Lindsay writes:

We are stumped with a name for our little one. Since we don’t know what we are having we need to narrow down our name selection for a boy and girl. Here are the names we have so far:

GIRLS:
Leah Grace
Abigail Elizabeth
Abigail Jo
Kate Elizabeth
Corrine Elizabeth
Cora Elizabeth
Ruby Elizabeth
Ruth (Ruthie) Elizabeth

BOYS:
Jesse Michael
Liam Michael (although I don’t know if the double m sounds good?)
Cael Michael
Grant Michael
Garrett Michael

A little bit of information for the above names: 1) I never really cared for my own middle name of Jo. My mom and I have Jo for our middle names. I am hesistant to carry on Jo as a middle name since I didn’t start liking my middle name until several years ago. 2) Elizabeth is the middle name for two very important people in our family. 3) Michael is my husband’s first name. I have always wanted to carry his name down to our first child but it’s not a must have. 4) My husband’s father passed away some time ago and would love to honor him through one of his names (George Henderson) but I am just not feeling it. 5) Our last name is Stewart.

Thoughts on what sounds the best for a boy and girl name?

My favorite of your girl names is Cora: Cora Elizabeth Stewart. I also love Ruth(ie), but like less the repeating “oo” sound with your surname. (This is one of those totally subjective things where the very next person would say they loved the way the repeating sound tied the names together.)

My favorite of your boy names is harder to choose. I like the names that end in T, but not as much with a surname ending in T (Grant Stewart, Garrett Stewart) (again, the very next person would say they liked it for that very reason). I like Cael, but it’s almost the same as the second syllable of Michael.

I love the idea of using your father-in-law’s name. My mom knows a family where the boy is George, called Geordie (Jordy), and it’s made us both about ten times more fond of the name George. George Henderson Stewart, called Geordie, is one of the best names I’ve ever heard of.

Here are a few more boy name suggestions:

Callum Michael Stewart
Calvin Michael Stewart
Gavin Michael Stewart
Griffin Michael Stewart
Ian Michael Stewart
Leo Michael Stewart
Owen Michael Stewart
Reid Michael Stewart

Let’s have two polls over to the right, one for girl names and one for boy names. [Polls closed; see results below.]

Poll results, girl names (191 votes total):
Leah Grace: 28 votes, roughly 15%
Abigail Elizabeth: 18 votes, roughly 9%
Abigail Jo: 10 votes, roughly 5%
Kate Elizabeth: 18 votes, roughly 9%
Corrine Elizabeth: 24 votes, roughly 13%
Cora Elizabeth: 59 votes, roughly 31%
Ruby Elizabeth: 26 votes, roughly 14%
Ruth Elizabeth: 8 votes, roughly 4%

Poll results, boy names (175 votes total):
Jesse: 9 votes, roughly 5%
Liam: 18 votes, roughly 10%
Cael: 8 votes, roughly 5%
Grant: 17 votes, roughly 10%
Garrett: 5 votes, roughly 3%
Callum: 20 votes, roughly 11%
Calvin: 13 votes, roughly 7%
Gavin: 16 votes, roughly 9%
Griffin: 16 votes, roughly 9%
Ian: 8 votes, roughly 5%
Leo: 11 votes, roughly 6%
Owen: 17 votes, roughly 10%
Reid: 17 votes, roughly 10%

Jennifer writes:

My husband and I cannot choose a name for our baby girl. She is due August 23rd, and will be our fourth child. We have one son and two daughters. There will be 8 years age difference between our present youngest and the new baby. This time around, we are having great difficulty in choosing a name. We think of something, but have a problem commiting to it.

Our children’s names are common names. Dylan, Emma, and Abbey. However, they have some significance to us. Dylan is my husband’s middle name and a nod to Bob Dylan. Emma was a name I had been in love with for years (she was named before its surge in popularity), and Abbey is from the Beatles’ Abbey Road. Their middle names each have something to do with nature- Dylan Trout, Emma Rose, Abbey Rain. Again, these have some significance to us, Trout from a book title, Rose was a grandmother’s name, and Rain shortened from the word rainbow in another book title.

We would like to find a name for this baby that has some significance to us, but seem to have run out of ideas. We would like for the first name to have 2 syllables and the middle to have 1, but are willing to forgo this for a good name. Our last name is 2 syllables and begins with a B. We also like names that won’t typically be shortened to a nickname.

First names that at least one of us has liked: Maggie, Ellie, Callie, Audrey, Betsy, Charlie, Sadie and Robyn. We really have no names that both of us have agreed upon.
Middle name ideas we’ve had are: Sage, Reed, Ruby, and Wren. Nothing that really has significance to us.

Any new name suggestions or thoughts on names we’ve liked are much appreciated! Thanks so much!

New suggestions will be tricky, because we don’t know what names would be meaningful. We can, however, discuss ways to FIND meaningful names.

1. Stand in front of your bookshelf. Look at each title, each author; think of the characters in each book.

2. Go to a room in your house. Stand in the middle and turn slowly, looking at everything in the room. Maybe a print on the wall will remind you of the artist you like, or a knick-knack will remind you of a trip you took. Sift through those memories for names.

3. Think about the places you’ve lived together: towns, counties, states. Think of places you’ve gone together: coffee shops, bookstores, restaurants. Think of places you grew up, places you’ve gone on vacation together, places you’d like to go. Any good location names?

4. Look through your CDs and DVDs for artist/actor/character names.

5. Look at a family tree for first names and for surname names.

6. Think of your friends over the years, considering their first names and surnames.

7. Think of the people who’ve been important to you over the years: teachers, doctors, church and community members. Consider their first names and surnames.

8. Think of the places that were important to you in your childhood: schools and churches and parks sometimes have pretty names.

9. Think of famous people you’ve respected and liked: artists and actors and scientists and authors and politicians. Think of causes you feel favorably toward, and the people involved with them. Historical figures are good for this too.

10. Think of the books you liked as a child, and look for author names and character names.

Since this baby is much younger than her three siblings, I wonder if you might find a meaningful name by allowing the older children to help name her? Any name they chose would have meaning by merit of them choosing it. Or maybe there are name ideas in things that mean something to you as a family, or would have significance to your older children. Dae is a one-syllable middle name made from the other children’s first initials, for example; perhaps Day would make a pretty nature-y middle name. Or maybe the children would like to name the baby after someone important to them.

Most likely none of these will be meaningful, but here are some 2-syllable names I think go well with your first three:

Bella
Chloe
Gracie
Haley
Hannah
Josie
Katelyn
Kaylie
Lauren
Lila
Lucy
Maddie
Maya
Mia
Sophie
Zoe

Does anyone have other suggestions for finding a meaningful name?

Amy writes:

I’m due August 24 with my second child. We’ve chosen not to find out the gender. Our two-year-old daughter is named Caroline Stella and our last name is van Allen.

For boys, our top choice is John. At first, I was worried it was too plain or too Kennedy next to Caroline, but I’ve been looking through past posts of yours and saw you’ve already addressed the John and Caroline issue, so I guess it’s not too much of a problem! If we go with John, we’re stuck on a middle name – we like strong, classic names but want something a little more distinctive to go with John. We’ve considered John Benjamin and John William, but neither of those seem right to us. Any ideas?

For girls, we are tentatively considering Margaret, with the occasional nickname Maggie. We’re not quite sure about a middle name, either. Right now, my husband loves Julia, which I like. We’ve also considered (for first or middle names): Penelope, Abigail, Camilla, and Jacqueline. Any other ideas would be gratefully appreciated. :)

We find middle names so hard! With Caroline, we picked her middle name when we were actually in the delivery room – I’m hoping we’ll reach an agreement soon this time around!

I think middle names are an excellent opportunity to kiss up to someone you know and love, so I’d start with family names (both first names and surnames) if I were you: a father or grandfather or brother? a mother’s or grandmother’s maiden name? an uncle or friend? It’s also a good place for the name of an author or philosopher or political figure or actor or artist or scientist you like.

So that’s where I’d go if I were in need of a middle name, but that makes for a pretty sparse post since I don’t know what names would be on that list. Here are some other possibilities to consider:

John Caleb van Allen
John David van Allen
John Edmund van Allen
John Edward van Allen
John Frederick van Allen
John Harris van Allen
John Henry van Allen
John Isaac van Allen
John Wesley van Allen

For a girl, my two favorite combinations using your list are:
Margaret Camilla van Allen
Julia Margaret van Allen

Some more ideas:

Beatrice Joy van Allen
Charlotte Mae van Allen
Charlotte Mary van Allen
Eleanor Joy van allen
Georgia Faith van Allen
Georgia Ruth van Allen
Josephine Frances van Allen
Lillian Margaret van Allen
Lillian Ruth van Allen
Lydia Mae van Allen
Lydia Winifred van Allen
Rosemary Adele van Allen
Rosemary Grace van Allen

Ashley writes:

I am due with baby #2 at the end of August and my husband and I are having a really hard time agreeing on a name. Our son was born 6 weeks early, and it’s looking like this baby will come early too, so we are running out of time! We know we are having a girl, and we like names that start with the letter R. Our 2 yr. old son’s name is Riley, and it took FOREVER to agree on his name. As in, we sat in the hospital staring at him for awhile before I finally gave in and let my husband pick Riley. I really liked Landon or Camden, but he wouldn’t go for either of those. Naturally, since I pretty much let him decide on our son’s name, I feel that I should get to name this baby. At the same time, I still harbor a little bitterness about not being *IN LOVE* with the name Riley, and I’d hate to have him feel that way about our daughter’s name. I would really like for us BOTH to love the name we choose. Anyway, I’m finding that there aren’t a lot of girl’s names that start with the letter R. We’d like something a little different, but not weird. We don’t like Rachel, Renee, Robin, Rose, etc. I was in love with the name Reagan, but he hates it, particularly the association with former President Ronald Reagan. We both like the name River, but are unsure since it’s mostly a “boys” name. He wants to spell it differently (ex. Ryver, Riever) but I think this is a horrible idea. I think we should stick to spelling it the way it’s meant to be spelled. I’m also having a hard time deciding on a middle name. We want it to be a family name, and have narrowed it down to Margaret (both of our deceased grandmothers), Michelle (my sister, and we are very close), or Lavergne (his deceased grandfather). So what do you think about River for a girl? And what about the middle name? We are totally open to new suggestions for a first name, but are not really flexible on the middle names, aside from the ones I’ve listed. Baby’s last name is Schott, pronounced Shot.

I think of River as a boy’s name—and yet, there is no reason at all it shouldn’t be a girl’s name, and in fact if anything I think it works BETTER as a girl name. If you use it, I’m with you about the spelling: if nothing else because Ryver and Riever look like they’d be pronounced RY-ver and REE-ver, but also because it seems wise to limit the Unusual Situations to one per child. If you have to explain that it’s a girl name AND that it’s spelled differently AND that it’s pronounced differently than it’s spelled, I think you’re going to lose your minds.

If you use River, I like River Lavergne best. River Michelle is my next favorite. Margaret gives some seriousness to the name but may be too startling a style change.

Some more R possibilities:

Rainey. Perhaps too sing-songy with Riley, which is too bad because it has a similar flavor to the name River while being more distinctly feminine. I think it works fine with any of the middle names, though again my top two would be Lavergne and Michelle.

Raphaela. Oh my goodness do I like this name. It’s so pretty, but like many girl versions of boy names it has BACKBONE. I like it best with Lavergne: Raphaela Lavergne Schott.

Raven. Similar in style to River, but used more often for girls. I like it with either Lavergne or Michelle.

Reese. Androgynous, but Reese Witherspoon makes me think of this as the feminine spelling. Riley and Reese is a nice sibling set. I like Reese Margaret.

Rhonwen. Like Bronwen/Bronwyn. I like it with Margaret.

Romilly. I love this one, but I guess it shares too many sounds with Riley.

Romy. Adorable. Perhaps not use it with the middle name Michelle, because of the movie. Romy Lavergne is my favorite.

Rory. It really is too bad so many of these good R names share not only the first letter of Riley but also the last letter. I like Rory with any of the three middle names.

Rowan. Love it. Riley and Rowan. My favorite is Rowan Margaret.

Ruby. I like the way Riley and Ruby as a sibling set makes the name Riley seem more obviously a boy’s name. I think it’s good with all three middle names.

These are my favorite combinations:
River Lavergne Schott; Riley and River
Reese Margaret Schott; Riley and Reese
Romy Lavergne Schott; Riley and Romy
Rowan Margaret Schott; Riley and Rowan
Ruby Michelle Schott; Riley and Ruby

Let’s have a poll over to the right [poll closed; see results below], and more combination ideas (and/or votes for names not on the poll) in the comments section.

Poll results (248 votes total):
River: 35 votes, roughly 14%
Reese: 55 votes, roughly 22%
Romy: 17 votes, roughly 7%
Rowan: 65 votes, roughly 26%
Ruby: 76 votes, roughly 31%

Liza writes:

I’m due August 18th with boy/girl twins & the husband and I are totally clueless on what to name them!

We’re a blended family, both of us having children from previous relationships (he brought 3 children into our marriage while I brought 2) but when we married I chose to keep my last name at the request of my daughters (they didn’t want Mommy to have a different last name than they have), & so for the twins (who are our only children together) we’ve decided to go the hyphenated last name route, even though our surnames are totally different (mine is Celtic & his is Spanish). So their last name will be Aberdeen-Flores.

Adding to the difficulty of finding names that sound good with our two last names is trying to decide on what style of name to go with. My 2 girls have very Celtic names, Brietta Wynne & Keelin Gilda. My husbands children all have very Spanish names. The boys are Alonzo Turi & Donzel Berto and the girl is Carlita Abril. So do we go Celtic for the twins? Spanish? One of each? One style for first names and the other for middle? None of the above? We’re so confused!

Also, just to make things even harder, we want the twins names to sound good/go together. I’m not talking rhyming/matchy names or anything, but names of a similar style at least. Please help!

Just to give you an idea of our taste here is our (rather long) list of names that we like but can’t decide on. Ideas/input/new suggestions much appreciated!

Names we’ve considered so far for the girl(a mix of Celtic and Spanish):
Morrigan
Muriel
Nola
Arden
Oriana
Alandra
Cyntia

For the boy(another mix):
Arawn
Barden
Broin
Carbry
Alarico
Cristiano
Gilberto

Names that are neither Celtic or Spanish for the girl:
Amelia
Bryn
Audrey
Rebecca
Kathrine
Beryl

And for the boy:
Scott
William
Robert
Alexander
Christopher
Dean

Any input as to what everyone thinks sounds best as twin names/with the last name(s) and what combinations sound best for first & middle names would be great, as would any other name suggestions y’all can think up for us!

Thanks again (& sorry this was so long)!

Blended families already include naming compromises, as you’ve found with the surname situation: roughly 1/3rd of your children will have one surname, roughly 1/3rd a different surname, and roughly 1/3rd yet another surname. I think it is okay to do the same with their first names.

Your husband’s children’s names are the result of adding his tastes to their mother’s tastes. Your daughters’ names are the result of adding your tastes to their father’s tastes. If you and your husband now add your tastes to his, in the same way you did when naming the other children, I think you’ll end up with names that gently coordinate with the other children’s names without causing you to lose your minds looking for the names that will tie everyone together.

A useful exercise in this situation would be starting fresh and thinking, “If we DIDN’T have any children already, what names would we consider for the twins?”