Lauren writes:
When my husband and I became pregnant with our first baby in December, I became an avid fan of your baby naming blog. Now as we get closer to the due date, the pressure is on to come up with a name. I would love to hear your thoughts (or the thoughts of your readers!) to help guide us. Our last name is Steffel (pronounced st-eh-ful), and our first baby (a girl!) is due at the end of August. We hope to have a second child someday, but haven’t given much thought to possible sibling names as of yet.
I thought we had narrowed down the names to two: Juniper Maribel Steffel or Wilder Iris Steffel, but now my husband is getting cold feet about both, and asking that we go back to the drawing board. Juniper has such fun nicknames (Junie, June Bug), and Maribel was the county my husband and I were married in. Wilder seems uncommon enough that you don’t immediately associate it with a boy’s name, and I think the feminine-sounding Iris ensures this. We both don’t mind the wild connotation.
We want a name that sounds a bit out of the ordinary, and tend to like names that are nature-inspired (although not a requirement). My husband and I are both teachers, so having an unusual name makes it less likely that either of us already has had a student that it reminds us of. I want our baby to have a fun nickname, so I have ruled many names out that I can’t figure out a nickname for (or are too short for a nickname). That might be short-sighted on my part, though. Besides Wilder, we’ve mostly stayed away from gender-neutral names.
Here are some names that we considered:
Gemma (this was originally my top contender, but my husband doesn’t like it)
Orianna “Ori”
Emmeline
Adelaide
Genivieve
Elodie
Kestrel
Nicoletta
Wren (I love the nickname Birdie, as does my husband, but the single-syllable seems short for a first name)
Sloane (I’m a big fan of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, but Sloane Steffel is tongue twister)
Clara (this is my grandma’s name, but it doesn’t feel right as a first name for the baby)
Elm / Fern / Reed (all fun but too short for a first name, in my opinion)
Nella
Winnie (I think it’s adorable, but my husband hates it!)Boy names we had considered before we knew we were having a girl included Waites (if only our last name didn’t begin with an S), Cypress/Cyrus (again, an issue with the S?), Jude, Jasper, Zander, Wyatt (but maybe getting too popular now?) and of course Wilder. Our pattern seems to be mostly being drawn to first names that begin with J/G and W.
Please help us!
You have probably already considered this, but my first thought was to do something with the middle names of your previous candidates. Maribel Iris, for example, or Iris Maribel. Still unusual, but less of a statement than Wilder. Maribel Steffel has a repeated ending and Iris Steffel has an -s/S- issue, but neither issue seems like a deal-breaker. In fact, I’m surprised to find I like the sound of Maribel Steffel—I think because I’m saying the two -el sounds differently, and because of the 3/2-syllables (I wouldn’t like Laurel Steffel as much).
Or, if you love the nicknames Junie and June-Bug, I wonder if you could go straight to June? June Steffel is an excellent name, quite uncommon but not scary to use. June Maribel Steffel would be my top pick: a name with great nicknames, followed by a middle name with sentimental significance.
The nickname issue is an interesting one. If you want nicknames, that seems like a reasonable thing to put on the preference list. But if you’re eliminating names that would otherwise be perfect, and if you’re now a bit stuck, that seems like a good place to start reconsidering. Nicknames can come from many sources other than the given name. I’m thinking over my kids’ names, and only one has a nickname of the sort that could be listed in a baby name book alongside the name. The other nicknames are hard to explain because they just sort of evolved/happened. One kid has a name something like Keegan and then is nicknamed something like Zee and Zee-Bee. Another kid has a name something like Caleb but is nicknamed something like T.C. Another kid has a name something like James but is nicknamed something like Badger. And names like Junebug and Birdie can be nicknames for ANY name.
To go back to the -s/S- issue, I think it depends. I recently talked to a customer service representative named William Meyer, and as I was reflecting afterward on what a good impression that name made (professional, competent), I realized it had an -m/M- issue. In actual usage, it wasn’t a problem at all. It’s hard to tell ahead of time which combinations of sounds will be problems, but in general I look for two things:
1. Do the combined sounds make the name challenging to say? That is, do you find yourself tangling the names, or swapping the sounds, or not liking the way the name makes your mouth feel?
2. Do the combined sounds cause confusion or embarrassment? That is, would it be easy to misunderstand the name for another name or another word? I find it hard to think of examples for this, but something like how Paul Amato might sound like Paula Mato. Or Jacob Utmund can sound like Jacob Buttmund. Or the classic example is poor Ben Dover who sounds like Bend Over.
Iris Steffel definitely makes me put a little pause between the two names, and it makes my mouth a little uncomfortable, but it doesn’t cause any confusion or embarrassment. It’s the same when I try Cyrus Steffel. They wouldn’t be my first choice, but I wouldn’t find it strange if someone else chose them. Waites Steffel is harder for me, I think because it’s not just the -s/S but also a -ts/St-; also, the one-syllable first names seem to give me more of a challenge than the two-syllable options. (And with that particular example, the word “waitstaff” comes to mind. Perhaps it wouldn’t for people who hadn’t worked as waiters, however. And it’s not like there’s any good teasing potential there.)
A few W names to consider:
Waverly
Wilhelmina/Willemina
Willa
Willow
Winifred (probably not an option if your husband hates Winnie)
Of these my favorite is Willa: it’s unusual but not startlingly so, and I find I immediately start nicknaming it: Willobean, Willow Tree, Willabug, etc.
A few options that don’t start with W but have a W in them:
Arwen
Bronwyn/Bronwen
Gwendolyn
Harlow
Marlowe
Meadow
Rowan
I especially like Rowan for its nature tie-in. Rowan Maribel Steffel.
Fiona comes to mind. Fiona Maribel Steffel.
First I love all of your name choices and juniper an maribel especially
If you like the nickname birdie you could do Robin or go all the way to Roberta (both Birdie and Robin are well established nicknames for Roberta)
If you want something like iris you could go with Irene which has Renny as a nn
I think Wilder would be…. tough for a girl. It makes me thing of “Girls Gone Wild.” I know you said the connotation doesn’t bother you, but it might be a teasing point as she gets older. I do like Wilder as a middle name though, and that’s where it is more reminiscent of Laura Ingalls Wilder, which is a huge positive for me.
What about June Wilder Steffel? That would be my top pick, I think.
Birdie is sooo cute, and I know and Abigail who goes by Birdie. Abigail Wilder Steffel? Abigail Iris Steffel?
I’ve heard of Bridgets who go by Birdie too. Bridget Wilder Steffel. Bridget Iris Steffel.
Great choices!
I liked the idea of using the current middle name choices in either combination. If you’ve mostly stayed away from gender-neutral names Wilder might be an outlier for you that could cause problems with future sister names. (Or maybe not, as you have Sloane and Reed on your list as well.) I think Birdie is sometimes used as a nickname for Bridget, so there’s a possibility for you.
I love Iris but it doesn’t fit with your other criteria for a first name.
If you love Birdie, have you considered Bridget? I like both Bridget Iris and Bridget Maribel. I think Birdie could also be a nickname for Bronwyn.
W – I do like Willow and Willow Iris is lovely. You could use Wills or Willie for a nickname. Westley is another aw name that has a similar feel to Wilder. Wes or West are cute nicknames.
J- have you considered using Juno to get to the nickname Junie or June Bug? I think Jasper from your boys list fits the same category as Wilder. Jasper Iris is lovely and you could use the nickname Jas or Jassie. Jordana is another possibility with the nickname Jory or Jordy.
G-I do like the name Gwendolyn with the nickname Gwen. Gwendolyn Maribel or Gwnedolyn Iris both work. I also recently heard the name Gwenora which. I rather liked as both Gwen and Nora work as nicknames.
The names at the end that have a “W” in them made me think of Eowyn pronounced A-O-Wyn. With Winnie as the nickname.
I love Juniper Maribel and Iris is a lovely name too. Wilder actually reminded me of Van Wilder from American Pie/Van Wilder. Not something I personally would want for my child. I love Swistle’s options for names with a W in them.
Of your list of other names I really like:
Orianna
Elodie
Kestrel
Nella
Some other names to consider:
Piper
Ivy
Penelope
Coral
Everleigh
I’m going to guess you teach somewhat older students, bc my first thought about the name Wilder is = so many kids are going to have a very hard time saying that name out loud. My middle child just finished kindergarten and I was able to spend 30-45 minutes in her classroom every week working on reading skills and I feel pretty confident in saying that combination of sounds would be a mouthful on many many kids until probably age 7 or 8. Depending on you look at it, that is either a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things, or a really long time of a kid who potentially struggles saying their own name.
Not to go all first year psych student on you or anything, but I wonder if perhaps your husband doesn’t have an issue with the names you’ve chosen, but is just feeling a little out of control as the big event approaches. It would be a shame to discard names you love if that isn’t the real issue.
I much prefer June to Juniper as Swistle suggested.
Unfortunately, I think Maribel was a name used for a cow on TV or something, because that’s all I think of with it, but I do appreciate the sentimental connection there.
Wilder actually only makes me think boy. Unless she was always going by first and middle as a set, I wouldn’t see it as gender neutral.
Winnie/Wilder make me think of Winter or Wisteria.
I dislike the nn. Birdie personally, but if that’s one you both like you could consider Birdelle or Birleana.
Wren was derived from Wrenna – maybe the extra length makes Wrenna work better for you?
I’m not sure about Wilder on a girl. It makes me think of Gene Wilder, and while that certainly isn’t a negative association it does make me automatically assume it’s a boy’s name.
My next suggestion would be Sparrow. It is a unisex name but, like Wilder, it’s pretty uncommon so it doesn’t really matter. Also like Wilder, I do associate it with other masculine names (like Captain Jack Sparrow and Nicole Richie’s son), but since so many “bird names” are feminine and it’s currently used more for girls I’d still place it in the unisex category. You could use Birdie as a nickname too!
Me too. I automatically thought Wilder was for a boy (probably because of Oscar Wilde). It’s not a bad thing, but I would definitely say that it’s no Taylor/Jamie/Alex when it comes to being unisex.
I love Juniper! It does seem a bit on the daring side, but the nickname options of June or Junie make it seem more accessible I think. Plus, Junie B. Jones!
Magnolia strikes me as somewhat like Juniper. Botanical, uncommon, but with common nicknames (Maggie, Nola, Noli).
I’m not a fan of Wilder, sorry. I especially don’t care for it on a girl. It just seems like the teasing potential for her tween/teen/college years would be just a bit much.
I adore Iris and think it has good first name potential. I personally would probably shy away from Maribel, simply because there are so many “bell” names. I think that’d end up being the nickname & then it wouldn’t stand out so much. Other less common botanical names are Linnea & Lavender.
If you like Wren but don’t want a 1 syllable name, maybe Robin? It’s very uncommon these days. Sparrow? Oh, or Paloma, which means dove. Lady Bird Johnson’s first name was actually Claudia, so perhaps you could do something like that? Bridget also seems like it would nickname easily to Birdie. I’m sure there are other B names-Bernadette?
I LOVE the name Magnolia! I used to think it was a bit long and “flowery” sounding, but then I met a little girl with the name (she goes by Nolie) and I was surprised by how well it works. It’s a great name and the nickname options make it very usable.
I like Gwendolyn, if only b/c you could sneak in the Winnie nn sometimes by calling her Gwennie. (Might be a nn that just Mom calls her sometimes ;) ). Or Wendy is a cute nn that maybe he’d like better?
In the early seasons of Mad Men, Don would sometimes refer to his wife Betty as Birdie. Elizabeth, nn Birdie would be very cute and unusual.
I know of a little girl named Orlie, which I think is very cute and unique.
I have a Gwendolyn who goes by Gwennie quite a lot. It’s her at-home name. I toyed with calling her Wendy as a baby, and occasionally Gwendie comes out by mistake. :-)
I really like the suggestion of Rowan. It’s nature themed, has a W in it, and I think it’s uncommon enough that you wouldn’t have very many children in your classes named that, if any. Nicknames could be Ro or Row (maybe even Roo), Annie (due to the -an ending), or even Wren seems like a viable nickname! Even if you named her Rowan June, you could still call her Junie and June bug (super cute).
I love Rowan June, Rowan Maribel, Rowan Iris, Rowan Juniper.
I don’t think you should disregard Wren just because it’s one syllable. Sometimes the shortness of a name is what makes it so fantastic. a longer middle name can help make it more substantial. Wren Maribel Steffel, Wren Juniper Steffel. Wren Steffel sounds great. Nickname birdie is really cute.
I think situations where the end of one name blends with the beginning of the next name can either work, not work or be confusing.
It works fine when both names are common enough that they’re not likely to be mistaken for anything else, e.g.
William Meyer is unlikely to be misheard as William Eyer (although it’s possible)
It doesn’t work when if the blended sound is taken away it makes a different word, especially if it’s a more common word, e.g.
Waites Steffel blends together to become Waite Steffel (sounds more like a command than a name)
It’s confusing when the blended sound *could* make a different name but if you enunciate clearly it doesn’t have to be a problem, e.g.
Iris Steffel could be Ira Steffel
Cyrus Steffel could be Cyra Steffel
Cypress Steffel could be Cypress Teffel
In these situations probably the best thing to do if you really love an S ending name is to choose a more common name.
I like Juniper Maribel of your choices. Have you considered Cypress as a girls name?
I find Cypress Steffel very difficult to say.
Also what about Ivy? It’s botanical, girly, spunky and sweet! It’s not totally expected but not weird. Ivy Mirabel, Ivy Juniper, Ivy June, Ivy Wren, Ivy Wilder, Ivy Clara, Ivy Sloane, Ivy Gemma. I love Ivy June or Ivy Juniper because you could still use the super adorable nickname Junie or June bug. Or do you like just Mira instead of Mirabel? Mira Juniper is very nice. Mira Wilder is nice also.
Random, but I’ve been watching through “The Wonder Years” recently, and Winnie Cooper (awesome character who would be fun to share a name with!)’s name is actually Gwendolyn .. I always assumed it was Winifred! Anyway, I think if you really like Winnie, it could be your special nickname for some of the other names suggested if your husband isn’t opposed to that idea. It would also work for Rowan, for example (although, I say it more like “Row-in” .. not sure how you’d pronounce it), and of course Arwen or Bronwyn. I’ve heard of a little girl named Anwen, too, and love her name (it has that Tolkein feel without actually being a Lord of the Rings name, too, if you don’t want to go all out there ;).
Wow, the name Anwen might actually come from Arianwen ..that’s pretty, as well.
I love the Mirabel Iris suggestion. Or Mirabel Wilder. And Juniper/June/Junie .. all of those are lovely, also. You really can’t go wrong here! I hope you’re let us know what you choose :)
And, if Wren is too short for you, there are so many amazing ways to get there: Maren, Lauren, Florence, Serenity, Renee, Corena, etc.
This comment is all over the place, sorry!
We too considered naming our daughter Juniper. It’s a great name! Ultimately, we decided we weren’t crunchy enough to pull it off, and it didn’t really “fit” with our son’s name. Instead, we named our daughter June. She was June Bug for a while, and is often Junie now. We get a LOT of compliments on her name. It’s a name that is both familiar to adults yet rare among kids. To my surprise, we have yet to encounter another girl named June.
My (somewhat biased) vote is for June Steffel!
If you wanted to use Wren as a nickname, I would suggest naming her Serenity and calling her Wren. But you might think that Serenity to Wren to get Birdie is too much!
So I divide nature names into spunky and sweet. To me Juniper is sweet while Wilder is spunky. Other spunky favorites of mine are Ginger, Ruby, and Jasper (for a girl).
Maribel is lovely. If you want it more nature-y, you could do Marisol or Marigold. How cute is Marigold Steffel nn Goldie? I think that name is surprisingly versatile and dignified? Keep Wilder for a middle and you’ve got lots of options for more siblings but also keeping this name special if she’s your only.
First, I was so excited to see Kestrel on your list. I LOVE that name. I think you have a lot of good options, but I have to agree with other readers that Wilder does not read gender-neutral to me. I think of Almanzo Wilder immediately and would assume it’s a boy.
I’ve been really interested in botanical names and I like Briony/Bryony. Veronica is also a flower, and where I live, it’s an uncommon name for young people.
First, this whole post makes my heart sing- I love so many on your list and those suggested, I’m bookmarking it until the day comes I will need these for my own list!
I might only add some twists on your top picks- I’ve always kind of liked Juneau or Juna. I almost feel like I read a book with a Juna character that made a sweet impression- but darned if I can remember anything about it. It’s unusual but still rooted in the classic and just a step away from your fave Juniper.
If you and your husband like the idea of a “safe”, classical first name with a nature-themed nickname, do any of these suit your fancy?
Beatrice (Bee)
Cordelia (Coral)
Valentina (Valley)
Melinda (Linden)
Liberty (Birdie)
Or if you like the classical feeling with a current nickname, how do these strike you?
Nelliana (Nella)
Rowena (Rowan)
Solene (Sally)
Mirabel (Merry, Mira)
Estelle (Essie)
Genevieve (Ginny)
Rosemary (Romy)
As a small side note, the nickname of Orily sounds a lot like… well, inappropriate to have yelled through the halls of high school.
Really, Iris is just gorgeous. And since your last name doesn’t begin with an actual sibilant ‘S’ sound (it is a compound sound: ‘st’), the first name/surname combo seems reasonable. (In contrast, August Steffel gives the impression of a congested nose).
I feel your pain with being teachers and not wanting your child to share a name. Associations can be so strong, can’t they? To reiterate, Iris Maribel is fabulous!
Best wishes as you two find the perfect moniker for your perfect daughter! Your effort now will make others smile when they say her name. Please let us know what you pick after she’s arrived!
My son is Jude. Names we considered for girls were Esther, Greta and Jemima.
Iris reminds me of Ingrid with the great nickname of Iggy
June reminds me of Faye
I wonder if you’d like the Irish name Bridie in place of something you only kind of like to end up at the nickname Birdie?
Also, a general comment on naming your child specifically to derive your preferred nickname … Nicknames evolve naturally to reflect your child and don’t have to have an obvious connection to a given name. My son is known as Bear. This was the furthest thing from my mind when we named him Callum. But when he was two he pronounced his own name as Camum, which sounded awfully like Camembert which got us to Bear. I would have considered single motherhood if my husband had suggested Bear as a given name before he was born, but now it just fits.
Agree with AlexisWithAG: your name list is strong! You should come over for coffee!
1. “Birdie” as a nickname: I am sure you have considered and released Elizabeth because of its frequency. There are some pretty alternatives in German, like Bettina. It has some of the winsome charm of Adelaide, Emmeline, et al, with a bit of snap, like Nicoletta.
–This is Bettina Iris Steffel, I call her “Birdie” at home!
2. “J” names: Jasmine brings up a lot of Disney for some people, although it’s got a beautiful natural meaning. Jessamine is also redolent of the flower, and much less common. But most people can understand Jessie on the first try. JJS as initials: just pre-enroll her in law school, right? That could be a plus OR a minus.
–This is our little girl Jessamine June Steffel, but you can call her Jessie!
3. “G” names: Your Genevieve is gorgeous, and Gemma has been vetoed. And I bet you’ve looked at all the Georgie names. How about Virginia?
–Ginny, meet your cousin! Her full name is Virginia Maribel Steffel.
4. “W” names: Agree with Wilhemina from Swistle. I knew a woman with this name who went by Mina. And I remember loving the sound of the long EE.
–This is Mina Steffel. Her full name is Wilhelmina Iris Steffel.
I’m loving the idea of Birdie as a nickname, both because it’s adorable and spunky, and particularly because it’s the only name that you both love! The suggestions of Robin, Roberta, Bridget, Bernadette, Elizabeth, Bettina, and Abigail are all lovely. I’d add Alberta, Albany, Briar, Brenna, Bertha, Berenice, really any B- name!
I almost changed my mind about my daughter’s name shortly before my twins were born, but in the end we kept our original idea. Some degree of doubting your choice may be normal. I love Juniper Maribel. I would also like to suggest Florence with Wren as the nickname. Florence Maribel or Florence Juniper sound great.
Gwendolyn, Gwyneth, and Guinevere, all came to mind when I say that Winnie was on your list, but your husband doesn’t like it. Gwen seems to fit perfectly with your style. I would also add
Bronwen (again it’s got -wen in there)
Aderyn (a welsh bird name)
Morwena (means white wave, plus -wena)
Rowena (nature name and once again -wena is in there)
Wilder Iris Steffel is a tongue twister to me, but I do think the name Wilder is cute. What about Wilder Maribel Steffel or Wilder Orianna Steffel?
I really like Juniper Steffel. In general, I think 3 syllable names with the emphasis on the 1st syllable sound good with Steffel.
Juniper Wilder Steffel
Juniper Wren Steffel
Juniper Clara Steffel
From your list, I like:
Elodie Wren Steffel
Orianna Wren Steffel
From others’ suggestions, I like:
Willa Steffel
Gwendolyn (Gwen) Steffel
Sparrow Steffel
Claudia Steffel
Robin Steffel
Some suggestions of my own:
Colette Maribel Steffel
Nicola Wren Steffel (pronounced NICK-uh-lah)
Julia Wren Steffel
Juliette Steffel
Rowena Steffel
To me, the most unusual & poetic way to get to Birdie is Nightingale. But in my next breath, I also have to admit I could only recommend this as a middle name–it may be a bit too much out of the ordinary.
You have a lot of lovely names on your list! I think Maribel is both a very pretty name and a great, personally meaningful name. Iris Maribel would be my favorite. You said you don’t mind the “wild” part of Wilder, but when you pair it with Iris, it sounds very adjectival to me. This is Wild Iris, and over here is Wilder Iris.
I’d also agree with the many people who love June over Juniper. I think June or Juno are both great names that are not super common, but also not unheard of. Elodie, Kestrel, and Wren are also very sweet from your list. Maribel Wren, Elodie Kestrel, or June Elodie are all interesting combos.
Jemima is Hebrew for dove. I think you could use Birdie as a nickname for this one. Jemima Iris Steffel is nice. I also like Lorna for you, as it is a bit out of the ordinary.
I haven’t read all the comments but want to vouch for Juniper. We named our (now) 14month old Juniper and are so pleased with it. We call her Juni most of the time. Family sometimes calls her June-bug (not my fav but I get the sentiment. Her big sister called her Jooper before she got the pronunciation down and that was super cute and stuck for a while.
We have yet to meet another Juniper but have gotten primarily very positive response to the name. Even though many haven’t heard it as a name before, they are familiar with the word and don’t have trouble adapting to it, although we’ve gotten a couple “Jupiter”s that have made us laugh.
So I vote Juniper. :D
But we also considered Junia for a short time. Maybe that interests you?
What about Wiley as an alternative to Wilder? A flower girl at a recent friends wedding carried this name beautifully and it has stuck with me ever since.
Wiley Maribel Steffel could be quite lovely!
I know a little girl named Wilder and it is absolutely beautiful on her. I love it!