Katy writes:

My name is Katy (short for Katharine, but I’ve always been “Katy”) & I am nearly 38 weeks pregnant. My husband Brian and I expect to welcome a baby girl to our family pretty much any day now!

Before I go any further, I should note that our last name starts with a D and rhymes with “Flemming.” When we got married, I moved my family name (a german name that sounds like “Sights”) to the “middle” position, my husband legally changed his middle name to my family name and our son has my family name as his middle name also. So this baby girl will have my family name as her middle name. I love that we all share both of our family names. I do find it harder to chose names because I love the idea of finding first & middle names that just “go together!” but the middle/last combo was decided years ago when we got married and changed names!

We have a three year old named Gavin and we love his name. It took a LONG time to settle on his name and because I feel very superstitious about “definitely” picking a name before a baby is born (and about telling anyone the name choices), we actually went into the hospital with three names in mind (Kevin, Sean & Gavin … the last of which was only added to the mix about a month before he was due to be born) but in the midst of a 37+ hour labor we both admitted that each of us had begun to think of him as Gavin in our minds so we settled on that moments before he was born! [True confession, I also loved that everyone we told his name to in those first few weeks told us how much they LOVED the name Gavin and it was very nice to get such enthusiastic affirmation of the name we’d chosen]. It was chosen mostly because we just really liked it ~ but I like connecting names to other things and immediately went out and bought a copy of Sir Gawain & the Green Knight to give to my son in the future.

Although we knew the gender of our first child, somehow in the midst of agonizing discussions about names for him (we have seemingly different “styles”) we threw out a few girls names and at the time we agreed that we both really liked Cora & Molly (truthfully, I loved Cora SO much more than Molly and I had pretty much decided from the moment that Gavin was born that if he had a little sister, she’d be named Cora)
Fast forward to today, however, and lo and behold we know a “Cora” who has been a child in my son’s daycare the past few years. Somehow, knowing another little girl named Cora has caused us both to have such a strong association with this one particular girl, that it makes the name harder to consider (especially for my husband… I think I could get over it, but he really can’t get back on board with Cora). And Molly was used by a cousin and by a friend of ours (spelled Mollie) over the past three years and suddenly it doesn’t seem right this time around.

Since the first week we started seriously discussing names a few months ago (when the ultrasound tech told us it was a 95% chance of a girl), we keep coming back to the name Heidi. I loved the book as a child (and I love names that have literature connections and read that post on your blog about 15 times for inspiration!) We both really like Heidi, but for some reason neither of us can quite say: “I love this, this is her name!” I wonder a lot if Gavin & Heidi are good sibling names? Gavin is so Celtic sounding and Heidi is so German sounding (although with our two family surnames, I guess that is appropriate!). I am also REALLY hoping this little one gets my husband’s thick, dark brown hair and green/hazel eyes and I have a hard time not thinking of a “Heidi” as a blonde with blue eyes (which is unlikely given our genetic contributions!) Finally, although I really like my name “Katy” I have struggled with it sounding too “young” as I’ve grown older. I think of Heidi as a spunky little girl’s name so I’d love to hear your opinion on whether Heidi is name that she will “grow into well” and whether it transfers to the professional world. (and also whether it’s too “70s” as one baby name book suggested)

The only other name we’ve come close to agreeing on is Tessa or Tess. (but not short for Therese or Teresa, just as a stand alone name)

We do both agree that we like names whose spellings make it easy to know how to pronounce and that we like names that are both not too unusual that someone will look at us and say “is that a name?” or too popular — we’d likely rule out names in the top 15 of baby girl names.

My husband also likes (and I REALLY don’t):
Jodee (although I do have a cousin named this and I adore her)
Alyssa
Samantha
Melissa
Michelle

I’m lukewarm on his suggestions of:
Marissa (although I like Maris and Marin)
Mia
Maggie

For my husband, any name we choose also has to pass a test of “sounding like she could play women’s professional soccer” (don’t ask me exactly what that means but it does rule out names like Margery & Adaline apparently)

I really like (and my husband does NOT like):
Gretchen (his grandmother was Margaret & even my trying to convince him that this would be a way of naming a baby after her didn’t help!)
Leila
Antonia
Charlotte
Sadie
Laura
Evelyn
Ada (my husband’s other grandmother was named Aida … pronounced “Ida” so this is a little tricky since the family might wonder why we didn’t just name her Aida)
Polly (my grandmother’s name)
I also like the nick name “Nell” but my husband only agrees to that if if comes from the larger name “Janelle” and I really prefer that it come from “Eleanor”

Can you see how we have seemingly different naming “styles”!!

For some reason I keep thinking we’ll happen upon a name that we just both LOVE and will know that it’s the right one… but we’re getting down to the wire (and I’m having lots of pre-labor contractions as I type this) so I’m sending this one email to see if you or your readers have any name suggestions for us that go well with the sibling name Gavin and blend our two styles of names!

Oh and this is our last baby (unless the absolute unexpected happens) so the only thing we’ll be naming in the future is a dog!

Sorry for the long email, feel free to edit if you decide to post!
Thanks so much! I love reading your blog and have come back to it many sleepless nights during these last few weeks of pregnancy but since I’ve never seen anyone ask about the name Heidi, I thought I’d try emailing!

Katy

P.S. I do just want to add that although the ultrasound tech gave us a 95% chance of a girl, I have serious doubts about the gender sometimes and I keep peeking in the “boys” section of the baby name book to have a back up “just in case” this little one surprises us!! Is it crazy to have a back up boy’s name?

 
I don’t think it would be at all crazy to have a back-up boy’s name: I am always in favor of more name-hunting! At this point in the pregnancy it seems best to prioritize: FIRST get a solid girl name (or solid list of several to choose from) and THEN continue the fun with a boy name search. When I’d start to get stressed about choosing a name for the non-indicated-by-ultrasound sex, I found it comforting to think that if the baby WAS the sex we weren’t prepared for, it would be such an amusing and startling surprise and such a great story, everyone would be distracted by THAT for awhile—and besides, we’d have a perfect reason for needing a little extra time to find a name.

Your husband is suffering from a common affliction among fathers-to-be (not ONLY fathers, but it does seem more heavily weighted toward fathers), which is that he’s thinking about girl names from his own generation, rather than shifting to the current batch of baby names. You, on the other hand, have successfully shifted. This is the main difference between your lists: not so much style as timing.

I like the idea of making sure a name can work for various types of women, though I don’t like the idea of picking just ONE type. The idea behind “Does it work for a stripper or a Supreme Court Justice?” (which I modify to include less-unlikely professions such as manager, receptionist, teacher, lawyer, bookkeeper, check-out clerk, bank executive) is to make sure we’re taking into account that a child could be any of many different temperament types and skill-sets. It’s good to keep the athletes in mind, but also to remember the introverted book-reading types, the drama club types, the pink and glitter types, the nature-loving types, etc. Another thing to keep in mind is nicknames: it’s difficult to picture a Cordelia or a Marjorie playing soccer—but the picture changes if I imagine her teammates calling her Deels or Jory or Flemming.

I seem to be coming down pretty hard against your husband’s side here. Dear, dear, I don’t mean to: he has some very nice names on his list, and wanting her name to work on a girl who plays sports is good thing to keep in mind. I think it’s just reminding me of Paul back when we were first naming our babies and he kept suggesting names like Wendy, Tracy, and Tamara. Those are indeed fine names, and they were perfect fits for the girls we knew when we were in high school, but I was ready to move on to Eve and Elena and Emerson and Lauren and Olivia. KEEP UP, BOYS.

I love the name Cora. A name that feels similar to me is Clara. Clara Sights Flemming; Gavin and Clara. So pretty.

Another possibility: the rhyming name Nora. It reminds me of your Nell option, and it too can be short for Eleanor but works even better than Nell as a stand-alone name. Nora Sights Flemming; Gavin and Nora.

Maura and Laurel have similar sounds as well. I particularly like Laurel, especially since you have Laura on your list. Laurel Sights Flemming; Gavin and Laurel. Would the initials LSD bother you?

I think Heidi might be a very good compromise name. It’s a name from my own high school, and yet I feel ready to hear it again—unlike many of the other names of my peers. Heidi Sights Flemming; Gavin and Heidi. But I’m not sure I like it with the actual D-surname, without the Sights in between.

There’s also Idey or Eidey (stand-alone, or else short for Eidelyn/Idelyn), which share many of the sounds of Heidi and also give you a tie-in to Grandma Aida-pronounced-Ida. But this may fall into the “Is that a name?” category you’re talking about.

Ivy, too, has some of the sound of Heidi, without the potential ’70s problem, and I love the repeating V sound with Gavin. Ivy Sights Flemming; Gavin and Ivy. This is one of my favorite options.

Holly falls into this same category as Heidi for me: sure, it was used in my generation, but it’s more the “1970s owls” category than the “1970s bangs” category: I still want it around. And it’s similar to your old favorite of Molly. Holly Sights Flemming; Gavin and Holly.

A good compromise category might be The Baby Name Wizard‘s New Classics: these are the names that I was struggling to describe using owls and hair, but really what they are is names that work at our ages AND at our kids’ ages. Wendy, Tracy, and Tamara aren’t on there, but Kevin, Sean, Tessa, Holly, Alicia, Samantha, and Marissa are. Other good possibilities: Bethany, Cara, Bridget, Clarissa, Jocelyn, Lara, Laurel, Leslie, Meredith, Sabrina.

Name update! Katy writes:

First of all apologies for having taken SO long to update you on the name of our little girl!

(It’s been a busy three months with two kiddos and in the midst of it, I wound up back in the hospital with gall bladder surgery so I’ve been playing “catch up” on nearly everything!)

Secondly, thank you so much for posting my letter and for your very thoughtful response! And thank you to the many people who commented and offered suggestions as well. What you wrote as well as the many comments helped me to fall even further in love with the name Heidi however, I still kept feeling like I would need to see this baby to settle on that name.

After you printed the letter I made a huge list of every single name that was suggested by you as well as all the other names that were given in the comments. I grouped them by the ones I loved, the ones I didn’t like (or couldn’t use because I work in an all-girls school and they have the wrong connotation) and ones that I wanted to think about. I showed the list to my husband and after several long conversations, we settled on three that we could agree would be wonderful names: Heidi, Tessa & Leah (thank you to “Erin” who commented and suggested this name)

Despite my hopeful projections on Sept 12th, when I wrote the letter, our little girl took her sweet time and didn’t arrive until Sept. 28th. During the 36+ hours of laboring in the hospital, we were still so undecided that my husband kept offering other ideas and we even started to throw Mira into the mix of names. I knew, though, that I would need to meet my daughter to decide ultimately (which drove the nurses crazy as I felt so protective of wanting to decide on our own, we wouldn’t even share our top names with the nurses/midwives/my mother during the entire labor).

Finally, though our little girl was born … and as much as I LOVE the name Heidi, even from the first moments of seeing her, I wasn’t sure that was her name… she spent the first ten hours of her life as “Baby Girl” and while we cuddled and she nursed I kept trying out our names to see what fit…(Admittedly, I really wanted to look at her and know she was a Heidi, but something about her tiny little face, wouldn’t let me settle on that!) ultimately she let us know that she is a Leah. So I’d like to introduce you to our darling Leah. I think that Gavin & Leah wind up working well together and it really is a name that just seems to “fit” her in a way that the other names didn’t!

My only slight naming regret is that in our discussion of the name, we never imagined that a name spelled Leah would be pronounced any other way except “Lee-uh”… and for the past three months I have been asked about the pronunciation (and had to correct people ~ even close family members!) because many people pronounce it “Lay-uh” (or “Lee”).

So thank you again for all your advice. Attached is a photo of our little Leah at about 2 months in a beautiful handmade dress from the mother of a friend of mine!

Brooke writes:

Hi! My name is Brooke and my husband is Brian. Our last name is similar to Peterson.

We are still in the preliminary baby-growing and baby-naming stages (16 weeks) and have not yet found out if our baby-to-be is a girl or boy.

If it is a girl, my top name choice is Ivy.

Brian has agreed to this name, but he wants it to be spelled Ivee. He knows someone named Ivee and does not know anyone with the name Ivy.

I love Ivy, but I pretty much loath Ivee. He feels the opposite. He thinks it would be weird to name a little girl after a plant. I feel like it would be even weirder to give her a made up name…or at least a made up spelling for a name.

We have a short list of other names that we can agree on – Nora, Sarah, Eden, Eve, etc. – so it is not like Ivy/Ivee is our only choice.

But, since it is my favorite and he has actually (amazingly!) agreed to it, I don’t know if I should settle for a spelling I dislike or just give up on my sweet Ivy and go with another name.

Or…maybe it will be a boy and we can wait to worry about this issue until another pregnancy.

Should I settle for Ivee? Should we move on and keep looking at other names?

Thanks so much!

 
I’d start by seeing if you can find out if your husband’s mind can be changed on the issue of whether or not it’s weird to use a plant name. Ivy, Rose, Violet, Lily, Willow, Daisy, Heather, Holly, Iris, Jasmine—these are all plant names that people use as-is, without having to alter the spellings. We do the same with many other noun names: Hope, Grace, Autumn, May, River, Ruby, Faith. I would first see if your husband feels the same way about the spelling of these other names, or if it’s just that he’s not used to Ivy as a name. It isn’t that we never change the spellings of noun names (“Brooke” is a convenient example; Lilly and Saige and Skye also come to mind), but Ivy is in the category of names we as a culture don’t consider weird to leave as it is.

Your husband knows an Ivee, which certainly influences his feelings. The Social Security Administration may be of assistance here: in 2010, there were 1,073 baby girls named Ivy, and 13 named Ivee. Another 61 were named Ivey; another 33 were named Ivie. The spelling Ivy is clearly the main spelling. This is not to say that the main spelling must be honored; it is only another suggested argument against his feeling that Ivee is a more natural spelling of the name.

Because I so strongly side with you about spelling it Ivy, I’m reluctant to even mention these possible compromise spellings: Ivie, Ivey.

Name update! Brooke writes:

I followed one commenter’s advice and left the name conversation alone until we learned the sex of our little one.

We learned that we were having a boy, so the Ivy/Ivee conversation has been tabled. I am sure it will come up again if/when a future pregnancy brings us a girl, but for now, I have just left it alone.

My long list of potential boy names was largely vetoed and we didn’t make a final decision until we met our little man, but we are so happy with our choice. His name is Samuel Birger (BRR-jer). Birger is my dad’s first name and I love that Sam has this connection with his Pops.

Many thanks to you and your readers for all of the comments and consideration.

Veronique writes:

My husband and I are about to have our first child, a boy, and having a really hard time with his name. We have a lot of names we like, but we haven’t agreed on one and he is due any day now (Monday to be exact – although I think it may be a bit later than that.).

One name we have both liked from the start is Austin. Although a coworker of mine just named his son Augustus, so now I’m worried it too similar … it is a very small office. Although, my husband says I shouldn’t worry about it.

Other names we like are:
Ethan (although we just realized how popular it was so have nixed it)
Sebastian (not sure I like it with Morrison)
Miles (I love this name, husband isn’t crazy about it – especially with our last name)
Julian (but our friends just named their son it, so don’t think we can).

My dad’s family is from France, so I would love a French name that can easily be pronounced in both languages. We haven’t had much luck finding them, two options we’re considering are:

Phillip/Phillipe (not crazy about the nn phil though)
Henry/Henri

Would love to hear your thoughts on the names we’ve thought of or ones you suggest. I like names that are a little different, but my husband is a bit more traditional. We don’t have any set middle name, it will really depend on what we choose as the first.

Thanks!

 
I do think Austin is far enough from Augustus that it’s not an issue. Augusten and Augustus might be too close, but Austin and Augustus are so different, not just in sound but in style (and I wonder if they might be planning to call him Gus?). If you’ve both liked it from the beginning, this could be the best choice.

A friend of mine has a son named Phillip and they call him Pip. My mom and I agreed that this makes us want to use the name Phillip, just so we can use that fabulous nickname.

I’m not familiar enough with French to know which names sound good in both languages, but using the France section of The Best Baby Names in the World, From Around the World and the French section of The Baby Name Wizard to help me (some of these are in there, some of them I thought of when seeing names that were in there), I suggest this list:

Adrian
Clark
Claude
Dax
Everett
Fabien
Frederick
Gage
Gideon
Hugo
Jasper
Jerard
Lucien
Luke
Mark
Nicholas
Pascal
Russell
Simeon

(In many cases, you’d need to decide whether to use the French spelling or the U.S. English spelling; I leaned toward the U.S. spellings when making the list.)

I have to keep myself from over-pushing the name Pascal. It’s French and almost unused in the U.S. (only 28 new baby Pascals born in 2010, according to the Social Security Administration), but I think it could really work well here.

My other favorites from the list with your surname: Everett Morrison, Frederick Morrison, Gage Morrison, Hugo Morrison, Luke Morrison. Adrian and Fabien seem closest to Julian and Sebastien.

If Ethan is too popular, I wonder if you would like Ian? It’s more like “Yun” in French: here it is on Forvo—it’s like the “i” is still there, but swallowed.

Would your husband like Milo any better than Miles? On Forvo it sounds more like mee-lo.

Name update! Veronique writes:

Austin Henri Morrison has arrived Tuesday at 7 AM – almost right on time. I’ve attached a photo of him, he sure is a cutie. Thanks again for the post and suggestions, it was all very helpful and appreciated.

Rose writes:

I desperately need your help! My name is Rose, my husbands name is David and our last name sounds like Lucas. I have 2 & 1/2 year old twin girls named Seraphina Lily and Arabella Poppy, and a 9 month – yes, 9 months old!!! – old baby girl named India Violet. We call the girls Sephy, Bella and Indie about 75% of the time. We have a baby boy due on the 7th of October – can you imagine the look on our faces when we fell pregnant not even 3 months after Indie?This baby will definitely be our last!

So anyway, we are having a horrible time trying to name him. I think it’s hard because our girls have such unique, gorgeous, princessy, names. For example Seraphina, Arabella, India and John sounds strange (not that I even like the name John). We know that his middle name will either be Henry or James after my father, depending on which sounds better with the first name. I’m also not sure on whether we should choose a name with a nickname as the girls all have nicknames.

A name we loved for India was Emerson “Emmie”, as Emerson is David’s, mothers maiden name. I know that Emerson is a ‘uni-sex’ name, but is it masculine enough for a boy? It could possibly be an option. Emerson James Lucas…

Here are a few names we have considered:
Oliver – But I’m not a big fan of the nn Ollie.
Jude – I really like, but I don’t know if it fits with the girls names.
Elliot – My husband likes it, but I am worried I would call him ‘Elle/Ellie’.
Max – I love Max, but I think it sounds too much like a nn and my husband doesn’t love it.
William – We both quite like the nn Liam, but Liam Lucas doesn’t sound any good.

So there you have it. Please help us!

Name update: Rose writes:

Sorry I didn’t get back with a name update sooner. Unfortunately our sweet baby boy was stillborn on the 30th of September 2011. We named him Emerson James.

We had decided we would wait until he was born to name him, and had the names Theodore ‘Theo’, Judson ‘Judd’ and William ‘Liam’ on our list. However when we saw him we knew he was an Emerson! The twins refer to him as ‘baby Em’ and love to look at the pictures we have of him.

Thank you for your wonderful suggestions, even though we did not use them.

Amy writes:

My name is Amy and I’m 27 weeks pregnant and have a C-section scheduled for the 16th of November. I feel like I am going crazy trying to pick out a name. We have a three year old girl Celia Rose, and are expecting another little girl. I am so behind on everything to get ready for this second baby, which is so unlike me. I am usually so decisive and ahead of schedule! Yet for some reason this time my husband and I just can’t seem to pick a name! HELP!!

We thought we’d found her name three times now. The first name picked was Evelyn, but the longer we both thought about it the less we both liked it. The second name we liked (I think I liked it more than he did) was Phoebe, but once again a few weeks later we started re-discussing the name. Finally I really thought we had it when we settled on Charlotte, but both girls having a C name started to bug me, not to mention that Charlotte is a very long name to go with our rather long last name (Pinkerton) and the final straw was when my sister named her new dog Charlie.

So it seems that once again we are back to not having a name picked out. My husband doesn’t have a ton of ideas of his own, so it’s mostly me making endless list while trolling the internet that he later shoots down. We do not want a popular name (I am an Amy from the 80’s and my husbands name is Jack) and I guess I don’t want another C name- it makes me worry about the possibility of needing another C name if we had a third baby girl. I’d also like a name that had a nickname since I never had one but it’s not a deal breaker.

I have a list of lots of names we like ok, but I so love my first daughter’s name Celia, and it seemed that as soon as it was mentioned we both loved it and never looked back, I’d hate to feel like we settled on something we just like “ok” for our second girl!

As far as middle names go we really like Grace, but have thought of using Ann as well since it is my mother and my sister’s middle name. We’d also thought of trying to find another flower middle name to go with Rose but that’s harder than we thought it would be, not to mention the trouble I’d be in if we had a third girl!

Anyhow here are the names still currently on my list:

Charlotte- which I really do love, but I just don’t think it’s for us.

Evelyn- I love the nickname possibility but I just don’t LOVE it.

Everly- Just found this on your website; I like it but need more time to think about it.

Phoebe- My husband’s least favorite of the “almost” names.

Emma- I can’t help but think of the show Friends.

Genevieve- I love this name too- but a good friend just used it!

Vivian- This name was my top pick but the husband vetoed it.

Juliet- cannot find a great middle name for it and its meaning (down-bearded youth) kind of bugs me. It does have great nickname possibilities though.

Eleanor- I love this name and my husband loves this name. Unfortunately we named our dog Eleanor so it’s not like we can use it now! UGH! Not to mention my good friend is naming her baby Nora.

I really would like to have a named soon because it’s making me crazy. I could use all of this time I’m spending hunting for names on finishing (or starting- ha) the baby’s room! Thanks for your help!

You’ve got Evelyn and Genevieve and Vivian and Everly, and this is making me think you like E and V sounds, which makes me wonder if you’d like Eve. I think it has a lot of the sweetness and charm of Celia. Eve Pinkerton; Celia and Eve. Or Eva, unless that would make you feel pressured to use -a names for a future daughter. Eva Pinkerton; Celia and Eva.

Or Geneva. Geneva Pinkerton; Celia and Geneva.

I think Violet would work well, too. I think of it as similar to Charlotte, because of the similar endings and sweet vintage sound. It’s also similar to Juliet and to Vivian. Violet Pinkerton; Celia and Violet. Then you’d have a flower name as the first name, and could freeform for the middle name. Violet Ann? Violet Grace?

Anna would be pretty. Anna Pinkerton; Celia and Anna. I like that a lot. Anna Grace, maybe. Celia Rose and Anna Grace. Or Anna Charlotte. Or Anna Juliet.

Or if you’d like something a little fancier, Annabel. Annabel Pinkerton; Celia and Annabel.

If you like Everly, you might like Ellery or Emery.

Eliza is pretty and underused. (But like Eva, it might make you feel pressured to choose another -a name for a third girl.) Eliza Pinkerton is so charming I can hardly stand it—I wish that were my name! Celia and Eliza.

Or Eloise has much of the same sound as Eliza, but without the -a ending. Eloise Pinkerton; Celia and Eloise.

Another -a name possibility is Fiona. Fiona Pinkerton; Celia and Fiona. You know, I started this post feeling like your surname would be difficult to work with, but I’m changing my mind completely: it adds both dignity and whimsy, and that’s a combination that’s both valuable and hard to find. I feel like pressuring you to have three little girls and name them Celia, Eliza, and Fiona. (I put them in alphabetical order because I like that, but also look how the ‘i’ moves from fourth-letter to third-letter to second letter! And all three names have five letters and three syllables! HAVE THREE LITTLE GIRLS AND GIVE THEM THESE NAMES.)

I think Grace would work wonderfully as a first name. Grace Pinkerton; Celia and Grace.

I want so badly to suggest Ivy and Iris, but the I.P. (sounds like “I pee”) initials kill it for me.

Beatrix Pinkerton; Celia and Beatrix. I love the name Beatrix and wish more people would use it so I could swoon more often.

Alice Pinkerton; Celia and Alice. I just noticed what great twin names these would be: they’re made of the same five letters, rearranged.

Meredith Pinkerton; Celia and Meredith.

Elsa Pinkerton; Celia and Elsa.

Elena Pinkerton; Celia and Elena.

Name update! Amy writes:

Thank you and all your readers for all of your help and suggestions! I was totally stressed out about finding the perfect name. After reading your wonderful response and all the comments I fell in love with one of your suggestions. My main concern was that my husband wouldn’t like it. So I had him read your reply when he got home and tell me if he liked any of your suggestions. Amazingly we both ended up picking the same name. I was surprised and THRILLED!! After several weeks of “living with the name” we both still totally loved it and it became our second child’s name! So I am happy to announce that our sweet little Eliza Grace was born November 16th. We are completely in love with her name and it fits her perfectly. Thanks again!