Sasha writes:

Just saw your site and I really love the in depth name discussions. I have a situation so I thought I would ask your advice.

My husband and I are expecting a baby girl in January. The name we have chosen is Victoria, namely because it has always been my favorite name. We are both Anglophiles, we love the regal sound and I like the fact that it is not in the top ten. Our last name is Marks, so Victoria Marks has a good British feel about it, even though we live in California.

Now the other night my husband had a dream that the baby was born and looked up at him and said “Hi my name is Zoe.” He now feels that she is more of a person to him as Zoe than as Victoria. We are thinking of naming her Victoria Zoe and he has started to refer to her as Zoe.

I still want to call her Victoria, as that is the name I love in my heart, but I am also open if Zoe is indeed the better name for her. This is my first and will be my only child. So my questions are: has anyone had a name shake up and how did you feel about it afterwards, and, is it possible for a baby to “choose” her own name, so to speak, in a situation like this?

I am looking forward to your thoughts on this.

The question is not whether I believe it’s possible for a baby to choose its own name, but whether YOU believe it. Do you believe that each fetus has its own inherent name even before birth (as opposed to the name chosen according to the parents’ tastes), and that the fetus can broadcast that name telepathically into its father’s dream?

If you do believe this, then the child’s first name should be Zoe: she has specifically chosen it (or, depending on which belief we’d be going with, has come to understand that it is hers), and has specifically and clearly told you. Ignoring those wishes and giving her a name you KNEW wasn’t hers would be a serious decision.

If you instead believe that people have many dreams about their babies-to-be, and that those dreams are dreams rather than prophesies or truth-revealing communications, then you can continue to do what parents generally do, which is to choose the name themselves.

My own dream experience has not been one of truths revealed. During my pregnancies I sometimes dreamed a baby boy was a boy, and sometimes dreamed he was a girl. Sometimes I dreamed he was born way too early, or that he was something other than a baby, or that he died, or that I gave birth to him at home, or that he was blonde, or that I wasn’t pregnant at all. Sometimes the dreams happened to correspond to reality, and most of the time they didn’t.

So in your shoes, I would see a husband’s dream as a fun story that we might want to incorporate into the naming process if we happened to agree on the name anyway. I’d go with your plan: sticking with your original agreed-upon name choice rather than dramatically switching styles, and using the dream name as a fun middle name as well as a nickname for her daddy to call her. Victoria Zoe Marks is a wonderful name, and Z. is a very fun initial, and the naming story is a highly enjoyable one.

Kristin writes:

I am pregnant with twin boys and in my 36th week. I had a pre-term labor scare a few weeks ago and have been on bed rest ever since, so these boys could arrive at any moment. The one thing left on our to-do list is to come up with names.

We have an older daughter whose name we absolutely love, Lila. Lila is classic, elegant, easy to say and spell, old fashioned, yet contemporary and it suits her to a tee. Grace is her middle name – it’s a family name that was coincidentally present on both my husband’s and my side of the family. So it was a no brainer that our daughter would take that as her middle name. Our last name sounds like Squelch but with a “W”. Therefore, we want boys names that aren’t too harsh sounding. My husband’s name is Evan and mine is Kristin.

Requirements are that the first name be two or more syllables, doesn’t start with W and isn’t be in the top 100 names. I also don’t want matchy, rhymey names or names that start with the same letter for our twin boys. Unfortunately, we can’t seem to agree on any names and neither of us loves the options we’ve come up with either. We feel like we’ll never love any boy’s names as much as we love Lila’s.

My first name ideas: Bryson, Everett, Bennett, Emmett, Emerson, Avery and Grayson

My middle name ideas: Owen, Miles and Alexander

My husband’s first and middle name ideas: Miles, Max, Jason and Earl

My husband like Miles and Max as first names. But Max paired with our last name sounds like a single first name. Also, I don’t like the M and M theme or the fact that they are monosyllabic. I’d like a better flow with our last name. I really like Everett Miles but the fact that my husband wants to use Miles as a first name and Everett is so close to my husband’s name Evan, makes me question it. “Hi, I’m Evan and this is my son Everett.” Sounds odd, right? My husband doesn’t like Bennett because he worries about him being nicknamed Benny. But I love the meaning – blessed. Emerson reminds him of the band Emerson, Lake and Palmer. Does anybody have that association these days? He also dislikes Owen but I like that it is a variation of the name Evan. So, in essence, it’s a tribute to my husband. He has also mentioned Jason which is his first name and his father’s name. I don’t love the name but I’m willing to consider it probably more as a middle name because I’d like to stick with classic old timey names as a theme for our kids and don’t really think it goes with Lila. Another one of his suggestions is Earl, his father’s middle name. Certainly better as a middle name than first but kind of old sounding. Any ideas for us?

I will start by suggesting that your goal not be to find names you love as much as Lila’s name. The name Lila has already become synonymous with your much-loved daughter; any new names are unlikely to measure up until they’ve had time to become your sons. It’s also possible that boy names you love as much as Lila’s name don’t exist—and yet you would nevertheless need to choose names. So instead, I suggest the more attainable goal of finding your favorite two boy names.

And in fact, I might start by finding ONE favorite boy name. An exercise that can be useful when naming twins (especially if you don’t want any twin-name gimmick) is to pretend you are expecting just one baby boy, and find a name for him; then pretend it is some time later and you are expecting another single baby boy, and find a name for HIM.

Looking at your lists, the pairing that stands out to me is Miles and Everett. Like the name Lila, both are old-fashioned yet contemporary names. They’re coordinated but not matchy in any way. You’ve got Miles down as a one-syllable name, but I say it with two syllables: my-yuls. Evan and Everett seem too similar for brothers, but not for a father/son; I think the mild connection is nice, and that the frequency of it seeming strange in an introduction is likely to be very low. I do wonder if Lila and Miles are too similar, though; they do share a lot of sounds.

If Everett continues to seem too close to your husband’s name, and if Miles doesn’t seem too close to Lila, my next choice is Miles and Bennett. I think as long as your son doesn’t himself choose to go by Benny later on, you can avoid the nickname.

My concern with Emerson isn’t the band but the usage: currently it’s used more often for girls. The name Avery, too, is currently used much more often for girls. If you use either name, I suggest using both: Emerson and Avery are very compatible names. I’d use them with boyish middle names, for clarity; perhaps Emerson Miles and Avery Bennett, or Emerson Earl and Avery Jason if you’d like to use the family names. Lila, Emerson, and Avery.

I see a lot of -ett and -son on your list, so I think I’d explore that for more possibilities. I’ll avoid very common names, but I’m ignoring the arbitrary Top-100 cut-off: since some of the names on your list are Top 100, I’ll assume you mean “not very common” (i.e., not Mason) as opposed to “#101 is fine, but #100 is not.”

Elliot is one of my own favorites, though maybe it’s too much L with a sister Lila. I might pair it with Oliver, and then perhaps the L sound is unifying rather than duplicating: Lila, Elliot, and Oliver.

Or perhaps I’d pair it with Simon, so that one boy shares the L sound and the other shares the long-I: Lila, Elliot, and Simon.

Garrett is another possibility. Perhaps we could pair one -ett name and one -son name! Garrett and Harrison. Garrett and Anderson. Garrett and Davison. Or replace Garrett with Beckett—there was a character named Lyla Garrity on the television show Friday Night Lights; I’m not sure how many people would think of it with a Lila and a Garrett. Anderson and Beckett for Baby A and Baby B, if you like a leeeeeetle twin-name gimmick. Or Beckett and Harrison, or Beckett and Davison, or Beckett and Thompson.

I love the name Henry with Lila. Henry works well with Simon, Oliver, Everett, Emmett, Elliot, Miles, Grady, Isaac, Frederick—lots of names.

We recently did another question about twin boys, and I got caught up in the fantasy of naming twin boys and made a bit of a list; perhaps that might be of some use. Some of those pairs are a little matchier than you’re looking for, but individual names might stand out. Henry and Malcolm. Harris and Calvin. Emmett and Louis. Ian and Leo. Davis and Simon. Gideon and Ruben.

Jennifer writes:

I really love your blog and have been following it since I was pregnant with my son.  My husband and I are expecting our second child, a girl, at the end of Oct. this year.  We’re having a difficult time coming up with a name.  My husband’s name Michael Ferreira and my name is Jennifer Dai-Ferreira.  We’ve decided on a Vietnamese middle name to pay tribute to my heritage.  The middle name will be “An” pronounced like the name “Ann”.  It means peace in Vietnamese.  We have a 3 year old son named Nicolas Vi Ferreira.  His middle name is also Vietnamese and means vitality or strength.  It was also the name of my great grandfather. 

My husband and I are considering the following names for our baby girl:

Madeleine

Penelope

Giselle

Sophie

My favourite is Giselle but I don’t think it works with the middle name ‘An’.  I’m considering adding another middle name before An but I’m afraid it may be too cumbersome.

As for the name Madeleine, I’m afraid it may sound too old fashion and I don’t like the nickname ‘Maddy’.  I would prefer ‘Leni’. 

I like the name Penelope but I’m not in love with it.

I also like the name Sophie but I’m not sure it’s a name that could carry her from childhood into adulthood.

Since both my name and my husband’s name are so common, we would like to give our daughter a less common name.  There were always at least two other Jennifer‘s in my class growning up.

Lastly, I want to give her a name that will withstand the test of time and will serve her well wherever her life and career takes her.

Any suggestions would be welcomed!

If it’s important to avoid common names, Madeleine and Sophie are both probably out. The Social Security Administration lists Sophie as the 51st most popular girl name in the United States—but Sofia is the 19th, and Sophia is number one. And adding up the various spellings of Madeleine, Madeline, Madalyn, Madelyn, Madilyn, etc., brings that right into the Top Ten.

Madeleine, furthermore, can feel like it’s in a group with the other Maddy/Addy names (Madison, Addison, Adelyn, etc.), which may make it feel even more common than Sophie/Sophia/Sofia: a classroom with only one Madeleine but also a Madison, and Addison, and an Adelyn may feel similar to a classroom with two or three Jennifers. This feeling could be significantly reduced if she goes by Leni—but I think that nickname might be a hard-sell for a public so accustomed to the Madeleine/Maddy combination, a bit like trying to get a Jennifer called anything but Jen or Jenny: possible, but challenging.

The good news about the names’ popularity means that Madeleine definitely doesn’t sound old-fashioned right now, and Sophie will definitely be considered a childhood-to-adulthood name (though you could also use Sophia and nickname her Sophie). And since the current #1 most popular girl name in the United States is only used about 1/3rd or 1/4th as much as the name Jennifer was in its #1-status prime, perhaps neither one is so common it needs to be ruled out.

Penelope is less common but is currently doing a bit of a race up in popularity; it’s hard to know where that will end up. Penelope An is adorable, however, and Penelope is currently only the 169th most popular girl name. For perspective, the Social Security Administration reports than in 2011 there were 28,980 baby girls named Sophia/Sofia, and another 4,690 named Sophie, but only 1,847 named Penelope.

I think your favorite is also great, and that Giselle An Ferreira works just fine. The name Giselle is slightly more common than the name Penelope (there were 2,030 new baby girls named Giselle in 2011), but it feels LESS common because it’s been doing less leaping-and-bounding up the charts. It has been rising, perhaps because of the currently popular -elle ending, but seems to have tapered off for now.

If you had a back-up choice for the middle name, Gillian/Jillian or Gianna would be similar options. Ooo, or Geneva or Genevieve or Georgia or Josephine or Annabel! Or Gemma or Noelle or Lena. And I always think of Fiona when I’m considering Sophia, but I’m not sure how well that goes with the surname.

Bethany writes:

I currently have two children with names I love- Daniel Henry and Elsa Catherine. I am pregnant again and am considering these names: William Henry and Clara Catherine. The thing I like about the middle names is how well it flows with our last name, Hyde. We do call the kids by all three names quite often. My spouse thinks this idea is nuts, and I am just wishing that I named our son William instead Daniel and our daughter Catherine instead of Elsa.  He may be right, I may have to mourn the perfect names William Henry Hyde and Clara Catherine Hyde.

Unless the Swistle Baby Naming Cohort thinks its not too odd to share middle names.

My vote is that it’s not too odd! I think of the middle name as a perfect place to…PLAY, I guess. It’s where you can do things you wouldn’t do with a first name: for example, use names that are not really your style but you love them anyway, or use names that have deal-breakers such as bad nicknames or bad initials or a problem with your surname, or use names that are too way-out-there or too overly-common for your preferences, or use names that would have clashed with sibling names—or use duplicate names.

The one downside is that I think once you do it, you have to do it for all the siblings of that sex (and maybe also for the siblings of the other sex), which can make first-name selection difficult. You don’t actually, literally HAVE to, but the pressure would be intense, and NOT doing it would take it from a fun “This is a cool bonding thing we do in our family!” (with the fun possibility that the children might grow up to do a version of it with their own children) to an odd “Hey, how come they get their own names and I don’t?”

Lanie writes:

My husband and I are expecting our first child (a girl) in December. We have already settled on the name Everleigh. In fact, there were really no other first names we were considering for a girl. We are trying to find the most perfect middle name, but are having a hard time finding a middle name to go with Everleigh. Our last name is O‘Donner, but with a C. 

My husbands top choices in this order are:

Paige

Aspen

Lil

We also considered a family name Lillienne for a middle name before we came up with Everleigh (but vetoed it because it seems to heavy on the “L’s”). I’m not sure I want to start the family names with our first and feel we need to keep that tradition up for subsequent children. I like the idea of our child having his/her own identity. Although my husband did okay “Lil” to be on the middle name list for my grandmother who goes by Lil nearly exclusively. Again, heavy on the “L’s”, but it’s a short one syllable name with meaning for us.

I like Everleigh Paige, but feel that we just picked Paige arbitrarily because it sounded nice. I feel like there could be a better middle name out there. Our styles are decorative names that feel a little old fashioned, that are different, not in the top 1000 (but for the middle name is okay) and bring in some nature words. For instance, we plan on Ever for a nn. Because Everleigh seems so illustrious when written out, I feel she needs a shorter middle name with less syllables, and more meaning. I’ve done some google searches and found out that other people that named their daughters Everleigh named the middle names “Skye”, “True”, and “Rae”. I feel like we need a similarly short name, that is pretty and meaningful or strong.

Aspen is on the list because we both love nature and it was one of the only ones we could agree on. I just am worried it might be too “granola” of a name, which points us back to Paige.

My husband vetoed:

Claire

Lux (to heavy on the “L’s” again), but I liked the idea of a short one syllable name meaning “light”

And I vetoed:

Quinn (although I have to admit it sounds nice, I’m just not a fan of the name)

Siobhan (too much Irish for me with our last name)

To give you an idea, our boys names list was:

Lachlan Blaze

Chase River

Brahm Hayden

I liked all of these names so much, I was relieved when finding out we were having a girl so I didn’t have to choose between them. 

Can you give me some ideas and opinions about middle names that are one syllable (or two) that might flow well with Everleigh? Your website is the best resource I have found for baby naming ideas, and I would love to get this settled in my mind. My husband is perfectly fine with Everleigh Paige, but he is open to hearing something that might be better. That will probably be her name if we don’t figure something else out, but something bothers me that I am not feeling like “Yes! That will be her name!!”

Thanks for all your help!

The middle name position is an especially nice place for any name you liked very much but without wanting to use it as a first name. If, for example, you really liked the name Rose but not with your surname, it would make a great middle name. Or if you initially loved the simplicity of names like Anne or Jane or June or Mae but then realized they weren’t your naming style, they too would make great middle names.

I found when I was thinking it over that I’m with you on the L sounds: Claire is one of my favorite names and it’s great with the rhythm of Everleigh—but I don’t like it as much as I like Everleigh Anne or Everleigh Rose.

The middle name is also a nice place for a meaningful sentiment name, especially with the nickname Ever making a little motto out of it:

Amore
Constance
Faith
Grace
Hope
Joy
Justice
Love
Mercy
Patience
Peace
Promise
Prudence
Sage

For something more naturey:

Acacia
Bay
Brook
Daisy
Fern
Fleur
Garland
Iris
Jade
Juniper
Lake
Lark
Linden
Pearl
Rain
Rose
Rowan
Sage
Spring
Violet
Willow
Wren

Sage seems like one of the best from the lists: it’s very similar to your frontrunner Paige, but it has both attribute and nature associations. And Ever Sage (“always wise”) is a great motto.

Jade also has some of the same sound as Paige, but with a nature association.

I think my own picks would be Everleigh Joy, Everleigh Garland, and Everleigh Spring.

Ashley writes:

I’ve been reading your blog daily for over a year now, well before I was even pregnant, and I’m a huge fan! Since I’m one of those people that have been naming my future children since I was 8, I’m surprised and frustrated that we are having so much trouble. I am currently 33 weeks, due in mid September. We do not know the gender, which has been quite the fete after requiring an amnio and several ultrasounds. With everyone around us (doctors, techs, etc.) knowing the gender, Ive gotten the vibe it’s a boy. My husband however, is convinced it’s a girl. One of us is going to be very surprised!

Anyways, here is some background on us. My name is Ashley Bray, husband is James Anderson and our last name is Tune (spelled differently).

We are pretty set on the boys name, James Wiley and he will go by Wiley. My father in law is James Russell, my husband is James Anderson, so we like the idea of keeping with this tradition. However, both my husband and FIL go by Jim, and it gets really confusing at times, so we want him to go by his middle name. I love that Wiley is unique, but a name most people have heard of before. Possible future brother name is Drake (my maiden name).

Now for the real problem, finding a girls name we both like. My style is last names at first and/or androgynous. I don’t like anything too girly/frilly or overly popular. My husband on the other hand seems to be stuck in the 70’s and 80’s with his naming style.

We would like to use the middle name Bray (my middle name and grandmother’s maiden name) as long as it works well with the first name we decide on.

My list of faves that hubby has vetoed:
Campbell (soup association)
Rowan (because he has a rowing machine…crazy, I know!)
Finley (his neighbor growing up’s last name)
Leighton
Arden

His list:
Nicole-nickname Nix
Allison
Jessica

Names we agree on:
Ellis
Lowen/Lowan (rhymes with Owen)
Nix

However, I have issues with each of these names. Is Ellis too close to all the Elle, Ella and Ellie’s out there? Does Lowen/Lowan seem like a made up name? And Nix is ok, but I would want a better full name. Nicole is too old school, I don’t care for Nicolette and Nixon has a negative association. Can you think of any other names Nix could be short for?

I would greatly appreciate any other name ideas you and your readers have for us.

Thanks!

Ha, yes, your husband definitely has ’70s/’80s style going on there. I don’t know why this is a problem for so many men! Maybe they are less likely to be around little kids, or less likely to think about baby names? I swear that when Paul and I were naming babies he just thought, “Hm, who did I go to high school with?” and made his list from that!

Sometimes it helps to find names similar to the ones someone likes, but more current—just to sort of eeeeease them into it. Instead of Nicole: Nola, Nora, Nadia, Victoria, Annika, Colette, Logan. Instead of Allison: Addison, Adelyn, Emerson, Ellison. Instead of Jessica: Annika, Gemma, Veronica, Danica, Genevieve, Josephine.

But after seeing his reasons for vetoing other names (you can’t use Rowan because he…has a rowing machine?), I’m not sure that will help. It may need to be a swift firm explanation: “No, honey, those are the mom names now. Here, take a look at the current Social Security list.”

Would he like any names similar to the names on your list? Brinley instead of Finley? Payton instead of Leighton? Arwen or Garnet instead of Arden?

Ellis has almost certainly come into style because of other popular El- names. It’s much less common, but may still have a “group” feel to it. Ellery and Ellison are other possibilities; Ellison is particularly awesome because of how similar-yet-different it is to your husband’s idea of Allison. If you wanted to avoid the El- grouping, you could consider Hollis.

Lowen ought to be a gorgeous, distinctive choice, but Lindsay Lohan has ruined it for me. She and her struggles will, one hopes, not dominate the name for ever—but sometimes celebrities go on for decades, continuing to be well known mainly for their various issues. It would worry me—and yet the more I say Lowen, the more I want to find a way for you to use it. My mom came upon the name Elowen awhile back, and I wonder if that would fit the bill: no Lohan association, the El- of Ellis, the -owen of Rowan, and even some of the sounds of Nicole and Allison.

Because I’ve never encountered Nix as a name or nickname, my only association is with the word nix, as in to veto or say no to. Well, and also some Nixon, of course, and some rock star association because of Stevie Nicks and Nikki Sixx. I think it would sound cute (more like how Nicki sounded to our parents: sassy but sweet) once I knew a little girl with the name, but I agree with you that it should be a nickname. You could use it as a nickname for Lennox, which I think meets your other preferences: not too girly, and it’s a surname name. Lennox Tune, nickname Nix.

It’s perhaps a stretch, but Nix could also be short for Annika or Danica.

Rachel writes:

My husband is Nick and I’m Rachel. Our last name is Watson. We’re having a boy on November 7 and have a name that we really love. It’s John. The problem is that our son would share his name with the doctor in the Sherlock Holmes stories.

Sometimes it seems like a big deal, since there have been quite a few Sherlock Holmes films and TV shows lately and it’s a well known character. Other times I just think that it’s not like it’s the name of an evil character or anything bad and just not important at all really.

We’re planning to call him John and don’t like Jonathan or Jack. The middle name will be Nicholas.

Oh, how interesting! I am moderately familiar with the Sherlock Holmes stories (have read some recreationally, and also had to study a couple of them in school), so I’m definitely familiar with Watson, and he would be my first association if someone gave a child the first name Watson. But somehow I had not retained the information that Watson’s first name was John; I think of him as “Watson,” and that’s it. And, as you say, Watson is a GOOD character, not a bad guy or anything.

It has been a long time since I read/studied a Sherlock Holmes story, however, and I haven’t seen any of the recent movies or television shows, so my Sherlock Holmes knowledge is hardly what I’d call FRESH. Also, I am extremely biased, because I love the name John and I fervently want you to be able to use it.

So I think we need a poll, to let cooler heads prevail. As usual for this sort of situation, I want to divide the “it’s a problem”/”it’s not a problem” opinions into two groups: those who knew already that John was Watson’s first name, and those who didn’t. [Poll closed; see results below.]

Poll results for “The name John Watson” (512 votes total):

I knew Watson’s first name; it’s a problem – 35 votes (7%)
I knew Watson’s first name; it’s not a problem – 127 votes (25%)
I didn’t know Watson’s first name; it’s a problem – 10 votes (2%)
I didn’t know Watson’s first name; it’s not a problem – 334 votes (65%)
I can’t decide – 6 votes (1%)

Deanne writes:

I am currently almost 10 weeks pregnant with sweet baby number 5.  We will not find out the gender of the baby until D-day sometime in February.  When our last child was born, she was nameless for almost 24 hours because we couldn’t decide on a name that sounded good with our other kiddos’ names.  We now have one boy (Bradley Allen) and three girls (Molly Joy, Lily Faith and Karly Grace).  We would like to stick with the “lee” sound ending and a “y” at the end so our kids all have that common theme in their names.

We have discussed these girl first names (middle name is set on Hope):

Elly
Kelly
Ashley
Emily
Zelly

Hubby has his heart set on Riley Allen for a boy name, but I am open to suggestions. :)

Any help or ideas would be much appreciated!

In larger sibling groups, I find it can be a helpful exercise to divide the boys from the girls. So, for example, I’d look for a brother name for Bradley, and then double-check to see how well it would go with the sister names; and then I’d look for a sister name for Molly, Lily, and Karly, and then double-check to see how well it would go with the brother name.

I think Riley makes a very nice brother name for Bradley, and also goes well with Molly, Lily, and Karly. Other possibilities:

Charley
Conley
Connolly
Donnelly
Finley
Huxley
Presley
Rawley
Ridley
Wesley
Westley

Now I hold those candidates up to Molly, Lily, and Karly. Rawley rhymes or almost rhymes with Molly. Charley rhymes with Karly. Finley is a little tricky because it’s being used for girls more than boys (given to 502 boys and 874 girls in 2011, according to the Social Security Administration). There’s a similar issue with the name Riley; there are a ton of spellings, but looking just at the Riley spelling, it was given to 3427 boys and 5002 girls in 2011, according to the Social Security Association. Adding up the thousands of girls named Rileigh, Rilee, Rylee, Ryleigh, Rylie, Ryley, Reilly, etc., puts it even more tipped toward the girls. And Presley has this issue too, given to 1384 girls and only 123 boys in 2011.

Ridley might be too close to Bradley.

I like how Wesley and Westley would give him a nickname comparable to Brad: Brad and Wes, Brad and West.

Girl names are easier, because so many girl names end in the -ly sound. The challenge with girl names is finding a name that works well in style with but doesn’t sound too similar to her sister’s names; I’d be looking for something with a distinctly different set of sounds—a different starting sound, ideally, and/or a different primary vowel sound, and/or some different consonant sounds. From your list of girl names, Elly seems too similar to Lily, and Kelly may be too similar to Karly. Other possibilities:

Ainsley
Amberly
Aracely
Bailey
Berkeley
Briarley
Briley
Brinley
Cecily
Emberley
Everly
Hailey
Lesley
Kenley
Kinley
Mckinley
Nataly
Paisley
Tenley

Brinley, Briley, and Briarley might be too similar to Bradley.

Because Molly, Lily, and Karly are all familiar names, I’d be inclined to stick to another familiar name for a fourth girl. And since they’re all strictly feminine names, I’d be inclined to stick to another feminine name. Names that meet those two preferences: Cecily, Hailey, Lesley, and Nataly. Ashley and Emily from your list would also meet those preferences.

Alexandra writes:

I’m a long time blog reader and am pregnant with my first baby, a little girl. My husband and I are thrilled and cannot wait to meet her in early November but are having trouble thinking about names. I actually had a nightmare that our poor baby girl was nameless for several months after her birth. We can’t have this happen!

Since I’ve been reading your blog for a long time one of the first things I did once we started to think about names was to go out and buy the “Baby Name Wizard” book and re-read your post, “Baby Naming Advice for First Time Parents.” We took your advice and started to think about our naming style and future sibling names. Pretty much right away it was clear to us that our naming style was antique charm. I like almost every name on the list! However, here is the issue, while I seem to like all these names, none of them are standing out to me and none are entering into the love category. If this baby were a boy we would have named him Leo or Everett (love these both). Our last name is Br@y which doesn’t pose too many limitations.

We don’t have many name restrictions in mind so are not sure why this is so difficult! We are also both Canadians with a French Canadian background so prefer the French spellings of the names in the antique charm style. The only thing I will say is that we don’t want a name that is too popular (i.e. top 10). The top 10 in Canada and the US are actually very similar so we’ve been consulting the SSA website.

Here are a few of the names that we like from the antique charm style:

–    Nora
–    Evelyne
–    Vivienne
–    Lucie
–    Leila

For middle names we would like to use a family name. Some options (but we really haven’t even gotten this far yet):

–    Catherine
–    Marie
–    Cynthia
–    Barbara
–    Rose
–    Irene

Please help us get out of our rut! None of these names seem like our baby and I can’t seem to think of any new possibilities outside of this naming style. Thanks so much!

P.S – We promise to send an update with an adorable baby photo. :-)

When The Baby Name Wizard‘s Antique Charm category is not quite the thing, I often find success in the Exotic Traditionals and Ladies and Gentlemen categories: they feel to me like more extreme versions of the names in Antique Charm.

I would also play the game I like to play with that book: I look up each name on my list, and then I look at the sibling names suggested by the author for that name, and I pick one brother or sister name and go look up THAT name and look at THOSE sibling names—and so on. It’s Choose-Your-Own-Adventure baby naming! Sometimes I find myself in a loop of names I love, which tells me I’ve got a good consistent list; sometimes I find new candidates to consider; sometimes I find that I’m disappointed/glad to see certain names mentioned, which tells me more about my preferences; sometimes I dead-end in an area where none of the names appeal, so I start over with a new name.

Another game I play is to brainstorm names similar to the ones on my list—either off the top of my head, or by looking in a baby name dictionary, or by searching the name database for name segments (ora, lyn, enne, cie, lei, etc.). So for example, your list of five might turn into something like this:

Nora
Cora
Clara
Lorelei
Nadia
Eleanor
Elora
Flora
Honora
Lara
Maura
Aurora
Rory
Evelyne
Adeline
Evangeline
Genevieve
Eva
Linnea
Eliza
Eloise
Vivienne
Olivia
Liviana
Vanessa
Anneliese
Lucienne
Violette
Adrienne
Adrianna
Lucie
Lacey
Lucienne
Luciana
Lucia
Ruthie
Sylvie
Simone
Mercy
Tessa
Cecily
Celeste
Leila
Lily
Lila
Lena
Stella
Willa
Celia
Noelle

Partly this is to get new ideas, but partly this is because I’ve found that the more I play around with the names I’m considering, the more likely it is a favorite will begin to emerge. This is why I also recommend other games such as Future Sibling Names, name ranking, Imagined Scenarios, examining movie/television credits—and also, taking breaks from it to let the names simmer.

To play the Future Sibling Names game, let’s look at Leo and Everett. If you used Evelyne, would that rule out Everett? Would using Leila rule out Leo? If so, which of each pair of names do you prefer? You probably wouldn’t want to give up a girl name you love for a maybe-never-existing chance to use a boy name—but if you greatly prefer the boy name and are equally torn between several girl names, deciding to save the possible future brother name could help you choose between the girl-name candidates.

Playing with first/middle combinations can also be a helpful game. Maybe all five candidates feel about the same, but when you pair one of them with a certain middle name, that combination seems perfect. Nora Catherine. Vivienne Rose. Lucie Irene. Clara Catherine. Cecily Rose.

Or perhaps while playing with the family names for the middle name position, one of THOSE will rise to the top. Catherine Br@y or Rose Br@y would be lovely.

C. writes:

Ok, here is one for you. We debated for a long time between Penelope and Calliope. [Note from Swistle: And chose Penelope: see post and update.] Given the recent name choice of the kardashian baby, we are seriously considering changing the name to Calliope. We are afraid of the follow on effect with kardashian followers… Are we overreacting?

I would not change it. I had a brief feeling of “Oh no!” when I heard the name of the Kardashian/Disick baby (I’m not expecting any more children, but Penelope is still on my favorites list and I prefer that list to stay safe)—and I found that feeling dissipated within days. If I’d answered this when you sent it, I would have been very conflicted about an answer—but even a week and a half later, I feel clear on it: no need to change. The name still belongs to the world.

It helps even more than you used the name before they did: while no doubt many expectant parents are right this minute reconsidering the name Penelope (either suddenly interested in it or suddenly scrambling for a new name), no one could expect you to change a 6-week-old’s name (or, if it happens again with another celebrity, a 2-year-old’s, a 6-year-old’s, or a 10-year-old’s name) just because a celebrity coincidentally used the name.

What does everyone else think? Remember, this is not about whether you’d prefer the name Calliope—the name they’d be changing it to is irrelevant. (If it helps, imagine the other name to be one you like equally as well as Penelope.) The question is only about whether Kourtney Kardashian’s baby Penelope should cause an already-born-and-named baby to be renamed the parents’ second choice. Let’s have a poll over to the right. [Poll closed; see results below.]