there’s LESS of a “I’m always known as one name but my real name is something different” situation.

Name update:

Hi Swistle,

I’m so excited to announce the birth of our son, Everett James! My husband finally came around to the name (like we had hoped he would!). We both agreed upon meeting him that he is indeed Everett. We had discussed Vincent as a middle name but ultimately decided it was too long with Everett Petersen, so we chose James instead. James is a family name as well, but we picked it more because we liked it with Everett. And, this may be a stretch, but my middle name starts with a J and it feels special to share a middle initial. Thanks so much to you and all the readers who commented with other ideas (and support of Everett!).

Best,
Kristen

My husband and I are expecting our third and last child in January. We have 2 boys – Brady Mills and Walker Lee. Brady’s middle name is my maiden name, and Walker’s middle name is my middle name. We all use my husband’s surname, Kershmen. We are not finding out the gender of this baby until he/she is born.

For a boy we have settled on Davis Blake (Blake is my husband’s middle name and is what he goes by).

The girl name is trickier. Since we got pregnant with our first child we have loved the name Mila Blake and that is what we have always called our future imaginary daughter. The problem is, we like the pronunciation Myla, but the spelling/look of Mila. I have just now realized that naming a kid ‘x’ and asking people to pronounce it ‘y’ might be crazy. I like ‘Meela’ but it doesn’t make me feel the way ‘Myla’ does. But I’m totally out on spelling it Myla.

Other names we are now considering, all with Blake as a middle name:

Cora
Taylor
Mara
Claire (would have to find a different middle name for this one)

What are your thoughts? Do we need to let Mila go and come up with something else? Any other name suggestions?

Thanks!

My first thought was that it would be okay: I was remembering when names such as Mia first started coming into style, and people were wondering if it was MEE-a or MY-a, and it all worked out fine in the end. My second thought was “…But now we all know it’s MEE-a.”

I looked Mila up in a couple baby name books, just in case MY-la was offered as an alternate pronunciation, but no. I’m sure there ARE Milas out there pronounced MY-la (just as there are probably Mias pronounced MY-a), but if I encountered one, I would get that little eep feeling of wondering if that was on purpose or if the parents saw the name in writing and guessed wrong on the pronunciation. If I were a Mila pronounced Myla, I would get very tired of correcting people.

Here I was going to say that on the other hand, the name was not so common that it would be a constant issue. Then I looked up its current popularity and was surprised to find that, according to the Social Security Administration, Mila was the 14th most popular girl name in the U.S. in 2018. Well. That does change things for me.

I am not the name police and I am not the boss of you, but you have asked for my own opinion on this, and my own opinion is that no, you should not name her Mila and ask for it to be pronounced Myla. I think your choices are: (1) spell it Myla or (2) choose something else. (But I am bearing in mind that there is a third choice: saying “Heck with that, we’re doing what we want.”)

Looking at your list of other options, I wonder if you have already considered and rejected Clara: it’s like Cora plus Claire minus needing to find a different middle name. Clara Kershmen; Clara Blake Kershmen; Brady, Walker, and Clara.

Similar to Myla, I wonder if you’d like Lila. (If you are feeling it’s unfair that Lila looks just like Mila and yet they do not rhyme, I am with you and you have my sympathy.) Lila Kershmen; Lila Blake Kershmen; Brady, Walker, and Lila.

Let’s keep going with rhymes. Twila is pretty and underused. Twila Kershmen; Twila Blake Kershmen; Brady, Walker, and Twila.

Or Isla. Isla Kershmen; Isla Blake Kershmen; Brady, Walker, and Isla.

Maybe Dahlia or Delia? I recently encountered Delia in the wild and liked it more than I’d realized I would. Delia Kershmen; Delia Blake Kershmen; Brady, Walker, and Delia.

Or Maya. Maya Kershmen; Maya Blake Kershmen; Brady, Walker, and Maya.

Or Nadia. Nadia Kershmen; Nadia Blake Kershmen; Brady, Walker, and Nadia.

Or Ivy. Ivy Kershmen; Ivy Blake Kershmen; Brady, Walker, and Ivy.

Name update:

Hey Swistle,

Thanks to you and your readers for all the comments and name suggestions. I read through them several times throughout my pregnancy. In the end, we welcomed a precious boy and our indecision on a girl’s name did not matter! Here is our third boy, Davis Blake. We are in love <3