(My mother-in-law is in town this week, but the babies don’t wait and the questions are coming in faster than I can answer them, so I’ll post some for anyone interested to work on.)

Katherine writes:

My husband and I are currently expecting a baby girl, who will be induced on October 7, 2009. We already have a daughter, named Violet Claire. Violet is named after my husband’s beloved grandmother, and I have always loved the name Claire. We settled on her name well into my second trimester. Naming a second daughter is so much harder than I ever expected, and we are nowhere nearer finding her name than we were the day I found out I was pregnant. Our family’s names are Andrew (Husband), Katherine (Me), Violet (Daughter). Our last name is K_____is.

My preference, if possible, is to have each child have one family name and one name of their own. Though, at this point I am open to anything.

Names we have discussed that are still in consideration: Hazel, Esme, Pearl, Jane, Audrey, Arden, Anne, Amelia, and Molly.

Our reservations about Hazel are that both Violet and Hazel are colors and plants. Am I the only one that immediatly goes to that connection? Also, my daughters will be less than 2 years apart and I don’t want them the silly, little ‘flower’ children. I love Esme and first discovered it and fell in love with it from the J.D. Salinger short story years ago, but we worry about the ‘Twilight’ coorelation with Esme, though the name is much more common in my husband’s native country therefore not a problem there (though we live here). Jane is by far my favorite, but my husband goes back and forth. I worry that Molly is a great name, but may sound too young or demure later in life. Is that just me?

Names I love that my husband has vetoed: Imogen, Bronwyn, Olive.

Names my husband likes that I won’t use: Grace, Sophia, Olivia.

Family names that could be used as middle names : Ruth, Adaleen, Marie, Jacquelyn.

Names that we love but don’t want to use due to the duplicate ‘ette’ ending sounds are : Charlotte, Juliet, Cosette.

We are open to any other considerations. I am still waiting for that magic combination of names that will just fly off the page!

Name update 10-22-2009! Katherine writes:

Jane Mirabelle was born October 11th. I loved many of the suggestions your readers sent in (especially Amelia Louise) but Jane was the name I really had my heart set on since I found out I was pregnant, and I was thrilled when my husband committed and said he felt like it ‘fit’ her too. Mirabelle is a name of a favorite character in a favorite book, but I wasn’t sure I was brave enough to use it until I read it as a suggestion for another one of your readers as a middle name. Thank so much for your help!

(My mother-in-law is in town this week, but the babies don’t wait and the questions are coming in faster than I can answer them, so I’ll post some for anyone interested to work on.)

Isla writes:

I’m due 10/6, and we still haven’t found a name for our newest addition.

My husband and I have two kids already. Our oldest is his son from his previous marriage (but I’ve legally adopted him) and his full name is Geovanni Domenico – though he is always, always Geo. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone call him Geovanni in the seven years I’ve known him. Our younger son is Owen Phinneas.

We are now expecting our first girl. I really want her name to fit in with Geo and Owen’s, but I feel like their names are too different and we’re having a hard time finding an in between point. Geo’s name was picked by my husband’s late wife, who was 100% Italian – my husband and I are not Italian whatsoever, but I don’t want Geo to feel left out if we give our little girl a name that sounds great with Owen’s name, but not with his.

Names at the top of our list right now (but not necessarily a fix to the problem I mentioned) include Eloise, Beatrice, Clare, Eliza, Danika, Rosalie (with ‘lie’ pronounced ‘lie,’ like not telling the truth), Safia, and Violet.

We also like names like Flannery, Hadley, Bliss, and Willow that don’t go with either of our sons names at all!

One last thing – for the past week or so I’ve been really loving the nickname Leni. I love the sound of it, and I like how it sounds with Geo and Owen. This may be our top contendor, along with Eloise and Flannery. But the only full names we can come up with for it are Helene and Elena, and we don’t like either. So if you could help me with some other possible full names for Leni, that would be great.

And any other names that you think might go well with our sons.. I don’t feel like we’ve found the perfect name yet (although I think we’re close) so maybe it will be one of your suggestions!

And finally, for middle names, we’re not looking to honor anyone, really, so whatever sounds good, because we don’t have any ideas in terms of that. But probably not any of the names I mentioned earlier, because we may want to use them for a future daughter.

Oh, Leni is so cute. I wonder about using a name like Marilena (which I am, perhaps incorrectly, pronouncing mare-ih-LAY-nah) and then using Leni as a nickname? Or Adelaina (add-eh-LAY-nah), which gives you not only Leni but Addy? Maddalena, which gives you not only Leni but Maddie?

Name update 10-17-2009! Isla writes:

Hi Swistle, thanks so much for all your readers suggestions. Our daughter was born on October 7th and her name is Rosalena Violet, called Leni, obviously (pronounced “Len-nee”). We’re really happy with the name .. we feel it fits in well with Geo and Owen – it has that long “o” which some of the comments pointed out, and it was a nice alternative to Rosalie. Thanks to mayberry for suggesting it to us!

(My mother-in-law is in town this week, but the babies don’t wait and the questions are coming in faster than I can answer them, so I’ll post some for anyone interested to work on.)

Amy writes:

Our 1st daughter is named Simone Maya. The middle name having a special meaning to us as we were married in Riviera Maya, Mexico. The choices of middle names with meaning we have come up with for our second daughter are Jean (runs in both sides of our families), Rose (our relationship started with a single rose) and Lily (Tiger Lily was our wedding flower). Now we can not come up good first name options, it’s been a huge struggle. I’m hoping you can help. Our Last name is one syllable and starts with a ‘B.’ Here’s some criteria of our likes and dislikes:

We would like:
Two syllables but no more than three
Something that sounds good with Simone
A Name (not made up, put together names)
When you see it written, you know how to say it (no funny spellings)
Meaning (Something that doesn’t have a negative meaning)

We do not like:
Super Popular Names (if it’s on the top 100 Social Security List, I will hestiate using it, even if I like it)
Highly Feminine Names (these often end in the ‘ee’ or ‘ah’ sound; Christy or Hannah) This is a hard one to avoid and if I find the right name, this one won’t matter.
Nicknames (the name should be the name)
Classic Names (we want something different than Elizabeth)

Name update 10-19-2009! Amy writes:

I wanted to thank all your readers for their name suggestions. It was great to read other people’s ideas. Our 2nd daughter was born on Oct. 18 and her name is Giselle Marie. Thanks to reader Giselle, we did use your name! In between contractions we decided on Marie for the middle name. We liked the flow and Marie is the same middle name of 3 very strong women that are and will forever be in our lives. Thank you again.

Laura writes:

Since I realized I was pregnant while reading your blog, it only seems fitting for you to help me name my baby girl. I am due October 16. I really thought I’d settle on a name as soon as I found out the baby’s sex, but here I am at 37 weeks and our list keeps getting longer. The baby’s last name will be Wilkerson, but I tend to prefer Italian or Italian-sounding first names since I kept my (very Italian) last name and I want both sides represented in her name. The middle name doesn’t have to be Italian, it just has to flow well with her first and last (and not lead to offensive initials, something my husband’s parents didn’t consider). Here is the list of names we came up with:

Giana Rafaela (Does this name work? My dad’s name is Ralph so I thought I’d try it out – I like it best with Giana but I’m not sure if it’s too much or not)
Zaira Jane
Sabrina Eve (Open to other middle names)
Lucia Isabella
Adriana (Looking for a middle name that flows like Marie…but any suggestions are welcome)

I’d like some middle name feedback where indicated, and (if possible), a poll on just the first names, and a poll on the first / middle combinations (one per first name – pick your favorite if you suggest more than one). Which name do you like best?

Thank you so much for your help!

How much do I love Giana Rafaela? HOW MUCH? A LOT, that’s how much. Beautiful. Oooo, I want so much to put it with YOUR last name. Imagine THAT lovely rhythm! But it’s lovely with Wilkerson too. I don’t think it’s too much: Giana is an unusual but easy first name, and you can call her Gigi if you want to. CUTE.

But you have a ton of good choices here—I can see why you’re having trouble narrowing it down. Have you tried some of the Narrowing Down tricks? Like, pretend you’ve decided on one name. Say to each other convincingly, “That’s it. That’s the name.” Then see how you feel. Disappointed? Sorry not to be using another name? Satisfied and happy? This helped me to narrow down my girl name when I had a list that included everything from Margaret to Magnolia: I found that one name appealed to me greatly, but not when I thought of actually choosing it for an actual baby—and another name I thought maybe I shouldn’t choose (in my case, because it was too unusual) ended up ripping my heart out when I thought of not using it.

Another good trick is to think of what you might like to name future children, and see which of your current names go best with that style.

Another trick is for you and the other parent to both make lists ranking the names. It doesn’t have to be 1-5 (though it CAN be)—-you can do it like this, for example:

Giana 1
Lucia 2
Sabrina 3
Adriana 3
Zaira 4

And maybe the other parent’s list would look like this:

Giana 1
Zaira 1
Adriana 2
Sabrina 2
Lucia 3

And then you can see where your tastes intersect most.

And here is my most useful trick: which one seems like My Baby? Picture your baby daughter in your arms, and picture each name on her. Which name makes you feel a rush of MY BABY? I have some names I LOVE but they DON’T sound to me like “My Baby”—they sound like Someone Else’s Baby whose name I LOVE.

I don’t shrink back from using a lot of syllables in a name ANYWAY, but I think Italian names sound particularly beautiful when they’re long. Seven syllables for Giana Rafaela seems PERFECT to me. So then a name like Sabrina Eve is just a little disappointing. I would lean more toward Sabrina Gabriella. Sabrina Mirella. Sabrina Gianna. Sabrina Elena. Sabrina Luciana. Sabrina Bianca.

Same for Adriana: the Adriana Marie sort of rhythm is so pretty (Adriana Nicole, Adriana Celeste, Adriana Clarisse, Adriana Corinne, Adriana Elise, Adriana Louise), but I want less French, more ITALIAN. Adriana Valentina. Adriana Rafaela. Adriana Caterina. Adriana Isabella. Adriana Marietta. Adriana Marilena. Oh so pretty!

Well, and yet I like Zaira Jane just the way it is, so go figure.

Okay, let’s have a poll! [Poll closed; see results below.] The poll will be for the first names, and anyone who has a middle name preference to go with their first-name choice can leave it in the comments. I don’t even KNOW what I’m going to vote for—I thought I liked Giana best, but then I kind of talked myself into all the others with the middle name stuff.

Poll results (216 votes total):
Giana: 129 votes, roughly 60%
Zaria: 7 votes, roughly 3%
Sabrina: 20 votes, roughly 9%
Lucia: 39 votes, roughly 18%
Adriana: 21 votes, roughly 10%

Name update 12-19-2009! Laura writes:

Thank you so much for your thoughtful response to my email – your advice was just what I needed! You made me realize that my tendency to pair a long first name with a short middle (and vice versa) was limiting my possibilities. I also really liked your advice about whether the name felt like it belonged to “My Baby”. As much as I loved the name Giana Rafaela in theory, it wasn’t My Baby’s name…but Adriana Rafaela is, and it’s perfect! Our happy, healthy, beautiful little girl was born at 1:09 pm on October 14, 2009, and she had a name by 1:15. Thanks again for all of your help!

Gwen writes:

I’m due in 2 weeks with my 2nd child, a baby boy (But he’s likely to come early as his sister did.) I have an 18 mo daughter, Kate Harlow. We thought we had a name nailed down for most of the pregnancy and JUST noticed that, Houston, we have a problem! Our top name was Leopold, with him going exclusively by Leo. I can’t believe we just noticed the Kate & Leopold connection. Is it too much, or do you think it could work, especially since I doubt he’ll ever go by Leopold? We were thinking Leopold Gray, since we love Gray but feel it’s a little too close to Kate – especially when you’re yelling it across the house. Our second choice is Graham, but hubby isn’t as enthusiastic about that, and we still haven’t nailed down the spelling – Graham or Graeme?

We were also looking at Jude (Feel it’s becoming too common), Fallon (Is it too far out there?), Callum (Both of us used to LOVE but our enthusiasm is waning), Arlo (I love, hubby’s not too sure), Devin, Elliot, and Max (All 3 of which – too common?). Our last name is M0rgan.

Help!

I am going to focus on your original question, because in my opinion it eliminates the need for the other questions. I don’t think the Kate & Leopold thing is a problem. When you mentioned it, I felt a faint twinge of possible familiarity but couldn’t place it. I said to Paul, “Do you know of a Kate and Leopold connection?” and he said he didn’t. So then I looked it up and found the movie from 2001. Well. Hm. Anyone who had seen the movie could very well make the connection, it’s true. Hm hm hm.

Well, as someone who didn’t see the movie, of course I think it’s not a big deal. I say use the names you love, and if anyone says, “Oh, like the movie?” you can blink at them blankly and say, “…No.”

But we definitely need more opinions here. Maybe everyone but me saw the movie, or maybe not everyone saw it but those who DID see it retain a very strong impression of the two names. So let’s have a poll over to the right. [Poll closed; see results below.]

Then let’s have a second poll [poll closed; see results below] to see what people think you should name him if you decide against Leopold. I suggest using Leo. It’s a perfectly good stand-alone name and eliminates the Leopold problem, and you were planning to call him exclusively Leo anyway. If you don’t want to use Leo on its own, my vote is for Arlo, a name I think is dramatically underused, or for Elliot, a name I’d use in a heartbeat if Paul and I weren’t both so stubborn about our preferred spellings (he prefers Eliot; neither of us will budge).

Poll results, Kate & Leopold being a problem (262 votes total):
Yes, dealbreaker: 41 votes, roughly 16%
Yes but not a dealbreaker: 61 votes, roughly 23%
Heard of it but no: 134 votes, roughly 51%
Never heard of it, so no: 26 votes, roughly 10%

Poll results, what to use if not Leopold (208 votes total):
Leo: 75 votes, roughly 36%
Graham: 32 votes, roughly 15%
Graeme: 5 votes, roughly 2%
Jude: 19 votes, roughly 9%
Fallon: 4 votes, roughly 2%
Callum: 11 votes, roughly 5%
Arlo: 14 votes, rougly 7%
Devan: 3 votes, roughly 1%
Elliot: 30 votes, rough 14%
Max: 15 votes, roughly 7%

Name update 10-02-2009! Gwen writes:
Thanks for all of you (and your readers’) help! I went into labor – no joke – while I was watching “Kate & Leopold”. Our 6 lb, 2 oz Leopold Gray was born Sep. 29 and is doing fantastic!

Katherine writes:

hi there. my husband and i are expecting our fourth baby on october 2nd. we have two girls and a boy and decided for the first time to not find out the sex of this baby. we have a boy name picked out already, but are having a hard time with a girl name. my husband is convinced this baby is a boy, so we don’t even really talk about girl names anymore, but i think it would be wise to have one just in case he’s wrong : ) our children’s names so far are kaitlyn margaret (margaret after my husband’s grandmother), sydney nicole, and jackson david (david after my husband). if this next baby is a boy, his name will be william kerry (kerry after my dad) and we will call him liam. somehow, we’ve managed to have all two-syllable names, so i’d like to stick with that for this last baby, even if it’s just the nickname.
our two top names at the moment are – sophia, and we would call her sophie (my husband’s pick) and nora (my pick) my mother’s middle name is jean, and so is my mother-in-law’s, so i like the idea of doing nora jean. i don’t think my husband is completely sold on jean, though, so i really don’t know where we are on this…
other names we had on our list are:
olivia
penelope (call her penny) – started as kind of a joke, but it’s still on the list
whitney (maybe not, with sydney?)
abigail
ansley
neriah (i LOVE the meaning of this (lamp/light of the Lord) but don’t think i’m bold enough to use it)
i wish there were more biblical girl names that i liked – i considered esther, but i don’t like it with our last name, parker.
ok, so there you have it. i’m sorry this is so long! any help you have would be great.
thanks so much!

I love Nora Jean, too, and I was thinking it seemed like such a natural fit, and then I realized why it sounded familiar: Norma Jean was Marilyn Monroe’s real name. Well, but that’s not a very strong association—I only know it because of the Elton John song “Candle in the Wind” (“Goodbye, Norma Jean / Though I never knew you at all…”), and that song is, what, 35 years old?

I can add a few more biblical girl names to consider:

Jordan
Junia (2-syllable nickname Junie)
Lydia (2-syllable nickname Liddy)

I think Jordan is particularly nice with Kaitlyn and Sydney. You could still use Kerry as a middle name: Jordan Kerry Parker. Or you could put Neriah there, since you love it but feel a little nervous about using it: the middle name slot is excellent for slightly-too-nervous names. Jordan Neriah Parker. Or Jordan Whitney Parker would be nice, if you love Whitney but think it’s too close to Sydney for the first-name slot.

Or perhaps Lydia, since then all your girls would have a Y and everyone would have different initials. Lydia Jean is nice. Or Lydia Kerry.

I guess my own first choice would be Lydia Jean, but I’m unduly influenced by liking to give everyone a different first initial (it’s so handy in my household for labeling things). If it weren’t for the initials thing, I think my first choice would be Jordan Neriah.

Name update 10-05-2009! Katherine writes:

hey there! thanks so much for all of your help… we had decided about an hour before the baby was born that if it was a girl, she would be named nora jean. however, our little boy, william kerry parker, was born on october 1st and we couldn’t be happier. : )
thanks again!

Kim writes:

My husband and I are trying to figure out a name for our baby girl, due 10.5.2009. Her big brother’s name is Maxwell, but he is always called Max.

Names I like and thoughts on them:

Lily – I love this one, but my husband doesn’t. Also it’s popular, we know people who have just used it or want to. But, I like the idea.
Cailin – This is one both my husband and I could be happy with, but I worry about it being too trendy and the same as all the other Jaylyns, Braylyns, etc.
Vivian – Another one both my husband and I like, and was his grandmother’s name so has special meaning. It is one of the only ‘antique’ names he likes. My only problem with it, really, is that I don’t care so much for ‘Viv’ and am not sure I can get over that. ‘Vivi’ is kind of cute though.
Ivy – Husband absolutely hates, but I really like.
Hazel – Ditto to Ivy.
Eva – I like, but maybe too close to ‘Ava’, of which we know a lot.
Brooke – I like. Kind of 80s.
Kate – I like. I’m not wild about ‘Katherine’. I like that it’s a classic name, but I feel like I want something more.
Kyla – Husband likes. I hate.
Josephine – I love this one, but don’t really care for any of the nicknames – Josie, etc. Our last name is long and I think it’s too much of a mouthful to use as a first name, but this was my grandmother’s name and I would really love to use it as a middle if it works out.

Newer ones we have thought of but haven’t discussed much are Grace and Nora.

I think my favorites are probably Lily, Ivy and Hazel, but our top two (because we could actually agree on them) are probably Vivian and Cailin right now (which Josephine for the middle), with Kate at a distant third. I would love any thoughts on any of these from the list and any new suggestions that are similar to my taste.

Thank you!!

Taking out the names that one or the other of you dislikes, we are left with these:

Cailin
Vivian
Eva
Brooke
Kate
Josephine
Grace
Nora

My first suggestion is one I’m sure you’ve already thought of, which is to name her Katelyn and call her Kate. Katelyn (or Catelin or Caitlyn or Katelin) manages to avoid being clumped in with the Braelyn/Jalen/Kaylin group, and gives you a longer version for the nickname you like. Katelyn Josephine is lovely.

I would be interested in collecting impressions from the readers on the spelling Cailin. My eye went right over it, assuming it was Caitlin—but I don’t know if it would be that way for everyone. Even when I realized it wasn’t Caitlin, it looked to me like Caitlin-missing-the-T. I think I would go with a spelling such as Kaylin or Kaylen or Caylin to make it more clear, but I’m not sure.

I think Vivian Josephine is perhaps the best name of all (especially with the family connection), but am reluctant to lean on it too hard in case you decide against the nicknames. Vivi is super-cute.

Other combinations I like a lot: Nora Josephine, Eva Josephine.

I think you’ve got such a good list to work with here, I hate to muddy things up by adding suggestions. Let’s have a poll over to the right [poll closed; see results below]—and we can discuss the spelling of Cailin in the comments section.

Poll results (243 votes total):
Cailin: 8 votes, roughly 3%
Vivian: 110 votes, roughly 45%
Eva: 24 votes, roughly 10%
Brooke: 6 votes, roughly 2%
Kate: 11 votes, roughly 5%
Katelyn: 33 votes, roughly 14%
Grace: 12 votes, roughly 5%
Nora: 39 votes, roughly 16%

Name update 10-06-2009! Kim writes:

Just wanted to update you – Vivian Josephine was born on 9.30. We
were pretty sure about it by the time the post came up, but I was
second-guessing myself, so I was so glad the majority liked that one –
it made me even more positive we made the right choice. Our little
Vivi is doing great. Thanks everyone for all the help!