{"id":15331,"date":"2021-04-04T14:47:33","date_gmt":"2021-04-04T18:47:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/?p=15331"},"modified":"2021-07-24T11:45:53","modified_gmt":"2021-07-24T15:45:53","slug":"baby-girl-instiss-sister-to-laura-tilson-tilly-and-louisa-susan-lulu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/2021\/04\/04\/baby-girl-instiss-sister-to-laura-tilson-tilly-and-louisa-susan-lulu\/","title":{"rendered":"Baby Girl Instiss, Sister to Laura Tilson “Tilly” and Louisa Susan “Lulu”"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hi Swistle!<\/p>\n

This is baby girl # 3 and we don\u2019t plan on having more children. Our last name is pronounced In-Stiss but starts with an E and ends in the spelling \u201cice.\u201d Our daughters are Tilly (Laura Tilson) and Lulu (Louisa Susan)- all of those names being family names, tributes to grandparents and parents.<\/p>\n

I would like this baby to be named in a way that honors my grandmother, whose name was Frances Bernice, but who always went by \u201cBea.\u201d My name is also Frances but I go by Franny.<\/p>\n

Our first choice became Beatrice because I like it more than Bernice and the nickname \u201cBea\u201d can honor my grandmother. Then we realized that with our last name this may not work: \u201cBee-ah -triss In- stiss\u201d – both names end in the same sound and also both share the same last letters \u201cice.\u201d
\nNow we feel we cannot use the name- do you agree?
\nMy husband also thinks that \u201cBea Instiss\u201d just doesn\u2019t roll off the tongue\/ sound right.<\/p>\n

Our new favorite choice became Ruth- Ruth Bernice or Ruth Frances- nickname Ruthie.
\nThis name popped up as one we both have always liked and we feel it fits in well with our other daughters\u2019 names. It is a (distant) family name and I worry it doesn\u2019t hold as much \u201cmeaning\u201d as the other names we\u2019ve used. Also I\u2019m sad to walk away from using the name Bea. I do love the name Ruthie though and have for some time.
\nI consider the name Ruth a classic\/ biblical name but I\u2019m wondering if it will become \u201ctrendy\u201d this year with many families honoring Ruth Bader Ginsburg?<\/p>\n

Final option that I\u2019m still toying with- I have always loved the name Blaire for a girl-
\nBlaire Frances nicknamed Bea or Frances Blaire nicknamed Bea. My husband does not feel that Bea is a nickname for Blaire like it is for Beatrice or Bernice. I worry that Blaire doesn\u2019t fall into the same category as our other daughters\u2019 names (traditional yet whimsical? I don\u2019t know how to categorize them!)<\/p>\n

Can you provide any insight into what name would be best for this new addition?
\nWe just continue to go in circles!<\/p>\n

Other family names we\u2019ve considered: Tucker, Mary nicknamed Mae or Minnie, Frances with another nickname (could Annie, Nan or Nancy be a nickname for Frances?)<\/p>\n

Other names we like: Martha, Clementine, Poppy, Daisy<\/p>\n

Thanks to you and your readers for any help you can give us in naming this special girl! I promise I will give an update!<\/p>\n

Franny<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

I started by trying to figure out a way to make Bea work for Blair (“Well, it’s like B., which would be a perfectly legitimate nickname for any name starting with B…”), but then started feeling like “Bea, from B., from Blair, for Frances-Bernice-called-Bea” was getting too many steps away from the honor name.<\/p>\n

But I don’t think of Bea as a nickname for Bernice, either. DID it come from that, in your grandmother’s case? It seems like so many women of that generation had names like “Eleanor Ann, called Peggy” or “Margaret Mildred, called Dolly.” And I do think it’s possible to just DO that: Frances Blair, called Bea; or Ruth Bernice, called Bea. But it also makes me feel a little tired.<\/p>\n

Wait. Wait wait. Actually, I don’t feel tired when I consider the option of naming her Frances Bernice, called Bea. Then it becomes FULLY naming her after your grandmother: both of your grandmother’s actual names, plus her nickname. AND, this then clicks into a naming practice more familiar to us with male names: your daughter would have the same first name as you, so it would be familiar\/expected for her to have a different nickname to avoid confusion.<\/p>\n

So that is my STRONG first choice: Frances Bernice, called Bea. Your grandmother’s entire name\/nickname, and also your first name. An absolute total package of an honor name. I don’t really want to consider anything else.<\/p>\n

But I don’t think you have to rule out Beatrice Instiss, if you prefer that option. I think it’s probably a little tricky to say, and Not Quite Ideal in its combination of sounds—but something I’ve noticed over the years is how VERY MANY names are Not Quite Ideal. If you look at the credits of a movie or TV show, or leaf through a yearbook, there are SO MANY names that, if they came up on this blog, we might all agree Don’t Quite Work—and yet! there they are! working!<\/p>\n

This morning I was listening to NPR, and once again noticed Franco Ordo\u00f1ez carefully saying his name. If his parents had come to us, I think quite a few of us would have recommended avoiding putting all those O’s together—but there he is, saying that name on the air, and if anything it’s catchy. Similarly, I might have advised against the name Windsor Johnston, explaining that I found the whole thing difficult to say with all those sturdy consonants—and yet, after hearing Windsor Johnston say her name again and again over the years, and saying it myself, I see how it gets easier with practice and familiarity.<\/p>\n

I don’t worry about how a nickname sounds with a surname, as long as it doesn’t result in something rude or silly (the classic example is Ben Dover). Bea Instiss is fine, and would not likely be said very often anyway, and will sound normal once it’s familiar. And “Tilly, Lulu, and Bea” is a pretty unbeatable set of sibling nicknames.<\/p>\n

I also love Ruth. I like Ruth Frances best, to honor you and your grandmother. I don’t think it would be possible for that name to feel trendy, even if it became much more popular. And if it DOES have a surge of popularity because of RBG, I think that would be touching and delightful, and that it might feel lovely to have your daughter one of that group. (I am getting a little choked up thinking about this.)<\/p>\n

Still: my top favorite by far is Frances Bernice, called Bea. If it were my job to assign names to babies, that is the name I would assign to this one, and I would do it with decisive confidence.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Name update:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear Swistle,
\nI\u2019m in disbelief that it\u2019s taken me 3 months to write, probably the fastest 3 months of my life! Your response was just perfect and most of all made me excited to name our daughter again, it felt like we couldn\u2019t go wrong. After your response I was almost 100% sold on Frances Bernice nickname Bea. However I just kept coming back to the fact that I don\u2019t love the name Frances (even though it\u2019s my own!) or Bernice. <\/p>\n

I kept thinking about names that “don’t quite work” working. It is genius! I was overthinking the whole thing.
\nI love the name Beatrice and after speaking with my mom I felt like my grandmother would be so honored by a baby Bea regardless of her full name. <\/p>\n

Your “not quite ideal” and “don’t quite work” theory also influenced us in another way. I’ve always felt like we needed to honor my mother in law who is such a great grandmother but both her first and middle name always “didn’t quite work” so were dismissed early in the naming process. Suddenly I was like I don’t care I want her to feel honored! When we got to the hospital I said to my husband “well this doesn’t “sound” right to me at all but I suddenly want to give the baby your mom’s middle name.” He was like that is so weird I was just thinking the same thing!<\/p>\n

So our perfect miracle girl got her perfect imperfect name!<\/p>\n

Beatrice Lynn \u201cBea\u201d<\/p>\n

Thank you and your readers for all your help! <\/p>\n

Franny<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi Swistle! This is baby girl # 3 and we don\u2019t plan on having more children. Our last name is pronounced In-Stiss but starts with an E and ends in the spelling \u201cice.\u201d Our daughters are Tilly (Laura Tilson) and Lulu (Louisa Susan)- all of those names being family names, tributes to grandparents and parents. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15331","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-name-update"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3iyiG-3Zh","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15331","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15331"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15331\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15517,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15331\/revisions\/15517"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15331"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15331"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15331"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}