Author Archives: Swistle

Baby Girl Ezra, Sister to Emma

Autumn writes:

My due date is September 13th (although given my history of pre-term labor, I probably won’t make it past the middle of August). We just found out today that we’re having a girl. We have one daughter already who is four. Her name is Emma Lorelai. We thought we were having a boy this time and had picked the name Ezra Thomas. We were tentatively considering Eva for a girl but hadn’t chosen a middle name. Here’s the problem: my husband and I both fell in love with Ezra and (after some research on the internet which seems to indicate that it’s rising in popularity as a girls name) he still wants to use it. I do really like it and I think we might go with it but we can’t pick a middle name. We’re stumped. I prefer one or three syllable names since I think it flows better than a 2-2-2 syllable name. Also, maybe something really feminine to offset any implied masculinity from Ezra. I want to know if you think being named Ezra would ruin a girl’s life and I would love to hear ANY suggestions you have for a middle name. My husband likes really unique names and I tend toward more classic names but we’ll take any suggestions you have. Thank you SO much!

Generally I try to answer the question I’m asked. That is, if I’m asked to choose a sibling name for a name I hate, I choose a list of sibling names that would go with the name I hate. And I have fun doing it, too.

This is because IN GENERAL, I am strongly in favor of people using the names they like, even if the names are not ones I would choose. And this is why I can write a baby name column: if you like a name I don’t like, even a name I DISlike, I STILL SUPPORT AND FAVOR AND ENJOY THAT CHOICE. Otherwise, what would the column be? Just a list of the names on my own list, over and over. Pah! Useless!

I am making an exception. In this case I’m not answering the question I’m being asked, which is to find a girl’s middle name for the name Ezra. Instead I’m going to give you this advice: Don’t use the name Ezra for your daughter. The reason you’re so stumped on a middle name is that Ezra is the name you chose for a boy, and you are having a girl. The masculinity of the name Ezra is not “implied” any more than the masculinity of the name Henry or John is “implied”: it is instead INDICATED.

If you have two daughters, one named Emma (a completely feminine, completely common name) and the other named Ezra (a completely masculine name, and much less common even for boys, LET ALONE for girls), you are custom-ordering yourself a huge dose of trouble. Or, more accurately, you are ordering that dose of trouble for your daughters. Don’t. No, really: don’t. Choosing a name is a responsibility and a privilege and an honor, and you are about to sacrifice that for “uniqueness.” It isn’t a worthy trade.

If you had named your first daughter Flynn, or Garnet, or Mason, or some other name that is boyish and extremely unusual for girls, I could answer your question as you’ve asked it, and I would help you find middle names for a girl named Ezra. But you chose the NUMBER TWO MOST COMMON GIRL NAME IN THE UNITED STATES for your first daughter, a name that is never ever never ever never EVER used for boys, and so in an unprecedented move for this blog, I will give you no support for using a boy’s name for your second daughter, especially because it will communicate to your daughter exactly what you communicated to me, which is “We thought we were having a boy.”

If you might have more children, hold the name Ezra in reserve for a possible future boy. If you’re definitely done after two, I suggest the name Esme (EHZ-may). Or Eliza. Both names are significantly less common than the name Emma, but they work fine with it and they may have some of the sound of Ezra you’re looking for. Or Esme could also be Esmie (EHZ-mee) or Ismay (IHZ-may), for something more intuitive to pronounce. Another possibility is the name Isabelle with the nickname Izzy: Emma and Izzy.

Name update! Autumn writes:

I so strongly associated her with “Ezra” that I couldn’t let it go. For fear of destroying her life and making her hate me forever, I compromised with myself and named her Lilith (Lily) Ezra. She’s beautiful, always smiling, looks exactly like her big sister and is spunky enough to handle any name I could have given her.

Baby Boy Dale

Kathryn writes:

I’m due June 20 with a boy and would love some input from you and your very wise readers!

We have a 3-year-old girl named Dorothy Elizabeth (called Dorry), who we named after our grandmothers, and we love the name. Now, with our boy, we’d sort of like to keep the family-meaning theme going, but it isn’t absolutely necessary, since his middle name will be Robert, which honors both our dads.

Ever since we got engaged, we have liked the name Vance, my father’s middle name. But when we got pregnant, we found that it had sort of lost some of its allure over time, maybe because we’d just been thinking about it for so long. Also, I love nicknameable names, and Vance doesn’t offer much besides Van.

We also like the name Desmond. Is that crazy? I’m worried it might be a little crazy. Yes, we did fall in like with the name because of the show Lost, but we wouldn’t be naming him specifically after the character or anything. Although we are big fans of the show, which premiered one week before we got married, so it would have some nice meaning for us. But maybe…crazy? Also, I read somewhere that it’s considered an African-American name, and we are not African-American.

Other names we like…Barnaby, Bruce, Henry, and Theodore (until we realized it was actually pretty much “Dorothy” backwards, and that would be weird, wouldn’t it?).

Our last name sounds like “Dale.”

Thank you so much!!

Oh, I love the name Barnaby! That was on my list too!

I admit it kind of appeals to me that Theodore and Dorothy are similar like that! Wouldn’t those be fun twin names? And Dorry and Theo make such cute nicknames. But I see what you mean.

I think Desmond is perfect. Dorothy and Desmond, Dorry and Desi, OMG too wonderful. Desmond Tutu has made the name a popular African-American name, but not in a way that eliminates the name for non-African-American babies. And being on Lost has made the name familiar again.

Baby Girl or Boy Axt

[I’m out of town for a few days but don’t want to fall EVEN FARTHER behind, so I’m leaving some name questions on auto-post!]

Mechi writes:

I’m writing on behalf of my next door neighbor, who is pregnant and still without a name. We started talking about names today (because I love them and jump at any chance to talk about them). They don’t really have any ideas about names outside of the top 10 type of names that immediately come to mind, but they’re looking to find some less common names, so I thought you could help.

They currently have a one year old boy named Darrin Dennis (Dennis after family), and they don’t know the sex of the new baby, so both gender names would be good.

In our discussion today, her husband threw out names like Jennifer and Nicole – top ten from when he was growing up, and the only names it seemed he could come up with. They both liked names with the feel of Sophie or Emma, but she wants names like that but that are not so popular. She also really liked the names Jamie and Breanna. We didn’t discuss boys names, but I think they have generally the same feel for only being able to think of popular names but wanting something less known.

I really want to give them some less popular but equally great options because I am the biggest supporter of non ‘trendeigh’ names.

Oh, and last things… since Darrin was named after the dad’s family, she says she would like to try to name the next baby, boy or girl, after her mother. Her mother’s name is Marcela Susana, so she’s not sure how she could make such a Spanish name work with the sorts of names she likes. But she’s open to variations of the name – it doesn’t need to be exactly the name. And lastly, they want the name to be at least two syllables to sound better with their last name: Axt.

Thank you so much!

Baby Boy M.

[I’m out of town for a few days but don’t want to fall EVEN FARTHER behind, so I’m leaving some name questions on auto-post!]

J.M. writes:

Baby is due on July 4th! We’ve decided on our girl name, but struggling to agree on a boy name. We have a two syllable last name that starts with an M.

My favorite is Wesley Michael, my husband prefers to do Michael Wesley:)

He also likes, Cason.

My other favorites are Griffin, Graham, Joseph (Joe), Bennett or Benjamin (Ben), Samuel (Sam)…

We’re very open to suggestions. We just haven’t found THE ONE! Appreciate your help.

Baby Boy Herr

[I’m out of town for a few days but don’t want to fall EVEN FARTHER behind, so I’m leaving some name questions on auto-post!]

Nikki writes:

Ok

So my name is Nikki and my Husbands name is Barry ( he goes by BJ) Herr. We are pregnant with our 3rd kiddo. We are due on June 29th, 2010.
We have an 8 yr old girl named Rylee, and a 4 yr old boy named Brock. We are having another boy.
We cannot agree upon a name, and you probably should know, that while convincing my husband that we needed to have baby #3, I gave up naming rights, so, yup, you got it, he gets final say! How dumb was I when I agreed to this!

His choice selections are as follows:
1.Cody
2.Brandon
3. Ryan
4. Barry the third (after himself and dad)

My choices are
1.Brody
2. Cooper
3. Cole

We need help, what is your opinion!!!!!!

Oh, our last name is pronounced like “Hair”.

Any help and opinions is welcome!

Baby Boy or Girl Benson

[I’m out of town for a few days but don’t want to fall EVEN FARTHER behind, so I’m leaving some name questions on auto-post!]

Emmyline writes:

My husband and I (Nick and Emmyline Benson) are expecting our third child end of June (due date: 28th of June), the sex of the baby will be a susprise.
Our sons are Alexander Kurt Benson (5) and Mathias Jack Benson (3). We had no trouble deciding on their names but with baby number 3 we’re having some difficulties on the naming side of things!

I (Emmyline) am a Dutch-speaking Belgian and speak Dutch with our children, my husband is American and speaks English with them. Alexander and Mathias are names that are pronouncable in both languages, also for our new baby we are looking for a name that will work in Dutch as well as in English.

My husband and I have some names in mind but we can’t seem to settle on a name that we both love, these are the names that we’ve been considering:

For a boy:
– Maximilian: My favorite, my husband thinks Maximilian is too long, he would prefer Maxwell but this is a name that is never used in Dutch and I generally don’t like it very much.
– Noah: A name we both like a lot but I love ‘Norah’ for a girl and if this baby is a boy I would like to be able to use ‘Norah’ on a possible future daughter.
– Vincent: My husband’s favorite. I don’t dislike the name and it works in Dutch but I knew a lot of Vincents my age growing up and it’s hard for me to picture a little boy named Vincent.
– Sebastian: A name we both like but I feel like it doesn’t flow well with Benson…
– Casper: Also a name we both like but does it sound too much like Alexander?

Possible middle names for a boy: Andreas (after both of my grandfathers who were called Andre), Robert (Nick’s grandfather), Nicolas and Nathan (my brother)

For a girl:
– Norah: I love this name but Nick is not too sure about it, he feels it’s too old-fashioned.
– Nell: We both like this name but think it is too short compared to Alexander and Mathias.
– Flo: We both like the nickname ‘Flo’ but can’t find a good formal name that we both love.

Possible middle names for a girl: Rachel (my grandmother and own middle name), Lillian (Nick’s mother), Margaret (my mother’s middle name) and Sophie (Nick’s sister)

Any suggestions are very welcome. We prefer classic names that are not too popular.

Thank you so much for taking the time to help us name our baby.

Baby Girl Harris

[I’m out of town for a few days but don’t want to fall EVEN FARTHER behind, so I’m leaving some name questions on auto-post!]

Christine writes:

Hello there! We would be ever so grateful if you could please help us in choosing our baby name! We’re having tremendous difficulty settling on a name for our little girl, due in June. We just can’t seem to decide on a name that we love. We’ve been thinking about it for so long, but we seem to be getting nowhere. Here is the scoop on us:

My name is Christine and my husband’s name is Jim. Our last name is Harris. My husband has two children from a previous marriage, Elizabeth (Libby) (age 15) and Zachary (Zach) (age 17). We also have a puppy named Ella (and I have a sister named Ellen), so we want to make sure that we don’t use anything too similar to either of those names!

First, I should let you know that we have decided on the baby’s middle name. It will be Judith, after my husband’s mother, who passed away a few years ago. I’m finding it difficult to find a first name that flows particularly well with that, but I’m not too concerned on that front. It would mean a lot to my husband to have Judith (or Judy) as the baby’s middle name, since this is the first grandchild born since his mother’s death.

As for Baby Girl Harris’ first name, my husband’s favorite option so far is Hannah, which I also like, but I am somewhat reluctant to choose this since we live in Montana (i.e., Hannah Montana). Also, I’m not too sure whether the alliterative effect of “Hannah Harris” is desirable or not. My husband really likes this. I’m on the fence about it as I’ve heard some people say that this type of alliteration has a cartoonish effect.

Personally, my favorite name is Abigail (nickname Abby). My husband likes this, but both he and my stepdaughter are concerned that it is too similar to Libby. I don’t think it is, but I certainly don’t want to name the baby Abby if it will in any way detract or cause confusion with Libby’s name. Likewise, both Jim & I like the name Olivia, but the nickname (Livvie) also seems terribly close to Libby.

Other names we’ve considered include:

Emma or Emily (although we are concerned that these names are just too popular right now);
Grace;
Natalie;
Paige (I like this, but my husband isn’t crazy about it);
Olive (my husband likes this, but it’s not my favorite);
Virginia (nickname Ginny);
Charlotte (nickname Charlie – with the caveat that my mother has already indicated that she doesn’t particularly care for this);
Scarlett (I am huge Gone With the Wind fan, but I am concerned that Scarlett Harris is just a little too close to Scarlett O’Hara); or
Sabrina.

What do you think of any of these? Alternatively, do you have any other ideas for us? Any comments or suggestions you have would be most appreciated! We are in quite a muddle right now.

Baby Boy Goode

[I’m out of town for a few days but don’t want to fall EVEN FARTHER behind, so I’m leaving some name questions on auto-post!]

Beth writes:

We are expecting baby boy number three in June. Names have become a daily struggle as we cannot settle on anything that we both just “feel” is right.
Our oldest son is Luke Benjamin Goode, next came Mark Weldon Goode and soon we’ll have ____?____ Emanuel Goode. ( ‘e’ is silent on Goode) All three middle names are family names. I know that Luke and Mark started a gospel trend but that wasn’t intentional. We do feel maybe we should continue with the whole biblical theme but it’s absolutely not a necessity. One other thing to consider, is my husband’s name, Ashley. He hated it growing up because it is almost exclusively a female name these days. He’s constantly questioned about it. We’d both like something fairly traditional that brings a strong, healthy, upstanding male to mind.
Our current possibilities include Paul Emanuel. My husband has always liked this name, feels it brings those above characteristics to mind and goes well with Luke and Mark. No offense, as I saw it is your husband’s name, but I just don’t love it and can’t say why. We also like John Emanuel (enter the gospel theme again :) but worry that maybe John is just a little too vanilla? I love Jacob Emanuel but we both really hesistate with that one because Jacob has been the number one boys name according to Social Security since 1995! Finally, I am drawn to the name Lane Emanuel. No reason I just like how sounds. That one however, borders on the could be feminine line which worries my husband because again he deals with that confusion daily.
I hope that gives you enough background. We are getting worried as June quickly approaches with no end to this debate in sight. Would you mind weighing in with thoughts and/or suggestions? Thanks so much!

Baby Boy Mallory

[I’m out of town for a few days but don’t want to fall EVEN FARTHER behind, so I’m leaving some name questions on auto-post!]

Emily writes:

We are expecting our third baby, a boy, on June16th. We named our first two kids very quickly because my husband and I each had family members that we wanted to honor. We have Kathryn Faith, who we call “Katy”, 4, and David Richard, 2. We don’t necessarily want to stick to family names this time around, so we have a clean slate. However, I’m struggling to come up with a boy name that I LOVE. And I want to LOVE it. I also wonder if I should stick to traditional names since my first two are traditional? I have a list of names that we like, but nothing sticks out as The One. And for some reason I find myself having a problem with every name on the list, like, “I have a cousin with that name,” or “I knew a kid with that name who was really mean.”

I also like Biblical names, but it doesn’t have to be. And I like names that everyone has heard before, but there aren’t too crazy many being born right now.

Our “traditional” list: (for all of these I like the full version, like “Joshua” instead of “Josh.”)

Joshua
Adam
Timothy
Thomas
Luke (really like, but is it too common lately?)
Benjamin (ditto?)
Joel
Andrew
Jesse
Micah
James
Isaiah

Others that I like but I’m not sure how well they flow:
Theodore (Theo? Ted?)
Owen
Nolan
Toby
Jared

I’m kinda hoping that you’ll have a new suggestion for me that I haven’t thought of, but will be: YES, that’s IT!

For a middle name I’m also open. My husband’s name is Brian Keith, and he wouldn’t mind using part of his name for a middle name. But that’s just one idea.

Our surname sounds like “Mallory.”

Name update 07-08-2010! Emily writes:

Luke Brian Mallory was born on June 23rd, weighing 9 lbs, 11 oz. Thanks so much to your readers for the comments – we had Phillip and Timothy on the short list due to their suggestions, but ultimately decided that Luke was the name we loved, and the post helped me to realize that it wasn’t “too common.” I really appreciated your perspective on the Top 10/100 not being the Kiss of Death. Thanks!

Baby Boy or Girl Hopes

Grandma writes:

My daughter is due May 30 and the sex of baby is unknown. She has a daughter Addison Philips Hopes (Addie), born 2008. If she has a boy it will be Robert William Hopes III. Nicknames are possible , Trey, Trip, Will or Liam, none of which they really like. If it is a girl they are having trouble finding one they both like. A few possible are Taylor, Reese, Payton. She likes Mackenzie, Tori, Emerson, Ansley. They would like to use the middle name Lynn a family name but it sounds very country with some first names. Could you give suggestions for boy nicknames and girls names.

Is “Rob” already taken by her husband? That’s my favorite nickname for Robert. I also like the old nickname Robin, but in my area that cause confusion with the girl’s name. I know a baby Robert who goes by Bert/Bertie, and it’s surprisingly adorable. But I think in this case, if Rob is what the dad uses, I would use William/Will: it’s simplest, and William is a great and currently-well-liked name. They don’t love it, but this is one of the main problems with Sr./Jr./III stuff: generally it’s a name the parents wouldn’t have otherwise chosen, so there’s bound to be a “meh” feeling about the choice. That will likely fade as whatever nickname they choose BECOMES their darling baby boy and doesn’t even seem like a name anymore.

Girl name possibilities:

Avery
Braelyn
Brinley
Cadence
Delaney
Devyn
Ellery
Jaelyn
Jordyn
Keely
Kerrigan
Kierra
Kiley
Maren
Mckenna
Paisley
Shelby
Skyler
Sydney
Teagan

Some of the names on this list wouldn’t work at all with the middle name Lynn: Braelyn, for example. I included them anyway in case your daughter and son-in-law change their mind about the middle name, or in case they want to use it as part of the first name instead (Braelynn, Jaelynn).