[My last day of work was one week ago yesterday, when we were thinking “I wonder if the library might even CLOSE because of this!” Reshelving library books is not a job I can do from home, so I have some time on my hands. Those of you in a similar boat, I suggest we use some of that time to name some sweet little babies.]<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Dear Swistle,<\/p>\n
Our surname is pronounced like \u201cpain\u201d though it is spelled differently. This has made choosing a name difficult! I\u2019m wondering how you navigate situations where the surname has meaning and in our case, not a pleasant meaning?!<\/p>\n
We are expecting a boy early summer to join two boy siblings. We\u2019ve used up our list of boy names: Aaron and Charles (nn Charlie) and are in need of help with this third one (and likely final).<\/p>\n
An example of the issue we\u2019re running into is that some names simply are off the table because of their meaning: Miles, Grant, Will (if went by that nn for William), and others because of combo \/ initials in general: Peter (and anything starting with a P or T).<\/p>\n
I tend to fret perhaps more than warranted about this issue. For example, after naming Charlie I realized someone could make the connection that a Charlie horse causes pain which could be a source of teasing. Friends tell me that is far-fetched. My husband said he has heard every variation of teasing with the surname growing up and it doesn\u2019t matter what the first name is-they will be teased. He said he was called a pain, painful, even window pane??<\/p>\n
We intentionally named our boys with multi-syllable names that likely wouldn\u2019t be shortened to single syllable nick names with a softer initial sound also to lessen the severity of the sound of our surname which is compounded by the severity of its meaning.<\/p>\n
Are there other \/ different things we should keep in mind?<\/p>\n
In terms of names to consider, our list is painfully short (pun intended):). While it\u2019s super popular now, I love James but it does have a different ring than a multi-syllable name and almost rhymes (my husband is against it). Other favorites of mine include Henry, Harry (has the issue with both Harry and \u201cPain\u201d having meaning and could be a huge source of teasing!), and my husband\u2019s hands-down favorite, Benjamin (over time would probably be shortened to Ben which then is one-syllable and has a similar ending as the surname, and Ben also meshes weirdly with the beginning of our surname, in my opinion).<\/p>\n
I\u2019m also wanting to be sensitive to sibling names not sounding too similar, so an -ie or -y ending might be off limits because of Charlie?<\/p>\n
I, especially, like classic names, and dislike super trendy names, even if classic. For example, Theodore, Sebastian, etc are off the table as there are a bunch of them where we live. My husband likes classic names that are a little more common than I do, but we both want names that could generally be spelled by someone over the phone (though this is an interesting criteria now as so many variations in spelling have become popular that even my husband\u2019s common name of Brian has been misspelled more often than not, recently).<\/p>\n
Other names we are potentially considering include Joseph (though it\u2019s my brother\u2019s name and probably would be shortened over time to Joe), Wesley (though kinda popular, rhymes with Charlie, and may be shortened over time to Wes which in addition to being monosyllabic, bleeds weirdly into the surname, in my opinion), Roland (issue with ending of D sound going into P of surname, and again could sound like \u201crolling pain\u201d which wouldn\u2019t be good!!).<\/p>\n
If we were having a girl, names we\u2019d consider include Lydia, Valentine, Josephine, Caroline, Louise, Meredith.<\/p>\n
We plead for help with this \u201cpainful\u201d issue!!<\/p>\n
Many thanks,
\nMichelle<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/p>\n
Let us start with a suggestion that will not work in this particular situation—but we do these posts in part to help others in similar situations. The suggestion is this: use the other parent’s surname. The infrequent usage of that option is as amazing to me as that we have had 45 male presidents and male vice-presidents in a row. I went to school with a girl whose surname was Dick, and a boy whose surname was Butt. We don’t have to live this way when we have another equally valid surname to use.<\/p>\n
Well. In cases where the family surname has already been chosen and it is a surname with a negative meaning, I think you are exactly on the right track: carefully test out first names and their nicknames\/initials, and try to pick the least teasable options. Your husband is certainly right that the surname will result in a certain level of teasing no matter what, but he’s wrong that therefore it doesn’t matter what the first name is: there’s no need to add MORE teasing to the situation. But I also agree with your friends that Charlie to charlie horse to charlie horses causing pain is too big of a stretch to worry about. It’s hard to imagine the taunt: “Ha ha, I have a CHARLIE HORSE! Which hurts—or, as you might say, CAUSES PAIN! Nyah nyah, Charlie (Horse Causes) Pain!” No self-respecting bully would try to make that fly.<\/p>\n
I think Henry would be great. Henry Pain sounds excellent and doesn’t increase the tease factor; Aaron, Charlie, and Henry is a great set of brothers. Having a similar-sounding ending to Charlie seems like a non-issue. I say do it and be done with it!<\/p>\n
I think Benjamin Pain is good too, and that Aaron, Charlie, and Ben makes a great set of siblings (except it makes me want to put them in ABC order). I agree with you that Ben Pain is not ideal, but I don’t think it’s at a dealbreaking level: it’s just slightly odd, and with nicknames I feel like the flow doesn’t matter so much.<\/p>\n
I like Joseph, too, and I think Joe Pain sounds kind of cool.<\/p>\n
“Rolling pain” is not a thing, and Roland\/rolling sound pretty different anyway, so I don’t think that’s an issue with Roland. (I wondered if you might instead be thinking of the similarity to rolling pin, but I’d say Roland Pain doesn’t sound enough like rolling pin for that to be an issue either—even if rolling pins were a negative thing.) I do have a little bit of trouble going from the -d to the P-, but not enough trouble to rule the name out. I would pretty quickly just get used to putting a tiny pause in there: Roland.Pain.<\/p>\n
I really think Henry is the answer, but let’s see if we can find some more candidates to consider.<\/p>\n
Elliot Pain; Aaron, Charlie, and Elliot
\nEthan Pain; Aaron, Charlie, and Ethan
\nGeorge Pain; Aaron, Charlie, and George
\nJared Pain; Aaron, Charlie, and Jared
\nJoshua Pain, Josh Pain; Aaron, Charles, and Joshua; Aaron, Charlie, and Josh
\nLuke Pain; Aaron, Charlie, and Luke
\nNathan Pain, Nate Pain; Aaron, Charles, and Nathan; Aaron, Charlie, and Nate
\nNicholas Pain, Nick Pain; Aaron, Charles, and Nicholas; Aaron, Charlie, and Nick
\nNolan Pain; Aaron, Charlie, and Nolan
\nSeth Pain; Aaron, Charlie, and Seth
\nThomas Pain, Tom Pain; Aaron, Charles, and Thomas; Aaron, Charlie, and Tom (starts with T.)<\/p>\n(HENRY.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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