Update (and photo!) on Baby Boy or Girl Van Weer-in-jen!
Update (and photo!) on Baby Boy Hammond, Brother to Everett Paschal and Callum George!
Update on Baby Boy Guyswhite, Brother to Landon and Nolan!

Lauren writes:

We are expecting our 2nd (and last!) child in 6 short weeks and are hoping you might be able to provide us your honest feedback and suggestions when it comes to finding her name. Our 19-month old daughter is Eliza Blakely and we had a relatively easy time deciding on her name, which we absolutely love. It was important to us that we find a classic yet spunky name, and the fact that the ‘E’ could honor someone very special in our family sealed the deal. Blakely is also a family name.

I would love to find another classic name with spunk and/or spunky nickname potential. I tend to like longer names when paired with our short, one-syllable last name of Jane but with a C.

Our leading contender is Lucienne. We would primarily call her Lucie (and I would love to also call her Lux, but my husband says I am alone on that one J). We have no French ties at all however, and I worry that choosing such a French name might then be a bit bizarre. I love the beauty of the name, probably in large part because it reminds me so much of Vivienne (nickname Vivi) which is a long-time favorite of mine, but only mine, if you catch my drift! Other names I like that my husband has vetoed: Vanessa, Charlotte (nickname: Lola), Talia, and Estelle/Estella. Our (only?) other joint contender at this point is Savannah. Like many women in my age group, I have loved this name since seeing the movie Savannah Smiles, and it was our runner-up choice when naming Eliza. Our hesitation in choosing Savannah is that it just doesn’t seem to fit with what I deem our ‘style’, whatever that means! It isn’t a classic name, but more of a modern beauty, and I fear I will end up feeling that it sounds dated and wish I chosen something more timeless like Eliza. I also wish it lent itself to a more obvious nickname.

Okay so that is the dilemma so far…but can we talk middle names too? My mother has been recently diagnosed with an advanced terminal illness. It is very important to me that we find a middle name that can somehow honor my mom, Terry, without using her actual name but perhaps a ‘T’ or some other variable. Currently I am leaning toward Tova (her Hebrew name), but have also flagged Terra or Tessa as possibilities.

That is a lot to chew on I know. Thanks so much for letting us pick your brain and for any name recommendations you can provide!

I think Lucienne works best. Eliza and Lucienne aren’t from the same style category, but they’re not from clashing categories either; and Eliza and Lucy coordinate perfectly. Whether it’s strange to choose a name from another culture depends on similar relationships between categories, and I’d say France and the United States aren’t the same but don’t clash either: Nicole, Danielle, Renee, Denise, and Noelle are all successful imports, and I don’t see any reason Lucienne doesn’t work too.

I agree with you that Savannah seems like a larger style leap.

Would you want to discuss the middle name with your mother, or is the honor a surprise? I’m wondering if she might be extremely touched to be allowed to help choose the name; and since you don’t want to use her actual name, she could give valuable input on what other names would feel like honor names to her. This would also give her more time to enjoy the honor, and a chance to have a long-reaching impact on her new granddaughter’s life.

If you’d rather it be a surprise, I love the idea of Tova. It feels like more of an honor than any other name that starts with T, and it gives you a little of the V-sound from Vivienne/Vivi and Savannah.

K. writes:

I am super anxious because I just found out this morning that I’m being induced tomorrow at 7am and my husband and I can’t agree on a name for our baby girl! We currently have a 2 year-old daughter named Kinley Reese (I just love her name). Our last name is Pitzner. I would like a name for our second daughter that is different but not too off the wall. I also don’t tend to like super girly names but rather tend to like unisex or even boy names for girls – Alex, Dylan, Devan, etc. My husband isn’t as much on board with that though! I just love the name Presley for a girl but he hates it! Some of the names on my list are: Ryan, Devan and Blakely. My husband has mentioned Kylie, Kamryn and Jessa. Please help!

C. writes:

My husband and I are disagreeing about a name. I love the name Simeon, and while he likes it, it is too close to Simon (negative connotations for him) for him. I know it’s only one letter difference, but I feel the names are vastly different. What do you think? I searched the site, and it appears there are no other questions of this sort.

The names Simeon and Simon seem similar enough to me that if someone liked one name but couldn’t use it, I might recommend the other name. They seem different enough that I’d hope their differences were enough to solve the problem: the different number of syllables, the different rhythm, the short vs. long I-sound, and the additional vowel sound in Simeon.

But name similarity is in the eye of the beholder: if your husband thinks of the Simon association every time he hears Simeon, it won’t help to tell him the names are too different for him to do so: he’s already doing so, and isn’t likely to stop even if we were to all agree that they were very different, which we won’t all do. Certainly I’d consider them far too close for sibling names, for example.

For me the larger trouble is the similarity between Simeon and simian. I might instead recommend Silas or Cyrus or Elias or Gideon or Solomon or Leon or Roman or Nolan or Edmund or Eamon or Micah or Josiah or Isaac.

S. writes:

I hope you choose my question, because I am seriously at my wits end. My husband and I are expecting our fourth child, a girl. We are that crazy couple that picked out names before we conceived, and with the first three it worked perfectly. We have Hanna Elise, James Lee (named after both our mothers) and Arty Nathaniel. We decided some time ago that we both liked Abigail, but we never could settle on a middle name. My husband would like to use Abigail as the middle name, still using it as the primary name, and put the secondary name first (he goes by his middle name, Brady, so it is not strange to him, but I really don’t like this suggestion). Our last name Self is so short, that I cannot find a middle name that flows well that we both like. My husband would prefer a one syllable middle name (because our last name is one syllable) if we put Abigail first. His top pick was Livia Abigail Self. It is pretty on paper and flows alright, but I think most people would think Livia was a nickname, AND it still pushes Abigail into weird second place. I like names with lovely meanings, and I would love a soft, gentle, feminine name. My top picks were: Emmeline, Irene, Cora, Rosalie/Rosaline, Amalie, Ella…

I agree with my husband that none of these sound great with Abigail first, but I am having trouble finding soft, feminine, classic yet not boring names with one syllable.

If you could offer any suggestions I would be very grateful!!

Some of your husband’s preferences are puzzling me. I would in fact avoid one-syllable middle names with a one-syllable surname because of the potential for a choppy sound, but that can just be a matter of personal preference. What puzzles me is that he wants a one-syllable middle name only if the first name is Abigail and not if it’s Livia, when Livia and Abigail have the same rhythm; and he’s campaigning to have Abigail, which is not one syllable, used as the middle name. It seems like it’s setting up this kind of loop:

1. Abigail can be in the first-name position, but only with a one-syllable middle name.
2. None of the one-syllable names work.
3. So we have to put the first name in the middle-name position.
4. But you don’t want that, even though your husband does.
5. So you have to look for a one-syllable middle name that works.

It seems that he would like the solution to be “So we have to put Abigail as the middle name.” But you don’t like that idea. So I’d cut through this fruitless cycle by making two new rules for the name search:

1. The first name will be put in the first-name position.
2. The middle name doesn’t have to be only one syllable.

If your husband’s top pick is Livia Abigail Self, then it seems to me like the choice that makes the most sense is to name her Abigail Livia Self, which has the same rhythm but puts the first name more conveniently in the first-name position. Another that would work with a slightly different rhythm is Abigail Olivia Self.

(Before we go any further, I want to make a note that with initials A._.S., I’m going to be avoiding all middle names starting with S.)

With the rhythm of Abigail ______ Self, I also like four-syllable names with the emphasis on the second syllable:

Abigail Cordelia Self
Abigail Elizabeth Self
Abigail Emilia Self
Abigail Felicity Self
Abigail Livinia Self
Abigail Magnolia Self
Abigail Penelope Self
Abigail Veronica Self
Abigail Victoria Self

I disagree that none of the names on your list sound right with Abigail first. Abigail Irene Self, Abigail Emmeline Self, Abigail Rosaline Self—all of those sound good to me. Your surname is a challenging one (especially combined with another strong L-sound in the first name), and unless you’ve found you routinely call your children by all three names, it seems like an issue that comes up during the naming process and not afterward. Mostly she will be either Abigail Self or maybe Abigail MiddleName if that’s something you tend to do in your family, but not Abigail MiddleName Self to anyone except her paperwork.

I also like the sound of 2-syllable middle names with the emphasis on the second syllable (your choice of Irene is perfect for this), but many of them have strong L sounds that seemed like too much L with the first name and surname (Noelle, Lucille), or start with S (Simone), or have too much S-sound with the surname (Cecile), or seem like they belong to an earlier generation (Nicole), or might feel overused as middle names (Marie).

Abigail Celeste Self
Abigail Eileen Self
Abigail Louise Self

If you both agree that one-syllable middle names are best:

Abigail Eve Self
Abigail Jade Self
Abigail Jane Self
Abigail Jean Self
Abigail June Self
Abigail Kaye Self

A few more possibilities:

Abigail Clarissa Self
Abigail Eleni Self
Abigail Eliza Self
Abigail Ellery Self
Abigail Fiona Self
Abigail Josephine Self
Abigail Julia Self
Abigail Katherine Self
Abigail Linnea Self
Abigail Marian Self
Abigail Miranda Self
Abigail Naomi Self
Abigail Rebecca Self
Abigail Violet Self
Abigail Vivienne Self

Update (and photo!) on Baby Boy ______ Dennis Cao Flegal, Brother to Eloise and Annie!

K. writes:

My husband and I are expecting our second boy in June. Our first son is Simon Albert (last name is three syllables and starts with an H). We love the name Simon because it’s a “normal” name, but not incredibly popular. His middle name, Albert, is a family name. We are not fond of names that are super trendy or sound made up, and we tend to lean towards classic names.

Now, the problem…we cannot seem to find the “perfect” name for baby boy #2. We know his middle name will be Scott (family name). My husband loves Sebastian, but I can’t get on board with having sibling names starting with the same letter. Is it too cutesy? I like Jude, but my husband isn’t a fan. We like Isaac, Owen, and James, but all three seem to be pretty high on the popularity lists these days. We also like Oliver, but good friends just used the name for their dog. The names Ian, August, and Ezra have also been some that we have liked but not loved. Theodore is one of our absolute favorites, with the nickname Theo. So here’s the question…if we have a Simon and a Theodore, will everyone automatically think of the chipmunks (you know–Alvin, Simon, and Theodore)? Since we plan on calling the new baby by the nickname Theo, we would probably introduce them as Simon and Theo, which I hope wouldn’t trigger the chipmunks association.

So I’m torn. I want to use Theodore, but I don’t want to spend my whole life answering the question, “Like the chipmunks?” Should I use it anyway? Or toss it out and go with one of our “like but not love” names? Or start from scratch completely?

I’d appreciate an outsider’s perspective!

Oh, dear, I’m afraid I did immediately think of the chipmunks—though not, if it helps, with the kind of “No no no” feeling I’d have if you were considering, say, Romeo and Juliet: The Chipmunks just came to my mind in a rather neutral way. The nickname does help considerably: I don’t think “Simon and Theo” contains any chipmunks for me. The Chipmunks is not a negative association, so I think the thing to consider is how many “What, no Alvin? hur hur hur” jokes you can stand to put up with. Maybe just a few people would say it right after the birth announcements, and then after that the incidents would be few and far between. We got “Like  ______?” a few times after one of our kids was born, but we said “No” a few times and it hasn’t come up since then. And I don’t know how well-known The Chipmunks will be among your children’s peers; perhaps it will not be a problem there, especially since children often don’t know their classmates’ siblings’ names.

You say Theodore is one of your absolute favorites, but then you ask if you should give up the name you love for a name you just like. If Theodore is one of several absolute favorites, then I guess my inclination would be to go with one of the other absolute favorites. If Theodore is the only name you both love, and all the rest are names you only like, then I could go either way: I do think the name would come with The Chipmunks association, but whether that’s a problem or not depends on your own personal tolerances: every name is going to come with a downside or two, so the trick is to choose the ones that bother you less. I doubt it would be a daily hassle, and I’d suspect it would be fairly infrequent—especially if you introduce them as Theo and Simon.

One useful exercise is to pretend that the name Theodore is off the table, or that you’re definitely willing to use it, and then look again at the other name possibilities. A “want but can’t have” name can sometimes make parents feel as if they don’t even WANT to consider other names. It may still turn out that Theodore is the only name you love, but it could also happen that when you take it off the list or decide to go ahead and use it, other names will rise to your attention. I don’t think you should use a name you just like instead of one you love, but I do think you should look for more names you love.

Are you planning to have more children? One possibility is to gamble on having another boy later. Simon, Sebastian, and Theo completely eliminates chipmunks for me. This option depends on how much you think you will regret not using the name if there isn’t in fact another chance to use it, and that can be hard to predict: sometimes by the time we’re naming the next baby our favorites have changed, and sometimes not.

If you’re mostly planning to call him Theo, I wonder if you would like Milo or Leo or Hugo or Matteo? Or you could name him Theo: it’s a stand-alone name as well as a nickname for Theodore.

While three or more siblings with matching initials does seem to fall into the Cute category, just two matched siblings doesn’t for me. The other day I mentioned how I only noticed the name issues of my friends’ children when I actively turned my mind to it—and one of the issues I noticed was a two-child family where both names started with the same letter. It hadn’t even caught my attention before then, let alone seemed overly cute. The main issue, I think, is whether it would make you feel like you had to keep going with the same initial: we’ve had so many letters from parents who have used the same first initial twice and now feel that pressure when naming a third.

Another tactic I might suggest is to be slower to cross names off the list. Every name will have something non-ideal about it, so if you love a name, I’d reconsider whether it matters to you that some friends used the name for their dog, or that a name has a somewhat higher popularity ranking than another name. Some of these things will indeed be important to you, but others might fall right down as soon as you apply the “Does this ACTUALLY matter to us, or not?” question. Simon and Oliver seem like an ideal match to me, and the dog will only be an issue for a limited number of years. Simon and Isaac also seem great, and although Isaac has been in the Top 100 for nearly 20 years, I’ve only encountered a single one in any of my children’s classes/activities.

Update (and photo!) on Baby Girl Carsons-with-a-P, Sister to Sydney Paige!
Update (and photo!) on Baby Girl McFew, Sister to Levi Harper!