Hi there,
We just found out we are having a baby girl! We are over the moon!!! We already have two boys — Everett Christian (goes by Everett) and Pierson Bost (goes by Bo). All of our names are derived from family names, so we would like to continue the trend.
My mother is battling cancer and she is my rock, my best friend. Her name is Colleen, which I have never really loved as a potential baby name. Her mother, my grandmother, is Charlotte, who is also an inspiration and I happen to love her name. Lastly, my sister’s middle name is Kathleen and my SIL is Katherine. From all of this, we were thinking about the name Charlotte Katherine, nn Charlie Kate. Only problem is it leaves out my mom! So then we thought about Charlotte Kathleen, same nn. The “een” in Colleen makes it into the name and so does my sister’s middle name. Of course, my husband likes the sound of Katherine better.
Finally, since we already have an Everett is Charlotte to similar sounding for a sibling name? I’m sure we would rarely call her by her full name, so does this matter?
Thanks in advance!!!
Meg Biggers
It sounds to me as if the main issue is that you are trying to cram too many honor names into one baby’s name. I suggest prioritizing: which family member(s) do you MOST want to honor? It sounds as if you most want to honor your mother, but you don’t want to use her name. The question, then, is this: What’s more important to you: honoring your mother or using a name you prefer?
The fact that I’m asking the question will imply that I think you should consider it more important to honor your mother, and that is not the case. But it’s rare for family honor names to coincidentally be the same as our favorite names, so usually a trade is involved: you give up a name you love more, in exchange for the satisfaction of honoring a family member, pleasing them with that honor, and remembering them every time you use the name.
When I was pregnant with my first son, I struggled with this decision: I most wanted to honor my grandfather, but I actively disliked his name—and, awkwardly, it was the name of a former serious boyfriend of mine. We ended up using it as the middle name, and I’m so glad: I feel warm satisfaction with that choice, and happiness at the memory of how thrilled my grandfather was about it. To my surprise, I have also come to like the name; I still wouldn’t want to use it as a first name, but I actively like it.
If it’s more important to you to honor your mother, I think you should use her name, probably as a middle name. If the child is named Charlotte Kathleen, and you have a grandmother Charlotte and a sister whose middle name is Kathleen, I don’t think your mother is going to think the -een of Kathleen is a tribute to herself. I suggest Charlotte Colleen, honoring your grandmother and mother while also giving you a first name you love.
I realize this loses you the nickname Charlie Kate. I suggest it anyway.
I don’t think Charlotte is too close to Everett. I see the matching endings, but even if you do end up calling her by her given name, I think it would be fine—and worth it, for the honor name. It helps too that another child is in between: Everett, Bo, and Charlotte is less noticeable than Everett, Charlotte, and Bo.
My opinion is that to make a name an honor name, you need to use the name (or darn close to it). Choosing 3 letters that both names share and calling that an honor is just so much weaker than actually using your mother’s name, Colleen. If your mom is your rock, if you want to create an amazing bond between her and your daughter, if you want your daughter to grow into an adult with similar values – use your mother’s name. Colleen is a lovely name and will feel unique and fresh on a 2018/2019 baby. We have two boys – the first a name we picked because we loved the sound and meaning, the second has a family honor name. The honor name brings me so much more joy and satisfaction than the name we picked because it sounded good to our ears. If I were to name another baby I would pick an honor name all the way. The moment when your mom finds out you are naming your baby Colleen will be an incredible moment and an incredible memory.
Same. I think that after some number of contortions, you run the risk of sending the message that while you love the intended honoree, you Really Do Not Like Her Name. I think of how I’d feel if I learned I was to have a namesake named, for example, Johanna (with the “han” intended to represent me)–not very honored. Maybe slightly so; points for trying, at least. But then I think of how I’d feel in the same situation if another honoree was actually named (or middle-named) Johanna–and now I feel…not honored at all. I might even be annoyed by any discussion of this name as somehow meant to honor me, when clearly it honors the relative named Johanna.
I agree 100% with Swistle. I have a Maria Kathleen and it’s never occurred to me that it was similar to Colleen. I named my third daughter with my mom’s middle name and it’s been a great decision, it really meant a lot to her. Good luck!
I also like Charlotte Colleen – you could call her CC if you’re looking for a nickname.
I agree that you should use Colleen in its entirety. I suggest Charlotte Colleen Kate Lastname. Then you get your Charlie Kate & the aunties get honored without your having to choose –rine or –leen.
Charlotte Colleen, and you call her Charlie Kate if you like. People have names for children that don’t always spring neatly from what they’re named. I feel l like this solves the honorifics in a beautiful way, as your mom’s and grandmother’s names flow so prettily.
Yes to Charlotte Colleen and nickname Cece…loove it!
I agree the middle name slot is a good place to honor a person you love with a name you don’t. Charlotte Colleen has my vote. C.C. would be a cute nickname, as a couple people have already noted.
Have you considered Colette – a name on its own but also a combo of Colleen and Charlotte? And Colette Catherine could also get you CeCe as a nickname as suggested by a previous poster.
Yes, I was coming here to suggest Colette as a “mash up” of sorts.
As was I! Colette honors both Colleen and Charlotte, and gives another spot for an honor. Colette Catherine would even give you Cece!
I’m a big fan of mashup names – mt middle is Marie for my great grandmothers Maria and Mary, my daughters is Elspeth for Estelle and Betty. But Kathleen just isn’t working for me. I don’t know if it’s because it’s such a common Kathy name, but it doesn’t say honor name to me. I’m with Swistle here: Charlotte Colleen ( me, I’d be calling her CharliColl, soft ch, rhymies with popsicle.) I have such a common middle, but I love it because of the story. Colleen may not be your favorite, but the story behind it will be meaningful to her, always.
If you really don’t want to use it, I would scratch Katherine too, and not use an honor name at all.
Here to add the perspective of someone with “Colleen” in her given name. My parents chose it for my middle name as a tribute to my Irish American heritage, but it is not exactly my style. I mentioned this once as an indiscreet teenager and my poor mother has continually asked me why I don’t change it. I would NEVER do this. It is significant to me because of the meaning it had for my parents when they chose it and any way, it is a fine name. I vote for either Charlotte Colleen or Colleen Charlotte. In addition to Cece, it could also get you the nickname Coco, if you don’t mind the similarity to Bo.
Agree wholeheartedly with Swistle and all the commenters. I’m another one who believes that (1) the honor is diluted when the name is contorted too much to include too many people, and (2) the honor is exceptional when love for the honoree is the ONLY reason you’re using the name. It’s unlikely that you just “happen” to love the name Charlotte–it’s a current top-10 name that appeals widely to the members of the babymaking generation. Colleen is particularly special because it’s NOT that–because you’d be using it only out of love for the person attached to it. I suspect that down the road, you’d be much happier to have used the name as-is than to have ostensibly borrowed a piece from it.
Also, unless you actively decide otherwise (as you’ve done in the case of your son Bo), in most communities the middle name will not matter or be known to most people. It’s purely a treat for anyone who asks and/or cares–so if you dislike Colleen, take heart! No one would know unless you wanted them to (and then they’d get to hear about your beloved mom).
I know some people/cultures consider initials or similar names as honors, but to me it is just less of an honor. I do have a daughter with a mash up honor name, but I loved the name, couldn’t use the original name with my last name and both of the honorees were long dead so I couldn’t hurt their feelings. My other kids have full honor names and I feel a little silly explaining the mash up when all the other names are obvious tributes.
I love Charlotte Colleen! CeeCee! if you want to have three middles Charlotte Colleen Katherine. It’s a mouthful but honors important people. Colleen as a first would be fresh and new (and novel compared to Charlotte). Colleen Katherine is wonderful and just so special.
What’s your mom’s middle name? Maiden name? Maybe there is another option to consider?
My immediate thought was Colette and I see someone else already suggested it as well! Another blend of Charlotte and Colleen could be Charlene. My vote is for Colette as the first name or Colleen as her middle. Congrats and the best of luck to your mom in her battle!
I’m dittoing everyone else. Use Colleen as the middle name, use Kate as a second mn if you want to.
Dittoing too, CC (or CiCi or CeeCee)
What about CarlyCo, OOOH CHARCOL (sounds like charcoal).
Carolyn sounds similar to Colleen, Kathleen, Katherine and is a feminine form of Charles, just like Charlotte, so it could honor all 4 women.
Also, Corinne, Coraleen, Charlene, Jolleen, Collette, Nicolene, Caitlin.
I came to the comments to suggest a mash-up as well. I like Charlene Katherine, nn still Charlie Kate , but I also think Colette is lovely.
I think Colette is a great suggestion! Would your mom be sad or feel like second place if you gave your child your Grandmother’s first name and your child your mom’s middle name? My sister gave my niece the middle name of JoAnn by combining Joel (dad’s first name) and Ann (my sister’s middle name) and I thought it was an appropriate nod to the both of them
I also think that you should use Colleen (and not Kathleen) as a middle name – or, even better, as a first. (Since you’re calling one of your sons by his middle name, you can as well name your daughter Colleen Charlotte and just call her Charlie.)
Besides, I’m sure using an honor name will mean a lot not only for your mother – but also for your daughter. From my personal experience: both of my names are honor names. Joanna is a name of my paternal grandmother who died a few years before I was born so I unfortunately never even met her – but I always felt some kind of connection with her through the name we share. And my middle name Maria is my maternal grandmother’s first name. I actually never particularly liked that name, but my grandma Maria passed away last year, and now I really appreciate having her name as well… What I’m trying to say is that an honor name may mean something very special for both “parties involved”!
I would use it as a middle. I would be offended if someone took the second part of my name that was also another family member’s name and claimed it was some kind of tribute to me! Middle names are a great place to put names that are meaningful but you don’t love. Choose a first name you absolutely love and use Colleen as the middle name.
Colleen feels much fresher and stronger/more unique to me on a 2019 baby than Charlotte, which is lovely but trendy. Your mother sounds amazing and it sounds like she’s going through a hard time – I encourage you to consider Colleen as a first. It would be SUCH an honor and I think you will be amazed how much joy it will bring you. My son is Francisco (nn Frankie) in honor of his dad’s dad and the memory of the day we announced the name is one of my happiest memories. (We had it embroidered on a baby blanket and wrapped it and left it under the tree addressed to “Francisco” while I was pregnant – he opened it and said, “What is this??” and we said, “Oh! That must be a present for the OTHER Francisco – it took him a minute to get it but my MIL understood right away and started to cry – then HE cried – then we ALL cried. ) So here’s my vote: Colleen for the first.
agree with this!
also if you are going to mashup, like everyone elese I think Colette is the way to go.
This story made me tear up. What a lovely memory!
Charlotte Colleen, nn Cici or Coco
Katherine Colleen, Katie/Kate
Colette is lovely and combines Charlotte and Colleen in a way that feels intentional enough to honor both
Overall I agree that you should use the actual name if you are going to consider it an honor name.
I totally agree with Swistle. My brother changed my grandmother’s name for his daughter’s middle name because his wife didn’t like the “een” and it really doesn’t seem like a tribute to her. Colleen is lovely because it’s connected to a lovely person. I didn’t much like my middle name growing up (the version with the “een”) but love now that it links me to my lovely grandmother.
Another person who came here to suggest Colette! Love the name on it’s own, but the fact that it’s a mashup makes it seem quite perfect for you.
If popularity makes any difference to you, Colette vs. Charlotte solves that… I know several little girl Charlies at the moment!
That being said, you can’t go wrong with using Charlotte or Colleen as a first name :)
I have to amplify Swistle’s assertion that you may even come to love the honor name itself. My son is named after my beloved grandfather, and I did not love his name when we chose it. But now after talking with my son about his grandfather (who died many years before he was born), and bellowing it a million times, and whispering it softly to him when putting him to sleep, I love the name (and I mean the name itself not just my son or my grandfather). So you never know. If you don’t want to put it first, make it a middle name. It will probably make you smile everytime you think about it.
Ditto the others… Charlotte Colleen, nn CeCe or Colette as a first or middle. It also occurs to me that if you don’t care for Colleen or Colette as a given first name, you could call her Collins as a nn. Or if you want to call her Colleen Charlotte as her given name, you could actually call her Colette as the nn.
Cute!
I want to vote for having Colleen as the middle. I want to second my vote of adding Kate as a second middle, if what is holding you back from using Colleen is missing that Charlie Kate nickname. I feel like Charlotte Colleen Kate Lastname is lovely and beautiful.
Even if the name Colleen is not your personal preference as far as name style goes, I really feel like you will love it for your daughter once it is hers and that every time you hear it, it will bring you joy.
I don’t think you’ll ever regret using Charlotte Colleen.
I agree with others that Charlotte Colleen Kate is a perfect choice if you want to hang on to the Charlie Kate possibility.
But really, use Colleen!
I think if you really want to get to Charlie Kate you should use Kate as the middle name. It seems like the “honor” of Kathryn or Kathleen as a middle name is more of a happy accident they get you to the name you really want and your sis and SIL happen to have that as their middle names, rather than truly setting out to honor one of these women. It sounds like your mom is amazing and has no expectations of having her name used for the baby, but I do wonder if there will be some awkwardness that you “honored” someone in your own generation but skipped over her. Charlotte Kate Pierson sounds like a wonderful name to me.
Like everyone else, my top choice for you is to use Colleen as the middle name and I absolutely love the nicknames CiCi and Coco.
I actually think it’s even MORE of an honor to use a name that you wouldn’t have used otherwise.
I agree with Swistle and other commenters, I don’t think the “een” in Kathleen would invoke very Honor-y feelings in me if I were the honoree Colleen. It would feel disingenuous and manufactured to me and I might even be slightly put-off. This is especially highlighted because you have a family member actually named Kathleen. I might have “given a pass” (not that me giving out passes matters), if, say, you wanted to honor a Katie AND a Colleen and came up with Kathleen, but not when you’re honoring a Kathleen and a Colleen.
Actually, come to think of it, it doesn’t sound like you’re trying to specifically honor the Kathleen at all. It just so happens to be a family name that you like and has the “een” in it, so you’re figuring “why not?” To me, that’s a second layer of honor name dilution.
For what it’s worth, I think Charlotte Colleen is absolutely DARLING. I’m saying it out loud and it’s giving me very warm feelings. :)