The difference between my last trip to the grocery store and this morning’s was MARKED, and I don’t know how to account for it. The store had taken out all the one-way-aisle signs, and perhaps that contributed. Or perhaps it’s all the news items about mask mandates being removed. Or I don’t KNOW what, but what it was LIKE was as if everyone went back to pre-pandemic grocery-store crowding. All of a sudden, the deli section was packed with people standing close to each other. All of a sudden, I was waiting my turn for the milk section, and someone just went around me and went to the milk section, standing RIGHT NEXT TO the person who was already there. As I was waiting my turn for the eggs section, THREE people went around me and got eggs—no social distancing AT ALL. People were acting as if they didn’t even remember that they USED to wait; they were acting as if they couldn’t understand why I was just standing there.
It was nice not to have to go up an aisle I didn’t need just because I needed to go down an aisle in the other direction—but the two-way traffic was difficult not to be jumpy about, after all this time. And it seemed almost as if people had forgotten how to do it: I had to do a fair amount of dodging left and right to get around people, and it seemed as if many people weren’t looking where they were going.
When I was in line and had loaded my items onto the belt and was standing on the 6-foot marker to be appropriately distant from the cashiers (they’ve stopped spacing the lanes, so the cashier for the next lane is standing within 2 feet of where I need to stand to use the credit-card machine, with no barrier between us as there is between me and the cashier of my own lane), the woman behind me in line came RIGHT UP BEHIND ME and started loading her things onto the belt. Like, I was standing AT the end of the belt, and she was RIGHT THERE, within 12-18 inches. I turned and said apologetically (because she seemed like she thought I should get out of her way) “I just don’t want to get within 6 feet of anyone” (indicating distance between me and the cashiers and between me and her), and she looked at me without saying anything and then continued loading her items.
Every section felt full of people who being deliberately and pointedly uncareful. It was so unpleasant, I got only about 3/4ths of what I’d intended to buy: there were a number of sections that were just too swarmed with people. I wasn’t particularly worried about getting sick, but I AM worried about society-in-general giving up SIGNIFICANT safety measures for INSIGNIFICANT gains in comfort/convenience. Like, is it really SO WORTH IT to crowd around the eggs, or can we wait for TEN SECONDS? Is it SO IMPORTANT to start loading things onto the belt RIGHT AWAY, or can it wait for another half-minute?
I’m right with you on the indifference + self righteousness of these people.
I was hopeful that safety distancing and waiting would remain post-pandemic because it is pro-social behavior that makes us all feel more civilized and courteous.
Guess not?
So I live in a terrible state–Iowa. Our governor passed a law on Thursday at like midnight saying schools could not have mask mandates. WITH ONLY TWO WEEKS OF SCHOOL LEFT. Some schools had already made masks optional for the rest of the year. But a lot had decided to keep things the same since there were only two weeks left. It’s been a mess and chaotic and it was completely unnecessary because it’s likely in August we will know more and there will be a better consensus on masks. Basically this was a big F you to science by our state.
All of that to set the stage for you. I went to an outdoor garden center at Lowes on Monday and to Trader Joes. Both had no masks required. I actually wasn’t going to wear a mask at Lowes since it was outside and there weren’t many people—it seemed like a decent first step to get used to the idea of no masks. But 90% of the people were wearing them. So I put mine on. At Trader Joes, they weren’t limiting the number of people in the store which was annoying on a non-COVID level since I had gotten used to not having to deal with a lot of people in there ;). But again 90% were wearing masks. I was very pleased. I went to another grocery store yesterday and I bet only 50% were wearing masks. Disappointing. Knowing my personality, it’s going to be uncomfortable for me to wear masks if no one else is, so I don’t look forward to that.
One positive thing is my church has been virtual since this whole thing started. Only recently (late spring) did they even start having outdoor services and they will finally start having limited indoor services with masks required. That is very unusual here.
Fellow Iowan here! Waving at you.
Hearing about your church service, I would agree with you – very unusual for Iowa.
Our kids have been in person all year and I have been so thankful. They have had a great year with very little difference vs a standard school year. I contrast this to my sister and her children who live in a different state and have been at home since March 2020 and have had a very different and difficult experience.
“Giving up significant safety measures for insignificant gains in comfort/convenience.” THIS EXACTLY. It’s like there’s the finish line in the distance, we can see it tiny but there, and yet, let’s just stop here and be done, close enough. Sigh.
YES. It’s nutters. We know how to reduce spread and it is not that hard in many circumstances, there is still spread, but let’s just… quit here even in aspects and areas where the safety measures are minimally inconvenient. And thus let’s kill some extra people unnecessarily because of not waiting an extra 10 seconds for eggs.
That said, driving practices in some areas mirror that – ooh, we will get to the next red light *5 seconds* faster by veering around someone in an unsafe manner. (and this is part of why car accidents are so prolific: we are collectively selfish idiots who prioritize our own zippiness over, statistically, everyone’s lives.)
Can we all go back to kindergarten? Or have a primetime rerun of Mr Rogers?
Oh my. This is distressing to read. I had said that my first fully vaccinated journey would be to the produce department of my local grocery store. But as I needed parts and such to maintain my rural lifestyle I ended up at a hardware store and then an auto parts store and then a farm supply store instead. Then all I wanted to do was come home and shower and wash my go-to-town clothes. I fear that it’s going to take a long time before I attain a level of comfort mingling with the masses.
Thanks for your continuing reports. It’s helpful as a tool for my mental gearing up. Plus I just enjoy reading everything you write!
I’ve had the same experiences in stores lately. Literally the day after the new CDC guidance came out, it was like everyone in my small resort town decided, collectively, that the pandemic was over and masks and distancing were a thing of the past for everyone. The town immediately dropped its mask mandate and individual businesses, who were terrible about enforcing the actual law, have completely thrown up their hands. It’s all so infuriating because I track the statistics. I know that only 51% of eligible adults in my county are fully vaccinated. And we have the highest vaccination rate in my very red state so since most of the people I see in the grocery store are from other areas … Basically, I’m resigned to just assuming that the people I see wearing masks are probably fully vaccinated, and everyone without a mask is an asshole. Fair? Probably not. But it’s hard to argue against my feelings here. As a fully vaccinated person, I don’t necessarily feel unsafe. I just feel judgy and misanthropic and miserable. And I’m so tired of feeling that way every time I go out in public. My “everyone is doing their best” mantra from the first few months of the pandemic is no longer helping. Because I don’t believe it. At all. Sorry to dump all this in your comment section! I should delete, but maybe someone else is also feeling misanthropic, and judgy, and sick of feeling both?
I feel exactly the same way.
Same. I used to give everyone the benefit of doubt/grace etc. But I feel like this past year has turned me into a pursed-lipped, uptight, harridan. And I do not like it.
It is not just you!
Right there with you. Given that we were fortunate enough to avoid illness and loss of income, the biggest pandemic casualty in my household has been faith in humanity.
I live in NC. Very suddenly, I’m seeing only a small percentage of customers wearing masks; I’d say from 90% down to 20%, but still not a lot people in the hardware or grocery store. I’m not very worried about getting COVID at this point (I still have one kid under age 12 who is obviously unvaccinated, but the rest of us have been fully vaccinated for many weeks now. But! My college daughter had a GI bug just before coming to visit and then arrived with a cold and I’m on my second mild cold in 3 weeks. We just get sick very easily (always have) and I just know I’ll be spending my summer with multiple bouts of strep now that people are generally being less careful in places I visit. And I am super careful about masking and hand hygiene, but live with a houseful of people who are going to work and school and all interpret “careful” in different ways from how I do. I feel like now is when I really need to crank up cleaning surfaces in my house…
I live in NC too! I have actually been surprised by how many people still *are* wearing masks. I’m fully vaccinated, my husband is and parents are, and my eldest son has had his first dose, so I’m not extremely worried about Covid anymore (we are still wearing masks in stores, although I use the pickup option more often than not). However, our pediatrician commented on the fact that there’s been virtually NO flu this year–proof that masks work! I’m definitely going to not feel weird about wearing masks in the future if I’m feeling unwell, or it’s flu season and I’ll be going into a store, etc, because now I’m like, ew I do not want to be breathing all ya’ll randos exhaled air.
I have one half-vaxxed kid and one age-ineligible-for-vax kid and planned to remain masked in stores. When I went out on Monday of this week I would say 90%+ people in stores were still masked. When I went out yesterday (WITH younger child) I would say less than 50%, plus comments from The UnMasked, plus grateful and Meaningful Looks from store staff that are still masked. Ugh people.
Exactly this. I have a 15yr old 1/2 vax, 11 yr old not eligible. We, as a family, will continue to wear a mask bc our 11 yr old feels more comfy with it. This whole pandemic has given me a true glance into humanity and it shows, to me, a sad sad state of humans overall.
Swistle, omg, this post filled me with abject horror. THE LADY BEHIND YOU IN CHECKOUT, OMG. I am so stressed out to think that we could be returning to this so soon. I have recently felt like we have all done so well adjusting to patiently waiting our turn, it is so distressing to think that we are going to lose that. UGH.
It’s a mixed bag in NYC — I’m still wearing mine indoors (more because I have autoimmune issues) but have seen so many without in grocery store now. It’s very disconcerting, because my brain has been so trained to immediately skirt around those w/o and now not possible. Even in before times I was not too keen on people being up in my grill and I welcomed the social distancing rules….
On the other hand, I was at outdoor farmers market today and everyone still pretty much had masks on.
So truly a mixed bag.
Swistle I just want you to know one of your earliest grocery store reports was SO helpful to me — I was so anxious about going to store (but didn’t have choice) and I used your examples (phone in pocket, etc.) to make a template for myself on how to accomplish this w/o dissolving into a puddle of anxiety. Your blog has been a lifeline for me, especially during the darkest days. Thank you for being here!
This also drives me nuts because there are people at risk who *can’t* be vaccinated due to various medical issues and there are people who have lower immune responses to the vaccine due to immunosuppressant medication, and the way to keep those people safe is for everyone else to 1. be vaccinated and 2. keep wearing masks. So by dropping all those practices that protect others from the unvaccinated and from the small number of vaccinated-breakthrough asymptomatic cases, we’re collectively making it unsafe for an at-risk wedge of the population to emerge from their hermitage and pick out their own avocado for the first time in a year and some change, *just* before it was probably safe enough for them to do those minor but delightful things. AUGH.
(and that’s before we take into account things like “we won’t know that a vaccine-resistant variant shows up until probably at least a couple of weeks after it shows up” and that sort of stuff. Can we maybe just keep wearing our seat belts when it’s not drastically inconvenient to do so?)
Ugh ugh ugh. This sounds deeply unpleasant.
I went canvassing yesterday (a friend of mine is running for the Virginia House of Delegates in the Democratic Primary), fully masked up, staying 6 feet from the door. The folks I spoke with mostly put on their masks. Some didn’t and APOLOGIZED while saying they were vaccinated, and I said, “Hey I’m interrupting YOUR day, which is why I’m masked and also vaccinated, and showing my concern for YOU, you get to be unmasked when a stranger interrupts your day” and there were nods all around and then a discussion of the safest way to vote.
So…Strong Dems who vote in every election still mask up or apologize when they don’t.
I’m sorry that the grocery shoppers are starting to go feral again. I really liked the space we were all giving each other.
We’ve noticed the same here. The CDC really botched this one – as I told my husband I do NOT trust that all those reckless, mask-less people are vaccinated.
I’ve been calling my local stores and asking what their current mask policy is. In the cases where they are allowing unmasked folks back in, I’ve been letting them know that I’m not going to be comfortable shopping there until they add a fully masked morning hour, kind of like the old senior hours, for immunocompromised folks and others who aren’t comfortable otherwise. (Will it change anything? Probably not, but maybe if they get the same message over and over again.)
And in the cases that are still requiring masks, I let them know how appreciative I am– after one employee told me that they’re getting a lot more calls from “the other side”, I feel like it’s worth speaking up just so they know “my side” is out here too.
So I live in Houston, where our governor is actively trying to kill everyone. Our county has a mask mandate that is no longer enforceable thanks to the governor, but I noticed over the weekend that while many businesses no longer have a sign stating masks are required, about 75% of the customers and 100% of the employees were still masked. Our church is still requiring masks and will probably do so for the next month or two at least.
Also, your grocery store sounds horrible! Did you go on a weekday or on a weekend? Sunday afternoon is the most crowded time at “my” store and I can’t go then or else I simmer in a slow rage at the people who bring their entire family along to shop.
I went to the store Friday morning because I had time to kill before an appointment. Although I’m fully vaxxed, I have no intention of removing my mask in a store anytime soon. About halfway through, I realized people seemed to be going all over the place, and I looked down and realized they had removed the one-way aisle markers. Which a lot of people didn’t pay attention to, anyway, but it was definitely worse. As I was bagging, the couple who had come to check out behind me got up to the cashier and proudly proclaimed they were “going mask free for the first time” I only HOPE it’s because they’re vaccinated. I agree, it was unsettling and disappointing.
I hope this comes off the way I mean it. I am a (capital r) Rule (capital f) Follower. When we were instructed to stay home and save lives, I did (gladly). I did grocery pick up and tipped generously or ordered on amazon/target. When we were instructed to wear masks and socially distance, I did. I only went out (other than very distant outdoor exercise) for medical appointments (my daughter fell out off a tree and broke her arm needing surgery/pins/therapy/follow ups) and grocery pick up. I wore a mask happily. I washed my hands. I covered my face. I practiced with the kids. I drove the kids to hybrid school and we practiced proper mask usage and how to assert yourself politely (Please cover your nose. I’ll get closer when you do., etc). I saw my parents in their garage, masked with the doors open and space heaters at Christmas with distance between us. I suspended all travel (we saw no other relatives the whole time). I waited until the vaccine was available for my health status and age group and got it as soon as I could. As soon as my kids are old enough, I will vaccinate them.
So here is my (completely respectful, non argumentative, totally trying to understand) question: If I am vaccinated and the CDC has said it was ok, isn’t ok to go to a store that has lifted the mask mandate without a mask if I’m fully vaccinated? I was in the outdoor section of Home Depot and decided to go unmasked and bought my plants. The cheerful clerked chirped about being so happy to be vaccinated because it’s so freeing to see faces of the people she’s helping. I truly didn’t think I was doing anything wrong. Was I?
Hi! I’m also vaccinated and an RN, and no, I don’t think you did anything wrong. My personal argument for continuing to mask/social distance inside is that I live in an area with a lot of anti-maskers and anti-vaxxers and I don’t know who is REALLY vaccinated and doing the right thing (like you!) and who is simply using the new recommendations as a cover. I just saw an article that said many non-vaxxed people are saying, “I identify as vaccinated” and getting a free pass and who knows if that’s true? but I personally know people who would do that. Since I saw many non-maskers during mask-enforced times, I can only assume that those non-maskers would take advantage of the new regulations.
Among my huge healthcare organization, the vaccine is currently 93% effective (the rate changes daily with new cases) and I’m not willing to take the chance, for myself, my family, or others who are unable (or, sigh, even unwilling) to be vaccinated. So I eye all indoor, unmasked people with suspicion. Is this right? I don’t know! We’re in unsure times. I can’t ask everyone for their vaccination card (CAN I??). So I – and, I suspect, Swistle – am erring on the side of caution.
I think your post was an A+ in terms of being kind and generous and honestly trying to understand. I hope mine is the same, because I have the same intent!
Thank you, sincerely, for your kind and thorough reply. It has given me a lot to consider.
As a rule follower, I was always surprised to see unmasked people here and there, but since I did not go out much, I did not see them much. Also, if I was out, I was concentrating on keeping kids from touching their faces and fidgeting with their masks (especially my arm breaker) so it is entirely possible many more people were maskless than I noticed.
I’ll go back to wearing a mask always (instead of usually) and hope the vaccine rate improves. I really appreciate your kind explanation and that you recognize I was not trying to debate anything that it feels like Swistle’s comment crew agrees on (vaccines are good/masks are good/pretending you are vaccinated is ludicrous).
Do you have any links to info I could send my brother? I think he would be very interested in this kind of information. I will try to find some myself, but I always find nurses to have good, accessible information. (My mom was a labor and delivery nurse her whole career.)
Again, thank you for your reply!
As a person with a family who is 3/4 vaccinated – with the final member not eligible to be vax’d yet this situation makes me feel like when I did track back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. when running sprints my coach would get worked up when people eased up just before the finish line. Sprint all the way to the end! Don’t slow down just before the race is done! Etc. Would it have been so bad if we’d just waited until kids were eligible to be vaccinated before saying no masks were required indoors for vaccinated folks? Heck we could have at least waited until the most recent class (12-15 year olds) had a hot second to get vaccinated. If we have some big surge and shut down again before my Youngest has a chance to go to school full time for the first time since March 2020 I am going to be so pissed off. She’s and her friends have been so great about masking and being responsible and living with online school for a year and now only part time school for the rest of this school year. I just want her and kids her age and younger to get a damned break.
I’m still doing groceries for pick-up, but am struggling with a similar sort of situation.
My kid started back at daycare last week, despite her daycare jumping on our state’s “no masks for kids!” guidance. They are also not requiring masks of vaccinated adults, per state/CDC guidance, with masking/unmasking being done on the honor system. The local case/infection rate numbers are not as good as I’d like, but they’re decent and continuing in the right direction.
A number of teachers are wearing masks, which is in line with what the school reported of their own vaccination percentages. A very scant handful of parents are wearing masks. With the exception of my kid and one other kid, no kids are starting the day with masks on. My kid has had hers off by the end of the day 2/3 of the days she’s been back.
The local vaccination data says that 73.4% of the county over the age of 12 has received at least 1 dose.
I would be perfectly fine with my continuing to wear a mask for pick up/drop off for the sake of setting an example for my kid. I want her to wear a mask: there is no vaccine option for her yet. But I’m starting to worry that the other parents and the teachers are going to think I’m some sort of anti-vax person if I keep it up. I’m more than 2 weeks post-second dose, so– I’m pretty pro-vax.
This whole situation is so weird and frustrating. I hate that they dropped the mask requirements for kids here. I hate that we’re on the honor system for vaccination status. At least when people were wearing masks, I knew to keep my distance from the unmasked/poorly masked. And I could know that the message I was sending with my properly-worn mask was in line with my status as a do-the-right-thing type.
I hated it in the before times when people would crowd me at the conveyor checkbelt at the store! Personal space, people!
My current “people want to think that things are totally going to be normal from now on” fret has to do with my yoga studio. Up to this week, they were still offering about half of the classes with a Zoom option. But also in the last couple of weeks, I have been the only person on Zoom while the rest of the class is in studio.
So! Today they sent out an email indicating that they would be cutting the number of classes offered on Zoom and that they would be canceling any Zoom option if fewer than 3 people sign up.
They also said:
“At this time, [redacted[ Yoga is choosing to follow CDC guidelines for studio mask requirements. This means masks are optional for fully vaccinated individuals anytime in the studio. As we have done our best to foster a community of mutual trust and respect, this policy will be based on the Honor System. [redacted] Yoga will continually strive for the highest standards of health and safety for our team and students. We ask for your assistance in keeping yourself and others safe and healthy during these unprecedented times and in dealing with Covid-19. We look forward to continuing to provide a safe and healthy yoga environment to our beloved yoga community.”
So okay, you’re going to cancel my Zoom class if 2 more people also don’t want to take it on Zoom. I understand it is difficult to offer two different class modalities – heck, my spouse the college professor did that all Fall, with half the class on Zoom and half in the classroom. But given that I’m now likely to be the only person wanting Zoom in the first place, that feels like you’re forcing me back to the studio or there will be no yoga for me at all. But…I don’t know every person in the yoga studio, and I don’t have any basis to believe that the “Honor System” would mean that every maskless person was vaccinated.
If they really wanted to adhere to “the highest standards of health and safety for our team and students” then they would either require proof of vaccination status (unlikely to happen in my red state), require masking in class (they already rejected that too), or continue to offer Zoom classes for those of us who are cautious.
(ugh, sorry this is so long)