Jodi writes:

I am pregnant with our fourth little one, due on February 28, and we won’t be finding out the sex. We have three girls so far: Philippa Violet (called Pippa more or less exclusively since birth), Romilly Alice (called Ro around the house), and Beatrix Joanna (called both Bea and Trix). If this one is a girl, we are more or less set on Juniper, called June or Junie for short. Our last name is Young, which is pretty easy to work with, but you have to watch the initials (Graham Angus Young might be a bit of a burden!)

If it’s a boy, we have issues. My husband is English with a Scottish mother, and we lived in Scotland for a few years, so we definitely want to stick with names that are distinctly British, and maybe less common here in America although that’s not a must.

I have had a long standing love for the name Gus, and the name Angus with nickname Gus has been a frontrunner for the last two girls, had they been boys. I love it, but it would definitely be a concession for my husband. Lately, even I’m not loving how Scottish it is compared to our girls’ very English names. We’ve considered every other possible name that can be shortened to Gus, and Angus is really the only one we both like.

My husband’s long-time favorite boys’ name is Barnaby, and I’m loving it more and more with the nickname Barnes. BUT we’ve made a conscious effort so far to avoid duplicating initials and now that we have a Beatrix… well, it’s no longer ideal. We might be willing to bend the rule for this one, but we’d rather find something that’s a perfect fit if it’s out there.

Recently we’ve been talking a lot about Simon. I love it, he just likes it, but I think it could work. It’s a lot more common than our girls’ names, but maybe that’s better for a boy?

Other names we’ve talked about (and their issues), just to give you a feel for our taste: Thaddeus (but we don’t love any of its nicknames), Graham (sounds a little too plain to his Bristish ear), Oliver and Sebastian (both getting too popular for our liking).

We’ll use a family middle name, probably one of these: Merit, Hopkins, or Murray; but there are others if none of those fit with the first name we choose.

Can you tell we’ve thought about this *way* too much? I think having three girls has just made us insecure in our ability to choose a boys’ name, and maybe all the ones we used to love have gone a little stale from years of disuse :) Anyway, I would welcome any thoughts on these names or additions to the list.

Just as with Friday’s post, I have to beg for reader assistance: Is there a Brit in the house?

I’ll tell you how I went about finding out the scraps I DO know, but this is for general knowledge since I’m not sure it’s going to be helpful in this situation.

1. FIRST, I picked up my copy of The Baby Name Wizard and looked at it bleakly: it lists names that “sound English to American ears,” which is great for me because that’s what I like. That’s no help, though, for people like your husband who are from ACTUAL England. Thus my bleak expression.
2. Suddenly inspired, I flipped to the BACK of the book and looked at the Resource List. I found this URL for England/Wales: http://www.statistics.gov.uk/cci/nugget.asp?id=184.
3. I clicked on “Last five years top 100 boys names,” but that’s all Top 100, of course, and you’re looking for something a little less common.
4. I looked bleakly at my copy of The Baby Name Wizard again.
5. I rallied. I like Top 100 and English-sounding; maybe you will too when I get done pressuring you.

So here is a list of names I think are good possibilities, chosen from the Top 100 U.K. names and/or The Baby Name Wizard’s list of English names. None of them are even in the Top 1000 in the U.S., and they sound appealingly British to my U.S. ears, and none of them repeat initials with the other children’s names.

Alfie
Alistair
Archie
Callum
Corin
Edmund
Harvey

Let’s try each name with the sibling names:

Philippa, Romilly, Beatrix, and Alfie
Philippa, Romilly, Beatrix, and Alistair
Philippa, Romilly, Beatrix, and Archie
Philippa, Romilly, Beatrix, and Callum
Philippa, Romilly, Beatrix, and Corin
Philippa, Romilly, Beatrix, and Edmund
Philippa, Romilly, Beatrix, and Harvey

One of my two favorites from the list is Edmund. I think it’s solid and boyish, and it has a good nickname. I like it with any of your middle name options, but especially with Merit: Edmund Merit Young (EMY).

I’m also drawn to Alistair. Alistair Young is fantastic, and Alistair has the same number of syllables and the same short-i sound as all the girl names. I like Alistair with Merit, too, but then the initials spell AMY. So I think I’d choose Hopkins: Alistair Hopkins Young (AHY). Love. it.

Time for the poll. I’ll put your finalists in with mine, and put the whole poll over to the right. [Poll closed; see below.]

Poll results (256 votes total):
Angus (Gus): 18 votes, roughly 7%
Barnaby (Barnes): 24 votes, roughly 9%
Simon: 37 votes, roughly 14%
Alfie: 3 votes, roughly 1%
Alistair: 69 votes, roughly 27%
Archie: 9 votes, roughly 4%
Callum: 51 votes, roughly 20%
Corin: 6 votes, roughly 2%
Edmund: 34 votes, roughly 13%
Harvey: 5 votes, roughly 2%

Name update! Jodi writes:

Thanks so much to you and your readers for all your help with our boys’ name situation. In the end, we didn’t need it! We welcomed our 4th *daughter*, Juniper Lucy Young, early Wednesday morning, and I guess we will never know what she would have been called had she been a boy :)

Gillian writes:

My husband and I are expecting on February 20th. I’ve got my fingers crossed that we’re having a boy simply because we can’t find a girl’s name that feels right! If we have a boy, we’re going to name him after my grandfather, Frederick.

We’ve come close with a few girls names but we’re not sure that any of them have hit the mark. We want a traditional name that is easy to pronounce. We will likely use the middle name Elizabeth, which is a family name. The name should flow with her last name, Birchall. We’d also like it to have two versions: a shorter softer version for a nickname, and a longer solid version that will be more fitting if she wants to be taken “more seriously” as an adult. So far we’ve come up with Josephine (Josie for short), Gretchen (Greta for short) and Hollis (Holly for short) but we’re still feeling unsure, especially because these names all seem to be already popular or increasing steadily on the naming charts.

Any suggestions??

It’s hard to avoid popular, isn’t it? The trouble seems to be that we all pretty much like the same names at the same time, so the only way to choose a name no one else is using is to choose a name that everyone—including you—dislikes.

I was thinking about this just the other day when I was making my list of girl names I like. About a dozen years ago I had a co-worker named Georgia, and I felt SORRY for her because of her name. Also, I went to school with a girl named Ruth, and I thought that was as unspeakably awful as her red hair. And now both names (AND the red hair) look good. These things go in waves, and we are floaties unable to resist.

This is why my policy on names that are popular (or increasing in popularity) is “Good! That means a lot of people will like it!” And then I just cross my fingers that it stays “popular” without getting “trendy,” because trendy is a whole different bowl of soup.

Where was I? Oh, yes. Okay, let’s look at what you’ve got so far:

Josephine Elizabeth Birchall (JEB), nickname Josie
Gretchen Elizabeth Birchall (GEB), nickname Greta
Hollis Elizabeth Birchall (HEB), nickname Holly

Because you like the boy’s name Frederick (and would/might use it for a future baby, if this one is a girl?), I’d lean toward using Josephine or Gretchen, both of which seem excellent as sibling names for a Frederick. And because “Gretchen Birchall” is a little difficult for me to say, my first choice is Josephine. Here are a few more girl names to consider:

Agatha Elizabeth Birchall (AEB), nickname Aggie
Augusta Elizabeth Birchall (AEB), nickname Gussie
Eleanor Elizabeth Birchall (EEB), nickname Ellie or Nora
Florence Elizabeth Birchall (FEB), nickname Florrie
Georgia Elizabeth Birchall (GEB), nickname Gigi or Georgie
Henrietta Elizabeth Birchall (HEB), nickname Hen or Hennie
Lydia Elizabeth Birchall (LEB), nickname Liddy
Virginia Elizabeth Birchall (VEB), nickname Ginny
Wilhelmina Elizabeth Birchall (WEB), nickname Willa or Mina

Let’s vote! I’ll put a poll over to the right. [Poll closed; see below.]

Poll results (299 votes total):
Agatha (Aggie): 9 votes, roughly 3%
Augusta (Gussie): 3 votes, roughly 1%
Eleanor (Ellie/Nora): 64 votes, roughly 21%
Florence (Florrie): 5 votes, roughly 2%
Georgia (Gigi or Georgie): 34 votes, roughly 11%
Gretchen (Greta): 17 votes, roughly 6%
Henrietta (Hen, Hennie, Hettie): 6 votes, roughly 2%
Hollis (Holly): 19 votes, roughly 6%
Josephine (Josie): 92 votes, roughly 31%
Lydia (Liddy): 28 votes, roughly 9%
Virginia (Ginny): 14 votes, roughly 5%
Wilhelmina (Willa, Mina): 9 votes, roughly 3%

Name update! Gillian writes:

Thank you so much for the suggestions and all the help in picking out a girl’s name. It turns out we needed it! Our beautiful baby girl arrived on February 26th and we named her Josephine Elizabeth. We’ve had lots of comments on her name and everyone loves it. Most importantly, so do we! Thanks again.

Corinne writes:

I’m Corinne, my husband is Vaughn, and we have two daughters at home, Gemma Evangeline Claire and Ivy Susannah Vivienne. Gemma is six, Ivy is three, and we’re expecting identical twin daughters. We know for a FACT that their first names will be Abigail and Sophia, it’s the middle names we’re struggling with! Our surname is O’Neill, but we don’t let it bother us that most -a names sound awkward with it, we’re not about to restrict our full list because the vowels just so happen to sit next to each other!

We’re going to be continuing the tradition of the double-middle-names with these girls too, and we’re struggling to find combos which fit!

We would really like to use Genevieve somewhere, for his aunt, and Hilarie (like Hilary) for my best friend. We like Lorelai, Romilly, Dahlia, Brooke, Isabel/Isabelle, Elizabeth, and Penelope. Any insight you could provide would be much appreciated!

Gem and Ives were easy to name, Gemma’s full name has been on my list for years and Ivy’s came to us early in the pregnancy, but Abby & Soph’s names are giving us more trouble than ever before!

I’m going to start by giving each girl one of the two names of honor. I prefer Genevieve with Sophia, since both have a French sound, and I prefer Hilarie with Abigail.

First I did some combinations with the name-of-honor in the first middle name slot:

Abigail Hilarie Brooke O’Neill (AHBO)
Abigail Hilarie Dahlia O’Neill (AHDO)
Abigail Hilarie Elizabeth O’Neill (AHEO)
Abigail Hilarie Penelope O’Neill (AHPO)

Sophia Genevieve Elizabeth O’Neill (SGEO)
Sophia Genevieve Isabel O’Neill (SGIO)

I also tried with the name-of-honor in the second middle name slot, but didn’t like anything I came up with as well as the first list.

Then I made a second list, adding in some other names, and that’s when I got a little…carried away:

Abigail Hilarie Adele O’Neill (AHAO)
Abigail Hilarie Britta O’Neill (AHBO)
Abigail Hilarie Carys O’Neill (AHCO)
Abigail Hilarie Celeste O’Neill (AHCO)
Abigail Hilarie Clarice O’Neill (AHCO)
Abigail Hilarie Constance O’Neill (AHCO)
Abigail Hilarie Eleanor O’Neill (AHEO)
Abigail Hilarie Elise O’Neill (AHEO)
Abigail Hilarie Eliza O’Neill (AHEO)
Abigail Hilarie Emmeline O’Neill (AHEO)
Abigail Hilarie Esme O’Neill (AHEO)
Abigail Hilarie Ida O’Neill (AHIO)
Abigail Hilarie Imogen O’Neill (AHIO)
Abigail Hilarie Iris O’Neill (AHIO)
Abigail Hilarie Jean O’Neill (AHJO)
Abigail Hilarie Laurel O’Neill (AHLO)
Abigail Hilarie Lucy O’Neill (AHLO)
Abigail Hilarie Madeline O’Neill (AHMO)
Abigail Hilarie Marianne O’Neill (AHMO)
Abigail Hilarie Matilda O’Neill (AHMO)
Abigail Hilarie Pearl O’Neill (AHPO)
Abigail Hilarie Violet O’Neill (AHVO)

Sophia Genevieve Amabel O’Neill (SGAO)
Sophia Genevieve Averil O’Neill (SGAO)
Sophia Genevieve Beatrice O’Neill (SGBO)
Sophia Genevieve Cora O’Neill (SGCO)
Sophia Genevieve Delilah O’Neill (SGDO)
Sophia Genevieve Ella O’Neill (SGEO)
Sophia Genevieve Elsa O’Neill (SGEO)
Sophia Genevieve Estelle O’Neill (SGEO)
Sophia Genevieve Flora O’Neill (SGFO)
Sophia Genevieve Harriet O’Neill (SGHO)
Sophia Genevieve Helene O’Neill (SGHO)
Sophia Genevieve Isadora O’Neill (SGIO)
Sophia Genevieve Joy O’Neill (SGJO)
Sophia Genevieve Romy O’Neill (SGRO)
Sophia Genevieve Rosalie O’Neill (SGRO)
Sophia Genevieve Sylvie O’Neill (SGSO)

And that’s with me deciding to use both of the two names of honor, and also deciding which girl gets which name of honor, and also deciding that the names of honor go in the first of the two middle name slots. Imagine all the possibilities if we took out one or both name of honor, or switched them, or put them in the second slots, or put one in the first slot and the other in the second slot. No wonder you’re having trouble! This is not just a baby-naming challenge, it’s a MATH challenge.

So let’s sic everyone else on it, too. Come up with your own combinations, everyone!

Name update 06-07-2009! Corinne writes:

Hello again!

Just wanted to update you on the birth of our twin girls! They arrived several days early on February 7th, 2009.

Abigail Genevieve Dahlia was born at 7:09PM, and
Sophia Madeleine Eilidh was born at 7:10PM.

We REALLY appreciate your help choosing names for our girls, my husband’s mother, Eilidh, died suddenly on the 3rd, so we decided to scrap the use of Hilarie for Eilidh. It’s pronounced AY-lee, and it’s Scottish. My friend Hilarie’s okay with the decision, her middle name is Madeleine (which we went with so we wouldn’t have two rhyming middle names–Hilarie Eilidh) and she’s Sophie’s godmother.

Thanks again,
Corinne, Vaughn, Gemma, Ivy, Abby, and Sophie

Ashley writes:

I am due with a baby girl in 4 days and my husband and I are still undecided on a name. About a month ago we narrowed it down to either Ava or Rowan. We love both names equally, but for different reasons. I had originally fallen in love with the name Ava because it is short, sweet, feminine sounding, but strong and not too girly for my tastes. Once I did some research and found out how popular it is though, it lost some of it’s appeal for me. Then we came across the name Rowan and learned that it has many interesting meanings and associations with it- being a tree traditionally thought to bring good luck, and a Celtic name for the full moon in February, which is exactly when she’s due. We are very nature-oriented people.I thought- perfect! But, it sounds harsher to me, and I am afraid we will constantly encounter people saying, “Isn’t that a boys name?” Or “hmm, that’s a different name.” Two other considerations….we have a very difficult to spell last name (so not sure if a gender-neutral name like Rowan will add to the confusion), and I’ve always wanted to give my daughter the middle name of Mae, after my grandmother who I was very close to. The combinations we are talking about are either Rowan Mae or Ava Rowan….Ava Mae was on the table for a while, but I’m not sure I like the combination of two 3-letter names…they sound a little too similar to me. I love both name combinations, but we are torn between choosing a name with a lot of meaning behind it, or one that we just think sounds really beautiful….any suggestions? Help!!

This is going to sound like a really, really lame suggestion, but I’m going to suggest it anyway: I suggest choosing the one you like better. I know, right? Lame? But! When naming my own children, I had to have this revelation several times. I’d be debating the relative merits of two names, this one or that one, this one or that one—and then I would think, “Well…which one do I LIKE BETTER?” and it was as if it were a BRAND-NEW concept for me each time. As someone who has made a hobby of baby names, I think I sometimes get distracted by my lists of pros and cons.

I can offer pure opinions, if you like, but of course those are only about what _I_ like better. Still, it’s fun, so I’ll do it. Here are my opinions:

1. I think the name Rowan is beautiful, and a solid choice, and unusual without being TOO unusual.

2. I think the name Ava is beautiful, and a solid choice, and its popularity wouldn’t rule it out for me.

3. I like the combination Ava Mae. I think it would be fun to call her “Ava Mae,” too, as a nickname or when there’s more than one Ava in the room. I like “Ava Mae” better than “Ava Rowan.”

4. I like the combination Rowan Mae. I think it ups the femininity of the name Rowan, without being a style clash.

[Edit: You know, I’ve had another thought about how to make a decision. Think of what names you might want to use in the future, and see whether Ava or Rowan sounds better with those names. If you love the boy name Ryan, perhaps that’s a reason to go with Ava instead of Rowan. If you love the girl name Aoife (pronounced almost like Eva), perhaps that’s a reason to go with Rowan instead of Ava. Even if you’re planning to have one child and no more, this is a helpful exercise to see which name better lines up with your tastes.]

A poll will, of course, only show you what other people like better—but again, fun, so let’s do it. I’ll put a poll over to the right [poll closed; see below], and everyone can choose which name they prefer, Ava or Rowan.

Poll results (266 votes total):
Ava: 122 votes, roughly 46%
Rowan: 144 votes, roughly 54%

Name update 02-17-2009! Ashley writes:

Thanks for your help! The poll and everyone’s comments were really helpful. Little Rowan Mae was born on February 9, the day of the full “Rowan Moon!”

Rachel writes:

I’m due 2/10/09 with my first baby, a girl. My husband and I are having such trouble reaching an agreement on her name! He would like to honor his sister, Anna, who passed away when she was seventeen. I’m all for honoring – I think it’s a beautiful idea. The dilemma is that Ana (spelled with one N) is a common abbreviation for anorexia. After struggling with anorexia for close to a decade, I don’t feel comfortable using Anna/Ana for my daughter. I don’t want to be reminded of a horrible disease every time I call my daughter’s name!

I’ve offered my husband other names that sound similar to Anna. I really like Julianna and Angelina. I’ve also suggested Annelise, Susannah, Angelica, Annika, Annabel, Hannah, and Andrea.I also told him I would be okay with using Anna as the middle name (I like Isabel Anna and Gabrielle Anna), but he’s still refusing to budge.

Don’t get me wrong, I totally understand why he wants to use Anna. He was really close to his sister and was completely devastated when she died. I just don’t feel comfortable with using the name because of the connotations it has for me. Do you think this is the type of situation where I just need to bite the bullet and go for it, or should I stick to my guns? What would you do here?

This is a mesmerizing problem. I’ve been thinking about it for several days and can’t see an easy way out of it. Most of us would probably agree that one parent shouldn’t insist on a name the other parent doesn’t want—but when one parent IS IN FACT insisting, what’s the other parent to do? Even if every single one of us unanimously agrees he shouldn’t insist, that’s not any help to you if he IS insisting.

As you’ve pointed out, his reason for wanting to use that particular name is a good reason: that is, he’s not insisting on the name Anna because he’s “always liked it,” he has a genuinely good and understandable reason for wanting to use it. His reason is a touching one, and that makes me softer toward him than I might usually be.

But let’s strip away some of the sentiment. What is his GOAL here? Will naming a daughter after his sister make his sister “live on” in any literal sense? Will it lessen the pain he feels when he thinks of her death? Will it make him miss her less?

The symbolic act of naming a baby after an important person is a pleasing one, but it is ONLY symbolism. How important is this symbolism to him? So important he’s willing to steamroll right over his living wife—the living mother of this living child—for the sake of it?

If you want an “in your shoes” opinion, I THINK in your shoes I’d fold and I’d use the name Anna, and I would just really, really hope that the dear sweet baby would in time erase any associations I had with anorexia. But that’s because I don’t really see another way out of this situation. You suggested using an Anna-combination first name; he said no. You suggested using Anna as the middle name; he said no. You explained your extreme aversion to the sound of the name; he is unmoved. Sticking to your guns doesn’t seem like it’s going to change anything, and this can’t remain in perpetual stand-off, with both parties refusing to budge: the baby is going to be born and she will need a name.

In the speech I would give to accompany my folding, I would go on AT LENGTH to him about what a huge deal this was to me, because if I WAS going to be forced to do something he should not be forcing, I would want credits applied to my account for a future disagreement. I would also arrange that this meant I could name a future child 100% on my own, with him not even having veto power. (I would not intend to USE that power, because I LIKE to agree on a name and would NOT want to force him into using a name he hated—but I would want to own that power: not only for the fairness of it, but also to point out to him what an enormous thing he was currently asking of me.)

That’s just my guess, though; I don’t really know what I’d do. And marriages are so very different, what makes sense for one marriage may be an utterly foreign language to another. But…I’m not sure what your other option is, after you’ve explained your point of view and he’s ignored it. Steal the birth certificate? Fight to the death? Best two out of three thumb-wrestle?

Name update 02-23-2009! Rachel writes:

Anna Gabrielle Cooper was born on February 18, 2009. Thank you so much for all the input and advice! Ultimately, I realized that naming my daughter Anna could be a tribute to how I’ve overcome my eating disorder, just as much as it is a tribute to my husband’s late sister. Now that Anna is here, my immediate association is with my beautiful little girl, not with anorexia. (BTW, my husband fully agrees to give my opinion priority when naming our next child.) Once again, thank you!

Jenny writes:

We’re running out of time! I’m now 37 weeks and we haven’t chosen names.

For our first child we found out we were having a boy, and therefore didn’t even pick a girl’s name. We decided on Charles (“Charlie”) Benjamin. We decided on the name just a week before he was born. We liked it because we have two separate people named Charles (one Charlie and one Chuck) who have played a significant role in our lives. Benjamin is my husband’s name. So, there were a number of reasons to choose this name besides that they sound good together and we like both the given and nickname.

For baby #2 we did not find out the gender and are now faced with the task of choosing both a boy and girl name and matching it to Charles/Charlie. For a girl, I was pretty set on Meredith. It sounds classy and familiar, but not too common (and goes well with Charlie). We are completely open for middle names. Lately, we have really liked Hazel (our children are almost sure to have blue eyes; is that a strange thing to cross my mind?). Again, completely open on middle names. I also like Abigail (but too common) and Margot, and my husband likes Miriam and Catherine. Right now our top girl choices are Meredith and Hazel.

For a boy’s name, we’re leaning toward Harrison James. I wasn’t sure about the surname as a first name, but it helps to know we aren’t the only ones who like the name (but again, not too common). James is a family name. My husband would prefer it be a first name, but it’s a little too blah for me. Plus, I don’t like “Jimmy”. We don’t really care for the nickname “Harry” (mostly because of “hairy”), but Harry is also a family name. So, we’re wondering what other nickname could be used for Harrison. Possibly “Hank”? Other names we like include Edward/Edwin/Edmund, Peter, Philip.

Our last name is pronounced GUHN-dail, so most of these names should fit just fine.

We need some other name ideas that fit with our son’s name. Please help us put this decision to rest soon!

My favorite of your girl name choices is Meredith, for all the reasons you mention. I started to try “one parent’s favorite” first name choices in the middle name slot, but Abigail rhymes with your surname, and Catherine repeats the TH sound from Meredith, and Miriam and Margot both add another M sound, and none of them seem quite right. Well, maybe your other first-name choice would work? Meredith Hazel Guhndail? Hm, I like the sound of that. It works the other way, too, I think: Hazel Meredith Guhndail.

For boys, I like the name Harrison but agree that the nickname issue is tricky. I wonder what Harrison Ford’s friends and family call him? Hank would be a legitimate choice: it’s traditionally a nickname for Henry, and Harrison comes from Henry by way of Harry (well, or by way of Harry’s son). You could also use Hal, another nickname of Harry. Or you could use Harris.

Another nickname for James is Jamie, if you like that better than Jim/Jimmy. James Harrison Guhndail is nice, and I like how Charlie and Jamie go together. Or you could make the name James longer and go for Jameson, with the same nickname option Jamie.

I’ll put two polls over to the right, one for girl name options and one for boy name options. [Polls closed; see below.]

Poll results, girl names (239 votes total):
Meredith: 174 votes, roughly 73%
Hazel: 65 votes, roughly 27%

Poll results, boy names (235 votes total):
Harrison: 108 votes, roughly 46%
James: 65 votes, roughly 28%
Edward: 12 votes, roughly 5%
Edwin: 5 votes, roughly 2%
Edmund: 16 votes, roughly 7%
Peter: 17 votes, roughly 7%
Philip: 12 votes, roughly 5%

Name update 02-21-2009! Jenny writes: “Meredith Jane was born on 2/16/09. Thank you for the input; the name is perfect for her!”

Bren writes:

I am in desperate need of some baby naming advice. Our baby boy is due in early February and he doesn’t have a name yet. His big sisters are named Rose and Tess. I LOVED their names during the pregnancies and I love them even more today. I am just not loving any one particular name this time around. Why are boy names so difficult? Our last name is 2-syllable, ending in “-er”. That pretty much eliminates all first names ending in “-er” as it sounds too rhymy.

Names that I have on my list: Blake, Cole, Eli, Miles, Milo, Quinn, Clark, Elliott

Names that my husband likes: Elijah, William, Drew

Names we like but can’t use: Henry, Wesley (Wes rhymes with Tess (that would be weird, right?))

2-year-old big sis suggests: Elmo

I usually prefer shorter names, but longer names can appeal to me if I don’t have to exert a lot of effort to say it. My husband likes biblical names. I generally don’t. I would prefer to avoid the “-en, -on, -an” ending that just about every little boy I know has. No “R” or “T” first initial. Of course, if the perfect name is found then these rules can just go out the window.

You wouldn’t want to consider the name John, would you? I’ve sung the name’s praises before, but I can always be counted on to sing another chorus. In my experience, it’s a surprisingly satisfying name: it seems boring during the consideration process, but over the months and years it is more and more pleasing to say. It FEELS common, and yet hardly any children are using the name: many of the boys named John go by Jack, or by some other name to distinguish them from the Sr., Jr., etc. they’re named for. The spelling “Jon” gives it a cooler, more up-to-date look, I think, though it’s more likely to be mistaken for a short form of Jonathan. I think it’s terrific with the sibling names: Rose, Tess, and John. It’s a name that is definitely Biblical, and yet certainly not the sole possession of the Biblical realm.

If John is out of the running, it seems like Eli is your perfect compromise name; perhaps you’d prefer the long form Elias over your husband’s suggestion of Elijah. If that’s giving you a “meh” feeling, here are some other shorties (I used a heavy hand with Biblical-but-not-ONLY-Biblical) to consider:

Abe; Rose, Tess, and Abe
Adam; Rose, Tess, and Adam
Ian; Rose, Tess, and Ian
James; Rose, Tess, and James
Jude; Rose, Tess, and Jude
Joel; Rose, Tess, and Joel
Karl; Rose, Tess, and Karl
Liam; Rose, Tess, and Liam
Luke; Rose, Tess, and Luke
Paul; Rose, Tess, and Paul

Let’s have a poll over to the right. [Poll closed; see below.]

Poll results (301 votes total):
John: 36 votes, roughly 12%
Eli: 69 votes, roughly 23%
Abe: 14 votes, roughly 5%
Adam: 12 votes, roughly 4%
Ian: 18 votes, roughly 6%
James: 23 votes, roughly 8%
Jude: 43 votes, roughly 14%
Joel: 7 votes, roughly 2%
Karl: 2 votes, roughly 1%
Liam: 24 votes, roughly 8%
Luke: 40 votes, roughly 13%
Paul: 13 votes, roughly 4%

Name update: Eli!

Arwen writes:

My husband and I have a Boy Name Issue.

When I was pregnant with our daughter who is now two, we didn’t find out her sex before she was born. We also found ourselves completely unable to agree on a single boy name we both liked. I was in labor and we were still trying to think of a name! We would have been in such big trouble if our daughter had been a boy instead!

Fortunately she is a girl, and her name is Camilla Claire. Camilla is a name I’ve always loved, which was pushed to the top of our list when my husband’s grandmother, who was called Camilla, died two months before our girl was born. Our last name is pronounced MOE-zhur and I love the whole combination of our daughter’s name. Two years later I’m still very happy with it.

But now I am 38 weeks pregnant with baby #2. We’ve got a list of girl names and we’ll be fine if this baby is a girl, but if it’s a boy, we’re back to square one.

The problem is, I have two naming priorities that seem to be at odds with one another.

1) It’s important to me that sibling names fit with each other. I don’t care so much about them *sounding* good together, as much as being in the same general category. My mom calls this the “Bailey and Alessandra” problem – if you name one of your kids a gender-neutral modern name like Bailey, you can’t give a sibling an ultra-feminine romantic name like Alessandra. It’s just… wrong.

Since we’ve gone the strong-gendered, slightly-old-fashioned route with Camilla’s name, I’d like to stick with that as a general theme. But I don’t care, like I said, about the names sounding good together. For instance, if the name Lillian were a name we liked, we’d use it even though “Camilla and Lillian” sounds a little weird because of all the “ill”. We’re hoping to have a lot of kids, so I’m considering the sibling-names-are-like-a-poem a lost cause from the outset.

2) Unfortunately, a lot of the names that I think of as being in the same general category as Camilla are getting really popular. William, for instance (although William itself is not a favorite of mine.) And it’s important to me that all our children’s names be relatively unpopular. My name, Arwen, is incredibly unusual and I’ve always loved having an unusual name. I’m the oldest of six and four of my siblings have names as unusual as mine, but I also have a brother named Brandon. My parents didn’t realize the name was popular when they used it, but poor Brandon has always complained about being different in his own family, just because he has a name that people have heard before. I really want to avoid a situation like this with any of our children. It’s why we decided not to go the really-unusual route with our kids’ names, even though there were a couple we liked, because there were ONLY a couple we liked and I wanted to avoid a situation like my parents inadvertently created. So it’s a priority for us that our kids’ names not be in the top 300 or so – in my ideal, the reaction people would have to all our kids’ names is the reaction they have to Camilla – they’ve heard the name before, but don’t usually know anyone who shares it. (Not that I care so much about what other people think about the name, I’m just giving my definition of the level of popularity we’re going for.)

Now, you can see the dilemma, right? It seems like ALL of the names I think of as classic boys’ names are in the top 300. Daniel, Christopher, James, William. Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, for that matter. If you look at the same general popularity level as Camilla’s name (#822 in 2006, the year she was born, although that’s a little misleading because Camila and Camille were more popular) you get boy names like Prince and Jaron, Alden and Adonis. Perfectly fine names all, but not exactly the classics we’re going for.

So what I’m hoping is that you can help me find some names that are classic-ish and not too common that we could use for a boy. They don’t have to be names your grandfather would have been named, as long as they sound like names your grandfather could have been named. I know there must be something out there, and if anyone knows how to find it, you do!

We’re not worried about middle names – we are not picky about middle names and will have no trouble finding a harmonious match once we’ve got the first name sorted out. The name should sound good with our last name, though, which leaves out names with long Os and names that end in -er. Otherwise, the sky’s the limit!

I KNOW, RIGHT?? It’s a terrible problem, and one of the reasons boy names are such a challenge. Well, let’s see if we can find something anyway. I’m doing this the manual way: I’m going to the Social Security baby names website, calling up the Top 1000 names for 2007, starting at 300 and working toward 1000. As I looked at each name, I screened it:

1) Is it a name that’s familiar to me? If yes, move to second screening test; if no, reject.

2) Does it sound like it could have been a few generations back in my family tree? If yes, move to third screening test; if no, reject.

3) Is it a name I LIKE, or a name I think I’m READY to like? If yes, add to list; if no, reject.

So you can see that if each of the readers of this blog went through the same process, we’d all wind up with very different lists: a small tweak of the family tree or a small tweak in geographical region or a small tweak in naming tastes, and suddenly we have a radically different list. But onward! Here’s my list:

Saul, #309
Silas, #346
Albert, #371
Russell, #408
Franklin, #470
Warren, #514
Gideon, #528
Frederick, #531
Alfred, #742
Conrad, #815
Karl, #862 (the spelling Carl is #450; combined, they’d be about #368)

My favorite is Karl, which sounds great with MOE-zhur and with Camilla. I also like Franklin MOE-zhur and Frederick MOE-zhur; Camilla and Franklin, Camilla and Frederick.

I’ll put a poll over to the right to see what everyone else thinks. [Poll closed; see below.]

Edit: Okay, so while I was laboring over this post, Arwen was laboring over a LABOR: she had the baby and named him Blaise Alexander, and holy bersneezes but I need to CATCH UP with the BACKLOG so that I am not GIVING ADVICE while people are GIVING BIRTH. Let’s keep the voting going anyway, even though it won’t apply to Baby Blaise: future babies may benefit from their parents knowing what the popular opinion is of these names.

Poll results (234 votes total):
Saul: 11 votes, roughly 5%
Silas: 54 votes, roughly 23%
Albert: 3 votes, roughly 1%
Russell: 15 votes, roughly 6%
Franklin: 33 votes, roughly 14%
Warren: 17 votes, roughly 7%
Gideon: 29 votes, roughly 12%
Frederick: 42 votes, roughly 18%
Alfred: 3 votes, roughly 1%
Conrad: 16 votes, roughly 7%
Karl: 11 votes, roughly 5%

Charlotte writes:

I’m due in late January and need a name! We decided to wait to find out if it’s a boy or a girl. We’re looking for a name that is easily to spell and pronounce but not too popular, something a bit old-fashioned, and something that sounds sophisticated. We love the way our daughter’s name sounds – Rose Ophelia Winston – and want to match that with our next child’s name.

For girls, my two favorites are Hazel and Lilac; his two favorites are Cora and Pearl. We’re also considering Margot and Gabrielle. I’d like something longer and very feminine for the middle name. We’ve been tossing around ideas like Adelaide, Isadora, and Marguerite, and we’d love some suggestions! For combos, we currently have Hazel Isadora and Pearl Marguerite on our list, but we’re looking for more.

For boys, we like Clark, Isaac, Dexter, and Conrad. I really like Edward, but we’re only considering it as a middle name – the initials EW aren’t exactly desirable. We’re also thinking of Rex as a middle name. It was my husband’s favorite for a boy, but I’m not crazy about it, and Rose and Rex are too close, anyways. For middle names, we’re looking for something long (3 – 4 syllables) and strong sounding. We’ve been discussing Oliver, Nathaniel, Alexander, and Benjamin, but we’re open to suggestions.

Thank you! I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts.

There are so many good names here, it’s hard to know where to start. …Wait, no it isn’t: I’ll start with Cora. One of the great sadnesses of my childbearing years is that my surname doesn’t work with the name Cora. With your surname, it’s terrific: Cora Winston. I WANT THAT NAME. And it is so perfect with Rose: Rose and Cora. Not at all matchy, but totally coordinated. Cora! I like Cora.

Cora Gabriella Winston (CGW)
Cora Francesca Winston (CFW)
Cora Valentina Winston (CVW)
Cora Josephine Winston (CJW)
Cora Felicity Winston (CFW)
Cora Philomena Winston (CPW)

Of your boy choices, my favorites are Clark and Isaac—but with your surname, my favorite is Isaac. Isaac Winston. Rose and Isaac. Very, very nice. I like it with three of your middle name choices and with two of your other first name choices, and I’ll add a few more possibilities.

Isaac Edward Winston (IEW)
Isaac Nathaniel Winston (INW)
Isaac Alexander Winston (IAW)
Isaac Dexter Winston (IDW)
Isaac Conrad Winston (ICW)
Isaac Augustus Winston (IAW)
Isaac Edmund Winston (IEW)
Isaac Theodore Winston (ITW)

I’ll put two polls (one for girl names, one for boy names) over to the right with all the first name choices, so everyone else can pick favorites. [Polls closed; see below for results.]

Poll results:

Girl names (251 votes total):
Hazel: 34 votes, roughly 14%
Lilac: 4 votes, roughly 2%
Cora: 137 votes, roughly 55%
Pearl: 15 votes, roughly 6%
Margot: 44 votes, roughly 18%
Gabrielle: 17 votes, roughly 7%

Boy names (238 votes total):
Clark: 43 votes, roughly 18%
Isaac: 128 votes, roughly 54%
Dexter: 32 votes, roughly 13%
Conrad: 35 votes, roughly 15%

Name update 01-30-2009! Charlotte writes:

Cora Genevieve Winston made her grand debut on January 23, 2009 at 9:26 AM! I am completely crazy in love with her! :) She is so tiny and beautiful. Thank you so much for all the help with her name. We’ve been getting so many compliments on it. Rose has been cooing “Co-Wah” and “Coco”. Our second choice was Cora Gabrielle. Once again, thank you!

Angie writes:

Our second child, sex unknown, will be joining our family at the end of the month. Big sister is Nora Grace and she just turned two. We are pretty settled on a boy’s name, either Henry Isaac or Charles (Charlie) Isaac, but are having some serious trouble coming up with a middle name for a daughter.

We had originally picked out Penelope Jane if this child is a girl, however due to a brand new addition to the family, I am thinking that Penelope (possible nn Nell) is too close to our new niece Elle and have decided to move on. My husband thinks I am crazy, he may be right, but he’s humoring me. We have really liked the name Ruth (Ruthie) through this whole pregnancy so we were more than comfortable returning to it. The problem I’m having is with the middle name. We originally decided on Ruth Allison. Then I convinced my husband to agree to Ruth Emilia. I think I am leaning towards a more contemporary name to balance out Ruth. The latest one I like (as of this morning) is Ruth Harper. Selling Harper to the hubs will be a long shot.

Do you think you and your readers could please, please help us come up with a perfect middle name for a baby girl named Ruth? Also, our last name starts with a D (it kind of sounds like “drizzle”) so any names starting with I or O are out.

Out of curiosity, am I really crazy for thinking Penelope is too “close” to Elle Marie? Of those I have asked, the consensus is split.

Oh, fun. Let’s definitely have a poll about the Penelope/Elle question. In my opinion, it’s not too close, even if you were 100% sure you would use the nickname Nell. I suppose I wouldn’t name two sisters Elle and Penelope, but cousins should be okay. …Though if they get along, they’ll probably like it and go around calling themselves “Elle and Nell! Elle and Nell! Elle and Nell! Elle and Nell!…” until you wish you’d gone with Ruth.

So let’s discuss Ruth. Any middle name starting with a vowel is going to give you word-initials: RAD, RED, RID, ROD, or RUD. Okay, fine, RUD is not a word, but the other four are.

Different people have different preferences when it comes to the rhythm of a name. For a 1-syllable first name and a 2-syllable surname, I like a 4-syllable middle name with the emphasis on the second syllable (picky much?): Ruth Penelope Drizzle (RPD). Ruth Felicity Drizzle (RFD). Ruth Elizabeth Drizzle (RED). Ruth Amelia Drizzle (RAD) or Ruth Emelia Drizzle (RED). Ruth Cordelia Drizzle (RCD). Ruth Victoria Drizzle (RVD). Ruth Cecelia Drizzle (RCD). Like that.

I also like the sound of 2-syllable middle names with the emphasis on the second syllable: Ruth Nicole Drizzle (RND). Ruth Louise Drizzle (RLD). Ruth Noelle Drizzle (RND). Ruth Simone Drizzle (RSD). Ruth Marie Drizzle (RMD). Like that.

And I also like the sound of 3-syllable middle names with the emphasis on the second syllable: Ruth Clarissa Drizzle (RCD). Ruth Delaney Drizzle (RDD). Ruth Geneva Drizzle (RGD). Ruth Jacinta Drizzle (RJD). Ruth Matilda Drizzle (RMD). Ruth Mckenna Drizzle (RMD).

This is too many options for a reasonable poll, so I’ll put the “Is Penelope too close to Elle?” poll over to the right [poll closed; see below], and we can put middle name suggestions/votes for Ruth in the comments section.

Poll results (271 votes total) for “Is Penelope too close to Elle for cousins?”:
Yes: 44 votes, roughly 16%
No: 227 votes, roughly 84%

Name update 01-31-2009! Angie writes:

I just wanted to thank you and your readers for all of your great suggestions and helping us with our baby girl names! I did decide to put Penelope back in the hat thanks to your poll and comments, and we decided to wait to see the baby to make up our minds. After all of that, on January 23 at 1:37pm I delivered a 8lb 11 oz baby BOY and we named him Henry Isaac. He is the sweetest thing ever and we and so blessed to welcome him to our family.

Thanks again!
Angie