S. writes:<\/p>\n
My husband and I are extremely excited to be expecting our first baby in about 4 weeks. We feel as prepared as we can be but can\u2019t seem to settle on a name we both like. We got a late start in the family-making business so this could be our first and last baby but we are hopeful for at least one more. I hope that we can come to an agreement on both first and middle names in the coming weeks and I love how helpful your site is to so many people. Hoping you can help us too!<\/p>\n
We know it is a boy and his last name will be Ilic (pronounced ee-litch). The last name is of Croatian decent. My husband is passionate about honoring his Croatian heritage.<\/p>\n
I am passionate about boys name from the South such as Wyatt, Jackson, Macallister. Although my husband is absolutely against the names Wyatt and Jackson.<\/p>\n
The first name that is getting the most discussion these days is Milan, pronounced Me-lan. This is a Croatian name that is relatively easy to pronounce and spell compared to the other options. And, it is an improvement from his original suggestion so maybe this is where we will have compromise.<\/p>\n
We are open to more first name suggestions if you have them but are really needing your help in the middle name category. It seems like names with 3 to 4 syllables sound best with the first name Milan but that has led to a pretty narrow field of choices. Are we overlooking some good shorter names?<\/p>\n
Middle names being considered thus far are:<\/p>\n
Macallister
\nAlexander
\nAleksander<\/p>\nWe are having a hard time coming up with much else especially with other Southern or Southern-like names that work well. We think that Milan Alexander Ilic sounds the most fluid but it is probably the name that I am least passionate about. I really like the name Macallister but am wondering if it is odd to have the two names starting with M, Milan Macallister Ilic. It is possible that we would end up using a nickname and I like Mac or Alek for that. The nickname is not a requirement though.<\/p>\n
As you can see, our choices are few right now (as is our time is short!) so your help in expanding our choices or helping us decide between the options we have would be greatly appreciated.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
<\/p>\n
What I notice first is that the child’s surname will ALREADY honor his Croatian heritage. Having the first name ALSO honor the Croatian heritage seems imbalanced, unless both sides of the family have a Croatian background.<\/p>\n
From your letter I’m not sure how you feel about things. Maybe the strength of your husband’s preferences is making it seem as if he ought to get his way even though it’s not what you want. It sounds to me as if you both feel like you’re compromising, and yet all the compromising is done from the starting point of what your husband wants (“It has to be Croatian”), rather than starting with what you both want. I could be reading this completely wrong: perhaps a Croatian name is also one of your own preferences. It sounds, though, as if Milan Ilic is the child’s very Croatian name, and your own passionate preferences have been pushed into the almost invisible middle name spot.<\/p>\n
If it has been agreed between the two of you that the child’s first AND last name will honor his father’s family and preferences, I would definitely push for the middle name being almost completely your choice. If you are passionate about Southern names, then I would suggest choosing one of those (after removing the ones your husband most dislikes). Milan Macallister Ilic seems like a great choice. I don’t see any issue with two names starting with the same letter, and in fact in this case I really like the sound of it.<\/p>\n
I would also think ahead to potential sibling names. If you choose a Croatian name for your first child and you do have a second child, will the second child also have to have a Croatian first name for the sibling names to sound right to you? If so, even though time is short, I might advise re-thinking this whole idea. My own preference, if this were happening with my own husband, would be to use a Croatian middle name and a non-Croatian first name. This feels more balanced to me (though still quite weighted toward what your husband wants): a first name from a category both parents like; a strongly Croatian middle name and surname to meet your husband’s preferences. This would also allow for a much wider range of Croatian names; perhaps your husband could have one of the ones he likes best (after removing the ones you most dislike), rather than settling for an easier-to-spell\/pronounce choice.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
S. writes: My husband and I are extremely excited to be expecting our first baby in about 4 weeks. We feel as prepared as we can be but can\u2019t seem to settle on a name we both like. We got a late start in the family-making business so this could be our first and last […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9825","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3iyiG-2yt","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9825","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9825"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9825\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9828,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9825\/revisions\/9828"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9825"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9825"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9825"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}