Jordan writes:

We’re due with our first child on Sept 21st and we CANNOT figure out a boy’s name. We’ve got a girl’s name picked, but are struggling MIGHTILY with t’other. And since apparently everyone and their mom thinks I’m having a boy (up to and including the lovely woman behind the counter at Qdoba, who couldn’t speak a lick of English, but nevertheless assured me that it was indeed a niño) I suppose we had better get a good name picked.

Ok, the important info is as follows: our last name is Smelker, we’re partial to the middle name Loren (after my husband’s dad…we’ve thought about using it for a first name, but aren’t sure…) and I’d like to avoid anything that ends in -er. We don’t want anything too popular or common, but also want to stay away from the really esoteric names like Dweezil or Pilot Inspektor. My current favorite is Phineas, which husband also likes, but he’s thinking more for middle name while I’m thinking first name. (We’d go with the nickname Finn…) Husband’s current and long-time champion favorite is Abram, which for some reason I can’t STAND. (Well, I know one reason why I can’t stand it–the nickname Abe makes me want to chew tinfoil.) Other names we like include:

Emerson
Aaric
Graysen
Sullivan (husband likes this one–I can’t help but dislike both the alliteration and the nickname Sully.)
Arden
Fintan

Of course, none of these has yet proven to be “the one”, but hopefully they give you an idea what we like!

These things are hard to predict, of course, but I’d say Emerson is going to be like the name Mackenzie: first used for both boys and girls, but now used almost exclusively for girls. It’s unfair in both cases, I know, since both -son and Mac- are supposed to indicate a BOY—but not in the U.S., they don’t. (See also: Allison, Madison, Mckayla, Mckenna.) Grayson/Greyson is still considered a boy name, but is getting girled into versions such as Gracen and Graceyn.

Instead I suggest Anderson or Harrison: they have the rhythm of Sullivan (without Sully or alliteration) and the -son ending of Emerson and Grayson. Edison, too: sounds like Emerson, but so far the Eddie nickname is keeping it all boy. And I think my favorite -son name is Lawson, but that may or may not be because of a cute boy I went to high school with who went by his surname Lawson. Ooo, or Carson, I like Carson: it was being used increasingly for girls in the late ’90s but since then has been dropping like a stone for girls and rising up for boys.

Emerson makes me think of Emmett: despite the matching Em- beginnings, Emmett isn’t being used for girls so far.

Aaric and Arden together made me think of Aidric. I like how it blends Eric (getting to be a bit of a Dad Name) and Aidan (one of the Caden/Jaden/Hayden/Brayden cluster) in a way that gets rid of the slight problems with both.

You like Phineas and Fintan, so I wonder if you’d like Finian or Griffin.

J. writes:

I need help. My son was born 3 months ago. His name is William George Karsten V. We are calling him Will or William. My husband is the 4th and goes by Bill. Neither of us felt strongly about the name, just didn’t think of anything else and decided it would be nice to carry on. He was born on May 9, 2010. This was a nice date because it was mother’s day and also my paternal grandfather’s birthday. His name was Fagan Smith and he passed away 16 years ago. My father’s middle name is Fagan. He had only daughters . From the first week I came home from the hospital I have wanted to add Fagan to Will’s name making it William George Fagan Karsten. This would honor both my husband’s father who is the 3rd and still living and my grandfather with whom Will shares a birthday. But…it would take away the honor of being the V. I don’t want to hurt my father in law’s feelings. I just really would love to honor my grandfather that way. He would still have the whole name, just a little extra. Add to this the fact that my husband’s parents divorced when he was a toddler. We have wonderful relationships with both his mother’s and father’s families and mine too. Should I add Fagan as a second middle name? I have thought about it so much it’s all muddled! I kind of think I would also like Will to have something that distinguishes him from the others with his name.
Thank you for your help! I need to move on and spend my time loving this sweet baby boy!!!!

I think you should leave his name as it is. Adding Fagan would remove the V—and while I wish families wouldn’t start naming traditions like this, once they HAVE, and once you’ve agreed to do it, I think messing with it will cause problems. And particularly if you change it now, after the child has already been named and everyone has breathed a sigh of relief that the tradition has been continued.

While it would be nice to honor your grandfather, he is not alive to receive the honor, and the name is not a strong tradition in your family: it’s your father’s MIDDLE name, and you haven’t mentioned any tradition of passing it down. And as a name to be passed down, it’s an awkward one for a boy. If you have more children, you can honor a name (or even two names) from your side of the family then—and in fact Fagan might work better for a girl, reminiscent of both Fay and Maegan. Smith, too, would make a good first name for a boy, and would honor that whole branch of your family.

It may help to remember that although naming a child after a relative IS an honor, it’s not the only way to honor someone you love—and it doesn’t convey DIShonor to NOT use a name. It would have been fun to use the coincidence of your son being born on your grandfather’s birthday, but it’s also fun just that he WAS born on the birthday, even if you don’t commemorate that by using your grandfather’s name. It’s common to have some Namer’s Uncertainty after a baby is born, but you have given your son a wonderful solid name that will serve him well his whole life as well as pleasing your husband’s family. My advice is to leave it.

Valerie writes:

Our baby boy is due in 2 weeks! My husband and I have been volleying names back and forth since the 20 week ultrasound and haven’t come up with an agreed upon name. Here are some of the pertinent facts:

Our daughter’s name is Berkeley Rose
Our new son’s middle name and last name will be Alan Gross
Since our son’s initials will end with “AG”, we need to eliminate any name starting with F, and be cautious of other letters
We want something that is unique, but not un-pronounceable or easily misspelled.
We’d like it to match Berkeley, in a way that it is a name that people know, but not many kids are named.

Some of our contenders include:

Keaton – this is my husband’s favorite, but I’m worried it will rise in popularity, especially with the -on ending
Dashiell – we both like it, but are worried about mispronunciation/spelling
Tegan – I like it, my husband doesn’t
Milen – I like it, my husband doesn’t
Milo – my husband hates it, but I love it.

The biggest issue for us, is that we can’t come together on any names!! Please help us, if you can!! I’m desperate to get the name checked off my list. Thanks!

I like Keaton with Berkeley. It’s hard to predict what a name will do, but a good sign is that it appeared on the Top 1000 three years after Family Ties started airing, but it’s spent the last thirteen years hovering in the 300s and not climbing any higher (source: Social Security Administration).

More possibilities (I’m avoiding GAG, HAG, NAG, RAG, and VAG as well as FAG—and I’m not sure about BAG, LAG, SAG, and WAG):

Barnaby Alan Gross (BAG)
Cabot Alan Gross (CAG)
Caspian Alan Gross (CAG)
Crockett Alan Gross (CAG)
Darwin Alan Gross (DAG)
Deacon Alan Gross (DAG)
Everest Alan Gross (EAG)
Langston Alan Gross (LAG)
Lennox Alan Gross (LAG)
Maguire Alan Gross (MAG)
Orion Alan Gross (OAG)
Sullivan Alan Gross (SAG)
Truman Alan Gross (TAG)
Walker Alan Gross (WAG)
Warner Alan Gross (WAG)

Suzanne writes:

We were delighted to find out that we are expecting our 3rd child. What a great joy! And what a great pain in the rear for picking a name.

Due Date is September 10, 2010 and as with the other two, gender will be a surprise.

Our first two children are daughter Allison Louise and son Peter David. All of our previous “rules” still apply: No colors, easy to spell & pronounce, 2+ syllables, no cross-gender names, and preferably has a nice nickname option.

Naming this baby is going to be a huge challenge. We only barely came up with Allison’s name in the delivery room. And Peter’s name was a given from the start so we never considered other boy names. What I’m saying is that we are short on ideas. I love the comments your readers gave previously and we are still strongly in favor of Megan and Caroline. I also really love the suggestion of Jenna. Laurel is great but we have a niece Lauren and it’s probably too similar. Someone else suggested Penelope and I really like that (Poppy) but I’m not sure hubby would agree.

We both prefer fairly traditional names and aren’t into trendy or popular. Peter was a perfect choice for us in this regard – easy to spell and pronounce, well known but not overused.

So we have a lot to consider for girls names and I think now we will still need help with a boy’s name since we never even really discussed it.

Boy names we’ve tossed around:

Andrew

Eric

Elliot (hubby doesn’t like it too much)

Henry

Jonathan (my father’s name – I love it but wonder if it’s too strange to name after a living grandfather)

Marshall

Nathan

Names that are off the table – Benjamin, Owen, Charles, Daniel, Michael, Kevin

We really need some new insight. We’ve been over the girl’s name a thousand times with the prior pregnancies and boys names are a complete mystery.

Thank you so much for your help!

 
I vote for Jonathan! It’s great with Peter and Allison, and I like family names. I have personal experience with naming a child after one of the child’s living grandparents and it has worked out GREAT. And perhaps a name from your husband’s side of the family for the middle name.

Jasmine writes:

I don’t want this to seem flippant, but I’m having some trouble naming my parakeet and I thought it might be fun for you/the site readers to enjoy.

Here’s the problem: my parakeet is a boy. All the boy names I would consider for a pet are also names I would consider for Potential Future Offspring, and I don’t want to “waste” my good names on a pet. The names I like tend to be offbeat and quirky: Zeke, Bruno, Rufus. I’d like to name him something that is an actual people name, or something that sounds like it could be. One name I considered is Zuke (short for Zucchini), but he’s blue instead of green like most parakeets, so I’m not sure if this is weird.

I also like names that have a meaning. With pets, this also extends to puns. I’ve considered Marty McFly and Conrad Birdie, but I’m not really settled on either of them.

Since he’s my first pet that’s entirely mine, I was thinking this could be an opportunity to come up with a fun, loose “theme” that I can use to name future pets. I’ve contemplated authors (Gabriel Garcia Marquez, “Markie” for short), 80’s movie characters (Marty McFly), and characters from books (Pip, but that would quickly become “Pippy”, a girl’s name).

Anyway, if this is too silly to post, don’t, but I’d at least love your input. I recently read that you’re trying to name your cat Bonnet, which I think is adorable, and I thought you might be able to provide a little insight.

Thanks!

Indeed, I empathize: we’ve had our kitten for three and a half weeks and she is still nameless. And this does seem like a nice change of pace from naming babies. Would anyone like to name a parakeet?

Stephanie writes:

We just found out that our identical twins are BOYS. Yay! Unfortunately, we also found out that they are very sick. They aren’t due until early December, but we are having surgery on Monday to try and correct their diagnosis and give them both a fighting chance. Their prognosis is as good as it can be, given the situation, but we feel it’s important to name them before surgery for several reasons. One, it makes us feel closer to our sons and two, well, just in case.

We have one daughter, Amelia Marty and we call her Mia. We don’t care too much if the boys’ names go well with hers, but it gives you an idea of the style we like. We chose Amelia because it was a classic name, not too common (yet??) and it’s a family name for us. I always thought we would choose really unique names but when we look at our final list, you’ll see we really tend towards more classic names.

We’ve got one twin named: Miles. We’ve always loved this name and it was our boy name for Amelia (gender was a surprise until d-day). His middle name will be Jeffrey or ______. I say “or” because if one twin doesn’t survive, my husband wants the surviving twin’s middle name to honor his brother. I think it’s a sweet idea and I’m on board, although it’s complicating things.

We also have a middle name for Baby B. It will be Keith or ______. Jeffrey and Keith are our fathers.

The names on our current list are (in no particular order):
*William
*Henry
*Charles
*Grayson

We both like William, but we’re not sure how “Will Marty” sounds and we think we will call him by a nickname. Also, it’s just not sticking with us as “the one.” One major plus of the name is that it works with the middle name situation (i.e., William Keith Marty, Miles William Marty, or William Miles Marty all sound good to us).

Same goes for Henry…we don’t love the nickname options, which is fine, but also the name just isn’t sticking as “the one.” It does work with the middle name situation, so again a plus for Henry.

We both loved Charles, calling him Charlie, but I think we’ve eliminated it due to the middle name situation. It just doesn’t work with Miles if we end up needing to use it that way.

We both like Grayson, but it just seems SO different from Amelia and Miles and not really us. It does work with the middle name situation…

There have been LOTS of names we’ve looked at and said no to. For example:
*Jack: love it but too common and we have close friends naming their son Jack next month – we hate to name our son Jack and not have him survive – seems awkward for us and our friends.
*Marcus: don’t like the nickname of Mark.
*Truman: We really liked this and then decided it wasn’t us. The nickname “Tru” didn’t help its cause.

Thanks so much for your help. I know it’s VERY short notice and if you don’t have time to get to it, I completely understand. Also, I hope everything makes sense – I’m writing you at 2am because I can’t sleep, which doesn’t bode well for clarity and grammar. :)

I like Elias. Miles and Elias. Elias Keith Marty. And, if necessary, Miles Elias Marty or Elias Miles Marty. I like a little bit of matchiness to twin names, and it appeals to me that both names have five letters, share the long-I sound, and end in S. In fact, they have four letters in common—and yet they’re very different-sounding names: different initial, different number of syllables.

Another name with the same number of letters and the same long-I sound is Isaac. (I swear I’m not LOOKING for only that sort of name, but I keep finding one that sounds nice and then noticing the things that match.) Isaac Keith Marty. Miles and Isaac—and, if necessary, Miles Isaac Marty or Isaac Miles Marty.

I like Owen and Oliver, too, and I hesitate only because Miles Owen/Oliver Marty has the initials “MOM” and I don’t like initials to spell things.

One of my favorite boy names is Elliot. Elliot Keith Marty. Miles and Elliot—and, if necessary, Miles Elliot Marty or Elliot Miles Marty.

Allison writes:

Please help us! We are due in a week and still without a clue of what to name our second son. My husband is not very helpful in naming discussions. He rejects all my names and seems to have a very clear idea in his mind for a name but the only name he’s actually suggested is Jackson (which I hate).

I like names like Matthew, Brandon, Cody, and Liam. Matthew is definitely my top name I love it so much, but can’t use it because three of our friends have young sons named Matthew and I don’t want just another Matthew to add to the crowd. But I really love that name, so if you know of any names similar to Matthew, that would be so helpful.

We don’t want any very trendy names, or weird spellings, but we are okay if they are common, as long as they aren’t too bland. It has to be at least two syllables so it won’t seem choppy because our last name is one syllable (it starts with a vowel and has a very sharp consonant sound).

Also, as one last bonus, if you know of any names of German heritage that are still useable in America, that would be great. But it’s just something to think about that would be nice if there was one, not necessary at all.

Our son’s name is Daren, but we don’t care too much if they are really matchy, we mainly just want to find a good name for him as an individual.

Also, I’ve found that two syllable names that end in an “ee” sound sound nice with our last name (like Kirby – which my husband hates).

Oh, and if we have a girl in the future, she will be Jamie, if that helps at all.

And middle name help would be great too – we just want something that sounds good with the first name.

Help!

Thank you so much.

Let’s see, close to Matthew… Well, there’s Matthias, Matteus, and Mateo. I also think Theo has some of the sound of Matthew.

Some usable German names from the German name appendix in The Oxford Dictionary of First Names):

Anton
Arno
Erich
Evert
Frederik
Gabriel
Hartmann
Hugo
Izaak
Jakob
Jonas
Josef
Justus
Karl
Kurt (but only 1 syllable)
Leo
Leon
Lukas
Marius
Matthias
Otto
Stefan

Some other possibilities, heavy on the -ee endings:

Adam
Brady
Caleb
Camden
Carson
Casey
Connery
Eli
Evan
Grady
Hartley
Henry
Ian
Jared
Jacoby
Kyle
Mason
Nathan
Owen
Presley
Ridley
Rudy
Wesley
Wilson
Zachary

I suggest seeing if you can use Matthew as a middle name.

If possible, I recommend DEMANDING that your husband sit down with a baby name book and make a list. Naming the baby is his job too, and it’s fair to ask him to do an equal share of the work. I think too many….well, let’s say “partners,” but it’s virtually always men—think that the best job is the one where someone ELSE does all the work and THEY do all the vetoing and criticizing. If he can come up with a list, he’ll (1) give you something to WORK WITH, so you can suggest things he might also like, or better yet you might find something he likes that you also like, and (2) see what it’s like to do all that work and then have someone reject his choices, which may make him a little less quick to reject yours. If he’s anything like my husband in the early days, I suggest having handy the answer, “Because I didn’t ask for you to Make the Final Decision, I asked you to Join the Committee.” (This is for partners who think that if their opinion is asked, their opinion must then be taken.)

Jana writes:

I am REALLY stuck.

Our names are Jana Danelle McFarland and Rodney Philip McFarland, but he goes by Phil.

We’re due at the end of August with our first baby and we don’t know what we’re having.

If the baby is a girl, the name will be Adeline Grace McFarland. We both love it and are in 100% unity.

The trick is, that if the baby is a boy we have absolutely have no consensus.

Here’s the criteria we’re working with:

* We have to like the nickname, as I am not one of those people who will insist on correcting people.
* We like names that aren’t too trendy, that have a life outside of this decade, but are not terribly keen on biblical names.
* Like everyone else out there, we don’t want an odd or weird name, and we don’t want it to be too popular – almost impossible combo no?
* Oh, we also don’t like names that could be confused with being a girl – it’s important for us to have distinctly masculine name.
* I don’t think I want it to have the popular “en” sounding ending – i.e. Cohen, Aiden, Brayden, Dustin, Dylan… You get the drift.

Here’s some names we’ve liked, but have crossed out for various reasons

* I loved the name Jasper, but my husband is worried that it is too feminine and I have a little nagging fear that baby will get nicknamed Jaz (which I cannot, cannot stand). It is still in the running for a middle name. Also, for the record, I didn’t even KNOW it was a name in the Twilight series until someone told me.
* My husband likes the name Wyatt. I am impartial to it. Neither love nor hate it. Hubby loves it though.
* We’ve also considered William, but the rising popularity and the nickname “Willie” turned us off it. Also, could be used as a middle name.
* We love the name Weston, and since my dad’s name is Wesley, it would have been a nice subtle tribute. Unfortunately, we have a dog named Winston – just too close.
* As an alternative to Weston, we did like the name Easton, but see that it’s rising in popularity as a girls name.
* I like Owen, but we have friends who just used that name.
* Parker has also been on the list and off the list, but not sure if we love it or if it’s just so-so.

Anyway, I hope you can help us and really look forward to what you have to say!

Welllll…how old is the dog? Perhaps the overlap would be okay, especially if you plan to nickname the baby Wes (one of my top favorite boy nicknames). Or, since Weston ends in the -en sound, perhaps go straight for Wesley? It’s a great name.

When I’m looking for well-established, non-new, boys-only names that aren’t biblical, I look toward English royalty. Henry! Charles! Edmund! Edward! George! Richard! And John and James, while biblical as well as royal, don’t feel as distinctly biblical as, say, Elijah or Moses. Robert and Louis, I don’t think are English royalty, but I think of them as being in the same group.

I think these names can give parents a flat, “meh,” “heard it a million times” reaction at first, but then grow on them with time—especially if a good nickname is found. My mom knows a family with a son named George, and they call him Geordie. Geordie! So cute! Henry and Charles/Charlie are the two most currently in style; Edward and Edmund are next, I think; and I think George and Louis will be next after that (though Louis might get a boost now that Sandra Bullock used it for her adorbs baby). Richard and Robert, I don’t know. They don’t sound potential-tastic to me yet, but heaven knows I’ve said that about hundreds of names I later can’t believe I didn’t realize would come into style.

The name Easton isn’t in the Top 1000 for girls; for boys, it’s #252 and rising. I looked on the Social Security baby name site and found that in 2009, 19 girls were named Easton, and 1,357 boys were named Easton. In 2008, 30 girls and 1,104 boys were named Easton. To me, these aren’t “Danger, Danger, Girl Takeover Imminent” numbers: there will always be a handful of people deliberately giving their daughters “boy names.” In 2009, for example, 8 girls were named Henry, 9 girls were named Robert, 6 girls were named George, 11 girls were named John, 15 girls were named William, 14 girls were named Owen, and 18 girls were named Wyatt. BUT: the name Easton feels “of this decade” to me, AND it doesn’t meet the “not the -en ending” preference, so perhaps you want to scrap it anyway.

Sometimes I really like a repeating sound, and sometimes I don’t. In the case of Parker McFarland, I don’t like that repeating AR sound. Oh, actually, I think it’s the repeating K sound WITH the repeating AR sound I don’t like, because I like Charles McFarland just fine. And if you’re trying for boy-only names, Parker is the least boy-onlyish on the list: 597 girls named Parker in 2009, and #502 on the chart.

I really like Owen McFarland; it’s too bad your friends just used it. There’s Ian, which still has the -en ending but maybe hasn’t just been used by friends. It’s in the Top 100, but it’s been hovering in the 60s/70s/80s ranks for decades. Ian McFarland is really nice. No nickname, though.

More possibilities:

Adam McFarland
August (Auggie, Gus) McFarland
Elias (Eli) McFarland
Emmett McFarland
Hugo McFarland
Jonathan (Jon) McFarland
Kyle McFarland
Malcolm (Mal) McFarland
Simon McFarland
Spencer (Spence) McFarland
Turner McFarland

Elias is KIND OF biblical, in that it’s one translation of the name Elijah. But I think the feel of it is more…old-fashioned, down-to-earth, man-of-the-land. Elijah makes me think of prophets and sacrifices; Elias makes me think of overalls and plank floors and Elias Howe the inventor.

Simon, too, is biblical, but the best-known one gets his name changed to Peter after he converts, and the others are far less well-known. The name Simon to me has more of an intellectual, British feel, and I love it with Adeline if you have a daughter later on. It has the -en ending you’re trying to avoid and it doesn’t have an easy nickname (does Sy count?), but I still really like it for you. In fact, that’s my first choice: Simon McFarland. Maybe Simon Wesley McFarland.

Jen writes:

Hi, I’ve been really struggling with completing our baby names.
We are having our 3rd child (gender unknown) due August 7/10.
We have 2 boys: Brennan (no middle name) and Kellan Mark.

I have a very long list of maybe names and a few in the runnings but nothing is 100%.
For a boy our #1 choice is Emerson Judah BUT I’ve been hearing Emerson/Emmerson/Emersyn a lot lately and they have all been girls. Does it sound like a girly name? To me it doesn’t but I definately don’t want a girly name for a boy.
Other choices for boys are: Greyson, Paxton, Kade, Corben, Elias
For a girl our #1 name is Kalli Eden but I’m hesitant to name ‘her’ that because it is so close to Kellan. Should that be an issue?
We also love Everly for a girl but can’t find a suitable middle name for it.
Other choices for girls are: Sage, Kodi, Cairo, Sloan, Brea

Thanks!

In my opinion, Emerson is definitely going Girl. The nickname Emmy is what makes it irresistible, I think, and it’s currently used more often for girls than for boys (source: Social Security baby name site)—and names don’t usually come back to Boy once they’re mostly Girl (see also: Anne, Alice, Jocelyn, Evelyn, Leslie, Meredith, Ashley).

I’m having trouble choosing a favorite from your boy name list: I’m not sure if it would be better to choose a name with a similar rhythm and ending to Brennan and Kellan (Paxton, Corben, Greyson) or whether to deliberately break the pattern (Kade, Elias). I THINK I prefer the idea of breaking the pattern, especially if you think you might have more children in the future and would feel pressured to keep it up—but I’m not at all certain about it.

With your surname, my favorite is Elias. Maybe Elias Judah, or is that too bible-y? Elias Jude would tone that down. Or Elias Kade.

For a girl, I think Everly Sage would be nice, or Everly Sloan.

Kalli does seem very close to Kellan to me. I wonder if spelling it Calli would help? I was thinking maybe Calla, but that seems MORE like Kellan because of the A. Perhaps Kalliopi, with the nickname Kalli? Or Kallista?

Molly writes:

We are having our second daughter in August. Our first daughter is named Avery Nicewinter. Here our our four favorite options (and we aren’t set on any of them). I would appreciate some opinions!

1) Hazel (and call her Zelle)….Hazel was my grandmothers name. I would love to use a family name but we would call her Zelle.
2) Addison (and call her Addy). We think Avery & Addy sound cute together.
3) Brooklyn (I don’t want to shorten to Brooke, so we would always call her Brooklyn).
4) Mira

Thanks so much for any help!

Let’s have a poll, over to the right! [Poll closed; see results below.]

Edit: Welllll, FLIP. It looks like the poll is slightly defective, in that it is not actually accepting votes. WT? I’ll leave it up for the time being and we’ll see if the issue resolves; in the meantime, leave votes in the comments section.