Katie writes:
I just love your blog and am seeking some help in naming our second baby. We have a 21 month old daughter named, Adeline Elizabeth. My name is Katherine Elizabeth (but I go by Katie) and my husband’s name is Ryan Neal. Adeline was a very easy choice as my favorite author is Virginia Woolf, whose given first name was Adeline. My husband also immediately loved this name and it just fit from the beginning.
Adeline and all of our future children have my husband’s last name of Gudayle–pronounced just like a synonym for good beer. I have kept my own last name. We are due with our second baby in July and are having a difficult time naming him or her (we aren’t finding out the gender). We had a miscarriage right before getting pregnant with this baby; this was an extremely emotionally difficult loss for me and I think is a very big reason why I am finding it difficult to narrow our name list for this baby, who is now 19 weeks and (knock on wood) doing great. I was hoping to give you our (not so) short list and you could pick your favorite(s).
One more little note before the list. Since our children have my husband’s last name, it is important that I feel like my family is represented in the middle spot. So likely middle name choices for this baby are: Marie, Margaret, Eva, Emma, Arthur, Justus, and Vincent.
So here’s our list (I’ve grouped some names together because I think they are similar sounding or nicknames of each other)
Girls
Violet (my long time favorite, but I can’t quite commit 100%)
Eloise/ Louisa/ Louise
Jane
Celia
Beatrice
SusannaBoys
Arthur/Artie
Frank/Francis/Franklin
Calvin/Cal
Walter/Walt
Dean
PercyThanks so much! And I really hope to hear from you and your readers!
and
I had previously written you the below email and I (being the obsessive namer, of course) had a few additional thoughts to add.
1. I think my problem and my husband’s problem of committing to a name is that we had bonded with the baby that we lost. In our heads and hearts, he or she was Frank or Violet. Because we got pregnant so quickly after (about 10 days!) our loss, our favorite names hadn’t really changed so we anticipated using these 2 names for our new baby. However, at this point doing that doesn’t feel right; it doesn’t feel like it is fair to the baby we lost or the baby growing now.
2. Our criteria for names for both genders are names that we feel are strong and will mature well with our child, but are still aesthetically pleasing in sound and looks. The meaning and association of a name is also important–specifically I tend to like names that I have a strong and positive association to a person in history (especially authors) with the same name.
Thanks so much again!!
Before your second email, I would have said Violet! Use Violet! After your second email, I’ve changed my mind. It’s not that I feel the name ought to be or should be or must be ruled out in every situation like this, but it sounds to me as if in this particular situation it just isn’t going to feel right to you. It’s possible that the names Frank and Violet will go back on the list for a future baby, but it sounds like it’s too soon for this baby.
In that case, my favorites from your girl name list are ALL OF THEM. Oh, is that not helpful? All right, I will choose: Eloise. It’s on my own favorites list so I lean toward it anyway, but it’s also my favorite with your surname and with the name Adeline. I’d pick Margaret for the middle name. Eloise Margaret Gudayle; Adeline and Eloise. Hm, or maybe I’d choose Eloise Eva. I like both, and I also think Eloise Marie works well.
I ruled out Jane even though I love it, because Jane Gudayle is so very close to Jane Goodall. It’s a positive association, but a very strong and specific one. Perhaps that would be an upside, though, since you like to have a strong positive association.
For a boy, my favorite is Calvin. My second favorite is Dean. I like Calvin Arthur Gudayle and Dean Vincent Gudayle best, but I think both names are good with all three middle name options. Calvin Vincent repeats the -vin-, but that could be either a plus or a minus depending on your tastes.
Name update! Katie writes:
Thank you so much for all of your help with our baby naming dilemma! Your advice and the advice of your readers was invaluable. Additionally, the beautiful communal support provided in regards to our miscarriage was also very meaningful to me. We ended up having a beautiful baby boy on July 24! His name was actually not off of the list we sent to you, but came to us a bit out of the blue. We HAD decided to use Walter (nn Walt) until we met an acquaintance with a nephew named Theodore (nn Teddy) and both my husband and I immediately loved this name. We especially loved all the nickname options so we decided to wait until he was born to decide on his official nickname that he will be called day to day, and honestly it was immediately obvious to us which one was the right one. So here he is:
Theodore (Theo) Justus Gudayle
Thank you so much again!
I love all your name choices. You can’t go wrong. I would add Elise to the list. Adeline and Elise sound like a pair of sisters from the gold rush to me. They would be friends with Clementine and Violet.
Dean Vincent Gudayle is a superb name. Love love love that.
I’ve always been fond of Calvin, it gets a bit thumbs up from me! I agree that Calvin Arthur sounds the best, it has a nice bookish sound but Cal could be a tough guy too if he wanted to be. I prefer Louise to Eloise myself but I agree with Swistle that stylistically Eloise and Adeline are perfect for each other. My own top contender for a girl is Susanna so I’m biased, it might just be the cutest name ever. Said aloud, Susanna Gudayle sounds very Colonial Williamsburg to me, I dunno if that will be a deal breaker or a plus?
Also, the suggestion of Elise was great! Elise is gorgeous! Elise Margaret Gudayle!
I like Margaret best for a middle name, because it fits so well with Elizabeth. Beatrice and Susanna are my favorites from your first name list, leaning more towards Beatrice. (Although it comes with the risk of Bea Good…which is will either be cute or annoying depending on your perspective)
Calvin Arthur is just a great name.
Eloise Margaret sounds terrific with Adeline Elizabeth. Go with that.
For a boy, I like Walter Justus (or Walter Vincent), or Calvin Arthur.
Thank you for posting this letter. I just had an early miscarriage (at 6.5 weeks) last week, and it gives me hope to hear this story of a quick subsequent healthy pregnancy. I pray that it continues healthy, as I am sure it will.
I agree with Swistle that all of your names are excellent. I am not sure I can choose a favorite for either gender.
I want to thank you for posting too – I had a late, late miscarriage in the fall and just found out we’re pregnant again, but still so worried about the whole thing.
AND my daughter is Adeline too! How funny! Your list looks very similar to mine. Her middle name is Beatrice, and I’m kinda kicking myself in the pants because I think that would be my top choice for a sister name too.
Susanna, Louise, Cecily, Frank/Francis, Calvin were all on our short list in the fall – similar tastes!
The other names that we considered (too worried to start considering any right now, frankly) that don’t overlap with you includes
Patrick
George
Phillip
Henry
Catherine (nn Cate) (but probably not because you’re a Katie)
Margaret
Best of luck to you!
We have very similar tastes (my list includes several of the names on yours, in addition to Katherine). I love Beatrice, and the literary connections might be a fun tie-in to Adeline.
I love all of your names. The only one I would hesitate using would be Arthur because you’d then have 2 A initials. You’d need to decide if you like this or would want to/feel obligated to repeat the A initial with future children. If you are ok with 2 A initials, Arthur is my favorite from your list. Percy & Walter would be my 2nd & 3rd place choices. Arthur Vincent, Percy Arthur or Walter Vincent.
I love, love Jane & agree Jane Gudayle is very close to Jane Goodall-but that association is a plus in my opinion. Otherwise, my favorites are Violet (though I understand why you don’t want to use) and Celia tied for 2nd. I’ll also suggest Margaret in the 1st name slot instead of middle. It’s lovely, classic & seems like a great fit with Adeline. Jane Margaret, Celia Margaret or Celia Maria & Margaret Maria or Margaret Jane (Maggie Jane!)
I love Louise and think it is sooo very underused. It also goes well with Adeline, both very classic but not common (anymore). Louise Margaret sounds great.
Louisa Margaret could be a nice nod to Louisa May Alcott, so both your daughters’ would share names with famous authors.
Some other ideas for girls, as inspired by authors:
Adeline and
Simone
Sylvia
Isabel
Or Chloe or Ardelia (Toni Morrison’s real names)?
I like the sound of Adeline Elizabeth and Chloe Margaret Gudayle.
Or, if you think of the song ‘Sweet Adeline’, you could also use another name used in a song like Susannah and Louise, but also:
Adeline and
Gloria
Matilda
Molly
Layla
For boys, I think all the names are wonderful. I think Calvin Percy is my favorite. Perhaps you´d like Callum, which means dove, which is a nice peaceful meaning after all you’ve been through. Callum Arthur Gudayle has a nice ring to it.
Oh I forgot to add Caroline (song link) – Adeline Elizabeth and Caroline Eve!
What about Willa? (as in Cather) or Gwendolyn ( as in Brooks)?
I also love Eloise and Beatrice, ok and Celia too!
As for boys, Leo ( as in Tolstoy) and Eliot (as in the poet) come to mind.
I like Victoria for a girl and Calvin or Julius for a boy.
I know people who had early miscarriages who named those children. I know you don’t know if it was a girl or boy, but maybe you need to pick a name for that lost baby to get some closure for yourself. Whether it be referring that lost baby as Violet Frank or a totally different gender neutral name.
Also, maybe you will feel better about choosing a name when you are more secure in your belief this child will arrive.
As for your name options, I agree they are all good! My favorite of what you have is Beatrice Margaret
Walter Justus
Other names that come to mind when you tell me about your tastes (especially focusing on the authors part…)
Hugo (Viktor Hugo)
Eliot (George Eliot)
Marianne (George Elliot’s real name)
Austen (Jane Austen)
Scott (Orson Scott Card)
Aldous (Aldous Huzley)
Oscar (Oscar Wilde)
Willa (Willa Cather)
For a boy I like Dean Vincent best. That one just jumps out at me.
I like so many of the girl names its hard to choose but how about:
Beatrice Margaret <-- close second
Celia Eva
Eloise Marie
Louisa Marie
Susanna Margaret <-- my favorite
Frazier Vincent Gudayle
Margaret Eloise Gudayle
I know Frazier isn’t on your list and you prefer Eloise as a first and Margaret as a middle…
You have some fantastic underused choices! Really, you can’t go wrong with this list.
My favorites for you are:
Louisa Margaret
Susanna Jane
Walter Vincent
Calvin Arthur
Louisa Margaret would be a lovely name and an excellent sibling name with Adeline Elizabeth:
Adeline Elizabeth Gudayle
Louisa Margaret Gudayle
For a boy, I like Arthur best if you don’t mind having both children with ‘A’ names: Arthur Vincent Gudayle. I find Dean very bland and not a good sibling match with Adeline. I’m not sure Percy would work well for an American boy/man today (if you live in the US). That leaves Walter and Calvin, and of those two, I prefer Calvin with Adeline. But Arthur would be my favorite for you:
Adeline Elizabeth Gudayle
Arthur Vincent Gudayle
I associate the name Adeline with the early 20th century, so I googled the popular song from that period “Sweet Adeline” and found, as you probably know, that the song was published in 1903, but didn’t become a hit until 1904. According to the SSA Top 1000 names, Adeline ranked 185 among names given to baby girls in 1904. For boys, Arthur ranked 15; Calvin 160; and Walter, 12. I think each of those names is a strong male name that would be charming with your daughter’s name and fits very well period-wise with Adeline.
Calvin Arthur is absolutely perfect! I love this for a boy! Walter is my second favorite.
Beatrice is my favorite for a girl. But I like Beatrix even better! And you have the association of Beatrix Potter! That seems like the perfect choice for you! I kind of think that’s the winner :-) How sweet would it be to fill the nursery with Beatrix Potter books and read them to your new baby?
You have beautiful taste. Any baby will be lucky to have the names you’re considering.
Adeline is such a gorgeous name, and I’m in love with all your current options.
Katie, I’m so sorry for your loss. And it’s okay for the last baby to be Frank or Violet. And it’s okay if you decide to honor the last baby by using Frank or Violet as a middle, or later decide that you feel okay using Frank or Violet. It’s okay.
If you’re worried about how to honor and remember the child you lost, maybe you could create a memorial. Some people plant trees, some wear a mother’s necklace, others do donation drives, or make a shadowbox with poems or an ultrasound if you have one.
There is no “should,” love. This is your family, and your needs.
I wonder if you could use a name reminiscent of Frank and Violet, to honor the baby that you lost? Vincent is a nice nod to it, and the opposite sex, maybe you could use Frances for a girl? Frances and Adeline sound nice together. Best of luck!
Beatrice is a favorite of mine, a beautiful, classic name yet not very common.
I love the name you chose for your little boy. Theodore — called either Theo or Teddy — is a fine name and pairs well with Adeline. Congratulations!