Dear Swistle,
We named our first son Elijah. Our second son will be born on January 10th. Since we found out the gender, I have been very anxious about his name. My husband and I can agree on girls names but not boys! Gabe likes “Samuel” as the formal name, but would want to call the baby Sam. I like it, but don’t love it. When we had Elijah, my top pick was “Micah.” But when the baby was born we both looked at him and decided he looked more like an Elijah. My top pick this time (that my husband Gabe agrees to) is “Maxmillian” and we would use the nickname Max. I like it–but don’t love it like I love Elijah’s name, but I like it more than Samuel. I have many names I do love, but due to close family relationships–we can’t use as a first name (Dominic, Cameron, Sebastian). Names I love my husband won’t agree to are; Rafael, Jonah, Andre, Mattias, Mateo. My husband’s last name is Martinez which we are using for our children, so he doesn’t want the first name to be too ethnic.I still love the name Micah, but it is my little bother’s name who has been estranged from most of the family for several years (he has a controlling wife who has cut off ties with most of his friends and family). I don’t want to honor him in any way by using the name, and since I have only seen him once in 11 years, it wouldn’t be a name conflict (Big Micah, Little Micah). My parents are so upset by the situation (my mom has nightmares about Micah’s wife), I think my mom is opposed to me using the name but is too polite to say. So it has kind of soured me on using the name Micah.
My husband’s brother named all his 4 kids with the letter “I” which I dislike very much. For that reason I would prefer this second baby have his own initial—not an “E.”
We both come from big Catholic families. My family is very tall so my parents named us unusual names so we would never be called “Big Bob” if there were kids in our classes with the same names.
Any help would be greatly appreciated. This boy is coming in 76 days! We are already booked with the hospital.
Anxious Mom Kendra
The name Elijah has had an interesting twist to its style path, as have the similar names Noah, Ezra, and Isaiah: they’ve gone mainstream. When I was a child, if I’d thought about what names would be good sibling names for an Elijah, I would have said it HAD to be another intensely biblical name; now, I would say it has to be something similarly hip and modern. It’s a good illustration of how subjective and shifting naming style is.
I don’t see any possible way to name your son Micah. Your brother’s name is Micah and you want to be absolutely sure not to honor him in any way; certainly naming your son the same name would be perceived as an honor. Your parents are deeply upset over your brother Micah’s estrangement from the family, to the point of your mother having nightmares; a grandson named Micah would be a constant reminder of the other Micah. Absolutely you should not use this name. Can we use a black permanent marker to cross it off the list right this second? I feel like crossing it off on my computer screen. Holy pete, definitely not Micah.
Are you set on Maxmillian for the longer form of Max? I think I would go with the more traditional Maximilian instead, unless you have a reason for using the other form (e.g., if it’s an honor name). Samuel/Sam and Maximilian/Max both seem like nice options. Eli and Sam, Eli and Max. It’s understandable if you don’t love the name Max as much as you love the name Elijah, since the name Elijah is already attached to your dear baby. But if it doesn’t seem quite right, let’s see if we can come up with more options to consider:
Aidric
August/Gus
Benjamin/Ben
Isaac/Ike/Zac
Felix
Jasper
Joseph/Joe
Malachi
Nathaniel/Nate
Ruben
Simon
Xavier
Name update:
Dear Swistle, Our second baby boy was born on January 10th at 10:10 a.m. We struggled coming up with a name we both liked, my husband wanted Samuel/Sam, and I liked Maximilian/Max (the only name he approved on my list). We avoided using my brother’s name (Micah) because it caused pain to my family due to a long estrangement (Micah’s wife has isolated him from most family and friends, and he has allowed it).
We named our second son Maximilian Dominic Martinez. We almost left the hospital with no name since we couldn’t agree. At the eleventh hour, my husband finally caved on Maximilian and he picked the middle name of Dominic (which happens to be my favorite name and the name of our littlest nephew!). “Max” is the little brother of Elijah Blue (2 years, 4 months old). Eli and Max. We are adjusting to less and less sleep as Elijah wakes up often with Max at night, and isn’t very happy having to share his parents so far. We hope the next child, if we are so lucky to have another child, is a girl —only because we agree on girl names! Thanks for all your help and your readers help!
Kendra
I have an Eli, and my other two sons are Oskar and Cowen. You liked Sebastian, which my sister used. Her other boys are Orlando (called Lando–this is my TOP CHOICE for you as it is very masculine and has a bit of swagger, like Elijah), Jubal and Efraim.
So, top choice is Orlando/Lando, but I also liked the suggestion of Gus. That has some swagger in it as well. Also, Bridger or Wyatt gives you the swagger without any hint of ethnicity.
Good luck!!
Please just say no to Micah.
I like Sam and Max. Other options might be:
Silas
Hudson
Jonah
Xander
Felix and Isaac are great suggestions.
I like Emmett for you but it starts with an “e”.
Dimitri
Cortlund
Bradford
Gideon
Josiah
Definitely not Micah, even though I really like it.
I liked Swistle’s suggestions of Benjamin, Isaac, Malachi, or Nathaniel. Those are nice style matches for Elijah. Since you seem drawn to -ah names for boys, how about Isaiah, Josiah, or Noah? I also like Caleb, Matthew (Matt/Matty), Nicholas (Nick), or William (Will) for you. Nicholas Martinez has a really nice flow, actually.
Elijah still says biblical to me, despite its popularity, so that’s the direction I’m thinking of. From Swistle’s suggestions, I like Benjamin, Nathan(iel), Isaac, and Ruben. I think Samuel is a really nice match, but since you don’t like it, would you like Samson better?
Other suggestions:
Thomas
Jonathan
David
Daniel
Matthew (and Mateo could be your own special nn for him)
Nicholas
Joel
I agree with Swistle that Micah is totally unworkable. I have an estranged sister, and I’m trying to imagine what it would be like if I gave my daughter her name, and… no. It would make a very definite statement, no matter how much I protested that I just liked the name. I can’t even imagine how my brother/mother/other sister would feel about my skipping over all their names and choosing instead the name of the family member that HASN’T been there for me the way they have. And if my sister found out, she might draw some very strange conclusions — anything from, “Meredith is trying to kiss up to me by using my name,” to “Whaaa, Meredith named her daughter after me, like I’m DEAD??” No. Cast the name from your mind, because no good will come of using it.
Echoing Swistle and others that Micah is a nonstarter.
I like the suggestions of Isaac, Silas, Jasper, Wyatt and Thomas. I think they sound great with Elijah.
I like Maximilian, but I actually prefer Maxwell as a longform for Max. You would also have the options of the nickname Wells.
I wanted to suggest: Zachary, Oliver, Owen, Julian, Asher, Aidan
Ooooh there are some great ideas here that seem to be all in your naming style. There is a lot of overlap between your name style and mine so you might like some of the gems from my personal list! My faves so far that have been mentioned above are Silas, Maxwell, Oscar, Xander, Xavier, Felix, Isaac and August (nn Gus).
A few other ideas you may like: Cyrus, Cedric, Desmond, Benedict, Quentin, Vincent, Julian, Fabian, Miles, Marcus, Darius, Anton, Otis, Tobias, Kendrick, Declan.
My faves for you are Desmond and Tobias. You could use the nicknames Dez / Dezi, or Toby. I love these!
Oooh, Wells is a great suggestion!
Micah needs to be a hard no. There is just too much baggage associated with it. If you like the sound of Micah, perhaps Luca, Miles or Milo instead?
I know a couple of Eli/Elijah’s with brothers called Carter, Isaac, Isaiah, and Caleb, so I will suggest those. I’ll also add Tobias/Toby, Ezra, Liam, Simon and Xander
Thank-you Swistle and Swistle followers for all this help! MICAH is off the list! I really like Swistle’s spelling of the long form of Max and also the suggestion of Maxwell. WELLS is a family name! I really like Jonah, Gideon and Xander. Husband says they are “ok” but he prefers Sam and Max better. I love the name Zachary, but it is my eldest nephew’s name :( My brother-in-law with the 4 kids named with “I” include Isaac and Isaiah, and the brother-in-law is Benjamin!
My mom has pitched August “Gus”, Owen, Tobias and Jonah. I went to school with a Toby I didn’t care for–but I will revisit it and see if that is the block for Tobias.
My mother in law has pitched Nathaniel and Tristan. Tristan sounds like a girl’s name to me, or a cracker.
Keep the ideas coming–you are all helping me feel less anxious with your help!
I feel your pain, as there is a family name I love that I can’t use due to baggage, but I agree with everyone else that Micah is a no-go.
I LOVE Swistle’s suggestion of Isaac. Elijah and Isaac. Eli and Ike.
I really like Malachi as well, but I’m wondering if it’s too close to Elijah: Eli and Kai might be too matchy?
I also like:
Tobias/Toby
Alexander/Alex/Al/Xander
Tyler/Ty
Henry/Hank
Daniel/Danny
So many great suggestions here! I don’t think anyone’s yet mentioned Jude or Asher, both of which I like for Elijah’s brother.
Would Michael work? Same sound as Micah. Or is that still too close that it would remind people of Micah? Sounds to me, though, that Maxwell is your winner. You and your husband both like it and it has the family name connection in Wells. Plus it’s easier to spell than Maximilian. You could also look at a “Mac” name like Maclean or something.
Asa
Ben
Caleb (Cal)
Ignatius (Nash)
Judah
Jacob (Jake)
Carsten
Felix
Oscar
Nathanael
Luca
Adrien
Tobiah
Calvin
Leon
If you want to use the name Ruben, spelling it the biblical way Reuben would maybe be a better fit for Elijah? If you don’t mind popularity, Noah would be a lovely match for Elijah.
How about Zac for Zacharias?
Or Nick for Nicodemus?
Or even Sam for Sampson?
All would work with your sweet Eli!
Timothy is an under-used classic, too.
Best wishes!
Great suggestions. My eldest nephew is Zak short for Zachary. TIMOTHY has been on the top ten list for several months :) It is my cousins name whom I like very much and he never had kids. He would love us to use the name! I just don’t know if the Irish name goes so well with the last name Martinez. I like Sam for Sampson, but my husband prefers Samuel which I like too. Nicholas/Nico is on the list too, I have always loved this name –but one of my husband’s 14 first cousins is Nick. I always loved the name Lucas, but I don’t care for Luke–maybe because my husband’s sister kept calling Elijah “Luke Skywalker” so I took Lucas off the list :(
So many names suggestions today are names on my list. SWISTLE followers have been spot on! THANKS!
Wait, how is Timothy Irish? It’s from the Bible.
I don’t get Irish from Timothy…. google tells me the gaelic form of Timothy is Taidh but I’m not sure that is accurate. Timothy was a friend of St Paul, there are two epistles named after him in the new testament.
I don’t think anyone has suggested Donovan (because you like Dominic). No nickname, Van, or Donny. Eli & Van.
Another idea if you change your mind on shared initials is Ezekiel nn Zeke. Eli & Zeke.
I adore Samuel. Here are a few more suggestions, but I would say go with Samuel! Or Gideon. Gideon is a fabulous suggestion!
Christian
Anthony
Timothy
Simon
Aaron
Joshua
Matthew
Bartholomew
Xavier
Philip
Paul
Zeke
Magnus
Not Micah! It’s just not fair to your mother and the rest of your family.
The suggestion of Milo is great.
Out of the three names you say you love but can’t use because of family relationships– Dominic, Cameron, Sebastian– I’m wondering, how much have you thought that through? Are you overthinking it? You seemed ready to use Micah, which has a PAINFUL association; if Dominic, Cameron, or Sebastian are fine/neutral, why not use of them? In previous generations it was very normal for cousins to share names and for families to use a limited pool of names. I think it’s OK to double up!
Thanks Kay, MICAH is totally off the list! My husband has 8 nieces/nephews and hands down has the closest nephew relationship with Sebastian. We spend a lot of time with him and his family and it would feel odd to name our son the same name since they will be close cousins. For me, I am extremely close with my nephews Cameron and Dominic, although they live far away. I would absolutely use any of these names for the middle name though! Even though my husband comes from a very large Mexican family (@130 family members with @110 living in the San Diego area), only middle names have been sparingly duplicated, never as first names.
Some of Elijah’s cousins are named Jude, Noah (I like it but WAY too popular for me), Silas (don’t care for), Rafa (love this name but too ethnic for my husband, considered it as a first name because they live far away and will never move here and we rarely see them at family functions), Isaac and Isaiah (not big fans of these 2 names).
Names I have on my Swistle list now include: Jonah, Luca, Gideon, Nathaniel/Nate, Marcus (but worried about Marcus Martinez? “Mar— Mar”), Timothy/Tim, Tobias, Maximilian/Maxwell/NN Wells/Max, Samuel/Samson/Sam,
Middles: Dominic, Lucas, Alexander/Xander, Jeffrey (after my dad), Nicholas/Nico,
Names husband has vetoed: Rafael/Rafa, Matteo, Jameson/Jamie, Xavier (is Javier in Spanish), Malachi/Kai
Thanks for all the suggestions and guidance, it is helping a lot!
Nathanial and Tobias are my favorites from the suggestions so far.
I know a Tobias who goes by Tobes. His brother’s name is Joash (Jo-Ash) which is a rarely used name from the bible.
For some reason I really like Alexander nn Xander with Elijah. What about Joseph?
Good luck!
Timothy Martinez sounds fine to me. I also think that if you use Nicholas, calling him Nico (or Cole) would be different enough from cousin Nick.
I really like the suggestions of Julian, Oliver, and Malachi. I’ll add Levi to the suggestion list…Eli and Levi Martinez.
I’ll suggest:
Calvin (Cal)
Damian
Julian (Jules)
Judah
Andrew (Drew)
Adrian
Michael
Nathan (Nate)
Christian
Theodore (Teddy, Theo)
Nikolai/Nico
Caleb
Gavin
Anthony
Castiel
Jeremiah
Levi
Aaron
Asher (Ash)
A few of your names (Micah, Jonah, Rafael… ) match up with my likes, so I wonder if you might also like some of these: (I know others have already suggested several of them)
Reuben/Ruben
Aaron
Malcolm
Ian
Pascal
Simon
I would also add Gabriel. I actually love not-firstborn Jrs.
I think my favourite with Martinez is Aaron. Or maybe Pascal. Yes Pascal!
Loving so many of the names suggested here. How about Vincent, Matthias, Joseph or David?
I watched a Baby Story episode today where the kids were Elijah and Jonah – would you be interested in that? I think they’re well suited. Jonas would also work.
I love the name Jonah, husband says it reminds him of a whale :( He is still stuck on Sam, and Max is my sole-approved pick.
While I like both names, I am hoping to bring more names to the hospital in case this baby doesn’t look like a Sam or Max. We are 23 days away now–I am so ready, other than the name! One consolation to my husband’s stubbornness over the first name-I get to pick the middle name.
Thank-you again Swistle followers for all your great suggestions!
Awe, he’s adorable! Congrats. BTW, 01-10, 10:10 amuses my nerdy streak