Dear Swistle,
I am due in October with my second son. Everyone in my immediate family and my husband’s immediate family’s names start with “J” and there are many, many “J” names in our extended families as well. We therefore decided to continue the tradition and name all our children “J” names, our first son being named Jameson. Although we weren’t pregnant yet, we started discussing potential boys names for the future. We were having a very difficult time coming up with another boy’s name that started with “J” that fit our three criteria: 1) not a given name already used in the family, 2) not overly popular, 3) we love it. We finally came up with a name that we love: Jules.
The problem is that my sister has four daughters, one of whose name starts with “J”, Julia. One of Julia’s many nicknames is Jules, although she goes by Julia on a regular basis. There will also be eight years and many states between Julia and her cousin-to-be. Everyone in my family, sister included, really likes the name and doesn’t think there should be an issue…except for my brother-in-law. He has told my sister that Jules is his special nickname for his daughter and if we name our baby that name he won’t call the baby by his given name. He even went so far as to “jokingly” state that if we name our child Jules he will buy a dog and name it my given name. Ironically, our second favorite name is Julian, which would inevitably end up being shortened to the nickname Jules, and he doesn’t seem to have a problem with, yet.
I don’t think my niece Julia will be upset by her new cousin having her nickname since she suggested Julian for my first son’s name, but don’t want to hurt her feelings in any way. I also don’t want to acquiesce to my brother-in-law over his emotional attachment to a nickname that we all use on occasion for his daughter. Lastly, when there are so few names, i.e. one, that fit our criteria, I do not want to settle for a name that I will be second guessing for the rest of my son’s life.
Please help! I know that I have some time still, but this has been weighing on my mind.
-Jenée Morgan
Your brother-in-law is being an ass, I think we can agree on that. The question is, what effect if any should this have on your baby-naming decisions?
What I WISH we could do is just make him see that he’s being an ass, and have him say “Sorry for being such an ass,” and then you go ahead and name your own baby just as he got to name his own baby. He did not name his baby Jules; even if he HAD named his baby Jules, you would still be able to name your baby Jules, because names are not one-time-use items. Presumably Julia Roberts’s parents are not buying a dog to name after your brother-in-law just because he used their daughter’s name.
Is there any hope of your sister handling the task of making him see that he’s being an ass? Or I wonder if she DOES have a problem with you using Jules, but doesn’t want to say so. It seems a little suspicious that she’s passing along to you what her husband said, apparently without kicking his legs out from under him first.
Well, let’s assume your brother-in-law does not change his tune. I hate the idea of giving in to his jerky behavior, but there are some things that are not worth the family drama. My vote, then, is for using the name Julian. I like the way it totally gives you the Jules nickname AND is actually CLOSER to the name Julia, but in a way that is evidently flying under your brother-in-law’s radar.
If that doesn’t work (either you find you are just not happy with the name Julian, or else your brother-in-law suddenly notices it and doesn’t feel at all bashful about preventing you from using another name), I vote for going back to the drawing board. I would go back even as far as “Do we really want to use all J names?” It’s hard to choose names, and it’s even harder when 25 out of 26 initials are eliminated. The new tradition could be “Firstborn child gets a J name,” or “Everyone gets a J somewhere in their name,” or “J-name, then K-name, then L-name…”.
If you decide J names are your most important preference, and it looks as if that IS the decision, then it may be that another preference will have to give way. There may just not BE any more J names you love that are also unused in the family and not popular. If we were chatting right now in my skyscraper baby-naming office, here’s what I’d give you for this week’s homework: rank the other preferences. If J names is first, what’s fourth? If one preference has to go, which one will it be? Picture a balance scale: if “name we love” is on one side and “uncommon name” is on the other, which weighs more? What if it’s “not already used in the family” and “name we love”? And so on.
If this is too hard to do (you might think, as I would, that it really depends on the particular name), then I’d suggest eliminating one preference at a time, experimentally, and seeing what kind of lists you get. For example, try kicking popularity out of the running: pretend that all J names are equally uncommon, and see which ones you like best. Next, reinstate the popularity preference, but knock out the requirement that it be a unique name in the extended family. Then, go back to the no-repeats rule, but consider names you don’t love: it can feel a little weird to do, but it happens all the time that someone uses a name they don’t love (because it’s a family tradition or an honor name, because they couldn’t agree with the other parent, etc.) and then they grow to love the name once it belongs to the child. Even with names I loved, it’s funny to think back and remember all the doubts I had about the names before using them.
“In my skyscraper baby-naming office” — Love!
I would ignore this brother-in-law entirely, as there is no reason a person who would take this stand (and threaten to retaliate in such a deranged way) should be allowed to drown out the rest of the family’s much more reasonable voices. Can’t we assume there’s at least one person in every family who opposes pretty much any baby name, whether or not that person is cloddish enough to say so?
It also seems relevant to me that “Jules” is hardly an uncommon nickname for names with the Jul- prefix. It’s not as if he named his daughter Julia, nicknamed her Starlight, and then learned you were planning to name your baby Starlight. And Jules is one of your nieces “many nicknames”!!! If you were having a girl, would Lia/Leah also be off the table? If people are going to play the “first to use it claims it forever” game, then it’s simply not fair for them to use multiple nicknames.
I suspect that if you name your son Julian and primarily refer to him as Jules, this brother-in-law will turn out not to be okay with that, either, and then you may find that you regret not going with your first choice anyway.
Also, I’m with Swistle–what’s with the sister passing along this passive-aggressive comment? In your shoes, I’d probably be wondering whether there was a trace of her opinion tied up in there as well.
But, counterpoint–Swistle said something last week that I think applies here, about very nicknamey names sometimes seeming to suggest that they are standing in for a full given name. If I met a person named Jenny, I would assume her given name was Jennifer. If I met a little boy named Jules, I would assume his given name was Julian. (And I would love it, because I love both names.) This might be worth considering. Jameson and Julian are also great together, in my opinion.
Good luck!!
To clarify my second paragraph–Jules is not your brother-in-law’s “special nickname for his daughter.” It is a nickname that about 90% of the Julias I’ve known in my life have used for themselves at some point. His daughter herself is certainly special, but this nickname isn’t special anymore than “honey” as a special term of endearment for his spouse would be.
Yes, your BIL is an ass. Name your baby Jules if you want. Your BIL will get over it. And if he doesn’t, so what? That becomes his problem, not yours. If you are really concerned about it, name your son Julian and then proceed to call him Jules at home. It sounds like BIL isn’t around enough to know & you can revert to your son’s full name for special occasions when everyone is together.
I would really only be concerned with your niece’s feelings & she seems OK with it. My guess is, most 8 year olds would feel pretty special knowing that their baby cousin was named “after” them.
Name your kiddo Jules and your BIL can suck it. If your niece and sister are okay with it, I say go for it.
That said, I have a Julian nicknamed Jules, and I have to say, it really is a great name.
Good luck!
I’d use Julian and call him Jules, only because the number of Julias and Juliets out there is significant enough for him to be around girl-Jules his whole life. Jules is lovely if you’re French and / or raising him in a French speaking / more cosmopolitan area, but I would not want to be a male just-Jules.
I know it’s unfair because of all the ‘boy’ names on girls these days and yes, nothing wrong with a boy having a feminine name BUT. Give him an option to fall back on so he can make that choice himself later.
Jameson is a solid choice and doubly masculine with the -son. In comparison, Jules feels like a nickname.
I completely agree with everything Renee said here. Julian also has the nickname option of Jude, which is even more masculine down the road if necessary. As much as I DISLIKE the BIL, I think everything said here is spot-on!
Name your baby Jules AND YOU get a dog and name him your brother-in-laws name! Bring that dog to the family gatherings. So great.
YES. But do make sure you pick the most homely dog you can find at the pound.
See, I was going the other direction – name the bay Jules, then send the BIL a list of your preferred breeds along with the birth announcement.
Go for it! I would be totally honored if somebody named their dog after me, so that is a huge bonus. I also like Sargjo’s suggestion that you get a dog and name it after your brother-in-law, but that’s mostly because I think everybody needs more dogs.
Seriously, though, I’m giving your sister a huge side-eye for passing this information along to you. Either the brother-in-law was joking to her in a spousal privacy sort of way and she shouldn’t be repeating this to you, or he is serious and she agrees with him on some level and is thus being totally passive-aggressive by repeating his comments to you verbatim. They don’t get a say in naming your baby. Period. You can account for their wishes in the name of family harmony if you want to, but this seems like a pretty weird request. They don’t own “Julia,” much less a casual diminutive version of “Julia,” much less a male name version of “Julia.” (I’m sure Julia is actually originally derived from Julian or whatever, but you get my point.)
That all said, I do kind of like Julian better than Jules. Julian gives you the Jules nickname, plus a slightly more formal fallback. It’s like a 2-for-1 deal!
I think you should use Jules! I also love the name Jennings if you are looking for other suggestions :)
I agree with other commenters that Julian nn Jules would be preferable to me if I were your son. Gives him options. I suspect you’ve been through every J name but thought I would suggest Jude as an alternative. More distinctly male to me (compared with Jules) and appropriately there is the Beatles song, which was originally called Hey Jules as it was written by McCartney for Lennon’s son Julian. (Also, for additional useless info, note that Julia Roberts isn’t a good example in Swistle’s response because her real name is actually Julie I believe. Why do I know this? Too many years of too much People Magazine.)
1. I concur with all above (and Swistle) that the BIL is being an asshat.
2. Asshat comments aside, I actually prefer the sound of Jameson / Julian versus Jameson / Jules. I really like how the 3-syllable names sound together. Additionally, looking up all three names on the Baby Voyager site, Jameson and Julian both come from a relatively “newer” era while Jules (for a boy) is a much older, different era.
That said, I still concur that you use the name you love most. If it’s Jules, then use Jules!
As a Julia who very often goes by Jules, I find myself torn by this query.
On the one hand I actively dislike both the names Julian and Jules for a boy. But I recognize that’s my OWN specific preferences and that’s not totally reasonable. I think IF I were getting a wee baby cousin, I would prefer him to be Julian with the nickname Jules. But again, that’s my own specific preference and not a reasonable thing to request!
It’s bullshit that Jules is “his special nickname for his daughter” because it’s MY special nickname too. As Swistle says, names are not single use items! Jules is a natural nickname for Julia! It’s lots of people’s special nickname!
So, as annoyed as I get that Julia Roberts’s REAL NAME is Julie and she goes by Julia (who authorized that?), I also realize that I don’t actually OWN the rights to the name Julia and all its similar/related/derived names.
Therefore, name your baby WHATEVER YOU WANT. As a fellow Jules, I give you my blessing.
Right. It’s just not the BIL’s “special nickname,” and that suggestion is as ridiculous as if he named a daughter Samantha and then declared her nickname, Sam, his “special nickname” for her. (Or, as in my example above, got snippy because he heard another guy refer to his wife or child as “honey.”)
Although I suppose it is possible that this BIL lives under a rock and does not know that Jules-for-Julia is basically THE expected nickname.
As the mother of a Julia/Julie/Jules, I’m baffled why a Julia gets to call herself by any nn she wants, but a Julie calling herself Julia for professional reasons is annoying?
I know my Julie has a mom-name, and that Julia/Juliet/Julianne are more on trend, but the wealth of nicknames was part of the appeal for me. And I love all three versions.
Apropos of nothing except that I see it here a lot, and in other baby naming communities and among my own friends, and I totally understand *why* this is an issue, but I’m going to point it out anyway…
I HATE when people talk about names being too feminine when the same people will turn around and heap praise on a gender neutral name for a girl.
But then I have a Julian that I call Jules, and occasionally JulieJules and whatever, he’s fine. Hell, he even was gifted a bunny at four months old with a pink bow embroidered with “Julian” on it, because my husband’s client’s assistant didn’t recognize that Julian was a boy’s name.
So I guess if you’re going to be bothered by people occasionally screwing up your kid’s gender, then you should avoid both Julian and Jules. But otherwise, join us and say screw them all.
(Also, for people suggesting Jude for Julian, please do note that the song “Hey Jude” was initially titled, “Hey Jules.” McCarthy changed it. Julian Lennon’s nickname was Jules.)
My first thought that Jameson is such a masculine name and Jules is pretty much feminine unless you are deep in French speaking country that they don’t really match. Even Julian which is more masculine is still a little soft in comparison.
Yep, he’s an ass. Luckily the puppy named Jenee won’t be terribly awkward, since you don’t live close together. Fingers crossed that he has a distinctive name that you can use for a ferret or something equally uncomplimentary ;)
Jules is great. Julian nn Jules is great. Nobody gets to name your kiddo except you and your husband <3
Your BIL is being ridiculous, obviously, and equating your son with a dog (which seems to be what he’s doing when he threatens to get a dog with your name) is just unpleasant. That said, my first thought when I saw the title, without knowing the situation, was: No. I’ve heard Jules as a nickname for Julia so often that I have a hard time remembering it’s a boy name — and when I DO remember it’s a boy name, I think of Tarantino (was it Pulp Fiction that had a character named Jules?). It’s doable, and I don’t think your son will be scarred for life or anything, but it might be a hassle.
I also don’t like “sharing initial” rules beyond immediate family, and if you plan on having more kids, you need to think now about whether you can settle on a J name you love for them, too.
But you know what? You say that you and your husband love the name Jules, so I cast my vote on “use the name you love!” Since it seems that your sister is the one telling you what her husband says, I think you should tell her that the matter isn’t up for discussion any more. And since the rest of your family likes the name, I don’t think your BIL is going to get much traction being bratty in public about it.
I agree that you should use the name you love. That said, I adore Julian nn Jules particularly with Jameson.
I like Jules and Julian about equally. My strongest association with Jules is Jules Verne and that’s a nice positive association. I’m torn what to recommend because I wouldn’t want to reward your BIL’s bad behavior but as Swistle says, sometimes the drama is not worth it, and with Julian you do get both names because you can use Jules as a nickname.
Good luck and please update.
I agree with some of the other replies that I would have the full name Julian and use the nickname Jules. This is because I do not personally prefer nick-namey names, but do really like longer given names with nick name options. And this would hopefully address any weird issues that your BIL or sister may have about Jules– not that you have to, but more-so if it also bothers you about their reaction.
Other ‘J’ names I like:
Jensen
Jude / Judas / Judah
Journey
Jennings (Jenner)
Julius (Jules)
Jayce (Jay)
Joaquin
Jordan (Jordy or Jori)
Jory / Jori
I really dislike the name Jules for a boy. It sounds and looks so feminine. It also doesn’t go with the brothers name. I also don’t like the name julian but out of the two it is better.
I would like to suggest Jace or Jayce. I also think Jared is a great strong name and I like it with Jameson.
Jameson and Jared.
Other names are Jude, Joel, Jordan.
Jameson is such a handsome and strong name I think you should keep searching for a name that is just as great!
Jameson and Jules as a sibling pair makes me think boy/girl. But I have never met or heard of any males named Jules, so that heavily influences how I personally perceive the name. If you love it, definitely use it! My vote would be for Julian nn Jules.
There are a couple names that have already been mentioned that I really like. Jared and Joel. I think they both go great with Jameson(awesome name btw!)
Your BIL is being unbelievably rude. What on earth does he intend to call your son if you do name him Jules? RUDE. And the dog thing. Even more rude. Very childish. Maybe he just had an initially unfavorable reaction and will get over it. And if he doesn’t, oh well! Not his kid.
Congrats on the baby! Please let us know what you go with.
I’m going to go with the majority and say name baby brother Julian with a nickname of Jules. Are you set on Julian or are you open to other “J” names? What about naming brother a J name but using Jules as a middle name?
Because Jules is most often shortened for Julie/Julia- I would tend to think your sibling set was boy/girl.
I like Jameson and Jacoby (Juh-co-bee) together.
I also know a boy named Jaben which is unpopular- perhaps you might like this too?
What about Jett?
I agree with others that you should share with your sister that your BIL’s comments were not nice.
It’s funny because literally the first thing I think of when I hear the name Jules is Jules Verne, not Julia/Julie/Juliet/Julian nicknames! I’m not immersed in French culture, either. :-)
This thread makes me wish/hope/ask politely that Swistle’s could generate a post on traditional feminine names (or names that have been used for girls for awhile) that should go “boy.” As someone who would love a boy named Lawrence nn Laurie, it’s time to counteract the concept once a name has ‘gone girl’ it is tainted with effeminate cooties and can never go back.
Swistle, not Swistle’s. Sounds like I’m asking for a department store to carry a new flavor of names :)
This was a very satisfying response – especially for the number of times you called the writer’s ass of a brother in law an ass.
I like Julian better with Jameson.
I guess you could also always look to the Duggars for inspiration. ;) How do you feel about Jeremiah? :)
My husband’s family did this with J names, and his cousin has your name…her brother is Jared. I do think Jared is underused…
Good luck!
I just can’t believe the dog comment, I mean, really?! Who even says that?!
As far as the Sister goes, passing on her husband’s comments, I have to admit I’m a little bit sceptical about this behaviour. If my Husband started carrying on with that crap, that had the potential to upset my Sister, I’d have to tell him to pull his head in! I certainly wouldn’t repeat it to her!
Now, as for the names, I have to admit I’m not overally loving either Jules or Julian here. They’re ok but I always get a ‘girly’ vibe when I hear them and, next to Jameson, even more so. Sorry. 😔
I know you’ve probably gone through EVERY ‘J’ name under the sun but I’d like to throw Jonas, Jarvis, Jenson, Jonathan, Josiah and Jarrett out there anyway. I particularly like Jameson and Jonas together. Jamie and Joe! Or even Jonathan. Jamie and Jonny!
It really doesn’t sound like the whole ‘J Trend’ is strictly adhered to, or expected. As you say, your Sister has four Daughters and only one has a ‘J’ name, so is it really worth making things so much harder? Maybe choose a name that emphasises the ‘J’ sound, such as Benjamin or Elijah?
Look, at the end of the day, this is YOUR baby and you can name him whatever you like. Don’t listen to anyone else, that includes your incredibly rude relatives, and just go with your gut.
Good luck!
Jules seems a bit casual to me with Jameson. I would probably go with Julian for that reason. I also thought of the name Jude when I read your post.
Your Duggar response made me chuckle!
I am a Jennifer with a sister, Janice…my sons are Joel and Jasper. They get many compliments on their names! Also love J names and I think you might have more to choose from than you realize if you decide not to go with Jules. Good luck!
Jasper is great with Jameson!
Jules or Julian works for me; they’re both wonderful. I love Judah, too. Mostly I think that in an extended family which prefers a J naming tradition, people need to calm down. There just aren’t that many J names to pick from. It isn’t poaching–it’s overlap.
Of course what Swistle said was totally true.
Having said that, if all this hubbub gives you heart burn when you think about just Jules, how do you like:
Jasper (Jameson and Jaz)
Julius (still Jameson and Jules)
Jeroboam (Jameson and Bo)
Johnston (Jameson and Joe, John, Johnny)
Jackson (but popular)
Joab
Best wishes on your son!
I think Jasper is a great name with brother Jameson. If you choose to go with Jules I think you should use Julian nn Jules, I think Jules as a stand alone name sounds a little incomplete.
Other j names I like, Jett, Jarvis, Jagger, Jacob, Jackson!
Or maybe just don’t use a J name and just pick a name that you love!
I also think your brother-in-law is an ass. And my first reaction is to suggest you use Jules to spite him.
BUT ….. I am strongly against naming a child something just, to make a point. If you planning to use Jules because you absolutely love the name that’s fine. But using it because you want to take a stand against your Neanderhal brother-in-law isn’t fair to your son.
Personally, I prefer to Julian to Jules and I prefer several other “uncommon” J names to either (Jasper, Jethro, and Jared) but this is not my child to name.
At some point, it would be fun to have a topic on selecting a child’s name to make a point. While I agree in theory that one should not worry about a son’s name sounding or being perceived as feminine as suggested above, the parents are not the ones that have to wear the name for a lifetime. My ex-husband has a “feminine” name (sort of like Kelly though that isn’t it) . It has caused him nothing but hassles his whole life- teasing as a kid, constantly receiving mail addressed to Ms. or Mrs., having people mistake him for a female when looking at a resume, etc.). My current father-in-law has a feminine first name (think Leslie though that isn’t it) and he absolutely refused to do the same to his son’s because of the hassle it caused him all his life.
I would point out to everyone who says that Julian is too feminine that it is currently ranked as the 47th most popular boy name in the country and is more popular than Julia which is ranked at 86 for 2014 and which has been getting increasingly less popular. Julie is ranked at 409.
This isn’t like naming a man in his mid thirties “Kelly” where in 1980 Kelly was the 209th most popular boy name (which I’m actually surprised by, having only met one male Kelly my age) but was the 19th most popular name for girls.
It’s a good point, but you’re forgetting Juliet (and all its spellings, #255 and #258 being the highest) and Julianne/a (and all its spellings, #157 and #185 being the highest.) I’d wager that all the Jul-names naturally lend themselves to the ‘special nickname’ of Jules and moreso in girls. Julians and Juliuses would be less likely to be called Jules by everyone, probably Jude more often or other nicknames (Jay?) or no nickname at all (like the Julian and Julius I know – their parents are specific on no Jules.) I suppose the Jul-girls get Jude and Jett too BUT I’d wager again that there are far more girls to respond to ‘Jules’ on the playground, than boys at the moment.
We occasionally call our Julian, Jules, and I don’t find Jude to be an intuitive nickname. I thought about Jude as a nn before naming him, but have never used it and no one else has either. My dad asked early on if we objected to Jules and I don’t, clearly as I use it. Generally he gets nicknamed Jules or Juju (but he’s two and can’t tell me to shove it yet :) )
Not long after my parents got divorced my dad got a new dog… and named it after my mum’s sister! When mum objected he claimed to have ‘forgotten’ that was her name (yep a month after the end of a 12 year marriage he had forgotten his SIL’s name) – not the best lie I ever heard. LOL!
I am strongly in the no-one owns a name camp. Jules should still be on the table. It would be good if your sister (or partner) could smooth it over somehow?
As an aside – would the reaction be this strong if it was the sister objecting to the name reuse? I wonder if we are so free with the ‘ass’ word because the offended party is a man? Just a thought.
Other J names I like: Jonah, Josiah, Jude, James, Johnny, Jett and Joachim.
I think the brother-in-law is an ass because he didn’t just ask that the name not be used but because he threatened to treat the child poorly and was plotting “revenge” if the name was used (“… if we name our baby that name he won’t call the baby by his given name. He even went so far as to “jokingly” state that if we name our child Jules he will buy a dog and name it my given name. “) If the writer’s sister had said the same things (I won’t use the child’s name and I will name a dog after you) then I would call her an ass.
The threats are asinine not the gender of the person who made them.
I like the suggestion of Julian with nickname Jude instead, but agree that isn’t an intuitive nickname. So I’d just go straight up Jude or Julian.
Personally Jules does sound too feminine to me… but that is just one person’s opinion. I also agree with another commentor that Jameson is a strong name, put that together with Jules… Jameson and Jules, I’d want the second boy to have a stronger name too.
I also like the suggestion of Jasper.
My daughter is named Jewel, and her nickname is Jaybird. So, your kiddo may end up with a different nickname after she arrives too! You kind of never know. Juliana is another option if you are trying not to overlap too much with your niece. It sucks your BIL is such an ass and ruining this name for you. I’d be honored if someone named their dog for me, I love dogs. Also it’s like you are getting revenge vicariously when little Jenee pees on his favorite chair. Good luck!
Another advocate for Julian called Jules:
–Julian is a better “match” with Jameson
–Jules is used for both girls and boys; Julian as his given name clarifies that
–The Julian “Jules” Lennon connection — with Lennon’s popular song originally called “Hey Jules” — is pretty cool!
On the other hand, I just looked up Jules and saw reference to it as a short from of Julius. Using Julius as the given name might be the more diplomatic route for your extended family as Julius is not as similar to Julia as Julian is. Also, Jules seems a bit closer to Julius than to Julian, both having a final “s”.
I’d go with one of those two options for Jules’ given name.
I saw a lot of comments about Jules being too feminine. Here are my thoughts:
1) I don’t think Jules has a feminine vibe. My first thought is of Jules Verne. I wouldn’t be surprised to meet a woman who is called Jules occasionally, but I would be very suprised to meet a woman or a girl who is actually named Jules. I think it might be similar to Charlie in this regard–used for girls but more strongly associated with boys.
2) I know a girl named Jameson, and I’ve heard it mentioned for girls in other places, (besides Jamie and James being used for girls now) so I don’t think Jules having an occasional association with girls means that these names are a mismatch. In fact, traditional boy names that are sometimes or even more often used on girls is a name style that I quite like for boys (Avery, Quinn, Rory, Logan, Dylan, Jordan) and is pretty mainstream right now.
Julian nn Jules another vote.
If you are looking for other J names my fave suggestion is Jagger. I know a little guy with that name and while it raised some eyebrows at first, it’s totally adorable and works.
Jameson and Jagger.
I also prefer Julian, nickname Jules for Jameson’s brother.
Can’t help but throw out a few suggestions:
Judson, nickname Jude
Joaquin
Joel
All the talk about Julian and Jules being feminine irks me. A. No, they’re not, they’ve been in use for ages. Jules Verne, Jules Feiffer – I did a quick google search and all of the suggestions for “Jules” were male. B. This seems like the classic “gender-neutral names are so edgy and cool on girls, but don’t give your boy a girly name!” meme that drives some of us nuts. My Julia, who goes by Julie everyday, gets called Jules a lot – she is the least girlie girl I know, and it fits her. But that doesn’t make it a feminine name.
I do think that the OP should love the name she chooses for her child, regardless of whether it fits into a limiting tradition or not. If Jules is it, so be it. If they love a non-J name, so be that.
I’m with Kim – name the baby Julian / Jules, and include a list of adoptable-dogs at your BIL’s local shelter along with the birth announcement.
And then name one of your pets after BIL. Maybe a hamster or a ferret or something.