{"id":14474,"date":"2019-12-21T15:36:37","date_gmt":"2019-12-21T19:36:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/?p=14474"},"modified":"2019-12-21T15:36:37","modified_gmt":"2019-12-21T19:36:37","slug":"baby-naming-issue-how-should-i-proceed-if-i-want-to-use-the-same-name-my-friend-used-which-was-already-my-pick-before-her-son-was-born-and-in-fact-she-may-have-gotten-the-name-idea-from-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/2019\/12\/21\/baby-naming-issue-how-should-i-proceed-if-i-want-to-use-the-same-name-my-friend-used-which-was-already-my-pick-before-her-son-was-born-and-in-fact-she-may-have-gotten-the-name-idea-from-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Baby Naming Issue: How Should I Proceed If I Want To Use the Same Name My Friend Used, Which Was Already My Pick Before Her Son Was Born and in Fact She May Have Gotten the Name Idea from Me?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hi Swistle,<\/p>\n

When I was pregnant with my first child and contemplating names, we decided on a name for a boy that was unique and not popular. I ended up having a girl and love her name.<\/p>\n

A year after my daughter was born, I started a friendship with another woman who was pregnant. When discussing names, I brought up my boy pick and she didn\u2019t say anything about it. She recently gave birth and named her son the exact same name that I have saved for a boy. To make things more complicated, she recently found out that her son has special needs.<\/p>\n

Now, I\u2019m pregnant with my second child and am contemplating using the name if I have a boy. How should I proceed if I want to use the name for a son?<\/p>\n

Thanks.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

In your shoes, here would be my concern: That the other woman might not remember the earlier conversation, and that she would therefore think I had stolen the name idea from her. And she genuinely might not remember you mentioning it, and could have come up with it a different way. If I could send you back in time, I might have you react as soon as she told you the child’s name: “Oh! The same as our boy-name pick! How wonderful! Obviously I love that name and think you have great taste!”<\/p>\n

If I were you, I would discuss it with her again when it comes up naturally, so that you can gauge her reaction. Like, if she knows you are pregnant, it is likely she checks in about how your pregnancy is going, whether you’ve thought of names, etc; the next time it comes up, you could say your boy name pick is still _____, the same as it was for your first pregnancy, and then move smoothly on to discussing girl-name possibilities. People vary tremendously in how they feel about duplicate names within their social circles, so this conversation can give you some useful information about what is at stake here.<\/p>\n

But if you think your contemplation may lead you to choose a different name, or if you plan on finding out the sex of the baby before the birth, then I might not bring it up yet: no sense causing potential strife\/stress when it may not be necessary, especially if she may be a little overwhelmed right now with other concerns.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi Swistle, When I was pregnant with my first child and contemplating names, we decided on a name for a boy that was unique and not popular. I ended up having a girl and love her name. A year after my daughter was born, I started a friendship with another woman who was pregnant. When […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14474","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3iyiG-3Ls","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14474","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14474"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14474\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14475,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14474\/revisions\/14475"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14474"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14474"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14474"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}