Kristi writes:

I stumbled on your blog today as I continued to work on a name for our baby boy. He’s expected in the next 3 to 4 weeks and we’ve always had a name locked down by now, so I’m getting antsy!

Our first child is also a boy, and his name is John Fred Slemko, but we usually call him Jack. (I often call him John, but he’s 4 and he typically associates it with being in trouble!). John and Fred were my husband’s grandfathers. His uncle, and a very close family friend, were also named John. We elected to call him Jack in day-to-day life because my husband’s sister was also married to a John (they’ve since divorced) and I liked that Jack was still a strong sounding name.

Our daughter is Georgia Adelaide Maria. I’m not big on giving three names, but she’s named for my grandmothers (Georgia and Adelaide) and also for my husband’s grandmother who passed away 5 days before she was born. I was very close to my Gramma Georgia and that name has been on my list since I was 16 years old; I realize it is becoming more popular now but it was chosen for long ago to honor her.

Our third child is also a girl and we found it more difficult to name her. (I really believed we’d only have 2 children, so we used up all the names we loved that also had family significance, on the first 2 children!). After a long debate, we chose Elizabeth (it was my favorite name as a child, always given to my dolls; and it was the middle name of my best friend in high school who died just before graduation). For a middle name, we chose Alice (which was my husband’s grandmother’s name, as well as the name of my dad’s sister who passed away at birth). We wrestled with naming her Elizabeth because we don’t like any of the shortened forms like Liz, Lizzy, Beth, etc and wondered how we’d do when people tried to call her by a nickname. My dad has tested us from the beginning, calling her pretty much every possible nickname until my brother told him off one day and said it was disrespectful.

Now we’re completing our family and have learned “it’s a boy!”. With the traditional names of our other three children, I don’t think we can throw in a Scout, Skylar, etc. (Not that we want to, but I’m just saying that I think the baby’s name should “fit” with his siblings). But more than that, we’d like a name with some family significance since the other three’s names are steeped in it. I was content to put significance on the middle name only (my maiden name is Palmer, so we agreed to use it as the middle name) but the names we like for first names are not resonating with me now the way they originally did. For instance – we’ve always liked William (but intended to call him William or Will, not Billy, Willy, etc). Now I wonder if it sounds strange to say “Jack and Will” together (sounds like Jack and Jill). For example, “oh, Jack and Will are at the rink with their Dad”. We also like Eric, but it rhymes with my husband’s name (Derek) and it doesn’t feel as “strong” or traditional as John/Jack. Another one we both agree on is Henry, but it’s relatively new to our lists and I’m not sure I like the “John – Henry” combination. There are lots of other names I like, including Nicholas, Robert, Edward, Benjamin – but I like the full name better than the short forms, and with the battles we’ve faced with Elizabeth’s name, I’m not sure I’m up for doing that again!

So, suddenly I’m wondering if naming him Palmer as a FIRST name is our best choice? I know it’s not common (I consider that a good thing) but it sounds strong to me, and definitely reflects our penchant for choosing names that honor our family heritage.

Thanks in advance!

 
To me, there are two issues involved with the name Palmer. The first hadn’t occurred to me until we had a post that generated some interesting thoughts in the comments section about the name Palmer—among them that some find the name to have a bit of a suggestive sound.

The second issue is that it is a break with the style of the names of your first three children: three traditional names with long roots, and then a surname name. Those two styles are not as incompatible as some (for example, it would be harder to go from traditional names to noun names such as Storm), but it’s something I’d want to think out ahead of time and make sure I was fine with it. I do think that as the number of children grows, issues of style compatibility get a little looser—but it’s too bad that it would be just one child with the different style. The fact that it’s your maiden name makes it tie in with traditional names much, much better than if it were a surname name chosen with no family connection—but it’s still similar to adding a Skylar. But one of my very favorite family name ideas is to use the mother’s maiden name as a first name. In short: I’m torn.

If I were you, since I too like sibling names to go together, I’d choose a nice strong traditional-name family name for the first name, and I’d use Palmer as the middle name. The John Henry issue wouldn’t have occurred to me at all (especially if you mostly use Jack), and Henry is my favorite from the list. Henry Palmer Slemko; John/Jack, Georgia, Elizabeth, and Henry.

I can’t tell if I would have noticed “Jack and Will” or not, but I THINK not; if it bugged me with time, I think I’d get in the habit of saying “Jack and William” or “Will and Jack.” That’s my second favorite, mostly because I’m not sure if the L and M sounds in all three of his names is a plus or a minus. William Palmer Slemko; John/Jack, Georgia, Elizabeth, and William.

I agree that Eric sounds less traditional/rooted than John/Jack, though I think it does work if it’s a family name; with the second complication of rhyming with his dad’s name, that would probably be enough for me to be inclined to cross it off the list.

Name update! Kristi writes:

Just a quick note to let you know our son William Palmer $lemko arrived on May 19!

We went back and forth between William and Henry as first names after receiving your thoughts and the blog comments… ultimately we decided based on which nickname was acceptable to us.  “Will” was ok for us, but “Harry” was not.

John/Jack, Georgia and Elizabeth are smitten with their baby brother.  Many people have commented on what a classic, coordinated set of names we’ve chosen.  Thanks again for your help!

M. writes:

Our second daughter will be arriving at the beginning of June – my problem is I don’t like any names. I scour baby-name lists for some unseen gem that will scream “this is the one”. I read TV credits looking for something perfect. If I happen to be on a new blog with a baby or young girl, I’ll search for her name. Until this point, I’ve come up empty handed and with nine weeks left, I’m starting to get concerned.

Naming our first daughter was hard, we only really decided (from a short-list) the night before she arrived. We named her Gillian Leah (nn, Gigi) – which of course, now I adore. I’m a bit of a type A personality, who is looking for perfection (hah!) the second time around as well.

The only name I find myself coming back to is Emma – by all accounts, Emma is extremely high on all current popular name lists, and quite frankly that’s what’s holding me back. I want something strong and feminine, yet not so widely used.

My husband is not sold on Emma, because with our last name (Miles), he says there are too many m’s happening. With that said, as a whole he is sort of ambivalent towards names and I’m sure I’ll be able to convince him once I get my heart set on something.

So my questions are:

1. Should I throw my rule of no-top-100-names out the window and call her Emma? Or should I concentrate on something else?

2. If we call her something as popular as Emma, what perfect, non-expected but not completely unusual, middle name could I use?

Here are alternate names I’ve jotted down as potentials over the last 20 weeks:

Lauren Whitney
Ivy Jane
Hannah Lily
Chloe Willow
Ellie Georgia (Georgia is a family name)
Ruby
Violet
Sidney (my husband’s only suggestion)
Lily
Emilia
Mia
Laura
Alison
Lucy
Margo
Plum (for a middle name)

Please help!!

 
If I’m reading correctly, the name Gillian didn’t seem like the clear perfect choice before you chose it, but only afterward. This can be good news or bad news for a Type A personality trying to repeat a success: on the one hand, a name that just seems like “the best of the short list” (as opposed to clearly the perfect choice) ended up being perfect last time, and may end up being perfect a second time; on the other hand, it means the name that will end up feeling perfect later might not pop out at you, and you may have to narrow it down to one and hope for the best.

As you know, I’m in favor of allowing other considerations to trump concerns about popularity. If one name DOES stand out to you, and if you consistently like it better than the others, and if you go into the choice braced for the popularity of the name, I think you’re likely to be happy with it.

One thing going for Emma is that there’s only one spelling: a name such as Chloe can hang out on the Social Security charts looking like a #9, but by the time you add in all the girls named Khloe, Cloe, Kloe, Cloey, etc., it’s much more common than expected.

There is, though, the issue of people looking for other ways to get to Emma, and so names that SOUND like Emma may be more common than expected. There could be an Emery, an Emmeline, an Emerson, an Emilia, an Emlyn, and maybe even an Emerald, all going by Emma or Emmie. And in fact, that’s one of my first suggestions: to go for a less common name that gives you the nickname Emma or Emmie. Emmeline is one of my own favorites. Gillian and Emmeline; Gigi and Emmie.

Or you could give her a double first name, to reduce the commonness of her name. Emma June, for example (for her birth month—or Emma May if she’s early, although that adds even more M-sound).

If you decide not to go with Emma, I suggest Gemma. It’s similar to Emma, but the Social Security Administration has it at #449 in 2010. It may, however, have too many sounds in common with Miles, Gillian, and Gigi.

This is more of a long shot, but do you like the name Imogen? It has some sounds in common with Emma, but it’s much less common and I love the interesting mix of sophisticated and whimsical. For me, it shares that category with Gillian. Gillian and Imogen; Gigi and Immy/Midge. But again, there may be too many sounds in common: the soft G, the N ending, the short-I sound; it’s almost a rearranged version of Gillian.

Another of that category is Beatrix. Gillian and Beatrix; Gigi and Bee/Trixie.

I have Emma and Anna filed together in my mind: they’re similar-type palindromes, and they’re both sweet and simple. Anna would be great, but/and I think Annabel would go particularly well with Gillian. Gillian and Annabel; Gigi and Annie.

Elodie is so surprisingly underused—though maybe that will change as more and more people look for ways to get Ellie. Gillian and Elodie; Gigi and Ellie.

If you do go with Emma, I love the idea of choosing a really fun middle name.

Emma Anastasia Miles
Emma Calliope Miles
Emma Carrington Miles
Emma Clementine Miles
Emma Francesca Miles
Emma Hermione Miles
Emma Lavender Miles (initials spell ELM)
Emma Lissandra Miles (initials spell ELM)
Emma Lorelei Miles (initials spell ELM)
Emma Minerva Miles
Emma Paisley Miles
Emma Penelope Miles
Emma Peregrine Miles
Emma Persephone Miles
Emma Rosabelle Miles
Emma Serenity Miles
Emma Sterling Miles
Emma Waverly Miles
Emma Yeardley Miles

Or do you have a cool family name to put in the middle, or a name of a favorite author/actor/poet, or a name of a city of significance to you, or any names you love but can’t use for some other reason? Or if she’s born in June, she could be Emma June, or Emma Pearl for her birthstone.

From your list, I also really like Ivy Jane and Ellie Georgia (I’d like Ella Georgia even better, but I kind of like the repeating-A ending and I know not everyone does), and also I’d put together Lucy Willow.

Name update! M. writes:

Forty weeks of pregnancy and my husband and I still couldn’t make a final decision on the name until the day before our girl’s arrival.  And with that, we were thrilled to welcome our Ellie Georgia into the world on June 5th.

A huge thanks for the in-depth review and to your readers as well.  Considering we chose not to share any name options with family and friends during pregnancy, all of your input was especially invaluable!

Meisje writes:

I am in hospital with my new baby girl born 14th April. She is my second girl and last of five. Problem is that I was 100% convinced she would be a boy and didn’t prepare properly for girls names, and in the shock and emotion of the moment(I am absolutely overjoyed she is a girl but it’s a big surprise!) I can’t think of a name that fits her. She is so tiny.

She will have blonde hair and blue eyes like her siblings. Their names are Jack, Eve, Grant and Flynn. My partner was an actor and the kids names all trace to actors from bygone eras, although that isn’t essential. Our surname starts with H, with a long ‘a’ sound in it.

My name is foreign, so I like that the children have Anglicised, easy to recognise and spell names. I like the meaning of names too, although this also isn’t really as essential as I used to think it is, but I don’t like names with negative meanings, for example, Claudia means ‘lame’ and Mary means ‘bitter’.

My partner is also pushing me to name her Celeste, which was what we named a baby we lost during pregnancy a few years ago. We named her that after she died, as it means from the stars, or Heavenly, and is the colour blue like her eyes, so we sent her to Heaven with that name,but i dont think it would be her name if she had stayed with us. I like the name, but not in first spot. It is too close. And very different to the others. And doesn’t have a nickname or shorter version.
Middle spot would be a nice honour position, I think. But unless you can help choose the perfect first name, he may get his way!

Names I have considered:
Hope
Tess
Beth
Tia
Anna

But he doesn’t like any of them for various reasons. But he did say this final baby should be my choice as the only name I have chosen so far was my other daughter’s.
Today he says that if I don’t pick one today, he will tell people it is Celeste,
as he cant stand her not having a name. Help!

and

Hi again Swistle. I wrote earlier today about my quandry I have convinced my partner to give me an extra day’s grace for our baby’s name as I told him I had written in asking for help. He is doubtful, but if you can give me any feedback that would be great.
I don’t really want her first name to be Celeste, but I am tired and emotional and don’t seem to be able to do this on my own…..

I hope we can agree on the first point I am going to make, which is that your partner is not the boss of the name. It’s not his right to force you to choose a name quickly to make him more comfortable—or, if you fail to work quickly enough for him, his right to choose the name himself and announce it. I can see how it would be an unsettled feeling to not have the name chosen yet, but many parents have gone days or even weeks before choosing, and no one has chosen a name for them or forced them to use a default name. Give a casual little laugh to the eagerly-waiting friends and family and say, “I know! We’re just having a lot of trouble deciding! We were so sure we were having a boy!,” and it will be nothing but a fun story about her birth. Allow your partner to threaten you with time limits and choose a name you don’t like, and it may become a story that overshadows the joy and surprise of her arrival.

It is neither your job nor my job to race to find your partner a name he likes better than Celeste or else he gets to go ahead and use Celeste despite your wishes. If you don’t want to name your daughter Celeste, the name Celeste is off the table (just as the names you like that he doesn’t like seem to be off the table), and it is his job as well as yours to find other good options from the names that remain.

If the decision has already been made that the choice of this child’s name is up to you, and if your partner will not back up on the pressuring/threatening, give him your favorite name from your own list to use as the default instead of his favorite name. Perhaps he can calm his impatience if he knows the hurry-up default name will be one he won’t like, instead of one you won’t like.

The name of a daughter who died seems like a poor choice for this daughter. Normally when two people share the same name, there is a happy connection, and also an easy way to distinguish the two when necessary for clarity: James and Jimmy, for example, or Big Jim and Little Jim, or “our Jim” and “my grandpa Jim.” In this case, it is hard to think of either a happy connection or an easy way to distinguish them. I’m imagining needing to refer to the first Celeste as “Celeste—I mean the Celeste who died.” Or, I see my automatic categorization as I wrote was “the first Celeste” and “the second Celeste,” which is also unpleasant. Perhaps it would work as a middle name, although if I picture myself in her shoes, I don’t think I’d want that. I think I’d want my own name, just as the other children have their own names.

Since the other children have short, film-related names, could another such name be found for this child? Kate comes to mind: Jack, Eve, Grant, Flynn, and Kate.

Or Mae. Jack, Eve, Grant, Flynn, and Mae.

Or Jane. Jack, Eve, Grant, Flynn, and Jane.

Or Lucy. Jack, Eve, Grant, Flynn, and Lucy.

Or from this list of Old Hollywood baby names:

Audrey
Bette
Clara
Grace (maybe too close to Grant)
Greer (maybe too close to Grant)
Greta (maybe too close to Grant)
Jean
Joan
Lana
Louise
Vivian

Rose would be wonderful too. Jack, Eve, Grant, Flynn, and Rose.

Or Nora. Jack, Eve, Grant, Flynn, and Nora.

Or Claire. Jack, Eve, Grant, Flynn, and Claire.

Or Leigh. Jack, Eve, Grant, Flynn, and Leigh.

Name update! Meisje writes:

She has a name and I love it! And I love you, Swistle, and all your beautiful commenters (although to be honest, I love absolutely everybody now as I am sooooo happy!)

So here’s how it went- after sadly putting aside all the long -a- names that are too similar sounding to our surname (Grace, Kate, Jane, Mae – and I LOVED Mae!) the names which really stuck were Stella, Rose and one last minute suggestion, Ingrid.

The baby’s birth date is the anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic, which is a sad thing, but the main character of the movie is Rose, who SURVIVED, which is a GOOD thing, So I knew I had to use it but……couldn’t get past the Rose and Jack thing. For me it would be like I I had named one of my sons Adam after having my daughter Eve. So I pushed it to middle.

Then I really had to decide between Stella and Ingrid so I put each of them next to the sibling names and, while Stella is ‘prettier’, I felt Jack, Eve, Grant, Flynn and Ingrid made a better Old Hollywood set- and Ingrid is a little nod to my European background as well! The two syllables is ok, as my daughter is often called Evie anyway.

But I wanted to give a little tribute to Celeste, so it became Ingrid Stella Rose. But I had no nickname. Then one of my boys was holding her and I hadn’t told anyone the names I was almost decided upon, and he said “Mummy, she’s such a little flower. Can’t I just call her my little rose?”

So that was that. My baby girl is Ingrid Stella Rose H-, and her nickname (which we will probably call her most of the time) shall be Rosie. Which is perfect! (sister set Evie and Rosie is so sweet, and for her formal name, Ingrid Bergman is so iconic in the Eve Arden, Cary Grant, Errol Flynn and Jack Lemmon/Palance category.)

Thank you again for all your help!

Sara writes:

Hi, my name is Sara and my husband and I are expecting our first baby, a girl!
So I thought baby naming would be easy especially for a girl. Boy was I wrong! Here is our problem, I want to name our baby girl Campbell Elizabeth. Campbell has been a name on my side of the family for generations, but my DH HATES it. He wants to name her Sophia or Paige. I like those names but I love Campbell. One of our friends suggested using the name Sophia Campbell Brannan, but I wasn’t to fond of that. We need your help! Thanks!

 
Normally I think I’d want to start by finding out more about the naming tradition you’d like to follow. In what way has the name Campbell has been in the family? As a girl name? As a boy name? As a surname? Given in a specific pattern (to firstborn daughters, for example), or given sporadically? And so on.

But in this case, your husband hates the name Campbell, and a naming tradition doesn’t trump the other parent’s right to participate in naming the child, so the specifics of the tradition may be moot. Would he be willing to use the name anyway, perhaps with one of the workarounds other families have used with naming traditions, such as going by a nickname (Cammie is sweet, or Bella) or going by the middle name (maybe a middle name of his choice)? If not, I think it would be nice if he would agree to use Campbell as a middle name, if the tradition is important to you, and if his family’s surname will be the child’s surname: then the child will have a family name from each side of her family. Or perhaps he would feel differently about the name Campbell used for a possible future son?

Because this is your first child, and because the names Campbell and Sophia and Paige are very different in style, I’m linking here to Naming Advice for First-Time Parents. If you plan on having more children, and if you’d like the sibling names to coordinate in style, it would be good to spend some time discussing what your joint naming style is. Do you both prefer names more like Sophia, or more like Paige? Do you like names that are more feminine or more unisex? Names that are more common, or less common? Longer, or shorter? Nicknames or no? (Do you want to leave room for him to change his mind on Campbell for a later daughter? Then I would probably go for a name more like Paige rather than a name like Sophia.)

A few names that seem similar to Sophia to me (either in sound or style):

Amelia
Charlotte
Fiona
Josephine
Lila
Rose
Violet

And a few names that seem similar to Paige to me (either in sound or style):

Avery
Darcy
Piper
Reese
Ryleigh
Sage
Sloane
Zoe

Name update! Sara writes:

Hi, I just wanted to let you know that our baby girl Campbell Paige Brannan was born on May 5 and weighed in at 5 pounds 8 ounces. We went into the hospital without a name chosen. When my husband saw her for the first time he immediately said to me “she looks like a Campbell”. So when he agreed on naming her Campbell I decided we could use one of his names and we thought Paige sounded the best! We also loved the idea if the nn Cammie, so we decided to call her that. Thank you for your help! Her name is perfect and so is she.

C. writes:

I just love your blog and can’t resist sending in my quandary any longer! I have four weeks to go and we’re still looking for a name for our baby girl. Our last name is a bit of a mouthful, three syllables starting with “El.” My only concern with matching first/last is that the first name also doesn’t end in an “el” sound, nor do I want a name that also starts with E. Big brother’s name is Field!ng, so I want to avoid F names too. My own name is unique but easily spelled and pronounced, and I have always loved the fact that I have never met another person with my name. I want the same for my children — an unusual name that makes them feel unique, but without the burden of having to constantly tell people how to spell it or feeling too “weird.” I feel like we got that with Field!ng (we also call him Field), but we’re having trouble with a girl! Some names we have thought of:

Names I liked but vetoed for being too popular/trendy:
Violet (love the pretty, old-fashioned girly names)
Pearl (this has a similar theme to the meaning of my own name)
Beatrix/Beatrice
Rosalie

Other names we have talked about:
Lark (Not too sure about the meaning, like the idea of a bird name but not the actual harsh sound of “ark”)
Sonnet (pretty… but weird?)
Lavender (love it…. but is the nickname “Lavvie” too close to lavatory? What other nicknames could you use?)
Tamsin (also interesting but how do you avoid the dated nickname Tammy?)
Dulcet (husband thinks that’s waaaay too out there, but I like the nickname Dulcie)
Linne@
Leatrice
Marigold (again… what nickname do you use here?)
Amoret (not sure people could spell this or figure out what you were saying)
Clover
Leora (maybe a bit too dated)
Lilac (like the idea, but not the pronunciation that rhymes with “sack”)
Araminta (so interesting but just too much of a mouthful!)

I think we’ll probably go with a one-syllable middle like Pearl or Leigh (family name) to balance everything else out…. but any thoughts are appreciated! Help please, thank you!

 
The name that immediately springs to mind (but that unfortunately has an equally immediate, probably deal-breaking issue) is Starling. Reasonably familiar; easy to spell and pronounce; the bird association you like with Lark but without the -ark sound; pretty and distinctive. The immediate, probably deal-breaking issue: ends in -ing just like Field!ng. Field!ng and Starling. I am afraid that doesn’t quite fly.

There’s Wren. Field!ng and Wren.

A Linnet is another kind of bird, and reminds me of Sonnet and Linne@ from your list. The nickname Linnie is adorable. The main issue, I think, is that it would get tiresome to have people pronouncing it lin-NET instead of LIN-net. With any difficult spelling/pronunciation issue, I find it a hundred times easier if there’s a quick, easy, friendly way to correct people, and this does have one: “It’s Linnet. Like ‘minute’.” (Of course, as soon as I write that I notice it looks like the word for tiny, with the emphasis on the second syllable: my-NOOT. But it works as a SPOKEN explanation.)

All this talk of minutes makes me think of Minuet, a little like Amoret and Araminta from your list. Very pretty and feminine, very unusual, excellent easy nickname of Minnie. Field!ng and Minuet.

Or Silhouette, but really challenging spelling and no good nickname. Etta is a possibility, I guess, but it doesn’t feel connected. Sil is nice, but seems like it would go quickly to Silly (do Sylvias have this problem, I wonder?).

Or Silver. I like that with Field!ng: Field!ng and Silver.

Or Linden is the name of a tree and would take away the emphasis issue of Linnet. Field!ng and Linden.

Rosemary might be more familiar than you’d like; it used to be a bit of an exotic herb name (like using Lavender), but it’s become somewhat disconnected from those herbal associations and now sounds more like Rose + Mary. Rosie is an adorable nickname. Field!ng and Rosemary.

Autumn and Summer are common girl names, and even Winter gets some use, but Spring just sits there, virtually unused. It has the -ing ending that I think rules out Starling, but the one-syllable way it blends with the Spr- makes it not sound like the -ing of Field!ng to me. Field!ng and Spring.

If you weren’t trying to avoid E- names, I’d suggest Emerald. Unusual but familiar, with the easy nickname Emmmie.

When I worked in a plant nursery, I wondered why Zinnia wasn’t a more common girl name. It doesn’t have a natural nickname, but Z/Zee would be cute. Field!ng and Zinnia.

Primrose is another good one. It’s been used as a girl name, but not much recently. Field!ng and Primrose.

But probably my favorite almost-unused flower name is Hyacinth. Violets and Roses and Daisys run around everywhere, but almost no Hyacinths! Someone who wrote to us mentioned that that was her name, and that her nickname was Heidi.

My favorite from your list is Marigold. Familiar and easy to say and spell, but hardly ever used as a name (in 2010, according to the Social Security Administration, there were 9 new baby boys named Field!ng, and 13 new baby girls named Marigold); and I’d go with the nickname Mari.

Or there’s Magnolia, which has Maggie.

I also really like Clover.

And I would suggest reconsidering Pearl from your “too popular/trendy” list. Only 263 girls were named Pearl in 2010, which puts it in league with names such as Kai (for girls), Arya, and Lizeth. It’s quite uncommon, yet still completely familiar, and the tie-in with your own name is appealing.

I agree that Lavvy seems a little too bathroomy a nickname for Lavender. I am always reluctant to create nicknames, but I can’t resist a puzzle; maybe Livvy?

For Tamsin, she could go by Tams or Tamsie. I’m not sure if that would go directly to Tammy or not. (See also: Sil going to Silly.)

Name update! C. writes:

Thank you for all of the great advice and responses to our email!  We were a little overwhelmed with name choices right up until (and past!) our due date.  Our sweet baby girl was born in early May.  We arrived at the hospital with our huge list of names not narrowed down at all – even with so many we liked, we still just didn’t know which of the names really felt like OUR baby!  After spending a few hours with our little one, my husband and I both fell in love with the name Linne@ Pe@rl.  It’s funny because while that name was on our list, it was never one either of us considered a front-runner until we saw her.  We think it’s a really lovely name for our pink little jewel.  (I also love that Linne@ means a little pink Swedish flower — the twinflower.  So cute!)

Carole writes:

I was wondering if you could help us with our baby naming dilemma. I am due at the end of April with our first baby. We do not know if it is a boy or a girl.

My husband and I both LOVE the name Henry. But our last name is Potter. Will I be subjecting the baby to a lifetime of being called Harry Potter? I am really nervous of this. My husband thinks the child will be called Harry Potter no matter how opposite of Harry we choose and really wants to use it. The middle name has been picked. Richard. After my husbands father. So Henry Richard Potter? Can we do it?

Other boy names we like are:
Benjamin
Ryan – we also both like but I have a cousin who just named her boy Ryan last year.
Jack – but it is quite popular and how does Jack Potter sound?

I loved Andrew but it had to be tossed out because my sister chose it for my 3mo nephew. As you can tell I am having a hard time with coming up with something unique to pair with such a common last name.

Swistle, please help. Should we give up on Henry Potter? Will everyone forget the hype of J.K. Rowling and her very popular series of books in the next 5 years and we can use the name? With your experience are there any other boy names that you suggest?

We are not having as much as a dilemma with girl names. We both really like most of our choices. Katherine/Kate), Mallory, Camille, Anna (Annie), Marie.

Thank you and I really appreciate your help.

 
I vote no: I wouldn’t use Henry Potter. I don’t think the Harry Potter thing is going to blow over soon: it’s been 15 years and it’s still going strong. Perhaps the fervor will die down a bit now that there will not be new books/movies coming out? But I wouldn’t count on it, and in any case the name Harry Potter has been fully established as a cultural reference.

Certainly your surname will provoke comment no matter what first name you use, but the level of comments provoked by the name Henry Potter would be in a completely different league. I don’t think you’d be subjecting him to a lifetime of being called Harry Potter; I think you’d be subjecting him to a lifetime of startled reactions and incredulous double-takes. I’m picturing myself having to introduce myself as Hillary Clinton or Julia Roberts, and I would not want that for myself.

I’m afraid that for you Henry falls onto that sad list most of us have: Names We Really Really Love And Want To Use, But Can’t Use. Sometimes we can’t use a name because of a bad association, or because our spouse hates the name, or because the name clashes/rhymes with our surname or with a sibling name, or because someone close to us used the name, or because we’re not having any more children. In your case, you also have a highly recognizable surname with a very strong cultural association. (In fact, more than one: Beatrix would also be on your Sad Can’t Use list, if you loved it.)

All three names on your back-up list are great, and a cousin’s son seems far enough removed even if your family is close. Jack is common, but no more common than either Ryan or Benjamin. [Edit: Maria in the comments mentions Jack Potter brings “jackpot” to mind. That would probably make me rule it out.] Other possibilities:

Daniel Potter
Davis Potter
Elias Potter
Elliot Potter
Evan Potter
Everett Potter
Milo Potter
Nathan Potter
Nolan Potter
Owen Potter
Samuel Potter
William Potter

(I avoided the initials I.P.; if those initials don’t bother you, I’d add Ian and Isaac.)

Let’s have a poll over to the right, to see what everyone else thinks about the usability of the name Henry Potter. [Poll closed; see results below.]

Name update! Carole writes:

Sorry it has taken me awhile to get our naming update in. Turns out we had a girl. Mallory Katherine Potter weighing in at 5lb 10oz. My husband felt her petite but strong/spunky personality felt more like a Mallory than a Katherine.

Thank you for the help on deciding if Henry Potter was usable. I really enjoyed reading everyone comments and if we ever have a boy we know it is out of the question! I guess we can save it for our first animal?

Thanks again for all your help.

Anna writes:

We are expecting our first child, a boy, in early June. Of course, we had a girl’s name chosen, Emmaline Virginia, after my late grandmother. We will probably use this name if we have a girl in the future. Choosing our son’s name has proven to be more difficult!

My husband and I are at least on the same page when it comes to style, so that’s a start. We tend to like traditional, classic names. Most of the names in our list have a family connection as well.

Our last name is Mayberry, which has a positive connotation for most people, but of course, we don’t want to burden our child with any names related to the fictional town (Andrew,Barney, etc..).

Here are some of the names we’ve considered. We would possibly combine these as a first and middle name.

Henry–this is my favorite! I somehow feel an attachment to this name for our baby. My reservation is with the “Y” ending in both the first and last name. Is it too much of a rhyme?

Thomas–I think this has a nice flowing sound with our last name.

William–not sure about the double “m” sound.

Benjamin–one of my husband’s favorites

James–my father’s name

Michael–my FIL’s name

Additional names which may be a middle name:
Calvert
Chaney

We don’t like surnames as a first name. Also, we want to call our son by his first name, not his middle name.

Here are a few combinations we’ve considered. We would love your input on these and any other names we may have overlooked.

Henry Thomas
Henry James–is the literary connection a turn-off? My sister says so, but she is an English teacher. Surely, it’s not as recognizable as Edgar Allen. What do you think?
Henry Benjamin
James Michael
James Calvert
William Henry

Thanks for your help, Swistle. We are so grateful!

I feel like you just CAN’T make a mistake here. All these names are so classic and traditional and go so well together, you could almost pick any two out of a hat and have a success. This can make things harder, as we look for one combination that rises above the others—but it can also make things more relaxed, because they’re ALL good.

If I had to start narrowing it down, I’d probably start by crossing off James and William and Thomas. The -am- of James and the May- of Mayberry give me a slight tongue-stumbly feeling, and I think the problem intensifies with nicknames: Jamie Mayberry gives a mee-may transition my mouth doesn’t like to say, and Jim Mayberry blends too easily into Jimayberry. I feel the same about the way the final M of William blends into the beginning M of Mayberry, and the way Will Mayberry slides together. I like Thomas Mayberry, but not Tommy Mayberry or Tom Mayberry. I still like all three names as middle name candidates.

One of my top favorites is Benjamin Mayberry. I think that has a wonderful sound. (Though maybe too many sounds in common with Emmaline? I can’t tell.) The initials bother me, but I know from previous discussions that they aren’t an issue for everyone.

But I’m very influenced by the way you talk about the name Henry. It sounds like that’s the name you’re most drawn to for this baby. I see the issue with Henry Mayberry, but I think it still works. It helps that the -ry of Henry has that strong N-sound right before it (Harry Mayberry would be more of a problem), and also that Mayberry has three syllables (Henry Berry would be more of a problem).

Henry James definitely makes me think of the author—but both names are so common (and the surname James is so familiar as a given name), I’d assume there was no connection. If your surname were James, I think I’d suggest avoiding Henry, but as a first/middle I think the author connection just makes the names sound even more natural together. Your example of Edgar Allen is a good one: those names are so much less common, which makes the association much stronger.

I also love Henry Michael Mayberry. I think the repeating M gives it a slightly whimsical sound that goes well with Mayberry. But if Mayberry is your husband’s family name, I’m inclined toward using a name from your family for the middle name.

Henry Benjamin has the rhyming Hen/Ben, and I can’t tell if that’s an issue or if it’s the very thing that makes the two names work together.

Henry Calvert Mayberry is so distinguished.

Henry Thomas Mayberry, YES. That’s a great one.

If you use Henry, are there any names on the list you’d particularly like as brother names? I’d set those aside, and be less likely to consider them for the middle name. Are there any names on the list you’d rule out as brother names for Henry? I’d give those extra middle-name consideration, since they wouldn’t otherwise be used. (Or if you don’t choose Henry, I’d do this same exercise with whatever first name you do choose.)

I think my top favorite combination is Henry Thomas. What does everyone else think? What are your favorite combinations?

Name update! Anna writes:

We welcomed our precious baby boy on May 31st. We named him Henry Calvert Mayberry. Calvert is a family name, so we were happy to honor my dad in this way! Thanks to all for helping us narrow down the choices, and for some very positive feedback!