Kate writes:

Help! My fiance’s cousin has named her baby Daemon. With an e. Pronounced like Damon, Dame-On. To me, daemon means demon. Not Damon.

Has Daemon become an acceptable alternative to Damon? Is it just those of us with a knowledge of Greek who instantly think demon? Or am I right, and this kid’s going to be called Devil…?

If it’s the former, how would you go about raising it? Would you raise it at all?

I, too, immediately think “demon.” According to Wikipedia, the spelling “daemon” means something a little different. WHAT it means is still unclear to me: that particular Wikipedia entry I couldn’t quite understand even after reading it three times. Well, and it doesn’t really matter, does it, if a daemon can be good or bad while a demon is always bad? The name is still making at least you and me (and probably others) think immediately of demons.

Now, as to how I’d raise the issue with the new parents. I wouldn’t raise it. If someone were pregnant and considering the name Daemon and asked my opinion, I might say something, although I’d be verrrrrry careful saying it: I don’t know if everyone is like this, but I’m touchy and defensive about names I like, so I’d assume the same about the person I was talking to, just in case.

But if the baby is born and the name is given, I don’t think I’d utter a single peep. It will be difficult not to say anything, but the chances of them changing the baby’s name at this point are slim to none, and the chances of them shooting the messenger are high. Either they know and they did it on purpose (are they mythology buffs? gamers? computer geeks?), or they’re oblivious and not likely to be seeking enlightenment. At this point, it’s Game Over.

The 2007 baby name information is up at the Social Security site: http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames/. This is the real list based on actual birth certificates, not that stupid sham list Baby Center puts out based on a survey of their non-representative readership. Shammers!

By the way, as Jess Loolu points out, the name Nevaeh (Heaven spelled backward) is now number THIRTY-ONE. And I still can’t remember how to pronounce it.

Also, I would like to point out that reversing or inverting things is, traditionally, the way to make them the opposite, or evil. Upside-down crosses, upside-down flags, upside-down stars, backwards lyrics: all very bad. Perhaps it would be better to go with a name like Christina or Angel or Heaven, if that’s the effect you want. JUST SAYING.

Lindsay writes:

I just found this blog, and it is just what I need at the moment! Immediate moment. I’m due in less than a week with our second baby girl, and we need naming advice. My husband is Greek, and in fact we live in Greece at the moment. I’m American. Our first daughter is named Audrey Victoriana. Her middle name covers all honoring of relatives that we were obliged to do, so we are free to name the second as we wish – as long as the first name is Greek (this is my husband’s wish since Audrey is not Greek at all). Our last name starts with a D, ends with a S and is 2 syllables, 6 letters.

While there are a ton of beautiful Greek girl names, we don’t want anything too common here or anywhere. So we have settled on either Lena (my pick) or Thalia (his pick). The first bit of advice needed is what do you think of Thalia? Originally I didn’t like it all all – mostly because of the beginning “Th” sound. It has definitely grown on me, but I’m still not totally in love with it. My husband loves it because even living in Athens most of his life, he has never met a Thalia.

My second issue is the middle name. My favorite girl name is Scarlett. If we had a third girl sometime in the future, I could finally use this name….but chances are, we’re done with babies, and I want to use the name. But Lena Scarlett D _____ has the initials LSD…should I care about this? I don’t want to scar her for life, but is it really that important? While Lena Scarlett is nice, I think that there are other names that sound better with Lena – Lena Rose, Lena Mae, Lena Josephine, etc. Thalia Scarlett poses no problem intial-wise, and I’m quite happy with the flow.

So there are my issues. Advice, opinions, thoughts are all welcome!

The first question is, What do we think of the name Thalia? I looked up the Greek pronunciation of it, and it looks like the first half is pronounced somewhere between “TAL” and “t’HAL” (rhymes with Hal and shall), and the second half is pronounced somewhere between “yuh” and “ee-uh.” The emphasis is on the first half. I think it’s beautiful name.

Lena is also a beautiful name. I do think Lena is a better international choice, not that I know Thing One about international names—but Lena has fewer tricky sounds. Still, I think both names are great. Let’s make the first poll a simple choice between the two names. [Poll closed; see below.]

Now. Initials, and whether it’s okay for them to spell something. When I choose my babies’ names, my answer to that is no. I don’t even like the initials to spell something good. But that’s purely a matter of personal taste, not of universally-agreed-upon okayness or not-okayness. So let’s make the second poll a question of what people think of the initials LSD. [Poll closed; see below.]

If you’re not entirely pleased with the rhythm of the names that spell LSD, it may be a moot issue. Perhaps you could make the first name the deciding factor on that: if you use your choice for first name, you could save the name Scarlett just in case; if your husband gets his choice for first name, you could use the name you love as the middle name.

Weigh in, everyone!

[Poll results:

Thalia: 54 votes
Lena: 48 votes

LSD is fine: 40 votes
LSD is not fine: 58 votes]

Kate writes:

We are about to have baby number 4 but are unaware of the gender as yet. We both have Irish heritage and have used Irish middle names for our first 3 children. They are Eliza Bernadette, Thomas Patrick and Charlotte Mary. Our surname is a bit tricky…starts with an O and is a bit like elephant.

My husband and I are having real trouble with a boy’s name for this baby, but have managed to agree on Isabelle (although I quite like Maggie) for a girl. My husband only likes 3 boy’s names:

1) Henry. I don’t like the way this name is said in our country…very nasal and almost a ‘HInry’. He says we can name him Henry but call him Harry, an English tradition. I am not so keen on this idea, as I think it will require constant explanations for the child. Think I would prefer the name Harry itself but he is not so keen.

2) Joseph. He would probably be Joe at our place (Thomas is Tom or Tommy unless he is in trouble!), which is okay but I don’t love it.

3) James. Every second boy we know is called James and once again i don’t particularly like the way it is pronounced here..the ‘a’ is really dragged out.

Personally, I prefer names like:

Patrick (already used as a second name, but not sure this is a huge issue)
Hamish (Scottish form of James which is fine as my husband’s family also originates there).
Jack
Sam
Max

My father was Michael which we would consider as an Irish middle name but it is not a necessity.

I would love your advice here! Thanks for your time.

Oh, it is so tricky to choose a name with another parent, isn’t it? Paul and I would sometimes go almost crazy: he’d choose a name I thought of as “total 1980s” and then I’d choose a name that would make him say, “Is that even a NAME?”

So. The only three boy names your husband will consider are Henry, Joseph, and James. My favorite from the list, given the details you provide, is Joseph: I love the nickname Joe, and wish I could use it (another of our kid’s names is too similar). I think the nickname Joe is similar to the names you like, like Sam and Max and Jack: boyish and short and a guy’s-guy name. Cute for a little boy, but grown-up enough for a man.

Then I’d use Michael as the middle name: Irish AND grandfather-honoring is perfect. Joseph Michael is a terrific name, solid and manly with a great nickname. I suspect it’s the kind of name you might feel a little “meh” about using, but with time would love more and more. I’m getting a little sentimental just thinking about a cute little toddler boy named Joe!

It’s also very good with your other children’s names: Charlotte and Eliza, Thomas and Joseph. Very, very good. You don’t need us at all! Great work!

Anyone have any other comments or suggestions for the upcoming cutie? (Awww, JOE!) (Or Isabelle!)

Caroline writes:

My husband & I are expecting our first child (a boy) in 9 weeks. We are stuck between 2 names:

Boone Andrew
or
Major Boone

Obviously Boone is a family name, as is Andrew. Major has been my husband’s favorite name for 10 years, after the president of his college.

We are truly stuck and would like some objective opinions. We have not shared any names with family.

So, it looks like what we’re working with here is three names (Boone, Major, and Andrew), trying to choose the best combination.

I like the name Major, too. Here is where the name gives us trouble: it sounds like a military title. Using a surname name as a middle name enhances the effect: Major Boone sounds exactly like a military officer in a movie, kicking around the….who do majors kick around? Privates? That sounds rude, kicking privates. Also, it seems Swistle is not exactly up on her military terms.

I don’t suppose your husband would consider bumping the name Major to the middle name position? Andrew Major sounds terrific, and gives the name Major a chance to shine. In most cases, putting a name in the middle name position diminishes it (a valuable thing when you want to honor someone whose name you dislike); in this particular case, I think it improves it. It’s a seriously difficult first name, but a seriously cool middle name.

Boone Major works almost as well, if you don’t mind those first two initials. (And speaking of initials, Boone Andrew’s initials would be BAR.) Actually, I like Andrew Boone, too. That leaves only Major Andrew out of the running, so I guess we’d better put that name in as well, even though now I’m sold on Major as a middle name.

Let’s put it to a vote: the two names Caroline and her husband are considering, plus all the other combinations. Vote in the poll at right [poll closed; see below], or freestyle in the comment section below.

[Poll results:
Boone Andrew: 6 votes, roughly 6%
Major Boone: 0 votes, 0%
Andrew Major: 52 votes, roughly 55%
Boone Major: 5 votes, roughly 5%
Andrew Boone: 31 votes, roughly 33%
Major Andrew: 0 votes, 0%]

Big Dreams writes:

I have a baby girl name I have been in love with for years. Whenever I think of my future daughter (no kids yet, but soon hopefully) I think of her as “the name I love”. The first name is a name I think is perfect and sweet and the middle name was my grandmother’s middle name. I have told some people about my love for this name, but not everyone.

This last Summer my cousin had a baby girl, and used my name! First and middle! It was absolutely a coincidence (the first name is actually a family name for my cousin’s wife, whereas I just like it and the middle name was his grandmother’s middle name as well). My question is, can I still use the name? If I use the first name and not the middle name does that make it any better?

I feel weirdly protective of the first name, but the middle name is Mae. If we scrap the first name (which will break my heart a bit) do you have any names that work well with Mae? I like unique names (can’t be in the top 200 baby names in the social security site at minimum) and I really like old fashion names like Violet and Ruby, but my husband likes slightly more traditional names. So we’re looking for unusual but not weird, sweet sounding girl names that work with Mae as a middle name. Our last name starts with C.

What if you said something to your cousin such as, “Girl Child’s name is, by crazy coincidence, the very name I had in mind for my daughter. First AND middle!” and then maybe you could see where the conversation went. I’d try early on to steer the conversation in the direction of “If I did have a daughter, how would we nickname them to tell them apart?” as opposed to in the direction of “You own this name and I can’t use it without your blessing.” (Because they really don’t own it: names are not single-use items, and they probably weren’t the first ones to use it either.)

It’s possible they’ll be like, “Oh, cool!” and then you can use the name without further worry. Or in any case, you’d come out of the conversation with a better idea of how cheesed off they’d be if you used it, and they’d have a heads-up that it was a possibility.

If you do use The Name You Love, I do think it makes things a little easier if you don’t also duplicate the middle name. Perhaps you could use the first name, and reserve the middle name Mae for a possible second daughter?

If you choose instead to give up The Name You Love, Mae is a nice flexible middle name. I think you could make a list of girl names you liked, and then just go down the list and see which ones sound good with Mae. I spent a few minutes picking names and trying them out, and I notice that names with more than one syllable sound especially good: Josie Mae, Priscilla Mae, Alice Mae, Laurel Mae, Francesca Mae, Penelope Mae, Rosemary Mae. As long as your last name doesn’t create a Sentence Problem (with Mae sounding like “may”), you’re all set. Oh, and I’d avoid month names such as April Mae.

If you decided for sure not to use it, you could write again—telling us The Name You Love—and we’ll try to find names we think are similar.

If anyone has any advice and/or experience on duplicating names within a family, we’d love to hear it—especially if someone in your family successfully (i.e., no bloodshed or possessive feud) duplicated a name. Or answer this: If your cousin wanted to use the same name you’d given your child, what would be the best way for your cousin to handle it?

Andrea writes:

We are pregnant with our first baby girl in June. We have decided on Story for the first name, but cannot for the life of us come up with something that fits for a middle name. Our last name begins with B and is 2 syllables.

The issue we’re having is that Story is kind of “odd” in the circles we run in, but we love it! Most people can’t seem to get on board with Story…I guess maybe because it’s a noun?

We’ve considered:

Story Love
Story Maria (Maria is a family name)
Story May
Story June
Story Belle

Thanks in advance!

You have come to the right person. I can tell you why people are having trouble getting on board with the name Story: it is because “Story” is not a name. Of course it IS a name if you name your baby with it, but as with names such as Apple and Poet and Moon Unit, we consider them “words” and not “names.” That is why they create a stir when used as names.

I think you know all this already. You’ll soften the reaction you get from your family and acquaintances if you acknowledge that you know it. Something in a kind, understanding tone of voice, something like, “We know it’s very unusual, but we just love it, and it’s such a pretty sound!”

Because it IS a pretty sound! A VERY pretty sound! Say the name Story until it loses its “word”ness, and the surprise is that it’s not already a common girl name. It sounds like many other girl names already in use: Dori, Kori, Lori, Rory, Tori.

Word names do present a middle name problem. Any usual name is going to clash—but a second word name is overkill, and confusing. I think the middle name choices you have so far (except for Maria) all fall into the word name category: June and Belle and Love and May ARE of course often used as names, but when they’re put up next to Story they shift back into words. The mind struggles to make sense of what it is seeing: is this a name, a product, a location, a command, a library event requiring pre-registration?

Maria is a usual name, and like all usual names, it’s going to seem to clash with a word name. One way to reduce the apparent clash is to choose an established name that reminds us of Story, and try it on with the middle name.

For example, let’s use Rory: Rory Maria. Well, that’s beautiful! Now that we’re using a two usual names together, we can see it more clearly. Say it a few times (Rory Maria, Rory Maria, Rory Maria) and then switch in Story: Story Maria. Lovely. Story Marie is lovely, too.

Let’s find more options the same way. How about Anne? Lori Anne, Lori Anne, Lori Anne—Story Anne. Nice.

Tori Leigh, Tori Leigh, Tori Leigh—Story Leigh. Nice.

Kori Lynn, Kori Lynn, Kori Lynn—Story Lynn. Nice.

Dori Elizabeth, Dori Elizabeth, Dori Elizabeth—Story Elizabeth. My favorite so far.

I think the key here is to keep the middle name very obviously a girl name. If you see Story Love, you wonder what you’re looking at. If you see Story Elizabeth, you have a hint.

I KNEW my friend Mairzy would enjoy tackling this one. Here’s her take:

You’re probably tired of hearing that “Story” is an, um, unusual choice. (Well, it is unless you’re a celebrity, a form of life not known for its responsible parenting choices.) I can see the appeal in the name: pretty word, whimsical meaning, universal concept — not every culture celebrates Liberty, Mercy, or Charity, but every culture prizes a Story.

But although it looks good in abstract — or in print — it would be a hard fit for a real person. A second-grade Story will be sick to the point of nausea of hearing “What’s your middle name? Book? Time? Paige?” By eighth grade, she’ll react with hostility to the question, “Is that your real name?” By the time she’s applying for a job, she may have made peace with and embraced her name… or she might just write down “Jane.”

I know a Cinnamon, whose short answer about her name is, “My parents were hippies.” I knew a Spring, who replied dubiously, “I don’t know, my parents liked it?” I knew an Honor, who said, “My father blessed me with this name, and I try to live up to it,” which sounded a whole lot more rote than heartfelt if you ask me. Parents always have to remember that even though they may love a bold new name, it doesn’t mean the child herself will.

When it comes to a middle name, I strongly — on steroids, even — discourage using an equally whimsical name like “Love” or “Belle.” Instead, I’d suggest using a more classic name. Just in case she ever wants to fall back on normal for a while. Fortunately Story has a great rhythm, so it’s easy to match:

Maria (as you’d mentioned)
Elizabeth
Elise
Isabella
Olivia
Grace
Annaliese
Marie
Linnea

You probably can get away with using the name Story in today’s naming world. Just resign yourself and your daughter to the same questions, over and over. Cultivate an empty smile and pat response. And instill in your daughter a love for the name.

Thanks, Mairzy! My favorites from that list are Story Elise (SEB) and Story Annaliese (SAB). I like Story Olivia even better, but it gives the initials SOB.

Let’s have a vote! Go to the poll at right [poll closed; see below] and choose your favorite middle name for the name Story.

[Poll results:
Maria/Marie: 11 votes, roughly 12%
Anne: 4 votes, roughly 4%
Leigh: 8 votes, roughly 8%
Lynne: 8 votes, roughly 8%
Elizabeth: 38 votes, roughly 40%
Elise: 22 votes, roughly 23%
Annaliese: 4 votes, roughly 4%]

Lori writes:

Some other contenders:

James Cabot
James Callahan
James Calvin
James Campbell
James Cedric
James Chapman
James Charleston
James Christian
James Clayton
James Clifton
James Conrad
James Currier

I think ANY of those would be nice. I avoided more contemporary C names like Caden and Carson and Carter and Coleman and Connor only because you said your tastes ran more towards unusual/traditional—but Caden etc. would be good, too.

Vote in the poll at right [poll closed; see below] to help James’s parents choose him a middle name, and leave your remarks in the comment section. I hate to split the vote into such small pieces, but I think we’d still better have a lot of choices. HOWEVER! I’ll make it so you can vote for more than one if you have several favorites.

Edit: I didn’t realize it when I wrote the post, but the baby will be called by his middle name.

[Poll results:
Cabot: 23 votes, roughly 11%
Callahan: 20 votes, roughly 9%
Calvin: 32 votes, roughly 15%
Campbell: 22 votes, roughly 10%
Cedric: 6 votes, roughly 3%
Chapman: 7 votes, roughly 3%
Charleston: 5 votes, roughly 2%
Christian: 34 votes, roughly 16%
Clayton: 22 votes, roughly 10%
Clifton: 6 votes, roughly 3%
Conrad: 22 votes, roughly 10%
Cornelius: 12 votes, roughly 6%
Currier: 5 votes, roughly 2%]

Erica writes:

If a couple has one child and chose to name that child after a parent (the child’s grandparent), are they expected to name future children after relatives as well?

To be less vague about it, my daughter is named after my mother who passed away and my husband’s mother (she is alive and well). If our next child (who is still hypothetical at this point) is a boy, should we feel obligated to name him after our fathers?

I don’t think we feel obligated to do so, but I’m wondering what convention dictates on this.

The short answer: No, you’re not obligated, but you’re smart to take it into account as a potential issue.

In your particular case, you’ve made things even easier by using both grandmothers’ names the first go-round. It would be a touchier situation if you’d used one grandmother name, and now had to think about the other grandmother wondering if she’d be similarly honored.

If you HAD set up a situation where you’d used one grandmother name but not the other, and you DIDN’T plan to use the other, I’d suggest making that clear early on. Not, of course, by saying, “Just so’s you don’t get your hopes up: we hate your name, and anyways we don’t like you much either.” But something more along the lines of discussing the names you ARE considering, with nary a mention of the grandmother’s name.

You could even take it a step further, if you wanted to make extra-double-careful-sure that no one would be taken by surprise later: “With Mary Jane, we really wanted to use my mom’s name: I was missing her so much, and wanted my daughter to feel a connection to the grandmother she wouldn’t know. But with this next baby, we’re not planning to use any family names—so the options are wide open!”

Um, that would all be in the hypothetical situation where you hadn’t used both grandmother names. In your actual situation, where you’re wondering about, for example, grandfather names, it depends on the grandfathers involved. Do you think they might expect it? If you think there’s a chance they would expect it, it wouldn’t hurt to pull out the “not planning to use any family names” line from above.

Pitch in on this, everyone. Did you use a family name for your first baby, and then feel pressure to use more family names? Did anyone (*shudder*) mention it to you, like that they were disappointed, or that they expected it? Did you avoid using family names because you didn’t want to start up those expectations? Did you use another family name because you didn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings?

Kari writes:

I am pregnant with baby number 2 and we can’t seem to agree on a girl name. If this baby is a boy, he will be Everett Eli. For a girl, we have no idea. Our first is Claire Elisabeth. I love the name Ingrid for a girl, but it is out by association with an ex-. We like Lucie Jane, but I wonder how that fits with Claire or if it is too trendy. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

When I am in doubt, when I know not which way to turn—that is when I find I do in fact know which way to turn, because I turn to The Baby Name Wizard. You have a girl named Claire already, so let’s look at sister names: Elise, Caroline, Isabel, Leah, Hope. Ooo, nice! I especially like Elise and Hope.

And since you have a boy name chosen, we can look at sister names for Everett, too, just to see what sorts of names might be similar in style: Genevieve, Cora, Adele, Estella, Antonia. More good pickings. I love Genevieve (first runner-up for our girl), and I like Estella, too, although I think I’d go for Estelle.

You’re worried that Lucie/Lucy might be too trendy, so let’s take a look at that. I’m going to quote from The Baby Name Wizard because coincidentally it addresses that very issue: “The numbers may look modest, but don’t be fooled. Lucy’s a stealth hit among affluent, trend-setting urbanites who appreciate its sweetness and absolute lack of pretension.” The name Lucy was the #152 most popular baby name in the U.S. in 2006 (source: Social Security Administration), and that doesn’t include variant spellings such as Lucie. (For comparison, Claire was the #86 name in 2006.) I think Claire and Lucie are great together.

Let’s ask Mairzy!

I like the name Lucie very much. It’s sweet and cute. It will always sound a little cute, but she’ll be growing old with Lily, Emily, and Kaylie, so the cuteness won’t stand out. It can grow up (“For more information about our Angel Tree project, please see Lucie Jones.”) and I like it with Claire. My comments on the name are:

1. If it’s going to be a full name (not a nickname), then I approve of the -ie spelling. It signals that it’s a full name in and of itself.

2. A little Lucie might want a longer name to take her through adulthood. But the only options I’ve found are Lucinda, Lucille, and Lucia. The first two I don’t like, and the third one is formidably elegant, with built-in pronunciation headaches. Not, come to think of it, that any of those are reasons not to use those names. (“I’m sorry, Lucie. I knew you would want a longer name, but years ago I found out that Mairzy didn’t like any of the options, and that was that.”)
.
Other suggestions along the Lucie line, not all of which I love personally, but most of which I’ve seen work well on a little girl:

Laura Jane
Annie Jane
Violet Jane
Louisa Jane
Lilly Jane
Nora Jane
Mercy Jane
Ella Jane
Stella Jane

Stella is a name I’m trying to like, because it’s a great name… just a bit stale. And Mercy? I know, it’s still an old-lady stretch. But I like the name — mostly because of the meaning — and my husband gives me the crooked-eyebrow look every time I mention it. So I’m offering it to the world. Is that a crooked eyebrow I see?

Best wishes as you bring up two girls!

I especially like Violet and Lily with Claire.

Mairzy and I disagree on the spelling of Lucie/Lucy: I think “Lucie” looks like the nickname, and that “Lucy” looks like the complete name. I do, however, like the way the spelling Lucie looks with the name Claire: I think it’s visually pleasing the way the L, C, I, and E all repeat.

Okay! Time to vote! Pick a favorite from the poll to the right [poll closed; see below], and leave comments/suggestions below!

[Poll results:
Lucy/Lucie: 58 votes, roughly 63%
Hope: 1 vote, roughly 1%
Elise: 19 votes, roughly 21%
Genevieve: 2 votes, roughly 2%
Estelle: 1 vote, roughly 1%
Violet: 6 votes, roughly 7%
Lily: 5 votes, roughly 5%]