Tracy writes:<\/p>\n
I’m wondering if you can help settle an ongoing point of contention between my dear husband and myself. You see, we have been struggling with infertility for years now, and though we remain optimistic throughout our treatments, it’s been a trying process. One thing that never wavers, however, is my absolute madness for talking baby names.<\/p>\n
It always starts in the car. We’ll be driving along, and knowing that I have a captive audience, I’ll casually bring up a name I’ve been tossing around in my head in recent weeks. He will, of course, as the husbands tend to do, veto my every thought.<\/p>\n
Ugh. Men.<\/p>\n
Anyway, these conversations always come back to one name. My favorite baby girl name is Violet. I’ve loved it for years, and it reminds me of my grandmother who passed away many years ago. One of my first memories of her was walking in the woods picking the tiny purple flowers and being so proud of the itty bitty bouquet I had put together. We were very close.<\/p>\n
My grandmother was named Ruby, but my brother named his firstborn girl directly after her, so that association is firmly in place, and that name is off the table. I like that Violet is a subtle connection to her, and a sweet, vintage name to boot. Plus, I think that Violet and Ruby would make a stellar set of cousins!<\/p>\n
The problem is this: Our last name is White, and my husband feels that the Color Firstname Color Lastname combination is comical somehow.<\/p>\n
I, for one, do not find it displeasing or funny in the least, but I’m trying to gauge where others are on this matter. When I hear the name Violet White, I think of the flower first, and the very common last name second. She could be Violet Smith, for all that connection is worth to me.<\/p>\n
For him, it’s a no-go because he doesn’t want said imaginary girl-child to be made fun of. I say, she will be Violet to her school friends, or even Violet W. in a big class with a name that’s on the rise. I don’t see the issue.<\/p>\n
Plus, she may get married and change that name someday! What if she marries someone with the last name Rose? Can we prevent that? Should we refrain from naming her Georgia in case she might marry someone with the last name Brown one day?<\/p>\n
It goes on like this… Much huffing and eye-rolling, and then “Fine. We won’t talk about it anymore.” You get the picture.<\/p>\n
So my question is this: Not necessarily just in my case, but in general, is the color issue too much for people to accept, both with Violet White, and with other color names? Scarlet, Indigo, Jade, Grey, Rose, Saffron… Are these all off-limits to we of the color-surnames as well?<\/p>\n
Please help us settle this, Swistle. You’re our only hope! :)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
<\/p>\n
There is a significant difference between giving a child an amusing name, and the slim future possibility of a child marrying into an amusing name. The difference is that in the former situation, she has a 100% chance of having the name, and it was fully preventable; in the latter situation, she has a very tiny chance of having the amusing name, and there’s no practical way for you to avoid it.<\/p>\n
With Violet White, I immediately see the two colors—even though I usually think of Violet as a flower name, not a color name. But I don’t think it would be a disaster to use it: at most, it seems like it would cause mild amusement, but not severe mocking. I’m trying to imagine what kind of teasing could come from it, and I’m coming up with very little. “You have two colors as names, nyah nyah”? “In today’s outfit, you’re more like Pink Yellow har har”?<\/p>\n
If I put it to the “Would I want this name as my own?” test, I do feel weary at the idea of constantly having to respond to people noticing it. But on the other hand there would be some upsides: it makes for a very pretty and memorable name, and it seems like it might be fun to have, and it also seems like it might be fun to play it up with room decor in those colors.<\/p>\n
It sounds to me as if the real deal-breaker here is that your husband finds the combination comical. We could take a vote, and we could have near-100% agreement that it was NOT comical, and he would still find it comical. So explaining to him that it shouldn’t be comical, or that it isn’t comical to you\/us, isn’t going to change anything. I think this means yes, in your family, color first names will be out—but that doesn’t mean they have to be out for everyone.<\/p>\n
It helps when the name is not ONLY a color. For example, I would have to clench my teeth to say that Grey White was a fine name and there was nothing wrong with using it. But Ruby White and Rose White are much less of a problem, because rubies are also gemstones and roses are also flowers—and in fact I think of them FIRST as gemstones\/flowers, and notice them as colors only when they’re sitting next to another color.<\/p>\n
If Violet were your grandmother’s name, I would be more inclined to fight for this. Because it’s a noun that connects to one of many happy memories, I’m more inclined to suggest that you find another word or name (her maiden name? her middle name? her mother’s name?) that reminds you of her, or perhaps you could use Violet or Ruby as the middle name.<\/p>\n
Even though I don’t think it will sway your husband, I do think it would be fun to have a poll:<\/p>\n
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