Category Archives: name update

Baby Girl Eason, Sister to Noah

Meg writes:

Hello!

Right, here goes! I am not American, nor do I live in America, Buut I do read your site religiously both baby names and regular blog, and have done since before I had my son, whom your site helped name nearly 2 years ago.
Sooo this feels like the obvious place to come when faced with the challenge of naming baby number 2! So I would be so grateful if you would consider helping me :)
The baby’s surname Will be  Eason and she is a girl :) her big brother’s name is Noah and he has two middle names which id love and would like her to have two middle names too.
She is due end of Jan, but due to complications I had with my son could come earlier (eeep)
Im having a hugely hard time to name her… it seems its a million times harder to name a second baby…. without falling in to a “naming trap!”….. Me and my partner have very different tastes so thats the main issue…
Names I love
Edith (Edie)
Harper (not very popular here … yet!)
Betsy (he hates this name but its my fave!)
Ottilie
As you can see I seem to go more toward what are known as “old lady names”.
Names he loves
Ada
We both don’t mind
Olive
Talulah
Neither of us are crazy for the two names we agree on … they don’t feel like her name ….

 Middle name Would most likely be Kate or kitty for family or Bobby also for family but obviously will depend on first name.
So we are getting No where fast! I know we have a little while but with an older sibling I really want to have a for him to call her so when she is born she isn’t stuck with “Baby sister “as her name for months and months (this has happened to some of our friends) Im trying to stay away from the top 10 names (Noah wasn’t top 10 here when I picked it :P) But it isn’t the end of the world if its the right name and its slightly more popular than i’d hoped … Im really hoping that having another countries spin on this will help to, shine some light on some names we would have never thought of …. ? maybe! ha
Anyway thank you!!

 

The first names that come to mine are Hazel and Lila. Then Harriet.

When I saw Edith on your list, I first thought of Ruth, and then of Esther, then of Estelle, then of Dorothy/Dorothea and Martha and Lilith. Then I saw Talulah and thought of Tabitha, which made me think of Thora and Matilda.

Ada makes me think of Ava, and also of Ida and Ivy and Daisy and Jada and Dahlia and Deirdre. With Edith, it makes me think of Agatha.

Olive makes me think of Hazel and Lila as mentioned before, but also of Livia and Silvia and Willa.

Talulah makes me think of Lila and Tabitha as mentioned before, and also of Lucille and Lucy and Louisa and Eloise.

If he wouldn’t mind YOU calling her Betsy as long as he didn’t have to, it would be sweet to name her Elizabeth or Elsbeth or something similar (I see The Baby Name Wizard mentions Bettina) and have Betsy as a special nickname only you call her. Or you could use Elizabeth as one of her middle names, and then you can call her Betsy from that. Or of course you can just call her Betsy with nothing connecting it to her name—I can picture cooing “Aren’t you my sweet little betsy-boo?” to a baby as an endearment rather than as a name.

Name update! Meg writes:

Hi !
I can’t believe the pregnancy has flown by so fast and now here I am with my one month old baby daughter!
We went back and forth over names, I added many of beautiful names suggested by your brilliant readers to my list, and we got to her being just over a week old before we finally settled on a name listening to how important it seems to have choice with a name we went for one with nicknames for choice.

Darwin Bobby Violet
We call her Winnie and dee dee, the bobby part became more important when she arrived on my brother Roberts birthday!
Violet as v names are a family tradition on my partners side.

Thank you so much for all your help :)
(I have attached a photo :))
Screen shot 2014-06-18 at 9.22.05 AM

Baby Girl Welch

S. writes:

I have been following your blog for a long time and love reading your baby naming advice. I am hoping that you and your readers can offer some suggestions on a name for our baby girl.

This past June my little brother (and only sibling) passed away unexpectedly after a horrible accident. He was only 25 years old. Being not far apart in age, we were always really close, and so it goes without saying that losing him has been incredibly difficult.

Two days after he died, and after almost a year of trying, my husband and I found out that we were having a baby.  This is our first, and we are beyond excited. Our little girl is due on March 8th.

When I first found out that I was pregnant, I knew without a doubt that I would honor my brother somehow with our baby’s name. My brother’s name was Jordan, spelled with an “i” between the “J” and the “o.” My parents did this because the Italian version is Giordano and they wanted that to be represented in his name. My maiden name is very Italian, so it worked. I decided that I wanted to use his name as our baby’s middle name, regardless of whether we had a boy or girl.

Now that we know we are having a girl, we are having a hard time finding a name that sounds good with my brothers name.  I know it’s always more challenging to pick a first name to go with a middle name than the other way around, but we are beginning to think that because of our situation, we might just have to live with the fact that our daughter’s first and middle names may not go together as well as we would like.

Our last name is Welch, spelled with an “s” instead of a “c.” We have a good list of boys names that we love, but not so many girls names.  For girls I tend to like to antique charm and androgynous names.  Our favorite right now is Avery, but I think Avery would sound best with a feminine middle name, like Elise or Isabella. If we used it, our daughter will have two androgynous names. I’m not sure if this would cause an issue for her. The other girl name we really like is Alivia (or Alyvia). I love the name Olivia, but it is so popular now and Alivia sounds to me like a fresh version of it. What are your thoughts on this name? Which spelling do you prefer? Another name I like is Ainsley because it would go great with our Irish last name, but my husband does not like it (same with Aubrey).

Our list of boy names is below:
Liam
Oliver
Declan (Dex)
Finley (Finn)
Evan
Porter
Hudson

We would like to have 3 or 4 kids.

We would love to hear any advice or suggestions that you and your readers have.  This baby is bringing so much joy to our lives during a time when we really need it, and we want to give her a name that she will hopefully one day love and be proud of. Thank you!!!

I agree: there are situations where other issues trump flow and style, and this is one of those situations. I think people can get stuck when they try to have it both ways: a crucial preference AND perfect flow / style / everything else.

I also agree that since you have a variety of names you like, it would be nice to choose one of the more obviously feminine ones with a unisex middle name. You could save Avery for a future child, or you could see if you like any similar-but-more-feminine names such as Ava or Avaleigh.

The question about whether to use a different spelling of a name will get you every answer from the entire spectrum. Some will think it makes it completely different in a positive/fresh way; others will think it’s exactly the same but with the addition of a complicated spelling issue; still others will think it makes it completely different but in a negative way. And pretty much everyone thinks it depends on the particular name and the particular spelling/pronunciation variation: Madison/Maddisynn is a different issue than, say, Isobel/Isabelle, or Catherine/Katharine. I’ve noticed a lot of negative word choices being used by both sides of such discussions, so clearly it’s an emotionally loaded topic.

My own personal opinion is that I’d generally prefer to use a common name than to use a re-spelling or alternate spelling of a common name, and that I would myself prefer to be a Kristen than a Kristynn. Others will feel THE EXACT OPPOSITE: they will FAR prefer to change the spelling of a name, and they will have always wished their own names had a more interesting spelling. Furthermore, one of my children has an alternate spelling of a common name (it’s an honor name, and we used the honoree’s spelling), so clearly my opinion is only general, and is considerably flexible.

I wonder if you’d like:

Ava
Avaleigh
Avelyn
Avianna
Cecily
Eliza
Ellery
Eva
Eve
Genevieve
Ivy
Lila
Livia
Liviana
Savannah
Silvia
Victoria
Vienna
Violet
Vivian/Vivienne

I notice that some of my favorite combinations are the ones that would give you a 3-2-1 pattern: Genevieve Jordan Welch, Avaleigh Jordan Welch, Livia Jordan Welch, Eliza Jordan Welch, Cecily Jordan Welch. I find I tend to put the names that end in N toward the end of my list, because of the repeating ending with Jordan: I don’t like Avelyn Jordan as much as Avaleigh Jordan, for example.

Because this is your first baby, there are some other issues you may want to consider. If you find you like antique charm AND androgynous names, it can be helpful to think through the subject before choosing any names: would you want to mix them (sisters named Avery and Isabella, for example) and, if not, which style would you prefer to allow to dominate? One good way to mix styles is to do first names in one style and middle names in another; since your first daughter will have a unisex middle name, a pattern of antique charm first name + unisex middle name might work beautifully.

I also think it’s useful to consider ahead of time which names might rule out other names. If you use Alivia this time, will you still want to use Avery later, or would those two names be too similar in sound? If you use Alivia, would you still be able to use Oliver for a future boy? If not, it’s a good time to think about which name you’d prefer to use.

 

 

Name update! S. writes:

Thank you to you and your readers for your advice back in October regarding the name of our baby girl. In the end, we chose a name that you suggested to us! We had not considered it previously, but it ended up being the perfect name for our girl and goes wonderfully with her honor middle name. Violet Jiord@n Welch was born on March 10 and we could not be more in love with her or her name!

Thank you again!

Baby Boy Groot

(Today I have several posts I ran out of time to answer at usual length in the week after they arrived, but I’d jotted down a single suggestion in the spreadsheet. I’m going to post several in a row today with my extremely brief response, so that others can work on them further if they want to.)

C. writes:

HELP!

I wrote to you during my last baby naming experience, but you, quite understandably, did not get to my letter. Now I’m in what I think is an even worse predicament. My husband, P@ul, and I (Catherine) are expecting our 5th baby, a baby boy in February. We have one son who is named after my husband and I think that is our problem. The name P@ul is not my style, but my husband felt strongly about having our son named after her him, so P@ul it was. The name has totally grown on me and I love it because it is the name of my darling boy. But it is still not my style and I feel stuck in choosing a sibling name to go with it. If I could have named him what I wanted to he would have been Knightly or Stafford. I would not use either one of these names now. Not only because they don’t go with Paul, but because I think my naming style has evolved and I would really like something classic, old school, but that sounds current without being overly popular, and is a good sibling match for P@ul. Here are my only two contenders for this baby . . .

1) Charles – I love the name Charles, I think it goes well enough with P@ul and I love the nickname Charlie, even more so than I love the name Charles. But there are so many little girls running around with the nickname Charley, and I don’t want this boy to ever feel as though we gave him a girls name.

2) Linus – I’m well aware of the Peanuts association, but it doesn’t bother me at all. I’m not totally sold on it, and my husband doesn’t care for it all. Also I don’t think it fits with Paul as well as Charles.

And a couple of names that I like but that are out for various reasons.

I also like Jack, but it is my father’s name and I already have 1 nephew named for him, and a nephew on the way who will also be named for him, I think that’s probably plenty for one family. =D

I also like Michael, but my husband doesn’t it and I have 2 brothers in law with the name, too.

I feel stuck in a baby naming rut in trying to come up with a baby name that matches a name that, I love, but is not my style. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Our last name is very Swiss and very harsh sounding to the ear. The name Groot (rhymes with Boot) is a good stand in.

This is difficult to answer without the other sibling names, but I would suggest John. I’m not sure, though, if this might be the very name being used to honor your dad Jack.

 

Name update; C. writes:

I have been dreading writing this letter to you, it is not the letter I thought I would be writing but I wanted to thank you and your readers  for helping us to choose a name for our sweet baby boy.Our dear and perfect baby boy was born an angel.  Our hearts are broken, but we know that our son is part of our forever family. When the doctor handed me my beautiful and perfect infant, and asked, “Does he have a name?”  It felt like such a gift to be able to say, “Yes, this is Charles Jack.  Baby Charlie”

Baby Girl Roach, Sister to Vivian

(Today I have several posts I ran out of time to answer at usual length in the week after they arrived, but I’d jotted down a single suggestion in the spreadsheet. I’m going to post several in a row today with my extremely brief response, so that others can work on them further if they want to.)

K. writes:

We are due with our second baby girl in early February 2013.  We have one daughter, Vivian Marie, who will be 3yrs old this November.  Selecting her name was easy, the name Vivian had always been in the back of my mind (even before Brangelina chose it).  I had always loved it, and when I suggested it to my husband, he liked it right away!
Well, things are not going so well this time.  We aren’t arguing over names, we just really don’t have any contenders.  We are thrilled to be having another girl, the only issue is her name!  I don’t want her to feel second best or that we didn’t put any effort into finding the perfect name.  I want to find a name we love just as much as Vivian, but nothing is really jumping out to either of us.
Another challenge is working around our last name…Roach.  Yep, just like the bug!  All color or flower/nature names are out.  It is also a harsh one syllable name.  I think of it like the period to the end of a sentence.  Because of that, I feel the first & middle names need to be a 3/2 or 2/3 syllable combo to soften the feel of the name.
We believe this will be our last child.  However, we have not made a definite decision, so the thought of a third child is out there.  If we were having a boy, we had considered Jonathan and Arthur.  I love both of those, but we did not get too far into the boy name discussion.
I want to stay away from “V” & “R” names, and I don’t want a name that is too popular.  Unfortunately, I think I have become overly critical in my obsession with finding the perfect name.  Here is a list of names I like along with my concerns/reasons why they won’t work.
Miriam – I really like this name, but it is too similar to Vivian.
Evelyn – I like this name, but again worry it is too similar in sound to Vivian.
Juliet – I like this name, but don’t love it.
Charlotte – this name was brought up, but I immediately discounted it because it is too popular.  Also I don’t like the “CH” beginning with the “ch” ending to Roach (even though I know the Charlotte “Ch” is a softer sound, the visual just bugs me).
Judith – We both like this name, but don’t love it.  Also, it seems a bit too old-ladyish next to Vivian.
Josephine – I love this name, but we have a Joey, Joseph, and Sophie in our immediate family (Sophie negates using “Josie” as nickname), but I am considering this for a middle name.
Suzette – I really like this name (met one beautiful baby girl with this name and instantly loved it), but I’m not 100% sure it’s right.  Also, we have a friend with a Scarlett, is that too similar?
Brynne – I actually love this name, but my husband does not.  I also worry it is too short next to Vivian, and that it doesn’t sound great with Roach (this is the only 1 syllable name I have liked).
Corinne – I love this name as well, but my husband does not.  I also do not want the nickname Corrie (negative memory of girl I knew named Corrie).
**Just a side note that I love the sound of Brynne & Corinne and can’t get that idea out of my head, but neither name  seems to really work for us.
Adele – Both of us really like this name, and want to love it, but we just don’t feel 100% that it’s the one.
Audrey – I really love this name, and my husband is warming to it.  I mainly just worry that this one is too popular especially next to Vivian…otherwise this is a current top contender.
Names I have considered, but rejected:
Cecelia/Celia
Gwyneth
Dorothy
Morgan
Margot
Amelia
Lydia
Adrian
Names I am considering for middle names:
Frances (family reference)
Josephine
Corinne
Margaret
Victoria
Helena/Helene (family reference)
Nicole
Madeline
Please let us know what you think…I know you get so many requests for help, but we would be so grateful to hear some of your advice!!
Thank you!
and
I emailed you a few weeks ago about our new baby girl, due Feb. 8th (email below).  Since emailing you, we have made some progress, but I would be so grateful to have your input!!!
Basically, we have it narrowed down to these names:
Adele
Audrey
Lydia
**My husband has also put Celia and Julia on his list, but I cannot get on board with these.  The “Seel-ya” sound and “Jool-ya” sound just don’t sit right with me, especially next to Vivian (our first daughter’s name).
I still love everything about Adele, but just can’t make the commitment to it 100%, and my husband is still mulling it over.  We both agree that Adele/Audrey have a similar feel, and my husband says Audrey is easier for him to say out loud.  I think that might be just because Adele is a name that is new to us…we don’t know anyone with that name, so he isn’t used to saying it.  With Audrey, I am still worried that it is too popular and/or could be come too popular, plus the name Aubrey is so similar and it is becoming quite popular.
Then there is Lydia.  She is back on the list.  Lydia was a possible contender when we were naming our first daughter, but it really wasn’t discussed for long as we pretty quickly decided on Vivian.  This is a name that I really like, but I have waffled on it.  Right now, I am liking it more the more I think about it.  However, I am worried that this name also could be come too popular.  I love the idea of a 3-syllable name that ends in A.  For some reason that flow just sounds good with Vivian to me, and Lydia is the stand-out in that category right now.
What do you think?  I would love the opportunity to hear your thoughts!!  At this point we are open to other suggestions for our short list, these are just the 3 names we both agree on at this point.  We would be so grateful to have your input!

 

I suggest Eleanor, with nicknames Ellie or Nora. Eleanor Roach; Vivian and Eleanor.

Of your three finalists, my favorite with Vivian is Lydia.

 

 

Name update! K. writes:

I just wanted to send your our name update!  Thank you very much for posting our name quandary.  The comments from your readers really truly helped us sort out our thoughts & opinions.  We came very close to selecting Audrey, and really gave Cynthia good consideration as well (Cynthia was a late addition to our list).  Lydia kept popping up in our discussions, but neither of us felt it was the right name for this baby girl.  We deliberated for what felt like forever, and I felt frustrated.  It seemed like we would never fall in love with a name.  Because of that, we decided to start fresh, so started over from scratch around Christmas.  We both went back through name lists trying not to over think things, and just write down any name that we liked.

Back during the early stages of our name search, I had added Juliet to my list and my husband had Julia on his.  He couldn’t come around to Juliet, and I liked Juliet much better than Julia, so we left those names and just moved on.  Well, in our second round, my husband added Juliet to his list…he couldn’t remember why he hadn’t liked it in the first place.  Frustrating, yes(!!), but also exciting because we had a new name we both liked.  We tried it out for the last few weeks of the pregnancy, and there really was no other contender, but for some reason I felt like I couldn’t commit until we saw her.

Well, Juliet Frances was born on February 4th!  Frances was chosen because it is a family name, and now both of our girls have middle names that honor a family member.  We are very happy with our choice, and feel like she is already growing into the name!  We love Vivian & Juliet together as sister names, and even though I am not a big nickname person, I do love the idea of “Viv & Jules”.

Thank you again for all of your help!!  Photo is attached :).Juliet

Baby Boy Banish, Brother to Leo and Henry

(Today I have several posts I ran out of time to answer at usual length in the week after they arrived, but I’d jotted down a single suggestion in the spreadsheet. I’m going to post several in a row today with my extremely brief response, so that others can work on them further if they want to.)

Rebecca writes:

Help! I have two beautiful boys and am due with another boy on Christmas Eve. But I just can’t find a name that I really love. My other boys names are Leo Xavier and Henry Jude. Our last name is like Banish. I love their names and I want something equally special. But because this is our third boy, I kind of wanted to name him something a little less common but still sticking to the old fashioned English sounding names. Names we have thought of so far are-
Alfie (probably number one at the moment) but not sure about a grown man with this name and not sure if I could do Alfred.
Oscar- I loved this name for a few weeks but now I don’t know about it. Something just doesn’t feel right.
James (nickname jimmy)- very, very common though
Rupert- too old man like??
Franklin- quite long compared to my other boys names
Atticus- LOVE this name but husband is not convinced
Edward or Edmund- love the nicknames Ted, Ned, Teddy etc. prefer Edward but worried about the twilight thing.

Possible middle names (but haven’t really thought that far ahead yet!) are Luke/Lucas, Sonny, Noel (Christmas baby).

I really want to find a name that I love for this precious little guy but I’m running out of time and nothing seems to fit!

Kind regards (and pleas for help)

I suggest Felix! It’s one of my own favorites, and I think it’s wonderful with Leo and Henry while also being less common. And it means happiness and luck, which is lovely.

Name update! Rebecca writes:

I had my beautiful third boy five days ago so thought I would update you on the name we chose for him. We decided on Oscar Noel for our precious little guy. It suits him perfectly and nothing else seemed right for him. Thanks for everyone’s help and suggestions! 

Baby Boy Kelly; The Name Rhymes With a Godchild’s Name

(Today I have several posts I ran out of time to answer at usual length in the week after they arrived, but I’d jotted down a single suggestion in the spreadsheet. I’m going to post several in a row today with my extremely brief response, so that others can work on them further if they want to.)

K. writes:

My husband and I are really struggling to name our baby boy, due January 3rd. This is our first baby. Our last name is Kelly.
For a little background, I think we mostly like strong, traditional names. We have decided on the middle name of Michael, since that is both of our fathers names. I know you say that you shouldn’t pick a middle name before the first, but in this case, I think it goes with most first names and frankly, middle name flow isn’t that important to me – I’d rather use an honor name.
We have one name that we both love – Owen. I think that we would have decided on this name weeks ago if it weren’t for one problem. My best friend is due any day now with a baby boy they are naming Rowan. I am the godmother. We don’t live in the same city now and.only see them 4-6 times per year, but I talk to her almost daily and I don’t know if it’s too weird to have baby names that rhyme. I tried to bring it up casually, but she didn’t really say anything either way.
For the time being, we have decided that Owen is our first choice and we might go with that if we don’t come up with something else. Our second choice is Patrick, a name I love and my husband’s grandfather’s name.
Other names on my list (my husband has vetoed most): Henry, Jack, Charlie, Sam, Max, Oliver, Elliot, Everett, Milo, Finn, Bennett, Will, Mason, John (the only one my husband doesn’t hate).
My husbands list: Sean, Evan, Chase. I don’t like any of those.
Names we like that are out for family reasons: Aidan, Liam, Andrew
I don’t know if we should just go with the name we like or if we should keep looking. Owen has been the only name we can even come close to agreeing on so far. Maybe there’s something we haven’t thought of?

If Rowen were the name of a friend’s child, I would say go ahead and use Owen. Since Rowan is your godchild, I’d avoid Owen—although I don’t think it’s any kind of disaster if you go ahead and use it. I suggest Nolan instead.

Or I do love the name John tremendously, and I love it with Michael. Since your husband likes the very similar name Sean, it seems like an excellent compromise name.

I do generally suggest not choosing the middle name first, but only to make the naming process easier. Of course if there is a very important honor name and the parents are willing to make compromises in their preferences in order to use it, the suggestion does not apply in that particular situation.

Name update! K. writes:

In the end, we decided to go with Owen, since it was the one name that we both loved and agreed on. Your readers’ advice was so helpful and really gave me the courage to go with the name that I loved.

We had our baby on January 8th and we couldn’t be any happier with his name. Thanks so much!

Baby Boy Hennen, Brother to William

Kelly writes:

I LOVE your blog, follow religiously, and would appreciate yours and your readers’ advice. We are having such a hard time naming our second child!  I am Kelly (Jean) and my husband is Brian (Paul). Our last name is Hennen (Hen-nen). We have an 18 mo old little boy, William Andrew, who will be 22mo when this baby is born in the middle of February (17th). I love William’s name, he goes by William. Frequently, William Andrew when I want his attention. I love the way William Andrew Hennen are all two syllable names and flow really nicely, in my opinion. When we started thinking of names I love the way Kelly, Brian, and William sounded together when picturing introducing our little family to people.  I love his name so much; I can’t find one that I like as much.
I thought I didn’t like “trendy” names, but I realize that William is top 5 and has been a top name for…forever. But I still love it. William was my grandpa’s grandpa’s name, and also a name on my husband’s side. Andrew was my mother’s father’s name and is big on my side of the family. But big as a middle name, I kind of want our boys/children to have their own first name. (Not a name that is the name of our siblings, sibling’s kid, cousin or cousin’s kid). This rule eliminates some favorites: Grady (love that this is different but not unheard of…it’s my brother’s name, he’s Grady Andrew), Thomas, Timothy, Jonathan, Noah, Zachary, Patrick, David, Daniel, Matthew, Michael, Nicholas, among others.
We’ve kind of eliminated names ending in N, because, Bri-an Hen-nen just doesn’t flow well. So, no Aden, Stephen, Simon etc.
Middle name I would like to keep from the family…I know this contradicts my first point. But Andrew is so big in my family, and I like that it ties William to the past. Some middle name options: Lee, James, Joseph (don’t like for first name because I don’t really like Joe or Joey, and my husband has several Uncle Joe’s and Cousin Joe), Frederick, Russo. Russo was my mom’s maiden name, and I really wanted William to have Russo for a middle name but hubby nixed that idea. My top middle name besides this would probably by Lee. It’s my grandfather and father’s middle name. My grandpa’s first name is Clinton and my dad’s first name is Kim. Dad would kill me if I named a boy Kim, and Clinton doesn’t seem to flow well with Hennen.
Names hubby didn’t like but I did (not enough to fight for them):
Jeffery, Miles, Caleb, George, Vincent, Bradley, Milo
Names we like but we’re not sold on:
Samuel – sister in law’s dog’s name. We have a nephew (Matthew) who’d be 3 1/2ish when this baby is born and would that be confusing to have baby Samuel and dog Sammy? For my hubby, he thinks that it’s okay to name a kid “after” a dog, I don’t.
Joshua
Eric (1 syllable) – also my husband’s boss’ name, he feels weird about naming a kid “after” his boss.
Paul (hubby’s middle name, but 1 syllable)
Peter
Theodore (nickname Teddy) – hubby doesn’t like it.
Lucas (all I think of is George Lucas and a big gray beard)
Nathanael (nn Neal? 1 syllable) – probably a front runner. Hubby has a cousin whose kid is Nathanael nn Nate or Nathan.
Elliott – hubby doesn’t like.
August – maybe middle name option? Giving both boy’s A. initials but not family names?
Alexander – hubby has a cousin Alex (a girl) and I’m not too fond of Alex Hennen. William and Alex?
Benjamin – like, but worry that Ben Hennen is too rhyme-y.
Oliver – with middle name Lee, would it sound too much like Oli-Lee?
Oliver is it too trendy? I’d love Henry, but isn’t that Prince Harry’s name? Prince William and Henry…? And also, Henry Hennen, definitely too rhyme-y.
When we were pregnant with William we also liked Wesley, but now we don’t like having boys with the same initials. Plus, that might rope us into using W. for first name initials for more kiddos.
I’d like one more child. If this baby was a girl, we like Julia, Molly, … now I can’t think of any more. They must have left my mind when I saw those boy parts on the screen a few weeks ago. :)
Any thoughts or help would be appreciated.
Hope this email made sense; it was kind of hard to type out all of our criteria once I got started!

Thank you in advance!

 

I think it would help to start by separating two kinds of common names, but I’m not sure what to call the two categories. One category would probably be called “trendy” names: they’re currently popular, but they weren’t even on the charts ten years ago, and in ten more years they might be gone again. Sometimes they’re groups rather than individual names, like “the Addy/Maddy names” and “the -aden names” and “the tradesman names.”

The second category is also common, but we wouldn’t call them trendy. Maybe classics, or traditional, or basic—something like that. This category is the category the name William falls into: it’s currently in style, it’s currently popular—but it’s been popular for ages, and we expect it to remain popular for ages. It might come and go a bit, fashion-wise; the fashionable nickname might change from Billy to Willy to Liam to Will; but we wouldn’t call it trendy.

There tends to be some overlap. For example, the names Oliver and Henry have definitely come into style recently in a way we might call trendy—and yet they’re also classic/traditional/basic names. I wouldn’t even call them trendy, I’d call them classics enjoying a resurgence of popularity. But if someone said those names were/felt trendy, I would know what they meant by that: there’s a trend for antiques, and Henry and Oliver fit in with that trend; there were no Henrys or Olivers in my classrooms growing up, but they’re all over the place now. They’re in an overlap area. And in the other direction, names that are “new/modern/trendy” in one generation can go on to join the ranks of the classics.

So I think it’s perfectly understandable that you would (1) not like trendy names, AND (2) name your first son William. It also makes perfect sense that you would want the first name to be the child’s own, but want a family name for the middle.

You have so many good names on your list, I’m more inclined to sift through those than to come up with more to add.

I think the name Samuel would work beautifully. Samuel Hennen; William and Samuel. If Sammy were the name of your own dog, I would probably reluctantly rule it out (we wanted to use Oliver but had a cat with that name), but a sister-in-law’s dog seems fine—especially if the dog is Sammy, not Samuel. You wouldn’t actually be naming a child after a dog, any more than you’d be naming a child after any of the other holders of the name Sam/Sammy/Samuel, or any more than you named your William after my William; they’d all just happen to share the same name. It doesn’t seem like it would cause any major confusion: if the 3.5-year-old was briefly confused even after having it explained to him that sometimes people have the same name (other family/friend examples can be used to support this point), he won’t still be confused at, say, age 5. I like Samuel August, or Samuel Joseph.

Eric is two syllables. But I too would feel a little uncomfortable using a boss’s name, unless that boss seems likely to be quite temporary. Aidric might work instead, or Derek, or Jared.

I think Paul is another great choice. I know you like the 2-2-2 rhythm, and so do I, but other rhythms are nice too. Paul Russo Hennen is great. If your husband is going to veto Russo again, I’d choose Paul Frederick Hennen or Paul Joseph Hennen.

Nathaneal is another good one, though I think the nickname Neal would be a hard-sell. If it’s important to you that it not be Nate/Nathan, I’d say it’s a poor gamble.

And of course I love Oliver. I think Oliver Lee is fine, but if it’s likely you’ll use first/middle a lot, and it seems like it IS likely, I’d choose something like Oliver Joseph or Oliver Frederick or Oliver Grady.

 

 

Name update! Kelly writes:

I wrote you back in October wanting help for our little brother to William. Just thought I’d let you know we had our baby boy last week!  A little early at 37 weeks but healthy and happy.  Our top two favorites after seeing this little man ended up being Samuel lee or Lucas Clinton.  I know.  I was shocked I liked Lucas Clinton as much as I did.  But as soon as he was born it was like a light bulb “oh, that’s Lucas!”   I did agonize about 36 hrs ish with the, would I be disappointed if I didn’t use Samuel since it really had been a top choice question.  But in the end, he really is our little Lucas.  We’re all adjusting and getting into our routines now that he’s here.  I wanted to thank you and your readers for your input.  I kept coming back to the post over and over weighing the opinions and advice.  So, thank you!

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Baby Girl Picks-with-an-H, Sister to Felicity

Erin writes:

We are expecting our 2nd daughter in about 5 weeks, and my husband and I can’t make up our minds!
Our first daughter is Felicity Katherine, last name rhymes with Picks, and starts with an H. We had absolutely no problem naming her, and I am still totally in love with her name. That being said, it is a tough one to find a sister name for because it is familiar but not overused, and it exudes happiness.
We lean towards classic names  that won’t be instantly tied to a certain decade. RIght now, we feel pretty confident that her name will be Helen Elizabeth or Harriet (but mostly call her Hattie) _____, though I suppose we’d be open to new suggestions (it just feels like we’ve considered EVERY name out there).
We love the quirky, fun alliteration of the double H names. My dilemma is that I think Hattie goes the best with Felicity, but I like Helen _icks better than Harriet _icks. And even though we intend to mostly call her Hattie, I know she will occasionally need to use her full name. Also, after reading some of your past readers’ emails and comments, the thought occurred to me someone might call her Hairy _icks. That thought had never occurred to me (or anyone else who I’ve shared our options with) until one of your commenters made a similar observation about the name Harriet Butler (Hairy Butts). Would that have crossed your mind with our name?
Does Helen or Harriet/Hattie immediately stand out as a better sister name to Felicity?
If we go with Helen, I’m not sure what nickname options there are. None of the ones I’ve heard of feel very intuitive. I like Nell, but it doesn’t feel very natural. But maybe something will just naturally evolve as her nickname. 
The other remaining question is what Harriet/Hattie’s middle name would be. I love Elizabeth, and it is a family name, but I think that might be too much of a mouthful. Our other possibilites are Anne (for Anne of Green Gables) and Lee (my middle name and mom’s maiden name) or Alice (grandmother’s name). Do any stand out as much better sounding than the others?
Thanks in advance for any help you can offer!!

It’s a close one, but I think I prefer Harriet _icks to Helen _icks, and I agree that I think Harriet/Hattie is better with Felicity than Helen. And it sounds as if you prefer the name Harriet.

If you do choose Helen, it’s such a short name you may not need a nickname, especially if Felicity doesn’t go by one.

If you choose Harriet, I think Harriet Elizabeth sounds great. It has the same number of syllables as Felicity Katherine, and I like longish girl names, so it doesn’t seem like too much of a mouthful to me. I also very much like the sounds of Harriet Anne and Harriet Lee, but with shorter, less girly middle names, I start feeling as if the two girls’ names would be too contrasted: one ultra-feminine and whimsical, the other hip and quirky.

I don’t know if I would have thought of Hairy or not. I think the recent post might have brought it to my mind—but even with that, it didn’t occur to me until you mentioned it. Perhaps other children would think of it more quickly, though.

The name Henrietta would solve that issue, while still being similar to Harriet. Possible nicknames: Hennie, Etta, Ettie.

For another happy name, I suggest Annabel. Felicity and Annabel sound similar to me: both with hints of whimsy and Britishness and early colonial Americanness.

I also suggest Penelope, for the same reasons as Annabel.

And Clarissa, same reasons again.

And Phoebe, same.

I also suggest Eliza, and Eloise. Those feel a notch less whimsical than Annabel and Penelope to me, but they have a sass and spirit that I think goes well with the name Felicity.

Genevieve, too, is lower in whimsy, but I think it’s great with Felicity. I like the nickname Evie, but Genna and Genny and Gen and Eve are available too.

Or Josephine, with the nicknames Josie and Jo.

For a bit of a long shot, I suggest Anastasia. It’s a somewhat different style than Felicity, but I like the way both names are long and unusual. The darling nickname Annie helps sell it, too.

Name update! Erin writes:

You were kind enough to post my dilemma back in October or November and I wanted to let you know that our little girl, Harriet “Hattie” Elizabeth Hicks, was born on 11/29.

You and your readers’ comments were so very helpful to me, so thank you very much. We went back and forth even on the day she was born but love the name we landed on.

Thank you again!!

Baby Naming Issue: Juliette

M. writes:

I am very emotional and I need some reassurance about the name my husband and I have chosen for our 3rd daughter (due this January). We have two daughters already, Annabe11e Marie and C1ara E1izabeth. Their names were chosen easily and without any conflict. Our last name is fairly normal and can go well with almost any first name. After much discussion and thought, my husband and I have chosen the name Juliette Pearl for baby #3. 
The problem is that I am starting to have doubts about this name. I loved it at first, so much that I told anyone who asked, including our daughters who now refer to “Baby Juliette” all the time. My husband loves the name – he thinks it sounds feminine and elegant and I agree; however, I have some issues. For one, I am thrown off that everyone is pronouncing it JU-liette instead of juli-ETTE. I am also worried that Juliette is such a heavy and grown-up name that it may not “fit” a little girl. 
I still love the name…I am just having cold feet. My husband thinks I am being a touch hormonal (which I acknowledge is a real possibility), and that I need to relax. I just wonder: what is your impression of the name Juliette? Is it too much for a child? Is it a sweet and elegant name that matches her sisters’ names?  I know you are incredibly in demand and have a lot of requests, so I really appreciate any time that you choose to devote to this issue. 
Thank you so much!

I second your diagnosis of cold feet. It sounds like this is the right name for your family.

My guess is that the issue of emphasis will be persistent but minor—similar to the way Annabe11e will, over the years, regularly need to clarify for people that Annabe11e is spelled with two N’s and two L’s and an E. Most names have an issue of this type.

Juliette does not seem like a heavy name to me, which makes it hard for me to consider if it would be too heavy for a little girl. It seems sweet and elegant to me, like Annabe11e and C1ara.

But if you decide it’s not right for you, there’s still a third of the pregnancy left for changes. If you think there’s any chance you might not use the name, I’d start by telling the children that the name is not yet certain, to take some of the pressure off. Hearing the name in their little voices, it can feel like it’s a done deal—but it really isn’t, at this point. And of course I’d tell your husband that you’re not yet certain: he can call it cold feet, but if it’s NOT cold feet, he’s going to keep thinking the issue is closed until you say so. But you still have plenty of time to think and decide, and if you’re not done thinking and deciding, he needs to be brought back into the thinking/deciding stage too, instead of thinking it’s all taken care of.

Name update! M. writes:

Thanks for your help with our baby’s name. After much thought, we stuck with Juliette (nickname Jules) and it fits our little darling PERFECTLY. It’s a perfectly feminine name for the third of three sisters.

As an aside – I just yesterday learned that Mabel was originally a nickname for Annabelle. I wish I had known that six years ago when we named our Annabelle – I LOVE it as a nickname; however, six is a little old to start using that kind of nickname and my daughter hates it. I told her that I will use it when she’s being a stinker. Ha.

Thanks again for your help!

Middle Name Challenge; Family Honor Names in a Divided Family; Honor Names vs. Dearly Loved Names

Jessica writes:

I am a devoted reader of your blog – I absolutely love it and think you give the best advice. I was convinced that because I’m such an avid reader I would never need to ask you for help, but here I find myself 30 weeks pregnant and at a total loss!

My name is Jessica, my husband is Patrick and we both have a hyphenated last name that sounds like Rinn-Loven. We have a two year old son named Milo Thomas and are expecting a little girl in early November who will definitely be our last child. After spending a LOT of time thinking about names, we are 99% certain that this little girl will be named Cora. We love that it’s short, classic, feminine without being frilly and “Cora, Unashamed” is a favorite short story of mine. I’m a little concerned that it’s getting too popular but think I love it enough that I don’t care. If for some reason she comes out and absolutely is not a Cora, other favorites are Olive, Rosalind, and Matilda. But I’m pretty sure she’s Cora.

But I’m writing because I am terribly stuck on a middle name. Middle names are important to me; we often call Milo by his full name and I love that Thomas is after my father in law who passed away soon before Milo was born and was a wonderful man. Since Milo’s middle comes from my husband’s family, we decided this baby’s middle would come from mine. The problem is that my parents split up when I was very young and my family has always been very divided and I’m afraid if I choose one side I will be letting down the other. So here are our current favorites and the concerns we’re having with each one:

Cora Hazel (husband’s favorite) – Hazel was my paternal grandmother and someone I was very close to. Concerns are that the names don’t seem to flow all that well together and my mother and grandmother very much did not get along, so I’m worried that my mother would be upset if I chose Hazel.

Cora Shane – my sister is named Shaynee and is the person I am closest to in the world. Plus, like me she represents both sides of my family. Problem is that I usually really don’t like traditionally male names on girls, so I’m worried about using Shane (but Shaynee really isn’t my style) plus I have a younger half-sister so is it awful to use the name of only one sister?

Cora Frances – this is a bit of a stretch but researching my ancestors I saw that my great-grandparents came to the U.S. on a ship called the France and I thought it would be nice and not too controversial in my family if I used Frances. My husband’s not thrilled about the name, though.

We tried to think of non-family names that still have meaning for us and we both seem to like:
Cora Beatrice
Cora Clementine
Cora Flannery
Cora Juliet
Cora Scout

But none of these feel quite right. If we’re not using a family name, we’d like the name either to have a nice meaning or for it to reflect a literary character or strong historic woman so that it still had some meaning for us. I know I might sound crazy to some people because it’s “just” a middle name, but middles are really important to me and since this will be my only daughter I desperately want to get it right.

Any suggestions or advice you or your readers have would be much appreciated. Thank you!

and

Me again with one quick update in case you choose to post my question. We’re still 99% sure our little girl is Cora and top contenders for middles are still Hazel, Shane or Frances but we’ve decided that our second favorite name is definitely Olive, so if the baby is not Cora she’ll be Olive. My husband is 100% settled on using Cora, which I still love but I’m finding myself incredibly sad at the thought of never having an Olive, which is a name I have adored for a long time. So the question is, should we go with Cora Olive? Does that sound terrible together? Am I missing the chance to give her a special connection with a family member if I don’t use an honor name like her brother has?

 

I think honor names end up being primarily for the satisfaction of the parents. I do think many people feel happy about their own honor names, and that they do feel a connection to that family member or historical figure as they tell their naming story over the years—but that many other people don’t care much either way and/or don’t feel an increased connection. I continue to feel so happy that I gave my eldest son my grandfather’s name as his middle name—but my eldest son barely cares at all. My grandfather died when my son was very little, so there’s no special connection there; the name was instead about my own connection to my grandfather. I think Rob likes that he has an honor/family name (and my grandfather definitely liked that I used it), but I think he would also have liked a non-honor name.

So for me, the sadness at never having an Olive would trump the connection to a family member or literary character—especially in a family where an honor name is likely to come with stressful issues and possibly hurt feelings. Your daughter would have the same middle-name naming story as my daughter does: that one of her parents loved the name so much, it had to be used. It’s a good naming story; it has gone over well at our house in our tellings of it to her. The special connection of the name would be to you, because of your love for it. Furthermore, it’s fun to think that because of that story, your daughter might use her middle name as her own daughter’s first name someday: you might get a granddaughter named Olive!

But that’s only how my own feelings are ranked. Your own feelings might not be the same: maybe when you think it over, you’ll find that your sadness at not using a namesake name trumps your sadness at never using the name Olive. Maybe you’ll find it would be enough to instead use the name Olive for a pet, or for a doll for your daughter.

If you don’t use Olive, I think Shaynee is the clear best choice. With the name Hazel, I was thinking of my late mother-in-law and how I’d be okay (if a bit teeth-clenched for a moment) if one of my kids named a child after her—but I think my feelings would be more extreme if Paul and I had split up and it was my EX-mother-in-law we were talking about. I would hope that a sweet little granddaughter would give me a new association with the name, but it would be a hurdle because I’d know the association was MEANT to be there. With the name Frances (for the boat France), it feels like too slim a connection to be worth giving up the name Olive.

But with the name Shaynee, I love that it would be for someone you have a close relationship with (someone your daughter could also hope to have a close relationship with, hugely increasing the odds that the name WOULD give her a special connection with a family member), and I love your reasoning that your sister belongs to both families equally. I’d use the actual name, rather than modifying it: I think naming style is only a tiny, tiny issue with an honor name—and since neither the original name nor the modified name fit your style, I’d use the original. (If you do go with the modified version, I think I’d go with the spelling Shayne: it makes it more feminine AND makes it more like your sister’s name.) Cora Shaynee Rinn-Loven. I am trying hard not to PUSH you to use this, because I anticipate it bringing you so much satisfaction in the future—and I’m imagining what a thrill it would be for your sister!

Another option is to use two middle names: give her a family honor name AND the name you love, and it’s win-win. Cora Shaynee Olive. It’s a lot of name with a hyphenated surname, but the names are short and most of them will be tucked away; for everyday use, she’d just be Cora Rinn-Loven.

I don’t think you have to use the names of both sisters. I see how it could be a little awkward if you were having two daughters—but you’re only having one daughter, so it seems like it makes sense that you’d just choose one honor name, and that the name you’d choose would be of the person closest to you. I also hope it will be delicately clear to the whole family that using your half-sister’s name would be more fraught with issues than using your sister’s name.

So, let’s see. I think you’ll be most happy with Cora Olive or Cora Shaynee, so those are the two I’m voting for. But there’s another possibility, and that’s that she’ll be born and you’ll take one look and both say, “Oh, man, she’s definitely an Olive!” In that case, she could be Olive Shaynee: the dearly-loved name and the dearly-loved family member.

 

 

Name update! Jessica writes:

I can’t thank you enough for posting my question. You and your readers’ responses gave us a lot to think about and ultimately helped us choose our little girl’s name. Cora Olive was born on November 7th and is just perfect. I’m so excited that I got my Olive and already can’t imagine her by any other name! Thanks again!

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