advice on naming your first child<\/a>, and I’m aware of names that are outliers to our style. But even yet, I still feel like I could name a gaggle of children using a couple different styles.<\/p>\nWe like word names, ancient\/mythological names, and quirky Bible names. For example, here is a (very) paired down list of some of our favorites.<\/p>\n
Boys:
\nAbel
\nAtlas
\nCanaan
\nCord\/Chord
\nDash
\nNaphtali
\nNoble<\/p>\n
Girls:
\nAzalea
\nDaphne
\nEvening
\nGeneva
\nHonor
\nSunday
\nThisbe<\/p>\n
We also like vintage names.
\nBoys:
\nCalvin
\nJack
\nWalter
\nWesley<\/p>\n
Girls:
\nAlice
\nAgatha
\nDaphne
\nPearl
\nPhoebe
\nVivienne
\nSally
\n(it’s obviously easier to name girls than boys!)<\/p>\n
Can any of these mix and match? For example, I think Daphne could work equally well with Atlas as it could with Calvin. But could Atlas and Calvin be brothers? I don’t think so, but my husband disagrees. He thinks I’m over-thinking it. Could you have Honor and Phoebe as sisters?!<\/p>\n
How on earth does a name aficionado pick their favorites? If you have any help, I would appreciate it so much. I know I’ll use the advice offered should I ever get a chance to use these names, and I hope to give an update if that day comes. Thank you in advance for all you do!!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
<\/p>\n
Oh, I know, it’s a terrible problem! I remember going through name books during my first pregnancy and wondering how we were even going to narrow it down.<\/p>\n
For me, probably the most helpful tool was imagining introducing the child. I loved the idea of the name Dutch for a boy, for example, but I felt very differently about it if I imagined calling my parents to say, “He’s here! His name is Dutch!,” or making his first appointment with the pediatrician, or registering him for first grade. It’s not that I think we should let such pressures influence us unduly (I think my parents and the pediatrician and the school system would have been fine no matter what we chose), but some of us have the temperament to proudly announce an unusual name and would love responding to the surprised feedback—and others of us don’t, and wouldn’t.<\/p>\n
I also found it very helpful to imagine sitting around our dinner table (I see I’m picturing my own childhood family dinner table circa 1982, except I’m the mother) and talking to my actual elementary-school-aged children. Does it feel right to me to picture a little boy named Dutch and a little girl named Marigold? Or does it feel more natural to imagine an Ian and a Clarissa? A William and a Margaret? I love all three sets, but which one feels like My Actual Family? Which one seems right for the report cards and the insurance forms and the summer camp registration? The answer is going to be different for each person.<\/p>\n
If two or more styles feel equally right, here are a few ideas:<\/p>\n
1. The Combination Name.<\/strong> This is a good method if you have several styles you love, but you’d really prefer to pick one style for all the kids’ names. It does require RANKING the sets, which might not work. But let’s say you have three styles you love: Word, Ancient\/Mythological, and Quirky Biblical. And let’s say that when you do the introduction-and-dinner-table tests (or whatever tests are most helpful to you), you find that although any of the three styles work, the Quirky Biblical are the ones you feel are most right for your family—but you’re sad about losing the others. In that case, I’d recommend a first name and two middle names, and I’d set the pattern with the first child: Quirky Biblical first name, then one of the other two styles for each of the two middle names. The sibling names can all coordinate (Biblical Mythical Word Surname, or Biblical Word Mythical Surname), but with different styles in each name position. Or you can have just one middle name, and have it be from the category “We’re Not Going to Use It as a First Name, But We Can’t Bear to Give It Up Entirely.”<\/p>\n2. Double Up.<\/strong> Some names cover more than one category. Pearl, for example, is a vintage name and a word name. Abel\/Able is a biblical name and a virtue name. Phoebe is vintage, nature, and biblical. Finding names that satisfy more than one style can be a good way to cram extra name styles into a name.<\/p>\n3. The Happy Assortment.<\/strong> This is a good method if you have several styles you love, and you don’t mind if sibling names go together or not. I think this works best for families of three or more children: Calvin and Atlas seems more like a jarring pair than a happy assortment. The trick is to choose one name from each category, all equally non-coordinated, rather than choosing two names from one category and one name from a totally different category. I also think it works best if the names are approximately the same unusualness and mood: I think Evening and Thisbe is a less startling combination than Evening and Alice or Evening and Sally. And it helps to have a story: if we encounter a family with a Caden, a Brody, and a Harold, it’s not that we think that’s WRONG, it just gives us a natural desire to find out what HAPPENED there. As soon as the mother says, “My grandfather died during my third pregnancy,” our minds settle right down with that. Having a story for each child’s name (“John Calvin is our favorite theologian; I did my thesis on the Titans; and I found the name Evening in a short story and was instantly smitten with it”) BECOMES the unifying feature.<\/p>\n4. Take It Child by Child.<\/strong> I’m strongly in favor of choosing a style before beginning, but did I do that myself? Not really. What Paul and I did was wait until we knew our first child was a boy, and then we chose our favorite boy name and used it. When we were expecting our second boy, we made a second list (excluding names that didn’t work with the first child’s name), and we chose our favorite name from that. And so on. Our naming style changed over the years, too, in ways we couldn’t have anticipated: there were names I would have thought I’d be sad not to use, but by the time we had a chance to use them, I no longer wanted to. As long as you’re keeping the runners-up in mind (“Wait, if we use ____ for a boy, that would mean we wouldn’t want to use ____ if we later had a girl”), I think this is a method that can help you gradually choose the right set of names. I think it’s both fun and practical to think ahead\/big-picture, but sometimes it works better to narrow the focus from “the future sibling group of unknown size and sexes” to “the one baby currently at bat.”<\/p>\n5. Naming Other Things.<\/strong> Sometimes the actual primary issue is that we have way more naming interest than we have children to name; if that’s the situation, you’re in good company here. In that case, I recommend finding another outlet for the spare names: pets, dolls, computer networks, book characters, accounts, passwords, other people’s naming questions. It’s nowhere near as satisfying as naming our own actual children, and yet it can soak up some of the extra: when I felt particularly sad about a baby name we couldn’t use, I made it my password and enjoyed typing it in every day for awhile.<\/p>\n********<\/p>\n
More advice, please! Did\/do you love many styles of names? How did\/do\/will you handle it?<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Name update:<\/strong><\/p>\nDear Swistle,<\/p>\n
I emailed you nearly 4 years ago about how to choose a name style when one loves so many names. Featuring my question really did help. It settled the fact that we liked mostly noun and mythological names, and favored underused names. It took us a while, but we finally had our little miracle baby! When we found out we were having a girl, I was in love with Daphne, and my husband wanted Aurora. We were at a standstill. Then one evening my parents were rattling off a list of baby names, and this had been going on for quite some time. Our attention had started to wander but we were attempting to remain polite when my mom suggested a name that made both of us stop in our tracks. My husband even said, “Wait, go back!” My parents had visited \u00c9vora, Portugal, the year before, and suggested the name Evora: pronounced EH-vor-uh with the emphasis on the first syllable, and the same ‘e’ and ‘o’ sounds as the name Emory. We immediately loved it! We opted out of using the accent above the E, unless we really feel the need to clarify the pronunciation. We have a very simple last name so we decided she could handle a more unusual first name. Our family loves to travel, so we love the tie the name has to Portugal; I love the fact that the Romans named the city, so it is a very ancient name and ancient town with a beautiful Roman temple ruin; and we especially love that her grandparents helped in the naming process. (They were so thrilled we liked the name and immediately started arguing about who first suggested the name! *My mom clearly did, but we haven’t had the heart to break this news to my dad*).<\/p>\n
For her middle name we chose to honor my husband’s great aunt Ester, who was more like a grandma to him. Being Swedish, her name was spelled the Scandinavian way, and she was quite vocal about her opinion that the ‘h’ in Esther is silent and therefore, quite unnecessary. She was very spunky and a wonderful woman.<\/p>\n
We are proud to introduce our little Evora Ester Green, born November 29, 2016.<\/p>\n
Thank you for featuring my question and to you and your readers for all the help and wonderful suggestions! I am so thrilled I finally got to give an update!<\/p>\n
Erin & Justin<\/p>\n
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Erin writes: I’m hoping you could help me with a conundrum I’m having, and it may be that others are experiencing the same thing. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for two years now – during that time I found your site and have been an avid reader ever since. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7615","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-name-update","category-reference"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3iyiG-1YP","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7615","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7615"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7615\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12518,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7615\/revisions\/12518"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7615"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7615"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7615"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}