{"id":11956,"date":"2016-03-14T11:12:57","date_gmt":"2016-03-14T15:12:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/?p=11956"},"modified":"2016-03-15T08:53:02","modified_gmt":"2016-03-15T12:53:02","slug":"baby-naming-issue-the-logistics-of-keeping-the-name-a-secret-until-the-birth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/2016\/03\/14\/baby-naming-issue-the-logistics-of-keeping-the-name-a-secret-until-the-birth\/","title":{"rendered":"Baby Naming Issue: The Logistics of Keeping the Name a Secret Until the Birth"},"content":{"rendered":"

Good morning Swistle!
\nMy husband and I are expecting our first baby in September. We would like to keep the name a secret… Unwanted advice is on the top 5 pregnancy annoyances and I’m not ready to cause confrontation.
\nInstead of saying ” we haven’t decided yet or are unsure” for the next 6 months, I thought of casually mentioning some decoy names. (Can you really say you aren’t sure at 39 weeks without getting more advice bout baby preparedness?) Saying we aren’t sharing might come across as rude. I’m thinking it can be casual as in ” we kinda like blah blah but aren’t really sure”
\nGood idea? Bad idea? Good example baby decoy names?
\nI know this sounds like a Cop-out but the questions are coming in Full force and I’m not ready to share.<\/p>\n

Thank you so much<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ah! Yes! It’s one thing to say “Just don’t TELL anyone,” and quite another to deal with the constant, constant questions. I found that the only way I could manage it was by saying, “We’re keeping the name a surprise!” It didn’t feel rude to say it that way, and it makes the situation clear. Another way to soften the answer is to say that you’re waiting until the baby is born, to make sure the name fits before you announce it, and\/or just in case you change your minds right at the last minute.<\/p>\n

If you don’t mind discussing names and just don’t want to reveal the final choices, you can talk about the TYPES of names you like, and\/or mention a few you considered but decided against. “But I CAN say that we considered William and Henry!” or “We’re thinking along the lines of unusual-but-not-too-weird” or “We really wanted to use [name], but can’t because of [reason]” or “Get this: my husband wanted to use [hilarious and out-of-the-question option]!” This can lead to suggestions and guesses, but you can just raise your eyebrows and look mysterious because you’ve already said you’re not going to tell the name. Or you can lob the discussion back to them: ask them if they had trouble agreeing on names, or what they think about using family names, or what names they wish they could use.<\/p>\n

If by decoy names you mean names of the “We’re thinking about X and Y but aren’t sure” type, then I think that seems like a good script—especially for early on, when it wouldn’t be strange to be undecided. For the X and Y, I’d use names you actually did consider (or names similar to names you actually did consider), but have decided not to use. But if by decoy names you mean telling other people that you have chosen names, and then saying fake names you aren’t going to use, I would not recommend that. If it feels awkward to say you’re not sharing names, it seems as if it would feel much more awkward to explain afterward that you lied because you didn’t want to share names. Furthermore, one of the many reasons people have for asking about baby names is that they like to get baby gifts personalized.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Good morning Swistle! My husband and I are expecting our first baby in September. We would like to keep the name a secret… Unwanted advice is on the top 5 pregnancy annoyances and I’m not ready to cause confrontation. Instead of saying ” we haven’t decided yet or are unsure” for the next 6 months, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11956","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3iyiG-36Q","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11956","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11956"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11956\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11960,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11956\/revisions\/11960"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11956"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11956"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11956"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}