Hello,
We are expecting our second child, another son, who is due at the end of April. As with our first child, we are struggling with boy names. Our first son turned two in January. With him we didn’t know his sex until he was born. The girl name came easily, but we didn’t have our boy name until after he was born. His name is William August. Most people, including us, call him Will, but he has a Grandpa that has never called him anything but Gus, which I love.
This time we know we are having a boy but still we struggle. Obviously, I want a name that goes well with William, but William can go a few different ways. Royal, cowboy, American traditional…
Here are some things I love about Will’s name.
I love that it is timeless. It is common/popular now, but it has always been common/popular. I like that it doesn’t feel like we are trying to “bring back” an old Grandpa name. I love that it has a nice formal name with a cute but still manly short name. And I love that the short name is kind of trendy and modern while the long name is classic and traditional. I love how his middle name gives his full name a more modern feel too. August is trendier but still old, which I like.
I would love another name that I can love for all (or most) of the same reasons I love William August.
Here are some names we have considered, discarded, or won’t/can’t use. Did I mention my husband is very opinionated about names??
Names we both like: Malcolm (Mac), Arthur (Art?), Milo, Calvin (Cal)
Names I like (but hubby is against for one reason or another): Samuel (Sam), Louis (Lou?), Jack, Oliver, Nicholas (Cole), Lucas (Luke), Marshall
Names hubby likes (but I’m against for one reason or another): Charles (Charlie), Gordon (Gordy), Henry
Names you would think we would like but aren’t crazy about: Daniel, James (at least for a first name), Michael, Matthew, Jacob, David, Joseph, John, Christopher
Names close friends have used recently: Alexander, Benjamin, Thomas
We would like to avoid super Biblical names if possible. If it helps, our girl name has always been Alba Josephine. Our kids use my husband’s last name – a one syllable name that starts with an S.
Are there any names left? We are stuck. I will end with saying that a lot of the names I have discarded in my mind I could see myself falling in love with. When I was pregnant with my first, I never thought I would grow to love the names William and August as much as I do now. So maybe there’s hope!
If you are willing, we appreciate any advice you may have!
Thanks!
Emily
This is a letter that has occupied my mind. I’ve been trying to think of names that are like William, but William really does seem to be a special case. How is it that a name can sound fresh when it hasn’t left the Top 20 since the start of the Social Security Administration’s records in 1880? Well, it just does, and I don’t think other names can be held to that standard. I wrote a whole post with suggestions but kept getting bogged down: one name was great but didn’t have a good nickname; another name was great but definitely a little Grandpa-ish; yet another name had a great nickname and didn’t sound Grandpa-ish, but didn’t feel fresh to me either.
When I find myself going in circles like that, I stop and reevaluate: am I looking for something that exists, or am I spinning my wheels because what I want is something I can’t have? Right now, my theory is that you’re stuck because you’re looking for something that may not exist: a name you love, that you love for the same reasons you love the name William, that isn’t ruled out for any other reason. Considering how small the pool of timeless names to choose from is, and adding an opinionated partner to work with, and then ruling out names for various reasons—well, as I say, this is the point where I stop and reevaluate.
I think from here there are two paths:
1. Give up on one or more or ALL of the characteristics that make a name similar to the name William, and instead choose a name you like for different reasons. It can be fun to like names for different reasons, and makes for good naming stories. (“We liked YOUR name because it’s timeless yet fresh, and we liked YOUR name because of George Clooney. Mmmm, George Clooney. …I mean because it’s timeless yet fresh.”)
2. Go through the list of timeless names (your current candidates and others not on your list) again and again until you start to develop love feelings for one or more of the new or discarded candidates.
The first path would lead me to throw all my backing behind the name Henry, IF the reason you ruled it out was something such as a lack of nicknames you wanted to use, as opposed to something such as a horrible association. I just LOVE William and Henry together. I think it may be my absolute top favorite pairing with William. I don’t have too strong a Royal Princes association with it, in part because the names are so common, and in part because I always think of the younger prince as Prince Harry; many people don’t even realize his name is Henry. The nickname issue would probably be the biggest hurdle for me if I were you: I don’t think of Henry as HAVING nicknames. I know it DOES have nicknames (The Baby Name Wizard lists Hank, Hal, and Harry), but none of those feel natural to me: even if I picked one (I’m theoretically keen on the nickname Hank, since I have a dear relative named Henry/Hank), I don’t think I’d end up using it. I’d just call him Henry, and maybe hope another nickname would evolve naturally.
If Henry is out, that same first path would lead me to throw out everything and start over, as if this were your first baby and you were just making lists of names you liked, without putting any of them through the “Is it the same as the name William?” filters. I would even include on your list names that don’t go with William, since those might lead you in new and useful directions.
The second path, on the other hand, would lead me to suggest going through the list name by name, talking up each one that seemed like a good idea, giving yourself time and reasons and opportunities to fall in love. I’d suggest exercises such as imagining the name written in cute preschooler handwriting on a drawing (I’d go so far as to find a child-handwriting font and mess around with it), or imagining William calling the baby “Baby _____,” or looking at pictures of cute babies online and trying the names on them, or going over again how you never thought you’d love the name William as much as you do.
I am about to suggest my children’s pseudonyms, pretty much one right after another. They come to mind because William is also one of the pseudonyms.
I wonder if you would like Robert. That’s one that, like William, doesn’t seem to go away. One thing that makes it different than William, however, is that its popularity is currently in a slow and gradual decline. It was in the Top Eleven (darn you, 1881 and 1887, for preventing me from saying “Top Ten”) from the start of online Social Security records in 1880, until 1989. Even now, it has only fallen as low as #62. William and Robert; Will and Rob. One thing I like about it is all the other cute nicknames, like Robin and Bobbin and Bertie and so forth. (I’m imagining modifying the lyrics to “When the Red Red Robin Comes Bob Bob Bobbin’ Along.”) One thing that’s interesting to me about the name Robert is how much it grew on me: when I first used it as a pseudonym for my firstborn, I didn’t even like the name, but now I do. I like calling him Rob. It’s pleasing to me that I know Roberts my grandfather’s age, my dad’s age, my age, and my children’s age.
Next Swistle-kid-pseudonym to consider: Edward. This is another that I don’t think I would have considered as an actual name, but then I used it for a pseudonym and now sometimes I wish I HAD named the twins Elizabeth and Edward! What a great pairing! I don’t know if I would have used a nickname or not. Eddie, perhaps, or the more deliberate choices Ned and Ted(dy). William and Edward; Will and T…. oh wait. Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Hm. I guess that would rule it out for me.
I see I am already out of pseudonyms to recommend.
I think it would be worth exploring the possibility of using Benjamin even though your friends used it. William and Benjamin; Will and Ben.
From the list of four names the two of you agree on, my favorite is Calvin. That is in fact my favorite for you of all the possibilities on your list or off it. I think it comes very close to duplicating what you like about William: the formal, non-Grampa-ish full name with the friendly boyish-but-great-for-a-man-too nickname; the timeless feeling with the modern freshness.
For a middle name, I might look for something more common, so that William has a common name followed by a less-common middle name, and Calvin has a less-common name followed by a common middle name. I would do this mostly for the satisfaction of it; that is, if I found a less-common middle name I liked better, I would certainly go with that. But William August and Calvin James has a very satisfying balance, and I enjoy that kind of thing.
Or, I would do my usual middle-name-finding exercise, which is to skim lightly through the baby name book (something like The Baby Name Wizard with a selection of names, rather than a name dictionary with tens of thousands of them) saying the names to myself very rapidly (“Calvin Aaron, Calvin Abel, Calvin Abraham…”) and pausing to make a list of anything that catches my ear.
Or, I would go through the list of names you have already, looking for one that can be salvaged. Sometimes a name has to be discarded as a first-name candidate because of something that is not its fault, such as that it sounds too close to a sibling’s name or creates undesirable initials or is a name someone else just used. It can be satisfying to salvage one of those for the middle name.
Name update!
Dear Swistle,
I wrote to you back in February seeking name advice for our second son. You featured my story as “Baby Boy S_____, Brother to William August” on 2/18/2015.
Well, our little guy decided to come 11 days early on April 14, 2015. He was born without a name even after all the thought and discussion, hours and hours of thought and discussion! I guess we work better under pressure because we decided on a name shortly after he was born. We named him Charles Archer and have been calling him Charlie. William August and Charles Archer. William and Charles. Will and Charlie. Grandpa will surely call him Archie, so Gus and Archie. I love.
I want to thank you again for your advice. I was determined to find a name that I loved for ALL the same reasons I love our first son’s name, William August, but you helped me realize that perhaps I was searching for something that doesn’t exist, especially with so many already discarded names. While we seriously considered using your suggestion of Calvin (it was one of just a few names that went to the hospital with us), you had also inspired me to look back at my (extensive) “no” list and reconsider some classics. Charles/Charlie was one that my husband has always liked, but I had put in the “no” bucket because of a past association. However, when I revisited it later on, it grew on me quickly, and I began seeing our son with that name. Archer kind of came out of nowhere, but I think fits nicely.
Thanks again for your help! And a big thanks to everyone who commented as well. A picture of our boys is attached. :)
Emily
