{"id":11348,"date":"2015-05-20T11:07:29","date_gmt":"2015-05-20T15:07:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/?p=11348"},"modified":"2015-05-20T11:22:12","modified_gmt":"2015-05-20T15:22:12","slug":"middle-name-challenge-james-_____-_______-langlee-brother-to-mila-juliet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/2015\/05\/20\/middle-name-challenge-james-_____-_______-langlee-brother-to-mila-juliet\/","title":{"rendered":"Middle Name Challenge: James _____ _______ Langlee, Brother to Mila Juliet"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m due in 3 weeks and 5 days and we have made NO progress on the baby boy name. Naming a baby shouldn’t be this stressful!!! Desperately looking for some baby name advice. Anything would help at this point. I’m still holding out for that lightbulb “ahah” moment when I just ‘know’ it’s the one. Anyways, here are the details:
\n– we have a 2 year old daughter named Mila Juliet Langlee (last name is similiar sounding- but changed for privacy)
\n– we know we are having a boy
\n– my husband and I both want to name him James for a first name
\n—— my husband is obsessed with James Dean and James Bond
\n—— I like the connection to Jacob – which is a beloved family member name that passed away
\n—— I think Mila and James sound good together (I think!)
\nB U T
\nI’m worried James is way too boring\/common. I would really like to spice it up with a middle name (or even 2 middle names) to make it unique and original.
\nThings we have been toying around with:
\n– I would love to honor my dad Matthew (Maciej) somehow. But I think Matthew is waaaay to boring – and makes James even more common. And I think the polish version Maciej is just plain to weird for english speakers.
\n– I have a polish background (hence why we felt we could use Mila) and my husband is English\/Irish\/German
\n– Names I have considered but they just don’t seem ‘right’:
\n—— Christian (i like it but not really a stand out)
\n—— Tristan (i like but seems kind of out of left field)
\n—— Liam (too common?)
\n—— Finn (too casual?)
\n—— Matteo (I’m not latin…)
\n—— Luke (meh?)
\n—— Leo (too nicknamey?)
\n—— Nicholas (can’t remember who didn’t like this one)<\/p>\n

AHHHHHHHHH!
\nPlease help!
\nOh please oh please oh please!<\/p>\n

James ‘blank blank’ Langlee<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

Here is my first question: Do YOU think the name James is boring\/common? Or are you worried OTHER people will think so? If YOU think the name is delightful and full of meaning and not boring at all, then I wonder if it would be helpful to practice some shrugging. Any name you choose, there will be someone who thinks it is too boring or too out-there, too common or too unusual, too old or too new, too long or too short. I can see how there could be a group who would hear the name James and think “YAWN.” And to them we say “SHRUG.” Perhaps they would prefer to choose different names for their own babies, then.<\/p>\n

I suggest using some spin, even in your own thoughts. When your mind frets that the name James is “too common,” correct it: it’s a popular and enduring classic<\/em>—as in, a lot of people love it, and a lot of people have loved it for MILLENNIA. Let’s sing that Christina Perri song<\/a> to the name James:<\/p>\n

I have loved you for a
\nThousand years
\nI’ll love you for a
\nThousand more<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

(Sing the “Darling, don’t be afraid” part to yourself.)<\/p>\n

Well, all this is if you DO love the name. I find it delightful and not boring at all, and a lot of other people find it delightful and not boring at all, but do YOU find it so? If this is not last-minute fretting but is instead a more serious issue such as that the name James is your husband’s choice but you are really not feeling it, then it is a different matter. In that case I’d suggest telling your husband immediately, switching James to a middle name, and starting over from scratch on the first name. It may feel too late to do that, but it’s a little like calling off a wedding: as the date approaches, it gets harder and harder to do—but if it’s not right, it’s not right.<\/p>\n

But if you do love the name and you’d just like to make it a little peppier, then this is a very, very fun task. I think the middle name region is a great place to get adventurous, and a great way to balance the style of a first name: something more conservative for a daring first name, something more daring for a conservative first name.<\/p>\n

I also feel much less stress about middle name issues than about first name issues. I might not be sure about a difficult to spell\/pronounce name such as Thijs (a name from my own ethnic background) as a first name, but as a middle name? Sure! I might not be sure about the flow of a French first name with the cultural clash of my surname, but as a middle name? Sure! Maybe I’m not sure a name such as Marigold or Clover is one I want to use as a first name, but as a middle name? Sure!<\/p>\n

If you were considering Maciej as a first name, I’d be totally with you on the spelling\/pronunciation issues for the United States: that was how I felt in the end about the name Thijs: just TOO HARD. But as a middle name, I think it’s terrific. (Pronunciation of Maciej for those who are interested: Forvo<\/a>, Straight Dope discussion board<\/a>.)<\/p>\n

Middle names are hardly ever used, especially by strangers; I have to put them on paperwork, but even my good friends probably don’t know my middle names or remember my children’s middle names. On the rare occasions when the middle name comes out (probably to someone like me, enthusiastically questioning you at a party or at the park, or maybe to a curious receptionist), you’ll say “It’s my dad’s name,” and that will be the end of it; you’re more likely to get a “Cool!” than a funny look.<\/p>\n

Of the other names on your list, I’d get rid of any that seem meh or boring to you, but keep any that you’re only worried will seem meh or boring to others. Do you love the name Liam? Then it’s not too common.<\/p>\n

Finn doesn’t seem too casual to me, Leo doesn’t seem too nicknamey.<\/p>\n

If you love Tristan, I don’t think it matters if it’s out of left field: in fact, that’s a point in its favor, if your goal is to spice up the name. James Tristan Maciej Langlee is a splendid name.<\/p>\n

I suggest using this as your main filter: Does the name make your heart give a happy little jump and make baby-naming seem like fun again? Then keep it on the list. Does it make you sigh and feel as if this task is futile? Then cross it off. If you’re left with none, go back to the baby name book and skim it; see if any names give you that happy feeling. Any that stay on the list or are added to the list, write them on little pieces of paper and start playing with arrangements. Like this:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Your husband likes James because he loves James Bond and James Dean; are there some actors\/characters\/authors\/poets\/scientists\/activists you love, and do any of them have first\/last names you could use? If the surname is your husband’s, would your maiden name be useable? Do you have any more family names you could use, including surnames and male versions of women’s names (Paul to honor a Paula, for example)? Do you have any names you considered as first names but had to rule out for reasons that were important for a first name but wouldn’t be important for a middle name (for example, a friend already used the name, or it’s the name of a dearly loved family member but you really dislike their name, or it didn’t sound right with the surname)? I notice you like Leo and Matteo; would you like Hugo or Nico? I notice you like Leo and Liam; would you like Leon or Lee? (Well, perhaps not with the surname, depending on what it is.) If Nicholas is not quite right, would you like Nico or Cole? I notice you like Christian and Tristan; I wonder if you (or your daughter, if she’s old enough to enjoy the movie Frozen) would like Kristoff? And so on.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m due in 3 weeks and 5 days and we have made NO progress on the baby boy name. Naming a baby shouldn’t be this stressful!!! Desperately looking for some baby name advice. Anything would help at this point. I’m still holding out for that lightbulb “ahah” moment when I just ‘know’ it’s the one. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11348","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3iyiG-2X2","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11348","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11348"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11348\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11357,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11348\/revisions\/11357"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11348"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11348"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11348"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}