[I’m out of town this weekend, but really didn’t want to her to miss out on the magic of the comments section.]

Kara writes:

I have been reading your blog for awhile now, anxiously awaiting the day we would find out if we were expecting a girl or boy so that I could find a precious name for my child.

Well, the day came and we are expecting our second BOY! I am so excited to have another boy, but finding a name is a challenge- I think girl’s names are easier! (we like Lyla, Josie, Cadence, Willow, Eliott, Emmaline, etc)

Our last name is Graves, my first son is Lucas Joshua who is 2, this boy will come in October. There are only three names on our list: (and my husband and I both don’t agree on all three).

Finn, Cohen, and Rowan.

I don’t like the names on the top 10 lists, they seem to be too popular for me.. I like it to be soft, southern, sweet, but still boy. Older names are fascinating to me as well, but we don’t have many interesting names in our family to use.

I would love to think that we would be having at least one more child, but that hasn’t been decided yet.

Ok, so your turn! Work your magic!

Jayme writes:

My husband and I are expecting our second, a boy, this summer. Although we had a difficult time naming our daughter (Corinne), we seem to be more on the same page when it comes to boys’ names. Here is our delimma. Several years ago I mentioned that I wanted to use my maiden name (Dalton) for a son. My father doesn’t have any boys, and I thought it would be a nice way to honor our family. The probem is I’m a teacher, and I’ve seen too many Daltons in the last few years to want to continue to use it as a first name (I prefer slightly uncommon, classic names-). My husband, on the other hand,still really likes it. I prefer the name Weston for a boy, and my husband doesn’t mind this name. So, could we use Dalton as a middle name (Weston Dalton) or is that too much of the same sound? With our daughter, we picked a first name we liked and gave her a family middle name (in her case, the middle name of both of her grandmothers). We would like to do the same with our son, and don’t plan to have any other children (so this is our last chance to use my maiden name). Other names we’ve considered are: Everett, Zane, Owen, Kennett, & Nolan, though none of these names really strike me like Weston does. Of the other names, I like the name Owen the best, but know too many other friends (and just people in general!) with children with this name to use it myself.

Thanks in advance if you are able to offer any advice!

On the issue of sound, I would go right ahead and use Weston Dalton. Even if that were his first name and surname, I wouldn’t think it was a disastrous combination if you loved the name; for a first and middle and probably-the-last-chance-to-use it, I say go ahead. For the most part he’ll be known as Weston Pingree—and the middle name comes with the untouchable “It’s my mother’s maiden name” explanation.

Or…use Dalton as the first name after all. Weston is currently a more common name than Dalton (#224 versus #260 in 2010, according to the Social Security Administration), so if you’ve seen more Daltons than Westons in the classroom, that might be a regional thing, or it might be that Dalton was more common than Weston in the years your recent students were born, or it might be luck of the draw and soon you’ll see it the other way around. Both names are modern surname names, and so unless you’ve had a particularly negative experience with a Dalton in the classroom, I’d encourage you to go with your first love.

I think it’s pretty special when a maiden name makes a good first name, and it’s a shame to waste the opportunity. If your only worry is the commonness, and if your husband still prefers Dalton, then rest assured on the popularity issue and go for Dalton.

Wendy writes:

I think we need help for naming our fourth daughter, due in July. Our first three are Avery (with my middle name), Kaely (husbands mom’s maiden for a middle), and Maggie (after my great grandmother). I look over these and cannot figure out a style except to say we kept thinking it was the last girl. The y sound at the end was accidental. Our last name is Evans.

Names that I like are Lila, Olive (nn Livvy). My husband has only suggested the names Harper, Rachel, and Selah. We don’t like each others so it’s back to the drawing board. I just want the name to be pretty, I tend to like shorter names, and a classic that’s not too classic but will fit a kid or woman. My husband is a philosophy professor and pastor so he would like more meaning. I’m not worried about ending in the “y” sound. If it does/doesn’t, no big deal.

If you have the time I’d appreciate any suggestions.

Lila and Livvy make me think of Lily and Libby. Avery, Kaely, Maggie, and Lily. Avery, Kaely, Maggie, and Libby.

Rachel and Selah and Lila make me think of Leah/Lia. Avery, Kaely, Maggie, and Lia.

Selah and Lila make me think of Leila and Layla. Avery, Kaely, Maggie, and Leila. Avery, Kaely, Maggie, and Layla.

I also think Laney would be a good fit: Avery, Kaely, Maggie, and Laney. Delaney would work, too.

Or Ellery: Avery, Kaely, Maggie, and Ellery.

Or Sadie: Avery, Kaely, Maggie, and Sadie.

Or Josie: Avery, Kaely, Maggie, and Josie.

Or Polly: Avery, Kaely, Maggie, and Polly.

Or Darcy: Avery, Kaely, Maggie, and Darcy.

Or Shelby: Avery, Kaely, Maggie, and Shelby.

Or Lucy: Avery, Kaely, Maggie, and Lucy.

Laura G. mentioned on Twitter that she knew a family with three girls: a Reagan, a Kennedy, and a McKinley. “That’s hardcore presidential dedication,” she commented.

I tried to make a jokey reply about what that family ought to name a boy—but goodness, there are a lot of genuinely good presidential names available:

Abraham
Andrew
Benjamin
Calvin
Carter
Cleveland
Clinton
Ford
Franklin
George
Grant
Harrison
Hayes
Jackson
James
Jefferson
John
Lincoln
Madison
Monroe
Pierce
Quincy
Taylor
Theodore
Thomas
Truman
Tyler
Roosevelt
Warren
Washington
William
Wilson
Zachary

Stephanie writes:

What do you and your readers think of re-using or repeating a name within a generation? We, and DH’s siblings and parents strongly prefer what I’ll call classic names (others would call boring). When we discuss baby names, DH will suggest names of our nephews. Now, the cousins would be pretty far apart in age (specifically, 17 years apart) and live in different (but neighboring states). We see them several times a year, and in fact, the father of the nephew (our child’s uncle in this case) is the godfather of our other children. Last name would be the same too. I say, no way. DH sees no problem. ??? (This is actually getting close to being one of those ridiculous recurring fights in our marriage like your recent post on your other blog. It doesn’t get me to 11 yet, but man, it will soon!)

Related, but different issue, DH keeps throwing his father’s name out there as an option. We already have a son, whom we did not name after his father (or any family member for his first name, although it is the name of one of DH’s uncles, but come on, large catholic family, it was bound to be somebody’s name!). DS, DH, and DH’s father all have the same middle name, a family name, it was maiden name of DH’s great great or great great great grandmother or something. I think it seems weird to use his dad’s name for a second son, and I wouldn’t want to use the middle name again, so then he’s not a Jr or the second (whatever it would be anyway), he’s just another _____.

In answer to the first question, I don’t mind repeating names within a generation, as long as everyone’s okay with it (that is, as long as it’s not going to lead to silly feuds about someone “stealing” someone else’s name). I think even in groups that see each other frequently, the confusion is minimal/negligible and can even lead to fun in-jokes and nicknames, and to additional bonding between the people sharing a name.

But this seems to me like the kind of issue where it doesn’t matter one bit what _I_ think: if it bothers you to name your children the same names as your nephews, those names should be out of the running.

In answer to your second question, I think there are ways in which it’s BETTER to give an important namesake name to a non-firstborn child. For example, a friend of mine had twin boys in a family where passing on the father’s first name was a tradition—so she gave the father’s name to the secondborn twin. That way they each had something: one was the firstborn, one had the family name.

And although we feel it to be the case, the firstborn child isn’t any more special or important than the other children. I think the reason it feels that way with names is that it shows that you used the name at the very first opportunity—but that doesn’t mean using it later on is meaningless or silly, and I like the way it decreases the “firstborn takes all” feeling.

But again, this is a situation where it doesn’t matter what I think about it: if it bothers you, the name should be out. One parent can certainly try to talk the other parent around, and can even try it a few times—but if the other parent continues to be opposed, the issue should be over.

Nevertheless, it is fun to discuss. So what does everyone else think about the two questions? How do you feel about duplicating a name within a generation? And how do you feel about using a namesake name for a non-firstborn child? And polls are fun, too, so let’s put two polls over to the right. [Polls closed; see results below.]

Poppy writes:

I just discovered your blog recently and I’m hoping you can help me. My name is Penelope Ingrid Winters, and I am called Poppy. I’ve always liked my name, despite the grade-school “Poopy Poppy” comments. I have one daughter, Clementine Alice. I went to the hospital after a long process (I wish I’d had your blog then!)sure I’d name her Georgia Alice, and then she came out with this fantastic bright red hair, and a name I’d rejected early on in my pregnancy as not name-y enough popped into my head. So she’s Clementine. She’ll be three a week before her sister is due (yikes) and her name suits her perfectly. I mostly call her Clem or Clemmy for simplicity’s sake but her full name is so much fun to say that I often end up yelling CLEMENTINE! purely because of the sound. And yes, we sing the song A LOT!
And now I am pregnant! I am a single-by-choice mom and I travel a lot for work, which means Clem has already lived in 2 places. So its helpful for me to have names that work in different cultures, although of course I failed miserably with my first daughter. Anyway, this new baby is a girl and will be my last child. Here are some names I’m considering:

Harper (I really like this but worry about how modern/trendy it is; I did check your favorite baby name book and she says Clementine is more in line with, say, Henrietta, but I’m not sure I think that’s true. If it is not and Clem’s name is more modern than Harper works, but if not…)
Violet (but I think it’s too much with her sisters name)
Dagny (came across the other day and I like it, but feel it’s too unfamiliar with C’s and my names)
Helena (like but doesn’t sound right somehow)
Coraline (too matchy but like a lot; also don’t want repeating initials)
Jessamine (not sure. possibly too unfamiliar and also might be a problem with endings, though I say Jessa-MEAN and Clemen-TINE…)
Margot (same as Helena)
Mercy (love the sound, don’t want a virtue name. Honor is in the same boat)

So these are kind of all over the place, huh? I feel like Clem’s name is really fun, light despite being long and has some fun nicknames…well, one or two. And I don’t feel guilty giving her a really fun first name because her middle is a very traditional, relatively tease-free name that has a girly nickname. I’d like the same for her sister (and my sister used George for her adorable baby last year, so Georgia is out).
Middle name will be a family name (as Alice is) and I’d like it to start with a vowel, since mine and Clem’s do. Here are a few in my family:

Eunice (but doesn’t work the way Alice does)
Agatha
Emma (probably my front runner right now but depends on first name)
Allegra (allergy thing, and close to Alice)
Annette
Emeline (second favorite but not as common as I’d like)

So now that I’ve written way too much, any help would be welcome! Thank you! I am off the scour those dreadful baby name forums…

I suggest Magnolia!

Catherine writes:

Greetings from the UK. My case is a bit out of the ordinary and has a few more factors than the normal, so I hope you can help! DH and I have three children, Emmaline (called Emmie), Finnegan, and Clementine, and are expecting our fourth. And when I say “expecting,” I don’t have a set due date. We are in the process of adopting a nine-month-old beautiful baby girl from Bosnia. Hopefully, if all of our paperwork goes through, she’ll be in our arms by September.

Anyway, here is where the dilemma strikes. Our little girl’s birth name is Dushanka. We want to keep the name in her name somehow, it will most likely be her middle. But we feel that no only is her name impossible to say in the region where we live, but also, our first three are all quite a bit older than the little one (6-10 years so), added to the fact that they are not adopted…. we want her to have a name similar to their’s so she will feel included.

Names we like off the top of our heads

Olivia

Maisie

Kate

Hannah

Matilda

Isabelle

Chloe

Sophie

I feel that while they are all quite English sounding and all that, they are all too plain and common, especially recently, to match with Emmaline, Finnegan, and Clementine. Their names all have three syllables and have a sort of “n” ending that ties them together. I’d love to find a fourth name of that stature that isn’t too rhyme-y with Emmaline and Clementine (as they are already quite rhyme-y). Not a big fan of nicknames (Emmie crowned herself— we’d always called her Emmaline) but if the shoe fits….

Sorry this is QUITE a tall order, but we’d appreciate the help so very much!

(And if there was a name that went well with Dushanka as a middle, all the better)

Thanks so much

Catherine

P.S. Oh! Almost forgot, our surname is like “Hook,” but beginning with a C.

My first suggestion is Imogen. It has three syllables and a prominent N-sound—but without duplicating the -ine ending of the other two girls, and it partially rhymes with Finnegan the same way Emmaline and Clemetine partially rhyme. Imogen Dushanka Hook (IDC); Emmaline, Finnegan, Clementine, and Imogen.

My next suggestion is Adelaide. It lacks an N, but it has three syllables and an L sound like the other two girls. Adelaide Dushanka Hook (ADC); Emmaline, Finnegan, Clementine, and Adelaide.

Next is Josephine. It ends in the same -ine as the other two girls, but with a different vowel sound. Josephine Dushanka Hook (JDC); Emmaline, Finnegan, Clementine, and Josephine.

Next is Marigold. It doesn’t have an N, but it has three syllables and an L like the other two girls. Marigold Dushanka Hook (MDC); Emmaline, Finnegan, Clementine, and Marigold.

Lorelei. Similar in style, and three syllables plus an L, even though no N. Lorelei Dushanka Hook (LDC); Emmaline, Finnegan, Clementine, and Lorelei.

Annabel. Similar to Isabelle from your list, but more N; similar to Hannah from your list, but more syllables. Annabel Dushanka Hook (ADC); Emmaline, Finnegan, Clementine, and Annabel.

Today’s discussion question is: When was the baby named? Before you had children? Second trimester? Two days after the birth? Three months after seeing the photo of the available child? Etc.

This is a trickier question than it first seems. Let’s say that in fourth grade I was reading the Anastasia Krupnik books and thought “I LOVE THAT NAME. I want to name a future daughter that name!” And then I grew up, had a baby, and named her Anastasia.

So did I name her in fourth grade? No: what I did in fourth grade was put the name on my finalist list. Without the consent of the other parent, and without knowing what my child’s surname would be, and taking into account that in sixth grade I said “Megan! I love that name!” and that ten years later I said “Emerson! I love that name!,” I couldn’t say that the baby had been named at that point, no matter how committed I felt at that moment. In retrospect it may FEEL as if I named the baby At That Moment, but if I’d grown up and had a baby with a guy who said “Ug, I hate that name” it would have been a no-go: the baby would have turned out NOT to have been named back then.

HOWEVER, if I still loved the name Anastasia in college, and my serious boyfriend and I were discussing baby names and I mentioned that name and he said “I love it. Let’s definitely use it for our first daughter” and from then on we referred to our future hypothetical children Anastasia and Sam, and then we got married and had our first baby and it was a girl and we named her Anastasia, was that baby named back when we were dating?

Harder to say, isn’t it? Because probably when I was pregnant we would have had the discussion again, more seriously now that it was real, and considered other candidates—and if so, the baby wasn’t really named until we said, “Nope, we still like Anastasia best.” But you could also make a case in this situation for the idea that even after a name is REALLY REALLY CHOSEN, there can be little flashes of doubt: a person might be watching Four Weddings and a Funeral in the third trimester and think “FIONA! Wait! Maybe FIONA is my favorite name!!” Or, lying in bed at night too uncomfortable to sleep: “Is Anastasia REALLY the name we want to use? Maybe it’s Too Much. Maybe it’s too uncommon. Maybe I DON’T EVEN LIKE IT AT ALL.” Flashes like that aren’t really a re-considering of the name but more like little panicky flairs (or sensible making-sures) that don’t even come close to dethroning the champion, and it would be possible to put “Wait, now that it’s real instead of a little Dating Fantasy, are we ACTUALLY going to use Anastasia?” into that category, if that is the way it felt.

So! You can see how this is a very very subjective sort of question to answer. It’s tempting to exaggerate, I think, because it makes a better story: “I chose this name in fourth grade” is more appealing than “We dithered all through the pregnancy and first had one favorite and then another, and then by the time she was born we’d basically decided we liked Anastasia best.” Each of us will need to carefully examine our naming stories for truth: Is it only in retrospect, with the child named and it unthinkable to imagine her named any of the now OBVIOUSLY wrong alternative candidates, that it seems as if this was always the definite choice? Are we mistaking “the day I added the name to my list” for “the day we said THIS IS THE NAME”?

And of course, sometimes we won’t remember without looking it up. I don’t quite remember when we chose Rob’s name. His was one of the “not very interesting” baby naming stories that would be tempting to embellish. We thought he was a girl until we found out at 20 weeks that he wasn’t. We considered a bunch of different boy names, but the only real candidate was the name we chose. And at some point we must have said, “Okay, that’s it, that’s the name”—but it failed to leave an impression and I’d have to check my journal to see for sure.

William was named in the first trimester, before we even knew he was a boy. We didn’t have a girl name, but I wrote the boy name choice (complete with middle name) in bold capitals in my journal at around 12 weeks. Again, I’d have to look it up to be more exact, but I remember thinking it was disappointing to have the boy name chosen already when it wasn’t even the end of the first trimester yet.

Elizabeth was named in the third trimester, but I was still uncertain even in the hospital: I loved the name, but I worried it was too unusual or that it wouldn’t fit her. I’d say that the baby WAS named in the third trimester and that my flashes of doubt were just stronger—but it’s hard to tell if this is true six years later.

Edward was also named in the third trimester, but we were down to two candidates already at the beginning of the second trimester: they were the two names we would have used if the twins had both been boys, and it was hard to give one of them up. Paul had a slight preference for one name, and I had a slight preference for the other, so we were waiting to see what the girl name choice would be—but then the girl name choice went well with both. One day in the third trimester I told Paul that the boy name I preferred felt more like My Baby and that my slight preference was now a strong preference, and he said that was fine with him.

Henry was named in the third trimester, after spending the first two trimesters going back and forth between two OTHER names. I suddenly thought of a third name and made a strong case for it, and we used it. I remember it was a relief to be able to stop going back and forth between the other two!

Now it’s your turn, and feel free to take up as much space as you want in the comments section! When was the baby named?

Nina writes:

We are having a difficult time coming up with a baby girl’s name. I am due at the end of this month. We do not know if we are having a boy or a girl. We have a 2 year-old daughter named Ripley Anne. We plan to use the boy’s name we had chosen from two years ago when we didn’t know what we were having the first time around. Since we didn’t anticipate having more children, we did not think about additional girl names (or boys names for that matter). We would like a name that is unisex and unique that it is not on any major lists or within the top 1000 names, much like Ripley is not popular. We cannot decide if we should stick with a name that also begins with the letter R or not. We cannot seem to find another R-sounding name that is English that we both agree on.

So far, our possibilities include Ryder (too popular right now). I like Reverie but my husband thinks it’s too hard to say.

It’s been difficult and stressful to come up with a girl’s name that I’m seriously hoping we’re having a boy for the sake of not having to pick a girl’s name.

I’d love to hear your suggestions as you have helped a friend of mine in the past.

My top suggestion is Kiefer. It’s almost unused for boys, and unused for girls (which surprises me: the Kee- of Keelin/Keely/Kira, the -fer of Jennifer)—but I think the sound is very cute on either a boy or a girl, and excellent with your surname and with the sibling name. Ripley and Kiefer. Its popularity is similar to Ripley’s: in 2010, according to the Social Security Administration, 70 babies total were named Kiefer/Keifer; 47 babies were named Ripley.

Or Waverly: 61 babies named Waverly in 2010, some girls and some boys, though I’d use it for a girl.

The name Arizona isn’t unisex (47 girls in 2010, no boys), but I think it has an androgynous SOUND: I wouldn’t think, meeting a boy named Arizona, “But that’s a girl name!”—and in fact when I first thought of it, I was going to suggest it to you as a boy name candidate. The -a ending (and even the entire -ona of the ending, like Catriona and Fiona and Mona—and the Ari- beginning like Arianna and Ariel) is probably what tips it to girls. Ripley and Arizona.

Hollis is slightly more common (133 babies in 2010), but this is balanced, I think, by being the best so far in terms of being unisex: 47 girls and 86 boys. You could use it for either a boy or a girl: Ripley and Hollis.

If you can get past the Forrest Gump connection (and really, he was a VERY NICE boy and a good person), I think the name Forest works for either a boy or a girl. I think it works a little better for a boy (and the parents of the U.S. agree with me, giving it in 2010 to 81 boys and no girls, plus 160 boys with the Forrest spelling)—but when I picture it on an actual little girl I think it works just as well as Ripley, and calls up very pretty images of sunlight through the leaves. Ripley and Forest. I think it might not work with your surname, however.

The name Castle was given to 14 boys and no girls last year, but I think the sound of it works just as well for girls: it reminds me of Cassie and lass and Crystal, and the word castle can give a mental picture of princesses, knights, beautiful stone walls.

The name Jensen is more popular for boys (313 boys and 52 girls in 2010; the spelling Jensyn adds another 6 boys and 13 girls), but not common for either and would work for either. Ripley and Jensen.

I will mention one of my friend Mairzy’s favorite names: Sterling. It was given to 51 baby girls and 296 baby boys in 2010. I prefer it for girls; I am extremely fortunate that this has not caused Mairzy to ditch our friendship. (Mairzy: “Yet.”) But of course it also works beautifully for boys, so I suggest it either way: Ripley and Sterling.

My mother wants me to suggest the name Tylyn: she knew a Tylyn and said the name was surprisingly pleasing to use. In 2010, 25 babies (20 girls, 5 boys) were named Tylyn/Tylynn. For a boy, I would spell it Tylen (68 boys in 2010; no girls) (there were also 39 boys named Tylon, but I suspect that’s pronounced differently). Ripley and Tylyn; Ripley and Tylen.

The name Reeve was used for 21 boys and 7 girls in 2010. For me it has pleasing Christopher Reeve associations, and it sounds like Eve for a girl, and it’s an R name that goes well with Ripley for either a boy or a girl: Ripley and Reeve.

Kim writes:

Is it more, or less, acceptable to name a child June if she’s born in the month of June?

We are having a baby boy in August and two of the names we like for him are …

August nn Gus (his birth month)

Leonardo nn Leo (his star sign)

Neither were chosen FOR this reason – Gus and Leo are just names we both like and we prefer to have a formal name with nickname option. We have shelved both for now while we consider this coincidence, but I still really like them.

In the objective opinions of your readers and yourself… what do you think of names that match the month/season/star sign of a child’s birth? Is it corny or fine?

Oh, neat! I gave this some thought and…I’m not sure! I worked with a girl named April who used to say in a weary voice that no, she was not born in April—so maybe it would have been better if she could have said yes? or maybe she would have been answering wearily either way, just because of being sick of the question?

With holiday names, I’m in favor: I love Natalie and Holly and Noelle MORE at Christmastime. But I know other people who rule them out.

My mom and I read a book with sisters named May and June, and their mother considered their entire name-month special, giving that child fewer chores and more treats for the whole month. That seems like it would only work in a family where every child had an equivalent name.

For me, zodiac signs are a non-issue: Leo is the only one that makes a good name, and I don’t think it’s associated with the zodiac the way June is with the calendar. In your son’s case, it seems like it would just be something fun—the way I think it’s fun that my twins are Geminis. Same with birthstones: I think it’s cute if a girl named Ruby also has rubies as her birthstone, but I wouldn’t notice it unless she mentioned it.

What do you all think? Are month/holiday/zodiac/birthstone/etc. names BETTER when they match up with the birthdate? or do you think they SHOULDN’T match? Let’s have a poll, over to the right. [Poll closed; see results below.]

Poll results for “Your choice with month/season/zodiac names” (276 votes total):

BETTER when they match the birthdate: 32%
RULED OUT if they match the birthdate: 7%
I am as uncertain as Swistle!: 61%