Hi Swistle,
I love your blog! As a fellow baby-name enthusiast I’m surprised at how hard I find naming my own babies to be, though. I have one son, Everett, who we call Ev most of the time. I’m now expecting another baby in January. (We’re keeping the gender a surprise.) Our last name is P0tter.
We are pretty set on our boy names, but while brainstorming baby girl names, I’ve returned again to the same or similar names many times. None have really felt exciting to me or like The One–maybe because I’ve been thinking about this too long! The names on my list are:
Nina
Lila
Isla
Annabel (family name but my enthusiasm for this one is waning)As I mentioned all of these have been on my list for a long time. I’d say in general they are representative of our style for girls–feminine, classic but not necessarily traditional. (I also love nature names but feel those would be better in a middle slot.)
But I’ve just recently thought of a new-to-me name that I’m excited about: Romy
I really like it! I can see it on a little girl, a teenager, and an adult woman with many different careers. I think it’s feminine though my husband (who also likes it) says it feels a bit unisex to him. (Generally I’m not into unisex names.) But I’m nervous about it being a flash-in-the-pan choice for me. I guess I’ve been thinking about it so much I just don’t trust my instincts right now (plus, hormones).
Would love your thoughts on the name Romy and if it seems like an outlier, and general advice or assurances about knowing when a name is right.
Thank you!
It is so hard to know if a name will endure or if it’s a passing enthusiasm. I’d love to say that if you give the name to a child, that will cement it into place: even if the name WOULD HAVE been a passing enthusiasm, using it on a child locks it in. And I do think that’s USUALLY the case—but we’ve heard too many stories of name regret to count on it as a sure thing.
There are two rules of thumb I used to figure this out for my own babies’ names. The first was to give it the literal test of time: there were plenty of names that I liked for a few hours or a few days or a couple of weeks, but far fewer that endured. This test doesn’t work if you think of a name a week before your due date, but in this case you have a few months. I would just let the name simmer and see if your feelings for it grow stronger or weaker.
The second rule of thumb I used is the one you mention: I’d check to see if the name was similar to other names that had endured for me, or if it was an outlier. For years and years, the same names would appear on any baby name list I made: Elizabeth, Margaret, Clarissa, Clara, Josephine, Eloise, Eliza, etc. If I suddenly had a passion for the name Genevieve or the name Emerson, putting it with the others could give me a fairly good idea of whether I was looking at a commitment or a fling: Genevieve fits, but Emerson does not.
This isn’t to say that an outlier can’t turn out to be The One, or that you should ignore your actual feelings: that is, I wouldn’t say to myself, “The name Emerson doesn’t fit with the other names on my list, so despite my ever-increasing feelings of love, I must rule it out.” No. But I have found that IN GENERAL, a name that doesn’t go well with my Enduring Favorites is a name that is more LIKELY to turn out to be a passing crush. And since I wanted four-or-so children, and one of my naming preferences is for their names to go well together, this rule of thumb also helped me avoid painting myself into a corner: if I’d chosen an outlier name such as Emerson for a firstborn, I would have felt a little stuck.
So let’s look at your list: Nina, Lila, Isla, Annabel-but-enthusiasm-waning. The first three are very similar to each other, especially Lila and Isla. I’d say Romy isn’t a clash, but it’s not a match either. It’s not a style fit with Everett, either, but it’s so common for parents to have different naming preferences for boys/girls, that kind of thing doesn’t catch my attention the way it does with two sisters or two brothers.
Are you planning more children? If so, play around with sibling group names, using the names from your lists to name subsequent children. Whether names “go together” or not is so subjective. What do you think of Everett, Romy, and Nina? Everett, Romy, and Lila? Everett, Romy, Oliver, and Isla? And so on. If the combinations all sound good to you, then Romy is less likely to be an outlier for you, and unlikely to leave you feeling stuck.
And I’d love to hear commenters’ stories of how they figured it out, as well as specific examples of times a name was/wasn’t a passing fancy.
Name update:
Hi Swistle,
I wrote a couple months ago wondering about how to tell if a name is just a passing fancy–specifically, I was newly smitten with the name Romy.
Well, we did end up having a girl! And it took us a full week to finally choose her name. I was actually thinking I liked Nina best, but when she was born she looked nothing like a Nina. We tried Romy out (we both still liked it a lot) and Sylvie and even Winona for a few hours. But we finally chose a name we thought suited her best, and which actually was another recent addition to the name list, very different in style than I would have normally been drawn to. Ultimately it just felt right–which is the feeling I wanted while name hunting before she was born, but probably isn’t possible (for me at least!) until the baby arrives!
Here she is: Georgia Francesca. We love her name! Thanks to you and your readers for your help.
Best,
Krista
I question how you pronounce it- is it Raw-mee or Row-mee?
From your list my favorite is Nina- just because that is a classic name but isn’t popular and is one of those names that stands the test of time.
What about Romilly with a nickname of Romy? I think Everett and Romilly pairs well!
For what it’s worth, I know an Everett and his little sister is named Eden!
Another suggestion would be Sabrina nicknamed Nina: Everett and Sabrina
*I would consider going back over your list- perhaps even making a new list since you say these names have been on your list for a while and see if more Romy-style names strike your fancy. If after doing that you still can’t get Romy out of your head then I say go for it!
I agree with Swistle that it’s not a clash, but not a harmonious fit with the other names in your style either.
I got curious about the derivation of the name and looked it up. Seems it’s a diminutive of Rosemary, which makes me wonder if you could use Rosemary, with the nickname Romy. Rosemary definitely fits in the classic feminine box and it’s underused in my opinion. I’ve always thought it was a lovely name.
I am liking this more and more. Everett and Rosemary, Ev and Romy.
Oh wow, never thought of Romy is a nickname for Rosemary, but I love it!
It clashes for me in a big way. I am not sure how to even pronounce it ot what gender, time period, or category I would put it in. I would probably pick one of your original choices and put Romy in the middle name spot. Also, for the first time ever just met an Annabel the other day and it fit her to a T and was just a breath of fresh air.
I don’t see it as a total clash with your names even though it is more unisex sounding than your other choices, I think a Romy and an Isla would be cute together. I love the suggestion of using it as a nickname for a Rosemary or the like. I’d say to keep it along with your list of “constants” and mull it over for the next couple of months.
It made me think of the movie: Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion (1997). I don’t even think I’ve seen the movie, but that’s the one reference I have for the name.
I do like Romy best as a nickname for Romilly or Rosemary. But I think it does work as a stand alone too. I agree that the name ages well and would be cute on a baby and toddler, but them would work well as an older girl and adult.
I would pronounce the name Row-me.
I also immediately thought of Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion- in part because that is literally the only time I have heard that name. I am also not entirely sure it is a positive connection. The film is funny, but meant to be roasting the unmotivated and somewhat ditzy title characters.
That movie was my first thought too!
I also thought of the movie, which made me recognize Romy as a female name. I also know a super cute girl dog named Romy (after the movie), which might be biasing me toward saying it would be a great baby name.
To answer the main question, I don’t think Romy really fits. I think Rosemary nn Romy is better though.
As for your list… Nina is one of those names I wish more people considered (and used!) it’s so lovely and classic and timeless. I would swoon for a baby Nina! Lila and Isla and Annabel are all lovely choices too but I’m pushing hard for Nina. Nina Annabel sounds great too
I have an Everett!
Romy does not read as unisex to me at all (reads as 100% girl) but I think that is because my only name association is Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion. This is neither positive or negative for me (maybe vaguely positive? I liked that movie), but it is very strong, since it is the only time I’ve encountered the name.
It doesn’t seem like a wild outlier, except with Annabel. I say think on it a bit more, and if your love grows, use it.
I think you will know in a month if it is a fleeting love or the real thing. I named two of my kids names I wasn’t sure about – however my love for them has firmed up my love for their names. I can’t separate the name and my kid now that they are here.
If you think you will have another kid, I think Romy is best for you as a nickname. Rosemary, Ramona, or the initials RM. Then you have the flexibility of going more traditional with #3. If this is it, try the Starbucks test, live with the name for a bit and if it is the top when she is here go for it.
Oh how i love Ramona! Ramona and Everett? Love, love, love. Romy and Ev? Also love. Maybe Ev morphs into a Rett later? Romy and Rett = love.
I think Rosemary is quite nice also, though. I don’t think you can go wrong here.
Question-asker here: This is really helpful to hear! I think part of my problem is general indecision so I like knowing it’s possible love for a name can cement over time :) I’ll do what you and others suggest and keep thinking on it for a while, and maybe try it out in real life too.
For my middle kid we went with a name that had two possible nicknames- one I loved and one I hated. He is two now and calls himself the nickname I hated- hated is past tense because I think it is so cute when he says it that even I have started calling him by it.
I know there is name regret out there, but my experience is the opposite.
You can get name regret over a name you have always loved, too. Most of the time I’m fine with Kerry, but once in a while, especially when dealing with older members from my side of the family, i get sort of weird about our son’s name. This is a name I’ve found charming since I was 7 or 8. However, if there were no Kerrys in my spouse’s family, I’d never have dared use it and it is a bit of an outlier for me. (In general, I prefer classic Anglo/Biblical names. )
Still, I suspect that if your love doesn’t fade in a month or so (and hopefully you have the time) then it’s not just a passing fancy.
I was going to recommend she consider Ramona as well. I think it is a beautiful, underused, clearly female name and Romy is a lovely nickname. I don’t think Romy feels like a complete name next to Everett.
Also–I have an Annabel, so I am biased in favor of that name. :)
I agree that Romy (RAW-MEE?) isn’t a match with Everett or the other girl names on your list. I do like the suggestion of having it as a nickname for Romilly or Rosemary. Everett, Rosemary and Annabelle would be lovely. I personally prefer Lila off of your list we have 3 daughters Lilla, Vivivenne and Tess and Everett is our top boy pick for #4 so I think they pair perfectly.
Romy to me fits in the same box as Rory. A little unisex sounding, but would expect a girl. It doesn’t seem totally out of place with Everett. I’m loving the suggestion of Rosemary with nn Romy. If I try the name on myself, even if I went by Romy nearly all the time, I would still like to have Rosemary, as a traditional name and backstory.
I knew a Romilly in high school, so that’s what I think of when I hear the name Romy. I didn’t think of the movie at all.
Oh, I pronounce Romy like the city of Rome, with an ee at the end.
I agree Romy isn’t an exact fit with your existing list, but it’s not a huge clash to me, either. As another commenter said, I wouldn’t exactly call it unisex because I would only ever be expecting a girl Romy, and yet it doesn’t read as a 100% “girly” name. It’s like Sloane or Lane – tailored, but still reads all-girl to me because I’ve only overwhelmingly seen girls given those names. I agree with Swistle that your best bet here is to give it time, and see if it still feels like a name you love in a few weeks or months. For what it’s worth, I do think that Romy and Everett sound nice together.
During my 2nd pregnancy at about 9 weeks – before we knew the sex of the baby – I came across a new-to-me name that I immediately fell in love with, and it is the name we ultimately used and I still adore it. But, it did fit in well with my general naming likes already, so it isn’t quite the same situation as you.
I don’t mind Romy, but from your list I think Lila is perfect with Everett.
When I saw the name, my mind immediately went to Remy, which is a pretty popular NN for Remmington and other boy names.
Our story: I had a good loooong list of names for baby #2, our girl, and no common ground with hubby. All short, one or two syllable, names like Paige and Eden. Around 6 mos, he suggested a total outlier that I “didn’t hate.” While I couldn’t commit to giving up my favorite names, I didn’t rule his out and let it simmer. We went to delivery with my name and his, and guess which won? It just fit her and I love it more than ever now.
Ok well I love Romy (like Rome with an ee)!! And if you still love it in a few months then it’s not an outlier-it’s just that your naming style has diversified. Honestly all name enthusiasts do this right? I stated off deep in Irish heritage names and now I love medieval names and what have you. I think Romy, in particular, is a very flexible name that fits with a lot of different styles as evidenced by the comments above. Ev and Ro would be the cutest. Definitely keep it in the running!
There is a girl in my son’s first grade class named Romy (row me), except with an i instead of y. The name is fine! Obv kids of that age don’t know about the movie. I was in high school when they movie came out but have never seen it. Keep pondering the name, and if you choose to use it, I think all will be fine.
Hi all. Question-asker here! Thanks for your thoughtful comments. I think I’ll do what many of you suggest and continue to think on it and perhaps try it out in real life too. I’ll be sure to update when the baby is here!
Oh, and it’s pronounced ROW-me…yes, like the movie, which I do like, so I don’t mind the association :)
I’m on board with Romy. I think Romy is just fine with Everett! If you do have more children, you’d be on your way to a “nice assortment” set, which is also a pleasing way of coordinating sibling names.
Everett, Romy, and Isla
Everett, Romy, and Stephen
Everett, Romy, and Blake.
Just making stuff up with the last two -but you see how much flexibility Everett and Romy give you?
I agree that Romy as a nickname for Rosemary or Romilly or Ramona would be nice and also that Romy gives me a similar vibe as Sloane or Briar – unfrilly but not plain girl’s name.
Your other names are terrific choices, too, but Romy is underused, so I’m rooting for Romy!
I have an Everett too!
I would absolutely love to know your boy name choice! Would you mind sharing? I’m expecting baby 2 soon and I have all the girls names on my list that are on yours as well. Completely stuck on boys names though!!
I think Romy is great, and not a style clash with Everett that would ever made me pause. I would do what your planning and see how you feel in a month or two. Also I think using the name for a few days when referring to the baby can be helpful!
Good luck!!! Can’t wait to hear what you pick.
Hi! For a boy, we like Calvin or possibly just Cal. One thing I learned from the first time around is that I greatly prefer to name the baby what we call them, so even though Cal is technically a nickname we might just go with that instead. I think it stands well on its own, too. This is one reason why going with Rosemary but calling her Romy is hard for me to get behind! But I’ll think about it. I do like Ramona but my husband doesn’t.
I think naming what you intend to call them is wonderful! I think if you love Romy in a month, that seals the deal. I don’t think it clashes with Ev or anything like that. Of course, style clashes are hard for me to see unless they are really obvious like, Guiniviere and Nevaeh or something, haha.
I *LOVE* Romy. I do think of the movie, which I’ve never seen, but maybe we all think of it because it was heavily advertised or because we’ve always loved names and it was such an intriguing one to hear. Definitely pronounce Roe-Me. I think it absolutely fits with your name choices, and trumps them (for me) because it’s so much more uncommon. I also love the name Rosemary, and would have liked to have used it myself, except that I have a relative with the name and wasn’t interested in naming a baby after her (nothing wrong with her, just not someone I share a close bond with). As for name regret, I think you’ll know before January if you truly love the name. I think it’s a great one!
Oh, I love it! I do think of it as a diminutive of Rosemary, but I also think Romy itself is wearable for life. Not of any consequence, but it’s fairly familiar both in the UK and NZ as an established name (in my experience). And all girl!
I love Romy (Row-mee) and I don’t think it’s too much of a clash with Everett, especially as you said you call him mostly Ev. Ev and Romy? Nice! I wonder about Roma (Roh-mah)? That’s almost the same name, letters wise, but also really different.
The way I tell if I really like a name is if I have reasons for defending it. After one boy and two girls, my girl name for my next baby was Felicity. I wasn’t sure if I loved it or what, frankly I had named three kids in like five years and I just couldn’t tell anymore. My husband mentioned one night that he thought we should give the baby a ‘normal’ middle name if we went with Felicity, in case she wanted to ‘go by’ that and I nearly killed him, what the hell? I said Felicity isn’t that weird a name, it’s not common but it’s not WEIRD. It’s a saint’s name, which we like, it’s spelled like it sounds, etc etc etc and then I knew I really liked it.
Best of luck!
Oooh, I like Romy. But if I were a Romy, I’d also want a full name as a choice to use more formally. Rosemary is lovely! So is Romilly. I’m fond of Rosemary Annabel, though the initials aren’t fantastic (I think of a rap sheet…) Rosemary Lila?
I think there are a number of rules or preferences you can try to follow (how siblings names sound together, different initial for each child, honoring relative, number of syllables etc), but ultimately I think it’s most important to choose a name you and your husband like.
For us, our first two kids (boy then girl) were easy to name. But then came number three…who wasn’t named until the birth certificate form was due. Looking back, I realize how crazy I was trying to find the perfect fit – in the end we went with a name because we both liked it, despite it breaking a couple other “rules.” Now having the baby with the name, I love it even more.
Romy is lovely. I think it fits well with Everett.
Love, Love, Love the idea of Rosemary, Romilly, or Ramona nn Romy. It goes great with Everett nn Ev
I just remembered that I had a classmate in college named Romina (Row-Mee-Nah) which lends itself easily to Romy (or Romi). Romina P0tter is pretty great.
That is the cutest little girl I have ever seen, just sayin’. :) Georgia suits her so well and man is she adorable.
Thank you so much!
She is adorable! Great name! Congratulations!