Dear Swistle,

Our second baby boy, the fourth and last baby for our family, is due the first week of March. There really are no names we have fallen in love with that we would even settle on, at this point.

Here is our dilemma:

Our last name is “Herr” and rhymes with “fur”. Therefore, any name that ends with “-er” sounds like a stutter. Also, any name that is a verb, or COULD be a verb, is often laughable. For example, Colin, Paige, Mark, Philip, etc.

Our other kiddos are Reese Elizabeth, John Manning IV (n.n. Jack …yep …pretty bad connotation with our last name), and Henley Macon (girl). Given that our first two have single syllable names, and our third has two syllables …we are leaning towards two or more syllable names for our fourth. Also, we have honored all sides of the family with our older children, except my maternal side, so we are considering “King” as a middle name (other names from that side of the family we aren’t jumping to use are Bartow, Francis, Thomas, Whitley, Miller). Also, my husband’s family is rather large with numerous traditional names already claimed!

Independently, my husband likes Grayson. I feel that is too common. Other common contenders are Elijah, Weston and Bennett. However, Bennett can be shortened to Ben Herr (you see the comedy there, I am sure) I love the name Declan, but our dog is Dunkin.

We welcome any ideas! We love names with a biblical meaning or that relate to our ancestry (we are primarily Irish with lots of Western European).

Thank you for considering this conundrum! I love pouring over your blog for ideas!

Gratefully,
Ashley

This is an interesting puzzle. Normally, I like the sister names in a family to coordinate, and the brother names in a family to coordinate—even if the parents’ naming style is different for girls than for boys. So in a family with Reese and Henley for girls, and John/Jack for a boy, and another boy on the way, I’d be looking for something similar to John/Jack: Charles/Charlie, for example, or Andrew/Drew, or William/Liam. But in this case, you have two girls with coordinated names, and then you have a boy with an honor name that does not fall into what appears to be your usual style/popularity preferences.

And generally, when one child has an honor name, I feel that falls into the “easy to explain” category, giving parents more flexibility to NOT worry about coordinating with that name. On the other hand, I like to avoid setting up situations where a child’s name is repeatedly misunderstood because of sibling names; in this case, with two girls who have unisex/surname names and one boy with a traditional/classic name used almost exclusively for boys, adding a third unisex/surname name could cause the name to be mistaken for a girl’s name.

I’m mostly thinking aloud here, because most of the names you’re looking at are not unisex enough for me to suspect they’d cause any confusion; also, if you were writing to me saying you felt pressured to find a name to coordinate with John/Jack, I’d be assuring you that that was not necessary. I might, however, look for something more common and used almost exclusively for boys.

Weston seems to me like a good option. It’s not even in the Top 100 (for comparison, the Social Security Administration reports that in 2017, John was #27, Jack was #35, Grayson was #34, and Elijah was #8), and in the U.S. it’s used almost exclusively for boys. Weston Herr; Reese, Jack, Henley, and Weston. I like that.

Skimming the Celtic section of The Baby Name Wizard, I noticed Broderick. Quite uncommon, not currently even in the Top 1000, but familiar because of the surname. Snappy sound like Jack. Currently used in the U.S. exclusively for boys. Broderick Herr; Reese, John, Henley, and Broderick. You could perhaps use Brody as a nickname. Reese, Jack, Henley, Brody.

Or Camden. Camden Herr; Reese, John, Henley, and Camden; Reese, Jack, Henley, and Cam.

Cormac is similar to Declan but probably too close to Jack? But maybe not? And I can be unpicky about similarity between one sibling’s given name and another sibling’s nickname. I am not even opposed to rhyming nicknames, so that’s where I am on the spectrum of minding about this. Cormac Herr; Reese, John, Henley, Cormac; Reese, Jack, Henley, and Mac.

If I may delicately ask: how old is the dog? Because Declan just seems great to me, but I wouldn’t want the tongue-tangle of it, either. But if it wouldn’t be for very long… But maybe Dec Herr is something we want to avoid anyway.

Ooo, maybe Finian? Finian Herr; Reese, John, Henley, and Finian; Reese, Jack, Henley, and Finn.

Or Griffin, same Finn nickname.

Keegan is cute, and similar to Declan. Keegan Herr; Reese, Jack, Henley, and Keegan.

Moving out of the Celtic section now:

Nolan Herr; Reese, Jack, Henley, and Nolan.

Calvin Herr: Reese, John, Henley, and Calvin; Reese, Jack, Henley, and Cal.

Wilson Herr; Reese, John, Henley, and Wilson; Reese, Jack, Henley, and Wil/Will/Wils.

Milo Herr; Reese, Jack, Henley, and Milo.

Thompson Herr; Reese, John, Henley, and Thompson; Reese, Jack, Henley, and Tom.

Lincoln, similar to Declan. Lincoln Herr; Reese, John, Henley, and Lincoln; Reese, Jack, Henley, and Linc/Link.

I love the name Paul and it’s a good biblical name and I love it with John, and it’s currently fairly uncommon, but it feels like there aren’t enough consonants in Paul Herr.

Maybe Simon. Simon Herr; Reese, Jack, Henley, and Simon.

We are expecting our third and last child and just found out we are having yet another boy. His older brothers are called Michael Oliver and Adrian Thomas, last name Building with a G. My husband and I have had trouble agreeing on names before, but this time we both thought Benjamin would make a perfect name for our last baby, as it is traditionally given to the youngest of a family. We can’t think of a middle name though, and although middle names are not particularly used in the US, maybe just an initial, we have a lot of family from south america and they usually refer to children by both first and middle names. So we want something that goes well (does not have to be latino). Please help us!

I am wondering if we should take into account the nickname Ben as we search. For example, I thought Benjamin John would be a nice combination, and nice with the brother names—but would he ever be called Ben John? Or would it always be the full first name plus middle?

I notice both brother names are five syllables for the first + middle. I don’t see any need to do the same for the third brother, but games like that can help start a list.

Benjamin Charles
Benjamin Daniel
Benjamin David
Benjamin Davis
Benjamin Jacob
Benjamin Joseph
Benjamin Leo
Benjamin Louis
Benjamin Matthew
Benjamin Maxwell
Benjamin Milo
Benjamin Patrick
Benjamin Robert

But I also like the sound/rhythm of a one-syllable middle:

Benjamin George
Benjamin James (uncertain about the repeating -jam-/Jam-)
Benjamin Luke
Benjamin Paul

Update on Baby Boy Whit-with-an-E

Update (and photo) on Baby Twins M@njg@fic, Siblings to Cecilia

We are in the middle of moving house, and it is overwhelming and stressful and sad and happy and THERE IS SO MUCH WORK AND IT WILL NEVER END, so I am hoping we can find some temporary ways to keep this blog up and running even while I am cleaning out from under the refrigerator (“Hey, there’s that dinosaur magnet we lost ten years ago!”) and trying to find which box I packed the postage stamps in (shouldn’t they be with the bills and address labels? why AREN’T they?).

For today, what if we talk about any name or names we’ve been noticing recently, for whatever reason. Is there a name you feel like you’re recently hearing a lot more of, or a name you think is due for a comeback, or a name you recently added to your Sad I Can’t Use It list, or a name you heard in real life for the first time, or a name you noticed in a book you were reading and have some thoughts about, or a name that is growing on you from hearing it in use?

We will try to keep things relatively positive overall, but I think it would be fine to tactfully/gently make less-positive remarks, as long as we are keeping in mind that there could be some dearly loved ones in our midst who have used the very names we have recently been wondering if they will EVER drop gracefully back out of fashion.

Dear Swistle,

We are having a second boy, due in February, and having a very hard time deciding on a name. My husband is Indian and most of his family is still located there. I am American and we live here in the US. Our last name Gupt@ is a very common Indian last name.

When naming our first son, we chose the name Rowan because we liked how similar it sounded to the Indian name Rohan, which we both loved. However, we felt Rohan would be frequently mispronounced in the US and Rowan was a good compromise because it would be pronounced the same in both cultures. (I have a name that is frequently mispronounced, so this is something that is always on the top of my mind when choosing a name.) We ended up giving him an Indian middle name, Aayan, so that he could always have the option to go by an Indian name if he wanted in the future.

When we got pregnant again, we said we would name the baby Aria if it was a girl (Arya is also an Indian name), but it turns out the baby is a boy and we are totally stuck. We want a name that is accessible to both cultures and sounds good with Rowan. I also don’t like many of the usual suggestions for crossover names (Jay/Jai, Nikhil/Nik, Hari/Harry, AJ/Ajay, Sam/Sameer, Vik/Vikram, etc)

Top contenders right now are:
Rishi – Indian name but easy to pronounce by everyone. Would it be weird if one child has an Indian name and the other does not? Also, if we choose this name, do we give the baby a western middle name? We also discussed Reece, which sounds a little similar to Rishi, but my husband prefers Rishi as he associates Reece with the actress Reese Witherspoon and finds it too feminine
Kieran – Kiran is an Indian name, so it is similar to Rohan/Rowan in that it sounds the same but spelled differently. But we’re not Irish, so would it be strange if both of our kids have Irish names? We’ve also floated the idea of Kirin or Kian instead. We have a close relative (female) named Kiran, so I’m not sure if using the Indian spelling is an option
Archer (Archie for short) – I love this name, but my husband isn’t crazy about it. He associates Archie with the comic, which was very popular in India when he was growing up. I think Archer would be easy to pronounce and similar to Indian names like Archana, Archan, Archit
Damian – Not really an Indian name but I’ve found a few websites that say it has Sanskrit origins. It’s my least favorite of the four because I find it to be a little long with three syllables and no clear nickname, but husband really likes this name

I think I could be talked into any of these names, but none of them stand out as the perfect one. I would love your suggestions on other options and thoughts on these.

Thanks in advance for your help!

My favorite is Kieran. I like the way it echoes what you did last time with Rowan/Rohan. And I think Celtic names are mainstream enough in the U.S. that it doesn’t seem odd if someone has a couple of them in a non-Celtic family.

Update on Baby Boy Smith, Brother to Zane and Julian

Hello!

My husband and I are expecting our third boy in a few months. We are struggling with names for this little one. Our first two boys were relatively easy to name, but we’ve found nothing that feels right with this little one.

Our surname is Anderson and we currently have a Wyatt James and a Monroe Alexander. Since we have an extremely common last name for our state, we’ve tried to choose names that are not as common, but still names people have heard before. We have not chosen a first or middle name, as we find middle names are easier when a first name is selected.

Names we’ve considered are Nolan, Selby, Ellis, and Felix.

Any help is greatly appreciated.

Thank you!

Of the four you mention, I particularly like Nolan, Selby, and Ellis: I like the surnamey feeling with Wyatt and Monroe.

Selby is a name I haven’t encountered before, and I find I like to say it. I wonder if you would like Crosby.

I like the way Selby and Ellis bring in entirely new sounds. My one hesitation with Nolan is that it repeats some of the sounds from Monroe—not at dealbreaker levels, but just enough to catch my ear. I wonder if you’d like Calvin? It’s similar to Nolan but less similar to Monroe.

My one hesitation with Ellis is the way it flows into Anderson: it could sound like Ella Sanderson. I think for me that would be a dealbreaker.

Similar to Ellis are Davis and Harris and Hollis. They have a similar flow issue, but Dava and Hara and Holla are not as easily mistaken for first names.

Oh, maybe Keaton? Keaton Anderson. Wyatt, Monroe, and Keaton.