Autumn writes:
My due date is September 13th (although given my history of pre-term labor, I probably won’t make it past the middle of August). We just found out today that we’re having a girl. We have one daughter already who is four. Her name is Emma Lorelai. We thought we were having a boy this time and had picked the name Ezra Thomas. We were tentatively considering Eva for a girl but hadn’t chosen a middle name. Here’s the problem: my husband and I both fell in love with Ezra and (after some research on the internet which seems to indicate that it’s rising in popularity as a girls name) he still wants to use it. I do really like it and I think we might go with it but we can’t pick a middle name. We’re stumped. I prefer one or three syllable names since I think it flows better than a 2-2-2 syllable name. Also, maybe something really feminine to offset any implied masculinity from Ezra. I want to know if you think being named Ezra would ruin a girl’s life and I would love to hear ANY suggestions you have for a middle name. My husband likes really unique names and I tend toward more classic names but we’ll take any suggestions you have. Thank you SO much!
Generally I try to answer the question I’m asked. That is, if I’m asked to choose a sibling name for a name I hate, I choose a list of sibling names that would go with the name I hate. And I have fun doing it, too.
This is because IN GENERAL, I am strongly in favor of people using the names they like, even if the names are not ones I would choose. And this is why I can write a baby name column: if you like a name I don’t like, even a name I DISlike, I STILL SUPPORT AND FAVOR AND ENJOY THAT CHOICE. Otherwise, what would the column be? Just a list of the names on my own list, over and over. Pah! Useless!
I am making an exception. In this case I’m not answering the question I’m being asked, which is to find a girl’s middle name for the name Ezra. Instead I’m going to give you this advice: Don’t use the name Ezra for your daughter. The reason you’re so stumped on a middle name is that Ezra is the name you chose for a boy, and you are having a girl. The masculinity of the name Ezra is not “implied” any more than the masculinity of the name Henry or John is “implied”: it is instead INDICATED.
If you have two daughters, one named Emma (a completely feminine, completely common name) and the other named Ezra (a completely masculine name, and much less common even for boys, LET ALONE for girls), you are custom-ordering yourself a huge dose of trouble. Or, more accurately, you are ordering that dose of trouble for your daughters. Don’t. No, really: don’t. Choosing a name is a responsibility and a privilege and an honor, and you are about to sacrifice that for “uniqueness.” It isn’t a worthy trade.
If you had named your first daughter Flynn, or Garnet, or Mason, or some other name that is boyish and extremely unusual for girls, I could answer your question as you’ve asked it, and I would help you find middle names for a girl named Ezra. But you chose the NUMBER TWO MOST COMMON GIRL NAME IN THE UNITED STATES for your first daughter, a name that is never ever never ever never EVER used for boys, and so in an unprecedented move for this blog, I will give you no support for using a boy’s name for your second daughter, especially because it will communicate to your daughter exactly what you communicated to me, which is “We thought we were having a boy.”
If you might have more children, hold the name Ezra in reserve for a possible future boy. If you’re definitely done after two, I suggest the name Esme (EHZ-may). Or Eliza. Both names are significantly less common than the name Emma, but they work fine with it and they may have some of the sound of Ezra you’re looking for. Or Esme could also be Esmie (EHZ-mee) or Ismay (IHZ-may), for something more intuitive to pronounce. Another possibility is the name Isabelle with the nickname Izzy: Emma and Izzy.
Name update! Autumn writes:
I so strongly associated her with “Ezra” that I couldn’t let it go. For fear of destroying her life and making her hate me forever, I compromised with myself and named her Lilith (Lily) Ezra. She’s beautiful, always smiling, looks exactly like her big sister and is spunky enough to handle any name I could have given her.