{"id":16595,"date":"2024-05-01T15:59:51","date_gmt":"2024-05-01T19:59:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/?p=16595"},"modified":"2024-05-13T19:33:01","modified_gmt":"2024-05-13T23:33:01","slug":"baby-naming-issue-choosing-a-new-name-for-a-transgender-5-year-old","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/2024\/05\/01\/baby-naming-issue-choosing-a-new-name-for-a-transgender-5-year-old\/","title":{"rendered":"Baby Naming Issue: Choosing a New Name for a Transgender 5-Year-Old"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hi Swistle!<\/p>\n

I am a long-time reader, first-time name-help-seeker. We have two kids, @lice and H@rvey. My older child @lice is five years old and has been pretty insistent about not being a girl since age three. We have been following @lice’s lead and using she\/her pronouns but always saying “kid” instead of “girl,” etc. It was never clear to me if @lice is trans or nonbinary or something else, but over the weekend he finally told us that he is a boy and wants to use he\/him pronouns. I am fully supportive of this, although I am terrified given the political climate in our state and the fact that gender-affirming healthcare for trans youth has recently been completely outlawed. Buuuuut let’s ignore that for now and turn to the fun things: (non-)baby names!<\/p>\n

I love the name @lice and am so very sad to see it (probably) go. I am not sure if @lice even knows that his first name is traditionally feminine, but we are going to have that conversation soon. If he were, say, a pre-teen, I would let him choose whatever he wanted as a new name (assuming he wants a new name), but I am somewhat worried that at this age we would end up with a preschooler named “Spiderman.” If he were assigned male at birth, he would have been H@rvey, although having two of them in our house seems needlessly confusing now.<\/p>\n

What should we put on the short-list of options to present to him? Ideally I would like suggestions in the same style as @lice and H@rvey. Maybe keep the same first initial? Maybe not? His middle name is R@do (rhymes with Play-Doh), which is his late great-grandmother’s name but rare enough to pass as male or gender-neutral or whatever. I like Alex too, since it’s pretty close to @lice and adds an “X,” which is kind of fun. Something somewhat gender neutral might cover more bases as his identity evolves over time. Do you or your readers have any other suggestions?<\/p>\n

Thanks!
\nJ@k<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

I might offer him Al or Rado or A.R. or maybe Alex\/Alix, to see if he wants to use any of those, and wait on any further re-namings until he is older and more able to lead\/direct the process. In fact, my first thought was to continue calling him @lice for the time being, and follow his lead on the renaming as you have followed his lead on pronouns; but my second thought was that it does seem like it would be nice to get something less Girl in place before gradeschool begins, if only to reduce the amount of time you have to spend discussing it with people who don’t need to know, and aren’t even asking to know, but have merely tripped over the combination of a currently-used-for-girls name plus he\/him pronouns.<\/p>\n

I lean toward choosing a nickname that comes from his given names for now, rather than coming up with something new. This is, again, to follow his lead, and to avoid jumping the gun, and to reduce the total number of name changes. On the other hand, I admit it also appeals to me to think of temporarily\/informally renaming him Ellis: very, very close in sound to @lice, yet worlds apart in style—and a nice fit with H@rvey. Alfie appeals similarly, though is a bigger jump in sound; very nice with H@rvey, though.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Name update:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear Swistle,<\/p>\n

Thank you for publishing my letter. The help and encouragement from you and your readers was enormously reassuring and validating during a sort of difficult transition in my family. We broached the name subject at dinner one evening and suggested Al (a shortened version of my dad’s name too), Alex, and Rado. He immediately chose Rado and then said, “I’ll be the only ‘R’ in my class!” I have been surprised and delighted by how much confidence and just… a sense of right-ness with the world that the new name has brought him. Happy Mother’s Day to you and your readers, and thank you for being part of the village that supports me to be the best mom I can be for these lovely little creatures.<\/p>\n

\u2764\ufe0f Jak<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi Swistle! I am a long-time reader, first-time name-help-seeker. We have two kids, @lice and H@rvey. My older child @lice is five years old and has been pretty insistent about not being a girl since age three. We have been following @lice’s lead and using she\/her pronouns but always saying “kid” instead of “girl,” etc. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16595","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-name-update"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3iyiG-4jF","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16595","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16595"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16595\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16613,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16595\/revisions\/16613"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16595"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16595"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16595"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}