Allyson writes:
How do you know if you LOVE a name versus thinking you love a name? Sort of like when you’re 13 you LOVE your boyfriend but your parents know it’s puppy love and in another couple of years you won’t even remember his name? My husband and I are trying for #2 soon. We thought we had a boy name picked out – Colton – but I’m over it. It’s just very blah to me now. We have another boy name picked out (Tucker), but I don’t know if I love it….or if I love it right now and in 10 years will wish I had chosen something else. Or first son is Barrett, a name I stumbled on before I was even pregnant. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.
Oh, and if you have any names in the Barrett – Colton – Tucker genre I’d love to hear those as well. Or last name is Clark so it wipes out some of my favorites (like Blake and Cole).
Thanks!
“How do you know if you love a name?” is a question I’d answer in this case with another question: How did you know with your first son’s name? For some people, they know they love a name when they feel like they can’t let it go; for other people, the name feels like it clicks into place; for still others, they know when no other name seems better. And some people never DO know: they run out of time and have to choose one of several good options.
It’s true that some parents later regret a choice—but in most cases, putting the name on the birth certificate seems to freeze it into place. We’d chosen a girl name for our first two pregnancies (both boys), and when we actually had a girl we no longer wanted to use the name—but if we’d had a girl earlier and HAD used the name, I don’t think we would have become similarly bored with it. Once you use the name, it gets linked firmly to the child: the name is no longer “a name,” it’s “this beloved person.” If there are any regrets about the name, they tend to be minor and have more to do with things other than the name itself: for example, a family may regret that a name got so popular or wish they’d loved something less popular, but that doesn’t mean they would actually like to choose a different name for the child.
It’s nice that there’s typically a period of time (during pregnancy, or while waiting for a child to be adoptable) for trying out names before the final decision needs to be made. I found I had several names that rose to the top during the choosing process and then fell right back down—puppy-love names. Or I had names that I would have thought pre-pregnancy would be contenders, but as soon as an actual baby was on the way, the names didn’t feel right anymore. Other names endured—which is not to say I never had doubts (in the hospital I was still fretting about my daughter’s name, and I wish we’d known a name we used for one of our sons was Top 10 in our state even though it was in the 30s nationally), but rather that the name lasted long enough for me to be fairly sure it was at least on the list of names that would be good choices for the baby.
Two of my favorite surname names are Wilson and Miller. Similar to Tucker (but with fewer potential word-confusion issues) is Turner. Similar to Colton are Colter and Coleman and Colby and Lincoln and Nicholson and Keegan and Collins.
Tanner
My husband wanted to name our last child Corinne. I didn’t like the name at all. But it was our 5th child and his turn to pick out the first name. Now that she is here (4yrs old now) I couldn’t imagine her as anything else. I love that name. Other people love that name. it’s just perfect. I think you will find that will happen with your own child too.
I love the name Dalton and Bennett for boys. Although before Corinne was ever born we had Jace Cameron (Cameron as a middle name) picked out for our boy. Now that I am pregnant again we were hoping to use that name. I am having another girl, so that name is out again but, like you I’m over Jace. It is way too popular now.
You could use Jace Cameron for a girl
I don’t know if it’s more popular regionally, but here in Philly I’ve never heard of a single Jace! Not one. Jayden/Jaden? Yup! But no Jaces yet.
Good luck on your name hunt!
No advice on “when do you know”, just that it’s okay not to be feeling like you’ve been struck by lightning :) It’s like anything right, sometimes you fall in love quickly and sometimes love takes time for love to grow. Both experiences are valid and real.
I would classify your name taste as being somewhat cowboy/rancher/strong man names. Some ideas, that I think might go well with Clark
Cody
Weston
Harlan
Travis
Terrell
Carver
Corbett
Russell
Emmett
Trevor
Truett
Carson
Whittaker
Cooper
Charlton
I personally love the sound of Barrett & Cooper Clark
Ooh, I love Barrett and Cooper!
With me, I went through a bunch of emotions for each of my 3 kids’ names. My husband vetoed several and agreed to several but in the end I was the one who really fell in love with names. Funny thing is, I had some name regret with each name BEFORE naming the child, a period where I kept finding myself coming back to a singular name, hearing it in the back of my mind, attaching it to my child to be, trying to block it out and carefully research other options, and finally giving in somewhat begrudgingly that this was really the name this particular child was meant to have. I’m a name overload person, think 100’s of names written down to carefully look over for each of my kids, always originally overlooking the name we ended up on and then suddenly it just clicks in place and that’s it, no matter how many other names we look at. Once the name is on a child, though, it is no longer a possibility, no longer just a name on paper. It’s my child’s name, and I could have named them like Bob or Fluffy or Squiggle and I’d still love it because it’s my kid’s name. My point here is, if the name feels right it feels right, and you are naming *this* kid now, not the kid you would have had if you had been naming him a year or two ago. I’ve fallen in love with all our boy/girl possibility names and nixed all of them for the next child. The child they could have named (such as a first-child-girl) wasn’t there, and if the name didn’t feel fitting for the next child then it wasn’t the right name for that individual child. Good luck :)
My husband picked our first daughter’s name, and even though he picked the first and middle of my own grandmother, I still wasn’t in love with it. I wanted to use it to honor her, but it just wasn’t my favorite. It did take me quite a while to warm up to it, even after she was born, but now (she is 4) I absolutely love it, I think it is the cutest name ever, and am so, so glad that we used it. With my second, we had a name picked out my whole pregnancy, and then when she was born it just didn’t fit her. I agree with Swistle, I think once your child has that name you will fall in love with it because it is attached to your child. I would go to the hospital with several options that I at least liked and then wait and see how I felt once I saw the baby.
Tara, your comment actually put me more at ease about my own situation. I caved and let me husband know he could have his top pick for a boy should we have one, mostly because he feels so incredibly strongly about it and I’m just sort of on the fence. He loves my great grandfather’s name, first and middle and even though I know he was a great guy and a worthy honor, I’m having a hard time picturing this “man” name on a little guy. I keep telling myself he’ll be a man longer than he’ll be a kid and probably appreciate such a strong name steeped in history!
As to the question posed, I think it is safe to say that your feelings towards each child’s name, and the approach you use to get to them will vary wildly. I had my somewhat unusual girl name picked out since the third grade and amazingly my husband loved it too. Then our relatives used it. I had no idea how I’d ever find a replacement for this pedestaled name, but within about a week we had the “ofcourse, that’s her name!” moment with an entirely different family name. For our boy choices, it’s all over the place every few days. I have suggested probably ten serious contenders and we’ve shuffled the combinations around, and we keep coming back to one that seems to be the best solution. Not a “aha! that’s it!” name but a really good solid choice. If you can find even something you both agree on you’ve done well. And as everyone’s said, when you assign it to your child and it begins to grow with them, the love will come.
One addition- Crosby! Barrett & Crosby Clark :)
It seems surnames appeal to you. Are there any meaningful ones in your family tree you’d like to use? If you changed your name when you married, does your maiden name work, or your mother’s or grandmother’s maiden name? Or how about Colby, Mason, or Tyler?
I knew at different times for both of my kids that I’d found “the name.” I agree with Swistle, that I’ve fallen more in love with both names as my kids have gotten older. Having the names belong to real people helps form a bond that just isn’t there with a name that is still for a hypothetical baby.
I like Barrett & Tucker a lot, better than Colton. Though I do wonder if Tucker isn’t too close to F__cker. It is a classic, so perhaps I’m just overly worried about teasing. Other names that have a similar feel to me are Tanner, Archer, Fletcher, Gavin, Everett & Clayton.
I really like your son’s name Barrett and think Tucker or Colton would make a great brother’s name!
Some other suggestions that sounded like the same style (in my head) and go well with Barrett and your surname:
*Romer (Barrett & Romer Clark)
*Asher (Barrett & Asher Clark)
*Holden (Barrett & Holden Clark)
*Ramsey (Barrett & Ramsey Clark)
Names that I think go with Barrett:
Emerson (although I should add I have heard this name nearly exclusively used for girls here in my midwest state)
Adler
Tanner
Holden
Grant
Clayton
For me it was a case of finding a name I liked and my husband wouldn’t veto and not being able to think of a name I liked more.
Cotton? It sounds great, actually. http://nameberry.com/babyname/Cotton
Your post made me smile because our last name is also Clark! I love the name Barrett, it complements Clark very well. Love swistle’s suggestion of Lincoln but we always joke and say haha Lincoln Clark, Lincoln Park like the band. I would like to make one more suggestion, how about Keaton? Similar Colton, sounds great with Clark and not overly popular. Barrett Clark, Keaton Clark. For the names that don’t work well with the last name, like Blake, you can always use them on a pet, our puppy is Blake!
Colton is a pretty trendy name right now along with Keagan and those like that. Cooper is a great name and match for Barrett. Other possibilities include Spencer, Jackson, Davis, Sutton, Porter, Carter, Manning, Owen and Evan. Best of luck with your decision!
Calvin Clark!
Once I “found” the name of our first daughter, I absolutely loved it. I even remember feeling as if she was “asking” for that name from the womb! With our second daughter, no such naming magic happened. We felt just so-so about nearly everything, and finally settled on a name (Catherine) that just didn’t seem to fit her in the least once she was born. We spent a couple of days reviewing our list, and ended up choosing another name entirely, one we only liked but just seemed to really fit her. Needless to say, the name totally grew on us as our daughter grew and the name became her name–just as Swistle says happens.
There are so many great suggestions coming in, and with the surname Clark, it’s hard to see how you can go wrong. The only caveat being that if you are uncomfortable with unisex names, do check out the social security stats on your final choices to see if any of them are starting to be poached for girls. Oh–and I’d add Easton to the suggestions. Good luck!
I like:
Cody
Carter
Calvin
Cameron
Camden
Jace
Wyatt (maybe too close to Barett)
Samson
Austin
Asher
Holden
Owen
Evan
Everett
Emerson
Trevor
Taylor
Cooper
we are currently expecting our first child. before getting pregnant, we both loved a name that is really unisex but we kept thinking of using it for a girl only. we even discussed using it for a boy and both said we didn’t like it much on a boy.
then we learned we were having a boy. i had zero names on my list i loved. i went through countless lists, naming charts of foreign countries etc etc and found a bunch of “maybes” but nothing definite.
i let the question rest for a while and found myself returning to that unisex name. i compared it to the “maybes” on my list and found that it trumped each one of them. so i brought it up to my partner again and suddenly, with that resting time in between, we thought differently of using this name for a boy.
we tried it out for a few weeks (referring to the baby using this name) and found it felt completely natural, not awkward at all.. so i think it is just the “right” name for this child, regardless of the gender. this would be my long-winded answer to the question “how do you know if you love a name or think you love a name”.
I have four kids and have definitely gone through a period with each of them where I hated their names. I feel lucky that my husband was able to talk me down and remind me how much we loved them in the beginning. That said, I love the name Tucker, one of the cutest and most fun boys in my high school was named Tucker.
Some of these are repeats, but do you like:
Travis
Roscoe
Trevor
Trenton
Logan
Corbin
Kessler
Bruce
Barrett and Corbin Clark is my favorite sibset from the list. Best wishes to you and your growing family!