Please help! My brother & his wife are expecting their first baby, a girl, in mid November and while I couldn’t be happier for them or more excited to be an aunt again I…Well, I don’t even know how to describe how I feel about the name they’ve settled on.
Felony Fever Vice. 3 bad things, all of which are not names. Why…How…and OH GOD WHY?
I really wish I could tell you it’s all a joke, but no.
Any suggestions on a NICE way I can try to talk them out of this travesty? Any suggestions for names with a similar sound to Felony, but without the bad connotations? When I asked my SIL why Felony, she said she “just really likes the sound and flow”. Please help my help them find something with the same “sound & flow”, preferably something that wont scar the kid for life!
There are two questions here: (1) Is there a way to talk them out of it? (2) Are there any other names that have the sound and flow of Felony?
The answer to the first question is “Probably not.” If two English-speaking people, presumably of sound minds, are considering the name Felony Fever Vice for their baby, we have to assume that they understand the meanings of those words and that they are nevertheless willing to go ahead with it. No matter how nicely or gently you bring it up, it’s unlikely they’re going to smack their foreheads and say, “OMG, we never THOUGHT of that! You’re RIGHT! Those names DO sound kind of negative!” What would happen instead is that you’d get in trouble for criticizing their name choices, and they’d remember it forever.
But let’s move on to the second question anyway: Are there any other names that have the sound and flow of Felony? The name that springs immediately to mind is Melanie, which has almost exactly the same sound and flow. Stephanie, Bethany, Natalie, and Tiffany are other examples of the same flow—but my guess is that they’d prefer something more unusual. Perhaps they would like Amity or Briarley or Clarity or Liberty or Verity.
[Update! 11-17-2008 Jane writes:
Dear Swistle, thank you so much!
After gently suggesting some of the names you listed to my SIL she fell in love a pair of them, therefore putting the much celebrated kibosh on Felony Fever! (and yes, that REALLY WAS the name they had picked out for the daughter, no joke. 2 years ago my brother’s best friend named his little girl Lethal Cashmere, nickname Cash. My Bro thought it was, quote, “genius” & I think he wanted to match his friend in the crazy/weird name category)
Anyway, SIL gave birth yesterday to a perfectly healthy, beautiful baby girl. Her name? Thanks to Swistle it’s Verity Clarity Vice (Bro wouldn’t give up the Vice part even though SIL finally put her foot down about the first two names)! While still not my cup of tea when it comes to baby names, it’s a million trillion times better than Felony Fever!
So thank you Swistle, you saved my poor sweet niece from a real horror of a name!]