Kristi writes:

We really need some help! I’m due with our second child, a girl, Sept 8. We had very little problem coming up with our son’s name – wanted something uncommon (but not unusual) thereby ending up using family names of Warren Geoffrey (Jof-free). Our last name sounds like Cavenner, and I’m conscious of the mouth-full effect of a 3 syllable last name. My name is Kristi, so growing up in the 80’s-90’s there were always other “Christy/Christie/Kristy/Kristie’s” around and I don’t want an overly popular name where my child has to go by last initial for differentiation. My husband is highly attracted to historical names, especially those with roots in the US founding, and doesn’t care if the name is popular or not. We are attempting to keep the strong contenders and possible final decision a surprise so I’m not discussing this with friends and family.

It seems that all the names I have originally been attracted to are either popular or gaining popularity. My favorite girl name since I was in high school is Charlotte, but apparently that is supposed to be “the name” this year. Other names I like but am dismissing due to popularity are Samantha & Madelyn. My husband really likes Abigail (I suggested this before I realized its popularity, but he likes it because it is the name of John Adams’ wife). Now he thinks that since I suggested the name and he likes it, it’s carved in stone – I’m not sold! I like the name Rose, for its simplicity, implied grace and lack of over-use. For middle names my husband is adamantly stuck on either Madison, after James Madison, or Pinckney (Pink-nee) a family surname.

I’d really like your opinion and possibly outside suggestions for classic, feminine, fresh names. Unless you can help me come up with some good ammunition/alternatives, my daughter’s name is going to be Abigail Madison Cavenner. Two of the most popular names today and a 3-3-3 syllable name. Not a bad name, but not the unique moniker I wanted.

We could look to the second President Adams’s wife, whose name was Louisa Catherine (source: Wikipedia list of first ladies). We still end up with a 3-3-3 pattern (though I like that), and we end up with names that are currently in favor but not as common as Abigail and Madison.

I think if I were you I would find some names you like and then see if you can find anyone with those names in the right time period. This is what I did with my own husband, who likes scientists: when I thought of a name I really wanted to use, I pitched it to him as being after a scientist with the same name.

Or, look around in early U.S. history and see if any of the names interest you. Look at surnames and middle names and maiden names as well as first names. Here’s where I started searching: Wikipedia: Women in the American Revolution. Margaret Corbin and Margaret Kemble Gage give us the name Margaret, and also the name Kemble if you want something very uncommon. Esther de Berdt gives us the name Esther, a name that’s stayed consistently in the 200s/300s for decades. Do you like the name Molly? There’s Molly Stark and the story/nickname of Molly Pitcher (maybe a real woman or maybe something like Rosie the Riveter). And there are plenty of Catherines, Kates, Janes, Marys, Elizabeths, Sarahs, Annes and Annas, if you like any of those. And for something more unusual, Frederika, Bailey, and Lindley.

I really like the name Pinckney for the middle name, if it works with the first name you choose: it’s unusual, it’s a family name, and the “pink” sound keeps it girly.

If you want to avoid popular, avoid fresh: anything that sounds fresh will also be sounding fresh to thousands of other parents. Test the name: say it to yourself, and if you get a little smack of cool, moist freshness, cross it off because we can almost guarantee it will be swooping up in popularity.

I like:

Esther Pinckney Cavenner; Warren and Esther
Frederika Pinckney Cavenner; Warren and Frederika
Louisa Pinckney Cavenner; Warren and Louisa
Margaret Pinckney Cavenner; Warren and Margaret
Molly Pinckney Cavenner; Warren and Molly
Rose Pinckney Cavenner; Warren and Rose

I also like Abigail Pinckney Cavenner. Abigail is a Top Ten name, but in my area they all seem to be going by Abby—so if yours goes by Abigail she might not need an initialed surname even if there’s another in her class. The national usage of the name is at .71%—or roughly 7 Abigails per 1,000 baby girls. Charlotte may indeed jump this year, but last year it was roughly 2 Charlottes per 1,000 baby girls. That’s not too bad, commonness-wise.

Name update 09-19-2010! Kristi writes:

Thanks so much for all the suggestions! Rose Marion Cavenner was born last week. Seeing all the responses helped sway my husband to Rose and reevaluate the middle names. We decided on Marion, another family name that had been previously discissed and dismissed. After meeting our little lady we decided Rose Marion was perfect!

Thanks again for all the help!

K. writes:

I wanted to write you months ago for help naming our second child, a boy, but I knew it wouldn’t be my turn until close to my due date (9/4) and I was certain we would have a name already chosen by then. Well, we don’t, so I am writing to you now. Our daughter’s name is Anna. Our tentative boy name for the past several years was Spencer and we would always refer to a potential future son as Spence. When we found out we were having a boy, I thought there was probably an 80% chance that would be his name because my husband doesn’t like to think too much about names (he tends to be the typical male “veto-er” of my suggestions). So I was surprised when my husband said he wasn’t sure Spencer was his name, and wondered if Spence was really just a pre-birth nickname, like calling your baby “pickle” or something like that. So after I suggested a buzzillion names to hubby, his only response was “I feel like we just haven’t heard the name yet.” Which left me stumped, because hubby in particular doesn’t like names that are “weird” so I didn’t think looking for MORE unusual names was going to help. We both tend to like timeless, easily spellable/pronounceable, biblical, and not too “ethnic” sorts of names. So I left it at, “Well, here are my top choices. If you don’t come up with something else, we are going to have to choose from those.” My husband, bless him, has now done some thinking about it and actually LOOKED AT A BABY NAME BOOK (briefly). He suggested Jacob (he likes the biblical story of Jacob’s transition from self-reliance to dependence on God) or Nathaniel. I vetoed Jacob as a first name, due to its popularity, although I like the name otherwise. So hubby decided he thought baby’s name was Nathaniel, and I was/am prepared to name him that, as I like the idea of him being named by his father, and I like the name (although not quite as much as MY names). And then a few days ago, husband says, “I’m having second thoughts about Nathaniel. I’m thinking about Spencer again.” Interesting. So all this is to say, we very well may not have a name picked out until after baby is born. I’m hoping that once we see him, we will both have a strong feeling about a name. Hopefully the same name! Anyway, I think the first name will be one of our top 4 choices:

Spencer: I like it for it’s timeless quality and the fact that it is familiar but not too popular. I think it goes well with Anna. Spence Lee reminds me a bit of Bruce Lee, but I can live with it. Husband thinks the name is kind of geeky.

Nathaniel: I think this is still my husband’s top choice. I like it, but wonder if the “L” at the end of it blends too much with the “L” at the beginning of Lee. I also like Nate, but it does sound pretty choppy with our last name.

Elliot: This may be my top choice. I have liked this name for a long time. My biggest concerns are people misspelling it, and maybe that it is becoming a girl name. Husband likes it okay, but also thinks it is geeky.

Benjamin: This is a name I really like, despite the fact that it is fairly common. I love both Benjamin (I think of a hot guy like Benjamin Bratt) and Ben (a nice guy). I love Benji but husband absolutely vetoes this nickname. He threatens to call baby “Uncle Benny” as a nickname, which I detest. Ben Lee sounds choppy too…as do pretty much all nicknames with our last name. I guess that is the beauty of Elliot–no nickname.

I think at the end of the day, I will let my husband have the biggest say in choosing his first name. Anna was a name I loved for years and years and I just don’t feel as strongly about any of our boy names. I like all of them, and I assume that any one of them would grow on me and become our son’s name once we named him. I am interested in what you and your readers think is the best name for us though!

My bigger plea, however, is for first name/middle name combos. We chose Anna’s middle name, Grace, a few days after she was born. We knew it didn’t have the best flow (not a concern to my husband), but chose it for its meaning. I had several medical complications at the end of my pregnancy and had some scares in terms of her birth and health. When she arrived safely and perfectly healthy, we wanted to recognize the significance, and chose to name her after God’s grace to us. My husband in particular is much more concerned with meaning (recognizing our Christian faith in God) than flow or how a particular name sounds. I am a bit overwhelmed with trying to come up with at least four first/middle name options (knowing husband may do his veto thing again anyway). I think I would like at least one biblical name/meaning in the combo, which means a biblical middle name for Spencer. I would love to use middle names from our top four…I am just not sure how they sound together. Two possible combos are Spencer Nathaniel and Elliot Jacob. How does Nathaniel Elliot Lee sound? Benjamin really stumps me. Other names “we” might like: Ezra, Abram, Isaac, Judah, Josiah, Jonas, Theodore, Jude, Asher, Calvin (family name), and John (family name). I love Gabriel and Luke, but they don’t sound good with our last name. I also like Graham, Simon, Tate, Cole, Dane, and Franklin but hubby has vetoed. Samuel was taken by two close friends.

Thanks in advance for your help!

It’s too bad your surname begins with L, because otherwise Paul (whose conversion story is one of the most dramatic in the Bible) would be a great choice for you.

I think it would be worthwhile to revisit the idea of Jacob. Your husband likes the story; you both like the name; it’s great with your surname; and even though it’s the #1 most popular boy name in the United States, not even 1% of boys were given the name in 2009—and there’s been a small but steady decrease in that percentage since 1998, when it was #2 but 1.78% (source: Social Security Administration). At its current percentage, that’s roughly 1 in 100 boys—or a rough average of one Jacob per six or seven 30-kid classrooms (assuming approximately half the children are boys). I like Jacob Nathaniel Lee, or Jacob Spencer Lee, or Jacob Calvin Lee, Jacob Benjamin Lee, or maybe one of the names you like but your husband doesn’t: Jacob Graham Lee, Jacob Franklin Lee, etc.

If Nathaniel has an L problem and Nate is too short, maybe Nathan? He was the guy in the Bible who called King David out for stealing someone else’s wife, and that takes guts. Plus, his name means “God-given.” I like Nathan Elliot Lee and Nathan Benjamin Lee.

If you do use Nathaniel, I like Nathaniel Benjamin Lee best. I also like Nathaniel Jacob Lee. I think Nathaniel Elliot Lee has a lot of L in it, but on the other hand I think the repeating L-sounds tie the name together.

If you use Benjamin, I like Benjamin Elliot Lee or Benjamin Jacob Lee. I think Benjamin Nathaniel Lee works too.

I like Spencer Elliot Lee, Spencer Benjamin Lee, AND Spencer Nathaniel Lee.

All right, everyone! Make some combinations!

Name update 09-04-2010! K. writes:

Nathaniel John is here! We weren’t any more decided after he was born, so we eventually just had to make a decision. I was tempted by the suggestion of James for a middle name, but we were most swayed by the meaning of the names. Nathaniel means “given by God” or “gift of God” and John means “God is gracious”. And that pretty much sums up how we feel. Our beautiful son was a gift from our gracious God! Thanks for the help.

Jan writes:

We are having a second child, a girl. Her older sister’s name is Simone Olivia. We chose Simone because it was uncommon, didn’t end in the letter a, strong/sophisticated, not hard to say/spell, is a namesake for her grandfather, and we like the meaning (one who hears God). Olivia was more of a “pretty, flows well” choice. Our last name is similar sounding to “Can.”

With #2 we are having a hard time coming up with a name that is similar in criteria though this time I’m okay with the name ending in an a. The middle name will fulfill the family naming tradition slot this time and will either be Nia or Nina. We chose not to put Nina as a middle name with Simone because we’re not that big of fans of the jazz singer; similarly that’s a reason to not use it as a first name this time. My husband likes Nia as a first name but I think it’s too short (would be okay with it as a nickname for Antonia but he doesn’t like Antonia) and that the style doesn’t really match with Simone. In addition to the “match the style” challenge my husband really wants the name to have some significance – either to us personally or a woman who was some kind of ground breaker (if this was a boy his name would have been Malcolm, as in X).

Names I like which have been vetoed by my husband: Ramona, Claudia, Audrey, Camille, Scarlett
Names he has suggested that I haven’t loved: Thea, Billie

Thanks for your help!

I won’t be able to help with names that have significance to you personally, but here are a few groundbreaking women (selection chosen by whether their names seem okay as sister names with Simone):

Amelia Earhart
Coretta Scott King
Elizabeth Cady Stanton
Emmeline Pankhurst
Gloria Steinem
Hillary Clinton
Ida B. Wells Barnett
Jane Goodall
Julia Ward Howe
Lucy Stone
Madeleine Albright
Margaret Sanger
Marie Curie
Mary McLeod Bethune
Maya Angelou
Millicent Fawcett
Rosa Parks
Ruth Simmons

(sources: Groundbreaking Women, Groundbreaking Women, Lighting the Way, Wikipedia: Women’s Rights)

I like a lot of those with Simone: Simone and Julia, Simone and Amelia, Simone and Rosa, Simone and Margaret, Simone and Gloria, Simone and Marie. (The name Marie FEELS so common because of its use as a middle name, but it’s #571 on the Social Security list.)

Nia/Nina is a tricky middle name to work with, but it works okay with some of them.

My favorite, I think, would be Celeste Nina.

Anyone else want to take a swing at this one? I’m having trouble coming up with options.

Name update 09-08-2010! Jan writes:

Noemi Nia X “Can” was born on September 2nd. We like Noemi (Italian form of Naomi pronounced No-EH-mi) because of how it sounds, its Biblical connection, meaning (pleasant; delightful) and thought it flowed okay with Nia. And since we didn’t use Malcolm her second middle name is X! Thanks to everyone for their suggestions – Lena and Yvette are ones we seriously considered. Thanks, Patricia, for reminding me about the other Simone sibling post. It was nice to see that the name we chose was on the list suggested by one commenter, KMW.

Amy writes:

I have been putting off writing to you because I kept thinking we would find the perfect name. This is not yet the case, and my due date (September 1, 2010) is drawing near. I need to enlist your expertise. My Husband and I have been married for 9 years now and together for around 12. I gave birth to our first child, Beckett Finn, last summer. We adore his name as it reflects our love for all things literary, our time spent working in theater, and our Irish/English roots. Further, it’s a unique (unpopular) name that doesn’t lend itself to a nickname and is easily spelled. We are now expecting a daughter and are really having a hard time finding a name that measures up (in our eyes) to her big brother’s name. If #2 had been a boy, we had decided on Truman Tate. This obviously won’t work for us now. We are leaning toward a more unisex name and perhaps another surname, however, there are a few traditionally female names that we like as well. We would really like to use Quinn for her middle name, if possible, because we LOVE it, and really like how it “matches” with Finn. We only plan on having the 2 children, but realize if we were to have another one we could use Brynn, Lynn, or Wynn to keep the theme going. FYI: When I picture my baby girl she has blonde hair, blue/green eyes, and is quite the spunky little conversationalist. She is very nurturing and loves all things pink and girly, but is also quite the little aggressor out on the soccer field and certainly isn’t afraid to get dirty. We want a name that suits her whether she decides to be an artist or a Supreme Court Justice. In Laura Wattenberg’s The Baby Name Wizard, she describes the name Beckett as, “a literary name with a rock star spirit.” Please help us find a name with this type of “feel” for our daughter!

This is our current list:

Unisex/Surnames…

-Harper Quinn
Literary Reference: Author Harper Lee.
I feel like this may be the best “match”, but I see Harper climbing the popularity charts quickly and I don’t want her to have a popular, dated, or trendy name. Also, it just doesn’t seem especially pretty to me.

-London Quinn/Grace/Belle/Blue (?)
Literary Reference: Author Jack London
This is the most popular name on our list and my Husband’s favorite. I hate the popularity. I love the name and it’s significance to us. We both love the writer Jack London, and we spent much of our courtship eating sushi and listening to jazz in Jack London Square in Oakland, CA. My Hubby equates this name to the time in our lives when we were falling in love. I haven’t found the perfect middle to pair with it as Quinn repeats the ‘N’ sound and I’m not sure if it sounds right. Grace is pretty but feels like a “filler” name. Belle is pretty as well, but it turns the name into a noun. Blue is a bit edgy and has literary significance as well as personal significance (we’ve called this little one “Blueberry” for almost 8 months now), but I’m just not sure it’s a perfect fit.

-Quinn Felicity
Literary Reference: ???
I love this name combo but it simply doesn’t have the literary significance of some of our other choices. This makes it less desirable to my Husband. However, I still think it’s beautiful and love Quinn as a first name paired with sweet and feminine Felicity.

-Sawyer Quinn
Literary Reference: Title character in Mark Twain’s The Adventures of Tom Sawyer.
I keep hearing negative feedback on the name Sawyer for a girl. But WE LOVE it! However, I don’t want everyone to always automatically assume that she’s a boy before they meet her. Also, one of our best friends of over 15 years has this surname and it would be a nice tribute to him.

Distinctly Feminine…

-Beatrix Belle/Blue
Literary Reference: Author Beatrix Potter
This is a great classic underused name with a saucy edge (love the unexpected “X”). Although I don’t typically like nicknames, I think a little Bea would be darling and very unique. Not sure if the style pairs well with Beckett, and if we do happen to have more children, this limits us to ‘B’ names. Had to convince my Husband this was a real name, but now it has really grown on him.

-Felicity Belle
Literary Reference: ???
This was the name I chose for my fake I.D. in high school. I think it’s beautiful, however, it lacks literary significance and a 4-syllable first name would surely be shortened to an undesirable nickname.

-Phoebe Quinn/Jane
Literary Reference: Holden Caulfield’s sister in Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye. Found in Greek myths and Shakespeare as well.
Phoebe has been my favorite name for a girl since I was a teenager. However, it’s not overtly literary like some of our other picks. Quinn makes it feel more modern while Jane makes it feel more classic. Also, not sure if the style pairs well with Beckett…but we both love this name.

-Violet Quinn
Literary Reference: Character in Roald Dahl’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
Beautiful, charming and sweet little vintage name that has unfortunately been climbing the charts at an alarming rate. Violet Quinn is adorable to me in every way. But again, I’m not sure if the style matches up with Beckett or if it’s “literary enough”. I’m also worried about both names ending in a ‘T’ sound…oh, and the initials V. D.

Other Names that were seriously considered but ultimately ruled out:
Adelaide – Hubby suggested. I think there are too many girls nicknamed “Addy” already, and it feels very German to me;
Arden Quinn – Hubby thought it sounded too harsh…but I still like it;
Auden – Liked the literary aspect, not the “odd” sound;
Bronte Quinn – I thought it sounded too pretentious and didn’t want to put an umlaut over the “E,” I dislike any punctuation in a name;
Boston Blue/Belle – Lacking literary substance, but feels very “cool” to me;
Campbell Grace – Hubby couldn’t stop thinking of soup and I didn’t like the nickname options;
Eliot Quinn – An inevitable nickname, I prefer the Elliott spelling, which takes away the literary significance (T. S. Eliot);
Emerson – I don’t like “son” as part of a girl’s name;
Harlow Reese/Jane – Lacking literary substance;
Juliet – Too frilly for me;
Maisie – So cute, but ultimately ruled out nickname names;
Miller – Love the playwright and the nickname (Millie), but Hubby tends to think of the beer; and
Story – Seems a bit trendy, but love the way it sounds and how unique it is.

We would love your help to narrow down our list or even suggest something completely different if you think it would be a better match. I know I’ve given you a lot of information (maybe too much?) but I’m hoping it will help you have a better idea of what we’re searching for. We do not have any family names that we want to use nor do we want to purposely chose blatantly Biblical names. We want our children to have their very own unique names that are simply meaningful to us.

Thank You!

My favorite from your list is Beatrix Blue, although I think I like Beatrix Quinn even more. I think it goes well with Beckett, and that only two B names wouldn’t be enough to force you into using a third if you had another child.

Another favorite is Phoebe Quinn. If that’s been your favorite girl name since high school, and if your husband loves it too, it seems like a good choice. I think it goes well with Beckett.

Another possible choice is Flannery. VERY unusual, very literary, very pretty, excellent with Beckett, great with Quinn. Flannery Quinn.

Name update 10-18-2010! Amy writes:

After much deliberation, we named our sweet baby girl Phoebe Quinn. When she first arrived, I immediately thought she was a Phoebe, but my husband thought she was a London. Shortly after that, we both thought that maybe she was a Harper…but was it pretty enough for our little princess? Over the next 24 hours we “tried on” all of the names from our list as well as all of the suggestions from you and your readers. The birth certificate lady came by several different times, but we still weren’t ready to commit to a name. It took the hospital threatening to write “Baby Girl” on her birth certificate to help us make that final decision. Almost 24 hours after her birth, my husband announced that she was Phoebe Quinn — and she was. I’m not sure why it took us so long to see it, but Phoebe just fits her perfectly. Thank you to you and your readers for all of your help!

Brandi writes:

I am due August 30 with our third child and first boy. My husband and I are having the hardest time zeroing in on a “perfect” name. We have a long list of names we both like, but nothing either of us insanely love, and nothing that feels exactly right.

We’d like to use my husband’s first name, Anson, as the middle name, since that is the tradition in his family. (I am finding it is a hard name to have in the middle) Our last name is spelled differently but sounds exactly like the word Shawl. This last name has made it impossible to use my favorite name, Harry, or any names like Paul, Sol, Grey, etc. because it rhymes or brings to mind the item of clothing. I am having hang-ups on using names that end in -s as it makes a bit of a tongue twister to say. I also hesitate to use a name ending in -n since his middle will be an -n ending name, but it seems like less of a big deal.

Our two daughters are named Olivia Beulah and Elsa Pearl.

Some of the names we like:

Bartholomew (nn Bart or Ollie)
Martin (nn Marty)
Sidney
Otto
K/Carl
Walter
Albert (my husband likes this name, I’m not too fond of it)
Gilbert
Hank (I feel like Henry is a touch too popular, I have several HS friends with baby Henrys, so I hesitate to use Henry–and I don’t love giving nicknames as formal names, but I thought I’d throw it on here)
Miles
William (nn Billy)
Abraham

Names we can’t use (sibs or kids of close family):

Jacob
Jack
Alexander
Blake
Parker
Ezra
Simon
Cameron
Michael
Wesley

Also we have been calling the baby J.R. mostly as a joke. We jokingly suggested we’d name him Jeffrey Robert after our fathers. Now I’m wondering if we should “give up” and just name him that!

Thanks!

YOU HAVE KARL ON YOUR LIST!! I have been pushing and pushing this name and have had NO TAKERS. So now I want to push YOU super super hard to use it! EXCEPT: when I try to say “Karl Shawl,” I have trouble saying it. Everyone else, try saying it aloud—is it hard for you too?

Another possible nickname for Bartholomew is Barry—which reminds me of your favorite name Harry. Or Gerrit/Garrett Shawl is nice, and gives you Gary, though then I’d want a different middle name to avoid the initials GAS. Or Jeremiah Anson Shawl, and Jerry. Or Lawrence Anson Shawl, and Larry. (I used to prefer the spelling Laurence, but now it makes me think of the girl’s name Lauren.) Or Perry Anson Shawl. Or Terrance Anson Shawl, and Terry. Although both Lawrence and Terrance end the way Anson begins, so perhaps that’s too repetitive?

I wonder if you’d like the name Warren? Warren Anson Shawl. Olivia, Elsa, and Warren.

Is the name Wade too choppy with a one-syllable surname? Wade Anson Shawl. Olivia, Elsa, and Wade.

Similar to Hank is Frank. Franklin Anson Shawl. Olivia, Elsa, and Frank.

Name update 09-07-2010! Brandi writes:

Baby arrived last Wednesday, hooray! He was and is darling, but we didn’t feel that any of the names and suggestions fit him once he was here and we saw him. It was “back to the drawing board” in the hospital, where we decided that Peter was perfect and fitting for him. Peter was never a favorite of mine or my husband’s, but it was on our list back in the early stages when we had 30+ names listed. It feels like one of those cases where baby practically named himself. But of course we love him and his name– Peter Anson Shawl. Thank you for your suggestions, and to the commenters for their suggestions. They were fun to read and it helped put us in what we thought was the right direction before he was born! He had other plans, but we’re very happy with our little Pete.

Karen writes:

I’m due at the end of August with our daughter and we just can’t seem to pick a name.
We already have a son names Oberon Elwood. Elwood is a family name.
We wanted a girl’s name that was strong but feminine and uncommon but not strange or difficult to pronounce. We also want a name that has a nice meaning or a literary reference would be a bonus. Our background is German, Scottish, Irish and I grew up in a French speaking area so I name from those background would be a bonus. A great nickname that is a standalone name too would be ideal. Oberon goes by Obie. Basically, we were looking for a feminine equivalent of Oberon.

I liked Aurora and Rory for short but my husband couldn’t get over an association he had with someone else and we determined it was too popular. We’ve always liked Isla but weren’t sure if it was strong enough and the meaning didn’t stand out. Ultimately, this name is too popular too. My husband liked Lorelei, which I love on paper but to me it sounds like Laura-Lye and I didn’t care for that.
We also loved Asher for a girl but feel it’s a very popular boys name and we don’t want her to feel like she was given a boy’s name.
I love Veruca but it means wart and is associated with the spoiled girl from Charlie and the Chocolate factor so that one got ruled out.
I love Oleander. I love how it sounds. I like Lola as a nickname but it doesn’t have any significant meaning and my husband is concerned about it actually being a highly toxic plant. I’m just having a hard time letting go of this name. My husband is fond of Adelaide and I’m luke warm on it. There isn’t a nickname that I love for Adelaide. I’m trying to stay open to it.

We both love Beatrix but we worry a little about the “ks” sound in the X running into the S in our last name. We’re also concerned about her having the initials B.S. but aren’t sure how important that is with a middle name. Finally, it’s hard to find a nickname that we like for Beatrix. It’s sweet that it could be Bea or Betty, which coincidentally are the names of both mine and my husband’s grandmothers. But Obie and Bea are a bit much. I also like Bebe but the same issue with Obie and Bebe, especially when we call Obie, Obiebie sometimes. I don’t like Trixie. We have considered Bex or Bexie or even Pixie. We would use Viola as a middle name. It’s another family name – actually Elwood’s wife was Viola in my family so there would be that connection between our children. And it has the literary reference and has a great meaning plus it doesn’t seem that common.

The other name we’ve given a lot of consideration to is Ursula. It has a similar meaning as Oberon which is thematically nice. I like Lula or Zuzu for nicknames. It seems strong and feminine and uncommon. Coincidentally it is a crater on the moon Titania which was the name of Oberon’s wife in Midsummer night’s Dream. Another nice connection albeit an obscure one. We would use the middle name Ellen, which is my mother’s name and also has a nice pairing with Oberon Elwood – Ursula Ellen. Our hesitation over this name is whether Ursula is viewed as an ugly name in this culture in addition to its association with the witch from Disney’s Little Mermaid.

I suspect it’s going to come down to Beatrix Viola S. or Ursula Ellen S.

So what do you think? Any suggestions?

Thanks so much in advance for your help. We’ve been spinning our wheels and I’ve been making myself neurotic!

Because you like the name Oleander but are concerned about the toxicity of the plant, I suggest the name Magnolia. It’s not in the Top 1000, it has the great nickname Maggie, or you could use Nola or Lia, or Nolly which is like Molly or Polly or Dolly but less common than any of them. It’s great with her brother’s name: Oberon and Magnolia. A magnolia is a beautiful tree with sturdy flowers and several medicinal uses. I like Magnolia Ellen.

Maybe this is reaching, but the place-name Arcadia got its name from the word arktos, or bear (source). I think it has the same dignified sound as Oberon: Oberon and Arcadia. Cady would be a great nickname. I like Arcadia Ellen.

To avoid the problem of Disney’s Ursula, you could use Ursa. Same meaning, but no evil witch. It loses the nicknames, however. You could use the English variant of Ursula, which is Ursella—but I find this alters the pronunciation, and also you might not want to seem to be in on the -ella trend.

I’m reading a book right now in which the main character is a girl named Olympia. Oberon and Olympia—nice. But I’m stuck for a nickname. Lippy? Limmy? Olly? Pippi?

I like Cressida (a Shakespeare name, like Oberon) for you, but again there is a nickname problem. Cressie? Siddy?

Verona is similar to Veruca but without the wart/Wonka association. I love how it sounds with Oberon: Oberon and Verona.

One of my favorite German names is Wilhelmina. So pretty, not in the Top 1000, and good nicknames: Willa, Mina.

The name Bernadette is French AND has the bear connection to Oberon. A cute nickname is Benny. I knew a Bernadette who went by Bernadette (her husband called her Bernie but I don’t think anyone else did), and I was surprised how the name grew on me.

My top two choices for you are Magnolia and Arcadia.

Name update! Karen writes:

This is a long overdo update on our daughter’s name.
I really appreciated all your feedback and your readers’ feedback.
It was nice to see how loved the name Ursula and Beatrix were as well. Our daughter didn’t end up “looking” like an Ursula. She’s nearly 4 months old now and the name doesn’t seem to fit her.
In the end we named our daughter Aurora Ellen (although I still love Viola, I really wanted to pay tribute to my mother they same way we had to my father in giving our son the middle name Elwood).
My husband finally came around to the name Aurora and since I have loved it since I first heard it when I was six we went with it.
We call our daughter Rory for short.
Turns out that Aurora was sleeping beauty’s name. I had no idea. Our daughter is definitely a good sleeper.

Thanks again!