My mom has brought up another issue with the name Blythe: how is it pronounced? I haven’t even considered that it would be pronounced any way except with a voiced TH (as in bathe or breathe or tithe, as opposed to an unvoiced TH as in bath or breath or Ruth). My mom thinks it can be pronounced either way, or that maybe it’s correctly unvoiced because the word blithe has an unvoiced TH. But neither of us has ever known a single person named Blythe, so we’re not getting anywhere discussing it. (I’ve also never heard Blythe Danner’s name said out loud, or heard people talking about Blythe dolls, or seen an Anne of Green Gables movie with someone saying Gilbert Blythe.)

So let’s see if we can figure this out with a poll over to the right. We need extra-long poll options here, as when we tried to figure out the pronunciation of Rowan/Rowen, because some of us actually KNOW a Blythe and some of us have only seen the name in print: I remember reading a book about a Phoebe and thinking it was pronounced “foh-EEB.” I know this makes the poll bulky, but I think it’s worth it. [Poll closed; see results below.]

[Edited to add: I’m not sure our poll is worth anything, considering the percentage of people who can’t hear the difference between a voice and unvoiced TH. I can picture us all totally in agreement and yet voting opposite options!

Try this exercise. Say “this,” but say the “th” part for a few seconds before ending in the “iss” part: the “th” kind of buzzes the tongue. Now say “think,” and do the same thing: say the “th” part for a few seconds before moving on to the “ink” part. Now it’s just breath/hissing, like a whisper. The word “this” has a voiced TH; the word “think” has an unvoiced TH.

Or try it at the end of the word: say “bath,” but let the end sound go on for awhile. Now say “bathe,” and let the end sound go on for awhile. First no buzzing; then buzzing. Bath is a non-voiced TH; bathe is a voiced TH.

Or try it with breath/breathe. First say “Take a breath,” and extend that TH sound. Now say “Just breathe,” and extend that TH sound. Different, right? Breath doesn’t buzz; breathe does. Breath is the non-voiced TH; breathe is the voiced TH.]

Poll results for “How is the name Blythe pronounced?” (531 votes total):

I know a Blythe; it’s like bathe – 75 votes (14%)
I know a Blythe; it’s like bath – 85 votes (16%)
I know at least one pronounced each way – 4 votes (1%)
I don’t know a Blythe; I thought it was like bathe – 187 votes (35%)
I don’t know a Blythe; I thought it was like bath –  180 votes (34%)

The extremely small number of votes for “I know at least one pronounced each way” is possible support for the theory that the poll is thrown off by so many of us not knowing/hearing the difference between the two ways. If the two pronunciations were used about 50-50, as the “I know a Blythe” categories suggest, it seems likely that more people would know one of each—rather than, as in the comments, knowing SEVERAL Blythes, all of whom pronounce it the same way. Or perhaps its regional?

Joanna writes:

Hi!  My sister sent me the link to your blog after I found out I am pregnant with my first. I have been reading it frequently in my free time.  The task of picking a name is completely overwhelming. I don’t know if the baby is a boy or a girl. We each wrote down a list of our top 5 girl and boy names, then showed each other.  Our last name is Howard. Both of our girl lists had Miriam and Harper. And I like the combination of Harper Miriam (or Margaret, his grandma’s name) or Miriam Harper, and we actually both really like the double H initials. But the girl names really aren’t the problem.

We have NO idea where to start with boy names.  Our boy lists had one name in common, which was Max, but I’m not in love with it.  We both like Silas, but again, not in love with it.  I suppose my question is, how do you even start the name process?  I tried baby wizard, but I think I like too wide a range of names.  

My only dislikes for a name is that it can’t be too unusual that he/she would have to spell/pronounce it for everyone (I had a difficult last name before I married, and that was a pain), and I would prefer it not to be top 10, though I don’t mind top 100. We lean towards Biblical names, both of ours being slightly Biblical (mine Joanna, his Benjamin). But it’s not a must.  I like vintage and older names, but again not a must.  I JUST DON’T KNOW WHERE TO START?  

Our initial lists had:

I picked,

Silas

Isaac

Ezra (which husband immediately vetoed)

Max 

Parker (wild card, I had to add a fifth)

He picked,

Connor (I vetoed)

Donovan (I vetoed)

Max

Clay (I vetoed)

Jarvis (I vetoed because all I think of is Ironman)

Clearly, I’m a bit pickier and I veto more names than husband. Please help give us direction.

Thanks so much!

This is a great topic for a group setting like this. I can tell you how I started, and other people can say how they started, and perhaps one or more of those ways will be ways that would work for you too.

The first baby has its own special challenges (I wrote a post just for first-time parents), because everything is wide open: you can choose from EVERYTHING, and for many people it’s the first time they’ve given much thought to baby names. Even those of us who read baby name books to name our childhood dolls are in it For Real for the first time—and/or are seeing how different it is when there’s another person saying, “Nope, no, no, nope, no way,” etc.

I started by getting a baby name book that wasn’t a baby name dictionary (as in, it was a book that didn’t seem to be padding the list to get the biggest possible number on the cover: “1,000,001 Baby Names If You Count Algratroid and Grinn!!!”) and going through it and writing down every name I could imagine considering. That is, if I found a name that I didn’t think there was any way it would beat out the other ten I’d already written down, or it didn’t seem like it fit with our style, but I still liked the name well enough to notice it, I wrote it down. I tried to work on it in short enough sessions so that I didn’t start skimming.

This was time-consuming. But I did it in the early stages of the pregnancy, usually starting about 5 minutes after getting a positive pregnancy test, and it helped to get through those lonnnnnnng early months when it’s all worry and very little action. And I wrote the lists in my journal, so it’s fun to see some of the names I wrote down: “Dutch” for my firstborn, for example.

One reason I write down all the names instead of just the names that seem most likely is that sometimes seeing a large list of EVERYTHING I like can help me better narrow down what I REALLY like. Also, it gives the other parent a lot of names to cross off, so they feel like they’re having a say. Also, it can be fun to use a not-quite-our-usual-style name as a middle name. Also, sometimes I would find that although I’d thought I liked one style, my list was mostly made up of a different style—or that whenever I went over the list, I was more drawn to a different style, or tended to cross out all the names of a particular style. (Also, I like baby naming, and so I tend to err on the side of spending MORE time doing it.)

For me, when I did the “make a big list and work from THAT instead of from the name book” idea, I usually ended up crossing out until I ended up with a list of about a dozen names that were real candidates. Then Paul would cross out or circle some. Then we’d get down to a few real finalists, and we’d start ranking them and I’d spend a lot of time thinking about it and check in periodically with a less-interested Paul to see how HE was feeling about the choices. Sometimes I’d add a new name to the list, or leaf through the name book some more. I’d analyze every name that came up in every book, movie, and TV show. I looked for more possibilities in the credits, or in celebrity magazines. I looked up names in the Social Security data base to see how popular they were. I went through the family trees to see if I saw anything interesting. (This stage drives Paul a little nuts. I try to courteously involve him as little as possible, just as I appreciate when he doesn’t subject me to ALL the talk about the various advantages and disadvantages of each of several drill presses he’s considering.)

I would also play little games with the names we’d narrowed it down to. Like, let’s say I had Max on my list. I’d look in The Baby Name Wizard under the name Max, and see what she suggested as brother names. I’d pick my favorite of those five names and go look IT up, and then pick my favorite of THOSE five names, and so on.

Or if my list felt too short or nothing seemed quite right, I’d brainstorm to see if I could find names that had things in common with the name. For Max, I’d consider Sam and Jack because they were one-syllable names with the same vowel sound and general style. Then I might see how I felt about Gus and George, or about Matt and John. For Silas, I’d consider Simon and Elias. I’d see if I could put a finger on what it was I liked about the name, and then see if there were other similar names I might feel more decisive about.

If I were making a brainstorming list from your list, it would look something like this:

Silas
Simon
Elias
Eli
Elijah
Seth
Josiah
Isaac
Zachary
Ian
Ezekiel
Micah
Miles
Aaron
Ezra
Ezekiel
Evan
Noah
Levi
Max
Sam
Jack
George
Gus
Charlie
Matt
John
James
Leo
Henry
Paul
Adam
Parker
Archer
Spencer
Carter
Carson
Miller
Connor
Colin
Carter
Carson
Camden
Callum
Kyle
Keegan
Kieran
Donovan
Daniel
Aiden
Landon
Brandon
Brenden
Evan
Everett
Nolan
Ethan
Nathan
Clay
Gabe
Gabriel
Gage
Cole
Gray
Grayson
Hayden
Tate
Wade
Wyatt
David
Caleb
Jarvis
Jared
Garrett
Bennett
Travis
Thomas

If this is starting to feel overwhelming and stressful, then this may not be the method for you. One of my friends does zero with baby name books, and instead waits for the name to occur to her. She’s going along and thinks, “Adam. How about Adam? Yes, Adam. With…James. Yes, James, that would be nice, and that’s my husband’s grandfather’s name. Adam James. How nice!” My mother-in-law was the same: Paul was named by that method, as was his sister. “Way more time and effort” doesn’t necessarily pay off in a proportionately better name; in fact, it can lead to more stress and uncertainty.

Or you could do a shorter version of my method: instead of writing down EVERY name you even KIND OF like, only write down the ones you really like. Instead of then making the list longer, make it shorter: toss out the ones where you know you wouldn’t choose that name over another name on your list. If you get down to a couple of names and neither of them feels right, THEN maybe try brainstorming for similar names.

With one of my pregnancies, we did something like this: I wrote down a list of a dozen or so names I really liked. I showed the list to Paul. He picked his favorite from that list. We used it. That was a good way, too. You could both make lists, and choose one or two or three from each other’s lists, and make those into a new list.

Nicole writes:

We have two weeks left to name baby girl Greenwald, and I’m still stuck on a middle name.  We decided to go with Emerson as her first name, although it has NOT been well received by our families.  Apparently, everyone thinks it sounds like a boy’s name.  But, I keep thinking about naming her something else, and then meeting a little Emerson weeks later, and I just know I’d be filled with regret.  Anyway, to balance out the “boyish” quality of the name, I want to go with something ultra feminine and sweet for the middle name.  We love Emerson Rose, but it feels like Rose is all over the place right now.  Do you have any names that are short and sweet like Rose?
The problem is nothing sounds right to me…  Here’s our current list of middle names.  I was thinking maybe you could do a poll on your site? Or give us your honest opinion on these?  I think it would help… I’ve become obsessed and it’s not helping me sleep any better!

Emerson Nicole (my name)
Emerson Sofia (hub’s favorite)
Emerson Rose (overused middle name?)
Emerson Victoria (my favorite, but hub says it’s too long)
Emerson Amelia

Here’s my list:

Emerson Abigail (EAG)
Emerson Anne (EAG)
Emerson Claire (ECG)
Emerson Chloe (ECG)
Emerson Elena (EEG)
Emerson Ella (EEG)
Emerson Eve (EEG)
Emerson Faye (EFG) (fun three-in-a-row initials!)
Emerson Fiona (EFG)
Emerson Hope (EHG)
Emerson Jane (EJG)
Emerson Joy (EJG)
Emerson June (EJG)
Emerson Kate (EKG)
Emerson Kay (EKG)
Emerson Linnea (ELG)
Emerson Louise (ELG)
Emerson Lydia (ELG)
Emerson Mae (EMG)
Emerson Meredith (EMG)
Emerson Noelle (ENG)
Emerson Sabrina (ESG)

Emerson Victoria doesn’t seem too long to me (it’s only one syllable longer than your husband’s first choice), but I like long girl names. I also like that 3-4-2 rhythm, and would add Emerson Felicity and Emerson Elizabeth.

I love the idea of using your name as her middle name. It bugs me a little that the tradition is so common with boy names and not with girl names.

If this helps, I will say that it doesn’t matter very much what you choose. We had it down to three middle names for Henry, and I lay awake agonizing about it—and then I thought, “Does it make any difference in any of our lives which middle name we choose of those three?” and answered myself “No. We can just pick one.” And indeed it didn’t matter much: I have to think for a second to remember what his middle name is, because the subject comes up so rarely after the birth announcements are sent out. And with Elizabeth, I wanted an entirely different type of middle name than we ended up choosing (we went with Paul’s favorite as part of a naming compromise), and that doesn’t matter much either. In fact, I’ve come to like her middle name very much, and I just go ahead and call her Elizabeth Jane and and Elizabeth Louise (and Elizabeth Marie and Elizabeth St. Claire, even though those were never on the list—they’re just fun to say) whenever I want to anyway.

Let’s have a poll over to the right with your finalists. [Poll closed; see results below.]

Kelley writes:

We have 2 children named Landon and Adaline.  I had a long list of names for each, and arrived at their names with no hesitation.  With our third, there is none that have that strong feeling of, “This is THE one and only name for her!”  My sweet grandma’s name is Emily, and so I was going to do Emma Grace.  I am sure you know the extreme popularity of that name!  I have seen 2 recent postings on facebook of people who just named their baby Emma Grace or are going to name her that with their baby due in March. 

2 of the names I have gone through, and liked, are Makenna and Madaleise.  I still don’t have that 100 percent tug at my heart that either of those are the one!  I am wondering if a name with a letter L in it would go well, since we have Landon and AdaLine. Also, my name is KeLLey and my hubby’s name is PhiLip.  So, we all have an L in our names.  Our last name is Hart, so a lot of names go easily with it.  I don’t like any common names, nor any top names.  I like uniquely beautiful names. If he was a boy, his name was most likely going to be Jensen Nolan.  I fear this baby will end up with a name that I just have to settle with, instead of love.  We would like to have one more child in the way future. Can you help us name our little girl, about to arrive in March, which is also the same birth month as mine? Please?

Jodie writes:

I am 33 weeks pregnant with my fourth boy (and last child). My name is Jodie, my husband is Michael, our last name is Pack. Our older children are Conner Michael, Nolan Bryant, and Gavin Claude. I am supposed to have an early c-section at the beginning of February because I have placenta previa, so this is kind of last minute – sorry! Since this is our last boy and we are very picky with names, finding a name for this baby has been a struggle. We found one that we (especially I) absolutely love though. Bennett Fisher. I really want Fisher to be the middle name (it is my Grandma’s maiden name and she just passed away last June, right before we found out we were pregnant. I think Bennett Fisher Pack sounds great. I like names that are 2 syllables, easy to spell, recognizable but not so unique that they sound made up. I am not a nick name person – we would not call him Ben.just Bennett. I wanted to have a name with an ‘n’ in it, because all the others do. I don’t want a name that ENDS in ‘n’ because that offsets the symmetry in my family. See how OCD I am? I also seem to have names free of blends so far (no Cr, Bl, St,.names roll off the tongue easily). I LOVE Bennett – it’s meaning, it’s anglo-slant (I seem to gravitate towards Irish, Welsh, Scottish, English type names), and it just seems to fit.

HERE’s the PROBLEM! My sister just had a baby last week. She told me a few months ago she wanted to name her baby Benjamin and call him Ben. At the time she told me I got a little worried because we had just landed on Bennett. I let her know that we had sort of landed on Bennett, thinking it would be OK – after all, it’s not the SAME NAME and we wouldn’t call our kid Ben. She said she was fine with it, but then my other sister (who loves drama) called me and said she was actually really upset about it and wanted me to change my name. I’m a pleaser. I tried to find another name for a few days, but nothing else fit like Bennett. I told her we would be going with Bennett no matter what, and she said she wasn’t mad. But now my drama-loving other sister says I should not bring it up with her because it will stress her out (meaning I shouldn’t tell her we are still going to call him Bennett). My husband and my parents think it’s a non-issue and I/we should name our baby whatever we want. Last night my husband and I talked about it and decided that we are willing to look at other names to keep the peace, but if nothing else jumps out at us, we’re staying with Bennett.

Sorry, that was long.

So, other names we have considered are:
Wyatt (I like it, not sure if I love it)
Jasper (I don’t love the p’s in Jasper Pack)
Lennox (seems to out there to me, but my husband likes it)
Elliott (I don’t like it at all, but my husband does – seems too feminine to me and I don’t like unisex names)
Derek (too 80’s?)
Jared (too boring and common?)
Zander ( I like it but my husband isn’t familiar with it – makes him think of Zoolander)

We are absolutely done having children. If this was a girl, her name would be Charlotte, so maybe that’s why I like Bennett so much (the ‘tt’ ending).

Help!

Sometimes when I am reading a mystery novel and a solution begins to reveal itself, I will think, “Wait. But that can’t be it, because Mr. Picklan wasn’t there that night!”—and I continue to be fooled, not realizing that the ONLY reason I know Mr. Picklan wasn’t there that night is that Mrs. Roberts SAID SO. If that little snippet of testimony turns out not to be true, the whole case collapses.

That is what I am reminded of here, where one sister is telling you (1) that the sister who says she’s not upset IS in fact VERY upset, and (2) that you should not confirm this with the sister because it would upset her, and (3) that you are further supposed to keep your child’s name a secret (for how long, I wonder?) because it would upset her.

What if we snipped off that little snippet of testimony? Then what we would have is a situation that almost couldn’t be more ideal:

* Your sister had several months’ warning that you were intending to use the name Bennett, so if that bothered her she had plenty of time to either (1) change her name choice or (2) tell you she wasn’t okay with it;

* She then found out you were definitely going to use it, and again she had a chance to speak up or change her own name choice if she wasn’t okay with that; 

* Then she went ahead and named her son Benjamin, with full knowledge that in a month you would be naming your son Bennett;

* And now you will name your son Bennett, already knowing the issue with your nephew’s somewhat-similar name.

Didn’t that work out well? In many situations, things get much more jumbled. Sometimes everyone keeps names a secret, so then your sister could have named her baby Benjamin with no idea you were planning to use Bennett, and right now you could be having a secret crisis over what you should do now. And then maybe when your sister found out you were planning to use Bennett, she could have FREAKED OUT HUGELY, threatening and weeping and acting so hysterical you felt there was no way you could use the name Bennett now, unfair as that might be.

But neither of those things happened. She had warning; you had warning; everyone was okay with everything. The only suggestion that everything is not as it seems comes from the testimony of your other sister who, as you tell us, loves drama. I have had contact with people who love drama, and you have many years of experience with your sister, so I think if the two of us sat down and discussed the possibilities, we would come up with quite a few likely scenarios that didn’t involve there being an actual problem. For example, I can picture something along the lines of your drama-oriented sister working hard to elicit a very mild statement from your mother-to-Benjamin sister about how, sure, she kind of wishes the two names weren’t so similar but it doesn’t really matter—and turning that into “She’s REALLY UPSET. She wants you to CHANGE THE NAME. No, don’t even talk to her, she’s TOO UPSET.”

“Piffle” is what I say to the idea of you changing the perfect name based on that. You have two options, as I see it:

1. Go to your sister (the one with the new baby Benjamin) and say something like, “Listen. I know the times we talked about this before, we left it that we were both okay with the similarity of Benjamin/Bennett. But you know Sister and how she loves drama, and she’s been going around freaking everyone out saying YOU’RE freaking out, and I don’t want to take her too seriously because you know how she is, but on the other hand I wanted to make sure we got one last chance to have a frank talk before I go filling out birth certificates.” You’d need to be aware, though, that what you’d be doing here is saying something like “If you have ANY slight dislike of this situation AT ALL, just mention it and I won’t use the name.” And I doubt you’d like to say that. This discussion could only have taken place effectively when EITHER of you could have changed your name choice.

2. Use the name, without getting sucked into the drama. If the drama is snipped out, we have a non-situation here: everyone knows you’re using the name, and no one objected even when they had ample chances to do so. Probably neither you nor your sister thinks it’s ideal that the two names are similar, but neither one of you thinks the other one should have to give up a name over it—and that’s the appropriate reaction. It doesn’t seem like a good idea to try to get your sister to manufacture/express an inappropriate reaction instead, especially since that would leave you with two choices: (1) choosing another name instead of the one you want, or (2) going with the name on purpose anyway, against her now-explicitly-stated wishes. No good!

I would also like to point out that this is not just a situation about your sister being okay with the name you’re using: it’s about BOTH of you being okay with the other sister’s name choice. If it is important that she be okay with your baby’s name, it is no more important than it was for you to be okay with her baby’s name. Did she repeatedly solicit your assurances that it was okay for her to still use Benjamin for her baby? No? Then probably she does not expect you to repeatedly solicit her assurances that it’s still okay for you to use Bennett. She had her baby a few weeks before you will be having yours, but since both of you knew the situation well ahead of time, the order of birth is irrelevant to this particular situation: you both said you were okay with the other’s name choice, and now you will both go ahead and use your own name choices. With time, the issue is likely to fade completely, and the two cousins will most likely grow up thinking it’s neat.

(And if she really IS upset about it, she had/has two options: (1) Discuss it with you, rather than with the sister who has nothing to do with choosing the names, and/or (2) Find a different name for her child, back when you said you were definitely using Bennett.)

Sarah writes:

Hi!! My sister sent me the link to your website and I am really intrigued (she actually chose a private consultation just the other night). I am pregnant with my fifth child- a little girl due in early May. At a loss about what to name her! I know what I like, and I will share those names with you after I list her siblings (our last name is kind of like Lemon, but not a noun):

Eldest to youngest: Lily Ana Lemon, Jack Price Lemon (his middle name is my maiden name), Abram “Abe” Sims Lemon (his middle name is his great grandfathers name), and Alice Clare Lemon.

I love the fact that all of their names are old-fashioned. They go together especially well when listed without their middle names (Lily, Jack, Abe & Alice). Obviously, I would like another older name (and I prefer a name that is less common than Lily and Jack, which have become very over-used these days).

Some of my favorites are as follows: Mae with middle name Marguerite (Marguerite is my grandmother’s name), Clara (but it may be too close to Alice’s middle name), Estelle, Rose (but I wonder if it is wrong to name only two of the girls after flowers), Rosie, Mimi… I think you get the idea! My great-aunt’s name was Heartcease (which I hate) but we called her “Aunt Heart” which I love, but “Heart” is just too free-spirited to go with my other names.

Some other names we like:
-Evelyn (but just read it is number 24 in the US! I know you say not to focus on that, but I do have a fear of another lily/jack explosion!)
-I like Eleanor– hubby thinks it is ok.
-I am not a huge fan of Mabel but for se reason Seth is ok with it! He also likes Isabel, but I don’t think it goes with the rest so I threw it out as an option.
-my paternal grandmother’s name is Joyce and I like the name, but most people think it is toooo old lady to use.
-I like Ellen- Seth doesn’t.
-we both love Annie, but three ‘A’ names in a row?
-Alice’s nickname is “birdie” which I love, but obviously takes Birdie out of the running.
-my mom’s name is Sally which is so cute, but I’m on the fence about naming the last after the grandmother…

We already have vetoed the following (due to family members / close friends having the name- or because we don’t like them for another reason):
-Jane
-Stella
-Eloise
-Julia
-Lucy
-Charlotte
-Adelyn, Addison (or any other spelling)
-Avery, Ella, Ava
-Madeline

Just last night, Seth was telling me how much he loves Mae as a first name… Do you think it is going to explode a la Evelyn? And do you have any concerns about using it in the month of may? I thought something serious as a middle name might balance it – Mae Ellen?? I don’t know!

We’d love help with first and middle combos!! Thanks soooo much.

If this is your last baby and your last chance to use the name Annie, I urge you to use it. I see what you mean about three A names in a row, but I think it’s fine: the name Annie is wonderful with Lily and Alice, and you both love it, and I think in the long run those are going to feel like the important things. I might suggest using Anne or Anna (or maybe even Annabel?) as the given name and Annie as the nickname, to give her more flexibility if she ends up with a job later on where she’d like something less friendly-sounding: I can picture being, say, a trial lawyer or a professor, and not wanting to have to introduce myself as Annie. (I realize choosing Anna bumps into Lily’s middle name, but I think that’s another “okay in the long run”/”especially when there are more than the usual number of children” sort of thing.) Combinations:

Anna Beatrix
Anna Evelyn
Anna Frances (I like the repeated sound, but it’s a subjective sort of thing)
Anna Heart (I see what you mean about it sounding a little free-spirited, but fine for the middle name, and with a good explanation for it)
Anna June
Anna Joy(ce)
Anna Kate
Anna Rose
Anna Ruth
Anna Sophia

Anne Celeste
Anne Elena
Anne Elise (I like how this goes together, like Anneliese, which reminds me of Lily Ana / Lilliana)
Anne Eliza
Anne Heart (I like how this sounds like Aunt Heart, strengthening the connection)
Anne Louise
Anne Marguerite
Anne Rosemary
Anne Ruby

Annie Heart
Annie Joy
Annie Rose

I wanted to suggest Anna Mae but then realized it sounded like “anime”; I wanted to suggest Annie Mae but then realized it sounded like “Fannie Mae.” Anne Estelle is so pretty, but Ann Estelle is the name of Mary Engelbreit’s cartoon girl; I don’t know if that’s at all well-known or if it matters anyway. Maybe Anne Esther instead?

I also love Clara. As with Anna, I think it’s not-ideal-and-yet-fine that it’s close to a sister’s middle name. Lily, Jack, Abe, Alice, and Clara is so perfect. I especially like how the three girls all have different endings; sometimes it can be tricky with girl names to avoid too many -y/-ie or too many -a endings.

Clara Heart (I love this)
Clara Joy(ce)
Clara Mae
Clara Rose

If Eleanor is not quite right, I suggest Nora. Lily, Jack, Abe, Alice, and Nora. Combinations:

Nora Belle (because of your husband liking Isabel)
Nora Heart
Nora Joy
Nora Mae
Nora Marguerite
Nora Rose

And if Clara is not quite right, I suggest Cora. I’d pair it with the same middle names as Nora, except not Heart because “cor” is the Latin root for heart.

If you love Mimi, I feel tempted to pressure you to use Miriam. It’s such a pretty name, with such long roots—but so underused. Miriam “Mimi” Lemon. Lily, Jack, Abe, Alice, and Mimi. Combinations:

Miriam Eve (too biblical-sounding?)
Miriam Heart
Miriam Joy(ce)
Miriam Mae
Miriam Rose

Evelyn has surprised me by becoming so popular. I might suggest Vivian instead: Lily, Jack, Abe, Alice, and Vivi. But I think Vivian might follow right behind Evelyn, popularity-wise, because the sounds are so similar.

All the Ev/Av names might be too popular to consider, but I’m very fond of Eve, and so far it hasn’t risen as much as the others (it was #546 in 2011). Lily, Jack, Abe, Alice, and Eve. Combinations:

Eve Celeste
Eve Estelle (but EEL initials)
Eve Mabel
Eve Marguerite
Eve Rosabel
Eve Rosemary

I love the name Sally. We used a grandparent name for our fourth child after using non-honor first names for all the others, and I was worried it would seem weird, but it hasn’t been a big deal. In fact, I ended up glad we’d done it for a later child rather than for, say, the first: it made the honor name less of a big deal, which is what I wanted since the other children weren’t going to get them (and so other relatives didn’t get their hopes up!). My one concern is that Sally might be too similar to both Lily and Alice—almost a combination of the two names (I had to say them aloud to notice it, since visually Alice doesn’t announce its S sound).

It occurred to me that Sadie and Sally are both traditional nicknames for Sarah. If you named your daughter Sadie, you and she and your mother would have a strong, fun, 3-generation link. Sadie might make a good middle name if you don’t like it as a first. Nora Sadie, Clara Sadie, Frances Sadie, Ruth Sadie?

Sadie Estelle
Sadie Mae
Sadie Joy(ce)
Sadie Louise
Sadie Rose

Sally also makes me think of Molly:

Molly Celeste
Molly Estelle
Molly Mae
Molly Marguerite
Molly Joy(ce)
Molly Rose

Tessa would be pretty. Lily, Jack, Abe, Alice, and Tess. Combinations:

Tessa Joy
Tessa Mae
Tessa Noelle
Tessa Rose
Tessa Sally

Or I put Frances as a middle name for Anna, but I also like it on its own. Lily, Jack, Abe, Alice, and Frannie.

Frances Estelle
Frances Evelyn
Frances Joy
Frances Rose

Or Josephine. Lily, Jack, Abe, Alice, and Josie.

Josephine Elena
Josephine Elise
Josephine Joy (I love this)
Josephine Noelle
Josephine Rose

An acquaintance of mine named a baby girl Ruth several years ago, and I’ve been surprised at what an adorable name it is, especially with the nickname Ruthie.

Ruth Eleanor
Ruth Eliza
Ruth Estelle
Ruth Evelyn
Ruth Louise

It’s so hard to predict name popularity—I would never have though Evelyn would get so popular, and just LOOK at it! But if I HAD to guess, I’d guess that Mae will follow more the path of the name Rose: becoming quite popular and familiar as a middle name, but still unusual and fresh as a first name. Right now, Mae is just barely in the Top 1000 (the spelling May has been out of the Top 1000 for three decades now), so the name is still very uncommon; even if it gets popular later on, it won’t be common among her peers.

Using it in the month of May appeals to me, but I could see how someone might get weary of it: I had a co-worker named April who got tired of being asked if she’d been born in April, and also got tired of the jokes during the month of April. I suspect the spelling Mae would significantly reduce this sort of issue. And on the flip side, my mom and I read a book with sisters who all had birth-month names, and they said they felt like their entire birth-month was their birthday. Mae Ellen is pretty—Southern charm! I also love Mae Marguerite from your first email. Or I like Mae Frances, or Mae Ruth, or Mae Estelle, or Mae Louise. Or you could do Mae Belle or Mae Bella, to approximate Mabel.

Edited to add: Sarah asked if we could do a poll for these combinations: Eve Amelia, Ruby Louise, Ruby Clementine, Ruth Estelle, Ruth Amelia, Annie Louise. I’ll put a poll over to the right.  [Poll closed; see results below.]