Kelsey writes:

As of right now, I will bring into the world a beautiful baby girl with gallons of potential!…….but no name. My husband and I are basically polar opposites when it comes to taste. The following is an excerpt of a recent ‘name-versation’: “Me: How about Isis?” “Him: Meh. How about Jessica?” “Me: Umm, no. How about Esme?” “Him: Ha! How about Stacy?” “Me: Why do you hate our child?”……..and on and on and on.

We’ve got 2 boys, Emery Pope (4 1/2) and Pryor Steffen (18 months). These names were relatively easy to agree on. Pope and Steffen are family names, Emery is after the street in Dever where he was, ahem, thought up, and Pryor I saw on the back of a football jersey on TV. No big deal. Buuuuut, baby girl is proving to be more difficult. I’m Kelsey, husband is Peter, last name is Deusterman (pronounced DOOsterman), which is a dumb last name to have to work with. I feel like anything besides a 2 syllable name is either too short or too long to go with such a commanding last name.
We’ve already decided that her middle name will be Ransom, which we both absolutely love (might it work as a first name?). But since Ransom and Deusterman are both such strange names, I unfortunately feel like the first name should be more toned down….but I hate toned down! I like the super weird old fashioned names, and also names that are things (nouns). Peter likes the very traditional (read: boring) names with a mid-nineties flair.
Here’s my list:
Maven (love love love)
Isis
Rozlyn (or Rosalyn or Rosa or something along those lines)
Elsa (sounds too much like Kelsey?)
Lourdes
Maybel (Peter actually doesn’t hate this one, but is it reminiscent of cows?)
Ivy
Hazel
Ruby (we’d both be completely sold on this one if it weren’t so trendy)
Flora
Aliza
Alice
Gloria

Here’s Peter’s list:
Jessica
Stacy
Elizabeth
Rachel
Anna
Betsy

AREN’T MINE SO MUCH BETTER?! Duh.

To further complicate matters, very early on in the pregnancy Peter and I got into an argument about the dimensions of a Rubik’s cube (I said 4×4, he said 3×3). We made a bet, the terms being a KitchenAid Mixer for me, and naming rights for him (plus he would get to give our 4 year old a mullet). Despite being 100 trillion percent sure I was right, I was wrong. So technically he has the trump card in all this, which makes me tremble. But he also knows that if he values our marriage/my mental well being, he will concede to let me have a heavy say in the final decision.

So to sum up: I hate trendy and boring, he hates weird and unusual. Please, oh please, help us.

 
Dear Kelsey, You guys are screwed. Love, Swistle

Ha, no! We can help! I’m sure we can!

(“Why do you hate our child?”—HA HA HA!)

The name I’d like to tell you to choose is Ruby. You’re both totally sold on it. It goes with Emery and Pryor. It’s a great compromise between your taste and his. Yes, it is a WEE bit on the trendy/hip side, but that’s what makes it a good compromise name: it’s a noun, but it’s a familiar noun; it’s unusual old-fashioned but not wayyyyy out there old-fashioned. One of the best ways for a couple with wildly different tastes to choose a name is for one person to pick the name from the other person’s list, which is exactly what you guys did: it’s YOUR list, but HE chose.

Well, but is the repeated oo-sound too much repeated oo-sound? ROOby DOOsterman? And then there are the repeating R-sounds in Ruby Ransom.

Perhaps Emerald. It’s unusual and nounish for you, but not hip or trendy. He can call her Emmy if he wants something more mainstream. And it’s wonderful with the rest of the name: Emerald Ransom Deusterman. Oh shoot: Emery and Emerald, that’s no good.

Maybel holds no cow associations for me. The spelling Maybel makes the emphasis unclear: is it MAYbel? mayBEL? May Bell? I think if I wanted MAYbel I’d spell it Mabel; if I wanted mayBEL I’d spell it Maybelle. With your surname I like Mabel. Maebel might work, or it might have the same issue as Maybel, I can’t tell.

Mabel makes me think of a highly-unusual noun name you might like (but your husband probably won’t): Fable. Fable Deusterman.

And of course Fable leads me to Story. It seems like more men are willing to consider the name Story than some of the other nounish names—and perhaps you could sell it as being similar to Stacy? Story Deusterman; Emery, Pryor, and Story. I love how they all have five letters and all have a RY, and yet they’re all so different.

I wonder if you’d like Magnolia? I like it because the long form is unusual but easy to pronounce and very pretty, and the short form Maggie is easy and gives her something to fall back on if she doesn’t want something quite so unusual. Magnolia Deusterman.

He likes Jessica; would he like Cressida? Similar rhythm/sound while being TOTALLY DIFFERENT. Cressida Deusterman; Emery, Pryor, and Cressida.

You like Maven, and Maven makes me think of Maren. Such a pretty name, and great with your surname: Maren Deusterman. Great with the sibling names, too: Emery, Pryor, and Maren.

I notice you have Aliza and he has Elizabeth. It seems like this might be the middle ground you’re looking for: can you compromise on Eliza? Eliza Ransom Deusterman. Or Alena?

Or, he likes Anna and Stacy. Do you like Anastasia? I know it’s a lot of name with Deusterman but I like it. It’s unusual but not at all crazy, and Anastasia Krupnik made the name familiar. This is my top favorite choice for you.

Or show him THIS and see if that takes care of the naming rights problem:

Perhaps the name Rubik would be appropriate, considering the bet. Ruby as a nickname.

Name update! Kelsey writes:

Our little one was born a couple weeks early on Aug 8, looking very much like a little baby bird. Much to the chagrin of the hospital staff (and all of our family members), she went home without a name. The birth certificate lady told us we had five days before she had to submit baby’s paperwork to the county, so WE’D BETTER CALL AND LET HER KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE (insert fist shake). We had it narrowed down to Aliza, Rozlyn, or Betsy, and on Day 4 we finally settled on……….Betsy! Betsy Ransom Deusterman. It’s perfect for her (not to mention that her initials are BRD, like bird, which is what she looks like.) Thanks for all the great suggestions; they took some of the tension out of the rubik’s cube bet results.

Emily writes:

We are due in mid-August with our 2nd daughter (70% chance it’s a girl). We would absolutely love your opinion on our names as we simply can’t decide. Our last name is like BICK – CAR, but with a P instead of a B. We love traditional/biblical names. Our daughters name is Evelyn Grace.

Because my name is Emily we are trying to stay away from names that begin with E (Eloise, Eleanor, Elizabeth, Esme, & Elsa are just a few that we love that we have to rule out). We also love Vivian but we think the “v’s” may be too hard to pronounce with Evelyn. Clara was on the list until we paired it with our last name!

Our list so far is:

Cecelia (so far, our favorite)
Lucille
Margaret (not my husbands favorite)
Anna (too common)
Olivia (my husbands favorite, I think it’s too common)
Audrey
Beatrix (not my husbands favorite)
Josephine
Louisa
Julia (not my husbands favorite)
Maria

We really like names that we can shorten with a cute nickname. If it’s a boy our name list so far is William & Ian.

We would love your opinion and/or any other names that you think we’d like. Thanks!!!

I like Louisa a lot. It’s wonderful with Evelyn, and it makes me think pleasantly of Louisa May Alcott. In fact, May would be a great middle name: Louisa May Bick-car. And cute nicknames: Lou, Lulu, Weezie. There’s also Heloise, although Hints From Heloise makes for me not a negative association but a STRONG one.

If you like Eleanor but want to avoid E names, I suggest Nora. It reminds me a little of Clara, too. Another Eleanor-related possibility is Lena—though maybe it sounds too much like Evelyn. Another is Lenora, which then give you nicknames Nora or Leni. Oooh, or another is HELEN! I love the name Helen and think it’s dramatically underused. Helen Bick-car, Evelyn and Helen—oh, it’s rhymey, isn’t it? Shoot. And no good nicknames, either.

For Elizabeth, other possibilities are Lisette, Lilibet, Lisabet, Lisbeth—though I like Elizabeth so much more, it would be hard for me to choose one of the substitutes.

I like Cecily even better than Cecilia, I think because my parents had a Simon & Garfunkel record (RECORD!!) that makes me immediately go “Ce-CEEEEEEEEEEEL-ya!” every time I see the name. Like how it’s almost impossible not to start singing “Oh my darling…” whenever I see the name Clementine. I also love the name Celeste. Celeste Bick-car, Evelyn and Celeste. No good nickname, though.

Because you like the names Evelyn and Eleanor and Lucille and Maria, I want to suggest the name Marian. I think it’s so beautiful, but it’s lagging behind the other, similar names, so it’s hard to hear it as anything but an old-lady name. MARE-ree-in! So pretty! Makes me think of Maid Marian, and also of Marian the Librarian, romantic lead in the movie The Music Man. Marian Bick-car, Evelyn and Marian.

Another “name I like but it’s lagging so it’s hard to hear it yet” name is Florence. It’s a beautiful place name; it sounds like flowers; it has the sweetest nickname Florrie; it’s wonderful with your surname and with the name Evelyn.

Along similar lines, the name Millicent. Beautiful sound, if we can separate it from the old-lady associations—light and pronounced in the front of the mouth, almost like Olivia. Adorable nickname Milly. This is my favorite choice for you, in fact: Millicent Bick-car, Evelyn and Millicent.

Or there’s Alice: Alice Bick-car, Evelyn and Alice.

Or Frances: Frances Bick-car, Evelyn and Frances. Cute nicknames: Frannie, Frankie, Francie.

Or Sylvia, which I would spell Silvia: Silvia Bick-car, Evelyn and Silvia. Nickname Silvie. This is another one that’s almost like Olivia.

Or Ruth: Ruth Bick-car, Evelyn and Ruth, nickname Ruthie or Ru.

I suppose we should also discuss boy names, since 70% isn’t even halfway between 50-50 and 100%. But I like William and Ian both very much and so feel disinclined to coax you away from them!

Name update! Emily writes:

We named her Cecelia Elizabeth Pickar! I hope you like it!

Tricia writes:

My first child, a boy, is due August 14, and I am in desperate need of your expertise and ideas.

My last name is pronounced “ING-grum.”

We are going to be a Mom-Kid family, so using a name that connects to the males in my family tree holds great appeal but there are only two under serious consideration. The first of these is William – my grandfather. I like the name, but I don’t LOVE it, and I despair that it’s so common. The second name is Edgar, and the history there is pretty deep: my dad, great-uncle (who died in WWII shortly before my father was born) and great-grandfather. I don’t have any siblings, so the name stopped with my dad. My dad uses the nn Ted, and it’s perfect on him, but I can’t quite wrap my brain around it for my son. Ed/Eddie are not options as a nickname.

If nothing else, I’ll probably use either William or Edgar as a mn.

I should also note that my dad’s middle name is Grey (it was his mother’s maiden name). It’s on my list of possibilities, and I’d love it if there weren’t the rather gloomy, grey-day association.

I’d prefer to give my son a formal name that has a nickname, but I tend to only like the nickname for many of the options I’m considering. Also, a lot of sounds either clash with ING-grum, or blur into it – for example Chris sounds like Chri-sing-grum, but paired with Alec, the “Ing” tends to sound like “Ink” – at least when I say it!

I’m athletic and outdoorsy. My personal style tends to be eclectic, classic or comfortable, versus trendy, hip or artsy. My family genealogy can best be described as western European mutt — not much to draw on there, and I find myself shying away from names that have especially strong ethnic associations because they feel “phony” when applied to me.

Some of the names I like, with caveats:

Leo – very appealing to me, but might be too much of a hipster name. Also, I don’t like Leonard as a formal name. AND, he’s probably going to be a Leo (astrologically speaking), so maybe this is too much? I know you just addressed Leo in a recent post, and based on that, I’m giving “Leo as a complete name” more consideration.

Theo – an homage to my dad’s nn of Ted – I like Theo, but the “dore” in Theodore bugs me

Alexander – LOVE but too popular?

Thomas

Max – have loved this name forever, not crazy about Maximilian, Maximus, etc.

Graham – appeals to me, but friends have vetoed it because the spelling (but not pronunciation) is identical to the second syllable of my ln

Patrick – but not with nn Pat

Parker

Tucker

Quinn – kind of blurs with “ING-grum”

Garrett

Elliot

Grey – cute, but gloomy

Names that are ‘taken’ by friends/family, or that I’ve otherwise ruled out:

Jack

Sam

Ryan

Dylan

Liam

Mason

Miles

Damian

James

I feel like I’m all over the map! Can you please give me some direction??

Thank you so much!

Edgar seems like a great option for you: unusual, with huge family ties. But it sounds like you definitely want a nickname but you don’t want any of the nicknames for Edgar. So let’s rule Edgar out as a first name.

Well, wait. Wait wait wait. What about naming him Edgar Grey Ingrum, and using Grey as the nickname? It’s a little bit of a reach, but I like so much your idea of using family names here. He’d be Edgar Grey Ingrum II, I think—since he’s not a Jr. and yet he’d have the same name as your father—but you wouldn’t HAVE to use the II. It seems like a pretty excellent way to give your son strong male family ties and carry on an important family name that might otherwise be lost—plus you could use a name you love but might feel uncertain about using in the first-name slot because of the gloominess associations you mention. (I myself associate grey with grey flannel pants and with dreamy grey eyes.)

Name update! Tricia writes:

It has been more than a year(!!) since you helped me with my naming dilemma. I’m ashamed to be this late in saying thank you to you and your readers, but Thank You.

You wrote: “What about naming him Edgar Grey Ingrum, and using Grey as the nickname?”

I read that, and burst into tears. Yes, I was 8.5 months pregnant and a touch weepy, but even then, the crying caught me off guard. Each time I checked comments or reread your advice, I had the same teary response.

Edgar still seemed like a big, clunky name for my wee baby, so I wasn’t completely sold until my son arrived. From the first moment, he looked exactly like my dad. I was flush with emotion and love for my family. And so he is Edgar – the FIFTH in our family line. (if you’re wondering how that works, we’re a mom-kid family – hence my son has the same last name as me and my dad)

His middle name is Graysen, and that’s what everyone calls him. Fits him beautifully, and my dad, Edgar Gray (not Grey, as I wrote earlier), is so tickled with his little namesake.

Thanks again!

Amanda writes:

I’m due with our first baby (a boy) in mid-August. We are still up in the air about his name and would love some outside opinions. Our last name is Snyder.

The top two names that we have are Levi and Owen. We decided that we really liked Levi very soon after we found out that he was a boy and that was the moniker we used through most of the pregnancy. But then we decided that we would like options! What if he is born and isn’t a Levi? This is where Owen was chosen. I still really love Levi, but agree that exploring other options is a good thing. We were trying to stay away from the very popular names and I seem to like more “old fashion” names.

We also like Lukas, Joel, Liam, and Forrest.

The middle name is also a bugger. We would like to use a family name. It’s sort of tradition to use the father’s name as the son’s middle name, which would be Eric. But Levi Eric Snyder doesn’t flow as nicely as we would like. Owen Eric Snyder is worse. Other family names include: Theodore, Daniel, Raymond, Harley, Merlin, Wilchie… or we could ditch tradition and go with something else completely.

Thanks for your help!

I DO like the flow of Levi Eric Snyder. But then, I’m drawn to the 2-2-2 name-syllable structure, when I know a lot of people try to vary the syllables of the parts of the name to break it up a little. I also like the rhythm of Liam Eric Snyder and Levi Daniel Snyder and so forth—but others might prefer the rhythm of something more like Levi Theodore Snyder.

With Levi or Liam or Lukas Snyder, there is the possibility of ending up with the monogram (surname initial in the middle, first name initial on the left, middle name initial on the right) LSD—which I’d want to avoid just because I’m a Meaningful Initial avoider. So even though I like the sound of Levi Daniel Snyder, I might not use it. I think I would also avoid Lukas Snyder because of the way the two S sounds merge. But I also think these are all minor issues: monograms are uncommon and a little extra S-sound never hurt anyone.

Do you have any men named John in the family? I think Levi John Snyder sounds handsome.

With Owen, I like Theodore: Owen Theodore Snyder. I also like Owen Daniel Snyder, and Owen Levi Snyder if you decide not to use a family name. But I also think Owen Eric is fine, because of how infrequently the first and middle names are said together.

I am having trouble thinking of more options because I like Levi Eric Snyder so much and I think you should use it! It seems just right: the first name you’ve loved all along, plus the middle name tradition.

Name update 08-10-2010! Amanda writes:

Levi Eric Snyder was born on Aug 6th; a week early, to everyone’s surprise! Thanks for the reassurance that our gut instinct was a good name for our precious baby boy. Cheers!

Rachel writes:

My husband and I are expecting a baby boy (our first baby!) on August 15th and would love some help picking out a name.

In the Jewish tradition we would like to honor the grandparents we’ve lost by using their first initials for the baby’s name. We’d like to honor both his side and my side. The letters we have to work with from my side of the family is: J or M. And the letters from my husbands side are: E or A. Our last name is Greenfield and is pretty easy to match.

So far we haven’t been able to get beyond two front runners names: Evan and Max. But I’m a little worried about how popular they are or are becoming and I’m having trouble matching middle names. I also don’t love the formal names for Max (my husband like Maxwell, but I’m not a huge fan). We considered using both names together, but are afraid of having another boy the second time around and using up both names we like in one fell swoop! It may be worth noting that I really like the name Alex/Alexander also, but my husband vetoed this since we have a close friend named Alex. The girl names I would considered are Livia and Sasha.

The few names I’ve brainstormed are:

Max Cooper(Cooper is a family name on my husband’s side, so we wouldn’t need the E/A).
Max Evan (or Maxwell Evan)
Evan Merek (or Merik?)
Jack Ethan

We would love your input/suggestions!!!

Ooo, you have good letters to work with! Let’s see…A, E, J, or M.

A Name Suggestions:

Aaron Greenfield
Adam Greenfield
Alec Greenfield
Anderson Greenfield

E Name Suggestions:

Edmund Greenfield
Elias Greenfield
Elliot Greenfield
Emmett Greenfield
Everett Greenfield

J Name Suggestions:

James Greenfield
Jared Greenfield
Jeremy Greenfield
Joel Greenfield
Jon Greenfield

M Name Suggestions:

Malcolm Greenfield
Micah Greenfield
Miles Greenfield
Milo Greenfield

Some possible both-sides-of-family pairings:

Elliot Michael Greenfield
Everett Max Greenfield
Jon Alexander Greenfield
Malcolm Cooper Greenfield
Milo Anderson Greenfield

But my top favorite is your choice of Evan Merek. Or maybe Evan Merrit? I also like Evan Cooper Greenfield, Evan Malcolm Greenfield, and Evan Miller Greenfield.

Name update! Rachel writes:

I’m just realizing now that I asked for name help back in July 2010 and forgot to send you an update.  It may have been because our little boy was born 3 1/2 weeks early, only four days after you responded with your post!

We ended up naming our son Evan Maxwell Greenfield.   He was going to be Max right up until the eve of my scheduled emergency c-section, but somehow Evan started to feel much more “right”.   We didn’t settle on his full name until he was born.  Several hours after his birth and (my parents begging to know the baby’s name!), we decided to risk it and use both favorite boys names we loved in one fell swoop.  I let my husband “win” by using the more formal Maxwell instead of Max.

Philippa writes:

It is so hard to find a boy’s name! I’m due with a baby boy in mid August. We already have a girl, Rose Helen (Lastname). The last name sounds like “Bemelmans”, which is the last name of the author of the Madeline books. Except my baby’s last name will have an ‘rk’ where the first ‘m’ is, so we’re not working with as many ‘m’ sounds. The middle name will be Scott (that’s my last name). We are really stuck for a first name!

I need a name that is common enough to be pronounced right the first time by any English speaker. A name that has an obvious nickname. A name that’s not Biblical.

If Rose was a boy, we would have named her William Scott ‘Bemelmans’. That’s where we are right now. Probably going with William. I’m just not wild about it. It’s a family name on my husband’s side (his middle name, and his Dad’s name translated from Dutch). Last year, my husband’s sister had a baby with the middle name William, and I’m a bit cagey on having two tribute babies to the same person (my husband’s Dad). Plus, I’ve just never really loved that name. I really like the idea of each of our children having a name of their own, then one of my names (Helen is my middle name, and my mum’s name), and then their Dad’s last name.

Names that we’ve seriously considered and ruled out are:
Alexander (this would be my choice if a friend hadn’t just had an Alex)
Anton
Martin
Louis
Henry
Wesley
Oliver

If we were having another girl, we would have debated:
Katharine Violet
Alexandra Violet
Juliet Violet
Diana Violet
Penelope Violet

(Violet is a family name on my side, it’s my grandmother and great-grandmother’s name)

Help, please! I know that if we go with William, it will grow on me. I just felt that bolt of lightning when we chose Rosie’s name, and it suits her perfectly. I want that again!

Thank you!

I, too, get that feeling that once is probably enough for each ancestor to be honored. I think it’s FINE if more than one family member wants to use the name (it isn’t at ALL that I think they SHOULDN’T), but if you’re looking for something different I see what you mean, and my guess is that all the other ancestors agree with us also.

One of my favorite “names that are like William but NOT William” is Wilson. It’s easy to pronounce, and it still gets the nickname Will. Wilson Scott Bemelmans.

I feel like I’ve mentioned this name pretty often recently, but whenever I see Henry and Oliver and Wesley on someone’s list I suggest Simon. The names feel similar to me. Simon Scott Bemelmans. And I love the names Rose and Simon together. But I’m not sure Sy meets your request for an obvious nickname.

Maybe Calvin? Calvin Scott Bemelmans, nickname Cal; Rose and Calvin.

Names Alexander makes me think of:

Benjamin (Ben)
Christopher (Chris)
Jonathan (Jon)
Nathaniel (Nate)
Nicholas (Nick)
Zachary (Zack)

But most of those are biblical. …In fact, ALL? Are they ALL biblical?

Edward might get too entangled with the Twilight thing, but maybe Edmund (Ed/Ted)?

Joseph (Joe) seems like it would be particularly nice with Rose—or maybe the matching long-O sounds are TOO good together? Oh shoot! Biblical!

I like Warren and think it’s underused. Warren Scott Bemelmans.

Spencer? Easy to pronounce, easy nickname, non-biblical. Spencer Scott Bemelmans. Or maybe the repeating “er” sound with your actual surname is too much “er”.

I keep thinking of more names that are easy to pronounce and have obvious nicknames, but then they’re biblical: Daniel, Philip, Andrew, Samuel. And then I think of non-biblical names, but they don’t have an obvious nickname: Elliot, Emmett, Everett, Quinn, Ruben.

This is hard! Help!

Name update 08-17-2010! Philippa writes:

Our baby boy was born 8/10, and we decided in the end to name him William Scott ‘Bemelmans’. After about seven months of searching for another name, nothing else felt right, and in fact felt like we would have been using something else just for the sake of it. We call our baby Will, and he is adorable. His name goes very well with his sister Rose: Will and Rosie. Both bright, cheerful, gently old-fashioned names. I don’t care that it’s popular- number one in my home country of Australia and number five in the US, or that both he and his cousin have names in honor of their grandfather. It suits him perfectly.

Thank you for your help!

Deb writes:

Hi~ We are in need of some opinions. We are expecting girl number 3 on August 12. We currently have Eva Joy and Addison Louise. Although we hardly ever call her Addison, always Adi. We decided on the three letters because it seemed more simple for our crazy long lastname sounding like Farn-brook. The first two names were so easy, as the girls were named by the 20 week ultrasound. I’m feeling uneasy about not having this one named yet! :) We had a boy name all ready to go… Tate.

I like the idea of using a vowel again, and Isabel has always been on our top. Calling her Izzy. But then I fear if we would ever have more, would we always have to use vowels? And would they all have to be matchy-matchy? We really like Isabel because of the meaning of the name. That doesn’t really have a lot to do with our decision, obviously with Addison meaning “Adam’s son.”

I really like more the old fashioned names with a modern twist. Some top names right now are;

Isabel
Cora (one of our friends recently used this name, its pretty much out)
Aurora(we live just over 30 minutes from the town with that name)
Brynna-call her bri or bryn

As far as my husband goes, he loves the long name that inevitably will result in a more masculine nickname, not that its a bad thing, I just do not prefer it.
Josephine-Jo/Josie
Samantha-Sam/Sami
Desiree-Des/Desi(my fav. of his)
Isabel
As far as middle names, we will use a family name. Jane, Joan (Jo-ann) Ruth, Goldie. That’s not so much of an issue, as we feel we can find a family name that will go somewhere. (We have big families)

Names that are out are the gender neutral names.
Taylor
Jordan
Peyton
Along those lines.

Thanks for the advice!

If Isabel is your top choice, I think you should use it: it’s great with Eva and Addison, and it’s great with your surname. I like Isabel Jane best. I THINK you’re safe with the vowel pattern, or at least I wouldn’t have noticed it. I’m interested to know if other people would have noticed it or not, so let’s have a poll over to the right (and let’s hope it works this time—the last poll did seem to finally start working, but my confidence has been shaken). [Poll closed; see results below.] [P.S. Clearly it did not work. I’m keeping this here because how did this even happen?.]

Name update! Deb writes:

Hi! We delivered a healthy baby girl on Friday August 13. We named her Vivienne Joan. We decided against Isabel because it was too popular and we were trying to avoid another Addison. My husband loved the name, and I loved the nn Vivi. So we now have baby Vivi. Thanks for all the suggestions!

Emilie writes:

I have a baby name problem. We are due with our second child at the beginning of August and are lost for a boy name. My daughter’s name is Charlotte Ann (Ann is a family name). I find girls names to be really easy, and boys names to be very difficult! If this baby were a girl, I probably would have named her Georgia (back-up name Annabel), likely middle name Marie (family name). However, I’m not sure that my naming style is the same for boys as it is for girls, so not sure how helpful that information is. The middle name of this boy will likely be Robert (another family name). This is our last child, so no worries about future siblings.

Here’s the problem: our last name. It’s one syllable, quite harsh sounding, ends in the “ck” sound. Think: nickname for Huckleberry Finn. So first of all, any names like Finn, Thomas/Tom, or Sawyer are out. As are names like Jack, Nick, etc. I’ve found that I’ve had to rule out many names because they just don’t sound good with our last name. It’s challenging.

I love the name Henry for someone else’s kid, but don’t like the alliteration with our last name. I love the name Lucas, but the inevitable nickname Luke is a problem with our ln. I love the name Simon, but can’t use it. Other names in the don’t like/can’t use/family member pile: Silas, Charles, Elliot, Julian, Samuel, Benjamin, Nathan/Nathaniel, George, Nolan, Andrew.

One more thing: no first names that sound like last names. I’m afraid people might reverse the first and last names (happens to my husband quite often).

I’ve resigned myself to the fact that we’re just going to have to pick a popular, somewhat boring name for this kid (I don’t want any names that are too “out there” – my husband has a very weird name and wants this name to be very normal and recognizable). I like Ethan, but it will likely be the #1 name this year. Ditto for Alexander/Alex (and our next door neighbor is named Alex). I do like James, but find it a bit boring. Is James boring? An interesting tidbit is that both of our mothers suggested the name James in the same week (and the name was on our list already), so I’m looking at that as a bit of a sign, but just am not really excited about the name.

Will someone please name this baby? :-)

I wonder if you’d like Oliver? It’s one of my favorite boy names and seems similar to Simon and Henry, and it’s very normal and recognizable but still seems non-boring to me. It’s definitely rising in popularity, though, and it’s hard to predict where it’ll end up on the charts. I suspect it won’t get way up there, but if guesses were horses we’d all buy oats by the ton. Oliver Robert H_ck.

Leo is another from my list of favorites, though maybe it’s too nicknamey? I think of it as a complete name, and it’s a little similar to Lucas. Leo Robert H_ck.

If Leo appeals to you but IS too nicknamey, maybe Milo. Milo Robert H_ck. I think Charlotte and Milo sound adorable together. Miles would be good too: Miles Robert H_ck.

If you like Ethan, I suggest Evan or Ian. Evan is Top 50 but doesn’t seem headed for any kind of trend spike. And Ian has been hovering in the 60s/70s/80s ranks for DECADES. Evan Robert H_ck, Ian Robert H_ck.

I don’t find James at all boring, and I like the nickname options as well as the option of not using a nickname, but Jim was Huckleberry Finn’s traveling buddy–is that okay?

A name I LOVE with your surname is Elias: Elias H_ck, Elias Robert H_ck, Charlotte and Elias.

Jasper might get popular because of the Twilight association, but it’s also a really good and non-boring name: Jasper Robert H_ck, Charlotte and Jasper.

The name Kyle used to look like it was heading for Top Ten, but it’s been dropping way back down. Kyle Robert H_ck.

Name update 08-14-2010! Emilie writes:

Ian Robert was born on August 7. Thanks to you and your readers for all of your great suggestions. His name fits him perfectly!

Erin writes:

Hi Swistle! My name is Erin and I wasn’t expecting to be writing you as I thought my husband (Bryan) and I had our names picked out. But with baby coming via repeat c-section on July 23, we are feeling a little iffy about our choice for a girl name. This will be our second child, a surprise, as we already have a 22-month old Keira Leigh (Leigh for my mother and grandmother). With Keira we decided we didn’t want to find out the gender (something I’ve always wanted to do), so I came up with a list of names and we narrowed it down to one boy name and one girl name.

When we found out we were expecting again we decided to once again not find out the gender and knew we would be keeping Conner/Connor Timothy, Timothy after my husband’s late best friend, as our #1 boy choice. I once again made up a huge list of girl names, mostly all Irish as we love Irish names and have Irish on both sides, and we narrowed it down.

My husband picked mostly all VERY popular names off the list; such as Kennedy, Peyton, Morgan, Reagan and Riley. I like all these names but seemed to be pulled more toward names like Aislinn, Carrigan, Cassidy, Kinley, Kyla, Quinn and Sheridan. We decided on Kinley Adair, Adair for his great-grandmother, and I thought that was that. However lately he keeps commenting such things like “What’s the girls name choice again? Oh yeah, Kinley…. yeah that’s right.” and “Kinley right?” Always with hesitation and doubt! Now I’m starting to feel uneasy myself and have started up a whole new list in hopes something will pop out.

Recently my mom mentioned the name, Fiona, a name I think is beautiful! BUT we own all three Shrek films and with a fourth in theatres right now I’m worried about the repercussions of naming a girl after an Ogre princess. Swistle can you and your readers please help us choose a beautiful, not to popular Irish name for our possibly little girl (I so feel it’s a boy though)? The middle name will definitely be Adair (or Margaret if Adair doesn’t jive with the first name) and the last name… well I swear it doesn’t sound right with ANY name you put in front of it but it sounds like Hu-ray-duh. Thank you so so very much!

I always wish to be able to do little interviews in my Baby Naming Office (where I would have a double desk with my fellow name-hobbyist friend Mairzy) (and I think we should have huge soft leather office chairs) (and bowls of snackies) (and comfy leather swivel chairs for the clients), because what I’d like to do first is ask your husband if he really is feeling doubtful about the name Kinley, and what his own first choices would be if he were choosing the name on his own.

I soooooo wish the Shrek people hadn’t picked the name Fiona! Oh, what a sad day that was, similar to the day the pharmaceutical company chose to call an allergy medicine Allegra, or the day Toyota called their minivan Sienna. LEAVE THE GOOD GIRL NAMES ALONE PLEASE, PEOPLE-WHO-NAME-PRODUCTS!

Well. There are still some good pretty Celtic names that have escaped marketers:

Bethan
Brenna
Bridget
Bronwyn
Brynn
Catriona
Emlyn
Finola
Flannery
Isla
Madigan
Maura
Mirren
Tamsin
Teagan
Tierney

I can’t tell if Mirren and Tierney sound too much like Keira: their beginning/ending sounds are completely different, but that “eer” sound in the middles is so strong.

Some of these are at risk for extreme popularity: Isla, for example, appeared for the first time on the Social Security Top 1000 in 2008 at #619, and in 2009 was #346. Those are HUGE leaps, similar to the initial appearance of the name Madison. Kinley is in similar if slightly less dramatic circumstances: Top 1000 for the first time in 2006, at #907, and up to #451 already by 2009. Teagan is moving even less rapidly but still steadily, from #816 in 1999 to #274 in 2009.

My favorites for you are Catriona (ends the same as Fiona, but no ogres), Emlyn, Madigan, Mirren (if it doesn’t sound too close to Keira), and Teagan.

Name update 07-27-2010! Erin writes:

Hi Swistle! I just wanted to thank you and your readers so much for all the suggestions and comments on our baby name troubles; Baby Boy or Girl H, Sibling to Keira. On July 23 I gave birth to an absolutely handsome baby boy, Conner Timothy weighing 6lbs 11oz and 19in long. Mommy’s intuition was correct! We went into the c-section with a small list of girl names, quite a few suggested by you and ones from the comments. Big sister Keira is smitten with him already and asks to hold him all the time, he’s “my baby Conner” already to her.Thank you again for your help!

Tricia writes:

I have recently realized that my husband and I have had a repeating problem with names. We have three children, Aidan (b. 1995), Ava (b. 1996), and Jasper (b. (2004). When Aidan was born, the name was number 461 on the SSA. My son has never met another Aidan in his life, and he has certainly never had to use his last initial in school. But my younger son started kindergarten this past year, and there were three Aidan’s in his class. And four Ava’s!! Four! (let me mention that when Ava was born, the name was number 2657 on the SSA. Nowhere near the top 1000. But now that I look, it is number 18!!!). Right now, Jasper is still in the 300s, but it has risen over 200 since my son’s birth, and I suspect it will continue to rise.

Anyway, the point of all that, is that I am due with my last child (a girl) on July 25th, and I am refusing to let that happen again. I know that my kids don’t necessarily have others with the same name in their classes at school, but as a whole, the names now sound very bland and ordinary, and we were going for the opposite when we named them. So I need your expertise in helping us find some alternate names that will not rise ridiculous amounts in popularity. To give you an idea, some names we like are Lucy, Maeve, Lydia, Violet, Juliet, Lila, Lea, and Rowan. Half of these names are already in the 100s on the SSA, and the others are a bit less popular, but not outrageously. What we are worried about is choosing Lea, which right now is number 671, and having it skyrocket so in the next few years, it becomes number 8 or something crazy like that.

We’re not sure how to approach this, because this has happened consistently with every name we’ve picked, so we don’t trust ourselves on our own to choose a name that this will not happen with. So we need your expertise, Swistle. Please help us to find a name similar to the kind of names I’ve listed (we aren’t really considering any of those names, too afraid of the popularity thing, but those are the kind of names we like). It frustrates me so much that Aidan and Ava, who’s names I used to get compliments on in the 90s, are the names of every other toddler in the US. I was at Barnes & Noble the other day looking at some pregnancy books, and I saw a baby name book called “Beyond Ava & Aiden”, for crying out loud! It made me so upset! Their names are now the staple for a common name, and I don’t want that to be the case with our newest addition.

Oh, and let me make sure I say, we don’t like unusual names… these, along with our kids names, are (were) all so-called “common names”, or so the public thinks. But we want the sort of names that are familiar to the ear but no so familiar that every parent will be choosing them. (even in the future)

Please help! I honestly don’t know what to do! I don’t trust myself with names anymore. (Oh and none of our kids have middle names – a family tradition – so that isn’t an issue, thank God.)

Thank you thank you thank you
Tricia

PS our last name starts with a C and is one syllable and fairly common.

Oh dear! Here is the trouble: you guys are natural trend frontrunners. I don’t know if there’s any way around this problem. My mom is the same: she liked the names Lucy and Owen back when my reaction to both names could be described as “WHAT??” If she’d used either of those names for a baby, I would have said she was COMPLETELY SAFE in not choosing a trendy name. And yet, look at them now! And now of course I love those names too, just like almost everyone else.

There’s no way to completely prevent choosing a name that will get very very popular, but sometimes there are indicators (and sometimes not). I’m looking at the charts and I think I have a different chart: I’m using the Social Security Administration baby names site, which says the name Ava was #739 in 1996, and was #5 in 2009; it had risen 200 places in the ten years before you chose it, which might have made us suspicious if we’d seen it, but there was no way to know it was going to go up SEVEN HUNDRED places in the next 10 years. The name Aidan, on the other hand, was #281 in 1995—but had gone up more than 600 places in the five years before that. So if you’d been looking at that chart, it would have been clear SOMETHING was up with that name. Jasper—probably no way to call that one: you named him a year before Twilight came out.

The main issue here, I think, is that the kind of names that get popular are the kind of names you LIKE. We can’t help our tastes in names, and you happen to be on the front edge of the crowd. You like Lea, which was #671 in 2009—but the spelling Leah was #28. And Lila! If you were LOOKING for the next big trendy hit, that’s what I would suggest for you. It’s gone from not even in the Top 1000 in 1997 to #168 in 2009. If I were going to make a prediction, I’d predict we’ll see Lila in the Top Ten within the next 5 years—or certainly within the next 10. And frankly, it’s perfect with your other kids’ names: Aidan, Ava, Jasper, and Lila is WONDERFUL.

And Lucy! Not rising quite as fast, but steadily: high 400s in the mid-’90s, low 200s in the early ’00s, and #101 last year. And again, WONDERFUL with your other kids’ names: Aidan, Ava, Jasper, and Lucy.

Lydia: gliding upwards gracefully. Juliet: upwards faster, in bigger leaps. Rowan: big leaps after total obscurity. Maeve: same as Rowan. Violet: same as Rowan and Maeve. I say you have a knack, and I say EMBRACE IT.

If you’d rather not embrace, we need to look in a completely different category. The names you like are the ones that sound fresh to the ears, little surprises as we hear names we haven’t heard used before—or not for a long time. It’s that “Whoa. WHOA.” reaction to a name that suddenly sounds….FRESH! Cadence, Braden, Caitlin, Noah, Isabella—these are all names that GRABBED ATTENTION and then LEAPED UP. Some of them were new inventions, some were revivals, but they all had that sudden rise from nearly nowhere. It’s because that same freshness hits nearly EVERYONE. All the names you like have that smack of freshness, or at least the lingering remains of it.

What you say you’d like is a common, non-unusual name that isn’t going to get wildly popular; in that case, you need to avoid that fresh sound. If you get the “Whoa. WHOA. THAT’S fresh and new!” reaction, STEP AWAY FROM THE NAME. You need a name that has lost that freshness, but without wilting: a great name, but familiar enough to be unlikely to ignite the sudden interest of large crowds. A name that at first seems a little…meh…just because it lacks that element of surprise, but then grows on you until you can’t believe you ever thought it was meh. Bethany. Bridget. Clarissa. Holly. Jocelyn. Kara. Laurel. Marissa. Meredith. Sabrina. Tessa. These are all from The Baby Name Wizard‘s list of “New Classics,” which she calls “trend-proof.” Or maybe “trend-resistant” would be a better term: it’s hard to know when some circumstance (an actor, a novel) will kick a name to the head of the line.

Best of luck, and I don’t think you’ll go wrong: you have marvelous and consistent taste that everyone loves! Choose what YOU love, and I don’t think you’ll be unhappy with the name—even if you’re unhappy with its popularity.

Name update 07-25-2010! Tricia writes:

Wow! Thank you so much for the advice and all the reader advice too! It gave us a lot of help.
Anyway, our baby girl was born last Saturday, healthy and beautiful, and we’re very happy with the name we chose.
Her name is Liza! (L-eye-zah, because I’ve seen Lee-za) Liza isn’t a name that’s even on the top 1000 (!!) but it feels simliar in style to names like Lila, don’t you think.
So Aidan, Ava, Jasper, and Liza. We really love it. What do you think?

Well, thanks so much!