N. writes:<\/p>\n
We are expecting our first child, a boy, this January and I am having the hardest time settling\/making my peace with a name! We had all sorts of girl names that we loved but boy names are a completely different story . . . honestly, my first thought when we found out the gender was – how <\/i>will we ever find a name?!\u00a0 And ever since then, I’ve just been going round and round in my head about it.<\/p>\n
So, here are the details: our last name sounds like Bieber (No, “Justin” is not a contender) but is spelled differently and we will be giving the baby my maiden name as a second middle name.\u00a0 My maiden name sounds like Elbrecht (pronounced *very* German, like you’re sneezing at the end, not “Elbright”).\u00a0 We both would really like to use family names and would like something uncommon but not weird.\u00a0 Although, to be perfectly honest, I’d be willing to break the family name rule if we found a name that we really loved.<\/p>\n
Ok, the lead contender right now is Hartman David, but I keep worrying that Hartman is too strange and\/or people hate it.\u00a0 Does it make you think of Cartman from South Park?\u00a0 Is it less weird if he goes by Hart?\u00a0 But I do like that David means beloved and that Hart is close to, well, heart.\u00a0 Goes together, right?\u00a0 Plus, he could always go by David if he really hated Hart.<\/p>\n
If we don’t use Hartman as the first name, it’ll definitely be the second as we’re both agreed that we want to honor the person it’ll be after.\u00a0 Other possible first names under consideration:
Clark (husband worried about “Clark” being associated with Clark Griswold, I worry that Clark is too “hard” sounding)
Owen (possibly my favorite, although I worry that it is just too popular, and my husband has a mild distaste for it for some reason . . .)<\/p>\nConsidered but discarded:
Xavier (my favorite, husband hates)
Wyatt (my second favorite but not a family name and previously claimed by friend)
Richard (hated by current name-holder)
Paul (just no love for it in particular)
Benjamin, Andrew, Joseph (too common)
Lloyd, Vernon, Virgil, Olaf (too weird, also, by this point, we are way <\/i>back in ye olde family tree)<\/p>\nAlthough this will be our first babe, we plan to have several more so . . . hopefully they will be girls! (Just for ease of naming, of course.)\u00a0 And, for reference, the girl name we loved was Eloise.<\/p>\n
Please, please help!<\/p>\n
Oh, I forgot one!\u00a0 I also suggested Calvin in the beginning (because of my love for A Wrinkle in Time and Calvin and Hobbes) and we both thought it acceptable but ultimately haven’t pursued it because it’s not a family name.\u00a0 Part of me wonders if I just need to let that go since it seems so constraining . . . but then I love the idea of making the name a tie to family history and previous generations.<\/p>\n
Thank you! <\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Reading about how difficult it is to come up with enough family name candidates for even the first child of a hoped-for several, I do think you should consider changing that policy. Or rather, I think you should consider deciding that three family\/honor names per child is enough to satisfy that preference, and the fourth name can be one you chose because you liked it. And then it won’t matter as much if the family\/honor name is one you don’t fervently love or is a little unusual or is one that someone else already used, because you can use it as the first of the two middle names and voila! Or if you find you have plenty of family names to choose two different ones for every single girl you have, that will be fine too: the rule would just be “At least one family\/honor name, in addition to the two other family names each child will automatically get,” instead of “All four names need to be family\/honor names.”<\/p>\n
The name Hartman first makes me think of Phil Hartman<\/a>, which would be a positive association for me except that I also think right away of his sad death. But it’s hard to say what percentage of the population would think the same way, and his murder was fourteen years ago now. It’s unlikely the child’s peers will make the association, even if a percentage of the peers’ parents\/teachers do.<\/p>\n