{"id":15342,"date":"2021-04-14T09:59:33","date_gmt":"2021-04-14T13:59:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/?p=15342"},"modified":"2021-04-14T12:30:02","modified_gmt":"2021-04-14T16:30:02","slug":"baby-girl-or-boy-sibling-to-ethan-and-sophia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/2021\/04\/14\/baby-girl-or-boy-sibling-to-ethan-and-sophia\/","title":{"rendered":"Baby Girl or Boy, Sibling to Ethan and Sophia"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hi Swistle,<\/p>\n

My husband and I are expecting our 3rd child, and we don\u2019t know the gender. We\u2019ve essentially agreed on Eliana for a girl, but for a boy I\u2019m torn between 2 names- Nicholas and Benjamin.<\/p>\n

Our first two children are Ethan Justin (Justin after my husband) and Sophia Grace.<\/p>\n

I loved these names because of their sound but also because of their meaning. Ethan \u201cstrong\u201d and Justin \u201crighteous\u201d and Sophia \u201cwise\u201d and Grace \u201cgraceful\u201d.<\/p>\n

So I have a strong and righteous boy and a wise and graceful girl and it fits both of them perfectly. Now with number 3 we are a little more established, but and I love that Nicholas means \u201cvictory of the people\u201d, and I like that it can go with middle name John (after my Dad).<\/p>\n

Benjamin is my husbands first choice, and I have to admit it has really grown on me. It seems to flow better with the name of our other kids.
\nWhat I don\u2019t like is it\u2019s meaning \u201cson of the right hand\u201d or \u201cson of old age\u201d. Also, I don\u2019t want his initials to be BJ so I wouldn\u2019t use John for a middle name. Most likely I\u2019d use Alexander.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d like to know what you think of when you think of these two names and experiences with people with these names.<\/p>\n

Thanks very much<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

What I think is that name meanings are fun the way horoscopes are fun. I always look up the meanings of names I’m considering for my own children, just as I look up their zodiac signs once they’re born—but I don’t think of it as something that Actually Signifies anything, and I wouldn’t let name meanings decide the names I chose, any more than I’d let zodiac signs decide the timing for trying for a pregnancy. It’s fun when the meaning enhances a name, but not a deal-breaker when it doesn’t. I think it’s nice that your first two children’s name meanings enhance their names for you, and fun that so far it’s working out that the meanings seem to fit with who they are. But if you and your husband both prefer the name Benjamin, I absolutely would not advise letting the meanings of the name candidates overrule your preference. So that is where I am starting from, but I know we have lots of commenters who are more into name meanings than I am, so this is where I think the group-project element of this site really pays off.<\/p>\n

I think I’d start by looking a little further into what is it you like about the meaning of the name Nicholas, “victory of the people” (or, elsewhere: “people of victory<\/a>” or “people’s conqueror<\/a>“). I can easily imagine contemporary applications that would make this meaning feel like it was referring to triumph over evil\/injustice, and\/or more generally to justice\/strength\/righteousness—but my mind also goes toward the violent and war-like elements of those concepts. It feels like a veer from the virtue meanings of strong, righteous, wise, and graceful.<\/p>\n

And I’d want to look a little further into what you DON’T like about the meanings of the name Benjamin. I dabbled a little, and one theory<\/a> seems to be that “son of the right hand” is a reference to strength, in which case the name Benjamin coordinates particularly nicely with the name Ethan. More generally: someone on your right hand is someone you can trust and depend on; to be seated at someone’s right hand is to be given the highest possible honor. And the other possibility, “son of old age,” feels comforting and nurturing to me; again, a nice combination with strength\/righteousness and wisdom\/gracefulness—and a nice way to be careful that we are not thinking of boys as having one set of virtues and girls as having a different set.<\/p>\n

It seems to me that the main loss, if you use Benjamin, is John as the middle name. I think of B.J. as problematic initials mostly if they’re the first\/last initials (i.e., noticeable to other people), or if the parents plan to call the child by first\/middle initials (or think others in their circle might do so). If not, I think you could still use John as the middle name—but if it persists in bothering you, I do understand: I have similar aversions among my own name preferences. Alexander is nice; is it an honor name? Does B.A._. work okay with the surname initial? Are there any other honor names from your side of the family that would work well? Could your name or your middle name or your mother’s name or your maiden name be given, in its own form or in another form (Paula\/Paul, Louise\/Louis, Brianne\/Brian, etc.), to balance the honor of using your husband’s first name for one of your other children? Or perhaps you would want to find a middle name with a meaning that makes you happier about the meaning of the name overall; if you haven’t already discovered it, I recommend The Completely Reverse-Dictionary of Baby Names<\/a> for this (though double-check the meanings with other sources).<\/p>\n

As names considered without their meanings, I think Nicholas and Benjamin are equivalent names: both have been so widely used, and over such a long period of time, that their associations are pleasingly diluted. Both have good nicknames; both go well with the sibling names. And I think that both are friendly, solid choices that would serve a person well throughout their life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi Swistle, My husband and I are expecting our 3rd child, and we don\u2019t know the gender. We\u2019ve essentially agreed on Eliana for a girl, but for a boy I\u2019m torn between 2 names- Nicholas and Benjamin. Our first two children are Ethan Justin (Justin after my husband) and Sophia Grace. I loved these names […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15342","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3iyiG-3Zs","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15342","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15342"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15342\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15350,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15342\/revisions\/15350"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15342"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15342"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15342"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}