Jessica writes:

You might remember helping me & my husband name our daughter, Amelia Eve, a year and a half ago after an epic battle of naming styles. Well, we are at it again – due in May with our second (and probably last) baby. Eve was my favourite name from day one but husband was lukewarm, Amelia was his top choice and I really liked it (and the nickname potential; Murray calls her Amelia, but I call her Mia most of the time). We had to compromise on popularity but overall we both love her name.

Sibsets are very important to us (okay, to me) and I would like another classic first name that can be shortened, coupled with an already-short-but-completely-gorgeous middle. Preferences for the first name are more than two syllables, not starting or ending in A, not top twenty. This child will also have either my or my husband’s middle name as a second middle which has to be taken into consideration for overall length. Easy, right? Hah.

Knowing in advance that it would be a struggle, we started straight away this time and after hearing FOR THE LAST TIME that I will never be naming a son of his Sebastian, Murray has agreed that if this baby is a boy-child, he will be Oliver Fox. THE PERFECT brother name. My guess is that means we’re having another girl.

So after starting from scratch (again), we have narrowed it down to  names  – none of which quite work. But here they are:

Eloise. The last remaining girl name on our list of three from Mia, we were both agreed that we would use it if we had another girl. Unfortunately we’ve both gone rather lukewarm on this name. It does seem to go SO WELL with Amelia, though, and gives me Lo & Lola – so cute.

Evelyn. This was a suggestion of yours from the first round which was – surprise, surprise – vetoed by my husband. Today he looked over at me and said, apropos of nothing, “I don’t mind the name Evelyn.” I wanted to kill him. Instead, I edited this draft. Nickname: Evi (eh-vee), possible middle name Mae. BUT, is it too close now that we’ve used Eve as Mia’s middle name?

Anastasia. Yes! It’s back! Vetoed immediately last time, hubby has finally seen the light and agreed (albeit reluctantly) to put it on the list. Nicknames Ana or Ani, check. Hopefully Fifty Shades of Grey has not ruined this name for us (don’t get me wrong, I loved the book despite it being perhaps THE worst edited best seller of all time, but not an association I really want for my baby girl). Problems here are the repetition of both the first and last letter of her sister’s name, which I really wanted to avoid, plus it’s a bit of a mouthful unless we can come up with a tiny little middle name for it.

Quilla. This is Murray’s top choice and was his great-aunt’s name. At first I said NO WAY. Maybe if we had gone with one of our outliers like Piper or Winter or Sunday the first time around, I said. It doesn’t go with Amelia AT ALL, I said. Then I thought… Is it really that far off? I’ve never heard it before, but if you introduced yourself as Quilla, I’d spell it just like that without hesitation. There are three things that put me off it: it’s two syllables with our two-syllable last name, it has zero nickname options (Q? Illy?) – and it is MY TURN to choose the first name! (Included for the sake of honesty although it makes me sound selfish. It just seems so unfair given that I have been compiling name lists since primary school.) Middle name would likely be Isobel, a name we both love but can’t use as a first. If we had just named our first Eve Anastasia like I WANTED to, I would use Quilla Isobel without hesitation – but does it fit now?

Names that have been vetoed by my husband: My first choice, Imogen (unfortunately, Murray feels the way about Imogen that I did about the phrase “and then he found his own release” by the middle of book two of the Fifty Shades trilogy – I really did love the books, though, I swear. Well, the first one, anyway), Eliza, Eleanor, Coraline, Madeleine, Electra, Adelaide, Louisa, Miranda, Clara, Elodie, Corisande, Clementine, Vivienne, Rosalind, Adeline, Juliet. We both seem to prefer vowel names. Are there any left?

Names that we have rejected for other reasons are Sophia, Charlotte, Violet, Scarlett, Georgia and variations.

Middle names are another problem as it turns out Eve and Ivy were the only already-short-but-completely-gorgeous names on our list, and Murray has gone from ‘meh’ to utter loathing upon careful consideration of Ivy. He has already rejected Wren, Snow, Swan, Jane, June, Io, Aria, Lyra, Lyric, True, Alice, Elise, Claire and Rue as well. I would prefer a bite-sized word name that’s not too ‘out there’, but does it exist?

So what we are looking for here is a name like Amelia Eve, or Imogen Ivy, but NOT those names… Help!

Oh, I do love Eloise so, so much. I wonder if the name would freshen right up again when it was on the baby herself? I might try doing a Google image search for newborns, and then looking at their little faces and thinking “Eloise.”

I don’t think the first name Evelyn is too close to her sister’s middle name Eve. I don’t think I would even have noticed if you hadn’t mentioned it—and if I DID notice, I’d think of how I’m the same way: certain sounds and letters appeal to me again and again. Perhaps we will find a middle name that has some small thing in common with the name Amelia, and that will make an even cuter sibling set! Amelia Eve and Evelyn Anne, for example, to have swapped initials; or Amelia Eve and Evelyn Leigh to have swapped sounds.

I think Kate would make a nice short middle name for Anastasia. Amelia Eve and Anastasia Kate.

It’s hard to picture a sister pairing of Amelia and Quilla. I don’t see any problem with a 2-2 syllable set-up, but I do see an issue with popularity: Amelia was the 30th most popular name for girls in the U.S. in 2011 (and Mia hit the top ten), while Quilla was completely unused. On the other hand, Quilla sounds similar to Ella and Isabella and other names currently in style. I’m not sure. Combined with the lack of nicknames and the your-turn issue, I think I’d use it as a middle name—especially since Q is one of the coolest middle initials ever.

Quilla and Imogen brought the name Gillian/Jillian to mind. Jillian S!mon; Amelia and Jillian. Maybe Jillian Kate or Jillian May or Jillian Jade.

Or maybe Eliana. Eliana S!mon; Amelia and Eliana.

Has he made ANY suggestions other than Quilla? I feel like I can’t get a grip on his naming tastes, since all his contributions are almost exclusively vetoes.

I think the best choice overall is Evelyn. It’s compatible with Amelia in style, popularity, and length; it sounds similar to Imogen; it starts with a vowel; it has cute nicknames; and your husband has not vetoed it. SOLD. Evelyn Quilla would be nice. Or I think Evelyn Mae accomplishes the possible goal of making her middle name similar to her sister’s first name in the same way her first name is similar to her sister’s middle name. Eve/Evelyn/Evi and Mae/Amelia/Mia.

R. writes:

Hi, there!

I’m listening to “The Distant Hours” by Kate Morton as an audiobook, and it struck me that the daughter’s name is nested within the mother’s name:

Daughter: Edith
Mother: Meredith

I doubt it’s a coincidence, judging by how this book is going on, but it got me thinking: what other name combinations do this? Besides obvious nickname ones. My favorite of the few I could think of was Nathan/Jonathan.

I think it would be a cool, inside-jokey way of connecting otherwise unrelated names. What do you think?

Ooo, I like it! Let’s see how many we can think of!

Hm, Anna from Hannah might or might not qualify, but Anna from Joanna wouldn’t. Beth from Elizabeth doesn’t, but Eliza might because the sounds are so different and it’s its own separate stand-alone name rather than a nickname—sort of like Jonathan and Nathan. Lia from Amelia might.

Amaya and May
Annabelle/Isabelle and Abel
Belinda/Melinda and Elin
Candace and Ace
Liana/Lillian/Jillian/Brianna/Brian and Ian
Shannon and Ann
Jeremy and Remy
Catherine and Erin
Elizabeth/Isabel/Annabel and Abe
Corinne and Orin
Felix and Eli
Julian and Lia
William and Lia

Some of these might not qualify; it’s a little hard to find the line.

LB writes:

I’m not pregnant as of yet, but we will be trying soon. I’ve been obsessed with names for as long as I can remember, and I’m really excited about one. It’s not often that I get “stuck” on something like this; the name has become a small obsession of mine, but there is a problem.

The problem comes from a male name, since we’re able to agree on MANY female names (frontrunners are Celeste and Violet. Our favorite, Olivia, became too popular for our liking).

The name is Brock. I LOVE it. My husband loves it, too, for many reasons. For one, it’s an alliterative name to our last name, which is Barlow, which I’ve always been a fan of. It’s not super common, but is easy to say and spell- I feel this is important. I also feel like it sounds preppy, smart and strong. One-syllable names, especially for a male name, have always struck me as really great. Also, we’re Canadian, and this name is of significance (in a positive way) to our country’s heritage.

However, due to the heritage, many things are named “Brock”, including our highway exit, which is where the problem comes in. We live in a small-ish community, which has two highway exits, one being Brock St. As you can imagine, there are also some businesses with Brock in their title… Brock Restaurant, Brock Laundromat etc.

I’ve grown fairly attached to the name, for all the reasons above, and also because it’s a name we can both agree on. Do you think it would be wrong to use a name that our child would hear all over the place? Does it seem odd to you? Please, crush my dreams now before I get too attached, if that’s the case! :)

Other details: we plan on having only one child, and we hate creative spellings.

Thanks so much,

Are you planning to stay permanently where you live now, or is it fairly likely you’ll eventually move? And is the Brock St. exit area a NICE area, or a dicey one? If it’s considered a nice area, and if you might move away from there anyway, I don’t think you have to rule out the name; even if you’re not likely to move, I think it’s still within the realm of okay. Definitely it’s something to weigh into the decision, though: if it came down to two names you liked equally well, and one had the location baggage and the other one didn’t, I’d go with the one that didn’t.

On the other hand, my guess is that a small child would get a huge kick out of seeing his name all over the place, and you’d have so much fun collecting photos and items with his name on them. I’m imagining decorating a nursery with large photos you’ve taken of just the “Brock” part of various business names, street signs, exit signs, etc. And if you DO move away, it’ll be a very pleasant association with where he was born. Hmm, that is swaying me back the other direction. I’m imagining if someone in the U.S. lived near a Lincoln St. exit and wanted to name a child Lincoln. I think the reaction to that would be mostly positive.

Am I right that the Brock association is with Isaac Brock? If so, I notice that the name Isaac shares an end-sound with Brock. It loses both the preppiness and the alliteration, and it’s more common and also harder to spell, and it has two syllables and it’s a completely different style over all—so in short it’s not a likely candidate. But I thought I would mention it anyway, since it does keep the heritage and that hard-C sound, and I like it with your surname. Isaac Barlow.

Or we could look around for other names that capture more of the style and sound of Brock: Burke, Ross, Drake, Derek, Dean, Bryce, Beck, Blake, Brant, Brooks, Barrett, Lachlan, Declan.

Another possibility you’ve no doubt considered is using Brock as the middle name. The middle name position is a great place for names you love that, for whatever reason, don’t work as the first name. _____ Brock Barlow keeps the alliteration and the heritage, but lets go of the laundromat and the exit.

The more I think about it, though, the less it feels like it’s a problem. It seems like it would be a positive and fun association, and at worst he’d get a little weary of saying, “Yes, like the street.” I think we should have a poll over to the right, to make sure I’m not just getting swayed by the fun nursery decor. [Poll closed; see results below.]

Poll results for “How are you feeling about a baby named Brock living near the Brock St. exit?” (357 votes total):

I think it’s fun and cool! – 204 votes (57%)
Fine, but better to find something else – 80 votes (22%)
I don’t like the idea – 45 votes (13%)
I can’t decide –  28 votes (8%)

Earlier today I posted a question about the pronunciation of Cecily, and I misunderstood the question: I thought it was asking if the name was SESS-sih-lee or SUSS-sih-lee—but in fact it was asking if the emphasis is on the first syllable (CEC-ily) or on the second (ce-CIL-y—like Cecilia). So let’s scrap that old poll and have a new poll over to the right. [Poll closed; see results below.]

My answer to the question is that the emphasis is on the first syllable. Cecile is seh-SEEL, Cecilia is seh-SEEL-lee-ah, but Cecily is SESS-sih-lee (rhymes with messily).

Katie writes:

I noticed that you recommend the name Cecily a lot. It’s one of my favourite names to look at but I can’t figure out if it’s pronounced Cess-a-lee or Suh-see-lee. Which one would be the more common, “go to” pronunciation?

I say it Sess-ah-lee—and would not recommend the name if I thought it were pronounced with a Suss. Let’s have a poll over to the right!

[Never mind! I misunderstood the question! See new post/poll!]

Modessa writes:

First, some background, which you are free to edit out if you choose to publish my question:

Long-time reader, first-time writer because….I’m not actually pregnant yet.  My husband and I are, however, planning to start trying to conceive at the end of this year and I’m already enjoying mulling over potential names.

I’m particularly sensitive to the significance of names because I have never met anyone with my name (although I am named for my paternal grandmother) and I’ve never found my name in a baby name book.  While I was mildly frustrated as a kid that I couldn’t ever buy personalized pencils or those license plates they sell at gift shops, I quickly grew out of that and now love having a unique name with a family history.  I do not, however, tend to like names with “creative” spellings.

If we have a daughter, my husband and I are are strongly inclined to name her after my eldest sister, Catey Lynn.  Catey is pronounced like Katie; my mother chose this spelling so that Catey would have the same initials as her grandfather.

Here’s the dilemma (finally):

I would like to use the name Caitlin to honor my sister and I prefer that spelling.  I’m torn, though, because I agree with the point you have made that the honor of a namesake decreases the further away you get from the actual name of the honoree.

Spelling the name Catelyn would be truer to my sister’s name, but I don’t want people to look at the name and assume it is “creative.”  Many of the negative reactions to names with y’s that are perceived as “creative” are summed up in this past post: https://www.swistle.com/babynames/2008/08/05/the-y-spelling-phenomenon

Then again, the “creative” phenomenon is popular, so presumably many people would react positively to the name?  I looked up the spelling Catelyn on the SSA database, and it isn’t in the top 1000 names for the past 13 years.  When I looked up Caitlin, I was surprised to see that the spelling Kaitlyn is significantly more popular.

I would love to get your and your readers’ input on my dilemma and promise to send an update if/when I have a daughter.  Also, if this makes a difference, the middle name would be Jane (my mother’s middle name) and she would be given my husband’s last name, which is similar to Pristorius, so the choice is between:

Caitlin Jane Pristorius
Catelyn Jane Pristorius

All the best,
Modessa

PS:  Even more detail, but I can’t help myself!  Part of my preference for the spelling Caitlin is that I perceive it as being more traditional, and I have always appreciated having one unusual name and a traditionally spelled last name (which is why I kept my maiden name).  My husband and I have already decided to give our children his name, which is unusual and frequently misspelled.  Would I be setting my daughter up for endless frustration if I gave her two unusual names?  Given that the spelling Kaitlyn is more popular than Caitlin now, it seems like she is going to have to spell her first name out for people regardless of whether we choose Caitlin or Catelyn.  I could go back and forth forever, which is why I need feedback from someone with a neutral perspective.

There are two broad categories of names spelled with the letter Y: those that happen to be spelled with a Y, and those where a Y has been put in place of the usual letter in order to change the appearance/style of the name. An easy example is Emily: clearly that’s name spelled with a Y, not a Y spelling. A slightly more difficult example is Evelyn—but again, that’s not a Y-spelling, it’s just a name with a Y in it. Same with Peyton, Layla, Lydia, and Taylor: not Y-spellings. Emylie and Evylyn, on the other hand, are Y spellings.

The line between the two categories can get blurry. Is Mikayla a Y spelling, or not? Michaela is the original spelling, and yet Mikayla FEELS like an alternate spelling to me, not like a Y-spelling. Sometimes a spelling starts out as a Y-spelling but then becomes a standard alternate spelling, losing its connotation of Y-for-creativity. To be “a Y-spelling,” there needs to be the feeling that the name was spelled with a Y on purpose to make it special in some way: more unusual, or more feminine. Madisynne, for example, or Kamryn.

All this is to say that although Caitlin is the original spelling, I think of pretty much all -lyn names as alternate spellings, not Y spellings. It doesn’t look creative to me to use Caitlyn or Katelyn instead: perhaps those seemed Y-spellingish when they first emerged, but now they just seem like other ways to spell the name. There is even room to argue that the -lyn is more appropriate, since the original spelling Caitlin was pronounced more like Cat-leen or Cath-leen. Or it could be argued that there are two sound-alike names here: that Caitlin is Irish, but that Katelyn is Kate + Lynn (like Maryanne or Marybeth) and can be spelled a variety of ways (like Marianne and Maribeth).

So that’s my first point: I think you can spell Caitlin with a -lyn and not come across as someone who would use Madysyn. Many spellings of Katelyn/Caitlin are currently accepted as natural, non-creative spellings; you’d probably have to go to something like Kaytelinn before you’d activate the sensors. If anyone’s eyebrows did twitch, the explanation of the reasons behind the spelling ought to take care of that.

My second point has to do with the honor factor. I agree that Catelyn seems like the most honor-y choice—but I’d say that going with Caitlin wouldn’t make a huge difference. When someone wants to name a daughter Madison after Grandma Mildred, I wonder if they’ve considered how honored they’d feel by that if they were Grandma Mildred. But if someone names a daughter Catherine after Grandma Cathryn, it seems like a much smaller step away. And since you’re already going from Catey Lynn to Caitlin/Catelyn, the spelling difference feels like it’s tied to the name change rather than being a second step away.

In short, I feel like both choices are good choices for different reasons. You’re a bit stuck here: you don’t like creative spellings, but you want to honor someone with a creatively spelled name; neither option is going to fully satisfy both preferences. I think if I were you, it would come down to weighing the things that make the spellings different, to see which feels closer to what you want: the stronger connection to your sister’s name on one hand, the original/traditional spelling on the other hand. I’m not sure which way I’d go if it were me. I might use Catey Lynn!

As for having two names she’ll have to spell, I’m afraid she’s stuck with that no matter what: there are just so many ways to spell Caitlin. But I don’t think of it as a huge deal: I think it’s so common now for people to have to spell both.

H. writes:

My due date is April 7th & I have a major issue with my husband wanting a Jr.  This is the 1st time I ever found out what we were having before they were born.  We are having a boy.
I have 2 children Mason Lee & Merissa Julia.  My husband wants Jeffrey Jason Cross Jr. or Jeffrey Ralph Cross Jr. or an “M” name.  I will never agree to either one of the Jeffrey’s.  We already have a son, I don’t like the idea of Jr.’s & most importantly I don’t like the name Jeffrey at all!  He is the Jeffrey Jason & his Dad is Jeffrey Ralph.  Ralph is his grandfathers name.  If you could pick any boy “M” name, what would you choose?  I want to knock his socks of with an “M” name!  I loved when you chose Declan.  I did bring that name up, but of course my husband shot that down because it wasn’t Jeffrey or an “M”.  If it is any help me kids picked Toby & they actually agreed on it??!!  They don’t agree on anything.  Of course my husband turned that down as well.

Thank you for your time

If you don’t like the idea of a junior and you don’t like the name Jeffrey, then that name is off the table. This does not mean that now you need to scramble to find something your husband likes better than Jeffrey. Instead it means that you and your husband now both need to work to find the name the two of you like best from the remaining candidates. Perhaps if it’s very important to your husband, you might agree to use Jeffrey, Jason, or Ralph as a middle name.

(As an aside, a junior is given the same entire name as his father. So if you were going to have a junior, the child’s name would be Jeffrey Jason Cross Jr. If your husband wanted instead to name his son after his father, the child’s name could be Jeffrey Ralph Cross II.)

Do you agree to using an M name? If you don’t, that too is off the table (or rather, is still on the table as an issue the two of you would need to decide on before you can go on to choose the name). I feel as if we’ve had a run recently on “one parent absolutely insisting on something the other parent doesn’t want,” and it’s making me cranky. The decision is up to both parents, and both parents are responsible for finding the agreed-upon name. One parent may willingly choose to go along with the other parent’s preference—but it isn’t right or fair for one parent to make a declaration and insist the other parent submit to that declaration. If you are willing to use an M name, then we can find a good M name. If you would prefer to break the M streak, then that is fine too, and you and your husband would then both turn to the task of finding the name the two of you liked best from the entire pool of non-Jeffrey, non-M names.

If you like Declan, I suggest Malcolm. Malcolm Cross; Mason, Merissa, and Malcolm.

One of my own favorite M names is Milo. Milo Cross; Mason, Merissa, and Milo. Or Miles would be nice.

Another of my favorites is Miller. Miller Cross; Mason, Merissa, and Miller.

Miller reminds me of Meyer. Meyer Cross; Mason, Merissa, and Meyer.

Maxwell seems like a good brother name for Mason. Maxwell Cross; Mason, Merissa, and Maxwell.

The name Matthew is an enduring favorite. Matthew Cross; Mason, Merissa, and Matthew. Matthias would make it a little more unusual.

Or there’s Merit/Merritt. Merritt Cross; Mason, Merissa, and Merritt.

But if you look through all the M names in the book and you don’t find any you like, there are other ways to coordinate the sibling set. Mason and Merissa share not only an M but also an A and an S, so a name like Samuel would work very nicely. Samuel Cross; Mason, Merissa, and Samuel.

I’ve thought the names Mason and Sawyer would go together well: both surname names, and both tradesman names. Sawyer Cross; Mason, Merissa, and Sawyer.

Or something like Jacob: it repeats the number of letters and the vowel sounds of Mason, and J and M are close together in the alphabet. Jacob Cross; Mason, Merissa, and Jacob. (Jake Cross could sound like Jay Cross or Jake Ross, but neither is a negative/embarrassing mistake.)

Anna writes:

We are expecing our second and final baby – a girl in March and are in need of help with finding a middle name.  A little background, my name is Anna Mary (named after my paternal granmother), my husband’s name is Eric Joseph and our son’s name is Graham Joesph.  Our last name sounds like Merlot.

We aren’t sold on the baby’s first name, but we are pretty sure it will either be Brynn, Hollis, or Hadley.  Here lies the problem… since my son’s middle name honors my husband and his father, I really want to incorporate my father’s name somehow.  His name you ask?  Vyto Anthony!  We have tried Vita and don’t prefer it. We also thought of Vianna (honoring my father, his mother and myself at the same time).  We are thinking a name simply starting with “V” will do the trick, but I would like to find one with a little more meaning if possible.   Other family names that can be incorporated with the “V” would be Brennan (or any similar variation) or Lee.  Can you help with any other suggestions? Is there another total direction to go in that we haven’t thought of?  We just can’t seem to find the right fit.

My first suggestion is to use the female form of Anthony: Antonia. I think it’s a very pretty name. The main issue is whether your father will feel honored by that. My middle name is Nicole, which gives me a good parallel: I’m imagining if I had a grandson with the middle name Nicholas “after me,” would I feel like it was after me? A little bit, but not a lot. Even less so if a grandchild’s name shared only the first initial of my first name: I would not want to seem ungrateful for the intended honor, but the middle name Keegan (my first name is Kristen) doesn’t seem like it would feel connected to my name at all. You can try this exercise yourself, too, since these feelings would vary considerably from person to person and from family to family: how honored would you feel by a grandson given the middle name Mario? a grandson given the middle name Alexander?

I prefer my second suggestion: since your son’s name honors two male family members from your husband’s side, could your daughter’s name honor a female family member or two from your side? For example, you and your grandmother? Brynn Mary Merlot, or Hollis Mary Merlot, or Hadley Mary Merlot. (I also like Hollis Anna and Hadley Anna, but didn’t want the initials to spell HAM.) This would partially honor your dad as well, since the name comes from his mother.

But if you are set on using your father’s name, and you think he’d feel honored by the use of his initial, then I suggest the name Violet. It shares several letters and sounds with Vyto.

Gabi writes:

Hi there!

So…apparently we are very indecisive people when it comes to names.  There are so many names I love I find it hard to discard anything off our list until I’m sure it doesn’t fit. Needless to say, this has left us with way too many possibilities! Your blog helped us name our first daughter, Eliza Cynthia, now 3, and we have been extremely happy. It was a hands down favorite of yours and your commenters, and that was all the encouragement we needed to pull the trigger. We get compliments on her name all the time. Now we are expecting our second in early March and are seeking guidance once again. Gender will be a surprise, which of course makes the name choosing a bit harder. I don’t believe that there is one perfect name out there for any given child, but I do want to have it narrowed down to a handful of possibilities before the baby is actually born!
            There is really only one condition we have to stick to which is that the middle name will be Dow no matter what the sex (family name, usually given to first born son, but seeing as how we may never have a son…). Other than that we are open. Our last name is Edgerton…rather long and sometimes difficult to pronounce (think edge, as in edge of a sword rather than Edgarton or Eggerton, which we get a lot). As you will see from our lists I’m not sure we have a clear favorite when it comes to naming styles. Name popularity bothers me less for boys names than for girls names, but in either case a name being popular is not a deal breaker for us. I would be interested to hear if you can detect a theme and then identify those names that don’t seem to fit–this would be a hint to me that they made the list because they are interesting rather than “our style”.
            Anyway, without further ado, here are our (already extensively culled) lists:

Girl:

Hazel (current front-runner)
Anna
Gwenyth (nn Gwen; husband doesn’t like)
Josephine (another favorite, nn Joey)
Campbell (nn Benny…don’t know why, but this makes perfect sense in my head)
Aila (another favorite)
Sabine
Simone
Hadley
Amy
Madelyn

Boy:

Jacob (nn Jack; current front-runner and a family name…yes I realize its uber popular)
Asa (another favorite)
Alexander (another favorite)
Andrew
Matthew
Owen
Nathaniel
Calvin
Logan

Thanks in advance!

Oh, what a fun request! I can see this as a regular feature called “Cull My List!” Okay, if I were culling your lists, here’s how I’d do them (in my own order of favorite):

Girl:
Simone
Josephine
Anna
Hazel

Boy:
Calvin
Nathaniel
Jacob

How’s that?

Here’s what I did: I paired each name with Eliza, but also looked at the group of names to see which ones stood out as likely style outliers. So for example, in the girl name list, Amy is the only one that feels like a Mom Name, and Campbell and Hadley are modern boyish surname names in a sea of traditionally female first names. I took out Aila because “Aila and Eliza” seem very similar to me: Aila is almost like just removing the Z from Eliza. And yet Aila is also too DISsimilar with Eliza, reminding me of more modern names such as Kayla. I also took out Gwenyth because your husband doesn’t like it. And so on.

Then I tried each name with the surname. Most of them were fine with the surname, but when I said them all at once in a list, I noticed that some seemed better than others. Alexander Edgerton seems like I went on saying it for quite a long time; it reminded me of Laura Wattenberg’s remark in her book The Baby Name Wizard that she liked the name Kennedy but that Kennedy Wattenberg sounded “like someone falling down stairs.” Owen Edgerton feels like it runs together. Logan Edgerton seems like the non-matching G’s would make it even more difficult to get people to pronounce the surname correctly. And so on: all of these would be completely fine if you used them, but the goal was to cull so I erred on the side of culling.

Sometimes I ended up putting names back on. For example, I took out Josephine and Nathaniel for being too long, and Anna for being a bit run-together with the surname—but then I put them both back in because of how well I thought both names went with Eliza and how minor the other issues seemed in comparison to that. And then when I was re-reading the lists, Josephine and Nathaniel didn’t seem too long anyway, and Anna seemed rather striking with the surname, and anyway this is what makes my own lists end up LONGER when I’m done.

I also took out Simone just because I felt like it didn’t fit the list somehow, but then when I tried it with Eliza I was kind of blown away by that combination: Eliza and Simone! Now that’s probably my favorite of the girl names. It is not perhaps ideal with the middle name Dow, but I didn’t take that much into consideration: since the middle name is absolutely set, I assumed that all the names on your lists were acceptable to you with the middle name.

I probably would have eliminated Hazel if it weren’t a front-runner. It has five letters like Eliza, and four of the five are duplicate letters, and the matching Z’s were immediately noticeable. These issues could make the names beautifully matched, or could really put the pressure on if you might need to name a third child.

One thing that’s fun about having someone else cull a list is that their choices can reveal to you your own preferences: if your heart sank at seeing I culled a particular name, that might mean it should be immediately UNculled.

Would anyone else like to try their hand at culling the lists?

Lindsay writes:

I hope you can help us. We are expecting our 2nd daughter in February 17. She will join big sister Harley Anne and likely complete our family. Our surname is Miller and flows with most names which is nice.

 

A quick history on Harley. Both of her names are honor family names. Harley is my husband’s grandfather and Anne is my sister’s middle name. My sister named her daughter after our grandfather and my middle name (Ashton Brooke.) Very neat for the cousins to share this-named after great grandfathers and aunts. When I got pregnant I was immediately sure of 3 things:

1. I was having a boy.

2. We weren’t telling potential names to our families.

3. If by some crazy chance it was a girl, she would be Emma Claire.

 

Then in the excitement of sharing pregnancy news with my family, I blurted out the girl name: Emma Claire since I wouldn’t be using it…Big Mistake. They hated that Emma was so popular, they did love Claire, blah, blah. Of course then I found out I was having a girl and all they said for the rest of the pregnancy was “no Emma!” We had developed Harley Anne as our back-up name and now love it and couldn’t imagine our daughter as anything else. We call her by a mix of both Harley and Harley Anne as I do like double names.

 

If we were having a boy this time around he would be Henry Thomas, not because Henry and Harley go so well together, which they do, but because both are family names and with names that have potential nicknames I have to like the nickname and I do like Hank. The problem for Baby Sister is that we are out of family names that we both love. My husband likes the idea of Mary as our 3 Grandmothers (one on mine and both on husband) were Mary, but Mary Miller is slightly sing-songy for me and it doesn’t work with Claire without sounding like the magazine and I have come to love Claire. Nevertheless, I wanted to support  him so I identified Belle as a possible middle name with a family history (my great grandmother.) I keep coming back to Emma Claire but Emma continues to be so popular and the family story may have ruined it for me. What if she heard that and thought her name wasn’t special? I love Audrey Claire and Audrey is a family name on my side, unique and goes with Harley. Of course husband doesn’t love Audrey.

 

We definitely don’t want a Harper, Harlow or any of the other popular H names. And if we aren’t using Emma due to the popularity of it I would just as soon stay away from the other top ten of Isabelle, Sophia, etc. I could use Claire as the first name but struggling with a middle name to accompany.

 

So our options as they stand: Emma Claire; Mary Belle; and Audrey Claire with each of us pulling for one and my family rooting against the one we both like and keep coming back to.

 

Help us so Harley’s baby sister can have a name of her own! Any suggestions welcome!

When I read that you like Emma and Mary, the name Emery/Emory came to mind. Emory Claire Miller; Harley and Emory.

Since you were considering Henry for a boy, I wonder if you would like Henrietta for a girl? It has the nicknames Henry and Hattie and Etta and Hennie. Harley Anne and Etta Claire, perhaps.

Mary seems like such a startling style change from Harley. And I agree: putting it with Claire immediately brings the magazine to mind. But I love that one name could honor three grandmothers! And the magazine isn’t a negative association. But it’s too bad I can’t add “And the two names will hardly ever be said together, either.” Hm. Mary and Claire share the same middle sound; I wonder if Mary could take the middle name slot instead of Claire, or if that would be too painful at this point? Mary coordinates so well with Harley’s middle name Anne. But it doesn’t settle into the middle name position as well as Claire does. Well, it’s a dilemma.

Do you have any more grandfather names to consider?

Your family would likely come around to the name Emma, but I agree that the name story is one that would require some spin (or ideally silence, but your family sounds quite vocal). And as with the name Mary, the name Emma seems a bit startling after the name Harley. I wonder if you’d like a variation such as Emlyn? Harley Anne and Emlyn Claire.

Or Emerson? Harley Anne and Emerson Claire.

Or Emberley: Harley Anne and Emberley Claire. The spelling Emberly was slightly more popular in the U.S. in 2011, according to the Social Security Administration: 62 Emberlys and only 15 Emberleys. I prefer Emberley because of the connection to the artist Ed Emberley. There’s also Emberleigh, which makes me think of Everleigh/Everly. Harley Anne and Everly Claire. With all these options, though, the double -rley endings might be too much. Maybe Emberlyn instead? Harley Anne and Emberlyn Claire.

Audrey has been increasing in popularity (it was #43 in 2011), but Audra is still uncommon (not in the top 1000 in 2011). Harley Anne and Audra Claire.