Amber writes:

We are expecting our first child at the end of March. We’re not finding out the sex of the baby, I think we have a boy’s name decided on. It’s the girl’s name that is giving us problems. It’s hard to find names we both agree on. For a boy we have Oliver Matthew picked out. Matthew is my husbands first name. And Oliver I just LOVE.He didn’t care for it at first, but is happy with the name now. He wants to call him Olly. Not sure if I’m crazy about the nickname, but I don’t have to call him that. I also love Henry William, which is a family name on his side. (His dad is Henry William 3rd) Henry is also the husband’s middle name, but he hates it.

There is one girl name we agree on, which is Meredith. I really like it, but I’m having such a hard time commiting to it. I think it’s because there are other names I like more. Like Charlotte, my all time favorite. I also like Eliza, but he hated that one. My list also includes: Amelia, Liselotte, Hannah (he has a cousin named Hannah), Maragret, and some others that I don’t remember without going look because the husband has vetoed them. I’m not even sure what names he likes for a girl other than Meredith. He doesn’t mention them anymore. But he has mentioned Megan, Monica, Lauren, and such before. But I really don’t care for them. I don’t want a name that is too popular, unless I LOVE it. I seem to be more fond of names that have nicknames, but that’s not required. I want a name that has substance and is feminine, but not girly. A name that will work for her at all stages of her life.

As for middle names. He wants to use mine, Leigh. Which I’m okay with if it sounds right. But I would rather the middle name be after his mom. Her name is Joanie Marie. Which I have had a hard time with. Joan is an option instead of Joanie. I am not fond of Marie, but I think Mae could possibly do the trick. I also like the idea of the nickname going with the middle name, if that makes sense. Such as Charlotte Joan (or Mae) and calling her Charlie Jo (or Mae) I also like Jane as a middle name, but I don’t feel as if it honors his mom as much as Joan would.

Our last name is Lutz, so I’ve kind of ruled out S names. Mainly because if they ever have to fill out something with First initial and Full last name, it isn’t pretty. Or if the name starts with an O the middle name can’t start with a S for the same reason. I’m so picky, which is probably why this is so difficult.

Oh, I LOVE the name Meredith! I’ve had that on my girl name list with each pregnancy. Meredith Leigh is great, and so is Meredith Joan. With Lutz, I prefer Joan; you could call her Merrie Jo. I think Jane and Mae are too far from your mother-in-law’s name for her to think of them as honoring her, but I like both of them as middle names if you decide not to go with the namesake idea.

You could also use Meredith Charlotte Lutz, but your husband may change his mind on Charlotte later on so probably you will want to save it: my husband disliked a name with my first pregnancy, and it was his first choice for the second pregnancy. If he comes around to Charlotte THIS pregnancy, I like Charlotte Joan Lutz best.

More possibilities to consider:

Anastasia (Anna Jo)
Clara
Cordelia (Corrie Jo, Delia Jo)
Eleanor (Ellie Jo, Nellie Jo, Nora Jo)
Francesca (Frannie Leigh, Frannie Jo, Chessie Jo)
Genevieve (Evie Jo, Genna Leigh)
Penelope (Nellie Jo, Penny Jo)
Violet
Virginia (Ginny Jo)
Winifred (Winnie Jo)

B. writes:

Please help! My husband and I are expecting baby #2 and daughter #2 in early March and cannot decide on a name. Our 1st daughter is Alyssa Semiya (Sa-mee-yah). It was very easy naming our 1st, we had always liked the name Alyssa and once we found out the baby was a girl, it was automatic. The middle name Semiya means “Incomparable” and had to be chosen after she was born and had to be an Indian name since that is our culture. It will be the same for this baby regarding the middle name. But we still need a first name. Our only criteria are: we don’t want a popular, overused name and it has to be something that goes with Alyssa but not rhymey.

Names that we like and are considering but don’t love:

Melina – this is our top choice at the moment
Elena / Alayna / Elayna – not sure which spelling we should go with
Aleina / Aleena / Eleena – same thing here, not sure of the spelling
Melayna
Marina
Camille
Annika
Lauryn – I like but hubby doesn’t

Can you help with any other suggestions?

Thank you so much!

My favorites from your list are Melina and Melayna. Alyssa and Alayna seem too similar to me, as do Alyssa and Aleena.

Other possibilities:

Amber
Annabel
Ariana
Cassidy
Cecily
Jessamine
Karenna
Kelsey
Liana
Lindsey
Malia
Mariella
Rianna
Selina
Tatiana

Names that would be on my list if I didn’t think they might be too common:

Brianna
Hailey
Natalie
Sophia

Oh, how fun, a repeat customer! Christy writes:

I didn’t expect to be back again so soon, but here I am, due in early March with my 3rd boy (big brother Richard was featured sometime before his birth in August 08).

Big brothers are Soren Kyle (Soren is, according to my husband, the greatest philosopher as well as the greatest name on earth; Kyle after my brother and so that Soren would have a K initial to match said great philosopher) and Richard Alan, named for a great-grandfather who died during my pregnancy.

We’ve had a TERRIBLE time trying to come up with a name that “fits” with our first sons’ names, which are light-years apart stylistically. Here’s what we’ve thought of and why we can’t decide on either:

Judah, probably nicknamed Jude, middle name unknown:
pros:

* We were scanning a baby name book the night after the big ultrasound, saw it at the same time, looked at each other and said “I like Judah” This is definitely the most we’ve ever both liked something immediately, and it’s fun that we chose it together.
* It’s uncommon, but it has a history.
* I think that Jude is a really cool, tough nickname.
* I’m not sure why, but it seems to me like it doesn’t make either Soren or Richard too much of the odd one out, namewise.

cons:

* It doesn’t flow well with our last name, which is very much like “Edison”
* I’m guessing that while people who are familiar with the Old Testament know Judah, many more people are familiar with the New Testament Judas, who wasn’t so great.
* The “a” ending could make it seem feminine? I don’t worry so much about this because of other Old Testament names, like Isaiah, Noah, Jonah, Jeremiah, etc, which share the same ending and are more familiar, but it crosses my mind when I’m feeling nervous about choosing Judah.
* Though I’ve sworn never to reveal a name before the birth after the horrible experience I had with Soren, my husband has mentioned it three times in different groups and it has received a cold reception (polite smiles, no comment, expressions of disgust) each time. This does not sway him, as he is the big fan of unusual names, but I think that it is nice for people to like a child’s name.
* I really like not having to spell or repeat or explain Richard’s name. I spell Soren’s name constantly. My husband’s name was #1 for the decade in which he was born, so he does not understand how annoying this can be.
* We cannot come up with a middle name to go with Judah.

Our other candidate right now is William George, after my husband’s other grandfather:

pros:

* It is a very nice name, easy to spell, easy to pronounce, clearly well-liked
* At least two people would cry at the announcement.
* It has meaning for us. We’ve considered names like Joshua, Daniel, Jonathan, Timothy, Seth, etc. which are much more common than our first two choices, but since our first two son’s names had significance to us, it seems odd to choose a common name just because “it’s a nice name”.

cons

* It makes Soren the odd one out, both because he doesn’t have a grandfather’s name and because he doesn’t have a British monarch’s name
* That’s two of my husband’s grandfathers honored with namesakes, neither of mine. It doesn’t bother me, but might offend my family?
* William is quite common, which doesn’t bother me except that I am used to uncommon. It probably bothers my husband, who likes uncommon.

I’m dying for the opinions of people whose faces I don’t have to see after the kid is born and named. I’m open to other suggestions too, if someone can come up with a semi-uncommon name that goes with Soren & Richard and magically appeals to my husband. (I’d be paging frantically through The Baby Name Wizard myself right now if I wasn’t away from home and my copy of the book.)

 
I have carefully read all the pros and cons (I especially like the pro about making at least two people cry—I consider that a big pro too!), and I have come through it thinking Judah is the best choice for your family. You’re right: somehow it aligns itself neither with Soren nor with Richard, and in fact seems to be the magical middle ground that brings the names closer together.

I think using Jude as the full name rather than as the nickname would fix many of the cons you’ve got for Judah: it’s farther from Judas, it would receive a better public reaction, it’s easier to spell, and it flows better with your surname.

Another possibility is Judd. Judd Edison. Maybe Judd Henry Edison.

If you use Judah, I suggest William as the middle name: Judah William Edison. Con: it uses up William, if you wanted to use it for another boy later. Do either of your own grandfathers have names that you don’t want to use as first names? Daniel has a nice rhythm too: Judah Daniel Edison.

If you use Jude, I suggest Isaac as the middle name if you still like it from last time: Jude Isaac Edison.

What do the rest of you think about Judah vs. William vs. third possibility, and do you have any third possibility ideas? Any more middle name suggestions for either Judah or Jude?

Rachael writes:

We decided that no matter what we name our baby, we weren’t going to tell anyone the name until the kid was born. My family has a habit of ruining names for mommies in the family, and our name choices, while not the most unusual, were not very common either. I wasn’t sure if they’d like the names or not, and inevitably there would always be someone who said, “Really? You’re naming your baby ______? Why not _______?” So we just wanted to avoid it altogether. So, since we weren’t spilling the name, we went ahead and found out the gender, just to give everyone something to get excited about, and we found out it’s a GIRL! Yes, everyone is very excited. I get emails periodically from my mom and my aunts that say things like, “I know you already have a name, but here’s my list, just in case,” – which is fine, I don’t mind that at all. My question for you is – do you really think that waiting until the baby is born will help ease the shock of a “non-traditional” name? All this time I’ve been telling myself that no one will care what the name is when they’re holding that beautiful baby, but now that we’re closer to “go time,” I’m not so sure! And how do you deal with a family who has made trips to the hospital for the sole purpose of getting one of their own to change a baby’s name? I’m just wondering what you and your readers would do with this situation. I mean, we have to tell them the name eventually…..right?

Oh dear. It’s true that not every family will respond well to the Surprise Name Reveal, even if they have the darling baby in their arms when they hear it. Some families are opinionated, and outspoken, and aren’t as easily squelched as others.

One option would be to get it over with ahead of time in the hopes that you wouldn’t have to deal with it in the hospital. I mean, I know this leaves you without a reveal of any kind, but perhaps that would be better.

Sometimes cheery frankness can help. “Okay, guys, at this point we’re NOT going to change her name! Enough! Now hold her so I can drink this beer.” “Now DON’T come all the way down here just to try to change my mind like you did when Michelle had her baby! The name is SET IN STONE. But do feel free to come all the way down here to bring me doughnuts.” “If you think you have something negative to say about the name, do please remember that I will resent you FOR ALL TIME, and still the name will be unchanged, and when she is older I will tell her you don’t like her name and she will resent you too.” “Uh-uh-uh! I sense you are about to say something unpleasant about the non-returnable name. Here, put a doughnut in there instead.” “*clap clap* All right! It is time to move on to the acceptance stage!”

Everyone share stories: How did you brace for possible Name Complaints from friends and family? Did your ideas work or not? And what did you do if they didn’t work?

Cassie writes:

Help!

We are expecting on February 24, 2010 and haven’t landed on any names. To make matters more complicated, we don’t know if we are having a boy or a girl.

Our surname is Torode (pronounced tur-ode) and the family name I would like to use is Tait. Just wondering if that is too much alliteration. I like the name Tait for a boy -and perhaps a girl.

My maiden name is Campbell which I also like as a unisex first name.

Options for middle names (also family names) are Jane and David.

Lastly, a few girls names I like are Stella, Reina, Gabriella, Isla (a few friends have named their baby this recently) and Chloe (maybe too popular)

Any help would be greatly appreciated!

When I experimented saying Tait Torode out loud, I got “Tater Road.” I think the problem is that T at the end of Tait—the alliteration of, say, Taylor Torode is fine. In the middle name slot it would be less of a problem: Campbell Tait Torode, Stella Tait Torode. But I’m so keen on family names, I think I’d go ahead and use it as a first name and just get used to enunciating clearly with a nice pause between names.

A middle name for Tait is tricky. Tait David works fine, I think, but Tait Jane is too abrupt. I’d want to use a middle name that was as obviously feminine as David is obviously masculine, so maybe something like Elizabeth or Gabriella. Tait Elizabeth Torode.

I used to think of Campbell as mostly masculine until I realized the nicknames are feminine: Cammie, Bella. Campbell Jane Torode. And it still works for boys: Campbell David Torode. (Campbell Tait would work, too, but I prefer to pair an androgynous names with a name that is strongly masculine or feminine.)

I also like the names Jane and David for the first-name slot: Jane Campbell Torode is wonderful, and so is David Campbell Torode.

If you like Isla but don’t want to use it after friends did, you might like Lila. Lila Tait Torode is so pretty.

If you like Chloe but it’s a little too popular, you might like Cleo: same sounds in a different order and yet it’s not even in the top 1000. Cleo Tait Torode.

More suggestions for Cassie?

Gwen writes:

Here is my predicament… I’ve been backed into a corner with carrying on my husband’s name (neither he or I feel one way or the other about) but feel obligated to at least give it a try. The name is Thomas Kirkpatrick IV. This little guy would/could be a 4th generation. My husband goes by T. Kirk or Kirk, his father goes by Tom and most recently TK. I don’t want two Kirk’s in the house… are there general 4th generation names like there are for 3rd generations?

Any ideas that are new and different from the above. Thanks!

 
Ooo, we had a good talk about this awhile back: Nicknames for the Fourth (IV). The comments section came up with some really good ideas.

It’s too bad your father-in-law is taking Tom and also TK, because TK would be a great nickname for your little guy and an excellent resolution to the problem. Here’s my new rule: men who are part of a naming tradition may only use ONE of the limited available nicknames for the shared name.

Well, since TK is indeed taken, my first suggestion is that you use Thomas. Little boys named Thomas used to go by Tom, but now they tend to go by Thomas.

He could also go by Tom, like his grandpa: that would be a little confusing at occasional times, but not too bad.

He could also go by Patrick, the second half of Kirkpatrick since the first half is already taken.

He could also go by T.: my brother has a friend who goes by T., and it’s a natural and easy nickname that’s cute on a little boy and cool on an older boy. Again, it’s too bad your husband is using two of the available nicknames, but if YOU call your husband Kirk, then T. would work for your son. It’s mostly the household that needs separate names for each other.

Any other suggestions for Gwen?

R. writes:

I’ve been reading your blog for months now and just got up the courage to e-mail you about our daughter’s name. We don’t so much have a baby naming problem as a toddler naming problem at the moment (she is currently 13 months). My husband and I couldn’t agree on a baby name before she was born, and it took us almost 48 hours (and the extreme kindness of the hospital discharge nurse in ‘misplacing’ our paperwork for a few hours) to come up with her first name: Talia (like TALL-yah). Her last name is a very common Chinese last name, think something like Lee.

So we’re looking for a good middle name for: Talia ____ Lee

We’d like to avoid any name which is really popular at the moment, and anything which ends in a vowel.

Names we have considered and discarded: Adele, Miriam, Kestrell.

We’d love your help! Thanks.

I found it useful when naming my children to look at the family tree. It’s a handy way to narrow down the field of possibilities when you don’t have a strong opinion about a middle name. Also, it’s been such a pleasing thing to have those family names used again: I find I think of it often, and gladly. Of course I don’t have access to your family tree, but are there any siblings or parents or grandparents you’d like to honor? Any family surnames—perhaps maiden names that have been lost? Anyone, er, DIE recently?

I know you said you don’t want any popular names, but another good use for the middle name slot is any name that you really liked but was too popular/trendy for you to want to use it for a first name.

Would your own first name make a good middle name? It’s common for children to have a middle name after their fathers, less common for it to be after their mothers.

Do the two of you have an author you both love, or a place you both love? Sometimes those can make nice middle names.

Some other possibilities:

Talia Arabelle Lee
Talia Avril Lee
Talia Beatrix Lee
Talia Emerin Lee
Talia Gretchen Lee
Talia Haven Lee
Talia Irene Lee
Talia Isadore Lee
Talia Jassamine Lee
Talia Juniper Lee
Talia Maribel Lee
Talia Olive Lee
Talia Patience Lee
Talia Rosabel Lee
Talia Tamsin Lee

Kristina writes:

My first baby is due February 21 and we just found out it’s a boy. My husband and I have agreed on the first name being Zackary. My husbands father passed away a few years ago and so he really wants to have the middle name be Dennis which was his fathers middle name. My father was a jr. and he only had my sister and I. I really want to carry on his name also so I’m trying to convince my husband to name our son Zackary Dennis James Riley. I think it sounds good just wanted some other input. Let me know what you think.

I think it sounds wonderful.

If you plan to have more children in the future, you could consider saving one name for a future child, to spread out the honor in two ways: so that each father has his turn, and also so that each child carries an honored family name. I would suggest first naming after your father, since he’s alive to receive the honor and since a Sr./Jr. naming tradition goes to the first son. Then I would use Dennis as the middle name for the second child, boy or girl.

Your current plan, however, is least risky: it guarantees using both fathers’ names, no matter what happens with your family plans.

One more possibility is to name the child James Dennis Riley. Not only is that a truly great name, it gives your dad a first-name namesake as he would have had if he’d had a son. But of course it means giving up or postponing the name Zackary.

Jenny writes:

We need baby name help. Our baby boy is due in February—he will be our first—and we’re having so much trouble deciding on a name. The main obstacle we’re encountering is finding a good balance to our long, hyphenated last name (2 syllables-3 syllables)—we don’t want first/middle names that are too long or cumbersome, and we can’t have a name that ends in ‘son’ because our last name ends in ‘son’. Also because of our last name, we’d prefer a first name that sounds like a first name and not like another surname (like Walker, Garrett, Parker, etc).

Right now, we’re leaning towards ‘Gatliff’ as the middle name. It’s a family name, and unusual, and goes way back on my side. The first name is where we’re stuck. We prefer old-fashioned or hippie-ish names that are not terribly popular or preppy. Our top runners are Elijah (Eli) (but it’s getting awfully popular), Miles, Ezra, Oliver, and Micah.

Names we’ve thought about but one of us has ruled out include Charlie, Owen, Julian, Asher, August, Wyatt, Sawyer, Gideon.

A last note: names we love for a future daughter include Ruby, Emmeline (Emme), and Hazel. I’d like the names of our kiddos to all be of the same ‘genre’, if possible.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Help?? :)

It’s so useful to know the future possible girl names!

Archer (a little surnameish but Archie is so cute with the girl names)
Arlo
Hugo
Leo
Levi
Milo
Silas
Simon

My favorite is Arlo Gatliff. Arlo and Ruby! Arlo and Hazel! So cute and sassy!

A slightly less daring choice with a similar sass is Milo Gatliff. (Milo and Ruby, Milo and Hazel.)

Christina writes:

I am pregnant with our first – a boy. And we have not discussed names seriously since the first week I knew I was pregnant and I’m starting to panic that we’re just going to keep procrastinating and make a rash decision.

Considerations:
– My husband’s name is Marc and he would like that to be the middle name for our son, since it’s 2 generation tradition in his family to have the father’s first name be the firstborn son’s middle. I’m okay with it, but having a hard time finding names that flow nicely with Marc as a middle.
– I prefer somewhat unique multisyllabic names that have clear spellings/pronunciations.
– My husband seems to prefer strong masculine names, but doesn’t like many of the biblical ones I do.
– Daniel, Douglas, Edward, Timothy, Joseph and Adam have already been taken by other family members.
– We do like many of the more modern names, but some of them (like Wyatt) are just a little too out there for us.
– Also, since our last name ends with a “man” sound, I don’t think we should choose a first name ending in -on or -an sounds (e.g., Roman, Jackson).

I originally was inclined to name him Thomas after my father, but when I told my mom and sisters, they all reacted badly as we have many many Toms in the family already. Thomas Marc is also a tad boring.

Any suggestions are most welcome. I’m not finding the baby books or celebrities to be very inspirational.

Let’s play a game! I’m going to take the boy name section of my copy of The Baby Name Wizard, open it to a page at random, and choose one boy name from that page. I got pages 214-215, and I suggest Louis. Louis Marc Raymond. Let’s play again! Pages 190-191. I suggest Franklin and Frederick. Franklin Marc Raymond. Frederick Mark Raymond. One more time! Pages 242-243, and I suggest Stephen. Stephen Marc Raymond. This is a good way to get a list going when it’s hard to make a list; each parent can choose a name from each page.

Looking up the name Thomas, I notice the name Theodore. Theodore Marc Raymond.

I nearly suggested Edmund, an excellent strong masculine name that doesn’t see the light of day often enough—and then I realized EdMUND RayMOND.

Nathaniel Marc Raymond would be nice.

Or Nicholas Marc Raymond.

Or Jeremy Marc Raymond.

Jonathan Marc Raymond.

Help me out, you guys; I’m stuck on this one.