Erin writes:

I’m Erin and my husband Hayden and I are expecting twin girls after years of TTC. The girls are due on the 28th of February, but in reality they could come much earlier than that, so I would really like to get their names sorted out. However my husband and I can’t agree on names!

The only name that we both love (I have always loved it) is Sophia. I am pretty set on it, but we have a dog named Ciara. Do you think that Sophia and Ciara are too similar?

We have decided that the girls middle names will be Jane and Isobel after family members, but we will just sort that out later.

Anyway, we want a name that:
– Does not end in an ‘a’ or an ‘uh’ sound.
– Does not start with an E, H, C or S.
– Sounds good with either Isobel or Jane as the middle name.
– Is not misspelled, masculine or ‘trendy’ (like Camryn).
– Sounds good with Sophia.

We don’t care about the popularity of the name, but we want a name that is similar in popularity to Sophia (ie. We would prefer something like Alyssa [but we can’t use that] over something like Audrina).

Names we have considered/like but are out are:
– Isabella
– Ava
– Madeleine
– Mia
– Chloe
– Olivia
– Audrey

Oh and our last name is similar to McKenzie.

 
No, I don’t think Ciara and Sophia are too similar.

Your “out” list is devastating, because most of those are the very names I’d suggest. Sophia and Isobel would be perfect, for example: similarly common but similarly exotic; same number of letters and syllables; so good with your surname. One of the few remaining in the Top 10 is Emma, but that starts with E and ends with A.

It would be helpful to know whether the restrictions (starting letters, ending sounds) are actual restrictions or just preferences in search of the ideal. Are you trying not to repeat the parents’ initials as well as not repeating the children’s? And are you trying not to repeat the DOG’S initial? And so very many girl names end with -a, especially the ones that are a similar level of femininity to Sophia. It seems like you could be unnecessarily eliminating huge groups of names that might contain a name you’d love enough to be willing to compromise on the beginning or ending.

It would also be helpful to know how set you were on those middle names if you found a first name you LOVED that didn’t work with either of them. In general I think it’s significantly easier to choose the first names FIRST, then go looking for middle names that work with them.

[Note: I initially ended at this point, because I considered the restrictions too…restricty…to work with. But then I thought maybe I was just too tired, and I should try again in the morning. So the first two comments in the comments section on this post are BEFORE my suggestions: if I make a suggestion and they appear to be re-making it, it’s that they hadn’t yet read anything after this point.]

Names that work with your restrictions (no E, H, C, or S; no ending in -a or similar sound):

Abigail McKenzie; Sophia and Abigail
Alice McKenzie; Sophia and Alice
Annabel McKenzie; Sophia and Annabel
Grace McKenzie; Sophia and Grace
Lillian McKenzie; Sophia and Lillian
Lily McKenzie; Sophia and Lily
Louise McKenzie; Sophia and Louise
Lucy McKenzie; Sophia and Lucy
Molly McKenzie; Sophia and Molly
Natalie McKenzie; Sophia and Natalie
Noelle McKenzie; Sophia and Noelle
Rose McKenzie; Sophia and Rose
Ruby McKenzie; Sophia and Ruby
Violet McKenzie; Sophia and Violet
Zoe McKenzie; Sophia and Zoe

Names that break some or many of your restrictions but I want to mention them anyway:

Catherine McKenzie; Sophia and Catherine
Cecily McKenzie; Sophia and Cecily
Charlotte McKenzie; Sophia and Charlotte
Claire McKenzie; Sophia and Claire
Clarissa McKenzie; Sophia and Clarissa
Elena McKenzie; Sophia and Elena
Elise McKenzie; Sophia and Elise
Eliza McKenzie; Sophia and Eliza
Ella McKenzie; Sophia and Ella
Eloise McKenzie; Sophia and Eloise
Hailey McKenzie; Sophia and Hailey
Hope McKenzie; Sophia and Hope
Lila McKenzie; Sophia and Lila
Marissa McKenzie; Sophia and Marissa

Some of these are not really in the same popularity ballpark as Sophia, but I tried to stay with names that felt more popular than they were. For example, I’m always surprised at the ratings of Catherine and Eliza, because they feel much more common than they are.

For the most part I disregarded the dog’s name.

Updated question! Erin writes:

I wrote to you not too long ago about naming my twin daughters. I’m the one who had all of the ‘restrictions’ LOL, I’m sorry I was such a hassle! But anyway thanks for answering it, as we have decided on names! However, now that we have decided on first names, we are struggling to decide which baby should have which middle name.

So the girls are going to be Lily and Sophia. We have the name Jane and Isobel chosen, but my problem is that I love Lily Jane and Sophia Isobel, but then I feel as though Lily Jane is sweet and short, and Sophia Isobel is beautiful and long. I don’t mind Lily Isobel and Sophia Jane, but I don’t like the sound of Lily Isobel as much.

Does Lily Jane and Sophia Isobel sound okay for twin sisters?

Name update! Erin writes:

I am happy to announce that the girls were born on the 2nd of Feb, and are doing wonderful!

Now for their names. After reading the responses from my second question, I was sure that the girls would be Sophia Isobel and Lily Jane. A couple of days before they were born I just fell out of love with Lily (mind you, this was after we had ordered letters for their names for the nursery). I read over my question, Swistle’s answer, and everyone’s comments, THEN I made my hubby do the same ;-) However we then both decided on a name for Sophia’s sister, and we are very happy with it!

So, the girls are Sophia Jane and Grace Isobel. We are calling Sophia, Sophia, and Grace, Gracie. We are in love with our Sophia and Gracie, and I believe they are the perfect names for them!

Thank you everyone for helping us!

Michelle writes:

My husband and I are discussing names, and this is what has happened:

I LOVE a name. He is “meh” on it or slightly ok with it, but seeing how much I LOVE the name (for the record, it’s Joel, and he knew a kid in 5th grade that was a jerk with that name – who cares, right?) he says “ok, fine, we can use it.”

I feel BAD about this because hello! It’s our childs name! I want us to both LOVE the name equally! But at the same time, I also want to use it!

So when does one spouse win over the other, and when is it ok to go alright, I love this name and we can’t find another that we love, so let’s use it and let it grow on us when the adorable baby comes along and we forget about stupid 5th graders from 25 years ago.

(Also for the record, we both agreed upon and LOVED our daughters name.)

Thanks for your help and any advice!!!!

This is so hard. I don’t know, really, how two people EVER find a name they both love, even though it happens time and time again, including in my very own family.

Here’s what I’ve noticed: some people feel more strongly about names than other people. There are people like my in-laws, who never glanced at a baby name book: one of them just said, “What about Paul? We need a boy’s name, and that’s a boy’s name,” and the other one said “Sure.” Then there are people like me, making lists on the inside covers of baby name books years before a pregnancy was on the horizon.

Paul is somewhere in the middle: he’s more opinionated than his parents, but he’s not anywhere NEAR as invested/interested as I am. He’d rather take my list and make a checkmark next to any name that would be fine with him. This can be frustrating for me, because I want him to LOVVVVVVVVVVVVE a name and be all EXCITED about it, but I think sometimes he DOES really like a name but doesn’t have my same SQUEEE feeling about it—just as I might appreciate a new computer in the house but don’t get all EXCITED about it like he does. So, just as I let him have more say in computer decisions because he’s the one who cares more, I try to let it be okay that he lets me have more say in baby name decisions—even though I’d prefer him to be more excited. (And it would be worse if he WERE excited about names, but about DIFFERENT names than I liked!) But it’s especially difficult in this situation for you, because your husband DID love a name the first time around.

Have you heard that Voltaire quote? I’ve seen it translated a number of ways (“Better is the enemy of Good,” “Perfection is the enemy of Good Enough,” “The downfall of Good is Better,” etc.), but the gist of it is that insisting on perfection can really screw things up. I think of that quote whenever parents write to me agitating because they’ve found lots of great names but none of them have been “The One”: the obvious PERFECT candidate standing apart from all the rest, different than all the others, with both parents LOVING the name with ALL THEIR HEARTS. In this case, Joel is the Good. It would be ideal if the name were one that both you and your husband feel like you’ll DIE if you can’t use it (especially if that happened with your daughter’s name), but that’s not a goal you have to try to achieve: finding a name that one of you loves and the other one likes well enough to use it is already a big win. Changing to a name you both feel equally meh about wouldn’t be an improvement.

But I am always in favor of continuing to quest: name-questing is fun! And because this quest has a natural expiration date, you don’t have to worry that it will go on forever with no resolution. So if I were you I’d continue to look for a name you DO both love (you could still use Joel as the middle name), just to see if such a name exists—and have the plan be to name the baby Joel if you DON’T find such a name. Paul and I have had two babies where we had a name we were planning to use (a “one of us loves it, the other one is fine/willing” name), and then late in the pregnancy we found another name we both liked better. Not a magical name with The Star of Bethlehem hanging over it, but an improvement for both of us.

Ooo, in fact, that’s a good way to think of it: as each name having a score from each parent, and the goal being to find a balance that maximizes both the individual parental scores AND the name’s total score—WITHOUT insisting on a Perfect Ten. Just trying to improve the score as much as it can be improved for the particular situation. (Two of my favorite things: baby names and MATH!) With our daughter, Paul’s first choice was Elizabeth, so he would have given it 10 points; his second choice was Genevieve, which he would have given 8 points. Of those two, I would have given Genevieve 8 points and Elizabeth 5 points. I liked Emily and Liana each 9 points; Paul liked each of them 3 points. So for us, the right name of those four would have been Genevieve: it gave us the best possible pair of individual scores (i.e., each of us could have gotten a higher score with a different name, but only at the significant expense of the other parent), and that’s what we almost certainly would have used except this was one of the situations where late in the pregnancy we then found a name we both liked better.

I have been totally hogging the floor, and this is a subject that’s opinion-variation-rich and PERFECT for discussion. Michelle and I would like to hear what the rest of you think, and how the rest of you deal with it if you and the other parent have trouble finding a name you both love.

Name update! Michelle writes:

Joel Michael was born 4/28/11, 8lbs 20 inches, and is PERFECT – we love the name and there are definitely no lingering feelings of one of us having “won.”

Katie writes:

I have wanted to write to you for about a month, but I’ve put it off every time thinking I am surely capable of naming my own child. Yet, here I am two days away from my due date and we are still at a total loss. So, I find myself in the position of having to sheepishly ask your opinion in this, the eleventh hour. Hopefully, you can help us out before baby arrives!

We are expecting our third child, a girl, on January 8. We have two boys, Daniel Henry, and Peter Michael. My full name is Catherine, but I go by Katie to most people in my life. My husband is Henry. Our last name is two syllables, Cor**n. We had no trouble at all naming our boys. We made lists, placed the names in the order of our preference, and it turned out that we both liked the same names the best. Daniel and Peter were our clear favorites from the beginning and we waited until each was born to make sure the name chosen suited them. Our third place name was James, but Peter just suited him beautifully, so we went with it.

We are having so much trouble, though, with girl names. We made the lists and ranked them in order of preference. The trouble is that every time we look at the list, we have different preferences. Worst of all, sometimes I just love them all too much to decide between them. Other times I dislike them all equally and find none of them suitable for my daughter. I’m hoping I can offer you our list and get some opinions. We’ve never needed opinions before, but given the fact that we’ve actually gone back and started to look at new names entirely, maybe it’s time to call in the reinforcements.

Here is our current list in our current order of preference:

Meredith
Abigail
Elizabeth (I really like this name, and love the nn Ellie for it, but my husband is not really on board)
Eleanor (We both love this name, and it gives us our nn Ellie, but I’m not sure it goes well with our last name. The common “or” sound bothers me a little. Henry doesn’t seem to mind it, though, and its beginning to grow on me)
Alice (a beloved aunt)
Ellie (the nickname we love on its own, but I really prefer having a longer, more formal name for myself, and I am projecting that desire onto my child. But, if this is a serious enough name on its own, then maybe I should consider it?)
Grace
Amelia
Cecilia

We have also today begun to explore the possibility of Elise, which would also give us the nickname Ellie. I don’t like it as much as Elizabeth, and Henry doesn’t like it as much as Eleanor. So, its a compromise. But, I’d hate to think that we’d settle for a name that neither of us likes just to get the nickname we like. Especially when Ellie is a pretty decent standalone name.

My worst fear is that we will name the baby and end up with name regret because we are so unsure of ourselves now. Help!

Alice. Absolutely I would choose Alice. Not only is it wonderful with Daniel and Peter, and wonderful with Cor__n, it’s a family name—and the name of a BELOVED family member to boot.

Well, but I also love Meredith. I think it’s wonderful and underused. So that’s a good one too. I like Meredith Eleanor Cor___n.

Ellie is not traditionally a nickname for Elizabeth. However, I’ve noticed more and more people are doing it as they search for a way to get to the nickname Ellie. Perhaps soon it WILL be a traditional nickname for Elizabeth.

I think of Ellie as a nickname, but of Elle and Ella as full names. Elle Cor__n or Ella Cor__n would be pretty, and you could call her Ellie either way.

I love Eliza even more: Eliza Cor__n; Daniel, Peter, and Eliza. Or Eloise? Eloise Cor__n; Daniel, Peter, and Eloise.

A name that was completely off my radar until a friend’s sister used it is Elsa. The baby in question was Elsa Jane, which is lovely with your surname: Elsa Jane Cor__n; Daniel, Peter, and Elsa.

A name I’ve loved since before I had children is Elodie. It’s like Ellie with more substance. I used to think I’d use it with the middle name Jane: Elodie Jane Cor__n; Daniel, Peter, and Elodie. Not a perfect style mesh with Daniel and Peter, but I generally think it’s fine to have a boy/girl style split in a family.

Cecilia makes me break into song, but Cecily has a similar sound with no singing. Cecily Cor__n; Daniel, Peter, and Cecily. I love that. Maybe Cecily Meredith Cor__n?

I will stop playing now and turn this over to the commenters to get things going as soon as possible.

Name update! Katie writes:

Baby girl Cor–n has arrived! Our daughter, Alice Catherine, was born on July 10. We are so thankful for all the help you and your readers gave us. Seeing your responses reminded us that we have other beautiful names, besides Ellie, that we both love equally. And, that was ultimately more important than getting just the right nickname. We decided to focus on our other names and had it down to either Alice or Meredith. It turns out she looks just like an Alice. Plus, we couldn’t go wrong naming our daughter after a wonderful woman who was so loved.

We’ll keep Meredith in our back pockets just in case we decide to try for baby #4!

Thank you so much!

Meg writes:

Please help name Our baby boy he is due 10th feb,surname E***n.
We have Four main contenders, though suggestions are very welcome!
Our list currently stands at
Noah
Evan
Ted (this would be his full name as opposed to edward of theodore)
Myles

We like slightly less common names but my partner doesn’t like anything to out there and wouldn’t let me use
Atticus
Ernest
Dexter

We would like him to have the middle name jacob
As a middle name as its a family name, I like the idea of two middle names
Though and had considered
Alfie
fyfe
Arther
Jasper
As possible 2nd middle names to go before jacob.
So the question really is which (if any!) First name/middle name
Combo would you say sounds best and if you think there all clearly terrible ideas and my hormones are playing tricks on me then what should I go for?
Many thanks for your time and much needed help!

 
My favorite is Evan Jacob E____n, unless Evan E___n sounds odd with the same starting/ending letters, in which case my favorite is Miles Jacob E___n. I’d spell it Miles, not only because I prefer that spelling but because changing to a Y is a typical way to feminize a name. If you decide to use two middle names, I like Arthur best. Would your partner be okay with one of your more uncommon favorites as a second middle name?

Name update! Meg writes:

You guys helped a ton and I agreed with your choices …. OH had other ideas though! I am pleased to announce that Noah Alfie Jacob E___n was born on the 31st Jan at 1 am. Im going to keep all your name help as suggestions for the future.
Thank you again for your comments and help.

Maria writes:

I am pregnant with baby #3 (due in early February) and have never been so stressed about naming. It really does get harder each time, so it’s good that we’re planning on this being our last.

My family is mostly Italian and Greek. My husband is from England. Our daughter is named Eleni Nicole and our son is Rhys James. So far, one Greek and one Welsh name. I’m expecting a baby girl and would prefer to give her an Italian first name, although loving the name is more important than the background.

Some names that I’ve been throwing around are:

Caterina
Lucia
Chiara
Melina (nn Millie after my grandmother), but that’s another Greek name

I also love the name Caia and have considered naming her Caterina with Caia as a nickname. Does that seem like too much of a stretch? I loved Eleni’s name for years before we had her. The only other name I’ve crushed on that far back is Caia but I can’t decide whether I prefer having the more formal Caterina as a given name with possible nicknames like Caia, Carina, Cat, Rina, etc……

The kids have been referring to her as Caterina Lucia which I liked for a while but am doubting now. Not sure if it’s too sing songy. E&R both have an “ethnic” first name and a more traditional name. Not sure Lucia in the middle matches Nicole and James.

I like Chiara but worry about the lack of nicknames. The only one I can think of is Kiki which isn’t my favorite.

Lucia is gorgeous but I think pronunciation will be an issue and I’m not sure whether I prefer loo-CHEE-ah or LOO-sha. Plus Leni and Lucy is pretty rhymey.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the names. Our last name is Freedman (without the D). My name is Maria and my husband is Joel.

A final consideration is that my kids usually go by Leni (pronounced like Laney) and Rhys. Do Leni, Rhys and Caia “match”? Do any of the others sound better as a sibling set? I am open to any and all suggestions, both for first and middle names.

Thank you for considering us, I would love some feedback.

And:

My grandfather died last week. His name was Joseph, and I think I’d like to use Josephine as a middle name in his honor.

I’d like to hear opinions on names that would work well. I still really like the name Caia but wonder if it’s too short or nicknamey?

Thank you in advance for your thoughts.

And:

I am so sorry to write again but I have one last update for your consideration. This naming business is making me crazy!

My kids keep calling the baby “Cataweena” which is really making me lean toward naming her Caterina, with possible nicknames of Caia, Carina or Cat. In talking to my sister who is about to marry and was very close to our grandfather who passed away, she likes the idea of using Joseph for one of her children. Since my son’s middle name is already after my father, I’m happy with “saving” Josephine for her to use in the future.

So….Caterina Lucia (my daughter’s choice) still seems a little singsongy to me, not sure about that. I would consider any suggestions you and your readers can offer. I think that Eleni, Rhys and Caterina go together pretty well, but not sure that Lucia fits with Nicole and James? Or whether that really even matters, to be honest.

My husband isn’t crazy about Chiara or Lucia as first names, so I think they’re out. I still love Melina, but came across the fact that melena is a medical term with a pretty gross meaning which holds me back, plus he doesn’t really like it anyway.

So I think Caterina will be her name. Can you help with the middle name?

Thanks so much, I apologize for my dithering!

 
No apologies for dithering/updating! I like to be able to answer an up-to-date question. I feel so sorry for the parents who write me in, say, June, and then their due-date group isn’t worked on until December—probably all their list is changed by then!

Let’s see if I can answer all the questions!

1. My opinion is that Caia is too much of a stretch as a nickname for Caterina: it’s a completely unrelated stand-alone name. “Formal names” are useful when the nickname is the desired name but doesn’t seem right/enough as a given name—so the parents choose Charles instead of Charlie, for example, or Katherine instead of Kate. Caterina, though, is the formal name for Cat and Cate, not for Caia. For Caia, Caterina is just “a longer name, also starting with C.”

2. I don’t think either Caterina Lucia or Caia Lucia are too sing-songy. In fact, I’m very partial to that kind of sound in names.

3. I also like the pronunciation lu-SEE-ah. But if you’re trying for an Italian name, my first choice is lu-CHEE-ah to reflect that.

4. I admit to being swayed by the kids calling the baby Catarina—but the parents get first choice on the name, and the kids will soon call her whatever you name her, and just as cutely too.

5. While I too like sibling names to coordinate, I don’t think you need to worry at all about the middle names not being perfectly coordinated. Middle names can be chosen for a variety of reasons, and so it’s common for them to NOT coordinate (e.g., even if all three names were namesake names, the namesakes are likely to have had names that don’t match at all stylistically).

6. I think Eleni/Leni, Rhys, and Caia sound like a good sibling group. I also think Eleni/Leni, Rhys, and Caterina sound like a good sibling group.

Everyone you ask will of course have their own set of answers to your questions. But my main opinion is that you should name your daughter the name you love, which is Caia—and not try to stretch it to some other name just because of the number of letters. Rhys is the same number of letters as Caia, but it wasn’t necessary to search for a much longer name starting with R and then try to use Rhys as a nickname for it: you just named him Rhys. Since Eleni also goes by a four-letter nickname, the name Caia is if anything a better sibling-name fit than Caterina. If, however, you PREFER the name Caterina, I think you should use Caterina. In either case, I think Lucia is the perfect middle name.

Name update! Maria writes:

Thank you and your readers for chiming in on my panicky naming confusion. After all the obsessing for months about the same few names, she ended up being named something completely different.

Isla Catherine was born February 7th. My husband suggested the name a few days before she was born and it just clicked. I’ve attached a photo of our little Isla…..

Anne writes:

My husband and I are expecting our first child in early February 2011. We don’t know the sex, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it’s a boy. This is a bit of a problem, since we are all set for girls names, but can’t come up with anything boy-friendly.

My family is French Canadian, and I really want our children to have names that work in both French and English. We are hyphenating our last names, with my name coming second, so the baby’s last name will be Coe-Thériault.

The only name that I’ve come up with that I like is Emile, but my husband says that it makes him think of a little boy in a sailor suit, which to me sounds kind of adorable, but apparently not to him. He prefers Charles, but I’m not too keen on that. Other possibilities that we’ve thought of have been Henry, Felix, Lucien and Theodore. The baby’s middle name will be Ernest, after my grandfather.

Any suggestions? I would love to hear them!

And:

So Charles is pretty much out (I think that my husband has come around to the fact that I’m not going to love it). I still love Emile, but I find that a lot of English-speaking people aren’t familiar with it and might have a hard time pronouncing it. Also, I worry that he (if it is a he!) will end up being called Emily. So right now the main two we’re considering are Theodore and Isaac.

So my question is basically fourfold – is Emile awful? Or am I over-thinking this? Is Theodore (n.n. Theo) super dorky? I’m worried he might get teased. Is Isaac too popular? We’d like to avoid anything over-used. Do you have any other suggestions?

Also, it occurred to me that it might be helpful if I explained how to pronounce our last name. Coe is like Co. (as in Tiffany & Co.) and Thériault is like the back half of Ontario.

Thank you!

 
Emile definitely isn’t awful—but I agree with you that it’s too much like Emily for the U.S. (especially with creative spellings so common). Not IMPOSSIBLY so, but I’d avoid it. I think the spelling Emil works better, but maybe that ruins it in French?

Theodore definitely isn’t too dorky, and it’s coming into style nicely (that is, it’s rising just a little, so the name won’t seem weird, but it’s not rising in a rapid, worrying way), and the nickname Theo is great. My main hesitation is that Theo Coe-Thériault is so rhymey: theO cO tariO. Maybe Sebastien instead? Sebastien Ernest Coe-Thériault.

Isaac, Henry, and Felix are three of my favorite boy names. Isaac is currently the most popular of all the possibilities: #40 in the U.S. in 2009, according to the Social Security Administration, but I think of #40 as a very nice place for a name (especially a boy name) to be: familiar but not EVERYWHERE. The C in Isaac runs together a little with the C in Coe, but not so much as to be a deal-breaker—just enough to want to consider it beforehand.

Henry is next-most-popular at #71. Felix is the biggest risk at #339: I’ve noticed when considering it on my own lists that the generation before us finds it shocking—but then, they find the name Henry shocking, too. (Heh—this suddenly reminds me of my late mother-in-law, who would complain that people weren’t using NORMAL names anymore, names like [list of names in the top ten when she and/or her own children were born].)

Another possibility is Pascal. Blaise Pacal is a cool sciencey-mathy namesake, and since he was French I assume his name works well in French. Pascal Ernest Coe-Thériault.

With the rest of the name, I think my favorite is Henry. Henry Coe-Thériault, Henry Ernest Coe-Thériault.

I’ll leave other suggestions to people who know which names work in French.

Name update! Anne writes:

I am writing to give you and the commenters on your blog a huge THANK YOU for your help. Theodore Ernest Joseph Coe-Thériault made his appearance three weeks early, on January 17th. Theodore was seriously the only name that ended up being able to agree on, and I’m glad we chose it, because Theo really suits him. It is a bit rhymey with his last name, but only if you use the nickname, so I’m not too worried about that.

Thank you guys for giving me the confidence to go ahead and use it, and not worry about it being too dorky. Everyone loves the name so far!

Kate writes:

I am due with my first baby January 20th, my name is Kate and my husband is Daniel, we don’t know the gender but we are pretty decided on a boys name: Hudson James Clancy (Clancy being our last name). Our alternate boys names if Hudson doesn’t feel right are: Riel James or Maxwell James (I also like the names Leif and Finley)

BUT: we are totally undecided on a baby girl names, I like names that are easy to spell and have been heard of before but aren’t SUPER common. We are thinking of Eleanor as the middle name (as it is a family name and we think it is lovely)

Harper Eleanor (I can’t decide if I think Harper is too common, does it sound “classic” or just “trendy”)
Hazel Eleanor (I like the old style of this name)
Scarlett Eleanor
Nelle (NN Nelly – middle name would have to be something other than Eleanor – maybe Kathryn?)
Beatrix Eleanor (I like the spunky sound but I am not sure it is classic enough for me.)
Violet Eleanor (I love how girly it is, but I am afraid of it’s popularity)

I love classic English or Irish names, but I just can’t seem to find one that I love as much as I love Hudson for the boy. Also, I quite like the idea of it being a “girly” but classic sounding name.

Name update! Kate writes:

We had our baby girl on January 20, 2011. We named her Lily Eleanor. When she was born she didn’t look like any of the names we had chosen, she has such delicate features, she needed a delicate name. A couple of days before she was born, my husband and I remembered a name that we had chosen for our “future babies” when we first met (at age 16!), that name was Lily. We had forgotten all about it and it was perfect, she just looked like a Lily Eleanor. She is now three months old and it is perfect for her. If I could offer one piece of advice, don’t worry about how popular a name is, if you love it, that is all that matters. Thanks for all of the lovely suggestions!

Rachel writes:

My due date is January 10th! We are down to the wire but fortunately I found your website…

Our first is Camille Isadora. We chose the first name as a name we both loved and her middle is for her grandfather who was Isidore.

Last name is Freedman. We need a sibling name and are 90% we like Simone for a girl. The middle name is not determined but we like something with a vowel and 3 syllables to follow the “formula” of Camille Isadora. I seem to like feminine, French-sounding names that are also the names are famous feminists…

We are having a much harder time with boy names. I like: Gabriel, Ezra, Benjamin, and Theodor. Husband likes Raphael, Aramis, Lando. He’s not wild about my names and I can’t stand his (except for Raphael). I think “Freedman” is a difficult last name and probably works best with a first name that ends in a vowel although we did not go that route for our first. For a boy, I think Simon (masculine version of our top pick girl name) is okay but not great. I love Marcel and Julian but husband has vetoed.

I’d appreciate your suggestions!

Simone is wonderful with Camille. Four-syllable middle name possibilities that match Isadora (do you pronounce it with 3 syllables, or is that a typo?):

Simone Aliberty
Simone Angelina
Simone Arabella
Simone Araminta
Simone Anastasia
Simone Annabella
Simone Ariadne
Simone Arianna
Simone Artemisia
Simone Aurelia
Simone Azalea
Simone Eleanora
Simone Elisheva
Simone Elisabeth/Elizabeth
Simone Emilia
Simone Evangeline
Simone Iliana
Simone Octavia
Simone Olympia
Simone Ophelia
Simone Orianna
Simone Ottilie

Or, if you don’t mind having three syllables instead of four, you could use one of Simone de Beauvoir‘s other names (she had four first names, connected with hyphens—now THERE’S an interesting baby name to discuss!): Ernestine. Simone Ernestine Freedman. Ernestine is not a name currently in style, but it certainly would pay a strong tribute to a famous feminist. In fact, to two famous feminists: Ernestine Rose.

Another 3-syllable candidate: Simone Ursula. Or Simone Antoinette. (Antoinette would also be a very nice first name: Camille and Antoinette; Antoinette Freedman.)

If you can waive both the 4-syllable requirement and the vowel requirement, Simone Josefina would be so pretty. Or Simone Marguerite.

All right, that’s all the time I want to spend on that (time is ticking away and the baby could be born TODAY), especially since I’m not sure how attached you are to the preferences about syllables and vowels, but anyone who’s interested can keep working their way through the list: List of feminists, on Wikipedia. My favorite so far is Simone Antoinette.

Oh, wait, I’m right back to that list, because I don’t see any reason we wouldn’t continue to work from it for a boy’s name. Heinrich might be too hard to work with; I like to use actual namesake names as much as possible, but maybe in this case it would be better to use the U.S. version of the name and go with Henry instead: Henry Freedman. Cornelius has possibility. I wish it had a good nickname. Neil? Lee? But by the time we’re working on nicknames for a middle name, I feel like we’ve lost the benefits of a namesake name.

I really like the name Alan (it was on our Top 7 list for our lastborn). Alan Freedman, Camille and Alan. More possibilities:

Anthony Freedman
Becker Freedman
Brenner Freedman
Carpenter Freedman
Charles Freedman

…Although, this is making me a little uncomfortable. Something about taking a feminist woman’s surname and making it a boy name…I’m not sure if it’s Very Very Good or if it’s Not Good At All. We could stick to the names of male feminists, but (1) that’s a very short list, and (2) none of the names stand out to me: they’re all Thomas and John and so forth (Frederick is wonderful, but not with Freedman).

Your husband’s style is fairly consistent: Lando and Aramis are in The Baby Name Wizard‘s Fanciful and Fantastical sections, respectively, and Raphael is an Exotic Traditional. Those three sections are more like one section of increasing unusualness. If I look at that section (or three sections) through a filter of the names you like (Gabriel, Ezra, Benjamin, Theodor), I think these might work:

Aidric Freedman; Camille and Aidric
Alistair Freedman; Camille and Alistair
Barnaby Freedman; Camille and Barnaby
Elias Freedman; Camille and Elias
Everest Freedman; Camille and Everest
Ezekiel Freedman; Camille and Ezekiel
Felix Freedman; Camille and Felix
Malachi Freedman; Camille and Malachi
Milo Freedman; Camille and Milo
Orion Freedman; Camille and Orion
Phineas Freedman; Camille and Phineas
Titus Freedman; Camille and Titus

(Ezra, Gideon, and Cornelius are all in this section, too, so perhaps your husband could be leaned toward one of those.)

Oh, I see Hugo listed as a brother name for Ezra. Would that work? Hugo Freedman; Camille and Hugo.

Your name choices lean more toward Biblical and French. Looking at those categories with your husband’s preferences in mind, I wonder if any of these would work (note some repeats from the previous list):

Abner Freedman; Camille and Abner
Asher Freedman; Camille and Asher
Barnaby Freedman; Camille and Barnaby
Ezekiel (Zeke) Freedman; Camille and Ezekiel
Judah Freedman; Camille and Judah
Levi Freedman; Camille and Levi
Lucius Freedman; Camille and Lucius
Malachi Freedman; Camille and Malachi
Phineas Freedman; Camille and Phineas
Silas Freedman; Camille and Silas
Tobias Freedman; Camille and Tobias
Titus Freedman; Camille and Titus

And I see Raphael is both Exotic Traditional AND Biblical, so that might be one to consider hard if nothing else seems right.

(I will add parenthetically that I think Titus is risky, considering how much it might sound to co-students like tight-a$$. But it was so cool that it was in both categories.)

Out of the blue I will mention Darien (or Darian or Derian or a number of other spellings), because it was a name agreed on by a couple I know who had a very hard time reconciling one parent’s more fanciful tastes with the other parent’s more traditional tastes.

I think my top choice for you is Hugo, followed by Raphael, Becker, Aidric, Barnaby, and Milo. If Raphael isn’t a name you can quite agree to, it might make a very nice middle name. Hugo Raphael Freedman would be really nice.

Last minute possibility: Pascal. French and dramatically underused. Pascal Freedman, Camille and Pascal.

Name update! Rachel writes:

Our baby was born on January 13th. We decided that Camille Isadora’s little SISTER would be Simone Aviva. We had agreed on Simone all along…I have always loved the name Aviva, an Israeli name that was popular when I was growing up. My husband had vetoed the name early in the process but at the birth, decided to give me a “gift” of using this name as the middle. I was thrilled and I feel like the middle name is closer to our Jewish heritage and rounds out the “French-ness” of our girls’ first names. (We are not French).

Thanks for your help!