Jeanne-Marie writes:
I’m not sure how worried I should be, but my husband and I are expecting our first baby (a girl!) in exactly two weeks from today and we don’t even have a short list of possible names. Well…I have my list and he has his list but our tastes our so different. It may be unrealistic, but I’m still hopeful that there is a name out there that we’ll both love and will feel like is that perfect fit. But since we’ve completely combed the baby name books to no avail and are now on the two week countdown, I’m thinking it might be time to panic. That’s why I had to reach out to you and see if you might be able to help us. Our last name is Roberts.
The names that I like are Hazel, Eloise, Felicity, Cecile, and Isla. I’d love something short and sweet, but also unique. My husband likes Emma, Ella, Grace, Reese, Riley, Sophie or Sophia, and Mercedes. Mercedes is a family name on his side. I thought we could compromise on that one and call her Sadie. But he’s not a fan of naming the baby one thing and calling her something else. He said I could call her Sadie, but he would call her Mercedes. I thought that’d just be too confusing for everyone. (Plus, does Sadie even work as a nickname when the spelling is so different from Mercedes?) What do you think, is there any hope for us in bridging our different tastes? Or does one of us just have to give in?
The funny thing is, we had boys name all set to go with no debate whatsoever – Leo.
Thanks so much for your time! And your blog, it’s so fun to read!
The overlap in your two lists is that you both like the vintage revival names, but your husband likes the more common ones and you like the more unusual ones. One way to find a name you both like is to look at the two lists and see if you can find a more/less common version. He likes Ella; would you both like Stella? He likes Emma; would you both like Emeline? He likes Sophia; would you both like Josephine or Fiona? You like Isla; would you both like Lila? (Though this would likely rule out using Leo later.)
With a more common surname like Roberts, I’d be inclined toward less common first names. Mercedes seems like an excellent compromise name: it’s a family name, it’s uncommon, and it has a nickname that suits your joint appreciation for vintage names. I don’t think it would be confusing for the child or anyone else if one of you used the full form of her name and the other used her nickname—especially if neither you nor your husband minds if family and friends also go with whichever version they prefer.
I am in general very pursed-lips about non-traditional nicknames—and yet Sadie for Mercedes seems completely reasonable to me, I think because it sounds exactly like it and I can imagine the nickname happening naturally. I even looked it up, thinking it might BE a traditional nickname for it. And although I’d prefer if the spelling matched better, I’m not sure it works to spell it otherwise: Cedie? No. The nickname Mercy could also work.
One issue you might run into is sibling names: if you have another girl later on, will you be able to find a name you like with Mercedes? If not, Mercedes could move to the middle name position and we could go back to finding names that are a mix of your list and his. Maybe a double name, such as Anna Grace or Anna Sophia. Or he likes Ella, and you like short and sweet and unique; would you both like Willa? You like Hazel and Eloise and he likes Ella; would you both like Eliza or Elizabeth?
Name update! Jeanne-Marie writes:
Hello! Just wanted to send an update along. We had our baby girl back in March and, though it still took us a few days to decide after she was born, she was finally named! Mercedes Cecile. My husband’s family was very touched with our decision (since it’s his grandmother’s name). I picked the middle name and like that it’s a variation of Cecelia (my grandmother and sister’s name). I have nicknamed her Sadie and occasionally call her Sadie C. I really appreciated you posting my letter and all the helpful and kind feedback that came with it.
I love Mercedes nicknamed Sadie and I think it would be the perfect compromise. I don’t think it’d be a big deal if you called her Sadie and he called her Mercedes. If it helps, I know an Andrew called Andy by his mother and her side, Drew by his father and the full Andrew by everyone else. The only potential drawback I see to this is that one day she could have a preference. Will dad be upset if she starts asking to be called Sadie & never Mercedes? Vise Versa, if she one days she asks you to call her Mercedes and not Sadie, will you be hurt or upset by this?
If Mercedes/Sadie still doesn’t feel right to you, then I like Swistle’s idea of a compromise name. In addition to her suggestions, I’ll also offer Estelle, Helen, Seraphina, Isadora & Annabelle.
I think Swistle is on exactly the right track. Your name likes are not THAT dissimilar, he just wants something more common and you want something more unique.
Mercedes/Sadie is nice because he likes it but its more unique for you.Sadie works, but is he OK with that becoming the most used name if that happens?
Other names that I think might bridge your tastes –
Names that sound like things on both of your lists
Elise
Helene
Elaine
Violet
Lily
Gwyneth
virtue names
Hope
Mercy
vintage nicknames
Millie
Hattie
Maggie
Madge
Dori
Josie
Gwen
I prefer Hazel out of the names on your lists. How about Alice, Cora, Celeste, Florence or Imogen?
I knew a Mercedes in school who went by Edie, that changed the sound and the letters but we never thought it was unusual. She was the only Mercedes I have ever known outside of the Count of Monte Cristo ;) I know you could probably fish around for a good compromise but I really love Mercedes/Sadie and it feels like, as a family name, it would be a more meaningful choice than finding something in the only baby book you hadn’t previously checked.
I think a lot of the suggestions being made are good though. The key is going to be finding an overlap where both of you get something of a preference in the same name. I don’t think anyone has suggested Clara yet. I think that checks all the boxes. It’s not nearly as popular as some of his suggestions but its sweet, vintage, easy to say and spell. Plus, Clara Roberts is beautiful!
I know a Mercedes and her nickname IS Cedie (pronounced CEEDEE). You guys both like lovely names, so it should all work out!
I like the Merecedes/Sadie compromise, but if it doesn’t fly how about these names, which might bridge the popularity gap between you.
Adeline
Annabella
Arabella
Bianca
Carmen
Christina
Diana
Emilia
Esmeralda
Esther
Fiona
Gemma
Genevieve
Georgia
Ivy
Jane
Josephine
Julianna
Juliet
Laura
Liliana
Lucia
Madeleine
Margaret
Miranda
Miriam
Ruth
I have a good friend with a daughter my daughter’s age (2 years old) named Mercedes. They call her (and spell it) Cedes. It’s cute! I think you could call her Cedes and spell it that way, or Sadie too. Either one works. They also call her Mercedes sometimes and it doesn’t seem to confuse her at all. You both have great name tastes, and I think Swistle is right with her advise. Good luck!
I actually know of a Mersadie who goes by Sadie–I know it’s a non-traditional spelling and drops the “s” on the end, so it’s kind of Americanized … but I’ve always liked it for the nickname match and the less-strong connection with “Mercedes-Benz” (which, of course, isn’t a negative connection, but the “Lord won’t you buy me” Janis Joplin song does come to mind fairly quickly). Best wishes to you..and congrats!
What about Carys?
Carys Elizabeth is gorgeous.
Annelise, Sybil, Selena, Sabella, Susanna, Celeste and Selah are all pretty too.
I have to admit I do like Mercedes nn Sadie. So cute!
Good luck!
Kids come with so many nicknames and I haven’t met one adult who had issues because her/his mom called her/him by a nickname ;)
Mercedes, nn Sadie is cute. I think it works really well and it is nice that the name has a family connection.
Are you thinking of having more kids after this? You could, for instance, use Leo or that sound in her name now.
I.e. Leona, Leora/Liora, Leonie, Eliana, Lena, Lenore/a, Leonore, Leah, Lenae, Leila, Luella.
Leah Mercedes or Eliana Mercedes has a nice ring to it.
Other ideas:
Fiona
Beatrice
Meredith
Rosa
Kaye
Orla
Simone
Delfine
Edith – Edie — so cute!
Louise
Ruby
Norah
Cecily
I love Mercedes with the nickname Sadie, and I think it works fine. I also think it’s fine if you call her different things.
What about (sorry for any repeats!):
Lola
Olive (or Olivia nn. Olive)
Lucy (or Lucia, Lucille etc. nn.Lucy)
Scarlett
Mira
Cora
June
Mae
Elise
Celia
Greta
Heidi
Pippa (or Philippa nn. Pippa)
Cleo
Thank you all so much for the feedback and encouragement – I feel like we’re really close to settling on her name now. Some really great suggestions, too. So many of them I thought “Oh, I love that one too!”. I’ll be sure to send an update after Baby Roberts arrives!
I think Sadie for Mercedes is a little too much of a reach. It does seem like something in the El vein might be your best bet, in addition to Eloise and Ella maybe Elle, Elena, Lena, Elodie, Ellen, Eleanor, Eliza/beth, or Elise.
My great grandmother’s name was Mercedes, and EVERYONE called her Sadie. I think it’s a wonderful name. I also loved Swistle’s suggestion of the nn Mercy. Adore! Best of luck :)
Chiming in a bit late to say that my cousin’s daughter is Mercedes and we’ve all called her Sadie since she was born– she’s now 17. Not out of left field at all!
My cats name is technically Mercedes but everybody calls her Sadie. She was already named and nicknamed when we adopted her though.