{"id":10478,"date":"2014-09-25T08:53:11","date_gmt":"2014-09-25T12:53:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/?p=10478"},"modified":"2014-11-30T09:09:45","modified_gmt":"2014-11-30T13:09:45","slug":"baby-girl-or-boy-am0s","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/2014\/09\/25\/baby-girl-or-boy-am0s\/","title":{"rendered":"Baby Girl or Boy Am0s"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hello Swistle!<\/p>\n

I’ve been following your blog for a long time, well before marriage, children, and the like. I never imagined needing your assistance, given my long lead time on coming up with a name, but here we are, seven weeks out from the due date (11\/7), and I’m getting cold feet (about the name, not the child. Whew.)<\/p>\n

We are keeping all names close to the vest, so I find myself unable to talk through any of this with someone, and it’s beginning to play with my 3rd trimester brain. I would so appreciate your thoughts. We are not finding out the gender and would like to go in with 2 names for each and see what the wrinkly little person looks like. We’re good on boys; need some help & possible reassurance on girls.<\/p>\n

I am a Sarah and my husband’s name is Michael, nn Mike. (Yes, why we are two children of the mid-80s!) My name is a family name, after my father’s sister who passed away (she went by Sally). Both our middle names are our mothers’ maiden, which is a traditional special to us that we thought we’d continue, though it hasn’t happened in our picks thus far. My maiden name is She@n, pronounced Shee-h@n. Mike’s middle & his mother’s maiden is Un, a name with origins in China. We are from Catholic families (mine Irish, his Filipino) and as such, have some names that are very common to us that are off limits because we do. not. need. another. Patrick.<\/p>\n

We feel pretty confident about our boy names: Oliver Hind3ry Am0s and Theodore Francis Am0s. Oliver is a name we discussed about in hushed tones and excitement the night we got engaged, when we spoke about our potential baby names for the first time. Hind3ry is my middle name, my mother’s maiden, and a side of the family that to which I am extremely close (much closer than to the She@n side). It would ‘sub’ for our maiden name tradition. Theodore (nn Teddy or Theo) is a name we are drawn to and in doing genealogy research, found out my husband’s great grandmother was named Teodora. Francis is my grandfather’s middle name, and he was such a special man that it’d be wonderful to have my son share part of his name. Putting the honor in the middle feels like a special secret between the generations.<\/p>\n

Girls… enter the cold feet.<\/p>\n

We had settled on Margaret Un Am0s. My mother and sister are both Margarets (Margie and Megie, respectively) and it’s a beloved but not overused name in my family. (Most, if not all, have gone by nicknames, including Peggy). Since it would be an honorific first name, I would not use my maiden or my middle name\/mother’s maiden, as then it would be the exact name of either. (Bridge too far.) She would share a middle name with my husband and have matching initials, MUA, with him and her paternal grandmother. It’s good, right?<\/p>\n

The hang-up with Margaret is the nickname. I had, for years, liked Molly for Margaret, even though I know it’s not traditional. (I’m blatantly stealing the nickname from Mary, but see Catholic roots above. No more Mary’s please!) But now I’m getting nervous. It feels so… cutsey. I think the “y” ending is throwing me. Can we have a Judge Molly? A President Molly? A Molly who walks into a boardroom of older men and is taken seriously? How much, if any, attention should we pay to the slight drug association? Many of the common nicknames of Margaret (Meg, Peg, Maggie, etc.) are off the table for various reasons. My husband has veto’d Greta. Is ‘Mim’ too out there as a possible nickname? On a scale of one to very, how desperate do I seem?<\/p>\n

The other girl name is Audrey Amos. I do love this name, have a dear childhood friend as the only Audrey I know, & enjoy the alliteration since I was a Sarah She@n for so long, but we are stuck on the middle. Audrey She@n Am0s sounds so serious – I think? Hind3ry is too many “y’s”. Adelia is a family name from waaaay back and I do like it, but it just doesn’t feel as special as I have no ‘real’ personal connection to the ancient Adelia.<\/p>\n

I have, in the past, liked more unisex names for girls, like Emerson and Addison, but they are not my husband’s cup of tea. I’d love to honor my grandmother, Wanda, but I just can’t with the Wanda.<\/p>\n

We plan on having 3-4 children and unused names from this round will likely be future contenders.<\/p>\n

I hope you have time to read my novella and share with your blog. I simply cannot think my way out of this one!<\/p>\n

In your debt,
\nSarah<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

The very reason many parents give for using a full name on the birth certificate is that the child then has something to fall back on later if the nickname is not serious enough. So for me, “Is Molly serious enough for future serious professions?” is not even a question that needs to be addressed: if it is not<\/em> serious enough, she will be able to use Margaret. Judge Margaret, President Margaret, Margaret walking into the board room. No problem here.<\/p>\n

The drug association, I also dismiss. It is fully possible that there are people whose first association with the name is drug-related, but I doubt this applies to a significant segment of the population. Even people who DO first associate the name Molly with drugs are surely also familiar with it as a girls’ given name, and so would not react as if you’d named your daughter Cocaine or Marijuana. Names such as Jack and John have far worse slang associated with them, and yet the names persevere.<\/p>\n

A bigger concern for me is that you say all the usual nicknames for Margaret are off the table for one reason or another. Many children do go their entire lives using the nickname their parents selected—but many others choose a different nickname. However, maybe the nicknames are unavailable for reasons that your daughter will agree with, or maybe you mean they’re off the table as PLANNED choices but would be completely acceptable as just-came-about-on-their-own ones—things like, “My sister goes by Meg, and that would be confusing,” where it would not be the nickname you’d choose, but it would be completely fine if your 17-year-old Molly decided to be Meg when she started college.<\/p>\n

You don’t specifically mention the nickname Daisy, though that may be included in “etc.” That one has some of the appeal of Molly, and seems like a particularly fun, Little-Womenesque choice in a family where there is also a Grandma Margaret and an Aunt Margaret.<\/p>\n

Mim seems as connected to Margaret as Molly does, so I don’t see any reason you couldn’t use it—but I don’t see the advantage of using it instead of the nickname you prefer. One advantage of Molly is that a lot of people are confused about which seemingly unconnected traditional nicknames (Peg, Polly, Molly, Sally, Daisy, Jack) go with which full names, and my guess is that a fair number of people would think, “Oh, right, Molly is one of those seemingly-unconnected nicknames for Margaret”: I did it myself for a moment, and I’m more interested in names than the average person.<\/p>\n

By the way, I like your whole concept of expanding the mother’s-maiden-name-as-middle-name tradition to include more maiden names. I think traditions end up being most pleasing and least burdensome when they’re FLEXIBLE. I think if I were you, I’d use a different family maiden name for each child—for the fun of it, and also to preserve as many family surnames as possible. Since the children will have their father’s surname, I’d be inclined to choose more names from your side of the family, but I wouldn’t be opposed to choosing an equal number from each side. (I would, however, be careful not to choose more from the father’s side.)
\nAudrey is also a great choice. I don’t think Audrey She@n Am0s is any more serious than Margaret Un Am0s, so that’s what I’d go with. Audrey Un Am0s seems like another good option. Or if you decide not to use maiden names for everyone’s middle, Audrey Frances would be a nice way to honor your grandfather. (But I’m very fond of the idea of a bunch of maiden names.)<\/p>\n

I do think it’s most likely that this is cold feet rather than serious hesitation. Margaret and Audrey are both wonderful names with significance for you, and they go beautifully with Oliver and Theodore.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Name update!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hi Swistle!<\/p>\n

A quick update from the newborn haze: Margaret (Molly) Un Am0s made her way into the world on 11\/09. The minute she landed on my chest she was a Molly; I just KNEW. (We didn’t even talk alternatives. After the difficult labor, my husband would have let me name her ‘Bob’ if I had wanted.) Thank you for all the thoughts, support, and wonderful nickname suggestions for Margaret. This blog and your readers are the best.<\/p>\n

Cheers,
\nSarah & Mol<\/p>\n

\"Molly\"<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hello Swistle! I’ve been following your blog for a long time, well before marriage, children, and the like. I never imagined needing your assistance, given my long lead time on coming up with a name, but here we are, seven weeks out from the due date (11\/7), and I’m getting cold feet (about the name, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10478","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-name-update"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3iyiG-2J0","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10478","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10478"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10478\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10696,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10478\/revisions\/10696"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10478"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10478"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swistle.com\/babynames\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10478"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}