Dear Swistle,
As a fellow name nerd, I adore your blog.
When we first started thinking about future children many years ago, my husband and I decided on Edith and Henry, and we were happy to have that done and decided. Three years ago this month, Edith became a reality, and today she is an opinionated toddler. Her baby brother is now due at the end of March.
However, a ton of people must share our taste because since having our first baby, I have met so many tiny Henrys I can’t even count them all, including children of close friends and colleagues. We live in New York City at the moment but travel to the UK a lot, where it is even more common and at number 15 on national name lists. Popularity doesn’t bother me so much conceptually; a lot of nice names are very popular, but from a practical standpoint, I realize he would be Henry P. all throughout school and possibly within work cohorts as well. Also, Edith’s name feels a lot more fresh or as if we put more thought into it, and it doesn’t really seem fair.
I grew up with a very common first name in the 80s and absolutely dreaded the first day of school every year when I would have to go by “first name, last name initial” to account for all the other name sharers. Other people don’t seem to be bothered by their own common names at all. I wish I could predict my son’s preferences!
That said, we are considering some alternatives. Albert is a family name, and I like the nicknames Albie and Bertie, at least until he tells me to knock it off. My husband likes Phillip, and his English grandfather’s name – Ralph (pronounced “Rafe”), which would not be pronounced that way in America. I like it pronounced Rafe, but not otherwise. I like Arthur but he does not.
Do you have any advice or alternatives for me? We are going in name circles. Don’t like surnames as first names. Middle name will sound like Cadlier and last name sounds like Pairton.
Thank you so much in advance!
Former Henry-Lover
I see what you mean, and so I am torn. On one hand, I want to urge you to use the name you love/chose, even though it has become more popular; I love the idea of you choosing your kids’ names long ago and then those children actually coming to be. On the other hand, the gap between the popularity of the name Edith (#526) and the popularity of the name Henry (#29) is wide, and it sounds as if some of the shine has come off the name Henry for you; and if you were saying “But now we HAVE to use it because we chose it long ago!,” I would be arguing vigorously that you were under no such obligation. So. Where does that leave us?
Reading your letter a few times, my feeling is that you would prefer to use a different name at this point. Before we move on to that, I will make sure to say that I do think sticking with the name Henry is also a good, valid option. In the U.S. the name is only at #29 as of 2015, given to less than half of one percent of new baby boys: on average, that’s approximately one Henry per 13 classrooms (assuming a class size of 30, about 50/50 boys/girls). Because even the most popular names are given to a smaller percentage of babies now than they were in the 1980s, the name Henry currently has popularity equivalent to a name barely in the Top 50 in the 1980s, such as Dustin or Kenneth. You may have had a Dustin and/or a Kenneth in one of your classrooms when you were a child, but statistically speaking he would be very unlikely to have needed to use his surname initial. Still, if you are currently living in and traveling to areas with more Henrys than typical, it is possible your Henry would sometimes have another Henry in his class, and would need to go by Henry P. or Hank or Henry Cadlier or some other option. Could you ask your friends and colleagues with Henrys if there are repeats in their classrooms?
If you decide to choose a different name, I think Albert and Phillip are both fabulous choices with Edith. I have a soft spot for the name Albert, so that would be my vote.
I think Ralph-pronounced-Rafe would be a huge headache in the United States, and not one I’d want to deal with as either the parent or the child. I suggest considering it as the middle name, if Cadlier is not set in stone. Albert Ralph Pairton. Phillip Ralph Pairton.
Henry would also make an excellent middle-name option, if you are reluctant to let it go. Albert Henry Pairton. Phillip Henry Pairton.
I’m having a little trouble with the Social Security site this morning, but it appears the name Edith was last popular in the 1890s and early 1900s. I looked at boy names from that period and found these possibilities to consider:
Alfred Cadlier Pairton; Edith and Alfred
Edward Cadlier Pairton; Edith and Edward (not sure about both names beginning in Ed-)
Franklin Cadlier Pairton; Edith and Franklin (not sure about the sound of Franklin Pairton)
Frederick Cadlier Pairton; Edith and Frederick
Leonard Cadlier Pairton; Edith and Leonard
Louis Cadlier Pairton; Edith and Louis
Oscar Cadlier Pairton; Edith and Oscar
Robert Cadlier Pairton; Edith and Robert
Russell Cadlier Pairton; Edith and Russell
These are reminding me of a post we did the other day: Baby Girl or Boy Lutter-with-a-C, Sibling to Theodore and Edwin. Looking at that post, I’d also like to add Harvey: Harvey Cadlier Pairton; Edith and Harvey.
Name update:
We ended up with an Albert (Bertie)! Sometimes I still wonder about Henry and I think if we ever accidentally had another boy we’d probably still use it.
I love the idea of using Henry with the nn Hank, that feels fresh. I also have a huge crush on Rafe, spelled that way to avoid inevitable confusion. I think Edith and Rafe are an ingenious pair. Plus if you like the name and it’s in his family, sounds like perfection.
Yes, I was going to suggest this too. Just spell the name Rafe! Love it!
I was going to suggest Rafe spelled how it sounds, but Renee beat me to it! Not sure if it would diminish the honor value or not, but I love the pronunciation so much!
Agreed with previous posters–name him Rafe! A well-known teacher has that name: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rafe_Esquith
I live on a block where the neighbors on either side of me each have a two year old named Henry. And then one became Hank and then the OTHER became Hank. It seems like it would be super aggravating, but everyone seems to just roll with it and find it lovely. As a block we namestormed some additional nicknames: Hen, Heiko, Hal, Harry but none have stuck. Now when I’m with one family talking about the other I say “Other Hank” to distinguish. This long story is just to say what could be a Worst Case Scario by a lot of measurements is in fact Charming.
I adore Oscar as a runner up. Also, Harold??
Scario must have been a Freudian slip-I meant scenario ;)
Just throwing in support for Philip (especially in full) because I think it’s classic and refreshing. Edith and Philip (or double ll – not sure yet which is the preferred spelling) sound great together!
I’d like to submit Otis for consideration! My brother and his wife considered it and ended up using Henry but I still love it and it sounds great with Edith.
If I had another daughter I would name her Edith in a heartbeat. So I will suggest my own favorite boy name: Hugh.
I am also newly keen to Bernard and Arnold as name possibilities. (Thanks, Westworld.) Both seem like good potential fits with Edith.
Congratulations on the new addition!
I was just coming to suggest Hugh, as it’s my favorite boy name as well.
We had a neighbor whose son was called Rafe and I think it’s very pleasing, so I agree with others who have suggested it.
I also really like Swistle’s suggestion of Frederick.
Phillip is a great name. It’s so handsome for an adult and it would be charming on a young boy. Paul is another name in that category that came to mind when I read your letter. Edith & Paul make a sweet sibling pair.
I second Swistle’s suggestions of Louis and Robert. I would add David and Joseph, as well. (Maybe those are too common/modern for your taste, but I think having an Edith as a sibling would give the names a vintage spin.)
And throwing this out there because I love it, and it sounds a little like Henry while giving off more of an “Albert” vibe: Stanley??
Swistle’s suggestions are great, I especially love and am ready for a baby Harvey in this world.
What about Leland?
I agree, there are many boys named Henry in NYC! I meet them frequently.
HOWEVER, are you paying attention to ages? If you know 6 Henrys, but they’re ages newborn, 2, 4, 9, 10, and 15…it’s not an accurate picture of the specific name ecosystem your Henry, born in 2017, will grow up in. There might be no other Henrys in his specific classes or even grade. As Swistle pointed out, #29 now is equivalent to a much lower rank in popularity in the 1980s. The closest name to Henry, percentagewise, in 1985 was Gregory. I knew a few Gregs in school, but it was nowhere near as common as Christopher, Michael, Dan, Josh, etc.
Would your husband like Alfred instead of Arthur? Alfie’s an adorable nickname! I also thought of Miles/Milo.
Also, just to put it out there, Henry ranked slightly lower in New York State (#33) in 2015 than it did nationwide. There were 549 Henrys born in 2015 in NYS.
I know siblings Edith and Stuart
Charles.
I really like Edith and Phillip for siblings. I like the suggestion of Bernard, and wonder if you would like George. Edith and George; George Pairton.
Lyndon/Linden?
I wonder if looking at presidents’ and VPs’ names might help you.
What about Raphael, nicknamed Rafe? Raphael and Edith go well in my opinion.
this!
I’m throwing out a big I Love Albert!! I think it fits perfectly with Edith. (I do also love Henry but seems like you are almost over it).
What about Raphael and call him Rafe? Do you like that any better?
Is Oliver too common for you? I love Otto or Otis or Arlo.
What about Wells? Edith and Wells?
I’m really liking Gilbert, nn Giles or Bertie.
Louis? Edith and Louis.
Walter. I so love this name. Walter is totally needing a comeback. And how can you resist a little Walt?
Good luck!
Just my two cents – a good friend named his child Raif, pronounced as you are with Rafe. There really hasn’t been a lot of confusion about his name, and when asked, they just explain it is a variation of Ralph & a family name and no one bats an eye. If you like it, Rafe and Raif are both still great (and less used) options!
Ooh what about Bruce?? Edith and Bruce are a smashing sib set.
Also forgot to include that I also love Hugh.
Warren. Completely under the radar, but so handsome. I also like Grant, Bernard, and Albert. Bertie!
I think you should ask yourself two questions:
1) Let’s say you choose a name other than Henry, and then soon after a close friend or family member names their son Henry. How would you feel? Would you be relieved that you didn’t use Henry? Or would you be jealous that they weren’t bothered by popularity issues and used it anyway?
2) Let’s also say you choose a name other than Henry, but then you come to find that there is another little boy with that other name in your son’s life somewhere. Would it make you wish you had just chosen Henry because the thing you dreaded still happened AND you didn’t choose the name you really wanted? Or would you still feel happy with your choice?
These were the two questions I asked myself, and after I thought these things through, I ended up with my own Henry. :) We have met other Henrys, at parks, in school etc. but I am happy with our choice. In my case, I realized that the other names we were considering had a good chance of appearing on other kids too, so I just chose our favorite. Of course everyone is different. Good luck!
These are such smart questions, and I keep coming back to them. I think I would be a little wistful if my brother- and sister-in-law (due two months later, actually!) chose Henry. Thank you for writing this.
My dad’s MN is Edwin. It gives you two Ed- names, which you may not like, but I think Edith and Edwin sounds awesome together. My grandmother is a British ex-pat. Also, you could nn Win, which is adorable.
If you like the spelling of “Ralph,” why not just name him Ralph and explain to all that his nickname is “Rafe?” Rafe seems like a smashing nickname for Ralph, with the added advantage that it’s how the name Ralph is actually pronounced in some countries. “Rafe” looks and sounds great, and I think it would make a cool nickname that would wear well. Not to mention little Rafe would have an easier time learning to write and spell his name. I already love it, and I only considered it for the first time five minutes ago. I also think it’s great with Edith. I feel like getting a little pushy about it. Rafe! Rafe!
Seconding that idea. Formal name Ralph, nickname Rafe. When you travel to the UK, no problem. When you’re Stateside, the nickname makes it clear.
I would avoid Ralph because it is slang for vomiting.
Unfortunately. I am in NY and know a few Henry’s under 2.
Phillip and Albert are great choices. Other suggestions I really like are Otis, Paul, and Oscar.
Have you considered Peter, Gordon, Maurice, or Rupert?
Edith is one of my favourite girls’ names! For your son, have you considered Philip nn Pip?
You have gotten some great suggestions:-) If you love Henry, go for it! otherwise, my favorites are Rafe, Arlo, and Walter depending on if you want more of a sophisticated feel, a hipster feel, or a timeless but a little old fashioned feel (each of which is great in it’s own way…
Edith and Raphael
Edith and Rafe
Edith and Arlo
Edith and Henry
Edith and Walter
Edith and Otis
Edith and Clive
Edith and Bernard
Edith and Adrian
Edith and Edwin
Edith and Theodore
Edith and Edward
Edith and Albert
Edith and Harvey
Edith and William
Edith and George
Edith and Harry
Edith and Harrison
Edith and Brooks
Edith and Oliver
How about Edmund? It’s literary, refined, classic, and overlooked.
Even more so? Edgar.
But maybe you don’t want to repeat initials. Lewis might suit your family as well.
Other ideas:
Harold (love the purple crayon connection)
Robert (nickname of Hob)… or the British version: Rupert!
Digory
Jasper
Montgomery
Howard
Thurston
Chester
Augustine
Mitchell
Bernard
Ambrose
Cornelius
Barnaby
Dashiel
Bartholomew
Best wishes!!
I LOVE Edith! For a sibling, I really like Philip, as well as Leo, Benedict, and Julian.
Or Gerard or Tobias?
These suggestions are amazing! I don’t think I’ve ever had such good advice from people who have similar taste and love discussing names. Thank you, Swistle, for posting this and for everyone’s comments. So much to think about here, especially how much would it bother me if a family member used Henry soon afterward when we did not, and using Ralph on the birth certificate but Rafe everywhere else. Great ideas. I’ll keep reading and will definitely write in again in March.
I really like Arthur or Alfred or Albert for you.
I have a 9 year old, 3rd grade Henry. The name is now #6 in our state, so I hear it quite a bit at stores and in the pool and parks in the summer – but it’s on younger children. We got to use it before it became super popular. (He’s not had another Henry in his grade at school. There is one in the grade below.) I’m not sure if our son was being born now that I would still pick the name. It is a great name though! Plus I like the story of you having chosen it several years ago. We also have a 5 year old George and that’s another good “Henry alternative”.
How about Howard? My son has a friend named Howard that goes by Howie. Harvey is another “similar to Henry” name.
Oh and Frederick is adorable too. That was my top pick for our 5 year old, but we used it in the middle instead.
My great-grandmother was named Edith, and one of her brothers was Howard, the other was Charles. The other guys from her generation among my ancestors were Victor (her husband), Oscar, 2 Pauls, Felix, John, Bryant, and Arnold.
How about Rafferty with the nn Rafe, Raff or Raffy?
Henry would not have to be Henry last initial. Perhaps you could plan on Hank or Harry in case he has other Henry’s in class? Though I will second everything Swistle said about name popularity. It’s just not what it used to be. My oldest has a name that was too 10 in our state the year he was born. We have met a couple kids with the name, but he has never had a classmate who shared it.
But if Henry is really a no go, I love both Albert and Arthur for you. I’ll also throw out Walter and August/Augustus, and George
I say go with Ralph and use Rafe as a “nickname” if it’ll help people with the pronunciation.
Honestly, I think enough Americans are familiar with Ralph Fiennes that it shouldn’t and won’t be an issue to say “Ralph like Ralph Fiennes”. A few people will mess it up, inevitably, but so what? My given name is Kristin and people *always* misspell it. I’ve also been called Kristy, Kirstie, Christine, Christina, etc. People botch names even simple and straightforward ones. Reading your letter it seemed like Ralph was the front runner for you and your husband aside from the potential pronunciation confusion. Let that roll off your back – every kid with a nickname has to tell people to use the nickname rather than their full name. If that can be handled then so can your issue. Plus Ralph and Edith sound great together and you’ll be getting a family connection. Wins all around, as far as I can see.
I’m familiar with the actor Ralph Fiennes, but I honestly had no idea that his first name was pronounced like Rafe though I knew his last name was pronounced like Fines.
I have a Frederick, nicknamed Freddie, and we love it! It’s fresh and cute and classic, all at once. Not common, but easily recognized and easily spelled. It also means “peaceful ruler,” which has not so much fit our active toddler so far in life, but I have hope for the future!
I think Henry isn’t too popular to use and it’s darling with Edith. But if you want to make a change, I like Philip best from the second string list. From Swistle’s suggestions, I like Edward, Franklin, Leonard (nn Leo perhaps?), Louis and Robert best. I was going to suggest James but it turns out it’s more popular than Henry.
I really like Ralph (Rafe) but there will be pronunciation problems with that one. As it is an honor name, I think I would just go for it and spell it Rafe to eliminate confusion. I have seen the Rafe spelling before and quite like it. Maybe move it to the middle name spot if you’re not sure. Or Rafe Henry perhaps? Edith and Rafe sound so great together!
As for Henry, yes it does seem to be popular at the moment, but it is a classic and has ALWAYS been around. Don’t give up on it if you really love it. The nickname Harry is cool to, just like Prince Harry!
Albert nicknamed Bertie is cute but I think Alfred with the nicknames Alfie or Freddie is pretty adorable too!
What about Miles, Edmund, Martin, Rex, Alistair, Ross (Poldark anyone?), Gilbert, Archie, Winston or Calvin?
Love Edith by the way!
Good luck!
I wouldn’t give up on Henry. What if you choose , say, Albert, and then he starts preschool and he has no Henrys but another Albert? I say that because I have been really surprised at the names in my son’s preschool…no Henrys, which seems really popular here, too, but multiple Liam’s and Ellie’s. And then some very surprising names, like a Warren. Who would expect Warren?? And some more unique and trendy names, where you feel like you will be the only one…except that we have two Quinn’s and two Blazes. You just really can’t predict! I think it’s best to go with a name you LOVE no matter what. Henry is a perfect name, because it’s so classic. It’s like a William, David, John, etc., where you just can’t really go wrong. And Henry has that British feel, like Edith.
But if you are over Henry, I really like Rafe and Philip. Both sound great with Edith.
Good luck!!
I agree with Emily. We have a daughter Pearl, and despite her name being in the 600s for popularity, there is another Pearl at her daycare! It doesn’t bother me at all, and we named her after my grandmother so it is very special to us, but going with what you love will always feel right! Best of luck.
Leopold is my favorite suggestion for you. Edith and leopold. Swoon. Also agree with everyone else that you should use Henry if you still love it. Albert and Arthur are great though if I were you I’d feel obligated to use another vowel name if I had a third. Other names that feel like Edith to me- Beckett, Bennett, Emmett (but again the third child problem), Julian, Julius, George, Wesley, Sebastian.
I live in San Francisco.
My 3-year-old daughter has two Henrys and a Harry in her class of 21. There is at least one Henry in every class at her daycare (which runs ages 0-5). (Interestingly, perhaps randomly, there also are 2 boys named Joe in my youngest’s infant room of 13.)
When I was naming my youngest, I worried a lot about the name I loved best, Grace, being too popular because of its SSBN ranking. But then I realized that out of 600+ kids at both my older kids’ schools there were no Graces at all. She just turned one, and despite there being more than 7000 baby Graces registered in the US in 2015, she is the only one I know under 35. I speculate that many Grace-naming parents in the US may be religious Christians, a minority group in my city….
All of which is to say that I think it makes a lot of sense to understand your very local name environment if you think you’ll be raising your kid in that community and you care about name repeats.
This is good advice! My experience living in NYC (and previously working at a Manhattan daycare) is that while Henry is indeed very popular among mostly white (and Asian) American-born upper middle class/creative class parents, most NYC schools are diverse enough to avoid the kind of saturation you’re talking about. Other demographics (including Euro expats, which NY has a ton of in the schools) don’t really use Henry as much.
NYC takes forever to release baby name stats, but when they do they break it down by demographics, which is interesting: http://gothamist.com/2015/12/30/baby_names_2014.php
I thought I loved Rafe until I realized there were even a couple of pronunciations of that. BNW has it as RAYF. I thought it was a two syllable name like, laughy taffy, rafe. Now I’m torn.
Rufus came to mind.
Also Roland and Warren and Wallace.
Hi! Fellow mom to an Edith here! We almost exclusively call our opinionated toddler Edie, but it seems we have similar tastes.
We have settled on a possible future boys name of Elliot, for a lot of family reasons. Without that constraint though, I love Albert from your list…I’d probably call him Al, which I love for a kid. You have TONS of great suggestions above. Other names that come to mind: Franklin (probably no good with your last name), Frederick, Thomas, Samuel, Hugo, and Daniel.
Cannot WAIT to hear the update here.
Have we said keep Henry and use Harry as the nickname, like Prince Harry? Also I like Hugh a LOT and apropos of nothing, I like Daniel with Edith. Good luck!
I am reading and loving all of these. Thank you so much.
-Laura
Suggesting “Ike” 😊
Others I like…
Rafe
Arthur
Alfred
Louis/ Louie
Hugo
Calvin
Thomas
Samuel
Dashiel
Walt
George
Harvey
Harvey could be a great alternative, though even if you decided on Henry, it’s not crazy common. As a mom of three (and one who also worried about Henry popularity, I can tell you I definitely do not hear it as often as I thought I might!)
Ok, so we are totally digging the same name styles… here is my five pennies worth:
Like you I adore the name Edith. So much so, my darling 12 week old daughter bestows the name. She’s my third daughter; little sister to Olive and Mabel.
My unfaltering choice for a boy for every single pregnancy has been Albert George. Without a doubt.
I too adore Henry. The popularity grates me slightly and we have a close relative so had to totally rule it out because of the link and as a teacher I couldn’t cope with the thought of my boy being Henry X at school.
I am English (living overseas) and wanted strong English vintage names for my children. George is also a wonderful choice; but again would never use after the royals used it for Prince George but was a favourite for along time. As a middle name it compliments Albert perfectly.
For me Albert which we’d have used interchangeably with the nickname Albie (which I much prefer to Bertie as a nn) is totally perfect for any little boy. It’s strong with a gentle undertone; it could be used in the boardroom (Albert) or at the beach (esp Albie). We use the boardroom beach analogy for all of our children’s names as I think it’s important to name children in away that gives them the versatility to be whoever they want to be, and own their names rather than their names own them if that makes sense.
For me, a fellow lover of Henry but with the absolute same reservations about using it linked to popularity, Albert is a perfect choice.
Another one to throw around which was my boy name pre having any children (which I paired with Edith in my aspirations) is Ned. You could use the long form Edward and use Ned day to day, or just go with Ned on its own. I still don’t think you can beat Albert, but Ned would be an awesome alternative choice as a brother to Edith.
If I can convince my hubster to go 4; and we have a boy, he will be Albert for sure.
Thank you for this! Love your girls’ names. Albert is really growing on us, and I think we’re going to end up with some combination of Albert and Henry (not sure the order), and give up on the surname-as-middle name we were going to use originally. I will definitely post an update once he’s named. I love this blog.
Do you have an update on his name? :) I have a 3 yo Edith and a boy due in October.
Henry is already taken by a family member.
Albert is growing on me …
I’m leaning towards Theodore (nn Theo).
Hello! Thank you so much for reminding me of this post and wonderful blog. We ended up with an Albert (Bertie)! Sometimes I still wonder about Henry and I think if we ever accidentally had another boy we’d probably still use it.
Yay, I love to hear about other Ediths! Theo is so sweet, too. Please post what you end up choosing. : )
Oh wowsers!!! That’s really made me so chuffed! You went for it!!!
Albert is just devine. We were only talking about the name the other day when someone who said she loved my girls names asked what our boys names were.
Once again I said there was only ever one and it was Albert.
What an absolutely sweetie.
Edith and Albert just the most heavenly sibset!
We are done as my hubby has had the snip; but I still love a little Albert to add to my brood.
Wonderful name! Xxxx