Kelsie writes:

A friend of mine forwarded me your blog when I told her how much trouble we are having with a girl’s name for our little one due in March. My husband and I have pretty similar styles so it hasn’t been that hard to get a meeting of the minds, the only problem is we haven’t found any names that “wow” us. We have two that we are both okay with, but I really feel like my daughter’s name should be something that I just love. This is both of our first child, so we have no sibling names that we have to fit with.

I like traditional names but nothing too old-fashioned like Ruth, Pearl, or Jean. I think trendy names are okay as long as they aren’t too far out there. I don’t want an extremely common name like Jennifer or Stephanie, but if I fell in love with a common name I would probably go with it anyways. We have already decided on the middle name (which we want to keep as a middle name). Elizabeth has been a family name on my side for centuries. So we need ___ Elizabeth. Our last name is pretty common, it starts with an M and ends with a y, two syllables.

I like Mya and Mia, but neither one work with our last name. I loved the name Madeline, but I cannot deal with the nickname Maddy which my family is sure to use. So far we are stuck on Katelyn and Payton. Like I said, we both like the names but neither one of us love them. I keep thinking that it will come to me when I least expect it, but so far I’ve got nothing. I’m starting to worry that we will end up with a name that is “just ok.” I have searched the baby name books but they are not very helpful and too overwhelming. Can you help us??

I remember this stage of baby naming so well! Paul and I would have a short list and I’d be like, “Any of these would be FINE and I’d be happy ENOUGH, but….*SIGH*.” With one of my children, we went with FINE and I ended up loving the name. With one child, we went with a name we loved and I ended up having doubts about it. With one child, a name that was “fine” early in the pregnancy was “LOVE” by the end. And with two children, we went with LOVE names. The happy news, I think, is that NOW I’m happy with ALL the names.

Have you tried The Baby Name Wizard? (I’m linking to what appears to be the first edition because Amazon says they’re selling the first/second editions as the same book; I wanted to be sure of getting a second edition so I bought my copy at a Barnes & Noble store.) One of the things I like about the book is that you can look up the names you like and get suggestions for other names you might like. For example, you like Katelyn/Kaitlyn, and The Baby Name Wizard suggests Makayla, Hailey, Ashlyn, Kaylee, and Jordyn. For Peyton/Payton, it suggests Skylar, Addison, Parker, Carson, and Kendall. For Mya/Maya: Zoe, Ava, Jada, Chloe, Nadia. For Mia: Zoe, Jada, Ava, Sofia, Lily. For Madeline: Isabelle, Angelina, Caroline, Lily, Sophia.

Then if any of those suggestions seem ALMOST but NOT QUITE, you can go look up THOSE names and find suggestions. So let’s say you think, “Addison! YES…well, except for the nickname Addy.” Then you can go look up Addison and find the suggestions Reagan, Emerson, Parker, Aubrey, and Mckenna.

PLUS, each name is put in categories, and then you can go look up those entire categories and see if anything appeals. Kaitlyn is “Bell Tones” and “The -ens.” Payton is “Last Names First” and “Androgynous” and “The -ens.” Mia and Maya are both “Short and Sweet” and “Nickname-Proof,” and Mia is also “Nordic.” Madeline is “Antique Charm” and “Literary and Artistic.” If you look up “Nordic” you’ll find 57 girl names including Annika, Britt, Elsa, Karina, Linnea, Malin, Maren, Minna, Thora. If you look up “Bell Tones” you’ll find 60 girl names including Braelyn, Brinley, Cadence, Jaelyn, Kiley, Laney, Paisley, Tayla. If you look up “The -ens” you’ll find 68 girl names including Adelyn, Emlyn, Janson, Jillian, Keelin, Larkin, Linden, Tamsin, and Teagan. If you look up “Antique Charm” you’ll find 72 girl names including Annalise, Cecily, Genevieve, Georgia, Lucy, Molly, Nora, and Sadie.

I found that as I browsed the categories I pretty quickly found that I liked practically NO names in some of them and practically ALL the names in others. Finding your own naming style categories can help eliminate some of the overwhelmingness of the choices, and can also help make sure you use a name that will go well with names you may want to use for future children.

Name update 04-01-2010! Kelsie writes:

Well, like did turn into love for us with this name. Katelyn Elizabeth was born March 24, 2010, 7lbs2oz and 19 inches long. We had a backup list of names that we took to the delivery room with us, but didn’t need it. When we laid our eyes on her, we felt like she was a Katelyn. Thank you for your help and for all the suggestions!

Robyn writes:

I think we have picked our name, but wanted to write you and see what you (and your readers) think, or could possible give any other ideas for us! J

Our Son is Cameron Ashton Roland, will be 4 in February. Ashton was because we liked the name, but not enough to use it as his first name. Roland is after my dad.

We are now expecting our daughter in March and trying to decide on a name that we both like.

favorites are:
Grace (Gracie)
Scarlett
Charlotte
Kiera

other ideas were:
Olivia
Caitlin (originally didn’t like 2 C names, now we know a little girl with this name)
Madeline
Sidney

Middle name will be Joanna (or Joanne) after my mom – she wants it to be Joanna. And the question lies with, do we have 2 middle names with her as well???

We really like Old traditional names that will be a strong name when they grow up. Also don’t want there to be 5 of them in the same class! Didn’t think like that with Cameron, just liked the strong sounded aspect of it…

What we can’t figure out is what nicknames she might be called (we aren’t ones to shorten their name) or what possible bad names could come from it once teasing starts in school.

Really looking forward to your ideas! J

About two middle names: I think it depends in part on your family plans—but that it can still go either way. If you’re stopping at two children, I think it would be nice for them to both have two middle names. If you’re planning on more children (or even if you’re not), then I think you could say the two middle name thing was a firstborn thing, and not do it for the others. Well, OR you could keep going with two middle names. You have a nice pattern set up: one name you liked but not enough to use as a first name, and one family name. If you have enough of both kinds of names to go around, it might be fun to keep going with that. For example, this baby girl could be ____ Caitlin Joanna Price.

The four finalist names all look good to me, nickname/teasing-wise. A Charlotte could be nicknamed Char or Lottie; Charlotte was the name of the spider in Charlotte’s Web, so it’s possible there could be some teasing there. A Scarlett could be nicknamed Lettie; I suppose someone mean might bring up Scar or Scarlet Letter, although surely they won’t think of the Letter thing until high school English. Grace could get references to how her actual gracefulness fails to meet the expectations set by her name. A Kiera could be nicknamed Kiki.

If you want old, traditional, and strong, Charlotte and Grace are the best two on your list. If you’re trying to avoid common names, Grace was #21 in 2008 and Charlotte was #87; however, Grace seems to have leveled off and even seems to be slightly decreasing in commonness, whereas Charlotte is still steadily rising. (Source: Social Security Administration.)

If you don’t want two C names, Grace looks to me like the best bet, and Grace Joanna Price is a beautiful name. If you don’t mind having two C names, Charlotte Joanna Price is also wonderful. Or if you want to use two middle names, maybe Grace Caitlin Joanna Price or Charlotte Sidney Joanna Price. Looking at the options, I think I prefer the names with just one middle name.

Everyone else, please weigh in on your favorite options—and can you think of any more nicknames or potential teasings?

Name update 04-22-2010! Robyn writes:

Thanks again for your (and your readers!) help!

Erica Lee Joanna was born on March 22 – and did, in fact, remain nameless for about 5 days.. Once I decided on the name, I couldn’t decide on the spelling! LOL

Annie writes:

The babe is expected to arrive March 4. Since we didn’t find out if we’re having a boy or a girl, our list of potential names is pretty long. Our last name, while spelled differently, is pronounced Niles. We both tend to like somewhat uncommon names, but nothing too crazy.

Currently, our top boy contender is Oliver James (which I just saw another mom-to-be mention on the site TODAY). My husband’s father’s name is James and his own middle name is James and I just like it. Oliver is my husband’s best friend’s middle name. And I’ve always loved it. Some of the other boy names we like but have ruled out (for the most part): Mason, Elliot, Finn, Leif, Isaiah, Asher. Mostly we’re pretty solid on Oliver James, but still open to discussion.

Now, the girls names are a bit more up in the air. I’d like to use the middle name Lee–it’s my mother’s middle name and we are super close. But most of the names I choose with Lee as the middle name end up making the name sound like an adjective. For example, my favorite girls name at the moment is Hazel. But Hazel Lee sounds like “Hazily,” and I am not sure what that even means. Some other names we love: Amelia (Amelia Lee?), Mabel (Mabel Lee sounds like Maybeline), Sloane, Violet (we’ve canceled this one for it’s growing popularity, but I still love it), Wren, Pearl, Evangeline, Olive, and Harlow. My newest favorite name is Maizey. Some middle names I like in general are: Rose, Grace, Eden. His mother and sister’s middle names are Marie, which I like, but I’m not very close to them so that feels weird to me.

Some names my husband likes that I’ve canceled for various reasons: Zoe, Piper, Lily, and Matilda.

I can’t wait to hear your suggestions!

I am totally on board with Oliver James for a boy. It’s a great name and would be on my own list too.

When I look at your girl name list, I’m looking for names that go well with Oliver: a name you’ve settled on is a good measure of your naming style, but also if you have a girl this time you might later have a boy and want to name him Oliver. The name Olive brings you to a decision: which do you like better, Oliver or Olive?

I see what you mean about the Lee issue, but I think it’s okay: people are so accustomed to Lee as a middle name, there’s a natural pause. The only name it would rule out for me is Mabel, because I agree with you about Maybelline. Another issue with the middle name Lee is that it gives you a triple L sound: almost all your girl name possibilities have an L in them, and your surname has an L, too. Does your mom’s first name or maiden name have any middle-name-slot potential?

I looked up the name Hazel in The Baby Name Wizard, and I see that four of the five sister names are already on your list: Pearl, Violet, Mazie, Olive. The fifth is one you may want to consider: Millicent. I completely agree with The Baby Name Wizard’s assessment: “It’s hard to picture a Millicent in little girl’s pigtails instead of white hair…but if you manage, it’s a surprisingly adorable image.” YES. I can picture it! A sweet little Milly!

More possibilities:

Alice
Audra
Beatrix
Clementine
Clover
Elsa
Frances
Georgia
Harriet
Henrietta
Marley
Romy
Rosemary
Ruby
Ruth
Sadie
Stella
Sylvie
Willa
Winifred

Name update 04-14-2010! Annie writes:

I’ve been meaning to write you an update for Baby Nihls (Baby Niles on your site)–Amelia Lee was born on March 3 at home! She’s actually 6 weeks today and doing great!! (And we call her Millie.)

Thanks again for your help with the naming…I am definitely keeping Oliver James in mind for the next go-round (in the way future).

Siobhan writes:

I’m pregnant with baby number three, a boy. I’m due to be induced February 25th. I’m so upset about the whole naming thing that I’ve actually broken down in tears a couple times which is really unlike me. I’m the third born in my family and I have an unusual Gaelic name. Because of this I would like our third born to have a Gaelic name as well. When I was first pregnant I was set on the Kieran for a boy. When we found out that we were having a boy I discovered that my husband wasn’t too fond of it. He didn’t hate it exactly but he “pretends” that he can’t say it. He always pronounces it like “Karen” and he’s concerned that it sounds too much like a girl’s name. After a lot of discussion we had finally settled on the name Connor. It felt like a nice compromise because it was an Irish name but wasn’t too “weird” for my husband. I really liked it but still had a few reservations about how popular it might be. I tend to prefer names that are outside the top 100. Then on Christmas we discovered that my husband’s sister-in-law’s brother had recently had a baby boy and named him Connor. It didn’t bother me much cause these aren’t people that we see more than once a year, if that. The only real issue would be my neices and newphew having two cousins named Connor. But for some reason it has really soured my husband on the name so I feel like we’re back to square one.

The only thing we know for sure is the middle name has to be Leo or Clayton after my late grandfather. Both my other kids have family names from my dad’s side and my husband’s side so we want this baby to have a name from my mother. Naming the baby after her father is very important to me.
My two children are Seth (4) and Rose (2)

The other names I love are:

Kian
Callum
Patrick -worried that this one may be too common though

I don’t want anything popular so I’m against: Aiden, Liam, Collin, Brayden, etc.

Our last name is two syllables and starts with a “D” and ends with an “N” so while I love the names Declan and Desmond something like that just wouldn’t work cause it’s to cutesy.

I would so love any help or suggestions you could give. My first two children were so easy and their names are just perfect. I want to feel that way with this baby but right now it seems impossible.

Oh dear! Baby naming can be so fun, but it can also be so stressful! I THINK of it as one of my favorite parts of pregnancy, but then when I’m actually trying to CHOOSE I find I want it to be OVER.

It makes it harder when the name needs to satisfy a number of requirements: in this case, it needs to be Gaelic, it shouldn’t be common, it needs to work with Leo or Clayton, it needs to work with Seth and Rose, it needs to work with your D______n surname.

I THINK I might have the perfect name for you: Finn. It’s Gaelic; it was #368 in 2008 (source: Social Security Administration); it works fine with either Leo or Clayton (I prefer it with Leo); it’s great with Seth and Rose (one syllable, four letters); and I believe it works with your surname.

I find myself very tempted to find names that are the same one-syllable four-letter as Seth and Rose:

Cael
Reid
Rhys
Sean
Shea

Though if you’re considering more children, you may not want to paint yourself into a corner. And besides, Sean and Shea might be too close to Seth, and Reid and Rhys might be too close to Rose. Cael is good but doesn’t go very well with either Leo or Clayton.

Other possibilities, all picked from the Celtic section of The Baby Name Wizard:

Alistair
Angus
Broderick
Brogan
Bryce
Camden
Carrick
Casey
Cormac
Eamon
Ewan
Fergus
Finian
Finnegan
Garrett
Griffin
Ian
Keane
Keegan
Lachlan
Lorcan
Lyle
Malcolm
Niall
Rogan
Sullivan
Tiernan

I like Tiernan because it’s similar to Kieran but perhaps your husband would find himself able to pronounce it with that extra N in there. Keegan, too, might please both of you.

Cormac and Lachlan and Lorcan remind me of Declan, but without the D. D. problem.

Angus and Fergus both give you the cute nickname Gus.

Carrick is good because it’s so unusual and yet it’s almost Eric, which keeps it familiar. Same with Brogan and Rogan, which are similar to the more familiar Logan.

Niall and Lyle seem similar in style to Seth. Ian and Ewan, too.

Name update 03-28-2010! Siobhan writes:

Hello,
I just wanted to give you the update that our baby boy Callum Leo was born on March 1st. 8 lbs, 14 oz and 20.5 inches. So many of your suggestions were great and we talked it over quite a bit before deciding. The last couple weeks I just fell in love with Callum and when he was born with his auburn hair and blue eyes it just fit him perfectly. Most people have taken to calling him Cal for short which is just adorable. Thanks again for your help, it was really appreciated!