{"id":13004,"date":"2017-10-17T10:39:24","date_gmt":"2017-10-17T14:39:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/?p=13004"},"modified":"2017-10-17T10:43:50","modified_gmt":"2017-10-17T14:43:50","slug":"baby-naming-issue-how-to-make-people-stop-using-a-nickname-pet-name","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/2017\/10\/17\/baby-naming-issue-how-to-make-people-stop-using-a-nickname-pet-name\/","title":{"rendered":"Baby Naming Issue: How To Make People Stop Using a Nickname \/ Pet Name"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hello – I have a question that I need your help with as it’s driving me nuts. My daughter was born a few months ago and we’ve had a steady stream of friends and family come over to meet her. I always introduce her as her proper name, but inevitably someone starts talking to her calling her a nickname. How do I politely dissuade people from calling her a nickname that I hate? If I wanted you to call her something, I would have said so (for example, “her name is Violet but we call her Vi”).<\/p>\n

PS – her name is not something that people commonly shorten, (such as Katelynn, nickname Kate). Her name is similar to Lydia and the nicknames would be like Ly or LyLy.<\/p>\n

Thanks for your help,
\nM<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

I suspect it would be helpful to start by discussing the difference between a nickname and a pet name.<\/p>\n

Examples of nicknames:<\/p>\n

Elizabeth: Liz, Libby, Bessie, Beth
\nWilliam: Will, Bill, Liam
\nCharlotte: Charlie, Lottie
\nMadison: Maddie
\nNicholas: Nick, Cole
\nIsabella: Izzy, Bella
\nJoshua: Josh
\nJames: Jim, Jimmy, Jamie
\nLydia: Liddy<\/p>\n

Nicknames are part of the parents’ name choice until the child is old enough to take control of that decision. Parents are well within their rights to announce: “Her name is Elizabeth; we’ll be calling her Bess”—and then to kindly, politely enforce that. “Actually we’re calling her Bess, not Beth.”<\/p>\n

Examples of pet names:<\/p>\n

Jacob: Jay-jay
\nJosiah: Jojo
\nAnna: Anna-Banana
\nJared: Jare-Bear
\nNaomi: Nay-nay
\nJulia: Jujubee
\nRiley: Ry-Ry<\/p>\n

Some short forms are on the line between nickname and pet name, and some can go either way depending on intent (Wills, for example, as a nickname for William, or Lulu for Lucy). The rule of thumb I use is this: Is anyone going to write it on a school paper? A child might very well write Liddy, Beth, Liam, Maddie, or Cole, but they would not write Ry-Ry, Jare-Bear, or Jujubee.<\/p>\n

Pet names are like baby talk. They’re silly affectionate wordplay with the baby’s name, usually done by people who are dazzled by the baby’s cuteness to the point of losing some of their ability to form normal words. Pet names are a verbal form of love not intended as a parent-overriding attempt to create an official nickname. They’re a useful way to take a respectable given name and make it fit the temporary Tiny Squoodger stage. Later, pet names are still affectionate but generally less baby-talky, like using Soph for Sophia or Em for Emily. (Though I understand Anna-Banana and Hannah-Banana tend to be permanent.) They’re still not likely to be written on an inter-office memo the way Will or Liz could be.<\/p>\n

If the parents truly, truly hate a pet name, they can attempt to stop it, though it may take more effort and energy than new parents want to spend. Ideally, the parent would be ready with a back-up pet name: “Oh, Dad, I just hate the nickname Jelly-Belly for some reason. How about Bella-boo instead?”<\/p>\n

Of course if we are talking about something more like a nickname (Coco for Cora, for example), then I think you can nip it in the bud the usual way: “Oh, we’re not using the nickname—it’s just Cora.” But if we’re talking about pet names, I would advise letting people do it, just as I’d advise allowing them to squeeze cheeks and make kissy noises and ask WHO is the best baby in the world, WHO is?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hello – I have a question that I need your help with as it’s driving me nuts. My daughter was born a few months ago and we’ve had a steady stream of friends and family come over to meet her. I always introduce her as her proper name, but inevitably someone starts talking to her […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13004","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3iyiG-3nK","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13004","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13004"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13004\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13007,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13004\/revisions\/13007"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13004"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13004"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13004"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}