Hi,
Happy New Year!
I really enjoy your blog and hoping you can help with the impasse my husband and I are at naming our baby girl who is due in April 2021. Our son’s first name is August (nickname Gus) and middle name is Roland (family name) and both children’s last name is both mine and my husband’s (non-hyphenated). I would say his last name sounds like Doctor and mine is like Shuffler except with an E instead of the U, so combined surname sounds like “Shuffler Doctor”. For this combo -er/-or problem we avoid any names with those sounds or any names that also sound like last names.
Our problem is that I always wanted to name a daughter Aurelia (nickname Lia) and my husband hates it. Basically, I find myself comparing all other names to to and being disappointed because it is both exactly what I want and goes great with our son’s name (both classic Latin names). Last time we couldn’t decide on a name for our son until 2-3 days after he was born because I was so indecisive so we are trying to avoid that situation again.
In general, I like names that are a bit different but not too out there. I like a name that’s at least two syllables and has a 1-2 solid nickname options and I like a vowel sound at the end of the name; I like fairly girly names as well. My husband tends to like shorter names (which I think we could incorporate easily as middle name) but otherwise any trend in his preferences is lost on me. He does generally like French names but I want to avoid anything that’s too hard to spell or pronounce in English. Both of our lists are below.
My list
Aurelia
Celia
Elisa(betta)
Rosalie
Cecilia
Ophelia
Laurel
Magnolia
Interested in a name with Ginny as nickname but haven’t even able to figure one out that I like as full name (ruled out Virginia)Husband’s list
Abigail
Colette
Norah
Zoe
Willow
Claire
MargotThis is our last child and, if helpful, our unused short list names last time for our son were Jonah and Henri.
Thank you!
Susan
The first step is a hard one, and it is to fully let go of the name Aurelia. It makes your task so much harder if you are trying to find a name you like as much as that name, when such a name might not exist, and when the comparison is irrelevant anyway. Your task now is to find a name you like best out of all the names that are not Aurelia. One potentially helpful exercise is to imagine you ALREADY USED the name Aurelia for an earlier daughter, so it is Really Truly Out of the Running.
(I say all this even though it has happened here TIME AND TIME AGAIN that someone writes in that they have One Perfect Favorite Name But Husband Hates It, and then the follow up is “Thanks for all your help! We named her The One Perfect Name Husband Hated! No further explanation, byeeeeeee!!” Still: best to assume for now that Aurelia Will Not Be the Name.)
If it helps at all to let go: I find Aurelia Shuffler Doctor quite challenging to say. Not to the extent that I would try to talk you out of it if the two of you fervently agreed on Aurelia and were writing to ask if you could still use it with the surname, but enough that I feel some relief at not having to say it after finishing this paragraph. I think it’s all the R and L sounds: I find Laurel and Rosalie and Claire similarly tiring to say with the surname. And the Aur- is kind of like the -er/-or sound we’re trying to avoid.
It’s hard to be sure from seven names, but my guess is that your husband’s style is Top 50 Names + French Names. The French names on his list don’t seem any more challenging to say/spell than Aurelia or Elisabetta, so that seems okay so far.
Possible long forms for the nickname Ginny (some of these are more of a stretch than I’d prefer, but I tend to be on the That’s a Stretch end of the spectrum, so I like to include those for people on the That’s Not a Stretch end of the spectrum):
Geneva
Genevieve
Geneva
Georgianna
Gianna
Ginevra
Giovanna
Imogen
I am wondering if you are considering family names for the middle name, to coordinate with your son’s name. I ask partly because in general our culture thinks it’s more important to use family names for boys than for girls, and I like to counteract that notion where I can; but I am MOSTLY asking because it matters for the compromise it looks like we may be headed for: I need to know if the middle name is in play. It SOUNDS like it is, since you mention considering using one of the shorter names your husband likes there. And if so, that is also a possible place for Aurelia: you’d likely have to trade it for your husband having more sway with the first name, but many a couple has found a happy compromise with “MY first choice from YOUR list” as the first name, and “My beloved first choice you aren’t willing to use as a first name but can accept as a middle” as the middle.
Another possible compromise is if your husband has a family name he’d like to use, and you’ve been opposed to it: you might be able to swing “HIS first choice from YOUR list” as the first name, and “His family name you didn’t want to use” as the middle name.
We might also want to poke around a little in how your first child’s name was chosen. Did one parent have more say in choosing? Which side is the family name from? It’s not that these things MUST come out even (and I think in general they just DON’T, for many many valid reasons), but sometimes when a decision is difficult, it can be useful to find more Ways To Decide.
An exercise to try: Which names do you like best from his list? / Which names does he like best from your list? Can you look at those names and think of similar names you like better? For example, let’s say that from your list, his favorites are Rosalie and Magnolia; maybe Rosalie makes him think of Rose and Rosemary and Natalie, all of which he likes; and Magnolia makes him think of Maggie which makes him think of Margaret and Margot, which he likes, and Magnolia also makes him think of Azalea and Ivy and Marigold and Meadow, and he also thinks of Nola—and maybe you don’t really like ANY of those, except well actually you think Azalea and Marigold are pretty good. And then maybe you look at his list, and you like Claire okay but it’s too short/plain, but it reminds you of Clarissa and Clarity, and Clarity reminds you of Felicity; and you also remember an old TV show on which a child was named Emma-Claire and that’s pretty cute even if you don’t like it enough to use it; and Clarabelle isn’t right but it reminds you of Arabella; and something about the Cl- makes you think of Claudia which is amazing with August. And maybe he doesn’t really like ANY of those, except well actually he likes Felicity and Claudia. AND SO ON. You can even tennis the names back and forth: maybe you like the whole vibe of Ivy from his-suggestions-based-on-your-list, but it’s just WAY too short for your tastes, but that gets you both going on botanical names. Or maybe he likes the sound of Claudia from your-suggestions-based-on-his-list, but he doesn’t like the repeating -au- sound with August, but it still gets him interested in names like Lydia and Cordelia.
A similar exercise: discussing what you DO like about names on the other parent’s list. Maybe you like that Abigail is three syllables instead of one or two, and you like the fun initial of Zoe, and you like the way Margot is an interesting combination of cute sound + sophisticated image. Maybe he likes the thought of calling an Elisabetta “Betty,” and he likes the flower reference of Rosalie, and he likes the nickname Maggie AND the flower reference of Magnolia. Maybe then the two of you start questing for long cute sophisticated floral names with cute nicknames and fun initials. OR WHATEVER.
A similar exercise: each parent look at their OWN list and see if they can identify some things they like about those names, and see if any of those pieces can be found in or combined with names on the other parent’s list. For example, you clearly like the -lie/-lia ending. Adding -lia to names on your husband’s list gets us nowhere (except that Margot + -lie/-lia would have made me think of Magnolia), but it might work to search -lie/-lia names and see if there are any your husband likes. And you both have a lot of long-O sounds on your list, so the two of you might look together for more long-O names to consider: Fiona, Noelle, Naomi, Violet, Josephine, Eloise, Gwendolyn, Meadow, Leona, Lois, Rosabelle, Rosamund, Opal, Simone, Ramona, Elodie, Persephone, Cleo, Clover, Antonia (these are just examples of names the exercise might come up with; I’m not checking if they go with the style/surname/sibling or not).
Also, you’ve noted that he seems to like shorter names, and you seem to like longer/frillier ones. Each parent could look at names on their own lists for compromises: you could see if you can find longer/frillier names with shorter nicknames that he could use (Rosalie/Rose, Clarissa/Claire, etc.); he could see if he could find longer/frillier versions of names he likes (Norah to Eleanora, Claire to Clarissa, etc.).
Finally, the two boy-name options (Jonah and Henri) make me think of Josephine and Henrietta.
One other random idea…I see you both have 2 C names on your list. You could use Celia Colette or Cecilia Claire (or Celia Claire/Cecilia Colette) and have the nickname CiCi.
Maybe you can find a name that will use the nickname Lia, like Magnolia or Alia? I also suggest a shorter first name since the last names make for a long name. I do love Rosalie, though!
I also have one son named August, but called Gus 100% of the time. I find I am a bit obsessive trying to find names for future brothers or sisters that perfectly “match” his name structure in it’s a classic, 2-3 syllable name, with a short, fun nickname. You haven’t mentioned any similar focus, but reading between the lines of your email, it seems like it might be part of the equation? (I’m guessing I may be seriously biased and seeing what I want to see here!) Anyway, I wondered if that lens might explain some of the problems here. Perhaps your husband leans toward names more like Gus while you lean to names more like August, and maybe that’s OK! If this is your last child, a name that matches either of Gus’s names will likely feel right.
For what it’s worth, Imogen — Ginny strikes me as a perfect match. Also, Magnolia and Margot seem so close, and both are wonderful. You have a great list here, good luck!
You are absolutely right on – I want a classic, 2-3 syllable name with at least one short, fun nickname option (ideally 2 – I like that Gus has the option for Auggie when he grows up if he prefers it)! I also like a little bit more of a lyrical/poetic nature in my girl’s names (like lots of vowels and flow and not so many hard consonants) so it’s been a bit tough to square all of those desires!
I don’t think my comment will be helpful but I just *have* to comment, because I have a daughter named Aurelia (nickname Goldie) and a son named Augustine (nickname Auggie and/or Gus) so I clearly love your naming style! My other daughter is named Clementine, which I find to be a good match with Gus, for what it’s worth.
If you want to call her Lia, may I suggest just naming her Lia? That would go with your husband’s style and would give you your preferred actual usage name? Maybe Leah or Lea.
On an unrelated note my nephew August (Gus) is the youngest of four, in case sibling names for August will be inspiring to you. The kids in that family are June, Duncan, Nora and August (Gus). I like the bookend month names, but for only two kids I would find June and August to be Too Matchy.
That’s exactly what I came to say!
I just wanted to chime in that I have a son named August and my daughter’s name is Alice. Good luck for your name search!
PS: Our Alice is also an April baby :-)
I think the name Eugenia would warrant the nickname Ginny. Ginny and Gus sound very cute together.
I’m going to take Swistle’s suggestion of names from his list with Aurelia as the middle and make some combos.
Abigail Aurelia (if you like the double- A)
Clara Aurelia (altered a little to make it 2 syllables and end with a vowel, per your preferences)
Norah Aurelia
Zoe Aurelia
OR, a few from your list that end in -lia matched with middles from his list
Celia Willow
Cecilia Claire (CeCe?)
Cecilia Margot
Magnolia Abigail
My first thought was Genevieve, but then I saw Imogen and swooned a little. Also, I went to the Google to check Ginny Weasley’s full name, since that was the first Ginny that came to mind, and here are the results: If you know your Arthurian legends then you might recognise Ginny’s full name, Ginevra, as the Italian form of Guinevere.
I personally am not entirely sure how to pronounce Ginevra, and think it may be a little much for the last names. But there are a lot of very good options here! I hope you find one that suits for your precious baby!
I agree with Swistle that Aurelia might not be the best match with the surname. Somehow my tongue is tripping over it a bit.
How about Tabitha? Tabby! It has a different cluster of sounds. Tabitha Shuffler Doctor. August and Tabitha. Tabby and Gus sound like the neighborhood kids everyone wants to jump rope and play kickball with. Tabitha is a little unusual, but still classic. Plus it’s girly and vowel-ending.
Regarding compromise, it seems like right now each of your whole name lists is up against the other person’s whole name list. It might help to gradually narrow the options in ways that seem fair.
The the way my husband and I did this was to both make a top-10 list, so 20 total names to choose from. Either of us could veto any names from the list that we strongly disliked. After clearing the decks, we ended up with a list of about 10 names we both could live with.
The next phase was to discuss sounds and name-meanings. Would it go well with the last name? Could we imagine saying this name 100 times a day? Did the name have a history that we found either pleasant or objectionable in some way? Etc. etc. With only 10 on the table, we could carefully consider each individual name.
After much discussion and sleeping-on-it, we whittled the list down to about 3 top contenders. Then the real compromising began, like “kid will have husband’s last name, so my first-name preference gets more weight” (though this will not be the case with your family, you could wheel and deal over the middle name, or take turns if one person got more say in your son’s name). But by the point of top-3 we had reached a level where all the options seemed pretty good to both of us. We both ended up loving the name we chose!
I’m not clear on if Ginny is a name that your husband would go for or not, but August (Gus) and Ginevra (Ginny) is a swoon-worthy sibset. Are there other ancient Roman names besides Aurelia that could be nicknamed to something your husband would like? Lavinia, for example, could be Lia or Vinnie.
Would you like Leona nn Lea? Or Miranda nn Mia, Mira, Andy?
I am just popping in with if you want a name that has the nickname Ginny and your husband likes French names, might I suggests Eugenie. I have a friend whose daughter is Eugenie, nickname Ginny, and it is lovely. I did notice another commenter with Eugenia, which is also lovely.
I know it isnt exactly the same as Aurelia, but what about Aurora?
I wonder if you have considered Aurora? It is similar to Aurelia, has a cute nn Rory, which sounds great with Gus, and seems to meet many of the sounds on both lists.
We are strongly considering Aurora (Rory) – we thought of it after I submitted this letter!
What is it about Aurelia that your husband doesn’t like? Does he like Lia? Because if he does, I’d suggest just choosing a Lia-name and calling it done.
Dahlia
Liana
Lina
Talia
Malia
Or if it’s the -A endings he dislikes, could you call her Lee or another Lee-name instead as a nickname?
Juliet – Jet or Lee or Liet (I know a Liette and she wears it well)
Pauline – Polly or Leen
Kathleen – Kit / Keen / Lee / Leen
or how about my favourite suggestion – Cleo!
Personally, I find Aurelia harder to spell than most French names. Probably something to do with my reading habits.
I rather like Zoe. It’s Greek, rather than Latin, but they do fit under the Classical umbrella. After all, the Romans “borrowed” a lot of Greek culture.
Eugenie (Genie)
Emiliana
Marcella
Natalia
Seraphina
Claudia (Dia)
I basically only come here to recommend Miranda, lol. But: another classic Latin name, with fun nicknames, and works in multiple languages.
At Ginny and French I immediately thought Genevieve. I’ve only known 3 in my 30 years but they are each a generation apart and it’s timeless and perfect on all of them. It’s unusual while still being familiar. I currently live next door to a 7-yo Genevieve who sometimes gets called Eve/Evie, the 30-yo goes by Genny, and the 60-yo goes by Jenny. With that generational nickname progression, Ginny makes perfect sense. August and Genevieve; Gus and Ginny.
How about Celine?
Julia!
Lydia nn Lia
Other ideas:
Marjorie
Hazel/Azalea
Violet
Ginger nn Ginny
Regina nn Ginny
Gwen
Ruby
Or Louise. It’s French but easy to spell.
The little Gus I know has a sister named Mabel, which is a cute pairing. But Gus and Clementine is also pretty awesome.
Other thoughts:
Evangeline. August and Evangeline. Gus & Ginny (big stretch or little stretch?).
Emilia. August and Emilia. Gus & Lia.
Camille. August and Camille. Gus & Millie, Gus & Mille, Gus & Cammie.
I feel like Aubergine with a nickname of Ginny would be great with August (Gus)!
Such great options!
I’d like to add Lucille (nn Lucy), Beatrice (nn Tess) and Matilda (nn Tilly or Matti).
I met a tiny Clarice recently and loved it. It was familiar, surprising, and graceful all at once. If Claire is too plain and Clarissa too much, perhaps elegant, tailored Clarice is just right.
Clarice Aurelia Shuffler Doctor sounds lovely.
Claudia also seems perfect in every way.
My two girls have very different names (1 rare historic name, 1 top-100-since-medieval-times, both graceful, powerful feminine names with phenomenal namesakes) and I have angsted over it, but focusing on what they have in common has helped, and thinking about how the name’s main job is to serve the child well. Maybe you can find a similar thought pattern to help make this process easier?
It seems like you and your husband’s style could easily crossover with many flowy French names that have short nickname potentional like:
Juliette (I’ve also heard of Julias nicknamed Lia), Gabrielle or Brielle
Louisa or Eloise
Lilia
Genevieve
Emmeline
Wanted to suggest Rosemary or Romilly, nn Romy. I also love the suggestion of Eugenia or Eugenie to get Ginny.
Mom of an August and Rosalie here to give you my girl name list just in case:
Phillipa (Pippa)
Georgia or Georgina
Lenora
Lorelei
Louisa
I also have a relative named Magnolia who went by Margo. She was a cool lady who worked at Bletchley Park in WWII
How about Venetia (nn Tia), Frederica (nn Freddie or Ricky) or Deirdre (nn DiDi), or Vivienne (nn ViVi)?
Venetia and Frederica…are you a Georgette Heyer fan?
Love so many of the thoughts here, from Swistle and everyone who has commented.
I personally fall in to the category of folks who LOVE nicknames (and coming up with nicknames!), and generally I fully support even the longest of “stretches.” (Example: Evangeline is on my list, with the nickname of Annie, and the other nn possibility of Ginny. I tend to think that if the letters appear in the full name, they totally work for the nickname. So if there’s a G, I, and N in the full, Gin/ny works as a nn. Same with sounds… That’s what originally made me like Annie for Evangeline.. I know the letters are all there, but the first thing I noticed was the sound… Eve-anne-juh-leen. So Annie! Oh! Also! Because of the way the letter g sounds in Ginny, I’d feel comfortable using it with some j names – for instance, Jasmine nicknamed Ginny feels natural to me.)
Phew, okay. Now that I’ve written a book. I love the name Virginia, but there are a lot of cool ways to get to Ginny! (Some of the ones I’m listing were suggested by Swistle already… I figured I’d go ahead and repeat the ones of her that I really like! :) )
Adrienne*
Ginevra
Genevieve*
Ingrid
Ginnifer
Imogen/e*
Regina*
Josephine*
Guinevere
Gillian*
Evangeline*
Ginger*
Jasmine
Gianna
Giovanna
Juniper
Teagen
Georgia
Georgina
Georgianna*
Eugenia
Eugenie*
Julian/ne
Gracelynn
Gwendolyn
I don’t think it falls into your style, but… I’ve also heard that the name Genesis has been becoming more popular… I’d love to be Ginny if I was a Genesis.
The ones with * I feel would work particularly well for your family. My top choices for you would probably be:
Ginger
August and Ginger, Gus and Ginny
Imogen
August and Imogen, Gus and Ginny
Adrienne
August and Adrienne, Gus and Ginny
Gillian
August and Gillian, Gus and Ginny
Josephine
August and Josephine, Gus and Ginny
I *know* Adrienne is… Not a G name. Or a J name. Haha. But… I can’t possibly be the ONLY one who totally hears a sort of “gin” in there. It’s like the dri makes a very very similar sound to gi in this name. Adrienne to Drinny to Ginny, hurrah! Sounds fabulous with August, too!
Also wanted to mention that there are two other ways I would consider getting to nicknames. Both involve mixing two names. A G-name paired with an N-name, like Gemma Noelle. Gloria Neve. Or there’s playing with the sounds. The “in” sound in particular, especially with a G-name. Like Gabrielle Quinn. Grace Finley. Greta Lynn. Etc.
So! Other names I think you can play with to get to the nickname Ginny:
Corinne
Zinnia
Gia
Gloria
Gemma
Lynn
Gwen
Jocelyn
Fin-names
Gabrielle
Quinn
I know you have a lot of other options then just going with Ginny, but since you mentioned it and because I love the name on its own – but particularly with Gus – I thought I would just comment with some possibilities to get you there in case that’s what you end up choosing!
May I suggest Esme, Sabine, Florence and Josette along the French vein and Daphne, Sylvia, Phoebe, Calista and Mirabel in the classical style.
Thank you! I brought Mirabel(le) to my husband and we are both pretty into this name — it may be our winner!
Congratulations! Have you considered nickname-rich Margaret/Marguerite? It would give you Margot as a nickname, but also a million other possibilities: Maggie, Meg, Maisie, Greta, Peg, Pearl. For
What it’s worth, I think Marguerite Aurelia sounds amazing.
Aurelia has to be off of the list because hubby hates it. Even if he didn’t, I’d have concerns with the name. Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Augustus… it just seems like you are really, really into Caesar, so much so that you picked names from his name…it is a bit much for my taste.
I suggest Cordelia. It gets you the Lia that repeats through the names you like. It is an underused classic. When I pulled it up on BNW, it lists Abigail and Willow as style/sibling matches, so I think it will appeal to both of your tastes.
I also love Lavinia and Eugenie/Eugenia for you.
Letter writer here – Thank you for this really detailed response! The thought process you’ve laid out here is really helpful and I’m going to walk my husband through some of these over the coming days.
For background on our son’s name, it was my favorite name when pregnant and my husband nixed it and then gave into me after an insanely long and hard labor and delivery. Unfortunately, as much as I want to try this strategy again on Aurelia, I’m guessing this was a one-time kind of pass.
I had forgotten to mention in my email that we are also are leaning towards a family name for baby girl’s middle name and our most likely candidate is some variant on Rose because my grandmother’s name is Rosemary and my middle name is Rose (as a nod to her). Probably my first choice for that is Rosalie if it can work well with whatever first name we pick since I like that it’s a nod but it’s a different name from both my middle and my grandmother’s name.
What about Minerva, nn Minnie? The Roman goddess of wisdom.
What about Amelie or Amelia? That would have the French background you like plus the nickname Lia, and an A name which your husband also seemed into. Amelia Colette is sweet.